Chapter Text
He avoids going to that place.
Not that he’s sure why. The lingering feeling of bitterness and melancholy reaches him every time whether it’s for a commission or a hangout, this is the last place he would want to go to.
Maybe it’s the loud, bustling noises of people and blasting music the place is famous for, or because of the time he almost drowned while learning how to swim, or because he gets recognised a lot by the people there.
Or perhaps, he associates that place with her.
To be more specific, the situation that led to him to be crestfallen, heart broken and— as much as he doesn’t want to acknowledge— spend many nights silently weeping into his pillow where nobody, including his saurian companion Ajaw, could see him in his vulnerable state.
But it’s all good now. He is still friends with her, if not good friends. Sometimes, too good of a friend that it felt like it never happened. And he’s lucky to be; it’s something his selfish self didn’t consider before. Being the mature adult he is, he puts it behind them. He’s moved on. It’s been three years, after all.
That did not mean that the place still didn’t make him sick to the stomach, nor that they still don’t share any awkward moments together. Far from it.
When he says he resented that place, he truly meant it. It’s like everytime he sees or comes to that place, it reminds him of that moment.
That moment when they threw sentences that drew each other's blood and left painful cuts, the hurt look on her face as tears poured from those eyes he very much adored and when it was far too late for him to realize he could’ve prevented and mended all of this. Everytime he comes across, it’s like a constant reminder for him shoved in his face. He remembers the exact moment all too well.
These thoughts constantly replayed in his head for a while and his rational, pragmatic self eventually came to the conclusion that maybe they weren’t made for each other or “soulmates”, as people called them, like they thought they were. She was outgoing, very friendly and empathetic— always prioritizing others and her emotions when making a decision; meanwhile Kinich was known for being reserved, logical, sometimes brutally rational, practical and usually throwing emotions out the window.
Maybe that was their biggest problem, he constantly reminded himself. That they never understood each other’s perspectives as complete opposites and they got lost in translation too easily. From small bickering to heated fights, all because they couldn’t communicate well. She was an emotionally sensitive person while Kinich, as someone who learnt to grow up with nothing and learnt almost everything by himself, is the complete opposite of that. Needless to say, he prefers a straightforward approach and learning the brutal, raw truth and Mualani prefers the opposite. He could never understand why, and that could be one of the gaps in their relationship needed to fill.
“Uh, Kinich.” The pixelated saurian companion probably noticed his “servant” is distracted with his own thoughts. “If the Almighty Dragon Lord recalls, you said you needed to talk to— ahem— you-know-who about that thing?”
“Right.” He grunted as he got up from the floor to a walking position, the cool breeze reached for his hair and messed it up. “Let’s go.”
“Are you sure this will work out? Especially the history you two have together.” The self-proclaimed dragon lord blurted out as they walked the street to her house.
This might be the first time he’s heard Ajaw be so reasonable and considerate. “I mean, we’re friends now and that’s all behind us. What could go wrong?” He had to lower his voice as he approached the door to her house, exactly the same as the one in his mental image.
It was hard to see due to his pixelated form, but Ajaw shrugged lightly as he reached the door and knocked it gently. He could hear the voice from the other side yell “Coming!” and the hurried footsteps getting louder before the door abruptly swung open, almost startling him.
She looks just as startled upon seeing him. “Oh hi, Kinich! It’s been a while since you’ve come to my house.” A while indeed, a year ago, just before the break up. “What’s up?”
“I… um…” Kinich was a straight forward man. Apparently not today. The cold, night breeze in Natlan wrapping around him didn’t help either. His eyes wandered around his surroundings (except for her) by instinct, and eventually landed on Ajaw who was impatiently waiting for him to answer Mualani, giving him a look that impatiently screamed Go on, Kinich.
“I was wondering if you could let me move in with you— just for a little while.” He finally looked at her, and she was probably twice as surprised than earlier. “A group of abyssal creatures attacked my house last night and completely wrecked it, but it’s getting fixed right now and would probably be done in about a few months. I’ll make sure to pay—“
“Sure!”
He blinked, just to make sure he wasn’t in a dream. “What?”
“You asked if you could move in, and I said you can.”
“Phew!” The voice next to him exclaimed. “The Almighty Dragon Lord, K’uhul Ajaw, is relieved— but surprised— to know my servant has friends he could go to for help.”
Mualani let out a giggle that for some reason made Kinich hold back what he was about to fire at his arrogant companion, that lucky bastard. He’ll let this slide just this once. “You know where everything is, and the room you’ll be staying in. Right?” she added, looking at Kinich to which he nodded.
“Thank you so much Mualani, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Because he actually doesn’t know.
“Awww, since when have you been this sweet?” The playful lilt present as she pouted exaggeratedly before bursting into laughter as she saw him roll his eyes at the remark.
Was moving into her house a good idea, when all you’ve been thinking about lately is ways to complain about this place? Probably not. But Mualani’s house was the best choice out of all his short-ranged choices simply because he knew this place by the back of his hand along with her routine and her as a person.
A nauseating feeling struck him immediately to his stomach as he advanced to the living room, then the kitchen and finally his old room in her house, basically making him reliving a year worth of memories, like the times when they’ve ignored each other for nights over an argument and shut themselves away in their respective rooms (or sometimes Kinich would return to his tribe), their fights over the dumbest things now that he thought back on it and many moments before she called it off.
And he can’t help but feel that he could’ve saved the relationship from falling, before it shattered into a million pieces and the mess all left behind to him. Just as how he blamed himself for his mother leaving and how little Kinich could’ve stepped in, and how he could’ve prevented his alcoholic-of-a-father’s death had he had just let him beat him up. It’s like he is destined to always mess up the relationships he cherishes.
If you were to ask him, the worst thing about all of this was remembering how it felt when Mualani was his. Albeit all the negative memories listed above, good times were certainly present in their relationship such as—
Stop. Desperately telling his thoughts to cease and desist for real, before it leads him to anything crazier than that. Mualani saw him in his weird state this whole time, looking him dead in the eye (for some reason) while sitting on the bed in his room, and he did not want to think about how stupid he might’ve looked just then as he stood there daydreaming.
“Good going.” For once, Ajaw knows how to whisper. Not that he appreciated his unnecessary comment.
He muttered some apologies to Mualani for getting distracted for whatever he’s missed before joining her to sit on the bed. She claims that nobody, including herself, has touched his room ever since he’s left. Yet, he noticed how organized and neat his room remained; there were no hints of dust anywhere and everything seemed like it was cleaned by somebody. The belongings he left behind arranged (not in the way he does it) neatly throughout the room and the picture frame of the young couple, you could tell they thought they’d last forever in the photo, hung up in front of the door and remained shining squeaky clean, just as they once were, and polished.
Mualani might’ve noticed his fixation of the picture. “Oh look, it’s us from years ago!” The other knew her too well to know that even though she sounded so casual as she commented on the photo, her tone had a hint of fondness and her mood pensive for a split second before returning to her signature happy-go-lucky smile.
“I miss the times when—“ he slapped a hand to his mouth as he realized what he was saying. This feeling is dangerous, making him lose control of his common sense sometimes. Exactly how he felt when he first fell in love with her. “Sorry I—“
“I do too.”
Uncomfortable silence filled the room as the words sunk into Kinich’s head. The persistent eye contact she’s trying to initiate sends his heart beating just as fast as it would during extreme sports.
Thankfully, his pixelated companion was there to break the silence. “Just make out alr— HEY!” Scratch that— Ajaw made it worse. Kinich raised a hand to slap him away and lock him away in his wristband, where his dungeon lies.
“Sorry about him.” He managed to cough out.
“Don’t worry about it; I’m used to it.” She smiles, as if it’s all a funny joke. “I’ll be making dinner, you can go shower and everything yadiyada— just let me know if you need anything! You know how it goes.”
He nods gently as he watches her walk out of the room, leaving him thinking about what happened a few minutes ago.
Ajaw makes it his life mission to make sure Kinich dies as soon as possible because of the contract they signed, where the beast becomes his companion and he gets his body in exchange when he leaves the world.
But lately, the beast would take every opportunity to embarrass him in all situations possible, especially around or about Mualani. The only person who is aware of Kinich’s feelings would unsurprisingly be Ajaw (unfortunately), perhaps even more than he is aware of his feelings himself.
He hates it. Hates the fact that he can never let go when it comes to her, even after years. And Ajaw might forever remind him of that.
He’s left with nothing but that to think about for the rest of the night.
…
“Ahaha, little Kinich is so cute!” Mualani pointed at the toddler photos of himself as Kinich’s cheeks turned red.
….
“That’s my mother’s manual script. If I ever find her again… I’d ask her what the ending is.” They both mulled over the cursive words on the parchment meticulously.
“Your mom seems like an excellent storyteller! Why don’t you make up your own ending, so next time you see her you can compare?”
“That’s a great idea.”
…
—“Your childhood sounded tough… I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it, it’s all in the past.” He dismissed the hand on his shoulder, at least tried to. “At least I will have a good future, especially with you.”
Her bright smile only made him more sure of his statement.
…
“Just what are we, Kinich? What do you really think about us?—“
…
A single teardrop escaped from his closed eyes, then rolled onto his cheek. In his unconscious, sleeping state.