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Enid entered our shared accommodations in a whirlwind of excitement, which was not unusual. She often would be nearly bouncing off the walls wishing to show me the latest affront to music made by Korean boy bands, highlights of her shark themed hockey team, or a video of an animal of some kind that she found cute. I found her passion about things I’d otherwise deem irrelevant, captivating. Though I would never admit that to her. The way she was always invested in her passions as if they were the most important thing in the world, the way she was animated and excited about them, the way she smiled, sunny and canid, which enraptured me and made me tractable to ensure that it stayed on her face.
She all but tackled me into a hug and a short kiss, which I reciprocated appropriately to. It had taken some time to become used to her need for constant affection after we began dating at the end of our first shared semester at Nevermore. But I had come to cherish it with time. Her kisses were mesmerizing, her hugs and warmth were invigorating, her love was inimitable.
“Wends, there is a Spirit Halloween in Jericho this year! We soooo have to go and get costumes and decorations!”
“What necessitates us acquiring low quality costumes and decorations?”
“Yoko and some of the other fangs are organizing a Halloween party this year. I’m going to do the decorating, and of course we need costumes for the party!”
“Why would I subject myself to being in a crowded space with obnoxious music and even more obnoxious teenagers?”
“Awww come on Wends, don’t be a Debbie downer! I thought Halloween would be your favorite holiday, it being spooky and all?”
“While there are a few Halloween themed films that I appreciate, I find the holiday pointless. What is scary about plastic skeletons and superhero themed cloth? It is just another ode to capitalism disguised as a holiday. Besides, there are far more terrifying holidays.”
“Like what? Día de los Muertos?” She asked, her surprise obvious.
“There is nothing scary about honoring the dead. It is unfortunate that we will be spending Día de los Muertos here, otherwise I’d show you how we Addams celebrate such a venerated day.”
“Well what do you consider a terrifying holiday then?”
“By my estimation Valentine’s day is the most terrifying holiday, due to the expectation of your partner, for intimate and meaningful experiences and gifts which in and of itself is difficult. Then factoring in the need to navigate interpersonal Morse code, as it is taboo to ask directly what they want, makes it clearly far more terrifying than fake cobwebs. Christmas falls into a similar sphere.”
Enid broke into a giggling fit immediately. It was a golden sound that I could listen to forever, even if it seemingly was at my expense. “You are so adorable Wednesday.”
I blinked dumbly at her, unsure how to react. “I do not understand why stating facts prompted you to level such a heinous accusation against me.”
She giggled more, before placing a kiss on my forehead. “Absolutely adorable!” She said through a grin. “Anyhow, I need a date to the party, and it’s not like I’d take anyone other than my girlfriend silly. Besides, it'll be fun, I promise!”
“While I know you are a woman of your word, I have serious doubts that even you could make such an odious event enjoyable for me.”
“As long as you aren’t a negative Nancy, you’ll have fun!”
“My name is neither Nancy nor Debbie, why are you referring to me as such?”
More giggling. “It’s just a turn of phrase. How about we go on Monday afternoon? Then we’ll have everything well before Halloween on Friday. I promise both the shopping and the party will be fun.” She asked it as a request, but it seemed to me to leave little room for negotiation.
“I will not purchase nor wear a costume.” I replied firmly, determining that I would be going to the shop with her regardless as she would not relent.
“Okay Wends.” She said, her bright smile masking something I couldn’t identify.
~~~
Enid had spent the rest of the weekend enthusiastically planning the decorations for the event and the costume she planned to wear, including a vexing amount of time away from me and in the company of Tanaka.
Her Halloween-related zeal continued to rise throughout Monday, culminating in her nearly vibrating by the time we arrived in the parking lot of the establishment, in an otherwise deserted strip mall.
“I do not understand why my presence is required for this. You have made extensive plans with Tanaka about the decor and costumes, why not bring her?”
Enid rolled her eyes. “Because she has other priorities to take care of such as getting food and drinks and coordinating the DJ. Besides, you're just being a sour Sam, it’s not like you don’t want to spend time with me.”
“We could be kissing instead of this, which would be a significantly more pleasurable way to enjoy our shared company.” I pointed out logically.
“You’ve really had a one track mind since the first time we made out.” She laughed.
“I must point out that you have not refuted my claim.” I evaded.
She rolled her eyes again. “This will be fun too! And if you behave, I’ll give you as many kisses as you want later.”
I deliberated for a moment about taking issue with the behave comment, but decided it was in my best interest to agree. “Your terms are acceptable.”
A wide grin spread across her face before she took my hand and pulled me forward.
A brightness I had only rarely had the pleasure to see seized her eyes, as her fervor and joy radiated off of her. A warmth that I did not know I could feel spread from my stomach and into my chest. I watched her, entranced, as she prattled on about costumes and decorations and displays as I followed her with the shopping cart. Her otherwise inconsequential words, intoxicating me with their passion, as she placed various items into the cart and checked them off of the list on her cellular device.
Enid stopped a moment before turning and holding a cheap plastic set of red supposed devil horns with a black halo towards me. “You’d look so cute in this!”
“I will not degrade myself in such a manner.” I replied automatically.
Her face fell and it felt like getting stabbed in the heart, but significantly less fun. Had it been anyone else, there would have been no further discussion of the matter, but of course it wasn’t anyone else. It was Enid, the person I intended to spend the rest of my time in this mortal realm with, and all of eternity after.
In the face of Enid, I found myself utterly and deliciously irrational. I had, since I first encountered this feeling in her blood soaked arms, wondered if this was what love was. If this irrationality was perhaps the defining feature of love. Irrationally allowing my carefully constructed defenses to fall to the wayside and allowing her to occupy the inside of my chest with my heart in her claws, at any moment able to shred it.
I had yet to reach any solid conclusion on the matter, but taking the ridiculous adornment and placing it on my head to see her smile return seemed like strong evidence for it. Her smile returned and the pain in my heart disappeared with it.
After a few more steps she stopped again. “Oooh these too!” She said, as she took an absurd pair of black wings off of the rack and pushed them into my hands.
I looked at them in confusion, the cheap fabric already threatening to disintegrate from simply being held.
“As I said when I agreed to this endeavor, I will not wear a costume.”
“It’s not a costume silly, it’s just a pair of wings and horns with a halo!” She said excitedly, the brightness in her eyes blinding. “You can wear them with that awesome leather jacket that you have, and I can do your makeup!”
“You are purposely distorting the meaning of the word costume, in a transparent attempt to deceive me.” I attempted, feeling my impending concession, feeling myself drawn to the irrationality once again.
“Is it working?” She asked, the smile that I loved so, unyielding.
It was of course, though I would never admit that to her or anyone.
“Nothing else.” I demanded weakly, as I took the item, knowing I'd fold to any subsequent requests as well.
As I put the wings on, her smile grew impossibly larger. Waves of joy from her crashed over me like tsunamis, before she leaned in, to place a quick kiss on my lips.
Despite us having kissed an uncountable number of times, this one was different. The thrill that seized my heart before twisting wildly in my stomach, as if I had ingested arsenic or belladonna. I, for the first time in that moment, understood my parents disgustingly over affectionate ways. Understood the power of a word or a touch or a kiss in ways that had previously eluded me. Emotions and feelings I had no experience of or words for, enveloped me.
She turned, seemingly unaffected by the life altering kiss she bestowed upon me. Before casually tossing a “Good girl.” Over her shoulder, and ending all higher functioning in my brain.
I watched her bounce down the aisle, as I stood completely stunned. She turned back to me, that grin still present, cocking her head inquisitively, “Ya coming?”
My feet and arms moved appropriately, as I took in this ethereally beautiful goddess before me. In front of an absurd display of branded plastic pumpkins, she shined brighter than a star or a quasar or anything known in our universe.
I watched, helpless in my own body as she acquired a silver, glitter ridden monstrosity labeled ‘Angel Costume’, with its own wings and halo. I followed her stupefied through the rest of the trip, which she didn't seem to mind. Every touch or smile directed towards me asphyxiated me, as she continued to shop.
By the time we had gotten in line, I had mostly recovered my higher brain function. Though, I was unsure if I would ever truly recover from the emotional damage she had inflicted upon me. I took the liberty of paying for the goods while she was distracted by another Nevermore student who was in line behind us, which earned me a squeal and effusive praise. The haul fit in only a few bags in the rather large shopping cart, Enid skipping along as I pushed it behind her out of the store.
She turned bouncing on her toes, as soon as we were properly outside. “Oooh! Cart ride! Cart ride!” She said, easily lifting herself into the cart, carefully avoiding crushing the purchases. I made no effort to stop her, simply holding the contraption steady, to ensure her safety as she reclined in the cart.
As I pushed the cart towards the bus stop, Enid admired the garish costume she had purchased, gleaming in the sunlight. My face twisted itself into an expression I was unable to control as I watched her.
She dropped her head back to look up at me, doing a double take before contorting herself to face me as fully as she could, shock evident on her face.
“You have dimples?!” She yelled somewhere between accusatory and awestruck.
I nodded, before forcing my face into its native neutrality.
A sparkle, a glow, a radiance that words failed to adequately capture exploded from her. “HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE DIMPLES!”
She proceeded to abandon her costume in favor of poking where the offending features would be on my face. I did not resist, once more dropping into the irrationality that seized my soul to ensure her happiness at any cost. To ensure the saccharine grin, that I would find disgusting on anyone else, stayed on her face.
When we reached the deserted bus stop she climbed out of the cart and draped herself over me, her arm around my shoulders.
“Did ya have fun?”
“I always enjoy our shared time together.”
She laughed. “Guess that's all I'm gunna get huh?”
I nodded, knowing that she had broken my own interpersonal Morse code. Knowing that I allowed her to do so.
“Well, just like I promised, you weren't a mopey Molly and you had a good time. You even smiled!”
“I have smiled in your presence before.”
“Not like that! I can't believe you didn't tell me you had dimples!”
“It did not come up. I will make it up to you during the kissing you promised.”
She laughed as she squeezed me tightly against her, before kissing me. Once more I was utterly captivated by her; the softness of her lips, the false peach flavoring of her lip gloss, the overwhelming emotions shared in the simple gesture.
I felt a level of calm I had previously never reached. A level of safety. A certainty that whatever our struggles, she would never mishandle my heart despite its precarious position in her claws.
I determined in that moment if those feelings were irrational then rationality was a moronic concept made by buffoons who had never experienced this feeling.
They never had the great fortune of loving and being loved by Enid Sinclair.