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Fuck..
Caitlyn's eyes widened, immediately feeling the ricochet of the gun in her hands. Not the typical ricochet however. Not the feeling when the bullet hit the carefully placed target, or the galloping deer. No. This was different.
Her heart was racing, nearby sobs the only sound breaking through the ringing in her ears. She didn't look back, the clang of her metal plated glove hitting the rickety ladder, unstable from years of unuse. That didn't matter to her, however, she couldn't bare to see the damage she had caused. Not the blood dripping to the floor, nor the crumpled image of Vi, clutching her stomach. No. Definitely not Vi.
Her heart tugged and pulled, growing a life of its own, pushing Cait to go back. She wouldn't listen. She couldn't. Being in a high status, she had never had to see the consequences of her actions like this. No, not the crying of the mourning families, not the choked last breath of a father. But then again, those people weren't those she was supposed to love.
Vi, however. Oh, Vi..
She had touched Caitlyn's heart in a way no one else had before. For a long while, she believed Jayce was the one she would love, the one she would marry. But that feeling never compared to the feeling when she was around Vi. Her touch soft in a way a man's never could, every finger placed with cautious care, scared, but brave. No.. she had no right to talk about Vi like that after what she had just done.
She was just so.. angry. Why wouldn't she be? Her mother had just been murdered, and she was seconds away from stopping it. This was all Jinx's fault. It felt so stupid that Vi was clinging onto Jinx so hard, the Jinx that Vi knows is gone after all. What was her name again?.. Po..Powder. Powder wasn't coming back, and it felt stupid that Vi was so latched onto the idea that she was still there.
She scoffs. What the hell am I thinking? Vi isn't the one in the wrong here.. I'm putting my anger on the wrong person. It was hard, however. The prejudice feelings running through her mind at every wrong doing. Jinx is in Vi's blood. If Jinx was able to kill her mother, then what can Vi do? Maybe mother was right. Undercity scum and all..
No. Caitlyn couldn't think like that any more. Not after Vi had done so much for her. She knew Vi was sensitive, no matter how much she fought. She was so easily manipulated, and it was hard not to take advantage of. She would do so much for Caitlyn, betray her people for me. But would Caitlyn do the same for her? No. She wouldn't.
Maybe She used to think she would, but not after what she had just done. She had fucked up, big time, and she knew it. But what was she supposed to do? Realistically, she knew Vi wouldn't leave her for this.. it was clear in her speech earlier. Her show of vulnerability, the promise she made Caitlyn keep. She sighs.
Since when were relationships so hard?
She needed to cool off. But she didn't want to lose Vi either.. This is all Jinx's fault. If she wasn't so crazy.. if that damn kid wasn't there. She wouldn't have missed the shot! She wouldn't.. She's a Kiramman after all.
That didn't matter though. She knew it was stupid, to force Vi into a situation like that, force her to jump towards my gun. Not only that, but to hit her for it afterwards.
Vi's sobs never seemed to quiet no matter how far Caitlyn got up the ladder. They seemingly echoed against every surface they possibly could, just to taunt and tease her. I deserved it, after all. What the hell was going on with me?
She knew she could never fully understand the horrors Vi had been through, especially during her time in stillwater. Caitlyn had seen lingering stories, bruises seemingly permanently etched into her most sensitive places, trained to hurt. Yet when she held Caitlyn, it seemed as if everything would be okay, solid arms placed in a protective manner that she was so desperate for. If only I could show Vi that love too..
The ringing in her ears had finally quit, leaving the blank echo of silence. Silence? She should've been able to hear Vi for a while longer..Fuck. She risks looking down, seeing nothing but a splatter of blood on the floor she had left behind.
"Vi!?"
She calls, but to no return. Her voice echoes through the tunnels, and suddenly she doesn't feel like Vi was the only one crying. Tears well in her eyes. What the fuck had she done? All that work building up a relationship.. just to fuck it up over some kid?
Caitlyn pulls herself closer to the ladder, resting her head on the cold metal of the bar. Her shoulders shake, pushing down the desperate need to sob. She couldn't allow herself. It should be Vi crying, not her. Maybe Vi was right, enforcers are all the same.
'Everyone in my life has changed, promise me you won't change.'
She cradled her face, her thumb running along that pretty tattoo, bold. A symbol of Vi's confidence. Suddenly that braveness meant nothing, as Vi's fear was exposed and out in the open, controlled by Caitlyn's reaction. She almost melted into the hand, her shoulders relaxing even slightly. The fears constantly running through her thoughts stopping for just a moment. Just a moment to see the care in Caitlyn's eyes. The genuine expression of something she had never felt before, something so pure and bright, but so weak and vulnerable. Something so easily tarnished, as they would soon learn. Vi let's out a breath, the flutter of Cait's hair making her realise how close the pair were. How close to something real.
They wouldn't learn until much later, alike most couples. Love wasn't unconditional, and it never will be.
For Vi, she learnt that crucial lesson when the back of that gun hit her. The symbol of the Kiramman family glistening in the light, the power. The power of her position in the world. The power of the gut punch to the stomach at the hands of someone she trusted so much.
For Caitlyn, she learnt that vital rule when she felt the anger bubbling inside her, uncontrollable, fueled by that sweet look in Vi's eyes. Every empathetic glance doing nothing but angering her. For a flash, those eyes were no longer Vi's, Jinx's teasing stare reflecting back.
'What about us?..
Oil and water. It wasn't meant to be.'
The rain had never felt that heavy, that cold, that exposing as it did on that day.
'Do yourself a favour, Cupcake. Go back to that big.. shiny house of yours. And just.. forget me.'
It could never be that simple, however. Before Vi, she was content. Why wouldn't she be? Good parents, wealth, a high status.. but there was always something missing, a void she had yet to fill. It was confusing, how she could have so much but still be so desperate for something more. Something she had yet to discover.
It clicked, however. When those lips locked with hers. Those 2 short pecks never enough for the pair. The woosh of air, the clash of metal on steps. A hand wraps around her waist, her hand reaching into Vi's hair. It was all so quick, but all so.. right. They fit perfectly, intertwined like it was meant to be. This is what she was missing.
The dip of that pretty scar on her lip, the raw feeling of the chewed inside of her pink tinted lips. All so human, all so raw. Even with Jinx's blood, she cared deeply like no one else. It was unknown to the pair how long they had latched together like that, becoming one, spit mixing with spit.
Even with such a divide between them, they mixed like thunder and lightning. Without thunder, there was no lightning.
A fact they had seemed to miss, however, seemed so crucial.
Thunder had never required lightning to thrive. To lit up a night sky, to create fear, to wake those from their peaceful slumber, to disturb. To cause a scene.