Chapter Text
To be loved sincerely was all Isolde had dreamed of for all her life. She was the star of Vienna, loved by everyone who came to her show, but it wasn’t sincere. She could feel their scrutinizing gaze directed at her every move, on stage and off stage. Their gazes filled with contempt when she was doing something not expected of her noble status.
If she laughed too loud, they would sneer and say how unladylike her behavior was. If she was late, her education as a noble lady would be questioned. If she had to take a break while rehearsing, she would be labeled as a spoiled and fragile brat of the social circle.
She could never win, and she already accepted this fact since she first stepped on stage. However, a naive part of her still hopes to be free from this shackle called nobility. To run away from all the expectation placed on her with her lover, like the character she always plays, to be loved enough to sacrifice everything for.
She had dreamed of a prince charming since she was a child. A knight on a white horse whisking her away and saving her. A woman that will love her no matter her hideous form. A kindhearted farmer who will travel through the treacherous forest just to save her from her tower. However, fairy tales weren’t real and she wouldn’t fall for a prince charming. She would instead fall for a kind doctor who saw through her facade and wished all the best for her.
Too bad this love isn’t reciprocated.
-x-
Pulling out a letter from the drawer, Isolde looked over the content one more time before putting it above her candle, letting it light up in a burning flame in her grasp. The letter burned brightly in her eyes and the ashes were blown away by the wind. The fire spreaded until it reached her hand, but she didn’t put it out. She looked on until the last of the letter was burned, until her gloves were charred. She walked to the washroom, running the fire under the cooling water.
The gloves were discarded on the sink, she put on a new set, the maids would take care of it. She put on her coat and walked out the door, pulling down her hat to shield her face from the sun.
Dear Isolde,
It is your brother, Theophil.
A name she deeply disliked.
I am writing to you now, dear sister, to ask you to attend this meeting with me and my friends.
Isolde was raised to be a noble lady, to be kind and understanding toward everyone. To look at the world as her own and to give back to her country. Theophil was raised as a son. He was given all the freedom she had to throw away. He was given the slack to pursue his useless passion while she had to follow her late mother’s footsteps.
He and his friends, in an art club, drinking tea, talking to ladies without a care in the world, without a single eye analyzing their every move. Isolde felt like a caged bird when she was next to Theopil. All of his friends who “values” art so much always try to meet her, and Theophil always complied because he had no spine to speak of. They treated her as a commodity, an item to be analyzed for their art study. What a sick joke. This meeting would not be different.
She is someone I think you will like very much. Heinrich spoke highly of her. Meet us at…
The cafe was much more packed in the morning, and this was the time Theophil thought would be best for someone like her to go to. She felt all the eyes on her, no matter, she was used to it.
“Isolde! Over here.” She heard him before she could see him. Her brother was standing, standing out from the crowd of seated patrons. She could see another familiar face at the table, Heinrich. An old childhood friend of theirs, he was a decent man. Isolde never felt anything more for him than “Theophil’s only friend”. She never saw those people her brother surrounded himself with as friends, a bunch of people seeing only her family’s influence and trying to take advantage of it.
She saw another person at the table, a woman adorned with a big green hat, her face obscured by the shade. The moment she got there, Theophil rushed to hug her, like he hadn’t seen her in ages. The waitress at their table looks around uncomfortably, shifting her weight around. Oh, she knew now. Her brother must have sweet talked her and she thought he was her prince charming.
Heinrich greeted her and pulled out her chair as a gentleman gesture. Isolde finally sat down and she could finally see her face properly. Instead of the usual polite smile she was given for formality sake, the woman had a wide smile on her face that crinkled her eyes.
“Hello, I’m Klara Vingler. Perhaps you have heard of the ‘Vingler’s Mirror’. That’s an invention of my family.”
A gloved hand reached out to her. The woman was leaning over the table, to the point of not being in her seat anymore. She might appear to be too eager, but the smile on her face was sincere. Isolde found it rather endearing.
“Heinrich told me a lot about you and your brother. I’m most glad that we’ve finally had the chance to meet.” Klara continued on, her smile not wavering from her face at all. Isolde clasped the outstretched hand and felt the warmth beneath the white glove.
“The honor is mine. I’m Isolde.” she replied, a hint of warmth making its way into her tone, “It’s a privilege to make your acquaintance.”
This defied her expectation. Would Ms. Klara becomes another face in the crowd too?
-x-
On a morning walk, Isolde heard a commotion. It was really rare for such a thing to happen too. The street was reserved for the wealthy and nobility, they cared too much about their reputation and image to cause such scenes.
She was curious so Isolde walked over to the sound of shouting. She stayed on the corner, seeing the commotion was from Ms. Hornberg’s house. She was about to walk back as the shouting stopped, but a flash of green out of the window caught her eyes.
That eye-catching green was recognizable to her everywhere. It was Ms. Klara, who insisted on being called Kakania, that her brother introduced her to before. The doctor landed on her feet like this was something she was used to. She ran out as a man walked out of the window shouting for his guards to stop her for “Bewitching my wife”.
The guards heeded his call and ran after the woman who was already disappearing from Isolde’s view. It seemed her feet worked as quick as her rambling on. Isolde heard rumors of Kakania on the street. A witch that bewitched married women to scam them. A troublemaker who caused wreckage in a happy family.
Isolde was never one to listen to such baseless rumors. She had first hand experience on how rumors could spiral out of control so easily. Kakania could just be acting out of society’s standard of what a “proper” woman is and they were trying to villainize her for her. Seeing her action today seemed to really affirm her thought. Kakania became more endearing to Isolde.
-x-
Another letter was delivered to her door by a maid. Isolde couldn’t tell who this was from. This type of paper was not something Theophil would use and the parrot stamp on the seal was not from a family she recognized. The maids were instructed to throw away any letters that were from her fans as well.
She took out her knife and cut out the seal, revealing the letter sealed inside. The handwriting was neat and it still smelled of ink, this letter must have been delivered right to her gate by whoever wrote it.
“Dear Ms. Dittarsdorf,
I am writing to you now to humbly invite you to an art exhibition in the next 2 days. You seemed really interested when we were talking about it last time so I took the liberty to buy an extra ticket in case you want to join us. I hope you can make it.
Sincerely,
Klara Vingler.”
Isolde’s hand automatically made its way to the candle flame before she pulled it back before it caught on flame. She left it on her bedside table and went to do her makeup. She had an appointment to go to after all.
Once she was done, she was about to step out of her room before walking back to her table and pulling her ink and paper out. She dipped the pen in the ink and tested it on another paper. Seeing the consistency she desired, she threw the paper and started writing a short letter.
“Dear Kakania,
It would be my pleasure to join you and Theophil at the art exhibitions. I am thankful for your thoughtfulness and I will be there at the agreed time.
Sincerely,
Isolde Von Dittarsdorf.”
How uncharacteristic of her, normally she wouldn’t even write back to letters asking for her replies, but she felt like she shouldn’t do that to Kakania even if she didn’t ask for one. She melted the wax and pulled out the stamp of her family crest, hidden in the nook of her drawer; it was never used after all.
She poured the wax down and stamped on it. Taking the letter to inspect it, she felt like it was missing something. She looked at the table, noticing her perfume. She knew some noble lady did this, although she never did it personally. She took it and sprayed it on the letter, now it smelled just like her.
Walking out of the room, she handed the letter to a maid walking by and instructed her to deliver it to “Kakania”, she was sure her maid would take care of it and see to it that the letter got delivered correctly. The Dittarsdorf family paid quite well after all.
-x-
The next two days flew by Isolde. She had rushed to finish her rehearsal during those days so she could free up today for the art exhibition. This was the first one she would be going to, she wasn’t sure if she was excited by the prospect of seeing new art or spending more time with Kakania.
During their talk in the cafe on their first meeting, Kakania managed to capture Isolde’s attention with her ambition. The way she talked about mental illness and her treatment of patients. It made her seem like a saint compared to what those boards of health suggest they do. A possible shock therapy to cure mental illness? Don’t make her laugh.
Kakania was so confident of herself and her ability, she made Isolde want to see more of her, to see more of what Kakania was made of. She had managed to spark a curiosity in Isolde that no one managed to do so in ages.
Isolde arrived at the square right before the art exhibition was about to open. This exhibition was held in a prestigious buiiding and Isolde could see many people were waiting outside to be the first one to be let in. Seeing the crowd made Isolde want to go back already. She wondered how Kakania managed to get tickets for it, let alone a spare one for her.
Standing right next to the crowd by her lonesome was Kakania, who was checking her pocket watch. Isolde could not see Theophil or Heinrich anymore. She must be the first one here. Isolde walked over to the anxious lady that was tapping her feet against the ground.
“Greetings to you, Ms. Kakania.” Isolde said, and the green lady jumped before she looked up and let out a sigh at the sight of Isolde.
Kakania put her pocket watch away, a smile brightened up on her face, “Ms. Isolde, I am very glad that you decided to join us.” She paused, her eyes were shifting left and right, she appeared to be nervous. “Unfortunately, Theophil and Heinrich both had some matters to attend to at the last minute, so it will be only the two of us today. I hope you don’t mind.”
Kakania’s smile became awkward as she looked nervously at Isolde. Isolde didn’t really mind, on the contrary, she was much happier to spend more time with Kakania instead. Isolde’s smile widened as she replied back, “Do not worry, Ms. Kakania. I find your company to be very pleasant. Let us go stand in the line now to go in?”
Kakania flushed from the compliment and she rummaged through her bag for the tickets. Isolde found it rather endearing how much Kakania became flustered with compliments. Kakania fished out two tickets from her bag and a fan. She handed the fan to Isolde as she held onto the two tickets, “The place inside might be a bit hot so you should take this just in case. Hehe, a friend of mine is an organizer of this event so we can go through the back door and skip the line.”
Kakania had a cheeky smile on her face as she started walking toward the back of the building with Isolde by her side. Isolde ran her hand over the fan and noticed how brand new it looked. This must have been freshly bought, whether it was specifically for her or not didn’t matter because a warmth had already appeared in her heart.
Once Kakania showed the two tickets to the employees at the back, they were let in without further obstruction. Once inside, the room was dark and there were boxes stacked messily on each other with how little Isolde could see. They must be in the storage area or something.
“Ms. Isolde, if I may hold your hand, I have been here before so I know the way. The area is rather messy, I am sorry about that.” Kakania asked and held out her hand, waiting for Isolde’s answer. Isolde chuckled under her breath. How could this lady be more thoughtful than all the gentlemen she had ever met? Isolde gladly took her hand and Kakania started to lead them slowly through the place.
Just like on the first day, Isolde noticed so quickly how warm Kakania’s hand really is, the warmth seeping through both of their gloves, making its way to her. She felt warm.
The walk was shorter than Isolde liked, she wished she could feel that warmth for much longer. Kakania pulled open the door and they were in the staff area. Most people there were running around, not many paid attention to them. Kakania turned back to smile at Isolde and they walked together to the main exhibition area.
Opening the door, they were greeted by a large hall filled with paintings and sculptures as far eyes could see. It seemed to have not opened yet judging by the lack of guests. Kakania pulled out her pocket watch to check the time and walked to Isolde’s side.
“We still have 10 minutes until guests will be let in. Let’s just take our time for now. Where do you want to go, Ms. Isolde?” Kakania asked, her head scanning the area to make sure there weren't any guests around.
Isolde turned back to look at her side, seeing the cute gesture from Kakania, “Just Isolde is fine, miss. I hope you can take the lead, this is my first time after all. I do not know where to start.” Isolde felt that Kakania should drop the formality with her now, she had a feeling that Kakania wouldn’t become just another face in the crowd.
Kakania’s smile widened, Isolde thought she looked like a cat that had just seen her favorite treat, “Then you can drop the title from my name too, I’m just Kakania. Hehe, let's start right from the entrance.” Kakania waved her hand to point at the door and started walking there with Isolde in tow.
The paintings there were straightforward enough that Isolde could understand the meaning of them the moment she laid her eyes on them. Kakania didn’t have a lot to say about them either. As they got deeper and deeper into the hall, Kakania started becoming more and more talkative.
Her enthusiasm was infectious, Isolde started to see the exhibited items as something more special like Kakania described them as well. At one point, other guests started to fill the hall, but Isolde barely even noticed them. All of her attention was focused on the only person in front of her who was talking so animatedly about her passion. She was less interested in the art, and more interested in engraving the voice of the person in front of her into her mind.
Isolde could see beads of sweat forming on Kakania’s face. She pulled out a handkerchief and started dabbing on her face. The latter instantly froze up on the spot and stopped talking, turning to look at Isolde who looked back in confusion. She let out an awkward smile and the tips of her ears turned red. She stayed still as Isolde wiped her face until she was satisfied and put the handkerchief back. Kakania turned back to the painting to continue talking and she felt a breeze hitting her face. Isolde was using the fan that Kakania gave her to fan Kakania instead of herself.
“Ah! You don’t have to do that, Isolde.” Kakania waved her hands in front of her, declining Isolde’s effort. Isolde only chuckled and shook her head, the fan still pointing toward Kakania.
“Nonsense, Kakania. You have been talking nonstop being a guide for me. This is the least I can do.” Kakania was about to fight back, but seeing Isolde’s smile, she felt like she shouldn’t. She let out a sigh and nodded dejectedly at Isolde.
“Thank you, Isolde.”
“It is my pleasure.”
-x-
They were now at a cafe, the one where they first met. Kakania was so dehydrated after talking for an hour nonstop by herself that on the way here she didn’t even say a single word. Isolde suggested that they go to get some drinks before parting ways and Kakania nodded without a single word, she couldn’t talk without her throat hurting.
They sat down and Isolde helped Kakania order her drink. As they waited, Isolde could start to feel the gazes of the people around them staring at her. She tried to ignore the murmers and the whispers that carry her name. It was harder to tune out people without the voice of Kakania’s to distract her.
Suddenly, Kakania loudly stood up from her seat, the chair creating a piercing sound from being scraped against the floor. Kakania slammed her hands against the table and a loud ringing sound reverberated through the place. The silence that followed was deafening.
“God, Isolde! Don’t you find it really funny that some people are so bored of their miserable lives that they have to talk every time something minor happens? I can’t believe these kinds of people actually exist, I thought they only exist in stories where the writer ran out of ideas.” Kakania said loudly, Isolde was sure that everyone in the building could hear it.
Kakania winked at her and sat back down, the chatter of people returned, but this time, Isolde couldn’t feel the gazes or hear the sneers from people at all. The waitress put down their orders and left without a word. Kakania quickly gulps down her tea in one go despite it being steaming hot.
Isolde could feel the rush of heat on her face, she could feel a sense of warmth enveloped her entire body. This was the first time someone stood up for her. The first time someone sensed her unease and tried to do something about it. She clasped the fan that Kakania gave her even tighter. The edges of the object digging into her skin, but all she could feel was affection for the person in front of her. Isolde smiled brightly at Kakania who returned hers with a sincere smile.
They made no mention of the event that just took place, only talking about the art exihibtion and any other topic Kakania thought of. Isolde nodded along and only said her own thoughts when Kakania prompted her to. She spent the majority of the time listening to Kakania and engraving every feature of hers into her mind.
Once they finished with their drink (Kakania had to order 3 more cups), they called the waitress over to pay their bill. Kakania insisted on paying for the both of them no matter what and Isolde didn’t really fight her over this.
They walked out, their bodies were so close that Kakania linked their arms together. Seeing no protest from Isolde, Kakania continued onwards. They had become fast friends. Isolde really likes Kakania. Kakania managed to charm her in just 2 meetings of theirs. It was not a bad thing though, her sincerity and protectiveness were defining traits of hers. Isolde doubted that many ladies would be able to resist being charmed by the lady next to her. No wonder she had rumors circulating around of her with married women. Isolde chuckled under her breath when she remembered the day she saw Kakania running.
Kakania insisted on walking Isolde back to her mansion as she wanted to ensure Isolde’s safety. It wasn’t like Isolde would get attacked in broad daylight, most that would happen is she got swarmed by her admirers. But Kakania still protested against her walking back alone and so Isolde conceded without any more fight.
They walked across a big puddle blocking Kakania’s way, Isolde stopped Kakania who was chatting away and looking at Isolde instead of the path forward. Kakania stopped in her tracks, she looked at where Isolde was looking and noticed the puddle.
“Kakania, let’s walk around it.” Isolde said, but Kakania only shook her head and disentangled her arm from Isolde. She hoisted up her skirt, took a step back, and deftly leaped over the puddle blocking her way. Isolde looked on in amazement. How could she forget Kakania’s infamous reputation? Of course, she wouldn’t care about such useless things. Isolde walked to the side and avoided the puddle.
Once she was across, she noticed a piece of stray hair was sticking out of place so she pulled off Kakania’s hat. Kakania was surprised, but she quickly understood when Isolde started fixing her hair, she even leaned down a bit so Isolde could have an easier time. Isolde patted down the hair until she was satisfied and put the hat back on Kakania. Kakania had a flush on her face that was still visible under the shade of her hat. Isolde smiled at her state and linked their arms together again. Kakania composed herself and they continued their walk to Isolde’s home.
“I didn’t think about jumping over the puddle like that. It is a little too… eye-catching.” Isolde said, their steps fell in rhythm as they walked together, the distance between them was close to zero.
“Well, maybe so.” Kakania replied back, her eyes sparkling beneath her round glasses, “Especially when we’re strolling arm in arm like this. A synchronized leap would look rather odd.” She chuckled at the end, her own joke making her laugh. The sound of her laughter was high and airy and Isolde quickly found herself really liking it.
“But it makes a lot of sense when you’re escap–ahem, running.” Kakania caught herself, before she slipped up, “Of course, if you’re running down the street, a jump will make you no more eye-catching than you already are. But if you are in a hurry, you’ll be leaving the sight of others before you even notice that they’re staring at you.”
Isolde thought for a second, “Ah, like when you ran out of Ms. Hornberg’s window?” She giggled under her breath.
“Yes, just like–what?!” Kakania turned to look at the woman to her side whose face was full of amusement. She didn’t know she was caught in an act like that. She covered her mouth with one hand, her eyes wide with surprise, “H-How did you know that? I thought no one living on that street knew of me!”
Isolde’s laughter got louder, just enough for Kakania to hear it clearly, “Hah hah! You should pay better attention to your surroundings, Kakania.” It had been a while since she laughed loudly like this, she couldn’t even remember the last time she did so.
Their walk was peaceful, no one even bothered them. Maybe seeing Kakania with her deterred some of her admirers from bothering her like they usually do. It was over faster than she liked, they had already arrived at the gate of her mansion.
Isolde said goodbye to Kakania and hummed a tune to herself all the way back to her room. It was rare for her to be in such a good mood. She put the fan Kakania gave her into the drawer, taking care to place soft things around it so it wouldn’t get damaged. She pulled out the letter that Kakania had sent her a few days ago and looked at the green parrot on the seal and thought to herself how fitting it is for Kakania to use a parrot as her personal stamp.
A warmth enveloped her being as she thought about what had occurred today. She felt something tickling the back of her throat. She coughed and the feeling was still there. She called for a maid to bring a cup of tea for her, after drinking it, she still felt it in the back of her throat. Well, it was only a minor annoyance, it would go away with time.
Oh how wrong she was.
-x-
The first time that Isolde coughed out a red petal, she was confused. As bizarre as the world was, she was sure coughing petals wasn’t something common. It was not like she could ask anyone about it, there would be rumors circulating around her in no time. So she pulled out an empty box and put the red petal in it, stuffing it in her personal drawer backstage, completely forgetting about it as she made her way to her appointment with Kakania.
Kakania had become a constant presence in Isolde’s life. The locals know that there was a high chance that if they saw Isolde out and about, there was a high chance Kakania would be nearby. Isolde and Kakania were joined at the hip.
She had finished her rehearsal early just so she could rush to meet Kakania. The red petal she coughed out was not any of her concern, her meeting with Kakania was more important.
Arriving at the park, she saw the green outfit she learned to dearly love. Kakania was sitting on a bench. Just in time, Kakania turned to where Isolde was.
A bright smile lit up on her face, Kakania got up from the bench and ran toward Isolde. Isolde couldn’t help reciprocating the smile and she started walking to meet Kakania in the middle.
“Isolde! You are early.” Kakania said when they were standing face to face. She looked down at the cotton candy in her hand and handed it to Isolde, “Here, I got this for you. You said that you never had street food before and I walked past this stall earlier so…” Her voice got quieter and quieter toward the end. When saying it out loud, Kakania realized this is somewhat childish to give to a lady of Isolde’s status.
Isolde smiled and took the candy from Kakania’s hand, biting into the sweet cloud. She didn’t realize that something she mentioned in passing would be remembered by Kakania. The fluffy cloud in her mouth tasted sickeningly sweet, she wasn’t sure if it was supposed to be this sweet. Her face felt hot and there was a rush of excitement that ran through her body.
Kakania smiled sweetly at Isolde and they linked their arms together as they walked to their destination.
-x-
Once in her room, Isolde coughed out another petal. It was red like before, she couldn’t discern what type of flower this is, she was never a big fan of them. She placed it in her drawer, reminding herself to retrieve the box from the theater soon and looked into it. The letter from Kakania and the fan given by her entered her vision, she unconsciously smiled to herself. There was another lump in her throat, she ordered the maid to bring her a cup of tea.
The cup was swiftly delivered to her, but it didn’t help. She coughed and it felt more painful than before, her throat felt parched. Whatever was in her throat, she guessed it was another petal, didn't want to come out. She started singing, on her highest note, she suddenly had a violent coughing fit. The petals finally came out, there were multiple this time. Her throat hurt and she didn’t have the strength to continue anymore. She placed them all in her drawer. It was becoming something more than a minor annoyance.
-x-
At night, when the critters had said goodbye to the world and the moon had made its place in the sky, something knocked against her window. Isolde wasn’t asleep yet, she was instantly alarmed. She was busy these past few days, she didn’t even have time to visit Kakania. She had been staying at the theater until late to practice and now she was looking over her lines.
She was on the second floor of the mansion, not to mention the tight security of her place. She brought the gun she had hidden in the drawer and went to the window. There were trees surrounding her property which would make for the perfect hiding spot. She opened the window, surveying the ground, nothing was there. She saw a shadow dashing through the tree and she started taking aim.
“Isolde!” The all too familiar voice stopped her before she could shoot. She put down the gun, and Kakania's figure walked out of the shadow of the tree. She let out a sigh of relief. Kakania waved happily to her. Her giant green hat was gone from her head and Isolde could see her entire face.
“Woah! You even know how to use a gun. I hope you don’t mind me being here?” Kakania laughed sheepishly. Who trespasses someone’s property and then asks them? Kakania thought to herself. She didn’t think this far ahead. She wasn’t even sure she could get past the security in the first place. This was a spontaneous decision. Illich and some other locals were hosting their own event celebration today. She wanted to bring Isolde along, but the security guard really didn’t let her in since it was night time already.
Isolde put the safety back on and threw it on the bed. “Kakania? What are you doing here?” She shouted back, hopefully the maids and butlers wouldn’t hear them. This made Isolde feel like they were two lovers running off behind her parent’s back. Kakania looked around before she walked closer to Isolde’s window.
“Can you–Actually no, can I come up?” Kakania asked shyly, her hand scratching her cheek in embarrassment. Isolde was curious and amused, but she nodded nonetheless. Kakania smiled brightly and dropped her bag, running back to climb on the tree. Isolde laughed silently at the display. Kakania smiled sheepishly when she finally managed to put her feet steadily in Isolde’s room.
“Um, there is an event being hosted by the local community. I thought you might… like to go.” Kakania asked, scanning Isolde’s face for her reaction. Isolde smiled happily, a lump formed in her throat. She knew that a petal wants to come out right now, what unfortunate timing.
Isolde had told Kakania that she was never one to join a lot of festive events, she wanted to, but her family never let her. Isolde felt her face get hotter, she hoped the blush wasn’t as visible on her pale cheek, “I would love to.” Kakania brightened up visibly from her reply. Kakania extended her hand out and Isolde took it, the warmth seeping into her.
Isolde coughed, her throat felt uncomfortable. Something was lodged in there, the petals. “Will there be people downstairs?” Kakania asked, Isolde thought for a moment before nodding. Kakania let out a sigh and walked them both to the window she got in with.
“I hope you don’t mind the rough exit.” Kakania let go of her hands and jumped down. She landed on her feet perfectly, she was really used to this. Kakania dusted off her outfit and looked up again at Isolde. Isolde cocked her head in confusion and Kakania waved Isolde down. Isolde wasn’t sure that she could land as safely as Kakania, but she trusted Kakania would catch her.
She jumped down and with her eyes closed, she felt the impact before she could see it. Her body landed on something soft, but it still hurt a bit. She opened her eyes and saw herself laying on Kakania who broke her fall. Kakania must have absorbed most of the impact. Isolde was petrified and instantly got up to help Kakania.
“Oh dear, I am so sorry, Kakania. I–” Kakania laughed, interrupting Isolde, “Haha, don’t worry, Isolde. I was the one that failed to catch you. I am fine, see?” Kakania spun around, showing off to Isolde. Isolde let out a sigh, relieved. However, it was short-lived as Kakania stopped midway and a painful grunted escaped her mouth.
Isolde noticed that, she understood now that Kakania was trying to make her feel better. Kakania must have gotten injured. The lump in her throat got heavier, she found it harder to breathe. “You are hurt somewhere, aren’t you, doctor?” Isolde walked closer, looking straight into Kakania’s eyes. Kakania awkwardly smiled back, but she didn’t confirm or deny it.
Isolde knew that Kakania won’t admit to it so she decided to drop it. Isolde smiled sincerely, putting up her hand, silently asking for Kakania’s. Kakania lost her awkward smile and smiled widely as she took Isolde’s hand enthusiastically. She picked up her bag from the ground and walked closer to Isolde, their shoulders brushing.
She leaned next to Isolde’s face and whispered, “Don’t tell anyone, but the lock of the gate of the backyard is not working.” Kakania chuckled and Isolde couldn’t help, but to laugh along. They started walked, the moonlight lighting the path ahead. The scene felt like two lovers running away to be together, Isolde smiled brightly at the thought.
-x-
The scene wasn’t one Isolde was familiar with before. There were street stalls everywhere, the street was lightened up by the rope light, people were bustling from left to right, it was so noisy, but it didn’t feel hostile. Kakania walked into her view, her smile was soft. “C’mon, let's walk around.” Her tone was tender, her voice was gentle, her hand led Isolde through the crowd.
Isolde could feel the gazes on her, but none were judging her. It felt curious, asking themselves “What is she doing here?” But she still disliked whispers with her name in them. She got closer to Kakania, her warmth was soothing. Isolde coughed against her will, the lump in her throat made its presence known to her again. She had been holding it in, but she didn’t know how much longer she could do it. They walked past the crowd and came to a clearing with a bench. Kakania led Isolde to sit on it.
“You have been coughing for a while. I’ll go get you something to drink.” Kakania said, Isolde wanted to follow, but she knew that the flower really wanted to come out. She couldn’t explain such a thing to Kakania. She nodded and Kakania walked back into the crowd. She coughed again, looking around to see if anyone was looking at her. No one was around.
She turned to the wall, her hand on her mouth, she coughed and coughed. She was trying to make it come out before Kakania came back. It felt like something was restricting her lungs, she couldn’t breathe properly. She gasped and tears stung her eyes. Finally something got passed her throat and Isolde coughed out the object in her mouth. It was another petal, it was an orange petal. She couldn’t stare at it for long before she could hear footsteps coming closer.
She wiped at her eyes, erasing any trace of her tears. She looked back up at the sound, Kakania was coming closer to her, holding two cups. She pressed and hid the flower petal into her glove, only Kakania mattered right now.
-x-
It was night, the full moon was out, the breeze was cold and Kakania was just being a gentlewoman with the way she pulled off her coat to give to Isolde who was weak to the cold.
And then they walked along the river, and people became more scarce as their footsteps became louder. They reached a secluded spot and as the air around them got quieter, Isolde spoke up.
“Have you ever danced before?”
Isolde turned her head toward Kakania, only to see Kakania darting her eyes back and forth, like she was caught doing something she shouldn’t. Isolde laughed silently to herself, Kakania was very shy in certain situations even if she always carried herself with such confidence. Kakania scratched her cheek and let out a giggle as she answered back.
“I have never danced before, only noble ladies would be taught the etiquette of ballroom dancing. Besides, it isn’t my thing.”
“Would you like to dance, Kakania?” Isolde stopped, so did Kakania. Isolde looked up at Kakania and waited for her answer with a tender smile. This was such a spontaneous action from her, but Isolde didn’t know if there will ever be a time she could dance with Kakania.
“D-dance? with you? I would make a fool out of myself, haha. We don’t even have music here.” Kakania laughed awkwardly, she never got asked to dance before, especially ballroom dancing. She felt embarrassed, even more so when Isolde looked at her with such a smile.
“It is okay, it is just for fun. Let me lead the dance and you can follow my step.” Isolde held out her hand and who was Kakania to say no to this beautiful lady asking her for a dance?
They started off stiffly, Kakania was never this close face to face with Isolde before and it felt really intimate. Her steps were awkward and Isolde let out a giggle whenever she messed up. As the dance progressed, they got more and more in tune with each other. There was no music, only the two of them under the moonlight dancing to the sound of their own heart beat. Isolde felt at peace, no matter if the petals in her throat hurt.
The dance ended and so did the intimate moment they shared. Isolde felt like her feelings for Kakania were becoming something uncontrollable. Whenever she tried to stop it from spilling out of her chest cavity, it escaped her grasp and started to flow further and further away. The tide of her feelings felt so strong, she felt like she was going to drown in them. She never felt this way toward someone before.
The lump in her throat got more and more uncomfortable. Kakania’s flushed face returned to normal as she offered her hand for Isolde to take again. This felt like a routine already, one that they had done for years, but in actuality, it was not. They started walking again. Isolde looked at Kakania who was staring straight ahead.
Kakania, do you feel this way too?
-x-
In her room, in the confinement of her own space where no eyes would peer at her, Isolde collapsed onto the floor, her coughs becoming louder and louder. Tears stung her eyes and flowed down her face. Yellow petals came out of her mouth.