Chapter Text
Hinata swung his legs. He was currently sprawled on a bed, resting on his stomach. The boy pressed a few buttons on his phone. A few moments later, he sighed dramatically, clearly trying to pique someone’s interest.
That someone was Kageyama. The setter decides to ignore him, in favor of glaring at his homework, as though it had killed his family.
Hinata tries again, but to no avail. However, this was Shoyo Hinata. He would not go down without a fight.
The boy continued to sigh repeatedly, his eyes digging into Kageyama’s back, like a dagger. Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me, talk to me... With each breath, it came out more theatrical. This meant taking deeper and faster breaths, which resulted in a constipated-looking Hinata. He was beginning to feel light-headed.
Kageyama finally admitted defeat. “What?” He snapped, scowling at Hinata.
The boy smugly grinned at him. “That’s one more win for me~!” He sang, chippy.
“What? That doesn’t count!” Kageyama objected, indignant. “I only gave in because you were beginning to look like death itself! It was a safety concern–”
“Uh-huh . Whatever helps you sleep at night, Kageyama-kun~”
Kageyama shook his head, “Did you waste three minutes of my life just for this?” He asked, unamused.
“Wait no–” Hinata shot up, suddenly serious. “–I actually do have something to talk about.” Kageyama doesn’t interrupt so he continues, “It’s about Kenma and Kuroo-san.”
“What about them?”
“They’re both sappy and gross with each other and it’s so frustrating!” Hinata huffed, his face scrunched up.
“Uh-huh, I see,” Kageyama replied non-commitably. He was currently preoccupied with attempts of balancing his schoolwork on top of his volleyball.
“You're not even trying to pretend like you're listening to me.” Hinata grumbled, glaring at the setter. Then, he flopped back onto Kageyama’s bed, staring at the ceiling. “I just don’t get what the problem is! They obviously like each other, but Kenma won’t believe me. I told him that Kuroo-san literally looks at him as though he created volleyball itself. Kenma said that I was being delusional, and if I want to give advice, to go ‘fix your situationship first’— I don’t even have a situationship!” He took a deep breath to recover from the rant. “I wish they would just confess to each other already. I just don’t get it .”
Kageyama rolled his eyes. A smirk slowly stretched across his face. “Well, of course you wouldn’t understand.”
Hinata rolled his head to the side of the bed, glaring at Kageyama. “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean, Bakayama?!”
“I’m just saying that if it was you in Kenma’s situation, I doubt you’d be able to confess to your crush,” Kageyama explained, as though it was obvious.
“And who made you the great relationship expert?” Hinata shot back.
“Well, I am going to confess soon.” Going to confess to my mom about her broken vase, that is. They’re both confessions though, so it’s basically the same thing.
Hinata gaped at him, speechless. “You are?” He screeched. Then, he threw his arms back, appalled. “There’s no way I’m letting you beat me.” He sat up, then declared passionately, “I’m going to confess to my crush first!”
For some unknown reason, hearing the sentence made Kageyama feel sick. It was probably the self-made bento Hinata shared with him at Lunch. Curse that guy’s terrible cooking skills.
In response, Kageyama simply grinned cockily, “ Hah! Good luck with that. I’m definitely winning, though.”
Hinata huffed and said, “We’ll see about that,” before leaving his house.
It was only when Hinata finally left that Kageyama realized how fucked he was. So there he was, running out of his house in his best disguise (a shady black outfit). He raced around, looking for the poor person that dealt with all of his life problems.
He tailed the said person skillfully; sliding behind the walls of buildings, and blending in with nature. In other words, he was undetectable– truly one with the trees–
“Tobio-chan, what the fuck are you doing ?” came the fed-up voice of Tooru Oikawa. He quickly stormed in front of him, with an amused Iwaizumi at his side.
“W- w- who is that?” Kageyama answered with utmost confidence. His mask was quickly ripped off of his face. “...hi Oikawa-san, Iwaizumi-san. Um, how’s your day?” He greeted awkwardly.
“Do not ‘how’s your day ’ me, after you followed me around like a stalker for a solid ten minutes.” Oikawa spat, glaring at Kageyama. “People are going to think I have an obsessed stalker, and all the girls will be scared off!” He cried dramatically.
Iwaizumi snorted, “Nice one, Shittykawa.”
Oikawa huffed in response, “this is why nobody hangs out with you other than me.” After a beat, he adds, “And I only do it out of pity.”
“Oh, so Mattsun, and Makki just don't exist,” Iwaizumi replied dryly. Oikawa retorts something, but Iwaizumi doesn’t deem him a response. He simply shook his head fondly.
After multiple unsuccessful attempts of Oikawa trying to get rid of Kageyama, he finally gave up, acknowledging Kageyama’s existence. “So, Tobio-chan, what cursed us with your presence today?” He asked, his lips curved into an utterly forced smile.
“Oh, right.” He took a few moments to word his sentence politely, before giving up. “How did you and Iwaizumi-san figure out your feelings for each other?”
Oikawa’s grumpy expression quickly fell into a dumb-founded one. Iwaizumi stared off at the distance wistfully, absolutely done with life.
Oikawa made a choking sound, “ What?! ” He exclaimed. “Why–” He sounded a couple keys higher than usual. “I’m not– I’m not dating Iwa-chan! Why would you think that!?” He looked genuinely appalled. “I’m way too much of a beauty for his grumpy ass.”
“Watch carefully, Kageyama-kun. This thing–? It’s called a delusion,” Iwaizumi said in a patient voice.
Oikawa huffed, and turned around to grumble away. “Anyways, what even made you think I was . . . romantically involved with this guy?” He uttered the words through gritted teeth.
Kageyama stared at them, confused. “You have nicknames for each other, you flirt each time you meet, and even if you aren’t together, Oikawa-san always manages to mention Iwaizumi-san–”
“Oh really? I didn’t know I was that important to you.” Iwaizumi smirked at Oikawa smugly, but his grin quickly fell off when Kageyama continued.
“Iwaizumi-san is always looking out for Oikawa-san, even if he tries to hide it— it doesn’t really work by the way. The entirety of our old team knew. Kindaichi thought you two were married when we were younger.”
Now it was time for Oikawa to grin, “wow, Iwa-chan, such a caring wife you are~” He says in a flirtatious voice.
“We aren’t fucking marri– wait, why the hell am I the wife?!”
“See!” Kageyama pointed out, “Flirting!”
The two flushed red. An awkward silence filled the atmosphere for a couple of seconds, before Oikawa broke it.
“You are so mean sometimes, Tobio-chan,” Oikawa said, frowning. Even though he looked fairly composed compared to the beet red Iwaizumi beside him, Kageyama could see the slight flush on his face. “I didn’t even get to confess to Iwa-chan before you ruined it.”
Kageyama’s eyes widened at the same time as Iwaizumi.
“Wait, wait– the fuck do you mean confess?!”
“I’m sorry, Oikawa-san – I just thought—”
“Oikawa, this is not funny. I am going to feed your alien plush to my dog—”
“YOU WILL NOT DO THAT TO URSA MAJOR THE THIRD–”
“I never wanted to ruin your confession! I just need to beat Hinata.”
Almost immediately, the chaotic bickering halted. “Wait, what does any of this have to do with chibi-chan?” Oikawa asked, his love for gossip, taking over.
“We made a bet, and whoever confesses to their crush first wins,” Kageyama quickly blurted. “But I don’t have a crush, and I told him I did. So now I have to confess to a person that doesn’t exist!”
Iwaizumi furrowed his brow. “But…you do have a crush?” He asked, almost hesitantly. “Don’t you two lik–” A hand clamped over his mouth. Iwaizumi glared at the offender.
A sparkling Oikawa met his eyes and grinned, “Let the kids realize it themselves Iwa-chan,” He said, looking awfully sweet. A beat later, he added, “I want to see Tobio-chan realize what a fucking idiot he was.”
“ Shittykawa ,” Iwaizumi muttered, smacking the back of Oikawa’s head, gently.
“Anyways! It’s our first time giving out love advice as a couple, Iwa-chan. You should be more happy,” Oikawa sing-songed, grinning at the way Iwaizumi immediately started sputtering. He turned to Kageyama, completely ignoring Iwaizumi’s threats. “So, Tobio-chan, my advice is to think about each person in your life, and whether you feel differently about any of them.”
When Kageyama looked confused, Iwaizumi pitched in, “Let’s use your team as an example, okay? You probably like all of them, but maybe, you especially like… let’s say Hinat–” he immediately paused at the absolutely disgusted expression on Kageyama’s face. “...Let’s say you especially like Kinoshita- kun . And you feel differently about him. Maybe he makes your stomach flutter, or something.”
“Or maybe he bickers with you all the time , and you should hate him, but you find yourself weirdly enjoying it~” Oikawa pitches in unhelpfully. Iwaizumi scoffed at his side, with a knowing smile.
Essentially, Oikawa’s advice should not have been helpful.
Essentially .
Kageyama was now back home, flopped onto his bed peacefully. He stared at his ceiling, ignoring the unfinished homework that sat beside him. He thought about Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s advice.
One particular teammate fit all of the criterias.
However, it wouldn’t make sense for his crush to be that one particular teammate.
After all, how could Kageyama like him ? He was short. And annoying. And too bright for this world (in terms of personality– definitely not intelligence.). And needy. And god knows he was difficult as fuck. He was Shoyo Hinata.
Kageyama liked Shoyo Hinata.
He let out a frustrated scream into his pillow.
…Goddammit .