Chapter Text
I'm starting to think if I'm really that dumb.
Maybe not dumb, idiot then? Well ain't that the same... or worse. All these time I’m trying not to acknowledge it, or taking it personally, I just be myself and working hard. Most people, like Kuroo-san is really nice, though, his close friend I admire, Kenma-san... We only talked briefly, I can't say much.
But this, this one third-year senpai, Yaku-san...
"Ouch!"
A volleyball that forceful has to crush my mid-day contemplation, also my neat hair style. When I turn my head to the source, it is that person, the same person that was just on my mind seconds ago.
He walks closer to me, menacingly, is he not in a good mood? I then get up from the bench, almost terrified, I move away and give him all the space to walk.
My eyes that keep tailing on him then realize that he just wanted to pick up the ball, shoot why didn't I pick it up first!
"S-sorry!!" I say as looking at his back. No answer I hear until he left completely.
So that’s 'that' senpai, that... How should I put this? ... He is very smart, talented, and he tutored me sometimes, but sometimes I feel he is too smart I can't be comfortably dumb around him?
Well, sometimes he kicks me, but he wouldn’t actually hate me... right? Oh, what am I even thinking?! But if that’s true...? All this time, has he been trying to tell me that he doesn’t like me? Or to tell me that I’m beyond stupid?! Am I just too dense?
If I avoid him and act like I can be alright all by myself, isn’t that even dumber?! Maybe I can’t improve my skills and techniques in one day to change his opinion of me, but if it’s my behavior? Can I change it? Oh, I’m having this sudden breakthrough because of him. Thank you, Yaku-san!
...
"Are you feeling well today?"
I only nod gently as an answer for Kuroo-san.
"You're sick ain't you?" Kuroo-san shows the disbelief on his face.
I stand still, barely moving at the side of the court. Usually I would be overreacting at this moment and begin to show how physically fit I am, but not this time. "What makes you think so Kuroo-san?”
"You're incredibly quiet."
That’s right Kuroo-san! Glad to hear that you think I’m quiet. "Oh yeah, that's okay right?"
Kuroo-san frowns at me, "not okay, Yaku should know about this." Then he sweeps a hand across my right shoulder.
Why does Yaku-san have anything to do with this?! Well it was because of him that I’m like this… No, not entirely though. It's just something that has to happen.
I don’t think the shift of my behavior will be affecting my peformace, hell, even I think I'm doing better now I—
Shoot! I accidentally pushed someone behind me, it was quite forceful I heard a loud thud...
Yaku-san! I turn my head back just to find him defeatedly sitting on the floor. Oh what do I do? I wasn’t concentrating!
"I'm sorry, are you alright, Yaku-san?" I say comprehensively while offering him a hand.
But what, he ignores it... And just stares me, sharply.
...
Days have changed to a week, and I realized Yaku-san never hit me again. So the plan works?! It was my stupidity after all. Oh maybe I’ve improved too! I'm surprisingly happy because of how this turned out.
Also with that, Yaku-san never spoke to me again, or simply interracting with me, I’m starting to feel like I'm losing a friend… Did we just never have the opportunity for that? He couldn't be distancing himself from me...
But, like a scratch to an itch, I’m paired with Yaku-san in the gym today. Just the usual stuff that I need to help him with his reps and he does the same for me in return.
I know it’s going to be unavoidable to not look Yaku-san in the eye during this activity, so I pull the least-dumb move by keeping a straight, almost-cool expression the whole time. Just don’t think about anything funny! I know he’d hate the idiocy of my smile. We exchange words only when necessary and when other people are around.
Time has passed and almost everyone has left, I'm getting to pack my belongings and intend to leave as well. Today was also good, the training went well. Everything worked well!
"Lev."
That recognizable voice from behind, I turn back only to get a confirmation that it’s Yaku-san.
"What is it, Yaku-san?"
“I am sorry." He bows down right on the spot, directly in front of me, perfect 90 degree angle. I couldn’t even guess what he was going to say, and now?!!
I reach out to him, almost touching him by the shoulder, wanting to straighten him up, I should be gentle. I spread a thin line of smile on my face, "what is it for, Yaku-san?"
Yaku-san is unmoved. He doesn’t want to see me but that cold floor, I can’t see his expression but his soft colored hair.
"If you feel in any sort of way that I hurt you, I apologize."
WHAT??!! I still can’t grasp the situation??!
"You’ve never hurt me or I feel so, it's fine Yaku-san, please—"
"Then cut that out." He looks up to me now.
"I should what–?"
"Just quit acting so cool like that!"
I immediately claw a hand on his shoulder, "Was I really cool?!” I can't hold back my enthusiasm.
“That’s not the point!!”
I get back to the cooler me, part myself from him and start to asking seriously. "So why you're telling me to stop that?"
"It makes me think if I did something to you that I changed you..."
Though it sounds almost like the truth but there’s not in any way that I say that, "Do you think I’m dumb, Yaku-san?"
"You can be a little silly, I like it sometimes– I mean I’m fine with it.." There’s a shift in his firm expression, he darts his gaze away slightly
"So you don’t hate me?"
"That's supposed to be my question!" He almost yells.
"Eeeh??!" Were we thinking the same thing all these times?!! My face is still in disbelief.
"That was what I thought when you were quiet." Yaku-san then stares at me on both eyes, looks determined, and he crosses his arms on the chest. "So we're cool, okay?"
I shake his shoulder instinctively, “Yaku-san you're so cool!!"
Oh this is getting too much! I quickly pull my hands back before he kicks me... But he doesn't seem like he's going to.
"Should we head back?"
"Sure!"
We're walking side by side.
.
.
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