Chapter Text
The alarm goes off at precisely 7 o'clock, Castiel stands in a corner of the motel room where Sam and Dean are sleeping. While they were asleep, he went out to watch the sunrise half an hour ago and for some time he forgot where he was and what he was doing. It's late November and he is happy to witness the first snow in Boston. He has learnt by now that Dean gets scared when he wakes up and sees him, Castiel doesn't understand why because he knows he's here but he tries his best not to scare him.
So, he watches from the closest corner as Dean wakes. He hears Sam shuffling on the other bed and turns off the alarm, he can see in the dark as the boy sits up and sighs.
It's interesting to see that Dean does not move and simply groans in despair at the idea of getting out of bed, Castiel could never understand the desire he has to sleep. It takes him so long to do so as well, it is such a waste of time.
However, watching Dean sleep is most entertaining. He plays back the night he has just spent watching over Dean and smiles faintly, Castiel knows that Dean falls asleep very quickly because he is always exhausted though he doesn't show it. It happens that Dean wakes up in the middle of the night slightly panting and sweating, possibly from a bad dream. But luckily it didn't happen last night, and he has a habit of tossing and turning quite a lot, often one of his feet hangs from the bed and it's always the right one that slips from the covers. Dean also sleeps with socks, Sam doesn't (though he wishes he did because he has smelly feet). This morning, Dean is more sleepy than usual, Sam is already dressed up and the older boy has fallen back asleep a couple of minutes ago.
“Good morning Cas.” Sam greets, he opens the curtains which does not seem to bother the sleeping boy.
“Hello, Sam. It's snowing today, did you know that snowflakes have many different shapes? It depends on the temperature and moisture levels of the cloud from which it falls. Actually you can even find two different snowflakes at the same time even though they are not from the same cloud.” Castiel does not move from his spot, he glances over at Dean multiple times while saying this, not caring much if Sam is listening or not.
“Mhm, thanks for the lesson on snowflakes Cas, how about you get us some coffee?”
“By some, how much coffee do you mean? A cup, two cups or a bowl?”
Sam sighs in response and Castiel just frowns but then he forgets their conversation immediately as Dean stirs and reaches to rub his eyes.
Castiel feels his vessel's heart beating faster and faster and it feels strange so he tries to ignore it even if the sound of it is unnecessarily loud. Instead he focuses on Dean who now sits up slightly in his bed, without slipping out of the covers, his hair is messy even if it's quite short it looks all over the place and his face looks slightly ‘swollen’. Castiel has noticed humans do that when they wake, their face is all puffy, their lips are glossy or stuck together but the sight is comforting, here watching Dean wake up makes his tummy feel funny, there's a heat that settles deep in his lower stomach and it's very pleasing.
Somehow, Dean looks more human and a lot younger than he is whenever he wakes up, there is a good five minutes where he looks like this. All puffy and still emerging from his dreams. Then after that he disappears into the bathroom and when he comes out he's got his serious face on, all sharp edges and he seems tense all the time, stiff and always on the lookout for danger.
But, this morning he stays like this, in his bed his green eyes looking even more tired than usual.
“Good morning Dean, you look tired.” He says, hoping that maybe he will agree and fall back asleep so Castiel can watch him sleep for a little longer.
“Thanks Cas, you don't I envy you. Why do you always look so damn good it ain't fair.” Dean says, and he would be ashamed to admit it but the way his voice sounds so deep and hoarse is very satisfying. It scratches a specific part of his brain so well.
“Because I don't get tired.” He replies, not understanding why Dean is asking him this since he knows why.
“Guys, could you get ready maybe? It's not like we have a case to work on.” Sam's voice is the most annoying he has ever heard, even Lucifer's voice is less grating but Castiel ignores it best he can.
“Actually all we don't–”
“Yes that's the point, you got back from Purgatory and we have no idea how and now you're trying to be a hunter but failing wonderfully at it so–”
“Sam c'mon drop it. He says he doesn't know and let me remind you he's already struggling to understand how humans work, it's like asking a toddler to get a job. He's doing his best.” Dean cuts Sam before he says any more rude things, Sam who rolls his eyes and looks very much like a cat trying to catch a laser.
“Thank you Dean. I appreciate it. Now about the coffee you asked for earlier Sam, you still have not answered me.” He turns towards Sam, stepping forth from his corner.
“Three cups, milk and sugar for me, black for Dean” Sam replies after a long desperate sigh and a side glance at Dean.
“Why three?” Castiel frowns
“One for yourself, obviously.” Sam does the eye roll again, he does it a lot.
“Oh.” Castiel looks at his feet, slightly embarrassed that he did not catch that.
“What should I put in my coffee?” He asks, clueless on what to order.
“Try black like me and if you don't like it, add sugar and if you still don't like it add milk and if you're an annoying teenager add some syrup and all kinds of weird things like ice, why ruin a coffee with ice? I'll never understand.” Dean is still in bed, his hands are crossed in his lap, he doesn't seem determined to ever get out of it.
“Okay.” Castiel says and zaps to the nearest coffee shop, he enters by the front door to not seem suspicious and notices that it's almost empty.
The barista is a young woman with unnatural looking blue hair, she has pieces of metal in her nose, on her lips and ears it looks quite good. Her name tag reads ‘Jam’ which makes him chuckle because who would name their child like the delicious fruity spread Americans put between bread and peanut butter.
“Hello… Jam. I would like to order coffee.” He says, proudly.
“Good morning sir, yes that's probably why you are here.” Jam replies with a mocking smile which wipes off Castiel's.
But, he brushes it off and smiles wider, “Yes indeed, may I have two black coffees and a coffee with milk and sugar.”
“Of course, did you mean a latte?” The girl asks while writing letters on the cups.
“Uh… no I meant coffee with milk and sugar.”
“Yeah that's a latte.” She chuckles.
Castiel looks down ashamedly and nods, “A latte then thank you.”
“Perfect, it'll be right up, can you give me a name and I'll call you when it's ready?” Jam has already turned around and begins to prepare the order when he replies.
“Dean.” He didn't think before saying it, it was unintentional really, as if somehow he was thinking more of Dean than he thought about himself – which is entirely true – but he did not mean to say his name, it's just the name that first came to his mind: before his own.
Jam turns back around to grab some ingredients and their eyes meet, for an instant he almost apologizes and says ‘No– I meant my name is Castiel’ but he doesn't and instead his cheeks burn up.
That's one thing he dislikes about humans but loves at the same time, the way their face turns red when they feel ashamed or when they see someone they love. It can be useful to decipher someone's emotions but it's more of a pain that betrays you so easily. It's impossible to control.
A few minutes later Jam calls out “Dean.” and his cheeks turn even redder, he tries thinking about anything other than the shame he feels – which he doesn't understand – and walks up to grab the carton that holds the three cups.
He smiles awkwardly, “Thank you Jam, have a lovely day.”
She laughs, “You too Dean.”
Castiel zaps out the second her eyes leave him without caring if she'll be confused about the fact he was there one second and the next he isn't. But he doesn't zap back to the motel instantly, instead he stops by a nearby bakery and gets a piece of pie for Dean and a croissant for Sam (he finds them rather tasteless and believes it'll fit Sam perfectly).
When he does get back to the motel he finds that Dean is not there, Sam is already on his laptop doing some research.
“Where is Dean?” He asks almost threateningly.
Sam gasps – he scared him again poor Sam – “Uh.. bathroom. You took some time.”
Castiel goes to the table where he is sitting and gives him his ‘latte’ and croissant.
Sam’s face lights up, “Oh! Thank you.”
“Why didn't you tell me that what you wanted was a latte?” Castiel is angry at Sam, he knows these things are new to him.
Sam furrows his eyebrows, “Because it’s not… I asked for coffee with milk and sugar.”
“Well Jam– the barista said it was a latte.” Castiel argues, helpless.
“Not the same thing.” Sam bites into the croissant.
It doesn't take Dean long to appear from the bathroom and Castiel feels slightly disappointed to find that his puffy morning face is gone and replaced by the usual serious face he wears every day.
“I brought you pie.” He announces proudly.
And Castiel would give up everything to see that face all the time, it’s a slow reaction, the way his eyebrows shoot up, his eyes widen and his bottom lip quivers so very slightly but it’s all very noticeable. The same feeling grows warmer in his stomach than it did earlier.
“Really? Thanks that's… thank you Cas.” Dean’s cheeks are turning pink, so he wonders now if he feels embarrassed or ashamed.
“Did I embarrass you?” He asks panicked.
“No why?” Dean’s cheeks are turning red now.
“Your cheeks…” Castiel trails on, he's realizing that pointing it out makes it worse because now the redness is traveling to his forehead.
“Oh. No, that's… gratitude.” Dean looks down which rarely happens.
He mentally notes to add ‘gratitude’ as another feeling that makes people blush.
Dean closes in the distance and grabs his cup of coffee, then he just stands there visibly waiting. Then Castiel remembers he's still holding the paper bag that contains the pie, “Sorry.” Then he hands it to him.
Dean breaks in laughter, the bright type so Castiel cannot help but chuckle with him, his laugh is very contagious.
Finally Dean grabs the pie and their fingers brush slightly so slightly but it's enough to send shivers down his spine, it's an odd thing he also dislikes about humans. They feel so much and using a vessel means that he feels what his vessel feels as in, he is feeling very human things even though he isn't human as in he doesn't sleep, doesn't need to eat or drink or shower but still, his body – the body he is in – feels all sorts of things.
He could technically block these things out, ignore them to the point he doesn't feel them anymore but deep down, he likes feeling these things. It's hard to put words on the way he feels about Dean, but he remembers very well hearing the name Dean Winchester for the first time. He was in Heaven working on his missions as always until he received the order to rescue Dean from Hell. Castiel was shown the image of the young man, they told him everything he needed to know about Dean and that is how everything began. Sometimes Castiel believes that is when his own life started although it is not true, before hearing about Dean he was the perfect angel, a good soldier, a fantastic leader and protector of Heaven. But when he heard about Dean Winchester and how this man, just a man, had managed to do the work that angels are praised to be doing, as a simple human, but really Dean is nothing simple he is brave and good. So good.
Castiel had been warned that he had spent a decade torturing souls in Hell but he didn't care, this man had already spent thirty getting tortured, anyone would have given up and way earlier. To endure thirty years of torture you must be so strong, Castiel isn't even sure if he himself could endure it. He hopes to never find out. And when he slipped into Hell to rise him, the sight before his eyes was greater than any image that was shown to him, even beaten down and hurt Dean is pure, even after giving in to torture and therefore ‘becoming bad’ he still remained good. He never stopped being good even after giving up.
Dean plops down on his bed and takes a big bite of pie, his face is priceless. His head is tilted back, his eyes are closed and he's munching on the sweet treat like it's one of the world's seven wonders.
When he reopens his eyes, Castiel's meets them, “Whatcha starin at?” Dean asks, in a southerner accent than usual.
“You, obviously.” Castiel retorts.
“I think he wants your pie Dean.” Sam says from the table, which sends Dean into another burst of laughter and he is trying really hard to understand why that is so funny.
“Do you, Cas, want my pie?” Dean asks with a smirk.
“I got it for you, why would I want to eat your pie? It doesn't make any–” Castiel stops speaking when the two brothers begin to laugh even harder, clearly they are laughing at him.
“I must add that Castiel's got a cherry pie too and I know you like ‘em Dean.” Sam adds in between laughter and Dean just laughs harder, he's almost choking.
“Please can you both stop and explain to me what this whole pie issue is? Is it because this is blueberry pie and not cherry? Did I get it wrong?” He is slowly losing his patience but the boys don't stop and simply continue laughing and clutching their bellies.
Eventually the laughter dies down, “Oh man, we really gotta teach you everything. S'okay I'll take some time with you alone to teach you all the jokes and innuendos we make because this can't keep happening. And by the way no you didn't get it wrong this pie is delicious. Now come on, we should get going.” Dean says and his cheeks are once again crimson.
Sam opens his mouth to speak but Dean cuts him, “And Sam if you make any more pie jokes about Cas I'll punch you in the face.” which makes Sam chuckle before he nods.
“Good.” Dean says at last.
***
Later that day, they stop at a fastfood chain restaurant in the center of Boston because Dean is getting impatient and he keeps calling Kevin who is struggling enough to decode the tablet, so Sam told him it was time to have lunch and that whenever Dean gets impatient it means he's ‘hangry’ and that we must feed him or else something terrible will happen. Castiel has no desire to find out what could happen so he follows them into the diner, they find a booth and Sam announces that he's going to the bathroom. Castiel takes the opportunity to ask Dean about the pie.
“Dean, please tell me what the pie joke meant.”
Dean sighs and color paints his cheeks again, “Seriously? Drop it, it's between me and Sam alright? We have inside jokes, that's a sibling thing. That means that we can also have inside jokes.”
Castiel ponders, “We can?”
“Yes ‘we’, you're my best friend. We should have inside jokes that no one else can understand.”
“Like what?”
“I don't know, we'll make something up.”
“But when? Sam is always with us.”
“You have a point, you know what, since we don't have a case yet and we can't do anything about Kevin, we'll just go out together this afternoon. Sam will go shopping or whatever he does these days and we'll have some guy time.”
Speaking of, Sam comes back and sits next to him, he wants to tell him to move and sit next to Dean but it would be seen as rude.
“Sam,” Dean begins, “Me and Cas are gonna have a girl's night out.”
“What?” Sam laughs but he doesn't look amused.
“You heard me, we're gonna spend the afternoon and evening together to do guy things, you know things friends do which you wouldn't know about of course because I'm your only friend but anyways that's not the point, we'll be back sometime tonight after a couple of strip shows.”
It's Castiel's turn to blush because he remembers the embarrassment of the last time he stepped foot in a club with Dean and well they got kicked out because of a comment that upset a girl…
This promises to be an eventful day and Castiel should feel more worried but he is honestly growing more excited to spend some alone time with Dean by the second.