Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

She didn’t want to be alone.

She didn’t want to be alone!

She didn’t want to be alone.

She didn’t want to be alone.
She didn’t want to be alone.
She didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t want to be alone.

SHE DIDN’T WANT TO BE ALONE

S h e d i d n t w a n t t o b e a l o n e .

She wanted friends. She wanted family. Even though she didn't think it out loud, she didn't want to be alone.

She didn’t want to be alone.

She

didn’t

want

to

be

alone.

You wake.

You’re in the soft bed of an ornately furnished hotel room. Outside of one wide window is a snow-covered street.

There’s loud knocking at the hotel room door. You turn your head and blearily yell. “Dad?”

His voice drifts back to you. “You dressed? We gotta go in ten minutes!”

Ten minutes? Oh crap, you overslept! You need to get dressed, now!

“Uh, just a minute,” you reply.

You reach to the side and grab your silver-wrapped gum from the nightstand. You pull the hardened gum from the wrapper and pop it in your mouth, giving it a few good chews before it softens in your mouth.

Chewing it feels nice, like something has clicked right into place. Familiarity. You're comforted by this feeling.

Your dad’s voice causes you to jump. “Hurry Vi, we only got five minutes!”

You hop out of bed and hurry over to your suitcase. You pick a random outfit, a blue thing with lots of round buttons, and you quickly get dressed.

You run into the bathroom and start yanking a comb through your bed head. Eventually it's out of stage where it is still technically a little tangled, okay, a lot tangled, but you can't really tell from the outside. Sometimes, that’s all you can really hope for in life. You take a red ribbon and tie your hair up nicely. Then, you go to the door.

Your father is on the other side, his arms crossed and his foot tapping impatiently. “What took you so long?”

“Sorry dad,” you reply, “I slept in.”

He shakes his head. “Try not to next time.”

The two of you walk to the elevator, which takes you down to the first floor fast. The factory is pretty close by, so you and Dad walk out onto the snowy street. In the meantime, you think about the contest and the five winners.

A few months ago, a contest was announced by the famous and mysterious chocolatier, Willy Wonka. There were five golden tickets hidden in candy bars across the globe and whoever found them would go to tour the factory. In the end, all five were found by kids across the world:

The first ticket was found by a German kid named Augustus Gloop, who won because he ate like a hundred bars a day, even before the contest.

The second ticket was “found” by a rich posh girl, Veruca Salt, who in your humble opinion cheated because she didn’t actually find it, and in fact had a whole factory of workers looking for it.

The fourth ticket was found by a fellow American boy whose name you do not remember in the slightest. Apparently, he cracked some sort of algorithm in order to find it, which is odd to you because the tickets were supposed to be randomly placed, but you don’t question it.

The fifth ticket was found last night, you saw it on the midnight news, by a very poor kid named Charlie Bucket. It’s a spectacular rags-to-riches story. You think they’re making a movie.

You’re here because you got kind of lucky. Not in a very impressive way, so instead of dwelling on your victory, you just look forward on the incoming tour. After all, what else are you supposed to do?

You and Dad make it to the factory gates with about three minutes to spare. No time to make conversation, but it wasn’t like you were planning to anyway. A huge crowd of flag-waving people are there too, as well as the other five winners. There’s even a band playing funny music. You smile at it all.

You look up at the gates. They loom ominously tall and gnarled over everything else. You know they’ll soon let you into the factory.

Today is going to be the perfect day. You just know it.

Suddenly, all of the noises stop as the clock strikes twelve. The gates move, slowly opening. There’s a path leading to a door, and the door opens.

Out walks a man, dressed in colorful clothing and a big top hat and a goatee, hobbling along with a cane. You're a little confused at first, and then delighted when he pretends to fall and does a perfect somersault. There's claps and cheers all around. The other contestants look so happy. You know by now who this is.

Willy Wonka spreads his arms out wide. “Welcome my little friends! Welcome to the factory!”

Everyone steps forward one at a time, and gets their arm nearly ripped off by an energetic shake. When it’s your turn, you flash the ticket and your biggest, widest smile at him too. He shakes your hand and says, “Delighted to meet you,” in a bunch of different ways.

Afterwards, the whole group is led into the building and the sounds of the crowd and the band fade away.

The air inside the factory is warm, and the walls are pink. There’s a faint pounding in the distance that sends a pleasant thrum throughout your entire body.

After all of the kids sign a weird hard-to-read contract, Mr. Wonka leads the group down a long sloping corridor that seems to get narrower and narrower. He’s going so fast that it almost seems like he’s trying to lose the group, but he keeps calling for them to keep up. You probably keep up the best, you think, and you use your time to ask questions.

“Where are we going?” you ask.

“Our first stop is the heart of this entire factory.”

“What’s the heart?”

“You’ll see!” he says delightedly.

The pounding in the distance gets louder and louder.

Eventually, Mr. Wonka leads the group onto a catwalk that leads into a great big chamber, filled with gears and cogs turning, and steam shooting at the ceiling.

“This,” Mr. Wonka says, gesturing at the machine, “Is the machine heart that powers this entire factory! Look around but stay near me please! Some of the catwalks aren't stable!”

Everyone oohs and aahs at the wires and buttons. You see, from a distance, a strange-looking mess of machinery. You walk over to get a closer look. You can hear Mr. Wonka say stay near me again, but you pay it no mind. But as you’re looking, you feel part of the catwalk you’re on break.

You yell, and stumble. You can hear Dad yelling. The catwalk groans. You hear metal snapping.

You spin around. Everyone is staring at you with wide eyes. Mr. Wonka puts a cautioning hand forward. “Don’t. move. a muscle.”

Just as the words leave his mouth, the platform beneath you fully breaks away from the rest of the catwalk, taking you with it. You can hear someone screaming as you fall into the machinery.

As you live through the novel experience of having your body broken in half by two sharp gears, you

You

You feel     a tug     on     your     stomach

And…

You wake.

You choke for a second as you look around your hotel room. It can’t be…did you…just…

Suddenly, you hear knocking at the door. “Violet! You dressed? We gotta go in ten minutes!”

You stare at your hands. “I…”

“Get going!”

Did you just die?! Yeah, you just died! You fell into a machine! You were ground up by gears! You felt every zeptosecond of it! You died!

But now you’re back here?!

Have you gone back in time?!

You look to the side, and you see your still-wrapped gum. It definitely seems like you’ve gone back in time. You’ve gotten a second chance, somehow.

You sigh shakily and grab your gum. It makes you feel a bit better to chew on it.

You slowly get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. You want to wash your face. But when you get there, you realize that…

…someone else is in there.

You stop and stare at the figure sitting in the corner. Their entire body is one bright, lovely shade of bluish purple, and their shape is constantly shifting and changing. They have two eyes that look like bright stars, maybe even faraway planets, and as you enter, they turn those glittering eyes towards you. 

“Hello Bubbles,” it says, in a voice that sounds like wind chimes, “Admiring my color?”

You’re frightened. You step away. “Who…are…you?”

It makes a strange trilling sound that sounds kind of like laughter. “Oh, you’re a cute little one! Don’t tell me that you’re scared of me! You've already gone back, why would you be suprised?”

Your eyes widen. “How do you know that?!”

It trills again, raising a…limb? to its…mouth? “Why wouldn’t I? I know everything! You’re a champion gum-chewer! A golden ticket winner! A time looper!”

Your mouth hangs open. You feel like you can't understand anything anymore.

“Feeling a little overwhelmed? Understandable,” it says, patting the space next to it. “But I am here to help. Call me Blue. Now, why don’t I fill you in on everything?”

“I...I can’t, I have to go to the factory soon,” you protest.

Blue’s eyes glitter. “Don’t worry Bubbles, time is stopped as long as you're in this bathroom. Feel free to take as much time as you need.”

You hesitantly sit down. It coos and ruffles your hair. After its...hand? leaves your head, you grab at your mussed up hair and frown. It continues speaking.

“So! You’re stuck in a time loop. This means that every time you die, or someone else dies, or you’re eliminated, or someone else is eliminated, you’ll be sent back to square one.”

You tilt your head. “Eliminated?”

“If someone gets booted from the tour,” Blue clarifies, “Which will happen more than you expect.”

“Why?”

It trills again. “Because my dear, spoiler alert, Wonka wants an heir, which he will only find when one good little child is remaining.”

“Why does he want an heir?” you ask.

Blue shrugs. “Beats me. But unfortunately for him and unfortunately for you, everyone has to stay together if you’re going to make it to the end.”

“I think I get it,” you say, “So, everything gets reset? And everyone forgets? And everything’s the same?”

Blue claps. “Bingo bongo Bubbles! You’re right on the money! I have a good feeling about you.”

"But, how do I stop time looping? I can't be here forever," you say.

It seems...hesitant to answer your question. "Well...I think making it to the end of the tour is a good start, no?"

You frown and stand up. “I…think I should go now.”

Another trill. “Alright, but one more piece of advice for the road.”

“What is it?”

“If anyone offers you a Snozzberry, don’t eat it. You’re deathly allergic and EpiPens haven’t been invented yet,” it says.

“What’s a Snozzberry? What’s an EpiPen?” you ask.

“Questions questions! Don’t you know that curiosity killed the cat? Get going!” it cries.

You leave the bathroom.

Chapter Text

Okay, take two. You listen to Mr. Wonka this time, and stay far away from the catwalks where you once fell to your demise. And after a little bit of staring at everything, the group moves on to the next thing without incident. You feel victorious. It’s a little odd, hearing everything again, but the odd feeling disappears once you move on.

The next room is absolutely breathtaking, a valley made entirely out of delicious confections. It’s a place that Mr. Wonka is obviously very proud of, and you can see why. It’s absolutely amazing, smells great, and tastes pretty good too. You could live there permanently.

It’s also where you meet the Oompa Loompas. You haven’t seen enough of them to have a very strong impression of them, other than that they’re kind of annoying.

You pluck a huge gummy bear from the branches of a tall tree and bite into its ear, which is the correct place to start eating a giant gummy bear. It’s probably the best bite of gummy you’ve ever taken. The flavor is bright and it tastes like perfectly ripe fruit. You stroll along the path, breathing the sweet air and eating the bear, and for a moment you forget that you’re supposed to be stopping the others from getting eliminated. You remember when you hear yelling.

You rush over to see that Augustus Gloop has somehow fallen into the chocolate river running throughout the room. His mother turns out to be the one who was screaming. You watch the German get sucked up a pipe, and then

You feel     a tug     on     your     stomach

You wake.

You immediately hop out of bed, making sure to grab your gum in the process, and run to the bathroom. You burst through the doorway to see Blue in the exact position it was before.

“Blue! I looped! It happened again! I looped!”

“You sure did.”

“This is crazy! I can’t believe that I get infinite chances to do everything!”

“Yes, in a way, Bubbles,” is all that Blue says.

So, Augustus Gloop will fall into the river and get eliminated if you don’t do something to stop him from drinking from the river.

You say, “Stop drinking from the river.” He doesn’t listen to you and falls into the river anyway.

You say, “Stop drinking from the river you lard-ass.” He doesn’t listen to you, possibly out of spite this time, and falls into the river anyway.

So telling him to stop and telling him to stop in a meaner way didn’t work out. You have to think of another strategy. As you lay in bed at the beginning of another loop, an idea comes to you. What if you just distracted him until it was time to move on?

Your first attempt to distract him doesn't go so well. He becomes disinterested and wanders off to the river right in the middle of your explanation of the process of farming resin from trees. You try talking about the solar system instead to the same result. You try to talk about a lot of things, but it seems that Augustus Gloop is dedicated to throwing himself into that stupid river.

Fine, if he's not interested in talking, you'll just have to force him to be interested. By befriending him or something.

You begin by getting ready so quickly that by the time Dad knocks on the door you're ready to go. Then, once you're waiting for the gates to open, you sidle up to the Germans and prepare to gain a new friend.

“Hi, I’m Violet Beauregard and I think that we should be best friends!” you say before realizing that you're coming off way too strong. Dang it.

Augustus Gloop gives you a weird look, the first expression other than “neutral” that you’ve seen on his face, and turns back to the weird cupcake thing he was eating. You realize that you’ve failed.

You eventually try again, a bit less forceful this time.

“Hi, I’m Violet. What's your favorite candy?”

To your delight, he actually replies to you this time. “I like chocolate. Vhat do you like?”

“Cool! I like gum,” you say, and then you pop your gum as if to prove it.

“I’ve never had gum. Vhat’s it like?” he asks.

“Oh it’s…” you almost say familiar, which wouldn’t have been helpful, “There’s always a nice flavor in the beginning, but it fades after a while. After that it’s just sort of calming.”

“Sounds nice,” he says. You’ve won.

You talk about chocolate and gum for a little while longer, until Dad calls out to you to come back because there's only five minutes left. Your conversation continues inside of the factory. The two of you talk about candy, and which candies you both like, and which foods you both like, and eventually what soap operas you both like.

In the Chocolate Room you have a particularly serious conversation about which is better: gum or chocolate, and by the time you both agree that the person who invents actually good chocolate-flavored gum will achieve world peace, everyone is boarding a boat to the next room. You've solved a problem. The scary tunnel that comes afterwards barely fazes you,

You realize that you’ve also genuinely had a good time speaking to the kid. You'll never forget this.

The next person to test your patience is, surprisingly, yourself.

You’re in the Inventing Room, a room that you can’t help but love because everything is so bright and interesting to look at. So many experimental candies, so many possibilities, so many secrets that you now know. The other American kid whose name you’ve forgotten even gets his teeth exploded at one point, but he doesn’t get eliminated so you don’t worry about it. It’s also just nice to see a bunch of new stuff happen for once.

There’s even a machine that apparently makes magic gum. Mr. Wonka said to not chew the magic gum, so of course you immediately chewed the magic gum.

You don’t want to think about what happened next.

Luckily you didn’t let the experience ruin the Inventing Room or chewing gum for you. You think you’ll stick to your own gum from now on. And thankfully, you only wasted one loop on the whole painful thing! That has to count for something! You’ll never forget this.

You manage to make it through the Inventing Room without any further incidents (aside from warning Augustus to not eat the taffy that makes your hair grow uncontrollably), and the whole group moves on. After everyone leaves the room, Mr. Wonka turns around and seems to count everyone.

“My my,” he says, sounding suprised, “There’s five good little children still following me!”

And it only took about thirteen loops to get to this point, but you don’t tell him this.

“Why wouldn’t there be?” you ask, oh so innocently, as if you hadn’t messed up last time.

“Oh, no reason,” he replies, trying to pat your head amicably.

You smile, then default to a frown as soon as he looks away.

The walls of the next room are covered floor to ceiling by strips of a fruit-pattern wallpaper. There’s a delicious fruity smell throughout the entire room. You quickly realize that the smell is emanating from the wallpaper itself.

“...must show you this, lickable wallpaper, for nursery walls,” says Mr. Wonka, “Lick an orange and it tastes like an orange, lick a pineapple and it tastes like a pineapple!”

Everyone steps foreward and licks or slurps a fruit. You get a banana. It tastes like a sweeter banana.

Mr. Wonka keeps talking excitedly. “The strawberries taste like strawberries, the Snozzberries taste like Snozzberries!”

You think about Snozzberries as someone questions Mr. Wonka about the notion of such a fruit. Snozzberries, didn’t Blue mention those? You find a strange-looking fruit that looks like a bigger, rounder raspberry. You figure it must be the mystical Snozzberry, and out of curiosity, you lick it a couple of times.

It tastes spicy.

Now your throat feels funny, like you can’t breathe. You can’t breathe. You

You feel     a tug    on     your     stomach

You wake.

You’re shaking a little, probably because it’s the second time you’ve really, properly…died. On that note…did you just die from tasting a Snozzberry? That was terrible! Oh boy, Blue was right, you must be really allergic if just the extract presumably is enough to take you out. It didn’t taste too bad though. You'll never forget this.

Blue was right. Huh.

You question it on its knowledge as you’re trying to brush your hair. Unfortunately, your hair resets after every loop so you’ve had to brush out the tangles a lot.

“How’d you know I’m allergic to Snozzberries?” you ask, “I didn’t know I was allergic to Snozzberries.”

Blue trills. “I have my ways.”

“No, seriously, how did you know?”

Its tone suddenly changes a little bit. “Bubbles, what do you think I am?”

“What? Uh, I dunno.”

“Yes, you don’t know. And that’s how I’d like to keep it, alright?”

“But why do-”

“Hush, child.”

You grumble and give up with the brush. You don’t bother with a ribbon this time.

You pass through the Fizzy Lifting Drink Room, a room with bubbles and anti-gravity soda, without incident. The next problem comes in the Egg Room. It’s a room with five giant geese, all laying giant golden eggs. You all realize they’re made of chocolate after Augustus bites into one with no hesitation. It’s almost impressive, really.

The trouble starts when Veruca Salt begins whining about how she wants a golden goose for herself. At first you kind of agree with her because the geese are pretty cute despite being huge and scary, but then she starts talking about feasts and parties and stuff and loses you. She runs around like a tornado for a little bit, messing with the Oompa Loompa’s work and getting wrapping strewn everywhere. Then at one point she climbs up on one of the egg catching platform things and gets sent to the garbage. After that

You feel     a tug     on     your     stomach

So, Veruca Salt will have a tantrum that will end with her falling down to the garbage chute. You immediately think of an easy way to stop it, by blocking her from getting on the thing.

You sit on the edge of the chute where she fell, which seems to work at first (even though the machine seems to…malfunction) until the American boy mimics you with a different chute and gets sent to the garbage. You call him the worst name you can think of on his way out.

The next loop, you try directly telling Veruca Salt to not get on the chute. She doesn’t listen. You call her the second-worst name you can think of on her way out.

In the wake of your failures, you come up with a third plan: stop her tantrum from happening. You’re not sure how to do it at first, but in the next loop as you're staring at a tall rack of golden eggs, you get a super cool and awesome idea.

You run over and start climbing it, hand over hand, foot over foot, reaching the top just as Veruca starts freaking out.

“Hey everyone, look at me!” you cry. Everyone looks up at you, and Veruca stops shouting. Your plan seems to be working.

“Violet, are you nuts? Get down from there!” Dad shouts.

You wiggle around a bit, the eggs shuddering with your movements. “I know what I’m doing, Dad!”

“Little girl, I’d strongly advise getting down from there,” says Mr. Wonka.

“Don’t worry, I’m ay-okay,” you say, moments before losing your grip and plummeting to the floor.

You land on your tailbone. Hard. It hurts like hell. It hurts like nothing has ever hurt before. But, as you wince and look around, you realize that everyone, including Veruca, is looking concernedly at you, which means that no one has gone down a chute! Your plan worked! Yay! Ouch.

“Are you alright?” asks Charlie Bucket. You flash him two thumbs up and a slightly shaky grin in response. You are alright. You are.

Wonka stares at you for a moment and then turns to the other kids. “Well, children, let this be a lesson to you: don’t climb on shelves.”

Dad pulls you up, which hurts a little bit. “Don’t pull anything like that again, okay?”

“Okay,” you lie.

After a little while longer, Wonka prompts the group to move on. Your butt hurts, a lot, but in your opinion it’s more than worth it. You’ll never forget this.

Every time you do it, it hurts a bit less.

Finally, you make it to the TV room. You have to take the Great Glass Elevator to get there, which is a bit of a squeeze with all of the kids and parents, but a totally awesome ride. Now you’re in a white and spotless room, with only a weird camera platform thing and a TV for decoration. You all put on these special glasses and Mr. Wonka asks for someone to explain how TV works. The other American kid, who you finally hear being called Mike, eagerly explains it to Mr. Wonka, who shuts it down after about five seconds.

Mr. Wonka then demonstrates his invention Wonkavision by having a huge bar of chocolate get teleported to the TV from the platform. Mike gets excited and jumps onto the platform. He yells “Lights Camera Action!”, there’s a bright flash, and

You feel     a tug     on     your     stomach

You play it tactically and take a couple of loops to thoroughly investigate Mike (Teavee. His surname is Teavee. The kid who likes TV is named Teavee, for crying out loud.) Thankfully, you figure out the solution easily enough, which is good because you’re getting really tired of the loops (and of injuring your tailbone). Mike Teavee likes talking about things, especially about guns and TV. You just have to listen to the kid ramble about stuff.

You approach him in the invention room first, after his teeth get blown up. “Hey,” you say, “You mentioned an algorithm for the tickets, but I thought they were random! Could you-”

He launches into an explanation of the complicated shipment algorithms and his strategy in hacking the system before you can even fully finish the sentence. He’s so animated as he talks about it, it seems like he really wanted to tell someone about it. You feel like you’re being talked down to a little, but it’s practically no price to pay at all to distract the kid.

When Mr. Wonka sends the giant chocolate bar to the TV, you get Mike’s attention and ask him to fully explain how TVs work. In that way, you’re able to keep him from running onto the platform. And when the tour moves on, you can’t help but feel proud of yourself. You figured it out in one try! You’ll never forget this.

After you all discard your glasses, Mr. Wonka turns around.

“You’re all still here!” he shouts, surprised.

Everyone stops. “Of course we are,” says Charlie Bucket.

He looks enormously pleased. “Well, I was not expecting this! Do you know what this means?”

You are the only one who dares to answer. “What does it mean?”

Mr. Wonka’s eyes twinkle. “It means you’ve all won, my dear child.”

No one else seems to know what this means. No one except for you. You nearly yell in victory. It’s almost over, you just know it.

“We’ve won? What have we won?” asks Charlie, the innocent boy that he is.

“My boy, don't tell me you thought the contest ended when you found your ticket! You see, I was looking for one good little boy or girl to win, but it seems I’ve been surprised with five!”

The others turn and whisper excitedly amongst themselves and their parents. You feel a bit relieved. It’s over.

“You know, I’m proud of you. I’m proud of all of you. For behaving,” he says, smiling at no one specifically.

You grin in return. It’s over. You got out in twenty-eight loops. Not bad for time, if you do say so yourself.

But suddenly, as you’re thinking about your success, he stops and stares at nothing with a strange, blank expression. He looks like he’s seeing something else entirely.

His expression changes. He looks…sickened. “Oh no. No no no no no no no.”

“Mr. Wonka? What’s wrong?” you ask, a little fearful.

His eyes are wide with the kind of terror that adults aren’t supposed to feel.

“Something…something is dearly wrong! Why didn’t I see it before? It’s too late now! She’ll suffer for this,” he mutters.

“...Mr. Wonka?”

He turns his eyes down on you, as if he’s only noticing you now. They are…apologetic? “I’m so sorry Violet! You’ll be going back! Back to where you started!”

Your fingernails and teeth are buzzing. You don’t know what to do.

You feel

“I just hope that one day…”

Everything seems to slow down. Your breath feels thick and hot.

a tug

“...you can learn to forgive-”

…why can you taste caramel on the air?

on your stomach

You wake.

Chapter Text

No.

No.

No no no.

You can't believe it.

You refuse to believe it.

You're not back here.

You're not back here.

You're. not. back. here.

You…you can’t be back here! You won! You survived!! You made it out!!! You won!!! You won!!!

So why…are you still…

There's a knock at the door. Dad says something you can't hear, because you can't breathe you can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breathe

You feel     a tug     on     your     stomach

You wake.

you can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breathe

You feel      a tug      on     your     stomach

You wake.

you can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breatheyou can't breathe -you-can't-breath-

Deep breaths, Violet. You need to calm down. You need to keep going. You need to stay alive.

You take a huge, trembling breath, in through the nose and out through the mouth. You breathe again, and again. In through the nose and out through the mouth. In through the nose and out through the mouth. In through the nose and out through the mouth. You take your gum with shaking fingers and shove it into your mouth. You chew it ferociously. Your mind finally seems to slow down a little.

You need to talk to Blue.

Blue is sitting in its usual spot. It looks up as you walk quietly into the bathroom.

“How can I help you Bubbles?” it asks pleasantly.

“I made it to the end,” you say, the words tight and clipped.

Blue’s entire demeanor changes to congratulatory. “Oh, you did? Great job Bubbles! I am so proud of you! And it’s only been what, twenty-eight loops? That has to be a record, I-”

“But I’m still here,” you say, “I’m still looping. I thought it would end when I won.”

“Oh,” it says awkwardly.

Something about their tone clicks into place for you.

“You knew the whole time, didn’t you?! You knew getting to the end wouldn’t end the loops!”

Blue puts its hand things up in defense. “I never claimed it would! You just assumed that!”

“But you could have told me!” you cry.

“You never asked,” it replies.

“I don’t care! I’m stuck here now, and I don’t know…”

You fall silent. You really are trapped, aren’t you? Aside from Blue, you have no one else to talk to here.

“You could tell one of your fellow winners,” Blue says suddenly, “Or even all of them! There’s no rule saying you can’t.”

You stare, and you think about it.

“No way, they might be angry,” you reply.

Blue trills. “And why’s that?”

You frown. “Because I’ve tricked them with the loops! A lot! I even tricked Mr. Wonka! Who likes a trickster? And I cheated to win! Besides, if I told them, they’d just forget in the next loop, right? It's just pointless.”

“I guess you’re right. So, what now? Are you going to give up?”

“No!” you answer almost immediately, “I can’t give up! I have to get out eventually! There’s gotta be another way!”

“....I like your attitude,” says Blue.

You'll find another way out. You’ll find it for sure. You’ll be fine. You're just not sure where to start.

Well, you have an idea.

You read a comic about a time loop once about a real grouch who lived through a particularly bad day over and over again. They only escaped once they got everything right and made everyone happy and kissed their crush (which was gross). You don't have anybody to kiss, but you could make everyone happy, if you needed to. You've already sort of done it with Augustus and Mike, why couldn't you do it for everyone? Yeah, you'll make everyone happy and break the time loop and everything will be great. You tell yourself this multiple times.

You’re glad that you've already figured out how to befriend Augustus, it makes your life a little easier. You are aware that you've been saying the exact same words over and over again, and yes, it is starting to get tiring. You have to remember not to say things out of order.

Then you’re in the Chocolate Room. You realize, as you pluck a yellow leaf from a tree and tear it into tiny strips, that you’re bored. You're bored, in the Chocolate Room, a place where it shouldn't have been possible to be bored. A place that should have been amazing for a lifetime, reduced to a boring stop on a boring tour.

You feel like you're in school.

…

Okay, maybe you're being a little dramatic about it, but you're still bored. And Bored Violet means the death of Logical Thought Violet.

Which means, randomly, you ask a question. “Hey, do y’think we're allowed to drink the river?”

Augustus looks at you, slightly confused. “You mean, from it?”

“No, I mean, with like a cup of something. So it doesn't get contaminated,” you reply quickly. You don’t want to

He thinks. “Hm. Vell, there's bound to be something cup-like around here. I think I saw some flowers earlier? They were stiff, like vax. Tasted strange though.”

“That should work,” you say.

You quickly locate the flowers he mentioned, yellow things with a hard, smooth texture. You easily pick a few and inspect them thoroughly. They crack in your hands with a little bit of pressure, and when you raise a piece to your mouth out of curiosity, you taste something bitter, and bland. You spit it out. Augustus mirrors you; spit take and all.

“Yuck,” you say, “I think that’s actual wax. Mr. Wonka?”

Mr. Wonka, as it happens, is walking merrily down a path nearby. He stops when you call.

“Mr. Wonka? Everything is made of candy, right?” you ask.

His eyes twinkle and he waves his cane around. “Yes, everything you see around you.”

You hold up the wax flowers. “Then what are these made of?”

“They’re made of wax. The plant died a week before you arrived here, and we didn’t have time to grow a new one,” he says matter-of-factly.

“So, it’s not made of candy.”

“No.”

“...alright,” you say, scowling a little.

You hand a cup to Augustus, who looks weirdly amused by the whole endeavor.

“Isn’t Mr. Vonka funny?’ he asks.

You roll your eyes. “He’s weird. Never says what he means.”

“I find it vhimsical!” he replies cheerfully.

“It’s annoying, that’s what it is.”

“Vell vhere’s the fun in having everything make sense all the time?”

You think about it. Turn the notion round and round in your brain. Huh.

“I dunno,” you reply, “It’s still annoying though.”

“Bah.”

“The hell was that?”

“Ohh, you said the h vord!”

You laugh. It’s nice, sometimes, to have a friend. You want to do things like this more often.

Next up is Mike, and you can think of a few ways to make him extra happy with you.

You bat at his hand as he reaches into a tray of red caramel-like sweets. He looks up at you in confusion.

“What was that for?” he asks, a trace of annoyance in his voice.

“I heard Mr. Wonka say that those candies will make your teeth explode,” you say gravely.

Mike’s eyes widen and he takes a step away from the tray. “Whoa! Really?”

“I mean, do you want to test it out?” you ask. The question is rhetorical.

He shakes his head. “No way!”

You cross your arms and nod. Your voice is full of authority. “That’s right. Everything here is experimental. We shouldn’t eat nothing.”

You’re fully aware of how rich that sounds from you, the one who definitely wasted a loop in here by eating an experimental candy, but Mike doesn’t know that, so it definitely doesn’t feel bad. Definitely.

“Fine,” he mumbles.

You take the opportunity to ask about the algorithm. Things click comfortably into place.

Next is Veruca, and you're not really sure of what to do. You don’t feel like hurting your tailbone again, but you don’t know any other way to keep her from getting upset. It takes you a loop or two, or way too many, to figure it out, but you realize that the answer, as with many things, is peer pressure.

You walk over to her while everyone’s getting inside of the factory.

“Hi,” you say in a careful, controlled, slightly friendly tone, “I’m Violet. You’re Veruca, right?”

“Yes,” she says very russianly.

“Nice to meet you,” you say.

There’s a moment of quiet between you and her.

“We both have V names,” she says.

You turn to her, eyes wide in realization. “We do! And we’re the only girls too. Isn’t that funny?”

Her eyes narrow. “Things are only funny when someone is laughing.”

As if on cue, you make a great big belly laugh. It’s something you’ve practiced for when Mike makes bad jokes. Veruca looks at you funny, and you think you’ve messed up for a second before she starts grinning.

“You’re funny,” she says, “We should be friends.”

“We should!” you reply.

The two of you sort of stick together except for when you have to talk to Augustus and Mike. You talk about school, and home, and boys (which you don't really get, they're boys what's the point). Then, when you’re in the Egg Room, you say, very loudly and pointedly, “Geez, those things are creepy!”

And to your delight, Veruca mumbles “Yeah,” in return.

Peer pressure worked!

How could you?

…sure, you feel a little scummy about it, but it’s not like you have many other options. And she seems fine other than that. It’s what you have to do. It’s fine.

“Hi, I’m Violet. You’re Veruca, right? Hey, we both have V names,” you say in another loop.

Charlie Bucket is the final kid to deal with. You haven’t spoken to him much yet, but to be honest he seems kind of mean. You’ve heard a constant stream of little comments between him and his grandfather, even after you made it to the end and acted perfectly. Sometimes you’ll just say something, and they’ll be like “chewing gum is for losers so you’re a loser,” out of nowhere. No one’s immune to it. You didn’t notice it as much at first, but it got annoying fast. Then you’d say something really funny in return and they just look at you weird for a while.

It’s fine though. If people keep being mean to you, over and over again, then you’re most likely the problem. Besides, Charlie seems like a nice kid and his grandpa seems like a nice grandpa, outside of the occasional mean comments of course. Charlie also is the only one who doesn’t throw himself into rivers and chutes the minute he gets the opportunity. That’s why you've never had to worry about him much before. Besides, you know both of them deserve this. You couldn’t help but notice the ratty coats they discard at the beginning of the tour, the way you can count each individual rib cage on Charlie’s stomach. You can’t help but know they need to be here. So, it’s fine, honestly.

The thing is, you’ve noticed something considering Charlie and his grandpa. Every loop, once you’re all in the Egg Room, Charlie and his grandpa disappear. They’re not there at first. They reappear a few minutes later, but it’s odd. You decide to sneak away while everyone is looking at the geese. You make sure to peer pressure Veruca before you go so she doesn’t reset your progress while you're gone. Then, you tiptoe carefully away from the group.

You walk back into the Fizzy Lifting Drink Room just as Charlie’s feet touch the ground again. His grandpa is standing off to the side, and until the moment you entered had been shouting distant encouragements. Now he’s just staring at you. Charlie looks and stares at you too.

Well, it’s certainly not what you were expecting.

The three of you stand and stare at each other in silence. Charlie looks like he’s about to cry. Uh oh. You need to do something, on the double!

“I won’t tell nobody,” you say quickly, folding your arms.

“Please don’t tell Mr. Wonka!” Charlie cries.

You frown. “I just said I wouldn’t!”

The grandfather speaks up. “Oh, please don’t…you won’t?”

“Hell no!”

Charlie looks mystified, which is a step up from the almost crying face he had earlier. “Wh-why not?”

Because then you’d reset. Because that’d just be mean. Because then you’d be bad. Because you need to get through this. Because you don’t hate him. “Because snitches get stitches!”

They both look confused, but relieved, which is good enough in your book.

“Thank you,” says the grandfather.

“Don’t worry about it, we need get back before they notice!”

You hope this works.

It didn’t work.

You’ve seen this all before. Mr. Wonka is freaking out, just like before. He’s rambling and muttering about rotten things and suffering, just like before. And now he’s apologizing to you, just like before. You want to scream. You want to cry.

It didn’t work. You don’t know why you expected it to work. You feel nauseous. You clutch your chest and bend forward a little, staring at the ground and trying hard to keep frustrated tears out of your eyes. The scent of caramel (is it caramel? Or just burnt sugar?) is everywhere, hanging thickly around the panicking chocolate maker, permeating every inch of your being.

You think you’ll just be disappointed until you hear someone else speak.

“Violet? Are you alright?”

You realize, distantly, that it’s Augustus. Your friend. He…noticed this time. He didn’t notice last time. You didn’t hear him. So why did he…

“Vi?”

“What’s wrong Violet?”

“...Violet?”

You stumble forward as the whole world seems to tip. Suddenly, their voices seem to swirl together into a desperate chorus. There's fear and confusion.

“Hey! What?!”

“W-what’s happening?”

“I just hope…”

“Violet!”

“Mr. Wonka please do something!”

“That one day…”

“Violet!”

“Vi!”

“You can learn to forgive-”

“Vio!-”

You feel     a tug     on     your     stomach

You wake.

You don't know what to do.

You take your gum. You chew your gum.

You don't know what to do.

You breathe. You sigh.

You get up.

You need to try new things. The first is very simple: while you’re walking towards the factory alongside Dad, you simply turn and run as fast as possible into a nearby alleyway. His confused shouts disintegrate as you burst out into the opposite street and speed up through the snow. Heads turn to stare at you as you sprint past. All you can hear is the sound of your feet pounding against the ground and the blood rushing behind your ears.

You run and run and gasp and run. You make it only about half a mile before

You feel     a tug     on     your     stomach

You wake.

Okay, so running away didn’t work. You’re still not out of options. You’re not.

You’re getting weary of befriending Augustus and the rest. You wish there was a way you could make it go quicker, but you don’t want to possibly alarm them. You owe it to them to be as normal as possible.

Jeez, you’ve all been stuck here for so long by now. You’ve lost track.

You’re so bad at this.

When you’re all in the great glass elevator, an idea comes to you. While everyone else is clamoring to go to the Lemonade Room or something, and Mike’s sticky fingers are about to hit the button for the TV Room, you press a random button. You need a change of scenery.

“Ah, Vanilla Fudge Mountain,” says Mr. Wonka, “An excellent choice.”

Vanilla Fudge Mountain is a mountain made of vanilla fudge. Nothing more and nothing less.

The group climbs up stiff white mountain peaks made of the delicious sticky confection. You can see the ceiling, painted a pretty icy blue shade to mimic the sky, only a dozen or so feet above your head.

Mr. Wonka leads the group along a narrow pathway right on the edge of a cliff. You try not to look down, but you can’t help but peep at the landscapes and sights below. The distance makes your head feel woozy.

As you make your way forward, you can see a group of Oompa Loompas mining for fudge up ahead. They’re wearing tiny winter jackets and using tiny ice picks to scoop lumps of fudge out of the mountainside. It’s an adorable sight.

Then, suddenly, you feel rumbling under your feet. You all look up to see a landslide of fudge crashing down the mountain, tumbling right towards the Oompa Loompas. They can’t get out of the way in time. You watch in horror as they’re hit, as their bodies disappear under the fudge, and as the landslide continues down the mountain. Not even blood is left behind.

Mr. Wonka is deathly silent. The parents are gasping. The other kids are inconsolable. Dad is yelling what kind of operation is this.

You wonder if you can save them.

The next loop, at the beginning of the pathway, you break away from the others and run ahead. You can hear Dad yelling and Mr. Wonka telling you to come back, but you don’t listen. You don’t dare look down either. You run with all of the force in your body.

You round the corner and see the mining crew. You run up to them.

“You have to go!” you cry.

They look at each other and let out an annoying laugh.

You point upwards at the mountain. “You have to go! There’s a landslide!”

A few of them look up and stop laughing. One of them, the leader you assume, whispers something to the others. They pick up their tools, one of them grabs you by the wrist, and you all run safely out of the way.

It’s not long before you come face to face with Mr. Wonka and the others.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, not in a yelling tone exactly but close to one.

“Violet, what the hell is going on?!” asks Dad in a definite yelling tone.

Before you can answer, before you can even open your mouth, the landslide crashes down behind you. Your back stiffens as everyone’s eyes widen. You can practically feel the numerous questions coming at you from all directions.

“I saw the landslide coming, so I went to see if there was anyone,” you say quickly.

The leader Oompa Loompa turns his gaze to you. He grins and whispers something to Mr. Wonka.

“They’re very thankful,” says Mr. Wonka.

You grin too. You hope this changes something.

It doesn’t change anything. Of course it didn’t. Of course you loop back again. That’s just how things are. You don’t bother trying to save them again. Something in you hurts.

You don’t know what to do.

“Blue,” you say at some point, “Can I just rest here for a while?”

“Don't you have to get going?” Blue asks.

You shrug and slide down next to them. “I'm tired.”

“Whatever happened to breaking the loops?” it asks, trilling.

“There's nothing else to do,” you reply.

You close your eyes and sigh. Your stomach feels kind of weird. Your eyes are watery. You're so, so tired.

You rest for a long while. You're not quite asleep, but you're not quite awake. Fluttering in-between. Eventually, you hear Blue murmuring something, quietly as if to not wake you up.

“God, it's gotten so bad. Poor thing.”

A moment passes. Then, it speaks again.

“I’m sorry, kid.”

You're too early to the Fizzy Lifting Drink Room this time.

You realize this immediately, because Charlie is still in the air, floating around weirdly. You realize you've never properly seen it happening before. It's odd, in a way that doesn't really strike you like it would've anymore. He’s floated way up high and has braced himself against a thin metal beam. Above his head is a great big fan, whirling around at a breakneck pace.

His grandfather is nearby as always, sinking through the air and flapping his arms like an idiot. He’s frantically telling Charlie to burp, burp, which you figure must be the way to get down. He hasn't seen you yet. You're not sure what to do. This isn't supposed to happen.

You're about to back away, out of view, when he sees you. And he's surprised, and you're surprised. This isn't supposed to happen.

You lock eyes and he slips. Your eyes widen. This isn't supposed to happen.

He fumbles for the beam, misses once, and-

Oh God.

Oh God, oh God, oh God.

You don't loop back nearly fast enough. You're watching and watching, and you watch and you watch, and you can't run and you can't look away. You watch. You watch. You w a t c h.

You need to loop back. You have to. You have to. You try.

You feel

It's not fast enough. You can hear his grandfather now. Oh God.

A tug

Someone's running to you. Someone tried to carry you away. You kick and scream and sob.

On

You can still see him. You can still see him. Oh God. You can…you…

Your-

She had planned to float through nothing for ever and ever, because she didn’t want anything anymore. That plan was put to an end when she woke up. She didn't know why she was still in the land of the living. At first, she thought she was in heaven, a place where she knew she didn't deserve to be. But as time passed, she realized she was still in hell. 

Chapter Text

You wake.

You’re not sure where you are at first. Everything seems too harsh. The light blinds you. The blankets scratch you. The pillows choke you.

You looped back. He’s fine. They’re all fine.

You repeat it in your head, over and over.

You looped back. He’s fine. They’re all fine. You looped back. He’s fine. They’re all fine. You looped back. He’s fine. They’re all fine. You looped back. He’s fine. They’re all fine. You looped back! He’s fine! They’re all fine! They’re! all!! fine!!!

Your thoughts are interrupted by the routine knocking at the door. You have to go. You have to go to the factory.

A tear runs down your face. Your arms and legs are shaking. You can’t do it. You can’t do it. You can’t. You can’t. You can’t.

You have to keep going, Violet.

They’re fine, Violet.

Don’t be a crybaby, Violet.

Get up.

You chew your gum.

“What’s with you today?” Dad asks in an annoyed tone during the walk

“...huh?”

“You’re being all…quiet. It’s weird.”

You shrug. “I’m fine Dad.”

“Well, can you act a little less creepy? You-”

“Leave me alone.”

He’s shocked. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”

“Dad, just leave me the hell alone already,” you say, more forcefully.

He becomes quiet and the two of you walk in awkward silence. You’re feeling so tired, and you know you’re doing a bad job of pretending you’re not. Your feet hurt tremendously. You want to stop. You want to curl up on the ground and be left alone for once. But you know you can’t, and you know you have to keep going. Even if every step of the way becomes bloody and burnt, you have to keep going.You have no choice.

You walk through the thick crowd and stop. You look around quickly. You need to see him. You need to make sure he’s okay.

Your eyes land on Charlie, who is standing safe and happy and not dead with his grandfather. Your breath catches for a moment. He’s okay. He’s okay, Violet. You swallow all of the tears that are currently threatening your composure. He’s okay.

He’s okay.

He’s okay.

You’re not, but that’s besides the point.

He’s okay.

“Are you alright? You look tired,” says Augustus as you approach him in the Chocolate Room.

“I’m fine, but we’ve got to go get cups for chocolate. Come on,” you reply. It sounds odd, incomprehensible, but you know by now that he’ll listen.

He looks at you strangely and follows.

“Hey, don’t do that,” you say sharply as Mike’s hand reaches for the explosive sweets.

He looks up, surprised. “Huh?”

“They make your teeth explode. Don’t do it.”

“How…how do you know that?”

“I just do, trust me.”

He frowns. “Okay…”

“This room is dumb,” you say to the geese.

“You think so?” Veruca replies.

“It’s dumb.”

“...you’re right.”

“I don’t care,” you say in the fizzy lifting drink room.

Charlie stops short. “You…you don’t? You won’t tell?”

“No. Let’s go.”

“Stop repeating yourself,” you say as Mr. Wonka freaks out.

“Follow me. We’ll find cups,” you say.

“Uh, vhat?” says Augustus.

“Don’t be stupid, these are bad,” you say.

“Uh, okay. Fine,” says Mike.

“Geese are dumb,” you say.

“You think so?” says Veruca.

“I don’t care,” you say.

“You don’t?” says Charlie.

“Stop repeating yourself,” you say as Mr. Wonka freaks out.

“Follow me,” you say.

“Don’t be stupid,” you say.

“This is pointless,” you say.

“Just forget it,” you say.

“STOP REPEATING YOURSELF,” you say as Mr. Wonka freaks out.

“Hey Bubbles? I know you said you wouldn’t, but can you at least try to talk to someone?” Blue says at one point.

You glare at the blue stranger, and then at the mirror where your mussed reflection stares back at you. Jeez, you’re a mess. “Why?”

“Well, I’ve just noticed that you’ve been struggling a little. You need some help.”

You sigh.

“Bubbles?”

“Blue, why is this happening? Did I do something wrong?”

Blue shrugs. “I don’t know. I…don’t think so. Why do you think that?”

You look down at your hands.“I dunno. I feel like I’m messing everything up.”

“Don’t say that! You did very well for a very long time.”

You slam your hands down on the marbled counter. “But I’m still stuck here! No matter what I do, I’m still stuck here!”

Blue sighs. “I don’t know the answer. I’m sorry.”

Things are quiet for a moment.

“I must be doing it all wrong,” you whisper, your voice breaking, “I’m so...”

“Bubbles,” Blue says, “Don't give up just yet, alright? You haven't tried absolutely everything.”

You sigh and slide down onto your elbows. “...maybe…maybe Mr. Wonka knows what’s happening. Maybe he can help. I’ll have to tell him that I’m a cheater though. That won’t be good. I don’t know what else to do though.”

“Just do it then.”

“Okay. Blue?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m tired.”

“I know.”

You approach Mr. Wonka in The Inventing Room. You don’t worry about Mike for once, there’s no point anymore.

“Mr. Wonka? I need to talk to you,” you say.

“What is it?” he asks, “Would you like to know the science behind the magic gum?”

“No. I have something to tell you.”

He sounds slightly surprised. “Really? Do tell.”

You look him straight in the eyes. “I’m stuck in a time loop.”

“...what?” he asks.

You roll your eyes. “I mean that I’ve lived today a bunch of times. I’ve seen it all.”

He doesn’t seem to believe you. “Ahem…that’s very nice. Uh, can you prove it?”

Without skipping a beat, you launch yourself into a description. “The next room we’re going to has lickable wallpaper for nurseries. After that is the Fizzy Lifting Drink Room, which is soda that makes you float. Then to The Egg Room with five giant geese, all hooked up to these machines that can separate good eggs from bad eggs. The eggs are only for Easter, but you trick the geese into laying them all year round. Then comes the Great Glass Elevator, and-

“Stop,” gasps Wonka, “Stop. I believe you. You know…you know everything. By god, you really are in a time loop. For how long?”

“I dunno,” you say, “I lost count. Must be like, a year by now.”

His eyes widen. He looks upset. “A year! Oh goodness, that is far too long! It’s a miracle that your mind hasn’t deteriorated from the lack of stimuli. Possibly due to the many wonders of my factory subconsciously reengaging your senses over and over. In any case, we need to get you out of the loop!”

“But that’s the problem! I don’t know how to get out of the loop!” you cry.

“You don’t? There’s no clear end?” Mr. Wonka says, frowning.

You shake your head. “No! I tried everything! I tried keeping everyone together, making everyone happy, changing things, but nothing worked!”

“Oh dear, that’s not good. Are you just now coming to me about it?” he asks.

“Yeah, I dunno what to do anymore,” you mumble.

“Well I believe I can help you somehow. I read about time loops before. They’re certainly possible, although rare. There’s two ways that a time loop can form. The first one stems from monotony,” says Mr. Wonka.

You raise an eyebrow. “Mono-what?”

“Basically if someone is living similar days over and over, they may start to actually live the same day over and over. The way to break a loop formed from monotony is to make a significant change in one’s life.”

“A…significant change…” you say.

“But I don’t think your life is monotonous enough to cause a loop. You were supposed to go to the factory after all! It doesn’t make sense that way,” says Mr. Wonka.

You hear Mike’s teeth explode in the background. You crack your gum. “So what’s the other type of loop then?”

“The other type of loop is more…theoretical. Nothing like it has ever been formally documented. The idea is that a loop could be formed due to a wish.”

“A…wish?” you ask, “Wishes are real?”

He nods. “Wishes are very real. If someone wants something, and they truly mean it from the bottom of their heart, they may manifest that desire into reality. Wishes aren’t understood very well, as most of the studies that were ever done on them were being stored in the library of Alexandria as it burned. What we do know is that they are uniquely powerful, and dangerous.”

You frown. “So, a wish could…make a time loop happen?”

He nods. “Theoretically. Wishes can do pretty much anything. They're so powerful, that they could even affect multiple worlds. String theory is real by the way.”

You shake off the latest revelation and carry on. “But who would wish for a time loop?”

Mr. Wonka stays silent for a moment. “Well…if you’re the only one who’s experiencing it, then it would have to be…you, Violet.”

You stare at him. No, no no. That couldn’t be it. You know it couldn’t.

“But…I never wished for anything!” you cry.

Mr. Wonka shrugs. “I don’t know if there’s any other option. You must have made a wish. It's possible to…”

Everything around you sounds like ocean waves. If you wished for the time loop, if you truly did, then it means…

It’s all your fault.

It’s…all your fault.

Your eyes widen. You start to breathe a little heavier.

It's all your fault that everyone's stuck here. It's all your fault that you can't get out. It's all your fault. It's all your fault. I t s a l l y o u r f a u l t .

Your stomach hurts. Your eyes are stinging. You can't breathe. You can't hear. Mr. Wonka stops talking and asks you something but you can't hear the words coming out of his mouth.

It's all your

You feel     a tug     on     your     stomach

Chapter Text

You wake.

You’re sorry.

Oh, you’re sorry.

You’re so, so sorry.

You’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorryYou’re sorry-

Of course everything is your fault, of course you trapped everyone here somehow. Of course you can’t free them now, because you’re terrible at everything that doesn’t involve screwing up. You are good for nothing. You are a terrible person. You are a terrible friend.

But you’re not even really anyone’s friend, are you? You tricked them all into being your friend, over and over again. Maybe that’s worse. Yeah, that’s definitely worse! You’re a cheater! You’re a terrible awful person, and this is all your fault. It’s all your fault. They’ll be here forever, never changing, never knowing, because of you. They’re trapped, because of you.

It’s all your fault, Violet.

You grit your teeth together, and force yourself up out of bed. You take your gum and jam it into your mouth.

You need to think for a while. You need to remember what you wished for, otherwise everyone’s really going to be stuck here forever.

You glance towards the bathroom, and then glance away. There’s no point anymore. Blue can’t help you. They never could have helped you. You should have stopped going in the moment you learned they didn’t know how to leave. They’re just as useless as you are.

You get dressed. You pull the door open.

The color of the walls make you feel nauseous. It’s an ugly shade of pink. An ugly, disgusting, shade. The bright, sickening color of strawberry taffy. The air smells bad too. It smells like burnt sugar all the time now. Or maybe it always did, and you haven't spent enough time there to notice it. It doesn’t matter. God knows you deserve much more than to feel a little sick.

The others are happy, as always. As always. Though one of them (You aren’t sure which. Their faces are blurring together.) briefly asks you if you are alright. You realize that you must look like a mess. Tangled hair, mussy clothes with buttons hanging loose and open. It doesn’t matter. They’ll forget. They probably don’t think much of you to begin with, so why even try?

You'll just loop back and fix yourself. Yeah, it’ll be fine.

You’ve all made it to the stupid room with the gears. You lean against a railing and stare down at the machinery as Mr. Wonka makes the same dumb speech he always has. You quietly hum a tune you’ve almost forgotten and think about the time you fell into them. You can barely remember back then. The pain you felt has dulled considerably. You're not afraid of it. Your body leans over the railing, you stare at the gears. Something is creaking beneath you. You don't make an effort to move.

Then suddenly, you’re pulled sharply away from the edge. You hear metal fall and twist in the gears. You hear Dad’s voice, loud in your ear, yelling what the hell are you doing. You hear gasps from the other kids and adults. You keep staring at the ground and try to pull away from your father’s grip on your arm.

“Leave me alone,” you mumble.

“Is everything okay Violet?” asks Charlie, the nice one. His voice is too kind.

“Young lady, I hope you’ll be more careful in the future,” says Wonka.

You decide that you hate all of them. “Leave me alone.”

Their voices continue to blur as they seem to converge around you.

“Are you mad?”

“Are you nuts?”

“Are you okay?”

You ball your fists and jerk sharply to the side, freeing yourself from Dad’s grip and then some. You break apart their little circle and send them scattering across the room. You stare at them like a wild animal, they stare back like poachers.

Your words come like a flood. “Leave. Me. Alone. To fix this. You never understand. You forget, every time. It doesn’t matter! None of this does! I hate it here! I wish I’d never gone! So just let me fix this!”

They stare, wide eyed. The whole world seems to go quiet. Your chest hurts.

You turn and run down a random hallway. You run and run, and you don’t look back. You run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run.

You don’t want to run anymore.

…?

Where are you?

You’re not awake anymore. You must have collapsed from exhaustion.

…you’re not asleep either. Something is wrong.

You can’t feel your heart beating, but you’re not dead. Or maybe you are. Maybe you’ve been dead this whole time and you just didn’t notice.

You’re suspended on nothing, looking out at nothing. There’s no one around, and nothing is happening.

Well now there’s something happening. There’s a faint flickering movement ahead. You squint your eyes to see, and your stomach churns. Who…

SCHULD

Who is that? They…look like…you.

You try to move, to get away, but you can’t. You try and try, but you can’t. The figure starts to speak as you struggle. No, no no no

LOOK AT YOU. ALL ALONE. YOU KNEW YOU’D BE.

No

YOU COULDN’T CHANGE ANYTHING. YOU COULDN’T SAVE ANYONE.

No

THERE ARE TWO MANY FORCES AGAINST YOU. YOU’RE NOT ENOUGH.

No

THEY’LL HATE YOU. FOR BEING A CHEATER. FOR TRAPPING THEM. FOR FAILING THEM. THEY’LL HATE YOU FOREVER.

No

YOUR FRIENDSHIPS WITH THEM WEREN’T EVEN REAL. YOU TRICKED THEM.

No

THEY’LL KILL YOU. YOU WON’T WAKE UP AGAIN.

No

IT’S WHAT YOU DESERVE.

No

but

its right

this thing within you is right

they’ll hate you

they’ll kill you

you should give up now

you cant feel anything

you let go

you

let

go

“Over here! I found her!”

Voices swim at the edge of everything. You crack your eyes open, and you can see them.

One of them, a girl, speaks sharply. “There you are. What were you thinking?!”

“That was dumb. Let’s go back,” adds another kid.

“Yeah, let's go back,” says a fat boy.

You don’t move, You stare.

One of them, blonde and way too nice, sighs and crouches down. “Look, we talked to your friend. Blue, was it? And they told us about the whole…thing. I think I understand it now? We think…”

Your head swims the moment you hear the word Blue. They talked to Blue.

The nice kid keeps talking but you don’t hear him. They talked to Blue. Blue told them something. Blue told them everything. They know. They know. They’re going to hate you. They’re going to kill you. They’re going to hate you. They’re going to kill you. They’re going to hate you. They’re going to kill you. They’re going to hate you. They’re going to kill you. They’re going to hate you. They’re going to kill you. No no no NO NO NO

You scramble back. You’re up on your feet. Then you’re more.

You stare down at them. You’re almost crying. You want to go home.

“Violet!”

You try to back away, but you can’t. You can’t get away anymore. You can’t get away you can’t get away you can’t get away you can’t get away-

“Violet! What’s going on! Calm down!”

You don’t know how to reply. You scramble backwards and try to push them farther away. One kid hefts a toy gun. Then something hits your eye and your neck snaps back.

It hurts. You can’t see out of your eye anymore. It hurts it hurts Ithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurts

“Why did you do that?!” the nice one cries.

“She’s gone crazy!” replies the kid with the gun, “I’m defending myself!”.

They're going to kill you. You have to run. You have to fight. You have to explain. You have to listen. You have to scream. You have to shout. You have to stop. You have to run. You have to fight. You have to fight. You have to fight.

You strike wildly, but with your blurring vision, you miss them. It hurts.

“V-Violet! Someone stop her!” the nice one yells. Why should he care, he’s getting what he wanted, right? They’re getting what they wanted, right?

You strike again, and miss again. Your arm is badly scratched, blood dripping down onto your shoes. You can’t run anymore. They’re going to kill you.

“Violet! Get a hold of yourself! You’re acting all wrong!” the girl barks.

“Vhy are you upset? Didn’t you vant to be here?” the other boy adds.

The kid has two of his toy pistols pointed at you. “What’s going on?! What’s wrong with you?!”

“NO NO NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! GET AWAY! PLEASE!” You cry, your voice breaking. You strike and miss. It hurts it hurts it hurts.

“Violet! We’re not going to hurt you!” the nice one yells.

“YOU ARE, YOU ARE! IT’S ALL MY FAULT! I TRAPPED YOU!”

The kid with the guns steps slightly closer. “What are you talking about?!”

You’re full-on sobbing by now, choking out words in between gasps. “I TRAPPED YOU ALL! I CAN’T GET OUT! I CAN’T GET OUT! LET ME OUT! PLEASE!”

“Trapped…huh,” says the nice one, before straightening up. “Listen! When we talked to Blue, they told us a lot of things! Things I didn’t really understand. But, they did mention something about a wish! Did you make a wish? Is that why we’re…trapped?”

They know. It’s over. You strike, it hurts.

“Violet! Please, just tell us the truth!” he cries.

“I CAN’T! I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY!”

“It’s okay, just calm down, we can sort this out!”

“I…I CAN’T…”

“Violet!”

“Violet!”

“Violet!”

“Violet!”

You can’t stand up anymore. Your vision goes white.

Someone is tightly holding onto your hands. Not crushing them, but firmly squeezing them, as if you’re not anchored to the ground. Through your squinty, tearful eyes, you can see the other four children.

“Violet. Just tell us, okay? We won’t be mad, promise.” says Charlie. Always too nice.

You sniffle. It feels pathetic. “I…I don’t remember what I did. So I wasn’t able to fix it. I cheated. And I failed you.”

“Well if it helps, we don’t remember it,” jokes Mike “How long were you here anyway?”

You shrug weakly. “I don’t remember…I stopped counting after a while.”

He sucks in a sharp breath. “Jeez. No wonder you’re such a wreck.”

Veruca leans closer to you. “Violet, are you sure you don’t know what you wished for? Did you want anything? Seriously, anything?”

“I don’t know. I guess I…didn’t want to be…alone. Before. I wanted to be friends. But it wasn’t real. I tricked you.”

“Ve can still be friends! Ve’ll figure it out somehow.”

“But I…but I messed up. I don't…” your voice trails off uselessly. You can't express the way you don't deserve it.

Charlie smiles. It’s kind of like sunshine. “Nothing can’t be fixed.”

They don’t hate you after all. They don’t exactly forgive you, but that’s okay. You aren’t hated.

“...I’m sorry. I don’t want to be alone,” you say quietly.

“You’re not alone.”

You sleep for days. The world doesn’t loop. Things are okay.

You wake up at some point with soft bandages wrapped around the worst of your injuries and a patch over one eye. You don't go home for a really long time. When you're ou wander the factory, both the places you know and the places you don't, usually accompanied by someone that you know is keeping a close watch. For a while, you're keenly aware of missing things, of electronics being absent, of sharp objects deliberately placed out of reach.

You overhear Dad and Mr. Wonka at one point. “Don't you think she should go to a ward? Wouldn’t that be better?”

“On the contrary, Mr Beauregard, I believe that a stay at one of those places would only exacerbate the problem. We're better off keeping her here.”

You don't dwell on it.

The outside world is quickly driven into a confused frenzy by the sudden radio-silence from the factory. A part of you that feels very old wonders how Mr. Wonka is eventually going to explain it all. “One of the participants got trapped in a time loop and broke down and hurt herself badly” sounds silly in a detached way of thinking.

But it's not silly. Not at all.

Sometimes when you're talking to one of the other kids or Dad or Mr. Wonka you realize that you must have said something weird because they’re staring at you. Moments like when you tell Mr. Wonka to get better climbing equipment. Moments where you get nervous in certain rooms. And it's like you can read their mind because you just know that they're wondering which loop that came from. You know more about them than you should. You can't blame them, and you don't blame them, and you won't blame them. To them, you changed overnight.

You spend time with them. You're very glad that you're not alone.

But, something nags at you. You haven't been back to the hotel since. Blue might still be there. If they are, they're all alone. But that's not what's bothering you. What's bothering you is something that Charlie said. That Blue mentioned wishes.

How did Blue know about the wishes?

You eventually return to the hotel. Dad's with you, but he lets you go into the bathroom on your own. You calmly walk in, not run in like you used to, and look around.

Blue isn't there.

You're confused at first, but then you spy something lying on the ground where Blue used to sit.

A piece of gum.

Your piece of gum. Which you lost, back at the final loop. You swallowed it or something, you don't know. You lost track of it, and it was gone, but that was fine.

But you didn't lose it here. So why…

You know what's happening. You look around. “Blue? Blue, I know you’re in here somewhere.”

Suddenly, it's there. Standing right next to you. You've never seen it at its full height. You and Blue are the same height.

It trills. “So, you got out. You know, you-”

“I know what you are,” you say.

It stares at you. Then it blinks. “No you don't. You can't.”

“Blue, why didn't you tell the truth? We could've-”

It leans sharply forward. “No! It was pointless from the beginning!”

“Blue-”

“You were supposed to be trapped! I was supposed to be trapped! I was supposed to give you false hope!”

“Blue-”

“That's how it was!”

You take quite a few steps back. “Blue. Stop freaking out.”

“No! It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair! How come you were able to get out?! What makes you any different from me, Violet?! What makes you different?! Why do you get a happy ending?!” it cries.

“Because of you!”

Blue stops. And stares. “Oh.”

You continue “I think, at least. Blue, you kept me going. You might not have tried, but you did. You gave me ideas. You put me on the right path. You helped! You did.”

“No…I didn't! We knew the same! It didn't matter!” it sounds different, like it's going to cry.

“Did you have a Blue?”

Blue stares at you. It looks so tired all of the sudden.

“I need to go,” it says.

“Hey wait! You can stay if you want.”

“No, you don’t understand. There can’t be two. They wouldn’t understand.”

“Where will you go? Will you be back?”

Blue sighs. “Maybe. I dunno. I’m sorry. Goodbye.”

Then they’re gone. The bathroom is empty once again.

“Goodbye,” you whisper. Soon enough, you leave too.