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Ghezen's last rites and funeral practices were rote in Kaz and Jordie's minds. Their father had been the head of their local church, and as such had been the one to administer such blessings and perform such ceremonies for the townsfolk who had passed. Liij, two towns over, was the closest place with another priest of Ghezen, and it was far too late to send for him before morning. Da would lie in state. The town Undertaker would preserve him temporarily, until the proper job could be done at first light. Then the rites of passage and mourning can be prepared and held for Magnus.
The tradition stated that the family stay with the body as it lie in state, opening the nearest window for a few hours and keeping the front door unlocked until the time came for the celebration of accomplishments and the last services be administered. Kaz couldn't stay this still forever. Freshly out of a panic that still tiptoed at the edges of his thoughts, his body was tired from running and standing so much, and playing before this had all happened only added to that exhaustion.
Da's body, on the fields he loved so much, cut in half by the plow that always gave him issues. His scream, his cry for help that had brought Jordie and Kaz running. Jordie's face going pale at the sight, doffing his own jacket to attempt to soak up some of the blood, while yelling at Kaz to go get help. The blood So much blood. So much of Da had been wrongside out.
Da hadn't said a word to Kaz. Not his old name, not anything else. That stuck with Kaz, and would for his days. He focused solely on Jordie. His cry had been for Jordie. Because Jordie was the eldest son, Jordie was the one Da had favored, the one Da had dreamed of leaving the farm to one day . The one he would tell stories of Ma and Da's younger days to in Old Kerch when he didn't think Kaz knew it yet. The one he would reminisce with sitting on the back steps watching the sun melt, proud hand on Jordie's shoulder.
Kaz was good at being invisible. He'd always been.
"Kazzie." Jordie whispered, bringing Kaz back to the present from his memory of two hours ago at most. Kaz blinked back and snapped to attention, looking up at Jordie expectantly. Jordie put both his hands on Kaz's shoulders as he looked down at him. Kaz could tell Jordie was trying his best to smile, trying to comfort Kaz with the familiar sight of his big brother smiling. But the sadness of the scene was inescapable, the smile didn't even reach his brother's cheeks as he spoke, "Do you want to position Da's hands with me?"
Positioning the hands after death was a common Ghezen tradition. The family -in this case, two orphaned boys neither of which quite in their teens- set the loved one's hand before they'd go stock still and couldn't be adjusted for an extended period of time. The left hand goes over the heart on the chest, usually to show a wedding ring but also in reverence for Ghezen, where the right one is positioned beneath it on the chest, palm up towards the chin, as if they were offering something to someone.
The belief was that the person was offering their life of service to Ghezen, and the body should reflect that. The spirit behind it was that others may be inspired to do so by their passed loved one. Kaz thought it just looked funny. But he didn't know any other way.
With a nod from Kaz, Jordie turned back to the Deacon who had been supervising the affair, "We'll do it."
The Deacon bowed his head in acknowledgement and approval, opening the book he had brought, the Rite of Committal of Service to Ghezen, and began to read aloud as they began.
Holy Ghezen, may you reach your hand out to receive your faithful servant this night.
Kaz crawled up onto the bed, slowly, nervously approaching his father's side, careful not to mess with any of the pillows that supported him or his...injuries. Jordie approached on the bedside and Kaz could see his nerves from a mile away. He had a constant frown on his face, eyes looking down at their father with tears brimming but not quite falling. His lips were pursed shut, and Kaz could tell it was on purpose. He was holding himself together.
Now Kaz and Jordie had been to multiple Committal services before. It came with being the bishop's kids. But their coffins had been closed. They'd never seen a dead body before. At least Kaz hadn't.
That's when Kaz realized, Jordie had. The day Kaz had been born.
He was remembering Ma.
Kaz reached for his father's hand, and instantly it felt wrong. Kaz hadn't held his father's hand much in life, but it still didn't sit right in his mind. His father's hands were calloused, strong, and wrinkly from being in the sun all day on the farm. This was cold, rough, and slightly sagging. There was no pulse. There was just cold and swollen. Kaz scrunched his nose with his frown at the feeling.
He has worked in your name from the day he was brought into this world and provided others with the means to profit and trade for you.
Kaz shrunk back at the first touch of his father's now alien hand. His shoulders squeezed together as they rose and his grimace was hard to keep from bearing. It felt wrong. That's not how his Da felt! Something's wrong with Da and they need to fi-
"Easy, Kaz." Jordie muttered and Kaz met his eyes. Jordie had placed Da's left hand over his not-beating heart in the time it had taken Kaz to react to his first touch of a corpse. Jordie's hand lingered over Da's wedding ring, he must still be thinking about Ma, Kaz reasoned.
"It's icky!" Kaz stage whispered, "It doesn't feel right!"
"Pretend it's one of your old dolls. Remember them?" Jordie tried to soothe, and Kaz hated that it worked, "Pretend you're posing a doll that looks like Da for him. Can you do that? Would it help?"
Kaz still frowned, but nodded and reached his hands forward again. Pretend it's a doll. Easy enough, right? Kaz had only played with a couple dolls, they never held his interest, but he could remember posing them. They had felt cold too, lifeless.
He took Da's-no, doll Da's hand in his. It was bigger than his but that wasn't important here. Big doll. He formed a cup with doll Da's hand, and turned the palm so it would face up towards Da's chin.
For you are holy and in trade and commerce we see your hand.
Kaz carefully scurried off the bed, wanting to wash the icky feeling off his hands. Jordie helped him down, his small proud smile a welcome respite from the dark clouds that surrounded them here.
"Promise me somethin, Jojo." Kaz thought aloud, as the Deacon excused himself for a brief moment or two.
"Anything, Kazzie." Jordie seemed to relax when the Deacon left them, wrapping his arm around Kaz and sitting them both down on the floor of their father's bedroom.
"Promise me you won't leave me like Da left us. Like Ma left us." Kaz admitted, a well of emotions he kept in check leaking through, "Jojo I don't know what I would do without-"
"Hey hey hey hey hey-" Jordie soothed immediately, embracing his little brother as they sat, patting his back as Kaz regained composure, "I'm with you forever, Kazzie. I'm never leaving you."