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He found her where he knew she’d be.
Anthony brought his horse to a halt, his breath catching at the sight of her. She was a silhouette against the morning light, her figure so achingly familiar it made his chest tighten. The wind played with the loose strands of her braid, the same braid she’d worn when he first met her in this very park. She sat tall, as though bracing herself against some unseen storm.
She turned her head as he dismounted, her dark eyes finding his with an expression he couldn’t quite name. It wasn't a surprise. No, she’d known he would come.
“Miss Sharma,” he said, his voice rough with the weight of all the things he could not say.
“My lord.” Her reply was soft but unyielding, a rebuke in its formality.
He tugged off his gloves and glanced down at them, frowning as though the leather held some answer. Then, with a sharp exhale, he looked up. “I see you continue here with your morning rides.”
“And you continue to intrude upon them,” she murmured, though there was no heat to her words.
His lips quirked despite himself. It was a pale imitation of his usual smile, one that vanished the moment her gaze met his. There was nothing in her eyes but a quiet, steely resolve.
Anthony took a step forward, the reins slack in his hand. “I couldn’t sleep.”
Kate’s jaw tightened, but she didn’t look away. “Nor could I.”
The admission hung between them, stark and heavy, like a blade that had already drawn blood.
“Kate.” Her name left him on a broken whisper as he stepped closer, his hand running through his disheveled hair. “Last night, my behavior was appalling. I should not have spoken the way I did.”
She stiffened in her saddle, the reins clutched so tightly her knuckles blanched. “No,” she said. “You should not have. What purpose did it serve, Lord Bridgerton? To torment me further? To make this impossible situation even worse than it already is?”
He winced as if she’d struck him. “You think I meant to hurt you?”
“What else could it mean?” she demanded, sliding off her mare in a single fluid motion. The hem of her riding habit swished against her boots as she turned to face him, eyes blazing. “You spoke of desires and devotions—of things you had no intention of honoring. And then you expect me to simply endure it?”
Anthony closed the distance between them, his voice hoarse. “Do you think I do not endure it, Kate? Do you think I sleep soundly at night, knowing I have bound myself to a promise that denies me everything I truly want? Everything I cannot stop wanting?”
Her breath hitched audibly, her expression faltering for the briefest moment before she drew herself up again. “You proposed to my sister,” she said, her voice sharp with accusation. “You walked past me as though I were nothing. You chose this path. Why? Why did you even propose if this was how you truly felt?”
His face crumpled, the weight of her words striking him to his core. “Because I was a coward,” he admitted, the words falling from his lips like stones. “I thought I could outrun it—this thing between us. I thought I could spare us both the pain, the scandal, the ruin. But I was wrong. I see that now. I have caused you nothing but pain, and in doing so, I have damned myself.”
Kate’s lips parted, her breath unsteady as his words broke through her defenses.
“I cannot do this, Kate,” he continued, his voice trembling with anguish. “I cannot live a life without you in it. I thought I could bury these feelings, that duty and reason would be enough. But every moment I am away from you feels like a lifetime. Every time I see you, it’s as though the world rights itself again, if only for a second. You are—you are everything to me.”
Tears welled in her eyes, but she shook her head fiercely. “And what of Edwina? My sister is in love with you. You would shatter her dreams, her future—”
“She deserves more than a dream built on lies,” he said fiercely. “And so do you.”
Kate shook her head, her tears spilling over despite her resolve. “This is madness,” she whispered. “There’s no way out.”
“There is.” Anthony stepped closer, his dark eyes searching hers, filled with a desperate resolve. “Let me make this right, Kate. For you. Between Lady Danbury and my mother, they could plan half a dozen excuses that would shield your family from harm. They would manage it; you know they would.” His gaze burned with anguish. “Allow me to bear the blame, Kate. I beg you, let me shoulder it. Let me put an end to this madness before I destroy all of us.”
Her tears spilled over now, carving silent paths down her cheeks. “You speak as though it is so simple. As though you can wave your hand and undo the damage.”
“It isn’t simple,” he said, his voice breaking. “But it is necessary. Do you want your sister to live a lie? To marry a man whose heart is elsewhere?” His voice cracked, the confession hanging between them. “Would you condemn her to that fate, knowing the truth of it?”
She faltered, her hands trembling as they fell to her sides.
“I tried to stay away from you,” he said desperately. “God, I tried. But I cannot. Every path I take leads me back to you. Every thought I have begins and ends with you. You are the only truth I know, Kate. And I will bear any consequence, face any scandal, if it means sparing us both a lifetime of regret.”
Her chin trembled, her resolve slipping as his words burrowed into the tender places she’d tried to protect. “You are asking me to trust you,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “When you have done nothing but hurt me.”
“I know,” he said, his hand rising as though to touch her before falling back to his side. “And I would spend the rest of my life making amends for it, if you would let me. Please, Kate. Let me fix this.”
She stared at him, her heart warring with her mind, every instinct screaming at her to retreat before she lost herself entirely.
But she didn’t move.
And when he reached for her hand, this time, she did not pull away.