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The infamous second lead. The character that is always taken for granted. The side character of the story who simply has to sit back and watch the main lead steal the love of their life. No matter how much they love the protagonist, no matter how much more compatible and better they are for them, they always get rejected and pushed to the side to make room for the other lead. That’s their purpose in life. To always be the runner-up in romance.
Beomgyu thought that was a load of shit. And so unfair. Even as he read his most recent endeavor in romance literature, Only You, he thought it was cruel. The victim this time: Kai Kamal Huening. Better known as just “Kai” in the novel, but he was the type of person to not care what name you used for him. The cute foreign boy with a sharp jawline that was sweet, caring, warm, would fight hordes of zombies for you, the kind of boy that would never let you feel alone as long as he could help it. That breed of second male lead. He was created to love the main character, Choi Soorin, but, of course, during the advancing of the plot, she fell for the main male lead, Kang Taehyun.
Choi Beomgyu, the reader, would forever curse Soorin for choosing Taehyun over Kai.
“WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE THAT ASSHOLE OF A MAIN LEAD, KANG TAEHYUN? I understand, you think he’s misunderstood, he’s not really a bad boy just traumatized, but Kai would be so much better for you Soorin!! Actually, no. Scratch that. You don’t deserve him! Kai, give me a chance! I can treat you better than that dense girl.” Beomgyu dramatically announced, laying his head on his desk with a pout on his face. If Beomgyu didn’t live alone now, his roommate would definitely complain about his volume.
Beomgyu definitely fit the bookworm stereotype. He was a college student, he wore glasses when he read, he spent so much time in the library it was practically his second home, and, to top it all off, he was a literature major. If anyone believed in the stereotype, Beomgyu was here to fuel that belief. Apart from that, his life was pretty boring, not even a touch of romance in it whatsoever. Unless, of course, you counted the over one-hundred romance novels he read in the last three years. He didn’t have a lot of friends, but he didn’t feel the need to. Novels and stories were cozy enough anyway; he thoroughly loved reading his romance novels despite the never-ending ache in his chest to be loved like the protagonists in his favorite novels.
His newest book was no exception. He was absolutely obsessed with Kai after reading his first interaction with the protagonist. His ending only left Beomgyu bitter and with a sour feeling spreading through his chest. Kai deserved better. Kai deserved someone like Beomgyu. Scratch that, Kai deserved Beomgyu. But Beomgyu could find a million reasons why he didn’t deserve Kai. So, he left that thought at that.
But the ache still wouldn’t go away, no matter how much he thought about it.
“If only I was the author. I would give Kai the happy ending he truly deserves.” Beomgyu mumbled, flopping onto his bed with a pout.
He sighed heavily, before blinking silently. Suddenly, his eyes lit as a thought formed in his mind. What if he wrote a sequel? Just for his eyes only. A sequel where Kai experienced the love he truly deserved. A love Beomgyu endlessly fantasized and reveled at.
“Let’s begin.” He whispered, opening his computer to a blank document. He smirked. Just you wait, Soorin. I’m gonna make you suffer for choosing Kang Taehyun.
🩵
Beomgyu has only really dabbled in writing before, so to take on a whole sequel to a full-length novel as his first serious venture into writing would definitely be a challenge. But, Beomgyu was nothing if not determined and persistent .
It was easy to get too immersed in his story. He was simply devoted; not only to the story, but to making Kai and his happy ending as sweet as he could. What was writing, if not an expression of the tiny cracks of pure love in Beomgyu’s soul? This story, with Kai, with the Kai he dreamed of and conjured in his mind would be his and his alone. This Kai, with all his self-deprecating tendencies, all of his kind-heartedness that was too passive for his own good, with all his pure, unbridled, soft, mushy, tender love that was contained in his body, just waiting to burst. This Kai would be his, even if he had to beg the heavens for it.
When he was away from his computer, all he could think about was Kai. His mind was constantly producing new ideas when he was away from his desk. He wished he didn’t have any other responsibilities. It was easy to get addicted to this writing thing.
He sighed heavily, standing up from his desk and checking the time. “Maybe I should just quit my job. I’d much rather spend all my time writing anyway. But…I do need the money. Just wait for me, Kai. I’ll be back for you!” He whispered tenderly, dramatics on display as he gingerly cradled his laptop. He grabbed his bag, quickly leaving his room and locking his door.
“I’ll be waiting.”
🩵
It had been merely only a week, yet Beomgyu was making progress like no author on the face of the planet. He had always been quick-paced with things he was passionate about, this time was no different.
Nineteen chapters. Over 180 pages of his life blood, tears, and being poured into this story. 180 pages of him falling more in love with Kai every minute of every day. Oh, the ache was almost unbearable. This never-ending ache enveloped Beomgyu so tenderly he wished he would stop existing. He wished there was never a being in this real world named Choi Beomgyu, but rather only a fictional version of him that existed only in the world of Only You.
If Beomgyu was writing this for anyone but himself, most would probably say he’s being very unprofessional. Falling in love with your main character? What kind of author does that? Beomgyu ached for Kai in not even a way Kai would be able to grasp if he was real.
Now that he was so close to finishing, he was feeling a little down. His time with Kai would soon be over. Well, his fictional alter’s time. He doubted he would ever forget the impact Kai has had on him. It was common for him to fall for fictional characters like this. But there was something different about Kai. Beomgyu could really imagine spending the rest of his life with Kai. Waking up next to him every morning; kissing him tenderly; making unforgettable memories with him. If Kai wasn’t the love of his whole life, Beomgyu’s sure he would be the death of him.
But, sadly, they were never meant to be. They were star-crossed lovers from the moment Beomgyu read Kai’s first line. If he was in the book this would be so much easier. Is that weird? That he’d rather be a fictional version of himself rather than live as a human being anymore? The best parts of Beomgyu made up the perfect protagonist that ended up with Kai in the book. Why couldn’t he be that Beomgyu?
“What’s the point? I can’t live with him anyway. He doesn’t even know the true me. Just the perfect me.” Beomgyu flopped his head onto his desk, tears swelling in his eyes as he spoke to himself.
“I see the real you, hyung. I love the real you.”
Beomgyu shot his head up from his desk, eyes wide as he looked around his room. Where did that voice come from? At first, Beomgyu thought it was just him hallucinating. His delusions of Kai getting the better of him. But this was the second time today the voice spoke to him, and the fifteenth time a random voice comforted him as he took a break from writing. Maybe he was dreaming. Maybe he was in some kind of fever-dream from his bout of the flu he recovered from two weeks ago and he was in the hospital conjuring this all up in his mind.
This dumb hyung. I can tell what he’s thinking just by judging his expression. How do I get him to believe me?
Little did Beomgyu know the truth. Not only was Kai real, but he was a sentient being in the universe of his own novel. The boy didn’t really know how it happened in the first place––he had a strange dream the day after Soorin told him she started going out with Taehyun, and suddenly he was aware of his manufactured existence. All at once he was aware that they were all living in a story; a world conjured by someone else where Kai never gets his way. It made him sink into his bed, the boy suddenly feeling tiny and fragile. But then, he heard a voice.
“If only I was the author. I would give Kai the happy ending he truly deserves.”
The voice sounded bitter. Compassionate. Deeply emotional for Kai’s situation, despite not knowing he existed. It sparked something in him that he had never felt before––not even for Soorin. His cheeks painted pink as he stood on his bed, clutching his hand tightly over his heart. A glimmer entered his eye. He looked around, heart bouncing around his chest as he searched for the voice again. He looked toward the door, lowering his hand from his heart slowly as he walked closer to it. He shakily opened the door, light instantly blinding his vision. Once the light diminished, Kai squinted as his vision cleared, a figure appearing before him. His eyes silently widened as he gazed at the man before him. Wow.
This man was beautiful. From his sharp jawline, to the natural pout gracing his lips, to the glint of his eyes behind his glasses. Kai’s breath caught in his throat as he stared at the man silently, cheeks tinting a deep pink. Was this the same man he heard not even a minute earlier?
“Let’s begin.” He whispered, smirk gracing his face. Kai inhaled deeply, buzz rising in his skin as he pushed the door closed again and ran to his bed. Yep. Yep, that’s definitely him. He ducked his reddening face into his pillow, long legs smacking the end of his bed softly. Calm down heart. He’s just a handsome stranger who feels sorry for you. He’s not important at all.
And then he met him. Again. But it wasn’t him. It was some bizarro-perfect version of him. Kai did not like him. He reeked of fake-perfectness. But, each night, exactly at 11:10pm, he opened his door and saw the real Beomgyu again. The one he truly loved; not the one manufactured to make Kai fall in love with. He saw Beomgyu’s flaws and loved them anyway. If he could, he would run his hands over Beomgyu’s flaws and pour all of his love into them. He ached to comfort his real hyung. Alas, he was trapped in the canon; cursed to love the manufactured Beomgyu he didn’t truly love. Tonight was no different. He’d return to his door as he did this past week, skin buzzing with excitement and fear and unbridled love for Beomgyu. Oh, to be trapped in a cruel cycle of seeing your fake love every morning while yearning for your real love to notice you every night. The author and their original character. Cursed, to forever be unrequited and tragic lovers.
Except, there was something different about tonight. Kai could open his door at 10pm. And he gazed at Beomgyu softly. God, he loved this man. Even just sitting there, clacking away at his computer, pushing his glasses up from the base of his nose, he was so good. Not perfect. Good. Just like Kai.
Beomgyu was coming up on the last page of the sequel now. Part of him felt tender. Part of him felt sensitive. But most of all, he felt bitter to see it all end. This would be the end for his Beomgyu, but not himself.
“I love you, Kai. So much. You’re the only one for me, I fear.” Beomgyu stared at his computer screen, a tender tone in his voice. Genuine. If Kai’s eyes weren’t glistening with tears before, they certainly were now.
“I love you too, hyung. Only you.” Kai whispered, throat choked with too much emotion. Oh, if only he were real. He’d squeeze his Beomgyu-hyung and never let go.
It was getting late. Beomgyu should be going to bed soon. But Kai wanted to savor these last few moments with him before it all inevitably ended. Beomgyu looked at his alarm clock. 11:10pm. He sighed to himself, looking toward his computer once more before closing his eyes. Kai closed his eyes as well, sitting on his floor, legs dangling at the threshold of the door.
“I wish you were real Kai.”
“I wish I was real, hyung.”
They whispered simultaneously, the clock striking 11:11 .
Beomgyu sighed, bitterly typing The End on the screen. He closed his laptop, solemn expression on his face. I should get to bed. I need to wake up early tomorrow.
He changed into his pajamas, a thoughtful expression on his face.
“Get over him, Gyu. Kai is fictional. He can never be real, no matter how much you wish. Just go to sleep.” Beomgyu mumbled sadly as he tucked himself into his covers, shutting his eyes solemnly.
While sleeping, he dreamed. He dreamed a sweet dream of Kai, the boy sleeping next to him warmly as Beomgyu carded his fingers through the boy’s hair affectionately. He promptly awoke, rubbing his eyes as he stood up in his bed.
“What a silly dream. I need help. Who dreams of a character? ” Beomgyu mumbled as he rubbed his hand over his eyes.
“What dream, hyung?” Kai whispered from beside Beomgyu, soft tone evident in his voice.
“Oh, just––” Beomgyu flinched, slowly turning to the side with wide eyes. He gazed at the man on the right side of him, mouth falling ajar. He looked just like he imagined. “Kai?” He whispered, eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“Come on, hyung. We should go back to bed. You need more sleep.” Kai stood up in his bed, grabbing Beomgyu’s hand softly. His eyebrows silently furrowed, “You okay, hyung?” He tilted his head, ever supportive, just like Beomgyu conjured him up to be.
“I––is this real? Is this really happening?” Beomgyu laid his hand on Kai’s cheek softly, tears falling from his eyes as his lips curled into a smile. “Oh, I don’t care. Hug me, Kai. Love me.” He wrapped his arms around Kai’s torso, the younger boy smiling and instantly hugging him back. “Never let me go. Even if its only for tonight.” Beomgyu whispered, inhaling Kai’s cologne, a soft hint of vanilla filling his senses. Kai was so Kai; he was just like Beomgyu imagined.
“It’s not only for tonight, but I’ll hold onto you as long as you want.” Kai whispered preciously, Beomgyu’s hold on him tightening silently.
“H––how is this possible, actually? I––I can’t believe it. I wished for you and it actually came true.” Beomgyu fell back onto his bed, pulling Kai down with him as the younger smiled, eyes glistening.
“I’m not 100% sure either…but however it happened, I don’t really care. What matters now is that I’m here with you, and I’m not going anywhere. I’m real…and I’m all yours. I love you, hyung.” Kai smiled, rubbing his thumb on Beomgyu’s cheek softly.
“I…I love you too, Kai. Forever.” Beomgyu smiled, snuggling closer to Kai.
And so, they fell asleep in each other’s arms, huddled by each other’s warmth. Beomgyu’s fictional love came true; the love he previously thought cursed turned into a miracle. And for that, he would forever praise the heavens.
Fin