Archive of Our Own ^beta

It was nice to be out again, being part of the community here in Atlantis. He'd been pretty much holed up in his rooms, both the one he'd shared with Daisy and his new one with Sharon, ever since getting out of the medical ward right before Christmas. About the only time he'd gone out was for the dinner his friends had taken him out to the Sunday after his birthday, and he'd been glad it was a nice, low-key affair.

Physically, he was healed, thanks to Rose's friend, but his head was still kind of a mess. Not as bad as it had been before; the confusion was gone these days, since it had been explained that any injuries that had to do with the physical injuries done to him would be completely healed with the healing process, and it seemed that that had been part of the head trauma. The pain in his body was gone, too, and that made it easier to sleep.

But the changes in his personality that crept up every so often, the fact he had thoughts about taking more risks, the fact he had night terrors still...that had just gotten worse.

He had gone through a lot of work in San Francisco before he was allowed to re-captain the Enterprise for the five year mission in deep space, probably more psych work-ups than any of the other crew going on the mission had. There had been counselors on board the ship and he had taken advantage of them. Bones had helped with the other things, like being able to deal with things he hadn't felt comfortable doing or had associated with Khan or Marcus and had an outright fear of doing. But then he had ended up here, and there was the mission, and when he woke up he was confronted with two men who were near twins of the asshole. It had caused an outright panic attack the first time he saw them on the boards, but fortunately Nyota and Bones got him calmed down. Now that the confusion had gone away, he knew they were facetwins, not Khan.

Didn't matter now, though. They were gone. But he knew he had to be prepared for them, or other facetwins of Khan or Marcus, to show up again. He had to get better, get a grip on everything. But that could wait until tomorrow. Tonight he was allowing himself a taste of freedom, and as Nyota took her bows on stage from her open mic song, he grinned and clapped as loudly as he possibly could. When she came back over to the table, he leaned over and brushed a kiss to her cheek. "I really hope that song wasn't meant for me. Or for Spock," he said.

“Hmm, past you, maybe,” she teased him. She couldn’t help grinning at the comment and the fact that he seemed to be okay being out tonight. Ever since the mission to Narnia, he hadn’t exactly been himself and she’d been worried. She’s tried not to worry too much and to let him have the time he needed to heal mentally from his near death experience, but it was nice to see him out and smiling like this again.

“I should make my next one a love song and then you’ll really wonder,” she joked. She hopes he knew she was kidding, anyway, and that it would definitely be him she was singing to in that case. Things with Spock had been pretty much over even before they’d all gotten stuck here, but her feelings for Jim had only grown in the last couple of months.

"Past me I can live with," he said with a chuckle, reaching over for her hand. It was nice being out with her tonight. He'd partially hoped more people could join them but he could see why they hadn't. Daisy had guy troubles and right now one of two said guys was in medical, Molly had just lost two friends from home in a matter of days and she'd been having dreams as well, so she'd said she was having an early evening and he knew there wasn't a force on earth that could pry Bones from her side, Sharon was on the mission and so was Zane, and Spock was doing other stuff, which was good. He knew it might have been awkward if it was just the three of them.

Besides, it wasn't like he didn't like alone time with Nyota. But she had one of the nicest voices he'd heard in a long time and really, more people should have come out to support her. He was hoping others he didn't know as well were, at least.

He laughed when she made the comment about the love song, feeling a bit better that she could crack a joke like that. There were still times he felt guilty, even now. He knew in their future, it was different, but where he was from, they did still love each other and they had been happy. But he didn't want to give her up. He would have, if she and Spock had decided to reconcile, but it would have hurt like hell, and he doubted he could have remained friends with either of them. His family would have been broken. He knew he was damn luckier than Daisy was going to be, and he was going to make sure he was there for her so she didn't lose any more of her makeshift family, whatever happened.

"I don't know," he said, watching as her fingers glided over the ring Spock had given him for Christmas, the one that would let him know if she was in trouble. Probably one of the best damn gifts ever given to him, really. "I could get up and sing...I don't know..." He thought of the songs he knew to think of what he could sing. "'Electric Chair' by Prince. That should raise your eyebrow a little. You may not know who I'm intending it for."

It would have been nice to have more of their friends here tonight, but she didn’t mind it being just the two of them, either. Really, she was just glad she’d convinced him to venture out of his room for a while and do something sociable.

“Maybe we should just do a duet,” she suggested. Even though there were plenty of people around, it felt kind of like they were in their own little world for a moment as she smiled at him and laced her fingers through his.

“I’m glad you decided to join me tonight, you know,” she said a little more seriously.

"I could go for a duet," he said with a nod. There was something about being around her that made him feel better, he realized. Not that he demanded she be there all the time, because he knew she had friends and a life of her own, but it made it easier to be the old him. The sociable, laid back, friendly him. He was grateful for that.

"Yeah?" he asked, running his thumb over their knuckles. "Well, I'm glad you talked me into coming out. Maybe I'll be a little more sociable without you-know-who's facetwins here." He paused. "I'm sorry Sherlock left, though. He sounded decent, unlike the other one. If there was anyone I would have preferred trying to get used to being around, it would have been him."

“I’m sorry for Molly,” she admitted, “but I’m not really sorry they’re both gone. I know he’s one of Molly’s best friends and Dr. McCoy seemed to like him, but it was still hard having to see them around all the time.” They’d all been victims of Khan’s. It had happened longer ago for her and Spock, but that didn’t make it much easier to have a reminder walking around Atlantis.

She knew it had been hard on Jim, too, and she was glad he didn’t have to had that reminder of Khan, either, especially when he seemed to be coping better with things. She hoped he really would feel like coming out more often and doing the things he’d liked doing before more. This was definitely a good start.

He nodded, leaning forward just slightly to get closer. Not that they weren’t close most of the time; aside from when she was at her post or with friends they spent a lot of time together. He didn’t want her tethered to him, because he knew her well enough to know eventually things would get dicey between them. But even when it wasn’t just the two of them, staying close was his preferred way to be.

“Well, she’s got one of the best men I know there to help her out,” he said. “I think if anyone can make her feel better even though she lost her friends, it’s Bones.” He didn’t mention how Bones had helped him deal with losing Pike after he’d woken up from the dead, and how much it had helped. Tonight was not the time for that. In fact, maybe it was time for a new topic.

“So, duets,” he said, giving her a cocky grin. “I’m up for anything, but suggest ‘Agony’ and I may sleep closer to the kitten tonight.”

“What is it with you and that song?” Uhura shook her head and laughed. She didn’t particularly want to sing something like that, anyway, but she was amused he had brought it up. She thought about it for a moment, trying to come up with a serious suggestion.

Finally, she grinned at him, sure she had a winner. “You're The One That I Want,” she decided. “You can channel your inner Travolta. It’ll be fun.” Most of the music others were performing was classical to them and the song she’d picked out wasn’t an exception to that, but it was fun and upbeat, which was just what they needed after everything he’d been through recently.

Of course, she was also prepared if he needed to be talked into it.

“Blame Rose and her discovery I can sing just as well as Pine,” he said with a chuckle. “I think she’s got a bet with Daisy about who’s going to get me to sing it first. The answer being, of course, no one. I’ll sing Johnny Depp’s part first.”

He laughed at her choice. “Oh, man, that’s...that’s classic even compared to my taste,” he said. “But it’s not a bad song. I think as long as neither of us get an urge to act out scenes from a golden oldie we should be fine.” He paused. “Though I'll try and figure out how to get a letterman’s jacket here if you’ll wear Sandy’s retro outfit at least once.”

Nyota grinned back at him. “You know, I think that can be arranged,” she said. “Maybe not in the next 5 minutes, but eventually we can probably make it happen.” She leaned a little closer to him. “Even if it's just for us,” she murmured pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

A moment later, it was their turn to take the stage. “Shall we?” she asked, holding out her hand to him with a smile.

He took her hand and, very quickly, brought it up to his lips. When he was done he kept hold of it as they made their way to the stage. There could definitely be some perks to doing this more often, he thought to himself. Definite very enjoyable perks.