Archive of Our Own ^beta

Yushi had always been meticulous about his suppressants. Ever since his first year at university, he'd relied on them to mask every trace of his omega traits. The sharp lines of his personality, his relentless drive, his reputation—all of it hinged on suppressing the part of him that others might see as weak.

But as his doctor had warned him a few months ago, the strain was starting to show. The headaches were growing unbearable, striking at the worst times. His focus wavered during study sessions, and he found himself snapping at Jaehee more than usual.

Jaehee, ever patient, brushed it off with a smile. "I know you're just stressed," he'd say, leaning down to kiss Yushi's temple. But Yushi knew it was more than stress.

The two had been dating for nearly two years now. Jaehee, now a junior, had grown into his role as a leader in the Student Affairs Committee, filling the space Yushi had left when he stepped down to focus on his final year. Their relationship had matured, but Yushi still struggled with vulnerability, especially when it came to the physical reality of being an omega.

Yushi had been careful not to let Jaehee know about his worsening condition. He hated the idea of worrying Jaehee or, worse, being seen as fragile.
But the truth was catching up to him.

It was a Friday afternoon when Yushi's world tilted sideways. He'd been working on his thesis in the library when a wave of dizziness swept over him. His hands trembled as he reached for his water bottle, only to knock it over.

"Yushi?"

He looked up to see Jaehee, concern etched across his face. Jaehee had stopped by the library to check on him, as he often did between classes.

"I'm fine," Yushi muttered, rubbing his temple.
Jaehee crouched down beside him, gently picking up the fallen water bottle. "You don't look fine."
"I'm just tired," Yushi insisted, avoiding Jaehee's gaze.
Jaehee didn’t press, but his worried expression lingered as he helped Yushi gather his things.

By the time they reached Yushi's apartment, his headache had intensified. He dropped onto the couch, closing his eyes as he tried to will the pain away.

Jaehee sat beside him, his brow furrowed. "Have you been sleeping enough?"
Yushi groaned. "I said I'm fine, Jaehee. You don’t have to hover."
"I'm not hovering," Jaehee replied softly. "I’m just... worried."

Yushi opened his eyes, meeting Jaehee's concerned gaze. For a moment, the walls he'd so carefully built wavered.

"I went to the doctor a few months ago," Yushi admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "She said the suppressants might stop working soon."
Jaehee blinked, caught off guard by the confession. "Stop working? What does that mean?"
"It means..." Yushi hesitated, his hands clenching into fists. "It means I can't keep hiding. My body's already showing signs—headaches, exhaustion, all of it."

Jaehee reached out, covering Yushi's hand with his own. "Why didn’t you tell me earlier?"
"Because it’s my problem," Yushi said, pulling his hand away. "You don’t need to get involved."
"Yushi," Jaehee said firmly, his voice steady despite the storm of emotions swirling in his chest. "I want to be involved. You don’t have to go through this alone."

Yushi looked away, the vulnerability in Jaehee’s voice making his chest tighten.

The following week, the symptoms worsened. Yushi started missing classes, his exhaustion making it impossible to keep up with his usual schedule. Jaehee stayed by his side as much as he could, juggling his studies and committee responsibilities with caring for Yushi.

But the strain was evident. Yushi hated being seen like this—weak, vulnerable, and dependent. And Jaehee, for all his patience and devotion, couldn’t shake the fear that Yushi was pulling away from him.

One evening, as they sat in Yushi’s living room, Jaehee finally voiced the question that had been gnawing at him.
“Do you trust me?” he asked, his voice quiet but unwavering.

Yushi froze, his teacup hovering mid-air. “What kind of question is that?”
“A serious one,” Jaehee said. “Do you trust me enough to let me help you? Or are you going to keep shutting me out?”

Yushi set the cup down, his hands trembling. “It’s not about trust, Jaehee. It’s about me handling my own problems.”
“Sometimes handling things on your own isn’t the answer,” Jaehee said gently. “Let me be here for you, Yushi. You don’t have to carry everything by yourself.”

Yushi stared at him, the weight of his words sinking in. Slowly, he nodded, the smallest crack appearing in his defenses.
Jaehee smiled, reaching out to take Yushi’s hand. “That’s all I needed to know.”

🌳🐈

The sterile smell of the clinic hung in the air as Yushi sat on the examination table, his legs swinging slightly. He hated being here. The clinical white walls, the faint hum of the fluorescent lights—it all made him feel exposed. Vulnerable.

Jaehee sat a few feet away in the only chair in the room, his posture tense. He had insisted on coming with Yushi, though he hadn’t said much since they’d arrived. Yushi couldn’t blame him. He hadn’t been the easiest person to be around lately.

When Dr. Lee walked in, her expression was calm, but her eyes were sharp, assessing. She offered a polite nod to both of them before taking a seat and flipping through Yushi’s file.
"Alright, Yushi," she began, her tone professional but not unkind. "As we discussed in your previous visits, the suppressant you've been taking for the past three years has reached its limit. It's no longer effective at suppressing your heat cycle, and continuing to use it is causing strain on your body. The worsening headaches and fatigue are clear indicators of that."

Yushi nodded stiffly, his fingers gripping the edge of the table. He had heard this before. He had even known this would happen eventually. But hearing it again, so matter-of-factly, still made his stomach twist.

"The best course of action," Dr. Lee continued, "is to stop the suppressant entirely. Your body needs to return to its natural cycle. The longer you suppress your heat, the more strain it puts on your overall health. Ignoring this could lead to long-term complications."

Yushi swallowed hard. He had always relied on the suppressant as a shield. Without it, he would be exposed for what he truly was. No more blending in, no more hiding behind the illusion of normalcy.

"How... how bad will it get?" he asked, his voice quieter than he intended.

Dr. Lee's gaze softened. "The first few cycles will likely be intense. Your body has been suppressed for years, so it will take time to regulate itself. But with proper care and preparation, you’ll get through it."

Beside him, Jaehee finally spoke. "What can we do to help him during that time?" His voice was calm, but Yushi could hear the underlying concern.

Dr. Lee smiled faintly. "The most important thing is to ensure Yushi has support. A safe space, proper hydration, and someone he trusts to be with him during his heat will make all the difference. It won’t be easy, but it’s manageable."

The walk back to Jaehee's car was silent. Yushi kept his gaze fixed on the ground, his mind racing with everything the doctor had said. The idea of going through a heat—an actual heat—was terrifying. He hadn't experienced full heat since his late teens, and even then, they had been carefully controlled.

He climbed into the passenger seat and stared out the window as Jaehee started the car. The silence stretched between them, heavy and unspoken.

Finally, Yushi spoke. "You don’t have to stay with me when it happens, you know."

Jaehee frowned, glancing at him briefly before returning his eyes to the road. "Why wouldn’t I?"

"It’s going to be messy. Awful. You don’t need to see me like that."

Jaehee let out a quiet sigh. "Yushi, I’ve been with you through some of your worst moments already. Do you really think I’d leave you to handle this alone?"

Yushi’s chest tightened. He didn’t know how to respond to that.

"It’s not about whether it’s messy or not,"
Jaehee continued, his tone soft but firm. "I care about you. If this is something you have to go through, then I’ll be there. Simple as that."

Yushi turned his head to look out the window, his face heating up. He didn’t know how Jaehee always managed to say things like that so casually, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

🌳🐈

The lecture hall was quiet save for the professor’s steady voice as he wrote equations on the board. Yushi sat near the back, his pen tapping lightly against his notebook as he struggled to focus. A headache had been building since morning, but he ignored it, attributing it to exhaustion.

Then it hit.

The warmth started in his chest, spreading through his body with a ferocity that left him breathless. He clutched his desk as a sharp pang coursed through him, his vision blurring. A familiar yet foreign sensation settled low in his abdomen—one he hadn’t felt in years.

A wave of heat radiated from him, and within moments, the faint scent of sandalwood and sweet citrus filled the room. At first, it was subtle, but it quickly intensified, wrapping itself around every alpha in the room like a vice.

The lecture ground to a halt as students shifted uncomfortably, the alphas in particular looking visibly affected. Whispers broke out as heads turned toward Yushi, whose face was flushed, his breathing labored.

“Yushi, are you okay?” one of his omega classmates whispered, concern lacing her voice.
He didn’t respond, his hand gripping the desk so tightly his knuckles turned white.

“Someone get him outside,” another omega suggested, rising from her seat.

Two of Yushi’s omega friends approached, attempting to lift him. But as they tried to move him, the overwhelming scent of his heat made them dizzy.

“We need help,” one of them called out.

Jaehee arrived minutes later, his heart pounding after receiving the frantic text. He pushed through the crowd gathered outside the lecture hall, the scent hitting him like a freight train as soon as he stepped inside.

His alpha instincts roared to life, urging him to claim, to protect, but he pushed the thoughts down with practiced effort. His eyes found Yushi, slumped against his desk, his usually sharp features softened with pain and delirium.

“Jaehee!” one of the omega friends called out. “Thank god. We can’t move him—his scent is too much.”

Jaehee nodded, his jaw tight as he approached. The moment he touched Yushi’s arm, the older man’s hazy eyes fluttered open.

“Jaehee…” Yushi murmured, his voice trembling.
“I’m here,” Jaehee said, his voice low and steady despite the chaos raging inside him. “Let’s get you out of here.”

With little effort, Jaehee lifted Yushi into his arms, ignoring the lingering stares and whispers from the other students. He carried him out of the lecture hall and down the stairs, the fresh air outside doing little to diminish the intensity of Yushi’s scent.

The car ride to Yushi’s apartment was torturous.
The scent of Yushi’s heat filled the small space, seeping into Jaehee’s lungs and clawing at his restraint. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles white as he forced himself to focus on the road.

“Jaehee,” Yushi whispered from the passenger seat, his voice thick with desperation.

Jaehee glanced over, his heart clenching at the sight. Yushi’s cheeks were flushed, his lips parted as he panted softly. His hands gripped the edge of the seat as though trying to ground himself.

“Jaehee, please…” Yushi’s voice cracked, the need in his tone piercing through Jaehee’s resolve.

“Yushi, don’t,” Jaehee said tightly, his voice strained. “We’re almost there.”

“Hurts…” Yushi whimpered, his head lolling back against the seat. “Make it stop. Please…”

Jaehee gritted his teeth, his heart pounding painfully in his chest. He couldn’t give in, not when Yushi was like this. Not when he wasn’t in control of himself.

When they finally arrived at Yushi’s apartment, Jaehee carried him inside and laid him on the couch. Yushi clung to him, his fingers curling into Jaehee’s shirt as he refused to let go.

“Jaehee,” Yushi gasped, his body trembling as the heat consumed him. “I need… I need you.”

Jaehee froze, his entire body tense as Yushi’s words sunk in.

“No, Yushi,” Jaehee said softly, prying Yushi’s hands from his shirt. “You’re not thinking clearly.”
“I am!” Yushi insisted, his voice rising in desperation. “I need you to help me. Please…”

Tears welled up in Yushi’s eyes, spilling down his flushed cheeks as he looked up at Jaehee with unguarded vulnerability.

Jaehee’s chest ached as he knelt beside him, brushing Yushi’s damp hair away from his face.

“I can’t,” he said, his voice breaking. “Not like this. You’d hate me if I did.”

Yushi sobbed, his hands covering his face as he shook with frustration and pain.

Jaehee stayed by his side, whispering soothing words and holding him through the night, his resolve unshaken despite the storm of emotions threatening to break him apart.

For Jaehee, Yushi’s trust was more important than anything—even his own instincts.

🌳🐈

For the next few days, Jaehee stayed at Yushi’s apartment, barely leaving his side. Yushi’s heat persisted relentlessly, leaving him flushed, trembling, and drenched in sweat. The scent of his heat lingered in the air, heavy and intoxicating, but Jaehee held himself in check, refusing to let his instincts take over.

When Yushi begged, his voice cracking with desperation, Jaehee would gently calm him, offering soft reassurances. “You’ll get through this,” he would say, his voice firm yet tender. And when Yushi cried, trembling from the overwhelming sensations, Jaehee would wipe his tears, cooling his flushed skin with a damp cloth.

Despite his alpha instincts screaming at him to do more, Jaehee only ever touched Yushi to help him. Whether it was steadying him as he tried to sit up, bringing water to his parched lips, or helping him change out of sweat-drenched clothes, Jaehee was nothing but respectful and careful.

On the third day, a doctor arrived at the apartment to check on Yushi.

Yushi lay curled on the couch, his breathing shallow but steadier than before. Jaehee stood nearby, his arms crossed as he watched the doctor examine him.

“It’s as expected,” Dr. Lee said after a thorough examination. “The suppressant has completely failed, and Yushi’s body is adjusting to its natural cycle again. It’s going to take some time for things to stabilize, but he’s improving.”

Dr. Lee glanced at Jaehee, offering a small smile. “You’ve done well taking care of him. Not many alphas could stay this composed in a situation like this.”

Jaehee dipped his head in acknowledgment, though he felt the strain in every muscle of his body. The doctor’s words didn’t make it easier to suppress the instincts that constantly gnawed at him.

Once the doctor left, Jaehee turned to Yushi, who was watching him with tired, glassy eyes.
“I told you you’d get through this,” Jaehee said softly, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Yushi’s expression softened, but he didn’t say anything, his body too weak to express the gratitude he felt.

By the fifth day, Yushi’s heat had finally subsided, leaving him exhausted but functional. He managed to sit up on his own, his body no longer trembling from the intense waves of heat.

Jaehee had just returned from the kitchen, carrying a tray of food. “You’re sitting up,” he noted with a hint of relief in his voice. “That’s a good sign.”

Yushi offered a weak smile, his voice hoarse as he said, “Thanks to you.”

Jaehee set the tray down in front of him, taking a seat on the edge of the couch. “Eat something. You’ve barely had any real food in days.”

As Yushi slowly picked at the meal, the weight of the past few days settled over him. His hands trembled slightly as he placed the fork down, his voice barely a whisper. “Thank you, Jaehee.”

Jaehee tilted his head, confused. “For what?”
“For staying,” Yushi said, his gaze fixed on the tray. “For taking care of me. For... being you.”

Jaehee’s chest tightened at the vulnerability in Yushi’s voice. “You don’t have to thank me, Yushi. I told you before—I’d do anything for you.”

Yushi finally looked up, his eyes glassy but steady. “I mean it. Not everyone would’ve done what you did. You could’ve... you know, given in.”
His cheeks flushed lightly. “But you didn’t.”
“Of course I didn’t,” Jaehee said firmly. “You trust me, and I won’t ever betray that.”

The sincerity in Jaehee’s words made Yushi’s throat tighten. He looked away, his fingers fiddling with the edge of the blanket draped over his lap.

“You’re too good, you know that?” Yushi muttered, a hint of embarrassment in his voice.
Jaehee chuckled softly, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “I don’t think so. But if it makes you feel better, I’ll take the compliment.”

Yushi shook his head, a faint smile tugging at his lips despite himself. For the first time in days, he felt a sense of peace—a fragile yet comforting stillness that now it was all over.

🌳🐈

Once Jaehee returned to his own apartment, Yushi was left alone in the quiet of his space. His body was still weak from the aftermath of his heat, but the worst had passed. Now, as he sat at his small dining table sipping a lukewarm cup of tea, fragments of the past five days began to surface in his mind.

He closed his eyes, letting the foggy memories wash over him.

The most vivid moments were the pain. It had been so intense that he’d felt like his body was being ripped apart from the inside. He remembered clutching at his chest, his breaths shallow and ragged, convinced he wouldn’t survive. The heat had come like a tidal wave, drowning him in desperation and fire.

And then there was Jaehee.

Yushi’s cheeks flushed as pieces of his own pitiful pleas emerged from the haze. His voice, trembling and desperate, echoed in his head: “Please... Jaehee, touch me. I can’t— I need you. Just once, please...”

He groaned, burying his face in his hands. The shame was almost unbearable.

They had been dating for almost two years, but they had never crossed that line. Yushi had always been grateful for Jaehee’s patience and restraint, especially since the suppressants had dulled his instincts and desires to the point where physical intimacy rarely crossed his mind.

But during the heat, all that control had shattered.

He remembered clawing at Jaehee’s shirt, his body writhing as his instincts demanded relief.

Jaehee’s voice had been a low, steady anchor in the storm, repeating softly, “It’s okay, Yushi. You’ll get through this. I won’t leave you.”

Yushi bit his lip, his hands trembling slightly as he gripped his tea. He was so grateful for Jaehee’s self-control—for the iron wall the alpha had maintained despite what must have been unbearable temptation. Jaehee had endured his own rut alone out of respect for Yushi, and even during Yushi’s most vulnerable state, Jaehee had stayed true to that respect.

The thought brought a lump to Yushi’s throat.
If it were to happen... he thought, his heart tightening, if we were to do that... I want it to be when I’m fully myself. Not like that. Not when I’m delirious and cant even remember my name.

He let out a deep sigh, leaning back in his chair. The snippets of memory were still jumbled, but the feelings they left behind were vivid: the pain, the desperation, and, most of all, the overwhelming gratitude he felt toward Jaehee.

For years, Yushi had built walls around himself, keeping others at a distance. Jaehee had been the only one to break through, not by force, but by simply being there, steady and dependable.

But now, as the fragments of those five days settled in his mind, Yushi felt a mix of emotions he couldn’t quite untangle. Gratitude, yes. Embarrassment, absolutely. But there was also a quiet, growing warmth—a realization that Jaehee was really it for him.

🌳🐈

Yushi sat in the sterile, white-walled examination room, his back rigid as he waited for Dr. Lee to return. The faint hum of the air conditioning was the only sound in the room, but it did nothing to calm the storm in his mind.

He had insisted on coming alone today. Jaehee had wanted to come—of course he did—but Yushi had practically forced him to attend the committee meeting instead. Jaehee had already sacrificed so much of his time for Yushi, and Yushi didn’t want to be the reason he fell behind in his responsibilities.

When the door opened, Dr. Lee entered with her usual calm demeanor, a clipboard in hand. Yushi’s stomach twisted at the sight of her unreadable expression.

"Thank you for waiting, Yushi," she said, sitting across from him. Her tone was professional but gentle, and that only made Yushi’s anxiety spike.
"Just tell me," he said, his voice steadier than he felt.

Dr. Lee nodded, setting the clipboard on her lap. "We’ve gone through the results of your examinations, including the scans and bloodwork. As I suspected, the long-term use of suppressants has had a significant impact on your reproductive system."

Yushi’s breath caught. He didn’t say anything, waiting for her to continue.

"The suppressants, especially at the high dosage you’ve been using, have caused scarring in your reproductive tissues. While it’s not impossible for you to conceive, the likelihood is extremely low. And even if conception were to occur, carrying a pregnancy to term would be high-risk."

The words hung in the air like a death sentence. Yushi stared at her, his mind blanking as he tried to process what she’d just said.

"Yushi?" Dr. Lee prompted, her voice softer now.
"I... I see," he managed to say, his voice barely above a whisper.

He clenched his hands on his lap, his nails digging into his palms as he forced himself to stay composed. He didn’t want to cry here. Not in front of Dr. Lee. Not anywhere, if he could help it.

The doctor continued, her tone as kind as it could be. "I know this isn’t the news you wanted to hear, but there are options we can explore if—"

"I understand," Yushi interrupted, standing abruptly. He couldn’t sit here any longer, couldn’t listen to any more of this. "Thank you, Dr. Lee. I’ll think about it."

Dr. Lee hesitated, but eventually nodded. "Of course. If you have any questions or need support, you can always reach out."

Yushi nodded numbly and left the room, walking through the clinic halls in a daze.

The world outside felt too bright, too loud. Yushi found himself wandering without direction, his feet moving on autopilot while his mind raced.

He had always known the suppressants were a risk. He had known they weren’t good for his body. But he had needed them. They were his shield, his armor. Without them, he wouldn’t have been able to survive university, to build the life he had now.

But now... now it felt like that armor had cost him something irreparable.

The thought of Jaehee flashed in his mind, and Yushi’s stomach twisted painfully. How could he tell Jaehee this? How could he look him in the eye and admit that he might never be able to give him the family he deserved?

Would Jaehee stay with him after hearing this?
Would he even want to?

The thought made Yushi’s chest ache, and before he realized it, he was sitting on a bench in the park near the university, his face buried in his hands.

Finally, he let the tears fall.

He didn’t know how long he stayed there, but when his phone buzzed in his pocket, he forced himself to wipe his eyes and check the screen.

Jaehee: Meeting just ended. Are you done at the clinic? Should I pick you up?

Yushi stared at the message, his thumb hovering over the keyboard.

He typed a response and deleted it. Repeated the process three more times before finally settling on:

Yushi: I’m fine. Heading back now.

He couldn’t tell Jaehee. Not yet. Not until he could figure out how to say it without falling apart.

🌳🐈

Yushi sat by the window of his small apartment, a book open on his lap, but he hadn’t turned a page in nearly half an hour. His eyes were fixed on the street below, unfocused as he stared at nothing in particular. The faint sound of the TV in the background provided some noise, but it barely registered.

Jaehee just arrived and currently watched him from the kitchen, his brows furrowed. It wasn’t the first time he’d noticed this in the past few days. Since Yushi’s visit to the doctor, he had been quieter, more distant. Not in a cold way—if anything, Yushi was softer with him than usual, as though he were trying to reassure Jaehee of something he couldn’t put into words.

But there was something else beneath it. A shadow in Yushi’s eyes, a tension in his posture.
Jaehee had asked about the doctor’s visit as soon as Yushi came back that day, but Yushi had simply smiled and said, “Everything’s fine.”
And yet, Jaehee couldn’t shake the feeling that wasn’t the whole truth.

“Hey,” Jaehee called gently as he walked over, setting two mugs of tea on the coffee table. “You’ve been quiet lately.”

Yushi blinked, snapping out of his trance. He glanced at Jaehee and then at the tea. “Oh. Thanks.”

Jaehee sat down beside him, leaning back against the couch. He didn’t say anything right away, giving Yushi space to speak if he wanted to.

But when the silence stretched on, Jaehee finally asked, “Is something bothering you?”

Yushi hesitated, his fingers brushing against the edge of the book. “No, not really. I’m just... tired. It’s the side effects, I think. My body’s still adjusting after the heat and stopping the suppressant.”

Jaehee frowned. “I thought you said everything was fine.”

“It is,” Yushi replied quickly, his tone even. Too even. He closed the book and set it aside. “This is normal, isn’t it? I’ve been on those suppressants for years. Of course, my body’s going to take time to recover.”

Jaehee studied him, searching for cracks in the calm façade Yushi had put up. “Are you sure that’s all it is?”

Yushi didn’t meet his gaze. “Yes,” he said firmly, picking up his tea and taking a sip.

Jaehee wanted to believe him, but something about the way Yushi avoided looking at him told him there was more to the story. Still, he didn’t want to push too hard. Yushi had always been independent, someone who needed to deal with things in his own time.

“Okay,” Jaehee said softly. He reached out and gently brushed his fingers against Yushi’s, offering silent support.

Yushi stiffened for a moment before relaxing, his shoulders lowering slightly.

“I just need a bit of time,” Yushi added, his voice quieter now.

Jaehee nodded, his thumb tracing slow circles on the back of Yushi’s hand. “I’m here when you’re ready.”

For a brief moment, Yushi’s mask cracked. His lips pressed together, and his eyes softened with something close to guilt. But he didn’t say anything more.

As the evening wore on, Yushi slowly leaned against Jaehee’s side, their tea forgotten as they sat in quiet companionship.

Jaehee didn’t know what burden Yushi was carrying, but he resolved to be patient. Whatever it was, he would wait for Yushi to let him in.

🌳🐈

Yushi sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the floor. His mind was heavy with thoughts, an endless cycle of doubt, guilt, and pain. He clutched a blanket tightly in his hands, his knuckles turning white. No matter how much he tried to rationalize things, his heart ached every time he thought of Jaehee.

He loved him.

But wasn’t that the problem?

The words from the doctor echoed in his mind: “There’s been significant damage to your reproductive system. It’s unlikely you’ll be able to conceive, even if your heat cycles stabilize.”

The cold, clinical tone had pierced through him like a knife. Yushi had nodded calmly in the office, thanked the doctor, and left with his usual stoicism. But inside, he had been crumbling.

An omega who couldn’t have children.
What kind of partner could he be for Jaehee? Jaehee deserved someone whole, someone who could give him everything he might want in the future.

Every time Jaehee visited, Yushi found himself staring at him, trying to memorize his smile, the way his eyes softened when he looked at Yushi, the quiet strength in his presence. And each time, it hurt more.

Tonight, Jaehee sat across from him at the small dining table, looking at Yushi with concern as they shared a meal. Or rather, Jaehee was eating, and Yushi was merely picking at his food.

“Yushi,” Jaehee said gently, breaking the silence. “You’ve been like this for days. Is something wrong?”

Yushi blinked and looked up, meeting Jaehee’s gaze. The sadness in his own eyes must have been obvious because Jaehee frowned deeply.

“I told you, I’m just tired,” Yushi murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Tired doesn’t look like this,” Jaehee countered, his tone soft but firm. He reached out, his hand brushing against Yushi’s. “You’re not yourself. You’ve been... distant. And you keep looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re saying goodbye.”

Yushi’s breath hitched. He pulled his hand away and stood abruptly, turning his back to Jaehee.

“You’re imagining things.”
“Am I?” Jaehee asked, standing as well. He didn’t press closer but didn’t let the conversation drop either. “Yushi, please. I don’t know what’s going on, but you’re not alone. Let me help you.”

Yushi’s shoulders tensed. He bit his lip, struggling to keep his composure. He doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve me.
“You should stop coming here so often,” Yushi said finally, his voice colder than he intended.
“What?” Jaehee’s voice was a mix of confusion and hurt.
“I mean it,” Yushi said, still not turning to face him. “You have your own life. You’re spending too much time worrying about me.”

Jaehee took a step closer. “Yushi, if this is about me being busy, I don’t mind. You’re important to me.”

Yushi clenched his fists. Stop saying that. Stop making this harder.

“You’re wasting your time,” Yushi said harshly, his voice cracking slightly. “I’m not worth it.”
Jaehee froze for a moment before stepping closer, his voice soft but unwavering. “Yushi, don’t say that.”

Yushi turned then, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I mean it. You don’t understand, Jaehee. I’m broken. I can’t—” He stopped himself, shaking his head as he looked away.
Jaehee reached out, his hands resting gently on Yushi’s shoulders. “You’re not broken. Whatever it is, we’ll face it together.”

Yushi’s chest tightened. He wanted to believe him, wanted to lean into that warmth and reassurance. But the weight of his doubts felt too heavy.

He stepped back, out of Jaehee’s reach. “You should leave, Jaehee.”

“No,” Jaehee said firmly, refusing to move. “Not until you tell me what’s really going on.”

Yushi looked at him, his lips trembling. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but they wouldn’t come out. Instead, he turned away again, hugging himself tightly.

“Please, Jaehee. Just go.”

Jaehee didn’t argue this time. He stood there for a moment, his heart aching as he watched Yushi close in on himself. Finally, he sighed and walked to the door.

“I’ll go,” he said quietly, “but I’m not giving up on you, Yushi.”

When the door closed behind him, Yushi sank to the floor, burying his face in his hands. The tears he had been holding back finally fell, silent but relentless.

He didn’t know what to do anymore.

🌳🐈

Yushi sat at his desk, trying to type, the steady clack of his keyboard a mask for the storm brewing in his mind. His thesis was open on the screen, but the words blurred into an unintelligible mess. His thoughts were elsewhere, far from his research.

Far from anything productive.

Jaehee’s calls and texts had become a daily occurrence, but Yushi ignored them all. He couldn't face him—not when his resolve was hanging by a thread.

A message popped up on his phone:
Jaehee: I’ll wait outside until you come down. We need to talk.

Yushi’s breath hitched, and he glanced out the window. There Jaehee was, standing outside the apartment building, hands in his pockets, his posture stiff with tension.

Yushi swallowed hard. He couldn’t avoid this forever. He owed Jaehee an explanation, even if the thought of speaking his fears aloud made his chest ache.

Grabbing a jacket, Yushi made his way downstairs. Each step felt heavier than the last, dread settling in his stomach.

When he reached the entrance, Jaehee straightened, his sharp eyes locking onto Yushi’s immediately.

“Yushi,” Jaehee started, his voice softer than Yushi expected, but there was an undeniable edge of frustration.

“Lets talk inside” they walked side by side in silence to Yushi’s unit.

“Why are you here?”

“Because you’ve been shutting me out,” Jaehee said, stepping closer. “You don’t answer my calls, you don’t text me back, and every time I come over, you say you’re busy. I know your thesis is important, but this isn’t about that, is it?”

Yushi bit his lip, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. “I told you. I need to focus.”

“That’s not it.” Jaehee’s voice was firm, but it cracked slightly. “Yushi, what’s really going on? Did I do something wrong? If I did, just tell me.”
“No,” Yushi said, shaking his head. “It’s not you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Then why are you acting like this?” Jaehee’s voice rose slightly, his frustration bubbling over. “Do you even know how much it hurts, Yushi? Watching you pull away, watching you shut me out without any explanation? If something’s wrong, just tell me. Please.”

Yushi flinched at the raw emotion in Jaehee’s voice. His chest tightened, and he struggled to hold back the tears threatening to spill.

“I…” He looked down, his voice barely above a whisper. “You deserve better.”

Jaehee’s expression shifted to confusion. “What are you talking about? Better than what?”

Yushi clenched his fists, his words spilling out in a desperate rush. “Better than me. You deserve an omega who can give you everything—an omega who can give you children someday. Someone who isn’t broken. Someone who can actually help you through your ruts instead of making you suffer through them alone. We don’t even have sex, Jaehee! Why are you staying with me? Why are you putting yourself through this?”

Jaehee stared at him, stunned. The weight of Yushi’s words hung heavy in the air, and for a moment, neither of them spoke.

“I mean, look at your friends,” Yushi continued, his voice trembling. “They’re alphas, right?
They’re dating omegas who can give them what they want. They have normal relationships. They’re happy. Don’t you feel jealous? Don’t you ever think about how much easier your life would be if you weren’t stuck with me? I can’t even promise you a future, Jaehee. I might not be able to give you kids. So why bother?”

Jaehee’s heart ached as he watched Yushi crumble before him. The omega’s shoulders were hunched, his head bowed as if the weight of his own words was too much to bear.

“Yushi,” Jaehee said softly, stepping closer.
“Don’t,” Yushi said, shaking his head. “Don’t say something kind just to make me feel better. I don’t want your pity.”
“It’s not pity,” Jaehee said firmly. He reached out, gently placing a hand on Yushi’s shoulder. “It’s love.”

Yushi’s breath caught in his throat, and he looked up at Jaehee, his eyes wide and glistening with tears.

“I’m not with you because of what you can or can’t give me,” Jaehee said, his voice steady but laced with emotion. “I’m with you because I love you. I don’t care about your past, or your condition, or whether we have kids someday. None of that matters to me, Yushi. What matters is you.”

“But I’m broken,” Yushi whispered, his voice cracking.
“You’re not broken,” Jaehee said, cupping Yushi’s face in his hands. His thumbs gently brushed away the tears that had started to fall. “You’re strong. You’re kind. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. And if you think for one second that I’d rather be with someone else, then you don’t know me at all.”

Yushi’s lip trembled, and he shook his head. “But your ruts… You’ve been suffering through them alone because of me. Don’t you hate that?”

Jaehee smiled faintly, his gaze warm and unwavering. “It’s not suffering, Yushi. I’d rather go through a hundred ruts alone than pressure you into something you’re not ready for. I respect you too much for that. I love you too much for that.”

Yushi’s tears spilled over, and he buried his face in Jaehee’s chest, his sobs muffled against the alpha’s shirt.

“I’m scared,” Yushi admitted, his voice shaking. “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to believe that this—us—can work.”

Jaehee wrapped his arms around Yushi, holding him close. “You don’t have to know everything right now,” he said softly. “We’ll figure it out together. You don’t have to go through this alone, Yushi. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. But please dont shut me out”

For the first time in days, Yushi allowed himself to believe it. He clung to Jaehee tightly, letting the alpha’s warmth and words soothe the storm in his heart

🌳🐈

Yushi’s life had finally begun to stabilize after months of turmoil. With his cycle returning to normal and his body adjusting to life without suppressants, he felt more grounded than he had in years. The persistent headaches had faded, his strength was returning, and, much to his quiet embarrassment, his libido had awakened in ways he wasn’t prepared for.

The issue now was Jaehee.

Jaehee, who remained the epitome of patience and respect. Jaehee, who still treated Yushi as though he might break at any moment, carefully keeping his hands to himself unless Yushi initiated contact. It was endearing—at first. But now, with his body practically humming with energy and an unspoken need simmering beneath his skin, Yushi found himself frustrated.

He wanted more. He wanted Jaehee.

The problem was, Yushi had no idea how to bridge the gap. Despite being in a relationship for over two years, their intimacy had always been restrained. Sweet kisses, affectionate hugs, touching here and there but nothing beyond that. For Jaehee, it was clear he was waiting until Yushi was ready. For Yushi, it was clear that Jaehee was too respectful for his own good.

Yushi had tried subtle hints—lingering touches, sitting a little closer than usual, letting his gaze linger on Jaehee’s lips when they kissed. But Jaehee, the oblivious, considerate alpha, never seemed to catch on.

One evening, as they sat together on the couch in Yushi’s apartment, Yushi decided to try again. He shifted closer to Jaehee, resting his hand on Jaehee’s thigh.

“You’re tense,” Yushi murmured, glancing up at him. “Long day?”

Jaehee smiled, leaning back against the couch. “Just the usual committee stuff. Nothing I can’t handle.”

Yushi nodded, his hand trailing lightly along Jaehee’s thigh. “You should relax more.”
Jaehee chuckled, his hand reaching up to brush Yushi’s hair back. “I relax plenty when I’m with you.”

Yushi’s lips twitched. He was running out of patience. “Jaehee,” he said softly, shifting to straddle Jaehee’s lap.

Jaehee froze, his eyes wide. “Y-Yushi?”

“You’ve been so good to me,” Yushi said, his cheeks heating. He wrapped his arms around Jaehee’s neck, trying to keep his voice steady despite the pounding of his heart. “I want to return the favor.”

Jaehee blinked at him, confusion and concern warring in his expression. “You don’t have to—”
“I want to.” Yushi bit his lip, his voice dropping to a whisper. “I want to help you through your next rut.”

Jaehee’s entire body stiffened beneath him. “Yushi, you don’t have to say that just because—”
“I’m not saying it for your sake!” Yushi interrupted, his face burning. “I-I’m saying it for mine! I... I want to be with you like that. You’ve been so patient with me, and I... I think I’m ready.”

Jaehee stared at him, his mouth opening and closing as though he didn’t know how to respond.

The silence stretched, and Yushi’s confidence began to falter. He moved to climb off Jaehee’s lap, embarrassed beyond words, but Jaehee’s hands shot out, gripping his waist.

“Wait,” Jaehee said, his voice low and steady. He took a deep breath, his eyes searching Yushi’s face. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured—”

“I wouldn’t say it if I wasn’t sure!” Yushi snapped, his embarrassment morphing into frustration. “Do you think I’d put myself through this if I didn’t mean it?”

Jaehee’s lips twitched, a small smile breaking through his stunned expression. “You’re incredible, you know that?”

“Don’t patronize me,” Yushi muttered, though his cheeks burned even brighter.

“I’m not,” Jaehee said, his hands gently cupping Yushi’s face. “I just... I’ve waited so long to hear you say something like this, but I never wanted to rush you. If you’re ready, then...”

“Then?” Yushi whispered.

Jaehee leaned forward, brushing his lips softly against Yushi’s. “Then let’s take this step together. At your pace.”

Yushi felt his heart swell, a mixture of relief and nervous excitement coursing through him.

🌳🐈

Yushi had been restless all week. Jaehee’s rut was approaching—his alpha had mentioned it casually in passing—but Yushi couldn’t get it out of his mind. For the past few months, he had been resolute about taking the next step in their relationship. But now, as the reality of helping Jaehee through something as intense as a rut loomed, his nerves were getting the better of him.

He’d spent hours scouring online forums, searching for advice. He had read everything from medical insights about ruts to first-hand accounts from other omegas. But instead of calming him, the sheer variety of experiences left him feeling more confused and intimidated.

The thought of asking Jaehee directly crossed his mind more than once, but every time, he chickened out. Talking about it felt... embarrassing. How was he supposed to calmly ask his boyfriend about something so intimate?

So, out of desperation, he turned to his omega friends.

“Just be ready for anything,” one of them said with a mischievous grin.
“Make sure you hydrate!” another teased.
“Why? Planning to let him go feral on you?” someone else joked, causing a wave of laughter that made Yushi’s face burn.

Mortified, Yushi stopped asking questions altogether. Clearly, they weren’t taking him seriously.

By the time Jaehee’s text arrived, Yushi felt woefully underprepared.

Jaehee: Rut’s starting. Can you come over? Bring a change of clothes for yourself.

The straightforward message sent his heart racing. Yushi immediately packed a bag, throwing in spare clothes, toiletries, and—after some hesitation—a bottle of water and snacks. Better safe than sorry, he thought.

When Yushi arrived at Jaehee’s apartment, he was greeted by the faint, telltale scent of alpha pheromones in the air. His pulse quickened as he knocked on the door.

Jaehee opened it a moment later, looking more disheveled than Yushi had ever seen him. His hair was slightly damp, as if he’d just showered, and his usually warm brown eyes were darker, tinged with something primal.

“Hey,” Jaehee said, his voice lower than usual.
“H-Hi,” Yushi stammered, stepping inside. He tried to ignore the way his own body reacted to Jaehee’s scent, a strange mix of nervousness and warmth bubbling in his chest. “You, uh, look like it’s starting.”

Jaehee gave a tired smile. “Yeah, it’s hitting me faster than usual. Thanks for coming.”

Yushi nodded, clutching his bag tightly. “So, um... what do you need me to do?”

Jaehee’s smile softened. “Nothing you’re not comfortable with. I just... wanted you here. Your scent helps.”

The sincerity in Jaehee’s voice made Yushi’s chest ache. Even now, when his instincts were starting to take over, Jaehee was still thinking about Yushi’s comfort.

“I’ll stay as long as you need,” Yushi said, his voice steadier now.
“Thank you,” Jaehee murmured. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Yushi’s temple before stepping back. “I’m going to try and sleep while I still can. You can use the living room, or...”

“I’ll stay in your room,” Yushi blurted out, surprising both of them. His face turned red as he quickly added, “I-I mean, if that’s okay. In case you need anything.”

Jaehee’s lips curved into a small, grateful smile. “Okay.”

As the night progressed, Yushi stayed by Jaehee’s side, alternating between reading quietly and stealing glances at his boyfriend. He could feel the heat emanating from Jaehee’s body, see the way his muscles occasionally tensed as the rut began to settle in.

Yushi’s own heart was racing. He wanted to help, to ease Jaehee’s discomfort, but he wasn’t sure how. Instead, he reached out and gently brushed Jaehee’s hair back, his touch light and tentative.

“I’m here,” he whispered.

Jaehee’s hand found his, squeezing gently. “That’s all I need.”

Yushi swallowed hard, his resolve solidifying. He didn’t know what the next few days would bring, but he was determined to be there for Jaehee in every way he could.

By the second day, Jaehee’s rut had fully set in. His scent was thicker, more intoxicating, and Yushi found it increasingly difficult to focus on anything but him. Jaehee’s usual restraint was crumbling, his control fraying at the edges.
Yushi could tell.

Jaehee’s breaths came heavier, his movements slower, as if he were battling himself with every passing moment. His gaze lingered on Yushi, darker and more desperate than Yushi had ever seen before.

“Yushi,” Jaehee called from the bedroom, his voice raspy and low.

Yushi set down the book he had been pretending to read and walked cautiously toward the doorway. His pulse quickened as he stepped inside. Jaehee was sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, muscles taut.

“You okay?” Yushi asked softly.

Jaehee lifted his head, and the rawness in his eyes made Yushi’s breath catch. “No,” Jaehee admitted, his voice breaking. “It’s getting worse.”

Yushi hesitated. He had been so nervous about what this would mean for their relationship, but seeing Jaehee like this—struggling and in pain—overrode every fear. Slowly, he approached, his fingers trembling as he reached out to touch Jaehee’s shoulder.

“What do you need me to do?” Yushi asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Jaehee shuddered under Yushi’s touch, his breath hitching. “You being here helps,” he said, though his voice was tight with strain. “But it’s... it’s hard to hold back when you’re so close.”

Yushi felt his cheeks heat. He withdrew his hand instinctively, but Jaehee’s hand shot out to grab his wrist, holding him in place.

“Don’t,” Jaehee said, his grip firm yet gentle. “Please. Don’t go.”

Yushi’s heart thudded painfully in his chest. The sheer need in Jaehee’s voice and the way his hand trembled against Yushi’s skin sent a rush of warmth through him.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Yushi promised, his voice steadier than he felt.

Jaehee exhaled sharply, his fingers loosening their hold but not letting go entirely. “Yushi... I don’t want to scare you. I don’t want to hurt you. But I—”
“You won’t,” Yushi interrupted, surprising both of them with his certainty. He knelt in front of Jaehee, placing both hands on Jaehee’s knees. “I trust you.”

Jaehee’s gaze softened, though the tension in his body didn’t ease. “You don’t understand,” he said hoarsely. “I’ve waited so long for this—for you—and now my instincts...”

“I want to help you,” Yushi said, his voice wavering slightly but determined. “You’ve been so patient with me, Jaehee. Always putting me first, always waiting. I—I don’t want you to hold back anymore.”

Jaehee closed his eyes tightly, his jaw clenching as he visibly fought for control. “Yushi, I don’t want you to feel pressured. I need to know this is what you want.”

Yushi felt his throat tighten, but he nodded, his hands gripping Jaehee’s knees for stability. “I want you,” he said, his voice trembling but sincere. “And I trust you, Jaehee. So... let me be here for you this time.”

Jaehee’s eyes snapped open, the raw hunger in them unmistakable. But still, he hesitated.

“Yushi,” he said, his voice low and guttural, “are you sure? If I—if we do this, I won’t be able to hold back.”

Yushi’s heart was pounding so loudly he was sure Jaehee could hear it, but he leaned forward anyway, cupping Jaehee’s face in his hands. “I’m sure.”

For a moment, neither of them moved. Then, with a groan that sounded like relief and desperation all at once, Jaehee pulled Yushi into his lap, holding him close as if he were afraid Yushi might disappear.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” Jaehee murmured, his lips brushing against Yushi’s temple.
“I will,” Yushi whispered, his own nerves melting away under the warmth of Jaehee’s touch.

Their kisses started slow, careful, but it wasn’t long before Jaehee’s restraint snapped. His hands roamed over Yushi’s body, pulling him impossibly closer, while Yushi clung to him, breathless and overwhelmed.

Jaehee’s scent enveloped Yushi completely, heady and intoxicating, and Yushi found himself lost in the sheer intensity of it all.

“Yushi,” Jaehee rasped, his voice thick with need. “I—”
“Don’t stop,” Yushi whispered, his own instincts taking over as he leaned into Jaehee’s touch.

The rest of the night was a blur of heat and overwhelming sensations as they finally gave in to the emotions and desires they had both been holding back for so long.

And for the first time, neither of them held anything back.

The first rays of dawn filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow over the room. Yushi stirred awake, his body aching in ways he’d never experienced before, but there was a quiet sense of satisfaction that hummed beneath the soreness. For the first time in his life, he felt like a full omega—not because of what had happened, but because of how deeply and freely he’d chosen to give himself to Jaehee.

Beside him, Jaehee was still asleep, his breaths deep and even. His arm was draped protectively over Yushi’s waist, holding him close even in unconsciousness. Yushi turned slightly to watch him, taking in the soft curve of his lips and the relaxed lines of his face.

He looked so peaceful.

Yushi's chest swelled with warmth, but it was tinged with guilt. Despite how happy he felt now, he remembered the uncertainty he had carried for months, the way he had doubted whether he deserved someone as patient, kind, and selfless as Jaehee. He brushed his fingers lightly over Jaehee’s hand resting on his hip, marveling at how steady and unyielding Jaehee had been through everything.

Jaehee stirred at the touch, his eyes fluttering open. He blinked a few times before focusing on Yushi, and a soft, lazy smile spread across his lips.

“Good morning,” Jaehee murmured, his voice still thick with sleep.
“Good morning,” Yushi replied softly, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Jaehee shifted closer, his nose brushing against Yushi’s temple as he pressed a feather-light kiss there. “How are you feeling?” he asked, his voice laced with concern.

Yushi hesitated, his cheeks warming. “Sore,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

Jaehee chuckled softly, the sound rumbling in his chest. “I’m sorry,” he said, though the teasing glint in his eyes betrayed his words. “You were... incredible.”

Yushi’s face turned a deeper shade of red, and he buried it against Jaehee’s chest, muttering, “Don’t say it like that.”

Jaehee’s laugh was low and affectionate as he wrapped his arms around Yushi, holding him closer. “I mean it,” he said, his voice softening. “Thank you for trusting me, Yushi. For being with me.”

Yushi pulled back just enough to look up at him, his heart tightening at the sincerity in Jaehee’s eyes. “I should be thanking you,” he said quietly. “You’ve been so patient with me—through everything. I don’t know how I got so lucky.”

Jaehee frowned slightly, brushing his fingers through Yushi’s hair. “I don’t want you to ever think this is one-sided,” he said firmly. “I love you, Yushi. Every part of you. I always have.”

The declaration hung in the air, warm and unwavering. Yushi felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes, and he blinked them away quickly. “I love you too,” he whispered, his voice breaking slightly. “More than I ever thought I could love anyone.”

Jaehee’s expression softened even further, and he leaned down to kiss Yushi gently, pouring every ounce of his affection into the gesture.

When they pulled apart, Yushi rested his forehead against Jaehee’s, their breaths mingling.

“I used to think I’d never let anyone in,” Yushi admitted, his voice barely audible. “I didn’t think I deserved this kind of happiness. But you—you changed everything for me.”

Jaehee tightened his hold on Yushi, his own eyes glistening with unshed tears. “You’ve given me more happiness than I could ever ask for,” he said. “I’m the lucky one, Yushi. Don’t forget that.”

They stayed like that for a long while, wrapped in each other’s warmth, their hearts beating in perfect harmony.

As the morning light grew brighter, Yushi felt something shift within him—a weight lifting, a fear dissolving. For the first time, he wasn’t afraid of the future. Because no matter what challenges lay ahead, he knew they would face them together.

And together, they were whole.