Chapter Text
…Loving you. Reaching out to the air with his right hand, Odysseus whispered towards the darkening east, hoping that Zephyrus would deliver his soft words all the way across the wine-dark sea, wishing that she would be there to hearken, so it might ease her sorrow for a little bit. Wherever I am, Penelope, I’ll always love you.
He smiled, remembering how he used to wait for her, under the shelter of the olive trees; how she used to cradle their son tenderly, smiling in the greenish sunlight that passed through the olive leaves. What he would give to return to those moments…
“Odysseus? It’s time for dinner,” some heavenly voice sang from behind. But all he could feel was his annoyance so immense.
Will you forgive me, Penelope, for what I’m forced to comply with last night, and the night before then? Will you forgive me?
“Odysseus…” the voice was drawing nearer.
Time’s running out. One last word…
“Odysseus!” he felt a twitch on his shoulder, the muscles tensing. “Come, it’s time.”
Time for what? Is it dinner you want, or me?
“Goddess,” replied Odysseus tiredly, turning around to face the goddess. “When will you let me go?”
“Let you go?” he could only hear her laughing. “But you just got here the day before yesterday.”
Is it…? It feels like a long year already.
“Goddess, I have a kingdom to manage, a home to return to—”
“And why not put those nuisances aside, and come join me at dinner, then in my pleasing bed…”
“But I don’t want your bed,” retorted Odysseus, his mind still lingering on the delightful scent of the olive leaves. “I want mine .”
“Come, I have something to erase your sorrow,” she suggested, but Odysseus only felt the disgust in his stomach. I know what you’re offering, and I’m sick of it already.
“I don’t want my sorrow erased,” answered Odysseus, clenching his fists slowly. “For it is what I’m made of.”
“Come,” the goddess insisted. “And let’s not talk about your homecoming for a moment. Dinner is ready.”
He sighed. How could he fight against the will of this goddess, if pleading wouldn’t help at all?
See you again tomorrow, Penelope. I’ll be here by the shores, waiting.
He reluctantly walked away, following the fair-haired goddess.
Inside the cave, seven candles were glowing. The table by the wall was carved out of stone, sitting beside the hearth, keeping the dishes warm. Odysseus sat down at one end, picking up some grapes to eat unhurriedly. The goddess took the seat at the opposite end, two chalices of wine in her hands. The feasting was wordless, and Odysseus was trying his best stalling. Finally the goddess spoke.
“I see you are preoccupied, my dear—what can I do to please you?”
“Nothing,” he just kept eating, not looking up at the fair-haired goddess. “And don’t call me your dear. I am the husband of Penelope, loving father of Telemachus—”
“You want to return home, don’t you?” ignoring his answer, the goddess continued. “But you see, even if I allow you to leave, lord Poseidon—”
“Can mind his own business,” interrupted Odysseus. “Whether he chooses to let me leave alive or dead is his own matter, and that doesn’t concern you.”
“That’s a bold way to talk about a god,” the goddess commented, with a faint smile playing on her lips. “Here, let’s drink to your bravery.” She handed the chalice on her left hand to Odysseus.
Taking it hesitantly, Odysseus froze. He didn’t feel like drinking at this moment…but a look from the goddess seemed to say that it’s an etiquette he could only obey. So Odysseus drank from it anyway. Such sweetness from wine…a flavor I have never tasted before. This is delightful alright. As he was putting down the empty glass, wiping his lips with his bare hand, narrowly catching a glimpse of some glitter on his fingers. “The wine sure is nectarous,” he remarked. “Tell me, O goddess, whence have you obtained this drink?”
“Oh I made it myself,” she answered pleasantly. “And as I said, it can erase your sorrow. Don’t you see? I’d always drink some myself whenever I feel lonely. It’s just wine, adding some mint and vanilla and lotus…”
“Lotus?” something that resembled a dangerous feeling suddenly flashed through his mind, as if an alarm had been sounded, but the sound was soon washed away by the sweetness of this wine. “I’m pretty sure I’ve heard of that…yes. There were three crewmen of mine who had eaten the lotus when we were on that island…had to drag them along anyway, since they didn’t want to go home anymore. And now…I think I’m beginning to understand their feelings.”
“And what do you think? About this idea of going home, I mean.” The goddess prompted.
“Going home? It sounds great. But now that I think about it…” with a mind that was pending, swimming in past memories, Odysseus was trying to find an answer.
There was a place that I once called “home”.
There was a woman I loved, and am still loving.
There was a son I wanted to meet, and cradled him in the shade of my tree.
But the power of Lotus is just too strong to resist.
Ithaca, how I wish to return to you, but endless hardships have rendered that hopeless. I took too long…now I just need some rest.
Penelope, what I wouldn’t give to see your face again…but the cruel Fates have tried their best to keep me apart from you. And I tried my best, I tried…and still, I couldn’t get back to you, and I guess I’ll never be able to.
Telemachus…we haven’t even met yet, but how I have died to know you…are you trying to make your father proud when he returns, in the past twelve years? If only you can hear me, yes, whatever you do, I’ll always be proud of you.
And if that counts as a farewell…
“My sorrow is immense, goddess, and it couldn’t be cured unless I’m finally home,” he answered tentatively.
“Don’t you worry,” the goddess gave him a smirk. “I have plenty of Lotus here.”
“That’s…good to know, I guess,” he sighed heavily. And now I’m letting a plant take away my strength of will.
“So…will you stay?”
“I…I guess I’ll stay,” he finally caved in. It’s a prison I couldn’t escape. But at least I won’t be spending the rest of my days sobbing, so broken by the sea.
Just let the Lotus wash away my sorrow.
“Now let’s go to bed, shall we?”
“Let’s go to bed, if that’s what you wish.”
The goddess quickly led him to the depth of her hollow cave, with a victorious smile forming on her lips. Odysseus followed close behind, the sweet taste of Lotus lingering on his tongue, bidding him to forget about his trials and tribulations, so at last, he might relish this short moment of happiness, no longer having to worry about a homecoming so toilsome, for today and the days to come.
When the rosy-fingered dawn arose, when Helios drove his chariot skywards, a sea crow came, flapping its wings to land on the once-again empty shores, poking a shell with its beak tentatively. It spent half of its day wandering along the shoreline, looking for food and other playthings. It will continue to visit tomorrow, and then tomorrow still. It’s such a good place to enjoy some peace and quiet, for nobody is here to bother. Nobody ever will.