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Chan, bone tired, was finally getting into the car for his ride home from the solo schedule he just finished when his phone rang. Their manager.
"Chan, finally, I need you here asap; the kids are gone and are currently giving me heart palpitations," their manager said, sounding slightly panicked.
That threw Chan into a state of frenzy, his heart rate picking up immediately.
"What do you mean, you lost the kids? It's a closed-off event! They can't be gone!" he half-screeched into his phone.
"We searched, even with security, and still haven't seen a single one of them in an hour, I was just gone for 2 minutes to go to the toilet before we wanted to go, I swear! But when I came back, not a single one was in sight. Please don’t kill me." Their manager probably feared for his job (and Chan’s wrath).
He shouldn’t have expected anything else, but the kids guaranteed him everything would be fine; they had been there the year before, that they were grown and could behave. But of course not! The one night he wasn't with them, they managed to get lost. All 7 of them!
"It’s probably not your fault. Noone can keep them from getting lost anyway, but why haven't you called earlier? I would have come immediately."
He didn't like the idea of the kids not being safe and sound, where they should be. He shouldn't have agreed to go on a solo event!
"We weren't supposed to disturb you. You needed to stay till the end, it's an important event!"
Chan felt anger rising in him at that. "Well, surely not more important than the kids!
"Could you please redirect as fast as possible to the Hollywood Palladium, where the kids are tonight?" Chan said to his driver, who turned the next possible chance.
"I'm on my way." After checking the route, he added, "Shouldn't take more than 20 minutes."
"That's good, I'm going to tell security that you'll come."
"I'll be there as fast as possible, and thank you for doing your best, I knew you were hesitant to keep watch of them tonight."
"Thank God, you're on your way. I need two weeks of vacation after this." Their manager was clearly still panicked but a little calmer now that Chan rescuing him was in sight and he wasn’t promised a violent death at the leader hands.
That left Chan to twitch nervously for the entire duration of the ride, stuck in the endless possibilities of what could have happened to the kids to have each and everyone missing. He couldn’t think of anything else.
Honestly, them being abducted was his last worry, the kidnappers would probably return them within the hour, with how annoying and troublesome they could be. But that still left him with a plethora of ways they could be hurt or unwell.
***
Chan arrived exactly 19 minutes later, sprinting out of the car to see his manager waiting nervously beside security at the entrance, but slowing down slightly so as not to garner too much attention. They didn't need to make the news with something like this again. He really should have learnt from last time.
"Chan, finally!" Their manager sighed in relief at seeing Chan, turning to the security guard. "That's the one who's going to find the missing idols I told you about.“
"So, that's the guy who's going to find the lost ones? Good luck with that," one of the guards snickered. Another one said, "How did you even acquire such chaotic people? They must be pure hell to keep watch of every single day!"
His manager basically choked on air at hearing that.
"Hey, they can behave too, and I didn't know I would legally adopt 7 children when they made me leader!" Chan loved them, he really did, but one had to admit that they were hell on the best of days. Still, he did try to save his kid's graces, not that there was much to save.
"Nah man, I feel for you, how haven't you died of stress yet?" One guard added, pushing Chan through the entrance of the building and leading him into the room discreetly.
"I honestly don't know," adding, "Where have you searched for them already?" Unease seeped into his voice after not spotting a single one of them.
"Everywhere, we searched everywhere you would expect idols to be!"
"First mistake: don't expect normal behaviour from them. They never behave like normal human beings."
Looking around the room, he managed to locate the member's completely barren table instantaneously, because all others were fully seated by the attendees.
All his hopes of the kids just returning were squashed, and Chan went into stress-fuelled efficiency-focus, already thinking of where they would most likely be because now he actually had to find them.
Damn, they should really play less hide-and-seek.
So, next destination. Chan made his way straight to the restrooms.
"Let's start with what you last saw them doing."
"You think we're going to find them like that?" One of the guards asked quizzically.
"Just trust him, he's always managed to find them," their manager replied.
To Chan, he said, "Well, before I left, Hyunjin chatted with a middle-aged woman in a very tight dress, Changbin was busy alternatingly staring either at his meal, Hyunjin, or both, Felix talked to this bickering celebrity couple, Seungmin looked dead into the air, but then chatted with some staff, I.N. was busy admiring the fashion, Minho and Han were just talking and joking, nothing out of the ordinary, I thought I was safe." He winced at that. No one was ever safe from them.
"Hell no, you thought wrong, when they behave suspiciously, they plan ultimate chaos and doom or something has already happened! You should know that by now." But now Chan had an inkling where they could be.
***
They were just walking down the hallway to the restrooms when he spotted a supply closet. Heard faint clattering.
The case was clear, he already knew who hid there from all the "weird English people." They could have gotten at least a little bit more creative.
Chan went straight to the door and was just reaching for the handle when one of the men stopped him. "What are you doing? They're for sure not in there! They store cleaning supplies there, and only staff has keys."
"Bet on it? Minho and Jisung are in there." Chan was sure. "And locks have literally never been a problem.“
Someone was just not so subtle coughing in the background. Ah, his kids with their latent criminal tendencies, always shocking unsuspecting bystanders.
"Minho, Jisung, you stop sucking faces this second, get presentable, and open the door now, or I'm going to open it for you." Switching to Korean.
"Fuck you, Chan" was the only thing he could make out under the frantic rustling.
The guards exchanged wide-eyed looks, they probably hadn't expected that. "Supply closet snogging. Very unsurprising“. The guards didn't seem any less irritated. Oh well. He should probably get in touch with the venue to check their NDAs, just to be sure. At least the two had the decency to find a closet this time. Not that one of them would actually mind being found out.
When the door opened, the first thing he saw was Minho, his feline eyes crunched in a promise of revenge, his red, swollen lips and his form trying to hide Jisung.
"Come on, that's on you, we need to get the others." Grabbing Minho and pulling him out of the closet. Jisung came out too, Minhos hand somehow still connected to his ass.
Chan reached up to fix their mussed-up hair, not that that would save them, they looked like they had been in there a little too long. Jisungs doe eyes looked at Chan apologetically.
“How did you even get in? The door should have been locked,“ one of the guards asked incredulously.
Minho just flashed him his best Cheshire smile, a maniac glint faintly visible in his eyes. He always understood way more English than he let on. But the guard didn’t even question him further. Probably didn’t want to know. It wasn’t something ordinary guests would do.
Not a good look for them if Chan were to be honest. What should they think of the members and his leadership in particular when they behaved like that?
"What are you even doing here? Shouldn't you be at the Fendi event?" a grumpy Minho enquired.
"Well, I was, until I got a call from manager-nim that all of you were missing!" Chan snapped back.
“You know how bored I get at events like those, I can only nod so often politely, pretending to understand what they are blabbering until I have to flee." Minho tried to defend himself, his offence clear at the insinuation.
“Minho, don't lie to me, you planned that. And if not you, Jisung did.“
Already turning to ask, "Where are the kitchens?“ He could still catch how Jisung's boba eyes widened in fake innocence, lips pursing. Today had been his plot then.
"The kitchens? Down here. But they're already closed," the guard left to him supplied.
Chan could hear one of the guards whispering, "Why does he want to go to the kitchens?" "Don't question him, he already found two of them,"another guard replied.
***
When they reached the kitchen, Chan pushed in, his theory proven right, just as he spotted Changbin sitting on one of the spotless stainless steel counters, with a plate in his hands, eating what seemed like lamb shoulder like a starving man, one of the cooks left staring at him in amusement.
At hearing the group enter, Changbin's head whipped around, eyes wide, focusing on Chan.
"Hyung, what are you doing here?" he exclaimed happily, although barely understandable through his full mouth.
"I'm here to get you, what are you even doing here?" Chan said.
"The meat was so good, I didn't think anyone would miss me if I went and looked if they had any portions that didn't get delivered!" He readily explained in response.
The kitchen did smell delectable, like a finely cooked meal indeed. That reminded Chan that he hadn't had dinner yet, he had planned on ordering in tonight. He could have had dinner by now, his mood souring for a second there.
Chan turned his head to look at the kitchen staff, who said apologetically, "He looked like he was starving, I couldn't say no! At least someone appreciates the food."
"Understandable, but he is always hungry, come on Binnie, we need to go!" Chan said.
"But hyung! The food! And she was just telling me how they made it." Changbin looked downright miserable at the prospect of leaving his meat.
That was until the lady slid an aluminium foil pack down the counter. "You can take that one, we always pack some for staff, but you'll appreciate it, it‘s yours."
Changbin squealed in joy, snagging up the container to trail after Chan. "Thank you! I'll eat it with great joy," he responded in his tiny English.
Chan threw a thankful nod at the kitchen staff, pulling Changbin closer. "You made me miss my dinner at home to get you, so you're going to have to share, it smells delicious, alright?" That dimmed changbins joy a little.
Chan took a little moment outside of the kitchen doors to think about the next place to search. "Felix talked to a couple, you said".
"Yeah, but they weren't here together, they're always on and off—painful to watch, really," one of the guards replied.
"Ooooh, that makes sense, Felix can practically smell disharmony. Is there some more closed-off seating area around?"
"There is, but it is relatively far away? On the other side of the gallery, and its staff only."
"That has never stopped anyone ever, lest not Felix on a mission, come on, I have a feeling." Taking them to the next flight of stairs, already knowing the way up to the gallery, having used it to watch on his kids afar from the masses last year. It had proven useful, he had been able to oversee the whole room.
***
They were just trailing down the hallway to the doors of the gallery, everyone behind Chan, when he spotted a blink of light behind the toned glass doors just as he reached the opening.
Chan immediately got suspicious, stepped through, stopped, and closed it right in the face of the security guard, looking at Seungmin.
"Seungmin, what are you doing here with a camera?"
"Hyung! Well, you see..." Seungmin was a mix between looking like a deer caught in the headlight and already thinking of a non-suspicious answer.
"Spit it out, Seungminnie, we don't have all evening, it can't be worse than Jisung and Minho sneaking off to snog in the supply closet."
"O well, then, I was just hoping to catch JYP drunk," Seungmin admitted.
"First of all, how do you even know he's in attendance, and secondly, why do you want photos of him? You can't stand him," Chan asked incredulously.
"You remember the Monday meeting? He had that evil glint in his eyes. He wants me to colour my hair pink, I swear to you! I need blackmail! For my protection. And I just checked the guest list, no witch work.“ Seungmin whispered-screamed in defence.
Chan snickered at that. Seungmin still had nightmares from the last time he had to dye his hair pink.
"Come on, Hyunjin, Felix, and I.N. are still missing."
"You're lucky I already got properly incriminating shots." Seungmin replied grumpily, but let himself be dragged away more or less willingly.
When Chan opened the door again, it was to the look of a confused group of people. But Chan just threw Seungmin at them. "Look at who I found," turning to cross the gallery.
"What did you do?"
"I tried to get compromising photos of JYP, I am not ready for pink hair again."
"Well done, kid! I managed to sneak off with Hannie."
Chan could basically see the devilish smirk on Minho's face, he was way too proud of himself. He had looked Chan dead in the eye and played angel while guaranteeing nothing would happen tonight! He shouldn’t have expected anything else honestly.
Just as they were coming closer, Chan could hear a familiar, thickly accented, deep voice between some undefined sobbing, definitely Felix. Chan felt himself relaxing a little. Of all his kids, Felix was the most likely to actually get lost on him. So hearing his voice calmed him, at least enough to knock beforehand on the door before entering.
"Lix-yah, it's Chan. Can I come in?
"Oh, Channie? Sure." The answer came immediately, Felix answered in English, his voice bright.
Just as Chan entered, he could see the alleged couple sobbing in each other's arms. "You are the love of my life." The only thing said barely understandable between all the hiccups and tears.
Felix sat on the couch facing the couple, looking proud of himself.
When he spotted Chan, he lightened up, a wide smile gracing his face, getting up to hug him.
"Chan! I was just telling them about emotional availability when you came, but I think I'm all done here," Felix said, his homeland accent thickened by his excitement, a pensive look decorated his face, leaning to whisper in his ear, "They need to figure out the rest themselves," skipping out of the room, throwing one last look at the pair, "And remember, you need to talk about your feelings, that's important! It was nice meeting you!".
One of the guards took a perk into the room before saying, "Is that what I think it is? Are they like good now?"
Felix replied easily. "They should, if they really like each other, like they say."
The guard threw a wide-eyed look at his colleagues. "You're a magician to get them to talk, man! If they stop fighting at every single event, we are forever indebted to you!
Felix just giggled, turning to Chan, "What are you even doing here?"
"Our manager called in a frenzy, you were all missing, and they couldn't find any of you, so they called me," Chan answered.
"Sorry, hyung," Felix managed to look both sheepish and not a single ounce regretful. But honestly, with that angelic face, Chan couldn't be angry at him.
"It's alright, let's just find the other ones."
"Oh, I don't see Hyunjin here, he must be still missing, you know, when I last saw him, he was talking to Donatella."
"Who is this Donatella?" Chan didn't know a Donatella.
"Versace, Channie-hyung, Donatella Versace" Felix scolded Chan like he was supposed to know everyone and their mother (usually he did).
"Versace, oh my, any clue where they might be?" Chan asked into the round.
"Versace dressed a lot of celebrities tonight, they have their own wardrobe room tonight," one of the guards helpfully supplemented.
"Let's go there then." He should have seen something like that coming in the US. People in Korea were more or less used to Hyunjin's facecard; here, Hyunjin always drew immense attraction.
***
They made their way to the wardrobes, the guards leading him there, the door wide open, shining light onto the shadow-cast hallway.
"Oh my, so handsome! Please tell me you‘ll model for us!" Chan could hear a female swoon and a nervous, trademark Hyunjin-giggle in response.
When they entered, Hyunjin could be seen wearing a different suit than his pre-planned outfit, something with way more pizazz than was considered proper for any male at an event like this. His hair was open instead in his usual ponytail.
Probably-Donatella, looking at him adoringly, clutching her hands in front of her chest, whispered, "So perfect, like you were made for it."
Chan had to admit that Hyunjin looked even more radiant under the bright lights than usual. It made him look all sparkly. Changbing would love it.
The moment broke when Changbin screamed, "Hyunjin-ah, you look too good for us mere mortals, please have mercy!" So Changbin definitely loved it.
That made Hyunjin turn to the group, still shocked by loudness, even after all those years, before his smile widened in recognition.
"Donatella, that is my group, I told you about them!" he exclaimed, his accent peeking out cutely due to his immense exhilaration. He loved Versace.
Donatella immediately took them in, eyes widening in surprise. "All of you are so handsome! But Darlings, I need to know, is your manager here with you?"
"He’s here," Changbin aswered while pushing him up to the front of their group.
Donatella, taking the chance at sight, talked to the manager, gesturing broadly, not stopping talking for a single second. Their manager could hardly keep up.
Hyunjin strolled over to them and asked, "What are you all doing with security here?"
"Apparently, we were all missing, and our dear manager panic-dialled Chan to save his job," Seungmin deadpanned, which had Hyunjin laughing out loud.
"Come on, we still have to find Innie, then we're done." Chan didn't want to interrupt, but on the other hand, he just wanted to get on with finding him and then finally, finally getting home.
"Oh no worries, he came in a little while ago, though he went a room further, he ran into a waiter with a tablet of wine on the way to the toilets, so the noonas tried to salvage what they could, but he was pretty down,“ Guilt seeped into Hyunjinface after having nearly forgotten about I.N.
"Innies here, that's good at least, Innie?" Chan immediately called out for him.
He could hear Felix whispering to Hyunjin, "You managed to sack Versace? You go!" and a giddy Hyunjin answering, "She wants to sign me!"
It didn't take long for I.N.'s face to peek through the door, having just come from the adjacent room, looking miserable at the obvious wine spill on his nice dress shirt.
Not wanting to see him sad, Chan jogged over, handing him his suit jacket. "Here you go, just wear that on top, then the spill won't be visible." Bit I.N. still looked guilty.
Hand on his shoulder, he added, "Don't worry, Innie, that happens to the best of us. We can get the wine out at home, my mom taught me a few tricks after one too many dinner accidents," winking at him.
At seeing a faint smile on the youngers face again, Chan knew that he was already feeling better, pushing him to the others, who immediately integrated him into whatever discussion they currently held. He could hear the faint words of twerking and battle. He probably didn't want to know.
Before he was able to step away, in search of their manager in the now overfilled room, I.N. quickly grabbed his wrist, pulling him back, closer to him, whispering in his ear, „Thank you, hyung, you're the best,“ his signature dimpled smile gracing his face that Chan loved so much, before turning back to the others.
Stepping back and seeing all his kids reunited, let Chan sigh in relief. His mission was complete, now he had to get them home and to bed safe and secure.
It was already quite late in the evening, but he just had to take a little moment, watching the group chatter excitedly about their evening, feeling a smile rise on his face. They were so cute like that, Felix gesturing wildly, the others laughing, Changbin's laughter standing out like always, their maknae smiling again after his little wardrobe malfunction. Chan was glad that they always had each other.
When he could finally tear himself away from the sight, he spotted their manager and the fashion lady still engrossed in discussions, walking over and gently intersecting, "Alright, it's late. I need to get the kids home, but I'm sure Hyunjin would absolutely love to work with you! Here's my number, we can definitely arrange a meeting soon. It was so nice meeting you!” Flashing her his most charming smile. It always worked well for him, when he had to inconvenience someone.
"Oh, I forgot the time darling, it was nice to meet you too," she said, walking over the short way to Hyunjin, clutching his hands. "Well talk, and please keep the suit, it's perfect for you! Let them look and speculate on the way out!
Hyunjin blushed faintly but managed to reply, "Thank you so much! I look forward to hearing from you and I'll wear it with pride!"
With that, Chan gently nudged his kids, telling them, "Hurry up, we need to get home, dance practice is early tomorrow. Form a neat little line, we don't want to lose anyone: Lix and Jinnie in front, Minho and IN, then Changbin and Jisung after. Don’t pout, Jisung, you can have Minho again in the car, Seungmin, you go with me. I don’t want to see anything but polite smiles and sociable waves if necessary until we get to the car, and that's for all of course, but Minho, especially for you, no ass grabbing, slapping, or fondling, not even a tiny bit.“
The choir of groans he was met with was quite loud, but one look from him had them shut up.
Chan heard the guards snickering behind them as he held his little speech and then watched the kids following his instructions, forming a more or less organised line.
The guards would probably have the time of their lives if they knew that Chan learnt all of his leader (or more fitting parenting) skills through numerous guides for preschool teachers and that the tips he employed actually had proven to work on his 7 grown-ass men immediately.
The guards escorted them to the exit, cars already waiting. Chan trailed at the tail end of them, not risking to lose them again, keeping check of their headcount.
Before the door, the guards stopped him. "That was impressive, we wouldn't have found a single one of them, and you barely took 20 minutes!" "Yeah, mad respect, man!"
"I have to thank you for your efforts and keeping us outside of eyes! That could have ended in true disaster." Chan was really thankful for them doing their job well, it wasn't a given, he had experienced different.
"No worries, they’re lovely, but do come with them next time please," one of them pleaded.
"Will do that," Chan chuckled.
"You are one stress-resistant man, Mr. Bang, but you are totally their dad, good luck with them bro,“ the last guard screamed after Chan, waving at him enthusiastically. He was probably glad to be rid of them for the evening.
While Chan had to admit that they were incredibly exhausting most of the time, they made up for it so easily through the love, happiness, and interest they brought into his life, although he could easily skip evenings like this, they would give him grey hairs at that rate.
***
When they were all seated, their manager poked his head in.
"Chan, Thank you so much for finding them, tell them a word from me. I would do it myself, but I'm heading home, the wife waits!" Then he was gone, glad to be finally off on his well-deserved weekend.
With that, the doors closed, and Chan readied himself for scolding. He had a good 30 minutes before they were home, enough time to make them aware of their actions that caused tonight’s chaos.
But before he could get even one word out, he could see the kids turning on their little cute faces. Sheepish looks were thrown in his direction before they broke out in a mix of:
"At least you get dinner now!"
"I've gathered blackmail, we're safe for now from pink hair," Chan saw Hyunjin shutter in disgust at the memory.
"At least they talked about their problems. Open Communication is so important, Channie-hyung."
"I could have kissed him plain in the open, remember that!"
"Minho, that doesn't make it better at all." Jisung swatted Minho on the arm, exasperated look on his face.
"I befriended Donatella," Hyunjin whisper-screamed.
I.N. didn’t even say anything; he just pulled his maknae card, flashing him a dimpled smile.
„You're all unbelievable!“ Chan just dragged his hands down his face in exasperation. Why did he sign up for this? He was proud of them generally and loved them to pieces, but why did they have to be like this? Why did he leave them alone?
When his kids saw their tired leader, they stopped their incessant chatter, turning to look at each other in silence, then looking at him with apologetic, wide eyes and saying, "We're really sorry, hyung, we know we scared you, and we will behave from now on."
Their eyes were working, Chan wouldn't lie, they were always sorry for causing him worry, but he couldn't let that slide.
"That's what you said today! and last time! Chaos is your default!" He probably said that way too bluntly to hide his overflowing emotions—the mix of worry, anger, disappointment, and the feeling of guilt at having left them alone—all intensified by his exhaustion. But he was just too tired to really care anymore. The day had been way too long.
"Oh, Channie-hyung, we love you, you know that? When we do shit like this, it's not your responsibility," Minho of all told him softly.
The other kids joined in one after one, "Yeah, we love you hyung, you always do so much for us. We really appreciate that."
“We‘ll be more mindful of where we wander off, or at least tell someone!“ Jisung added. The prospect of that made Chan feel better.
Now he couldn’t even try to seriously scold them anymore, even if he really should. They were just too precious, his anger melting right away.
He was such a pushover, but he just couldn’t stay mad, it was physically impossible for him.
Changbins hand was heavy on his shoulder as he pushed the still-warm aluminium pack in his lap, “Here you go, food helps," pressing a pair of one-use chopsticks into his hands, probably a leftover from one of their spontaneous, mid-drive food stops.
Their voices filled the otherwise quiet van on their way home, telling him of all he had missed the evening.
Even after this rather exhausting evening, he wouldn't change them for anything else because, surrounded by his members, Chan felt at home. They were his family, his slightly chaotic and messy family, but his family nonetheless.