Chapter Text
kissboy jayce found out he was gay by using a bidet
9:39 a.m.
melfunction: every time i open this gc i am reminded of my pure poetry.
viktorious: truly the pinnacle of craftsmanship.
bananas: i hate french people
violence: realk
bucky barnes: Agreed.
cupcake: who don't you hate?
bananas: vi
violence: AWW
violence: love u too sis
jinx: piss off actually
cupcake: 😭
the lorax: replied to "i hate french people" what did they do this time
bananas: bidet
bananas: it rhymes with gay
gayce: uhm homophoobe
bananas: my sister and her gf r literally in this gc stupid
gayce: oh right
viktorious: 💀
viktorious: mel, take him back.
gayce: BABE???
melfunction: nah i'm good u keep him
viktorious: dammit.
cupcake: oh...
bucky barnes: Loser.
gayce: DOUBLE U TEE EFF GUYS
bananas: why is it not bidET
bananas: hard t
the lorax: idk ppl r just extra ig
violence: extra stupid
viktorious: extra terrestrial
lest fest: extravagant?
melfunction: well done
lest fest: thanks!
bucky barnes: No, not well done. We hate the French.
the lorax: i like their music
bananas: i do too
the lorax: you do?
bananas: i do.
lest fest: i like their food.
lest fest: crepes and tarte tartine
violence: and cupcakeds
cupcake: so close!! those are actually American <3 hope this helps! :)
violence: 😐
gayce: then why dose the french bkaery by the academy sell thm
violence: HA
violence: EXPLIAN TAHT
bucky barnes: Money.
violence: oh
viktorious: makes sense.
gayce: can we go back to u dumping me tho
viktorious: i'm in my straight era i fear.
bananas: no tf u ain't
bananas: mf can't even walk straight
bananas: sit ur zesty ass down b4 u add delusion to ur long list of health problems
violence: DAMN EAT HIM UP GRIL
cupcake: WHY ARE YOU ENCOURAGING THIS?
bucky barnes: The better question is: why are you not?
lest fest: he looks a little like Jesus if i'm being honest.
viktorious: i don't deserve this slander.
melfunction: no you don't king. no you don't.
melfunction: anyways i think it's the robe.
cupcake: and the hair
viktorious: i will gloriously evolve you all.
bananas: don't threaten me w a good time
violence: it's not a good thng sis
lest fest: replied to "i will gloriously evolve you all." is this your version of 'imma touch u' perhaps?
gayce: LMFAO
melfunction: HEPLp
the lorax: if viktor is Jesus does that mean jayce is judas
the lorax: cuz like. betrayal
gayce: no jesus nd judass never made out sloppy style
violence: WHART
viktorious: JAYCE.
the lorax: oh-
cupcake: i knew it.
gayce: liar
cupcake: mf i grew up with you.
cupcake: you think i couldn't tell?
gayce: nuh uh
gayce: pants on fire
cupcake: 💀
bananas: replied to "you think i couldn't tell?" takes 1 to know 1 ig
gayce: ok well
gayce: not like nybody else cloud tell
violence: i could bruh
the lorax: replied to "takes 1 to know 1 ig" point proven
violence: shut up
violence: tjeres a reason we call u littel man
melfunction: replied to "not like nybody else could tell" right here hoe.
melfunction: going to heimer's lab to 'confer with the professor' mhm sureee buddy.
cupcake: he was conferring with a twink's asscheeks unfortunately.
viktorious: my asscheeks are none of your business.
lest fest: ahahaha reading that in the accent makes it 10x funnier!
bananas: caitlyn core
bananas: conferring with the undercity's underside
violence: 😨
bucky barnes: Thanks for sharing, Jinx. Much appreciated.
bananas: cry abt it
cupcake: hey, now. who said i was the one under? 🤔
violence: CAI T
viktorious: stop being gay on main.
gayce: damn jst say u want me gone..
viktorious: i don't want you gone, you idiot. i like you.
bananas: BOO 👎
gayce: !!
gayce: i smell a homoseggsual
viktorious: you're a child.
gayce: im your child ;)
violence: what the fuck
viktorious: replied to "im your child ;)" NO, no you are NOT. i will now cancel you on x dot com.
melfunction: @lestfest holy shit ur right its so much better with the accent
the lorax: proshippers DNI 🙅❌😤
gayce: HEYWAIT A DAMN MINUTE
gayce: THAT IS NYATT WHAT I MEANT !
bananas: piltover post is gonna eat ts UP
gayce: NONONO JINX NO
violence: YESYESYES JINX YES
cupcake: YOU WOULDN'T?
the lorax: she would
bananas: I WOULD 🔥
violence: DO IT DO IT DO IT
gayce: PLEAS
gayce: I BEG
bananas: SO MANY SCREENSHOTS
viktorious: pookie... you promised only to beg to me...
melfunction: welcome to the club babe.
gayce: NO I DIDINT MENA THST
gayce: LET ME DEFBEND NYSELF
bananas: SO MANY SCREENSHOTS
lest fest: not a whole lot you can do now lol.
gayce: IS IT NATOINAL HATE JAYCE DAY OR WJAT
bucky barnes: That's every day.
melfunction: it's true.
melfunction: we even celebrate here in Noxus.
bucky barnes: We Hate the Jays every day in Zaun.
gayce: SHUT UP CYBORG
violence: damn ur instults suck almost as mych as u do
the lorax: is that a sex joke or a bullying jab
violence: y not both
viktorious: he just types fast, that's all.
melfunction: honestly he gets really excited and just. goes.
viktorious: tends not to think about what comes out, though.
lest fest: i think that much is evident. 😔
melfunction: ugh REALLL
violence: so hes styupid enouf for all f the abve
gayce: YOYU CANNOT POSSIBLEY BE TALKING W UR TYPOES
violence: YHEA RIGHT HIPPOCRYTE
gayce: ITS HYPPOCRITE DUMBASS
violence: I KNWE THAT
violence: I WAS TESTING U FUCKFACE
gayce: BITCH
bananas: yep there we go
bananas: cherry on top
gayce: JINX NO
violence: JINX YES
bananas: bye bye jayce have fun being banned on tiktok
gayce: nooo dont do it your so seggsy ahaha
the lorax: ok back the fuck up
viktorious: literally.
bananas: IM GONNA DO IT
bananas: @the lorax COME WITH??
the lorax: always
bananas: AHAHAHAHAHA
bananas: THIS IS GOING 2 B SOOO FUN
the lorax: ALREADY OMW
lest fest: oh to be young and in love.
melfunction: blowing stuff up together 😍
lest fest: ruining people's lives 🥰
cupcake: overthrowing the government ❤
violence: becoming emo 🖤
viktorious: ascending to godhood. 🫶
bucky barnes: Helping children kill their siblings.
lest fest: oh that's not...
melfunction: that's not love, that's trauma.
melfunction: on like. galactic levels.
lest fest: LMAO galactic
bucky barnes: Lame ass gays. Show us some drama. Get Maddie involved.
melfunction: NAH
viktorious: oh shit.
violence: @cupcake look we made anoither sad fart jealous!
cupcake: this time it's an old one!
violence: r u gonna add it to our collexction
cupcake: yessss
bucky barnes: I will raise the drinking age.
violence: nooo dont doit ur so secgxy ahhaha
melfunction: LOL NOT AGAIN-
lest fest: i've got things better than alcohol... ;)
violence: no way dats not possibel
lest fest: come over and find out 😻
melfunction: :(
cupcake: mate that's my girlfriend piss off actually yk whatgo fuck yourslef hontesly idgaf cuz im faihthful nd taht was 1 tiem thing i diddnt feven lik m*dd*e ok
violence: calm down love were not srs
viktorious: okay caitlyn we understand.
lest fest: sorry, caitlyn. i was only joking. i didn't realize it was still a problem.
cupcake: i don't have a problem
bananas: no u got 99 problems
the lorax: but a bitch ain't 1!
bananas: YESSIR
violence: see cait?
violence: 99 problems but m*dd*e aint 1
cupcake: thanks, vi
violence: shes the bitch fyi
cupcake: i know, vi
gayce: i think we gathered that genius
bananas: just had to clear it up for others who lack intelligence
bananas: ahem
gayce: excuse you i have plenty of intelligence
melfunction: he does. it comes in the form of viktor
viktorious: you flatter me.
melfunction: of course king
gayce: every day is a struggle for me
violence: powpow, ekko, viktor, and i who grew up in the undercity: 🧍
gayce: and yet you cant understand the tragedy of getting a racist green ferrari when u wanted dusty rose pink
bucky barnes: I am going to strangle you.
violence: lowkey forgot u were here ngl
bucky barnes: Good thing I didn't ask you.
viktorious: jinx core
the lorax: i mean. she did kind of raise her...
viktorious: wait really?
lest fest: so i wouldn't be wrong if i said mommy?
melfunction: honey you were never wrong.
cupcake: 😭
violence: 4ever grateful our kinks r normall
cupcake: ...sure
bananas: yk vivi is missing an arm right
bucky barnes: HOW MANY TIME do I need to tell you NOT to call me ANY sort of nickname?!
bananas: its between this and mommy which 1 do u want sticking
melfunction: MOMMY
lest fest: AWOOGA
bucky barnes: I feel mildly disturbed. Which is a lot, coming from someone who endured teenage Jinx.
bananas: yk i also whooped her ass into the 7th circle of hell too
melfunction: 🫢
bucky barnes: You absolutely did not. You are, once again, delusional.
bananas: DENIAL IS A RIVER IN EGYPT
bucky barnes: Fuck you.
bananas: fuck you too xoxo
viktorious: 😭
the lorax: mood