Chapter Text
Evbo sat on the edge of the temple roof, watching as the sun sank into the Void.
It was exactly one year since the day he defeated the Parkour Villain and became parkour. Even in that short time, the changes that had been made to Parkour Civilization were obvious.
From his vantage point, he could see all the levels spread out below him. The Master level, with its gleaming towers and notably less perilous staircases. The Pro level, whose players had decorated their once-identical houses with flowerpots, banners, and front gardens. The Noob level, Evbo’s former home, which now bustled with new residents and freshly-planted wheat fields.
And, off in the distance was the Fighter level, now connected to Parkour Civilization with bridges on all levels. Though many Fighters were still resistant to rejoining Parkour Civilization, they had been willing to allow access to their layer’s parkour courses and library in exchange for the food and blocks they had long gone without.
Evbo would like to say it was all his doing, but it wasn’t. He had been the one to bring back everyone who had died in parkour races, and he had been the one to reunite the five layers, but everything else?
Well, there had been his Ally, the Fighter, who helped smooth over relations. There was Seawatt, whose knowledge of life under the different Champions had been vital to rebuilding and improving Parkour Civilization (though he was still kept under watchful eye).
And there had been EMF, leading the way as the new Champion. The first few months, he spent more time complaining to Evbo about the command blocks than actually using them, but he soon got the hang of it.
Now, he was far better of a Champion than Evbo had ever been. He had been the one to seek out Seawatt and the Fighters’ knowledge of the old way of life, reintroducing farming to the Noobs. He had created easy paths and parkour highways throughout Parkour Civilization, allowing people from all levels to visit each other and form connections. He even had the Masters coming up with designs for new buildings.
Below him, in the fading sunlight, people in a rainbow of boots were gathering on the Master level. Evbo still had trouble believing this could be his life. While he had been focused on making the next jump, setting the next goalpost, the world had changed for the better.
Footsteps echoed up from the parkour route to the temple roof, and Evbo looked straight down to see EMF speeding through the course. He lost his balance on the second-to-last jump, but managed to catch himself on the wall before hopping up next to Evbo.
With the night sky behind him, EMF looked like little more than a crown and a pair of eyes, but the sight of his friend still brought a smile to Evbo’s face.
“Nice save back there,” Evbo said.
EMF groaned. “Ugh, I thought you didn’t see that.”
“Don’t worry, bro, I’ve seen you fail tons of jumps,” Evbo replied, leaping to his feet. “At least you didn’t fall down to the Noob level.”
“That was one time! And I only fell so far because you were– hey!” EMF had wheeled a finger on Evbo, but paused when he noticed the mischievous grin on Evbo’s face.
Evbo held his hands up in defeat, taking a step back. “Just kidding! Man, you’re too easy to rile up.”
“And for a god, you’re awfully childish,” EMF muttered, crossing his arms. “Anyways, I came to tell you the feast is about to start. It’s time for your grand entrance.”
His grand entrance—that was going to be something for the parkour history books. With no other duties to speak of, Evbo had used his position as the Parkour God to develop new types of parkour. This would be the culmination of his last year of work.
Evbo straightened his headband and tightened the knot. “I’ll be ready whenever you give the signal.”
“See you at the feast, then.” With that, EMF leaped off the temple roof, diamond boots briefly catching the dying light as he plummeted towards the central square on the Master level.
EMF should be giving his speech at this very moment. Evbo was glad he had been spared the microphone this time—people always complained that he kept repeating himself if he talked too long.
With the little time he had, he did some basic leg stretches, then a couple jumps along the roof edge. Maybe as a god he didn’t need to warm up, but he liked the rush of blood in his ears.
Suddenly, a firework exploded a couple dozen blocks above him, bathing the temple roof in green light. That was his signal.
Without giving himself time to overthink this, he sprinted towards the edge of the roof and jumped. Air whipped through his hair and dragged at his hoodie as he fell down, down, down, and the torches and lanterns of the feast grew closer, closer, closer.
Angling his body slightly to his right, he landed in a glass tube of water at the back of the square.
His momentum slowed partway through the tube, giving him a brief chance to observe the hundreds of faces watching him, before he began to rise.
The bubbles from below him pushed him up into the air, scattering water droplets into the crowd below. He twisted his body around, landing in a second glass tube to his left.
As he sank into the water this time, he squinted through the cloud of bubbles beneath him. At the very bottom of the tank, small enough to go unnoticed by the crowd, was a stone button. He stretched his leg out until it pressed the button, then pushed himself off the floor and into the flow of the bubbles again.
When he shot into the air this time, he aimed for a spot a couple blocks off of the ground. The timing was perfect. Just as he had practiced, the piston mechanism triggered, sending a column of stone blocks up to meet his foot.
With no time to spare, he bounded towards the next spot three blocks away, his foot once again landing on a newly formed platform. Next came a cartwheel, spanning two one-block gaps, with his hands briefly resting on the block in the middle.
One last jump remained—a great leap, complete with a signature Evbo 360, that brought him down to the ground behind the speaker’s podium.
His heart was pounding in his ears. He’d landed it. Oh, thank the Parkour God, he’d landed it!
EMF, who seemed to have appeared from nowhere, slung a towel over Evbo’s shoulders. The cheers of the crowd—had they been cheering the whole time?—were almost deafening, but they didn’t manage to drown out the shifting of stone and pistons as the temporary pillars retreated back into the floor.
A microphone was placed into Evbo’s hands, still trembling from the adrenaline. Evbo looked up at EMF, who gave him a nod and pushed him up to the podium.
“Thank you, everyone,” Evbo said, waving to the crowd. There was a brief burst of applause before the gathered players fell silent. “As you all know, I’m Evbo, and that was a little showcase of some of the new parkour I’ve been working on. What did you all think of it?”
The crowd cheered again. Evbo felt the tension leak out of his shoulders, a smile forming on his face.
“I’m glad to hear you all liked it!” Clearing his throat, he continued. “Well, that’s about all I have to say. Thank you to everyone for coming out tonight and for all your work this past year to make Parkour Civilization the place it is today. Now, before the food gets cold, let’s dig in!”
He pumped his fist above his head to a final round of applause. Then, setting the microphone down on the podium, he grabbed EMF’s hand and dragged him off to the side of the dias.
“Yo, did you see that? I can’t believe I actually landed that combo!” Evbo said.
EMF placed his free hand on Evbo’s shoulder, the corner of his eyes crinkling with fondness. “I knew you were going to land it. If anyone was going to, it was going to be you.”
“Thanks, man.” Stepping back, Evbo started drying his hair off with the towel. “The water elevators still need some work, though. I’m sick of getting soaking wet every time I practice with them.”
“You say, smiling,” EMF retorted.
And well, what could he say to that? He was happy. Truly, honestly, happy.
After running his fingers through his hair a few times to tame it back into shape, Evbo folded up the towel and set it down behind a flowerpot. He slipped out of his netherite boots, stowing them away in his inventory, and put on his old gold boots. “How about we join the party, then?”
The square, like all things in Parkour Civilization, contained parkour. Simple jumps divided the area into the dias, where Evbo and EMF had been standing, and five larger islands. Along the perimeter were small floating gardens, where glow berries cast a ghostly light over ponds and tree leaves.
It was the larger islands in the center where the action was taking place. Tables in the four corner islands had been laid with steaks, bread, potatoes, carrots, fish stews and mushroom soups, along with pumpkin pies, cookies, and cakes. In the fifth center island, a temporary bar had been set up. Soul sand sat under tanks of bubbling water, and brewing stands were filled with colorful drinks and potions. All around, the sounds of glasses clinking, conversation, and laughter filled the air.
Evbo and EMF ended up sitting next to their Ally as they ate. Evbo listened to their conversation more than he joined in, instead helping himself to bread roll after bread roll. To think he had gone all these years, not knowing the joys of bread.
As he was reaching for his fifth or sixth roll, a familiar voice called out behind him, “Look who’s decided to mingle with the common folk.”
Evbo spun around. “Seawatt! Where have you been?”
Seawatt was standing with his hands on his hips, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. The firelight danced on his golden jewelry and polished chainmail boots, making him appear to glow.
Seawatt ignored the question, instead nodding his head in greeting towards EMF and their Ally. “Champion. Ally. I hope you’re enjoying the festivities.”
“I am, thank you,” EMF said, eyes narrowing.
“Come on, no being passive-aggressive with each other,” Evbo said, stepping between the staring contest in the making. “This is a celebration of peace and friendship. Any arguments can wait until tomorrow.”
“Your word is my command, oh Parkour God,” Seawatt said, bowing dramatically. EMF scoffed at that, but made no further comment.
Straightening up, Seawatt placed a hand on Evbo’s shoulder. “Anyway, Evbo, I was actually hoping to steal you away, if your companions don’t mind?”
EMF glared at Seawatt. “As long as you don’t try anything.”
“I appreciate your confidence in my parkour abilities, though I assure you it is entirely unfounded,” Seawatt replied. “Let’s go, then.”
“Glad to know everyone values my opinion,” Evbo grumbled, though there was no malice to it. He waved to EMF and their Ally, then stood up from his chair and followed Seawatt.
Seawatt led him on a circuitous route, jumping onto the smaller gardens before heading towards the central island. It was an easy course—the hardest jump in the whole thing was only three blocks—but it felt good to stretch his legs after being seated for so long.
They slowed once they landed on the central island, which had become more crowded as the party got underway. Seawatt pushed forward, carving a path for them to sit at two stools at the bar.
Evbo hopped onto one of the stools, his legs dangling just above the ground. “Taking me out for drinks now, are you?”
“And what’s so wrong with that?” Seawatt shot back, slipping onto his own stool. “It’s your big victory feast. You ought to be celebrating with fountains of champagne.”
“By that logic, since this is the anniversary of your crushing defeat, you should be drowning your sorrows in cheap booze.”
“There we find ourselves a shared goal: getting drunk. Who knew we had so much in common?”
Evbo laughed, waving the bartender over. It had taken a while for them to warm up to each other after Seawatt had been revived. For the first few weeks, Seawatt had refused to even speak to him, sitting in silence on the floor of his temporary jail cell.
However, after some of the Fighters had visited Seawatt, things had changed. It had started small, with Seawatt asking for Evbo, only to rant about how stupid his and EMF’s new policies were. Seawatt was cruel and untrustworthy, but some of his ideas for changing Parkour Civilization had been genuinely smart.
And so things progressed, until Evbo realized one day that, to his horror, he liked Seawatt now. He would still take any opportunity to destroy the man in a parkour battle, but somewhere along the line those feelings had turned from genuine hatred to a friendly rivalry.
Their friendship, though neither of them would call it that, was just one more of the many miracles of the past year.
The bartender, a newer player Evbo recognized as having recently ranked up to Pro, came over to the two of them. “Sorry for the wait! What can I get for you?”
“I’ll have a glass of melon wine,” Seawatt said immediately.
The bartender’s gaze turned to Evbo next, already pulling out a glass from underneath the counter.
“I’d like the…” Evbo started, before realizing he had no idea what he wanted.
Crap. There were no menus in sight. Was that normal for bars? Did everyone except him just know all the drinks?
Seawatt was staring at him now. He had to order. Clearing his throat, Evbo said, “I’d like what he’s having.”
The bartender nodded, pulling out a second glass and slipping away to the other side of the bar.
Seawatt rested his head on his hand, his expression carefully neutral. “I must say, you always manage to surprise me.”
“I– I do?” Evbo replied shakily.
“Didn’t take you for a wine guy, is all.” With his free hand, Seawatt traced the grain of the wooden bar counter.
Evbo had no response that would sound convincing, so he stayed silent, his eyes tracking Seawatt’s finger as it ran up and down the counter.
Two glasses slammed down in front of them, startling Evbo. Seawatt sat up straight, taking one glass and raising it in thanks as the bartender hurried away.
Turning back to Evbo, Seawatt tipped his glass towards him. “Well? Are we toasting or what?”
“Right! Yes. Toasting.” Evbo scrambled to grab his own glass, the bright red liquid inside sloshing dangerously close to the lip. He followed Seawatt’s lead and tipped his own glass forward until they clinked together.
“Cheers,” Seawatt said, raising the glass to his lips.
“Cheers.” Evbo took a sip of his drink.
Bleh.
He thought it would at least be sweet, since there was melon in it, but it was surprisingly bitter. The longer he held the wine in his mouth, the stronger the taste of alcohol grew, and he struggled to swallow it.
Seawatt huffed out a laugh, watching Evbo through half-lidded eyes as he sipped his own wine.
“What’s so funny?” Evbo asked, trying and failing to project confidence.
When Seawatt finally set down his glass, he held out a hand. “Give me that.”
“Wh- no! What the heck, bro?” Seawatt snatched the glass out of Evbo’s hands, setting it down behind him. “I was drinking that!”
“You’re not very good at lying, you know. You looked about ready to spit it out.”
Evbo’s face was burning up, half embarrassment and half annoyance with Seawatt. “I just thought it would taste different.”
Seawatt swirled his wine around in the glass, then took another swig of it. That stupid smirk was creeping back onto his face, and he had a gleam in his eyes Evbo didn’t like. “Don’t tell me this is your first time drinking.”
“Technically, no,” Evbo said, letting out a sigh. With Seawatt, trying to hide things only made the inevitable mockery worse.
“But?”
“But, it was only a couple times, back when I was a Noob.” When Seawatt didn’t cut in, Evbo took that as a sign to continue. “We didn’t have wine or spirits or anything like that, but I knew a girl who had a deal with one of the Pros. He’d sneak her wheat from their ranch, and she’d give him some of her homebrewed beer.”
“Was it any good?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t like it. It made me hungry—hungrier, that is—and I almost failed a jump after drinking too much. I didn’t drink after that.”
Seawatt hummed. He stared down at his wine like it contained all the secrets of the universe. Then, he looked up to meet Evbo’s eyes, the kohl around his eyelids making his expression seem far more serious.
“I could teach you, help you find what drinks you like,” he said quietly. “If you want, that is.”
The rest of the party—the people passing around them with trays of drinks, the bartenders shouting orders back and forth to each other—they all seemed to fade into the background, as if Seawatt and Evbo were the only ones really here.
Did Evbo want this? Drinking on the Noob level had, ironically, been a very sober affair. Get too rowdy and you had tired, angry Pros knocking at the door. The point wasn’t to have fun, but to stop feeling for a while.
But now, that didn’t need to be the case.
How a year could change things.
“I would like that, I think,” Evbo replied softly.
Seawatt smiled at him, without a hint of malice, and Evbo felt his heart turn to mush.
Evbo leaned back in his stool and forced a laugh. “Just don’t try to make me drink anything disgusting, okay?”
For some reason, Seawatt’s smile faltered, but he quickly returned to his usual smug look. “As long as you don’t get blackout drunk and puke on me.”
With that settled, they dived into the actual drinking.
The first thing Seawatt ordered for Evbo was a fizzy drink he called an apple chuhai.
“Back in the day, Fighters did a lot of managerial work on the other layers, and they’d bring back fruits and spirits to make cocktails like this,” he explained. “This is apple juice, a liquor made from carrots, and lots of sparkling water.”
The alcohol still left a bitter aftertaste, but the juice and bubbles helped. By the time he was halfway through, he’d almost forgotten the liquor was in there.
“How do they even get the bubbles to stay in this?” Evbo asked, holding his half-empty glass up to the light of a lantern.
“Soul sand. It’s the same idea as your cute little parkour trick back there.” Seawatt downed the last of his glass of wine before reaching for the one he’d stolen from Evbo. “Nice work on the redstone, by the way. It was simple, but for you it was quite impressive.”
“Thank you!” Evbo said, pointedly ignoring the insults surrounding the compliment. “Rigging up all the sticky pistons took forever, but it was totally worth it.”
“You know,” Seawatt said, “if you want parkour with redstone, you could look into doing things with dispensers. Hit people with speed or slowness potions as they go through a course.”
Evbo frowned, trying to imagine how a block was supposed to give players a potion effect. “Dispensers can’t challenge people to parkour battles, can they?”
“What? No, you’d rig them to throw a splash potion.”
Evbo gasped. “You’re saying I should, what, throw brewing stands at people? That sounds horrible!”
This was enough to startle a laugh out of Seawatt. He immediately clamped a hand over his mouth, looking as if someone had burned him. It was simultaneously pathetic and exceedingly endearing.
Seawatt schooled his expression back to “vaguely arrogant,” though he didn’t meet Evbo’s eyes. “You really are clueless, aren’t you?”
“Dude, you know nobody’s gonna get mad at you for laughing, right?” Evbo said, not bothering to hide the grin on his face.
“Shut up. Look, splash potions are made with gunpowder, which– wait, let me draw a diagram.”
Seawatt’s diagram showing how to brew different types of potions proved incomprehensible to Evbo, even ignoring the fact that the napkin Seawatt was writing on kept getting ripped. Still, his attempts to draw it gave enough time for Evbo to finish his first drink and Seawatt to place a second order.
This time, Evbo was handed a smaller glass with a piece of melon stuck on the rim. It tasted more strongly of alcohol, but there was an odd herbal flavor underneath that gave Evbo pause.
“What’s in this?” Evbo asked, interrupting a tangent Seawatt was on that he had long stopped following.
“That’s a high flyer, so there’s obviously melon in it, a shot of vodka, and a dash of a potion of leaping. Some people hate drinks with potion effects, so I ordered yours half-strength, just to be safe,” Seawatt said, plucking the melon off of Evbo’s glass and eating it. “But like I was saying, if you can get the brewing time just right…”
A pleasant warmth spread through Evbo’s body as Seawatt’s lecture washed over him. He finished his drink quicker than the first and ordered himself another one of the apple things. If he could just stay in this moment forever, he was starting to think he might be content.
That was until he heard a jukebox start up.
Evbo hopped off of his stool, gulping down the last of his drink. “Seawatt, come on, they’re starting the music.”
“Huh?” Seawatt said, picking up his third glass of wine for the night.
“I said come on!” Evbo grabbed his hand, dragging him off of his stool. Seawatt let out a yelp as he stumbled forward, wine spilling onto the front of his white robe.
Seawatt froze, staring down at red spots trailing down his chest. “Ugh, Evbo!”
“Sorry!” Evbo said. He let go of Seawatt’s hand and pressed the sleeve of his hoodie up against the stain, patting it dry. “In this lighting, nobody should notice anything, but I’ll make you a new robe tomorrow, okay?”
He looked up, expecting to see a scowl on Seawatt’s face. Instead, Seawatt’s eyes were wide, his mouth hanging open slightly. “Um. Okay. Yeah.”
Jeez, what was up with Seawatt tonight?
Evbo flashed him a smile. “Let’s go hit the dance floor, then.”
That brought Seawatt back to himself. He rolled his eyes, pointedly taking a long sip of his wine. “I can already tell this is going to be a disaster.”
Still, he let Evbo guide him through the crowd in the direction of the music. Evbo’s legs felt lighter than usual as he made the jumps over to one of the other platforms. It could have been either the alcohol or the potion of leaping, but he didn’t care which—he felt like he could clear a five-block jump with ease.
The rows of tables had been pushed towards the edge of the platform, creating a large open space in the middle. He hadn’t noticed before, but the floor was made entirely of redstone lamps, which now flickered on and off to the beat of the music. Already, a couple dozen people had started dancing, and there seemed to be more joining the dance floor every second.
Seawatt leaned back against one of the tables. He shooed Evbo with his free hand. “Go on, then, make a fool of yourself. I’ll be here watching.”
“Like I’d let you get away that easily,” Evbo said, grabbing hold of Seawatt’s wrist. Seawatt had barely enough time to set his glass down before he and Evbo were on the dance floor.
Evbo let go and placed his hands on his hips. “There we go! That’s much better.”
“I actually hate you.”
“You keep telling yourself that.” Evbo took Seawatt’s hands in his, swinging his arms back and forth to the beat.
Seawatt looked down at their connected arms, making absolutely no effort to move with Evbo. “What is this?”
“This is you failing to dance with me.” Evbo started skipping around in a circle, though it mostly amounted to yanking Seawatt around after him.
Seawatt dug his heels into the ground. “No, this is you failing to dance, period. Your feet aren’t even on the lights.”
Seawatt chose that moment to let go of Evbo’s hands. Unprepared, Evbo overbalanced, stumbling backwards into the person behind him.
Evbo spun around, ready to apologize (or blame Seawatt), only to be greeted with a familiar face. “Oh my gosh, is that my old neighbor?”
His neighbor from back on the Pro level had barely changed in the months since they’d last spoken. He’d cut his hair shorter, and he wasn’t wearing his usual suit jacket, but he was otherwise the same guy Evbo had met all that time ago.
“Wait, Evbo?” His neighbor said, looking as startled as Evbo was. “It’s been ages! And how many times do I have to tell you to call me Caleb?”
“You’ll always be my old neighbor in my heart,” Evbo said. “Sorry for bumping into you—Seawatt is refusing to dance with me.”
“I am not!” Seawatt shouted from near the tables, where he was picking up his wine. “I’m refusing to make myself look stupid frolicking about with you.”
Evbo’s old neighbor laughed. “Glad to see you’re having a good time, then.” He took a sip of his drink, wrinkling his nose at it. “God, this stuff is strong.”
“Oo, what is it? Can I try some?” Evbo asked.
His old neighbor snorted, handing him the glass. “You can have the whole thing if you want. It’s just beer, but I’m used to the really weak stuff.”
That made sense. From his short time on the Pro layer, Evbo had seen some people drinking, but they had nowhere near the variety or quality of what they made on the Master layer back then.
Preparing to hate this, Evbo took a swig of the beer. It tasted… disgusting, actually, but he didn’t mind.
“It’s Caleb, right?” Seawatt said as he came up from behind Evbo. Evbo’s old neighbor nodded. “Caleb, please tell me you know how to dance.”
Evbo’s old neighbor chuckled and shrugged. “Uh, I guess I can? I wouldn’t say I look good doing it, you know, but I can mostly land on the lamps.”
Seawatt sighed, his shoulders sagging in relief. “Thank god. It’s bad enough that this idiot can’t dance. I don’t think I could handle it if everyone else was prancing about like him.”
“What’s so wrong with my dancing?” Evbo snapped. “I’m on the beat! I’m enthusiastic! That’s more than you’re doing.”
“But you’re totally ignoring the rules.”
“Rules?” Evbo turned to his old neighbor. “He’s not making this up, is he?”
“No?” His old neighbor said, raising an eyebrow. “You can only land on lit redstone lamps and you cannot have both feet on the ground are the two main ones.”
Evbo stared out across the dance floor, and sure enough, though people weaved in and out of each other, nobody ever landed on an unlit lamp. The lamps would flicker for a second before turning on, giving people just enough time to register where to jump next before the lamps underneath them turned off. With one foot always off the ground, the dancers leaped from block to block, like they were each on their own unique parkour courses.
Wait.
“Dancing - it’s like parkour?” Evbo said. “You should have said so sooner!”
Seawatt rolled his eyes, though there was a hint of a smile on his face. “Of course you would get freakishly excited about that.”
“Shush. You two are teaching me how to do this right now.”
Once he knew it was supposed to be parkour, dancing was a lot more approachable. Seawatt and Evbo’s old neighbor demonstrated a couple of simple moves, which Evbo then attempted to copy. His reflexes weren’t as good as they usually were, and he ended up stepping on Seawatt’s toes a couple of times, but Seawatt’s angry outbursts were so funny he didn’t even mind.
Once Evbo was deemed to be not a total embarrassment, they joined the main crowd of dancers in the center. Everything moved so much faster in the crowd, and there were so many more arms and feet to dodge around, but it only made the jumps more exhilarating.
At times, he and Seawatt would drift apart, but never so far that Evbo couldn’t see the other man. His dark blue cape flapped behind him as he danced, making the simplest movement look elegant.
As they neared the end of a song, Evbo found himself face to face with Seawatt again. Up close, there was a thin sheen of sweat on his face, and a few stray strands of hair were peeking out below his crown.
Seawatt caught Evbo’s eye, his expression unguarded. For his final jump, he did a one-block 360, barely managing to land on the edge of a lamp. He didn’t smile, but his eyes twinkled with mirth in the low light.
As the crowd cheered, Evbo slung an arm around Seawatt’s shoulders. “Now that’s what I’m talking about! A 360 for the ages!”
“You didn’t see anything,” Seawatt hissed, though his shoulders shook with laughter.
They wandered off towards the edge of the dance floor, where the bartenders had now moved their equipment. Evbo let go of Seawatt to go grab two beers, thrusting one of them into Seawatt’s hands.
“Drink up,” Evbo said, knocking back his own glass. The taste of the beer barely even registered at this point, only the cool liquid flowing down his throat and the heat spreading throughout his body.
“This is a horrible idea,” Seawatt muttered as he took a small sip of his beer. “You should have some water after this, okay? You’ve been drinking a lot.”
Evbo playfully shoved Seawatt away. “I’m the Parkour God! I’m totally fine. Barely even tipsy right now.”
After he finished gulping down his beer, Evbo slammed his glass down on the table closest to him and ran back to join the dance floor.
And so the cycle began.
He’d dance until he was out of breath, then grab another drink and dive back in. The world around him seemed to blur together like he was underwater, and his head felt full of cotton balls.
That didn’t stop him from tearing it up on the dance floor. He kept missing his jumps, but the ones he landed were sick, he was pretty sure. Definitely. After all, he was a prodigy at parkour; that must mean he was a prodigy at dancing, too.
This logic was absolutely flawless.
A little while later, he found Seawatt seated at the edge of the dance floor again.
“Seawatt!” Evbo shouted, throwing himself into the chair next to him.
Seawatt coughed on… whatever he was drinking. “Where did you come from?” he sputtered.
“There,” Evbo said, gesturing vaguely at the throng of dancers. “Whatcha drinking? I wanna try it.”
Seawatt grinned. “It’s a real special brew. I bet you’ll like it.” He handed the glass to Evbo, who promptly chugged half of it.
“Bleh, what is that?” Evbo groaned, shoving the glass back into Seawatt’s hands. “There’s no kick to it.”
“That’s because it’s water, which you should be drinking.”
Evbo pouted, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “I keep telling you, ’m fine. Haven’t even had that much to drink.”
Seawatt stared at him a moment before he burst out laughing.
God, he was so rude. Evbo would have punched him if he wasn’t being so smiley. It was hard to stay mad at Seawatt when he smiled.
One of the bartenders caught Evbo’s eye over Seawatt’s back, and he waved at her. Seawatt yanked his arms down, pinning them to the table. “Alright, you’ve had enough for the night,” he said, stifling his laughter.
“No, Seawatt!” Evbo kicked at Seawatt’s legs, attempting to wriggle free. “I’m literally so not drunk. I can prove it.”
Seawatt didn’t relax his grip, though he twisted his legs out of Evbo’s reach. “Let me guess, you’ll prove it to me with–”
“With parkour!”
“Show me what you’ve got, then,” Seawatt huffed. He released Evbo’s arms, and the two of them slipped between a gap in the tables. Seawatt led Evbo to a now empty quadrant of the square.
The tables here had been left untouched, so they shoved them out of the way, creating an open area in the center. Seawatt sat down on one of the tables to watch.
Evbo reached into his inventory. Without his netherite boots, he couldn’t summon blocks from thin air, but he still had a few stacks of wood planks on him. He placed the planks down three blocks away from each other.
He climbed up on the first block, his back to the second, and pointed his finger at Seawatt. “I’m so gonna land this, okay?”
“If you say so,” Seawatt said.
Without checking where the block was behind him, Evbo leaped backwards…
…And caught his foot on the second block, sending him tumbling head over heels.
All Evbo could see was the empty night sky above him, but he heard Seawatt’s cackling loud and clear. Without knowing why, Evbo found himself laughing along.
Seawatt wandered into his view and knelt down beside him. “You okay down there?”
Seizing his chance, Evbo reached out and smacked him on the arm. “Tag! Your turn,” Evbo shouted, using the planks to pull himself to standing. He stumbled, but managed to get his feet under himself.
Seawatt broke one of the blocks Evbo had set down and replaced it with an ice block. He clambered onto the ice, his arms wheeling as he struggled to find his balance.
“Guess I’ll have to show you how it’s done,” Seawatt taunted, before shifting his weight forward and immediately slipping off the block.
It was now Evbo’s turn to fall over himself laughing. Seawatt shook his head and stood up. “Hey, I’d like to see you do better than that,” he said, though he was smiling from ear to ear.
Evbo managed to safely make it off the ice block, but his aim was all wrong. He shot off to the side, missing the ice completely and rolling to a stop at Seawatt’s feet.
Seawatt prodded him with his boot, causing Evbo to giggle. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”
“Maybe.” Evbo reached up and grabbed Seawatt’s hand, which was dangling right over his head. He pulled on it hard, sending Seawatt crashing down on top of him.
Seawatt just laughed, which only caused Evbo to laugh harder. With Seawatt lying across his chest, the vibrations felt so weird, and his breath was coming in gasps between fits of laughter.
That was until EMF appeared.
“Evbo? Seawatt? What are you doing over here?”
Seawatt rolled off of Evbo and sat up. He wiped tears away from the corners of his eyes, smudging his kohl in the process. “Hm?”
“Evbo!” EMF shouted, rushing to Evbo’s side. “What happened? Are you hurt?”
EMF hoisted him up until he was propped up with his back against the planks. Evbo squinted until EMF’s features came into focus, white eyes wide with concern.
He leaned his head back against the block, chuckling to himself. “You’re so serious.”
EMF took Evbo’s head into his hands, staring straight into Evbo’s eyes. Then, he started poking and prodding at Evbo’s hand. It kept making him twitch, but Evbo still leaned into the contact. He didn’t know what was going on, but the being held part was nice.
When EMF was done, he turned to Seawatt, who was lounging beside them. “Something’s wrong with him. His reaction time is way too slow.”
Seawatt snorted. “With how much he’s been drinking? I’ll bet it’s slow.”
“I’m not drunk,” Evbo whined, though nobody was really listening to him.
“He’s drunk? How much did you let him have?” EMF said, taking one of his hands off Evbo’s face to slam it against the ground.
“I didn’t let him have anything. I lost sight of him for a second and he started downing beers like there’s no tomorrow.” Seawatt crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Hardly see how that’s my fault.”
“Then it’s your fault for letting him slip away from you.”
“For God’s sake, I’m not his babysitter.”
“Don’t you bring God into this conversation, Seawatt. I swear, if you–”
Evbo flopped forward, wrapping his arms around EMF and burying his head in EMF’s shoulder. EMF’s voice cut off mid-sentence, and Seawatt said nothing. Good.
EMF’s arms hovered awkwardly around Evbo before settling on his back. Evbo felt the tension ease out of his body, a contented sigh escaping his lips.
He burrowed his head further into the loose fabric of EMF’s tunic. “Don’t fight. I was havin’ such a good night.”
EMF hummed, the sound reverberating throughout Evbo’s body. “You were?”
“Yuh-huh.” Evbo nodded his head. “Seawatt taught me about drinks and potions and how to dance and stuff. And I was just showin’ him my parkour.”
“He was trying to prove he wasn’t drunk,” Seawatt added from somewhere to Evbo’s right.
Evbo lifted his head out of EMF’s shirt to glare at Seawatt. “‘M not drunk”
“Yes, you are,” Seawatt and EMF chorused.
Evbo giggled. “I like it when you guys agree.”
EMF sighed, pushing Evbo off him so they could speak face-to-face. “Evbo, do you think you could put on your netherite boots for me?”
“My boots?” Evbo looked down at his own feet, his gold boots catching the firelight around them. “Why?”
“They’ll make you feel better.”
“But I already feel good,” Evbo said, grinning.
“If you want to try sobering him up, good luck.” Seawatt leaned closer to Evbo, a few strands of hair falling in his eyes. “The idiot was too stubborn to drink any water.”
“I’m not surprised,” EMF said. “In that case, can you take him back to your house? I doubt he can make it back to the roof of the temple.”
Seawatt smiled at that. “Yeah. He was tripping over himself trying to do a three-block ice jump just now.”
“I almost had it,” Evbo mumbled. EMF patted his arm reassuringly.
With their combined strength, EMF and Seawatt managed to pull Evbo to his feet. The world was a lot more spinny than he remembered it being, and the ground seemed to be trying to slip out from under him. Evbo teetered to the side before an arm wrapped around his waist, steadying him.
Seawatt took Evbo’s arm and draped it over his neck, letting Evbo lean fully on him. “Alright, Mr. Parkour God. Time to get going.”
“You’ll be fine making the jumps back?” EMF asked, voice less accusatory than concerned.
“Unlike some people, I know my limits,” Seawatt huffed. “Now come on, Evbo.”
Seawatt started walking them forwards, back towards the houses on the Master layer. Evbo twisted around, waving to EMF as they walked away. “Bye, my friend! I love you!”
EMF’s body, usually pure black, lit up with thousands of tiny stars. “B-bye, Evbo,” he called, his voice cracking.
Seawatt snickered, half-carrying Evbo out of the square.
Their shadows stretched out in front of them as they hobbled down one of the parkour highways, sticking to the one-block jumps made for Noobs. Away from the central square, the night was quiet. All that could be heard was their boots hitting the quartz of the highway as they zig-zagged a path across the city.
Evbo shivered against the night air, pulling himself closer to Seawatt until their knees were knocking against each other. Seawatt said nothing, but tightened his grip on Evbo’s waist in turn.
At last, they came to Seawatt’s house near the edge of the city. It looked the same as all the other houses on the Master level, save for a ring of chiseled sandstone around the first floor. In the dim moonlight, the carvings seemed to pop out of the darkness.
There was a three-block jump to get to the front door. Seawatt glanced to his left, then his right, before digging a few blocks out of his belt and placing them down in the gap, forming a bridge.
“Hurry, before someone sees us,” he whispered, his breath sending goosebumps down Evbo’s neck.
Evbo stumbled across the bridge with Seawatt. Once they reached the door, Seawatt unhooked his arms from Evbo and set him down on the ground. He turned around and swiftly broke the blocks, snatching them before they could fall down to the levels below.
Seawatt opened the door to his house, looking down at Evbo. “Can you walk inside by yourself, or do I need to carry you?”
“I’m fine,” Evbo muttered. He pushed himself to his knees, at which point the ground shifted underneath him and he went sprawling back onto the floor. “Hold on, I can do this.”
“Carry you it is, then,” Seawatt crouched down, sliding one arm underneath Evbo’s knees and the other around his back. “Wrap your arms around my neck so I don’t drop you.”
“You’re so bossy, Seawatt,” Evbo said, wrapping his arms around Seawatt’s neck as he was told. “Bossy, bossy, bo– woah!”
Seawatt lifted Evbo up into the air, staggering backwards slightly under his weight. “Dude, when did you get this heavy? You used to be way easier to pick up.”
Evbo giggled, clinging closer to Seawatt’s neck as he readjusted his grip. Seawatt carried him sideways through the doorway, closing the door behind them with his foot.
The first floor of Seawatt’s house was very familiar to Evbo - after all, he had helped design it. On the right side was a chest, furnace, and brewing stand for cooking. To the left was the staircase to the second floor, and across the room was a couch and table. All of these areas were separated by a smattering of jumps.
Seawatt bumped his shoulder against a lever, turning on a redstone lamp in the ceiling. Evbo groaned and squinted his eyes shut against the light. Seawatt’s chest rose and fell beneath him as he took a deep breath, then pushed off of the block.
Evbo let out a shriek of terror and delight. Nobody had ever carried him like this before while parkouring, and he found his fingers clutching at the fabric of Seawatt’s robes automatically. He was being jostled up and down with every jump, fully at the whims of gravity, with nothing he could do but pray that Seawatt didn’t drop him.
As Seawatt landed on another block, his grip on Evbo loosened. The only warning Evbo got was a hissed curse before he was being unceremoniously dumped onto Seawatt’s couch.
His head smacked against the armrest, sending a spark of pain through his body. His heart raced in his chest, but he made no effort to move, lying sprawled out on the couch as he had fallen.
Arms pulled at him, propping him up against the back of the couch, and Evbo groaned. He blinked against the light, watching Seawatt’s face gradually come into focus. His eyebrows were furrowed, concern etched into every line of his face.
“You there, Evbo?” Seawatt whispered. “Please don’t tell me I managed to give you more brain damage than you already had.”
Evbo’s tongue felt like molasses in his mouth, and in the aftermath of the shock, it took a few times before he remembered how to move it to make words. “My brain’s not damaged.”
“Oh, thank God,” Seawatt said, collapsing next to Evbo on the couch. ”If you’d actually gotten messed up, your little Champion was so going to kill me.”
Evbo snorted, leaning over to rest his head on the bare skin of Seawatt’s shoulder. It felt warm against his cheek.
Seawatt stayed perfectly still beneath him. “Evbo, seriously though. Are you hurt?”
“Don’t think so. Just scared me is all,” Evbo mumbled, smiling. “Being carried was kinda fun. You should let me do it to you sometime.”
“Like you’d be able to pick me up,” Seawatt laughed. “Here, drink this. You’ll thank me for it in the morning.”
Seawatt pushed Evbo off his shoulder and popped open a potion bottle filled with a fizzy pink liquid. He held the bottle up to Evbo’s lips, and Evbo grabbed it weakly with one hand, tilting it back and downing the drink in one go.
After Evbo was done, Seawatt set the bottle down on the table in front of them, and Evbo flopped against his shoulder again. This time, Seawatt slipped his arm around Evbo, his hand grazing Evbo’s fingertips.
“Hey, Seawatt?” Evbo said. “I really like you. Like, really really like you. Like, a lot.”
“You do?” Seawatt asked, voice barely audible.
“Mm-hm. You’re mean, but you care.”
Seawatt stiffened under him and scoffed. “You don’t mean that. You’re just drunk.”
“‘M not drunk,” Evbo muttered. “And we’re friends. Friends like each other, right?”
“You and me, friends.” Seawatt turned his head to watch Evbo. “You sure about that?”
“Totally sure. I’m the Parkour God, so you gotta believe me.”
Seawatt chuckled. “Well, who am I to go against God?”
“Exactly.” Evbo hummed in contentment, snaking his hands around Seawatt’s waist. They sat there for a while, Evbo cloaked in the warmth of the alcohol and skin against skin.
It was just as he was beginning to nod off that Seawatt sighed and pulled Evbo’s arms off him.
“Where are you going?” Evbo asked, blinking sleepily up at Seawatt.
Seawatt lifted Evbo’s head off his shoulder and set it down on the couch. “I’m turning off the light and going up to bed. You can sleep down here for tonight.”
He moved to stand up, and Evbo scrambled to hold him back, grabbing fistfuls of his cape and robe. “You’re leaving me?”
Seawatt cocked an eyebrow. “Yes? What, did you expect me to sleep on the couch with you?”
“Maybe. You can’t leave.”
“Or what?”
“I’ll be lonely.”
Seawatt stared at him for a long while, his expression hard to read from the odd angle Evbo was lying at. Eventually, he brushed Evbo’s hands off him and turned away.
“You’re really annoying, you know that?” Seawatt said. He dashed across the room to the light switch, flicked it off, and then parkoured back to Evbo. “Move. You’re taking up the whole couch.”
Evbo grinned and scooted over as far as he could. Seawatt sat down on the side of the couch and kicked his boots off.
He glanced at Evbo’s feet, hanging off one of the armrests, and pointed a finger at them. “You too. Boots off, now.”
The battle with his boots that followed proved to be a tricky one, but with the power of brute force and Seawatt’s higher dexterity, they too were removed and soon rested on the floor next to Seawatt’s.
When Seawatt lay down, Evbo immediately threw his arms around his friend and pulled him closer. It was a tight fit on the couch as it was, their legs tangling together and chests mere fractions of a block apart, but he craved the sense of security that came from knowing Seawatt couldn’t go anywhere.
As drowsiness settled deeper and deeper in Evbo’s bones, he shifted his head and felt something sharp dig into his cheek.
“Ow,” he said, pulling back to check what had stabbed him. In the darkness, he caught the flash of gold and gems. “Seawatt, your crown hurts.”
“That’s what happens when you lie on top of my head,” Seawatt grumbled, not even bothering to open his eyes.
Evbo reached up and removed the offending crown. Propping himself up on one arm, he then leaned over Seawatt and dropped it on the floor next to the couch.
Seawatt coughed and sputtered under him, and Evbo fell back against the couch.
Wiping his mouth on his arm, Seawatt glared at Evbo. “Bleh. The ends of your dirty headband got in my mouth.”
Evbo just snorted, wrapping his arms back around Seawatt as his eyes drifted shut. He felt Seawatt shift next to him, but paid the movement no mind.
Until he felt fingers combing through his hair, gently untying his headband.
His full body shuddered and he sucked in a breath. Seawatt’s laugh rumbled beneath him as the hands left his hair, taking the headband with them. “What, you like having your hair played with?”
“Don’t stop,” Evbo whined, tucking his head further into the crook of Seawatt’s neck. “Feels nice.”
The fingers returned to his head, this time carding through his hair more purposefully. Evbo sighed contentedly. His limbs felt like dead weight, his awareness dissolving into a cloud of security and pleasure.
“Good night, Seawatt,” Evbo whispered. “I love you.”
“Yeah, yeah, good night,” Seawatt replied, fingers still running through Evbo’s hair.
When Evbo woke up the next morning, he would swear he had dreamt it. He was drunk and teetering on the edges of unconsciousness, the outside world slowly falling away from him. It was probably a dream or a hallucination created by his addled brain.
It had to be a dream. After all, it was Seawatt, and Seawatt wouldn’t do this. Simple as that.
But despite what Evbo told himself, that didn’t change the facts.
As Evbo’s breathing slowed to the steady rate of sleep, Seawatt had whispered back, “I love you too.”