Chapter Text
He let her go...
That day knowing what would happen. Haku allowed Chihiro to leave, he let her cross the tunnel, he let her mind no longer remember anything from that world, nothing of him.
She had to go with her parents.
"Would you stay?" "With me?" "Here?"
Those questions were never uttered. He cannot be selfish, he cannot.
(Will we meet again?) Chihiro's eyes shine with hope.
Haku would like that. He yearned for it. If she couldn't stay, he could go to where she was.
(Promise) The boy says.
He makes her a promise even if it is unlikely to be fulfilled. However, he would give everything to make it come true.
(Now go) He asks.
More time with her, made it harder for him to say goodbye.
(And don't look back) He couldn't bear for her to turn around, see her face one more time and not hold her back.
She sets out, her ponytail dancing in the breeze, crosses, disappears through the dark tunnel.
—Chihiro!
Then Haku shouts, when he knows she won't hear him. The wind takes his name, but it doesn't reach her ears.
She had gone without being able to remember that she had once been there... with him.
...
Much time had passed. Lots of time searching for a solution to be with her. With...
His brow furrowed, for a split second the name escapes his head. Haku twists uncomfortably lying down. He can't sleep, not anymore.
—Chihiro... Chihiro... Chihiro.
He repeats the name in the darkness. He was forgetting her.
The girl's face becomes blurred and only her voice travels through his ears.
(Haku!) She screams (Haku!) She calls out.
And he wants to see her more than anything.
...
Haku missed her and would do anything to see her again.
Time passed differently for him than for Chihiro. When he reaches her, where will she be? What will she be doing?
Her life was normal. Surely without a single longing drop (You can't miss what you don't remember) of suffering (It can't hurt you)
He missed her and wondered, if he looked for her, would he be able to find her?
And with faith he answered himself that yes, he would do it. He could recognize her.
...
His mind no longer remembers her. No, as he used to.
His lips taste her name every day, every free moment he has in his thoughts.
Chihiro... Chihiro... Chihiro...
He couldn't forget it either.
He couldn't and then he's afraid. A feeling that consumes his soul, takes over his heart: To forget.
Not to remember.
Like Chihiro. Because she forgot him, He was forgotten by someone he could never forget.
She wasn't waiting for him. She didn't know who he was. She doesn't know what he did for her and can't imagine what he would do for her.
...
He can't breathe, he can't, not with the idea, with the fear that...
He fears forgetting her... her... the promise.
That's why he repeats her name, over and over again. Because if he forgets her, everything will end.
He lives remembering her. He lives to be able to see her again.
He can't forget his purpose.
He fears forgetting the little that remains of her in his mind.
Her name. Her voice.
Because her face and her scent were lost in his head. Sometimes the hesitation dominates him and he no longer believes it necessary to look for her.
He fears not finding her and what he fears most, is finding her and only being able to look at her from afar.
(Promise) He remembers.
It's a promise and he would do anything to keep it. Even if he finds her and...
"It doesn't matter" Haku blurts out.
Even if he receives a look as if he were a stranger...
"I promised we would meet again..." Haku says. "Chihiro" he whispers. "I'm coming for you..."