Work Text:
SLAM!
"Dagnabbit, fixed it too well."
Tobias stood straight back after the two tried to throw him out. The whole day spent at and after school he was just getting on Gumball's nerves acting like he was a better friend than he was. Yeah sure they have had adventures together but he was usually against Tobias and also the fact that he had adventures with most people in Elmore. Getting needlessly attached is kinda a loser thing and if anyone knew what a loser thing was, it was Gumball.
Tobias stood up after a moment still being ignorant. "That's okay. That's what best friends do, am I right?"
Gumball really didn't want to spell it out to him which is why he was relieved when Darwin walked up to him to seemingly settle it. "Okay, Tobias. I didn't want to have to say this, so Gumball will." He proceeded to hide behind Gumball and made him bite the bullet anyway.
Gumball sighed trying to word it as best as he could. "Isn't it obvious? I mean, read between the lines." Tobias looked shocked like none of this was obvious as he gasped. "What do you mean there are unspoken differences between types of friends and the "we're kind of okay" friends but not best friends?"
The two brothers felt uncomfortable that they should've seen this coming given that time they apologized to him and he went off on not being as important as he thought. Is his whole deal struggling with a multifaceted identity crisis? Gumball tried to help before being cut off again by Tobias.
"What do you mean this all stemmed from a narcissistic delusion brought on by my inner fear about facing my true place in the universe?"
Was he venting again? Both felt pretty bad but also weirded out as he cut them off again to say (or sing???) his final piece.
"What do you mean?! You don't wanna beee moooreee than just regular frienndsss~ Ah."
...
"Really?" Darwin spoke with Gumball agreeing. "Yeah I was thinking that." He decided to confront the issue much to Tobias's dismay. "Look, you're- you're just not the kind of friend that we'd call for really important stuff. Like, moving a couch. Or even chasing you all around Elmore to fix a personal issue."
Tobias looked rejected but seemingly understood. "Nah, I get it. I can't be your best friend, Gumball. Because there can be only one." Darwin seemed happy and let him down gently. "Yeah but you're definitely fifth"- Gumball quickly whispered to him. "sixth in line."
Tobias thought about this before suggesting something seemingly innocuous as an example. "So, if all of those other friends were gone, would we be best friends?"
Gumball thought about it for a moment before responding. "Technically, yeah. I guess I'd just have to make do with you." Tobias nodded, looking pleased before asking one more simple question. "And hypothetically, if you had a list in descending order of your friends, who would be in what order?"
Gumball thought about it, he did have his friends which he had a pretty clear order recently but if were to count Darwin, shouldn't he count Anais or even Penny? Although thinking about where they would go exactly would be too difficult so he made it simple for Tobias to understand.
"Well Darwin, Anais and Penny would probably be tied for number one." Darwin squinted at him as Gumball gestured that it didn't really matter which Darwin shrugged off with a light smile. Thankfully he was no longer jealous of his relationship with Penny."
Then in descending order it's probably Carrie, Sarah, Banana Joe, Bobert, Leslie and you. Maybe after you would be Mo-"
Tobias reached out and shook Gumball's and Darwin's hand sincerely thanking the both of them and suddenly left looking satisfied at Gumball’s incomplete response.
Gumball sighed in relief at avoiding another adventure he unintentionally created for himself. "There, all's well that ends well."
"Do you ever get that tingly feeling in your stomach when someone tragically misinterprets something you said, in a dangerously, fundamental way?" Darwin looked with concern at Gumball who felt his stomach but found nothing. "Nope. Even if he doesn't understand, what could he do in one day?"
Tobias walked with purpose in his coat and shades to the mall. If he was sixth in line he would just have to eliminate everyone and he would know where all of his friends would be. They were predictable and had predictable weaknesses. He smirked to himself as he had a hit list of names and the procedures. He got everything from Gumball he wanted and didn't care who was below. He probably didn't know who Gumball's 8th friend was because it was irrelevant. He just needed to do it all in a timely way. He glanced at his expensive watch tucked cleverly under his sports bands to read at 4:00 PM. He had to deal with Leslie then make it back to the school before 5 and take care of most of Gumball's friends there. He made it to Dinner and patiently waited for his first target.
After he took care of Leslie he quickly walked back to school. Every friend he beat he absorbed their friendship power. Even now, he could feel the power flow through him as he continued on his trek to school. He needed some good music for this mission so after a look through of songs he picked one that was about being number one. He picked and sang along to it as he planned out his route. First to get Bobert when he's walking to his extra credit course, then Banana Joe after his band practice and finally to deal with Penny.
He took care of Bobert and Banana Joe with his incredible stealth which led him to Penny. Admittedly he was going to originally leave her alone but he knew that if anyone saps his attention more, it would be her. He just needed to create a distraction for her. He had snuck straight past security and hooked up the song to the speakers as the distraction. Now it was time for the final step as he raced down the halls towards his next target.
Penny was finishing up her practice in the gymnasium when it started to blare with a weird rock song. She couldn't even hear the lyrics but she covered her ears instinctively. Then right afterwards, the sprinklers and fire alarms went off spiraling her focus further. Why was this happening?! In her complete disorientation, she shape-shifted into something that represented her wanting to leave. She fell right into his trap and…
SMACK!
She meteored straight to the ground and reverted back on the floor completely unconscious. In her panic turned into a fly and Tobias stood over her triumphantly with a flyswatter.
“Sorry lady Penny, but there can only be one who hangs out with Gumball.”
He cackled as she felt even more power than the other friends he defeated. Instead of the normal blue lightning, it was a frenzied yellow lightning as it shocked the whole gym as the speakers blared about there can only be one and then also breaking due to the sheer power.
Gumball, Darwin and Anais were at home in the evening at the table together playing one of those word creating games with the tiles as they waited for their parents to come back with dinner. “Hey, is imaginate a word?” Darwin asked with Anais sighing. “I thought we've been over this…” She said with Gumball objecting.
“Of course it is. You just have to be think-braining to understand.”
“Seriously, use think-braining in an actual sentence.” Anais said, crossing her arms. Gumball leaned on his arm challenging her claim. “You can't use that logic to decide what's a word. When do you ever use antidisestablishmentarianism in a sentence?”
“Most people would be for antidisestablishmentarianism because we don't live in the sixteenth century.” She said a little annoyed. Gumball brushed her aside as Anais spoke again.
“When you told me about Tobias and you two dealt with him peacefully, are you sure he really let go like that so easily?”
Gumball thought about it for a moment before speaking. “Sure he did. He hasn't done anything yet and what could've done today?” Anais looked at him with doubt. “You say that but he'll probably do something idiotic and you'll have to deal with it.”
“Pff…like when?” Gumball asked rhetorically as the doorbell rang with both Gumball and Darwin looking at each other. Anais simply made a smug expression as the two boys both sighed. She opened her mouth but was covered by her brothers as they groaned in unison. “Yeah yeah, we know.” They got up and opened the door to see exactly who they didn't want to see.
“Gumball. I've defeated all your friends and obtained their power. Now all I need to take care of is the last two.” He held up his two fingers in a rock-and-roll pose before raising it up with lightning in the background.
YEAHHH!
YEA-
Gumball closed the door in annoyance and he and Darwin walked away. “Seems he got the wrong end of the stick.”
Suddenly the lights flickered and they gasped as heard an ominous 80’s rock song playing. In the confusion, Tobias phased through the door with the commotion making Anais join the boys as she yelled at the boys with slight panic and anger. “What insane plan have you two accidentally encouraged him to do?!”
Tobias hovered above them disregarding Anais. “Sorry but you and Darwin are the only things in my way of Gumball's friendship. I need to take care of you two.” Anais rolled her eyes and put her paws on her hips. “And how are you going to do that?”
“Like this.”
Tobias began to use laser eyes at Darwin which made him run away screaming as Anais tried to help. “Darwin!” She yelled in alarm as Tobias laughed as he chased Darwin around occasionally even going for shots on Anais. “Surrender to your doom!”
Gumball saw this and tried to help only for Tobias to turn around to get him out of it. “Out of my way Gumball, I'm only after your siblings!” With a flourish of his arm, it morphed into a dark red color and with a flick of his wrist he sent multiple snakes towards Gumball. He screamed as he was slowly backed into a corner having to watch his siblings be attacked.
Darwin reached the cabinet and began throwing books at Tobias that proceeded to effortlessly dodge with a graceful dance as he continued to advance towards him. Gumball noticed this and grimaced. “Dagnabbit, he must have got to Leslie. No one can touch him on the dance floor.”
Tobias then stood up menacingly pointed at him with spiraling eyes that didn't do anything. It allowed Anais to help Darwin up as the siblings looked at him confused. Anais, getting fed up finally spoke up. “What are you even doing?!”
Tobias just shrugged as he spoke. “I'm using Banana Joe's powers to irradiate you two.”
“That's going to take a billion years and you're acting like a lunatic. Do you really think that beating people up gives you their powers? What world do you live in?” Anais was furious at all of his made up rules. This caused Tobias to put a finger to her lips to quiet her and he spoke with confidence.
“Ah siblings… They never understand what we go through, right Gumball?” Gumball replied off screen faintly. “Yes they do.” That was followed by another screech by Gumball in fear of being attacked by snakes. Tobias brushed off his disagreement before moving on and continued to talk down to her.
“Tsk tsk tsk little Anais. This is an issue I’ve dealt with previously and it’s something that should be standard when me and Gumball hang out.”
“Oh? And what's that?” She asked.
“Sisters aren't a part of it!”
He morphed his other hand into an icy blue dragon head identical to Penny's and froze Anais into a block of ice to Darwin's shock as he looked over at her and yelled with genuine panic. “Anais?!”
Tobias simply smirked as he stepped close to Darwin. “While Sarah's power is useless, Carrie on the other hand…” He proceeded to telekinetically lift the couch before slamming it onto Darwin slowly suffocating him.
“Yes! I am number one!” He cheered with his body crackling in lightning before Gumball interrupted him with a mix of frustration as he tried to lift the chair off Darwin.
“No, you're not! That is not how friendship works. You do not get friend points by beating up everybody I know and care about! And you didn't get their magic powers by the way.”
In reality, Tobias was screaming while flailing a pool noodle at Leslie with him just shaking his head in disapproval.
In reality, Tobias was screaming at Bobert then had to scream in a whisper because Principal Brown told him to quiet down.
In reality, Tobias was just yelling at Banana Joe flailing his arms. After a moment of watching, Joe joined in, thinking it was a dance move.
In reality, Tobias was yelling at Sarah while flailing an unplugged hair dryer as she watched with confusion for a moment before responding.
“You uh…need an outlet?”
In reality, Tobias was being dragged away by Molly, Carmen and Teri while screaming and flailing a fly swatter at her with Penny looking both concerned and weirded out while muttering on how there can only be one.
In reality, Tobias was screaming at Carrie who looked at him disinterested, flipped her hair and went back to listening to her music this time louder.
And finally, when Tobias “froze” Anais he simply yelled freeze tag at her and touched her. She froze but leered at him the whole time.
Now back in current reality, Gumball touched Anais and unfroze her to join him to help lifting the couch and to look at him with disapproval at Tobias. He looked surprised that none of this was real even though Anais was going to say that until she was frozen.
“But how?! How did you know I was doing all of this?” Gumball sighed before pulling out his phone showing him parts of his text messages as they were cut off. “Because they all told me.”
Leslie (Flower Boy 💅): What's wrong with Tobias? Like genuinely he-
Bobert (Brobert 🤖): I inquire about Tobias's behavior on whether it was a trend or a disea-
Banana Joe (🍌): Yo. Tobias showed me a cool new dance move! You gotta se-
Sarah (Scoop Dogg 🫠): Did you dare Tobias to scream at me or do I have a secret admir-
Carrie (BFF☠️): Why did Tobias try and scare me? Is he trying to exocis-
Penny 💛💛💛: Be honest. Did what Tobias do today was influenced by you in any-
Gumball sighed and cleared things up and patted a dismayed Tobias. “Look, it doesn't really matter if we're best friends. Because you're a good friend, Tobias. And... good is good, right?”
Tobias looked down for a moment then looked up at him. “I know, I'm sorry. I just wanted more and I did get a bit…” He proceeded to make a goofy face which Gumball snickered at and agreed. “Yeah, it was pretty-” He responded back with a goofy face of his own before challenging each other for a bit, laughing in an apology and then making up with a hug.
Anais was surprised but had a small smile as they two parted and she leaned closer to Gumball with pride. “Wow. I…didn’t expect you two to resolve it in a mature way?” Gumball smirked back at her with a smug expression before asking Tobias. “Nah. We’re good. Come on then friend, give me a hand with this couch.”
Tobias started to walk away both out of embarrassment and to not trouble himself anymore than he has to. “Yeah, I'm a good friend, but not the kind of friend you call to move a couch.” He winks at Gumball with finger-guns then strutted away with exaggerated swagger and left with Gumball smiling.
“What the- What?! You just…?!” Anais with disbelief as he let him get away while pointing at the door then at the still struggling Darwin.
“Hmm. Fair enough.” He glanced back at his sister who had her jaw dropped at his stupidity and he continued to look onwards not helping. “I mean, it’s fair enough.”
…
Anais just sighed before slapping herself in the face.