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1.
Leehan is sitting neatly against the practice room wall when Jaehyun flops next to him, huffing out a dramatic sigh.
He takes the water bottle when Leehan holds it outstretched, taking a few healthy gulps before passing it back.
“You know,” Jaehyun’s voice is light and teasing even as he regains his breath. “Letting me drink from your water bottle is basically like we’re kissing.”
Leehan snorts and knocks their feet together. Jaehyun’s sneakers are black, Leehan’s are white. It’s a cute contrast. He hasn’t thought of a response before Jaehyun decides to speak again.
“How is it possible for you to look so pretty still after such a rigorous dance practice?” Jaehyun huffs, and Leehan finds that a bit ironic.
From where he’s sitting, Jaehyun looks handsome, barefaced, an oversized hoodie unzipped enough to hang off one shoulder. He’s wearing a tanktop under it, and the way that little sliver of shoulder peeking out between fabric makes Leehan’s heart jump is pathetic, really.
Leehan tears his eyes away, clearing his throat as he pretends to focus on cracking his knuckles. “It’s only that rigorous for you because you insist on staying late to run the dance longer.”
Jaehyun hums, scooting closer, flopping on his side so his head is resting in Leehan’s lap. When he moves his hands, Jaehyun’s smiling face is looking up at him.
“And you chose to stay back with me today,” He sing-songs. His grin is so wide that Leehan can see most of his teeth.
Of course he did, Leehan thinks. Jaehyun’s been restless this week, pushing himself a little too far, focusing on his own well being even less than usual. He’s a fantastic leader, the best they could ask for, Leehan just wishes he’d give himself the same care he gives to his members.
“Someone has to keep you from overworking yourself,” Leehan mutters, unable to stop the way his own lips start curling upwards.
Jaehyun sighs softly, clicking his tongue. “So sweet of you. Now just let me lay here for a bit, okay? I’m recharging.”
Leehan laughs, and he lets him stay; he might as well, Jaehyun’s already closed his eyes and started softly humming under his breath.
And if Leehan starts to gently comb his fingers through Jaehyun’s hair, well — that’s between them and them alone.
2.
Jaehyun sits next to Leehan in the company van and immediately laces their fingers together.
“You okay?” Leehan whispers to him, and Jaehyun’s other hand closes around their intertwined ones, fingers tracing lightly across his knuckles.
He nods, fluffy brown hair falling in his eyes. He’s obviously not okay, not entirely, but Leehan senses he doesn’t wanna talk about it right now. He looks exhausted, and Leehan really can’t blame him — they had two separate schedules today and then one of their managers had chewed them out for something that wasn’t really their fault. It’s been kinda a shitty day, all in all.
Leehan forgets sometimes just how much weight Jaehyun carries as their leader, purely because he’s so good at making it look easy. Right now though, with his unfocused eyes and trembling fingers, Leehan’s heart feels heavy in his chest.
He squeezes his hand and brings his other to rest on Jaehyun’s forearm, thumb rubbing softly against his skin.
The rest of the ride back to the dorms is spent just like that. Eventually Jaehyun’s head finds his shoulder, and after a bit, he’s not shaking anymore. It’s like Leehan can physically feel him relax, can sense his energy shifting back into his usual demeanor, and it’s a relief.
When they’re finally pulling up to their dorm, Jaehyun lets his hand go, but it’s not before squeezing his hand. They’re in the back of the van, so they’re the last ones to crawl out, and right beforehand, Jaehyun stops him.
“Thank you, Leehannie,” He says quietly, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to Leehan’s cheek.
It’s a simple action, and yet it’s one that has his pulse starting to rush and his blood running hot. He can still feel where Jaehyun kissed him, even hours later, his fingertips tracing over the spot like his lips had branded his cheek.
It’s close enough to what Jaehyun’s done to his heart, anyway. Leehan doubts the impression will fade anytime soon.
3.
It’s exceptionally easy to get overwhelmed with idol life. Sometimes when they get back to the dorms, all Leehan wants to do is fall into bed and be silent for the next four hours.
Evidently, this is not always what’s good for him, sometimes leaving him feeling both emotionally drained and so, so lonely. Usually he’d go bother Riwoo, maybe they’d play some games or just lay there in silence, but today Riwoo is having dinner with Sungho.
So he finds himself with Jaehyun, planted under one blanket as they watch T.V — Leehan has no idea what this show is exactly, some sort of cooking program mixed with some questionable reality plot lines, but he’s only half following anyway.
About ten minutes prior, Jaehyun had leant his arm on the back of the couch, fingers settling right at the nape of Leehan’s neck. Since then, his thumb has been lightly brushing across the wispy hairs there, so casual, so gentle, as if the very action wasn’t scrambling up his insides.
Jaehyun’s a touchy person, very affectionate and loving with his groupmates, but this.. something about it makes Leehan’s heart hammer in his chest.
It’s impossible not to lean into it — Jaehyun’s hand is warm, his touch soft, fingers resting right at his pulse point. Leehan tries to sneak a look at him, but it must have been obvious, because Jaehyun meets his gaze immediately.
His eyes are hooded, a little sleepy, and his lips curl up into a lazy smile as Leehan looks at him. “You okay, Leehannie?”
“Mhm,” Leehan nods, and he wonders if the heat in his cheeks can be explained away by literally anything else but Jaehyun’s touch.
Jaehyun looks at him a moment longer, thumb still gently caressing at his skin, leaving fiery sparks in their wake.
Leehan’s chest swoops, a vaguely disorienting feeling, and he turns back to the television, trying to focus on his breathing to still his rabid heart.
Luckily for him, if Jaehyun notices his little crisis, he doesn’t say a word, and Leehan gets time to calm down.
That is, until Jaehyun’s toes are prodding under his calves. He can feel that they’re cold through Jaehyun’s socks, and Leehan half wonders how Jaehyun’s hands can be warm but his feet cold.
Jaehyun hums appreciatively and scoots a little closer. “I’m stealing your warmth, hope you don’t mind.”
Leehan huffs a little through his nose, but he makes no attempt to move away or put any distance between them. He doesn’t mind.
Why would he? This is normal.
Jaehyun is a touchy person. It doesn’t mean anything.
An hour later is when Sungho returns from his dinner with Riwoo, padding into the living room and smiling gently at the sight of the two of them.
“You two look cozy.”
Jaehyun’s fallen asleep predictably, his head lolling against the back of the couch, their legs tangled together under the blanket. His mouth is just barely parted, one hand still curled gently around the back of Leehan’s neck. Fondness wraps around his bones and makes a home there.
“He fell asleep,” Leehan says to Sungho, as if that’s some sort of explanation, and his hyung has the audacity to laugh at him. He walks right to his room without offering the younger another word.
Leehan doesn’t exactly enjoy the feeling that everyone else knows something he doesn’t.
+1
Leehan drags himself to the kitchen, blindly finding the light switch and wrenching his eyes shut as he flips it. Once he feels brave enough, he opens them to face the lights, squinting and opening the fridge.
He can’t sleep, simply put — he’s been scrolling on his phone on the lowest brightness for nearly two hours trying to make it happen, but no luck. When in doubt, kitchen.
He’s not sure what he’s looking for exactly, maybe a snack or a potion that will magically fix his problems. He’ll take either.
What he gets instead is a pajama-clad Myung Jaehyun trudging into his view. Leehan looks up and shuts the fridge, and that same fondness that refuses to leave him nearly smacks him in the face.
Jaehyun is covering his mouth as he yawns, his hair messy and sticking up in every direction. His pajama pants have little cartoon dogs on them and his T-shirt is so big it threatens to slip off his shoulder. There’s a heart shaped pimple patch on his forehead. Leehan just might die right here in their kitchen.
“Did I wake you?” Leehan asks, and Jaehyun doesn’t even dignify him with a response, he just steps closer, right into Leehan’s space.
His arms snake around Leehan’s waist, closing around his back, his sleep-warmed face nuzzling into his neck. He feels Jaehyun hum, nosing against him, lips just barely grazing his skin. Leehan shivers and he can feel Jaehyun smile.
Leehan’s hands settling somewhat awkwardly on Jaehyun’s back, as if he’s giving someone a rushed hug, palms against his shoulder blades.
Jaehyun pushes closer, their chests flush, and something electric crackles through Leehan’s veins when Jaehyun presses an actual kiss right where his jaw meets his neck.
Now that’s… decidedly less platonic than most other things he’s explained away in his head, and Leehan doesn’t exactly know what to do with that. Is Jaehyun oblivious to how this comes across? Or god forbid, is he toying with Leehan?
The rational part of him knows that’s not who Jaehyun is — that he’d never hold someone’s heart so carefully just to crush it between his hands. Still, the fear is persistent, and it has Leehan’s nerves in knots.
“Jaehyun-hyung?” Leehan mutters, and he finds himself melting into Jaehyun’s affection, putty beneath his lips, which just so happen to press another kiss to the column of his throat.
“Leehan-ah,” Jaehyun’s words tickle his neck, and there’s that confusing tone again — the one that sends him reeling, the one where it sounds like this whole thing could be just a joke to him.
Leehan slips his hands to Jaehyun’s shoulders, guiding him back just enough to see his face, rolling the fabric of his shirt between his fingers. “Why are you…”
He trails off, but Jaehyun gets the point. He smiles, eyes dropping to Leehan’s lips, and he shrugs. “I dunno, why do people usually kiss another persons neck like that?”
Okay, very not platonic, that much is clear now — what’s not clear, is why. Does Jaehyun have feelings for him? Does he too feel a warmth and fondness so severe it threatens to take him over? Or does he just want someone to kiss?
Jaehyun hands unclasp, one bracing on Leehan’s hip, the other curling around the nape of his neck. It reminds him instantly of the night on the couch, and his heart stirs, a whirlpool right in his chest.
Leehan’s face flushes and he looks away, head turned to examine the front of their fridge as if it’s the most interesting thing in the world. He hears Jaehyun click his tongue, hand slipping right from his nape to his jaw, guiding him back to meet his eyes.
“Are you an idiot, Kim Leehan?” He asks earnestly, thumbing lightly across the curve of Leehan’s chin, just barely brushing his bottom lip.
Jaehyun’s still looking him right in the eye, and the longer Leehan looks into them, the more he starts to feel like Jaehyun isn’t joking.
“I hope not,” Leehan answers, and he lets Jaehyun tug him closer, until their breaths mingle.
Jaehyun hesitates for a moment, and there’s this shift where he suddenly looks shy, pink flooding the apples of his cheeks as he looks into Leehan’s eyes. There’s something vulnerable in his irises, something so bare and honest hidden in the sea of brown and gold. The uncertainty drains from Leehan’s body, and with it comes relief.
Leehan gets it now. Finally.
Jaehyun’s not playing with him. He’s just a little more shy than he pretends.
Leehan closes the gap himself, one hand clenched in the fabric of Jaehyun’s shirt and the other slipping into his hair, their lips slotting together like the lasttwo pieces of a puzzle.
Jaehyun’s breath hitches but he’s quick to return the kiss, pressing himself even further into Leehan’s hold. He can feel Jaehyun stand on his toes a little, even though they’re almost the same height, and he smiles against his lips.
It doesn’t particularly feel like one of them is leading and the other following, but almost a frenzy of want and affection, like both of them are pouring their feelings into every moment.
Jaehyun pulls back after a minute, pupils wide and tongue swiping across his bottom lip- (Leehan follows the movement with his eyes and doesn’t even try to pretend like he doesn’t.)
“I like you,” Jaehyun brushes some of Leehan’s hair back as he speaks. He looks so pretty like this, bare faced and so close that Leehan could count his eyelashes. “If that wasn’t obvious.”
“It probably was,” Leehan smiles, leaning into Jaehyun’s touch. “I just took a little too long to notice, so.. I’m sorry..”
He catches Jaehyun’s lips in another kiss, quick and sweet. “And for the record, I like you too.”
Jaehyun positively beams at him, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet. He finds one of Leehan’s hands and laces their fingers together, another familiar thing that somehow manages to feel new and exciting.
“That’s a relief,” and then, after a dramatic sigh, Jaehyun squints at him. “So do you have more business to attend to in the kitchen, or..?”
Leehan blinks once, twice, before shaking his head. “Not really, no.”
“Wonderful,” Jaehyun tugs him towards the hallway, flipping off the light switch and bathing the dorm back in darkness. “You have room in your bed tonight?”
He does. For Jaehyun there’s always room, and Leehan’s relieved to finally have an answer for why that is now. Love. What a funny thing.
Leehan answers by crowding Jaehyun against the wall and kissing him breathless.