Work Text:
He should have sailed earlier. But when?
(They should have sailed immediately when given the chance, but. Nelyo’s face warped in terror, his voice shaking, “Who knows what the Valar will do if we act against them” — Nelyo had known for sure all the things they could do and many more.)
The sea roared. Was it anger or impatience?
The moon rose and the wind changed, bringing the smell of a distant storm.
So when?
After Nelyo was …gone, when so many were returning? Maglor couldn't face their eyes, the judgment, the pity. Anyway they wouldn't probably let him anywhere near the ships alive.
When Men left for their new home?
Elros had invited him to visit, to “help establish the kingdom” and the mix of hope, anger and determination in his eyes had been unbearable. Had he been hoping for Maglor to return home? Or to try and be slain for it?
It did not matter anymore, Elros had long been dead.
The boat jumped on the waves and the wind grew stronger. Maglor shivered, but was it the cold or everything else?
Should he have sailed after Elrond found him (Or: he found Elrond and his hidden home, somehow? He wasn't even sure which way it had been) and talked him out of despair and for a time it felt like home?
Should he have sailed when the world had changed and again many had been leaving, as if feeling the change and becoming afraid that soon they won't be able to? (Not Tyelpe. He had left the hard way, and Maglor hadn't even known back then that it was happening, but maybe it had been better this way.)
The stars disappeared behind heavy clouds and the western horizon blinked with lightnings. A drop fell on Maglor’s cheek, colder than a tear, and others followed it.
Should he have sailed with Elrond? Or at least meet him before he did? Maglor still couldn't decide what would be worse: if Elrond had asked him to go with him, or if he hadn't. As with all of his problems, he solved that one by avoiding it. And so Elrond had sailed without a farewell.
Not that Maglor deserved farewells from anyone. Neither Elrond, Tyelpe, Elros or Nelyo. Especially Nelyo.
The rain grew stronger and he turned the boat back east, blinking away the rain and tears. The storm was a clear sign. He was not welcome to even try. So he would not. He never liked arguing with others’ opinions, and arguing with Lord Ulmo could not work anyway.
The wind blew at his back, roaring with disappointment.