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“I don’t get it,” Harry says, into the mirror. He’s surrounded by pamphlets regarding career options and looks quite confused.
“What don’t you get?” Sirius questions, only vaguely paying attention as he plays exploding snap with Bill and Remus.
If he’s honest, he never exactly paid attention to picking a career since he knew the war was on the horizon and he never thought he’d have to work much. Blacks didn’t work – they played politics and if he didn’t stay a Black, James had already joked that he’d be a lovely trophy husband. Sirius can’t say he disagreed. In fact, he loved the idea of it when Lily expressed wanting her own career and kids, and Sirius offered to be the stay-at-home parent.
For Harry, he had a feeling that he wouldn’t exactly be able to take the traditional route with a job after school unless, of course, the war was over already, and he had a nasty suspicion that it wouldn’t be. So, he’s not sure that career advice is very needed at this point. Though, of course, he’d help Harry where necessary.
“Why wouldn’t we be told that the classes we decided on taking in second year would affect our job prospects?”
Sirius frowns. He hadn’t really considered the effects of their electives should be discussed before they take them. He supposes because most of the time second years are told and advised by their parents that no one really considers it.
“I – er – that’s a good question. To be honest, most students are directed by their parents, usually they know it’s coming up so…”
“What about muggleborns?”
He shares a glance with Remus and Bill. They both know this is probably another oversight in the system. “Well, I suppose that they sit down with their Head of House or someone that can guide them with regards to –”
“But they didn’t! At least not for me or Hermione or Dean.”
“Erm, well, I –” he looks to the others for help. None of them were muggleborn, and Sirius distinctly remembers Lily having meetings with McGonagall every year. “Doesn’t McGonagall still do the one on ones? She did them with Lily.”
Harry frowns. “Well, she doesn’t now. Is this just another part of the unfairness of being muggleborn? A result of the first war?”
If he’s honest, Sirius does think that the first war could be responsible. Things changed when purebloods started listening to rhetoric that allowed them to speak freely about their dislike of those with muggle parentage. It used to be a small percentage of wizards thought they were better usually old money, but Voldemort opened up a can of worms and now people are more willing to be against muggleborns, let their voices get louder. It’s possible that the board (filled with purebloods) had made it difficult to do anything for muggleborns like those meetings.
He could practically hear them why should the muggleborns get special meetings, can’t they figure it out alone? Ignoring that the purebloods get the opportunity to see their job prospects due to their parents that the muggleborns don’t.
“It’s possible, kid. Unfortunately, we don’t know, and we can’t change it now or for you, but we can talk you through options, at least.”
“I guess, to be honest, I don’t really have any ideas and I probably wouldn’t even with talks with McGonagall. For me, it’s hard to look to the future.”
Given the war, that makes sense. Sirius still hopes that he’ll be able to get Harry out of the country after O.W.L.s. So, he wants Harry to think of the future even if he’s not sure what options Harry has if the war’s still ongoing. Voldemort won’t rest even if Harry leaves.
“Don’t think about the war or Voldemort or anything else.” That’s my job, he thinks to himself. “Just think about what you want.”
“Well, given everything that I’ve been through – the hero as some people might say, maybe even with a saving people thing –”
“You don’t have a saving people thing, and you don’t have to be the hero –”
“That’s what people expect from me.”
“Yeah, well, you deserve to do something that makes you happy,” Sirius counters. He still hates anyone that put that thought of a ‘saving people thing’ in his head.
“I don’t know… Ron’s all excited about being an auror, particularly ever since fake-moody told us we’d be good at it, and it’s not like I really know any other options. I can’t exactly do professional quidditch with my lifetime ban.”
“I told you – Voldemort’s going to come out someday, everyone will know the truth and she can’t actually stop you from playing outside of Hogwarts.”
“Yeah, but like, is that really still going to be an option if the war is on?”
“I told you, don’t focus on the war.”
“How can I not when I know that Voldemort thinks I’m some sort of threat to him?” Harry demands. “It’s not like it’s a mystery why he keeps coming after me, why people like the Order are guarding me like I’m their secret weapon –”
Both Remus and Bill make a noise like they can’t quite believe that Harry knows or suspects about him being the weapon… in a way (the prophecy way).
“You’re not a weapon,” Sirius states. “Not exactly.”
“Oh, please. You may not have told me anything about why the Order was stalking me last summer, but I know damn well that something is up and when you said the Order had something they didn’t have last time, something like a weapon – well, hello, it certainly seems like it’s me.”
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
Sirius had completely forgotten that he had intended for Harry to figure it out so he would train away before he gave Harry the mirror. He wanted him to know and try and prepare, he had not wanted him to think of himself as some secret weapon.
Shit.
Bill’s the first to react.
“Harry, I won’t say that some people in the Order would consider you a weapon but that doesn’t mean that you are one.”
“Except it’s obvious that I am. You all told me I was supposed to die in the graveyard and because I didn’t, I threw Voldemort’s plans out of whack. And then you said there was a weapon that Voldemort’s after –”
“Which should make it clear that you are not the weapon,” Remus states. “He’s been laying low and not going after you.”
“Exactly. It’s a thing, kid, you are not a thing. So, there’s nothing to worry about,” Sirius assures him.
“Before I got banned from Hogsmeade, the Order was still stalking me.”
“Erm, well, that’s –”
Something that he hates and wishes more than anything would be stopped. He doesn’t think it’s really necessary by any means. Not when Voldemort won’t attack out in the open. He can’t risk people believing Harry.
“– just for your protection,” Remus jumps in. He knows how Sirius has felt about it all.
“And because I’m to be used to end Voldemort somehow.”
Sirius frowns. “Where’s this coming from? You haven’t been thinking about the war or Voldemort in a long time.”
Harry shrugs, looking uncomfortable.
“Harry, kid, please tell me what’s going on.”
It’s obvious that Harry doesn’t want to talk about it, but Sirius can wait, and he does wait. He waits as he, Bill and Remus continue playing Exploding Snap, Harry will tell him when he’s ready.
Harry sighs, ten minutes later. “We were talking about career options in the common room, and well, every Gryffindor in my year and above attended the D.A., so they all definitely believe me now.”
“Go on…”
“And obviously, they believe that we’re at war or we will be and … well, that I’m responsible for playing the hero. Saving people. Like I did as a baby. Like I did when I faced Voldemort in my first year. Like I did when I saved Ginny second year. Like I did when I fought him last year. It’s – there was a pretty heated debate about it honestly.”
Sirius frowns. “Just because you’ve saved people doesn’t mean it’s your job. You’re fifteen, you have your whole life ahead of you, you do not have to choose a career based on the war.”
“Besides, they’re wrong about expecting you to be a hero,” Bill offers. “Yeah, you’ve been one. I remember growing up with Mum reading stories about the Boy-Who-Lived to Ginny, but they were just stories. Yes, you turned out to be a little bit of a hero, but that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to be one.”
“Doesn’t it? I mean, everyone’s always treated me like they expect different from me than everyone else. Like whole insane points thing over Norbert and the way they only forgave me because I ‘saved the day’ or the way they thought I was Heir (despite no proof and serious alibis when stuffed happened) and then happily welcomed me back as if they hadn’t suspected me just because my best friend was attacked. As if the fact that I was in the hospital wing, seen by the Hufflepuffs right before Justin was attacked, and literally with Ron and Hermione when the cat was attacked weren’t good enough reasons for it NOT to be me. It’s like the same thing with the Tournament or this year, people turn on me if I’m not doing something heroically impressive.”
Harry groans and shakes his head. “I literally don’t have a choice in my future. If I go quidditch, people will criticize me for not doing something more practical after ‘starting the war’. If I go professor, people will state that I ’m too weak and encouraging others to fight for me, instead of fighting myself… so really, the only option is for me to be an auror and save the world.”
Harry’s not wrong and Sirius hates everyone right now.
He knows that even the Order has been hanging their hopes on him since Dumbledore’s been essentially stating that surviving without Harry is futile. They don’t necessarily call him a weapon, but he’s as good as in some people’s eyes.
Sirius clears his throat and says, “I don’t care what everyone expects from you. The war did affect the continent last time, true. So, there’s a possibility that if the war does the same thing that we’ll have to deal with that, which may mean that we’ll have to go to the Americas or Australia for your future and that’s okay, but I won’t let you be forced to be in a hero position when you don’t deserve to be forced to do that.”
His kid deserves the chance of a future that he wants, not one that’s forced on him.
He can see the frown on Bill and Remus’ faces, but he’s focused on Harry.
“You want me to leave the country?”
“I’d want us to leave the country, if need be,” Sirius corrects.
“What about the war and the people we care about?”
“We can advise them to leave, too, but … all I care about is your future.”
Harry looks very uncertain when someone calls to him in the distance. “Talk later.”
“Later, kid.”
Harry disappears from the mirror leaving Sirius to deal with Bill and Remus.
“What was that?”
“What was what?”
“You’re going to leave?” Remus questions. “Since when do you run instead of fight?”
“Since I have a kid to think about and my husband died fighting for a cause that was meant to protect our son and said son is the main target of this war – from more than one enemy.”
“When you say it like that, it’s amazing you’re still here,” Bill states. “Why didn’t you take him when he first came here?”
“I wanted to take him when he was entered into the tournament, but it was too late – I didn’t want to risk something ruin things for Harry if he was under the contact, which made no sense, but that’s what everyone said. Then, I was hoping that he would get kicked out of Hogwarts so I could take him away because that’s the only way around going back to Hogwarts without O.W.L.s already completed.”
Bill nods. “So, after the year’s over…”
“I wanna take him the hell out of here, but I am not sure that it’s going to work out.”
“Why not?” Bill asks, Remus is being suspiciously quiet.
“We haven’t had the best luck,” Sirius says, although he really wants to respond sarcastically by how obvious it was why he’s not exactly optimistic.
“That’s fair. I suppose you two have been rather unlucky.”
Sirius hums. That was one word for it…
It’s quiet for a second before Bill says, “Well, I should head out. I’ve got guard duty tonight.”
“Have fun.”
Remus says goodbye and waits for Bill to disappear before he turns to Sirius and Sirius already knows…
“Whatever you’re about to say – I would re-think it before you actually to say it.”
It doesn’t take more than a minute before Remus says, “I never thought you’d encourage your kid to run.”
Sirius tries to stay calm.
He counts backwards in his head from ten.
Ten.
Nine.
Eight.
Nope, not working.
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” Sirius demands. “Are you really going to suggest that I allow Harry to be a weapon in the war? That I allow this war to negatively affect his future?”
Remus scoffs. “You’re putting words in my mouth.”
Sirius gives him a look. “Maybe you should re-phrase your question then because in case you didn’t notice – I’ve always been intending to wait until he could leave with his O.W.L.s and seek asylum elsewhere.”
“I thought that was only in the case of not getting rid of Fudge and Umbridge.”
Sirius scoffs. “Harry is in danger with or without Fudge and Umbridge. True, if they are done at the school and Voldemort is out in the open, it’ll make Hogwarts better for Harry, but the main problem remains… actually it’ll probably get worse.”
“Main problem?”
“The hero thing, the weapon thing. Harry said it himself; he’s got all of these expectations on him that are already trying to make it so he’s doing something that he might not want to do. Which isn’t fair to him. He’s just a kid that needs to be aware of the danger he is in, but not pushed to do something for the rest of his life because of the hero thing.”
“That’s fair, but we still have Dumbledore –”
“– who has been treating my kid as a weapon of sorts. He keeps saying that Harry and Voldemort are tied together and implying things that … aren’t great. Okay, I know the prophecy, I know what Dumbledore thinks, and I’m not going to let that happen to my kid, I’m just not. Prophecies don’t always have to come true.”
“But if it’s the only thing we have to go off of –”
“I don’t care. You all can find another way, one that doesn’t involve my son,” Sirius states, firmly.
“So, you are running away.”
“It’s not running,” Sirius retorts. “It’s protecting what’s left of my family that I already lost to this war. I could hope that things will change soon, but it’s been two years of hell, worrying about my kid and I need to do something about it. Harry deserves to have his second father step up and do something.”
Remus hums, looking down at his drink. He’d been trying to have more tea than alcohol so that Sirius wouldn’t be tempted to drink, and Sirius appreciates that since it gives him some clarity.
It’s clear as day to him that something is niggling in the back of his mind, that things aren’t going to be that easy, but he has to do something for his kid, and he hopes that he can manage it because Harry deserves freedom.
“And think James and Lily would agree?”
“I know that they would,” Sirius states, trying to ignore the sting of Remus bringing them into this conversation. The fact is that they’d had many conversations about the prophecy and what it meant for their son… time to do something about it before it’s too late.
Remus nods. “Alright, let’s just hope it’s the right decision.”
“It will be.”