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Jungkook closes his lips, and waits a few seconds to relax the buzzing nerves before opening his eyes. He doesn’t dare to look up however, and he remains looking down at the glossy floor, his heartbeat a little too loud and he wonders if Yoongi sitting opposite him could hear it.
“Well, damn.” Jungkook honestly couldn’t tell if Yoongi is surprised because of how terrible he sounded, or if he actually sounded good (because he doesn’t believe for one second that he sang at his best condition), so he keeps his eyes on the glossy floor, and starts to take in the small details and daydreaming before a hand smacks his head.
“Jungkookie, that was amazing. That was near damn perfect, honestly. Taking into account of your English levels and the fact that you, well all of us, have been overusing our vocal cords, that was good.” At that, Jungkook lifts up his head, red already filling every inch of his cheeks, and he begins to play with the hem of his shirt, curling his fingers within and letting it go, and repeats the action.
“Thanks, hyung.” He mumbles, and he pulls at his shirt a little roughly when Yoongi laughs softly, the sound making his heart dance in delight. Jungkook lets out a heavy sigh he doesn’t realise until he physically feels his muscles loosen, and he rubs his cheeks in hope that the red will quickly disappear.
“It’s nothing. So, when are you going to post it on Soundcloud?” Jungkook looks up at nothing in particular as he thinks about the date of the last cover he released, and decides that two months is long enough to keep the ARMY waiting.
“I might tweak with some of the instrumentals, because-well, I’m not sure, and some of it just sounds weird. Not unpleasant, but not exactly fitting the way I sing the song?” Yoongi nods, and then licks his lips once, twice, then nods to himself again firmly.
“Mm alright, well tomorrow come and find me in my studio and we can work on it together. You’re still an amateur with mixing after all.” Jungkook smiles at that, and then he remembers that Yoongi could play the piano. Despite the other constantly saying how “I only know a little” and “I haven’t practiced lately so no, I'm not going to play the attack on titan ost for you Taehyung”, when Jungkook was lucky enough to catch Yoongi practicing, he always thought the elder was excellent at it. Sure, he makes mistakes here and there (and the grumble he lets out was so Yoongi), but his facial expressions, the tone quality of the music and the emotions he puts into every practice piece was breathtaking.
“Yoongi hyung, you should just play the piano for me.” Jungkook smiles a little mischievously and is already preparing himself for the eye roll and the look of annoyance, but Yoongi does not do any of the things mentioned, and instead he raises an amused eyebrow at Jungkook.
“Me? Are you sure about that?” Jungkook’s mind blanks out for a few seconds because wow he was not expecting this kind of reaction. This is the Yoongi hyung who pretty much gave Jimin the cold shoulder for quite a few days when he uploaded that short clip of him playing the piano (Yoongi wasn't aware that the camera was on) and didn’t loosen up only after Jimin was ready to go on his knees. He blinks in sheer confusion, and then when he tries to imagine Yoongi in front of the piano his lips move before his mind,
“Yes. I mean, that would be great, yea, I’d like hyung to play the piano for me-I mean, the song. Yea.” Jungkook can feel the red creep back into his cheeks again, but Yoongi doesn’t tease him for it, and he just shrugs.
“Ok then. Give me a week to practice and I should be good to go. Next week this time meet me in my studio, ok?” Jungkook nods, still processing this new information but the curiosity burns so despite asking question he should’ve such as “should I practice in the meantime” or “hyung will you manage ok because our schedule is pretty tight next week”, he asks,
“Yoongi hyung, you normally don’t like playing the piano in front of the members, so why this time?” Jungkook curses at himself for his bluntness, and he prays that Yoongi won’t just suddenly change his mind and leave. His prayers are answered, because instead of his way too imaginative imaginations, Yoongi thinks for a second before shrugging,
“Well, it's just for you.” Jungkook swallows nothing and blinks slowly.
“For…me?” Jungkook sucks in a quiet breath when Yoongi nods and scratches the back of his neck.
“Yea, because you’re my favourite dongsaeng.” The words take a little while to process because Jungkook is pondering the amount of truth within those words, but as soon as he sees Yoongi’s eyes slowly changing into small curved slits and the upward curl of his lips, he realises and gasps loudly in hurt and surprise, and Yoongi is laughing out loud and his beanie falls off in the process.
Jungkook has never been more nervous in the past week than any other time, heck, not even when he performed with Zion.T (ok that was a lie because that performance probably reduced ten years of his life). He has been practicing continuously, not letting the smallest moments of free time gone wasted, and did his best to block out the amused glances from his hyungs (the short one in particular).
And so, it was the day.
Jungkook swallows consecutively for the third time as he looks at the door in front of him, which is probably going to lead him to an unforgettable experience. Taking a deep breath in, Jungkook opens the door as he exhales. He immediately spots Yoongi, who has a pair of headphones on and is sitting at his desk where he usually created his new melodies and lyrics (that were always near perfect, in Jungkook’s opinion). Yoongi doesn’t flinch but just points towards the piano. Jungkook nods hesitantly, then stands to the side of the piano.
Yoongi himself stands up, and Jungkook watches as the elder sits down in front of the piano, still with his headphones around his neck. The case creaks when Yoongi lifts it, and Jungkook notices how a few of the keys are of a slightly different texture.
“She’s real old. Some of her keys stopped working when I bought it second hand, so I had to replace them.” Jungkook can’t say he wasn’t surprised when Yoongi suddenly speaks, especially about his piano, but he listens and takes every word in. The caring look in Yoongi’s eyes sends shivers through Jungkook’s body, and he finds an understanding smile on his face.
“Anyways, I’ll play it for you first. Tell me if you think its good or whether I need to change the key or whatever.” Jungkook nods, and Yoongi turns back to the piano, and the younger can somehow feel the change in atmosphere when Yoongi places his hands on top of the piano keys. He breathes in, and breathes out. His eyes are now half lidded, and Jungkook can’t help but to wonder if Yoongi knew how unrealistically good he looks. All the time.
A few seconds of silence passes, and Yoongi presses down on the keys. The first note is lonely, and so are the notes following it. Jungkook forgets his own name, forgets the way he breathes, because all that’s in his mind are Yoongi, and Yoongi. He’s lost in the way Yoongi’s body moves slightly with the flow of the music, and the slight creases within his brows when a particular sound didn’t blend well with the rest. Jungkook lets his eyes fall, and he traces the outline of Yoongi’s long, beautiful fingers. Had they always been so skinny? Jungkook wonders, but he doesn’t dwell on it because all too soon, Yoongi lifts his fingers and opens his eyes fully now. He lets out a soft breath, and turns to face Jungkook.
“So?” Jungkook is almost startled, because he’s still lost in his own world of admiring living masterpiece named Min Yoongi. He meets Yoongi’s gaze, and is surprised once again when he sees something akin to anticipation in black eyes, and he blurts out the first word that comes to his mind,
“Beautiful. Ah-I mean, yeah! Beautiful as in it was really good. Yea. It was really good hyung!” Jungkook bites his lip and begins to fiddle with the hem of his shirt again, wishing he had said something a little more refined and not being extremely obvious that he had been entranced by the elder’s performance. But he forgets it all when Yoongi licks his lips once and smiles. The smile that Jungkook would describe as a warm cup of hot chocolate with three marshmallows in it and a gently crackling fireplace.
“Thanks, Kookie. Then, I’ll record it now and then it’s your turn. Just make yourself comfortable on the couch and try to be as quiet as possible.” The younger nods and does exactly what Yoongi says, and he pulls out his phone to play a few more rounds of Piano tiles.
“Done. Jungkookie!” He looks up at Yoongi, who takes off his headphones and gestures towards the recording booth. Jungkook swallows and nods, proceeding to shove his phone back into his pocket. The only time he remembers setting foot in here was when they recorded Let Me Know, and that was under Yoongi’s request to record it in his own booth rather than the company one. He opens the door and steps inside, and he slips on the slightly worn out headphones. Looking down at the microphone, he readjusts it to his height and looking up just in time to see Yoongi’s discontent frown, and he meets it with a big grin that shows off his teeth. Yoongi rolls his eyes at that, and presses the speaker button.
“You good to go?” Jungkook brings up his hands and gestures a thumbs up, and Yoongi nods. He holds up three of his fingers, and then puts down each one after mouthing the words two and one.
A sound familiar yet different to the original track plays, and Jungkook can feel his mind already focusing on even the first few hums. He lets the sounds and words flow naturally out of his lips, and in a flash, the piano in his headphones come to a stop. He opens his eyes, and looks at Yoongi with anticipation, but he doesn’t see a smiling Yoongi, and instead the older looks conflicted.
“Hyung? Did I make a mistake?” Yoongi shakes his head, and he presses the speaker button.
“No, your vocals were fine. I mean, it’s fine like this, but…do you want to do it again? Since this song is about emotions one experiences after a breakup, so…yea, I doubt you’d have any experience in that field, but try to imagine it I guess? It’s not a big problem, but yea.” Jungkook takes in Yoongi’s words carefully, and he acknowledges them. He’s never had someone in his life that he loved so much he’d feel something after the relationship. Not to say he didn’t care for them, but the absence of their presence never bothered him too much. Jungkook nods, and Yoongi holds up his fingers again.
Jungkook watches as the elder lowers his hand, and the piano begins to play again. He thinks briefly about such a scenario, and he thinks about the title of the song, and he thinks not about a breakup, but thinks about someone that no sappy movie or wise phrases that could describe him and the other.
And in that split second, he knows. His chest tightens, and he begins to sing. Jungkook thinks about the first day he met him, and he thinks about his first impression of him and how quickly it had broken down when he complained about how he should be sleeping right now.
He thinks back to the first song they perform together, and how although his dance moves were not the greatest, but the moment he does dance, the passion in his eyes doesn’t go by unnoticed and Jungkook notes how it has only grown since then.
Jungkook sings the first line of the chorus almost mindlessly, because his mind is still wandering. He recalls the first time he had called his name in such a loving way and how natural it sounded at the time. But of course, it still sounds as natural as ever and Jungkook loves the sound of it rolling off in a voice mixed with a hint of his hometown accent.
A flash of memory comes back, and it’s the time where he cried (rather pathetically) in front of the camera as he walks in with his birthday cake. He remembers the comforting hand ruffling through his hair, and him asking with so much care (at the time Jungkook thought was strange of him) if Jungkook was really ok. He remembers the small wet patch on his shoulder, and also the fact that he never bring it up to any of the other members after.
As the last chorus begins, and Jungkook almost forgets to bring his note up because he realises, that this isn’t just your typical I-will-be-sad-if-he-left-the-group emotion, and this is your I-will-be-utterly-ruined-if-you-left-my-side emotion, and he finds it hard to take his next breath. The realisation of the emotion he's currently experiencing hits him a little too hard, too sudden, and thoughts race through his mind of both pleasant and unpleasant ones. Jungkook chokes a little on the last “you and me” and hopes he doesn't notice.
He doesn’t know how he managed to sing “together” because that is something that will never be, and even if they’re physically sitting next to each other, they will never be together, and the thought is heavy and it makes Jungkook feel small.
“Hey, nice work Kookie.” Jungkook jumps at the smooth voice coming in from everywhere, consuming his body and mind and heart whole and he wants to be next to him as long as possible. And he wants to do so many other things that he wants to voice, loud and clear for the world to see and hear, but he knows well enough the consequences so he keeps his mouth shuts and manages to form a weak smile of gratitude.
He slips off the headphones and leaves them hanging on the microphone, and then steps out of the booth with a pounding heart and messy thoughts tangled together he wants to leave. He lets the praises go by like a breeze and waits for the right time to make up an excuse of dance practice or getting bubble tea or whatever, but when he meets Yoongi's gaze, his legs are stuck because Yoongi is smiling that smile where his teeth and a little of his gums show and his nose is slightly scrunched up and Jungkook can’t. He doesn't know how he manages to leave, but he does, and he nearly sprints back to the dorm and throws himself face first onto his bed.
And his heart is still pounding, and Yoongi’s adoring smile is in his mind and his ears are burning, and his heart is pounding and it hurts, and it’s a pain that Jungkook doesn't know whether to love or hate. He thinks about the song again, and he almost laughs at himself.
There is nothing like us, because nothing in this world can even remotely be like what we have,
but there is also nothing like us, because there is no us.