Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

She sighs, eyes shut tight. He can hear the strength she uses to grip the grenade with both hands, so forcefully her skin scrapes against the dented metal. Her entire body trembles, as if she is silently fighting against it, against the unconscious, involuntary movement of her muscles. 

When she stares at him again, it’s — it feels different. Like she’s just shed a thin layer of the colossal wall that still places the both of them on complete opposite sides.

“Alright,” she says, weakly. 

“Alright?”.

Another sigh. Her hand trembles again. He is still holding tight to the z-drive’s pull string, not entirely trusting either his words nor his luck to not fail him again. Her thumb carefully plays with the trigger of her monkey bomb, and his nail scrapes on the metal of the his device's string. There’s a cold sweat still running down his back, soaking his shirt, and his throat is so sore he can feel where it hurts when he swallows dry air.

“Just… Talk, Ekko. Spill whatever it is you want to say”. 

He is still holding on the guard rail separating the workbench from the propeller where she is standing. Under any other circumstances, Ekko would’ve let himself get lost in there. He’s thought about this damn place so many times. When they were kids, and Powder kept rambling about how she’d found the “perfect spot” for their projects, and how she couldn’t show it to him yet, because it’d spoil the surprise. And then, so many years later, everytime he had to pick up the scraps from her explosions, knowing very well that that place — that small piece of heaven she’d promised to share with him someday was now the home of her killing machines.

He’d thought about what he’d do should he ever find the place. Pick it clean? Sabotage every project he could find?

Burn it to the ground?

He can still smell the smoke from her bomb. The bomb that never went off. Not anymore, at least.

The metal creaks when he moves. A tentative step. She follows him, empty eyes tracking him like prey, even now.

“Can you put the bomb down? Please?”.

The noise of her nail scratching the metal hurts his ears. “No”.

“You won’t pull it,” he says, heart pounding wildly, almost out of pace. He is hoping more than predicting. “Because I’m here”.

“Why not? Wouldn’t be the first time”.

When he thinks back to the bridge, it takes him a while — to swim through the hazy memories of foodstands and children laughing, riding his bikes, their bikes, across a bridge that was so much more than just bloodshed or a landmark of division — but he finally finds it. 

It’s still not the bridge, in his eyes. It’s her blood-stained face, her moving desperately, trying to push him off, the unadulterated rage in her blue eyes. 

When had they become like that, after all? When did he become the boy she wanted to hurt? When had she become someone he’d wanted so… truthfully so see dead, even if it had to be by his hands?

There had been blood on her face. He could see her teeth, stained just as much. Her face flashes in his mind. There’s still the ever-so-slightly phantom feeling of soft lips against his, and his chest caves in again. 

Those lips that had never been stained with blood. 

“So you’ll fail again?”.

She gives him a look, vibrant pink all but shining in the dim light. Almost defiant. He knows he’s walking a tightrope. 

But isn’t that so undeniably them? The never-ending knife juggling of spite and reminiscence?

And she does what she’s always done. What she’s been doing for so many years that they've become indistinguishable blemishes of memories. She rises to the challenge.

“That desperate for a rematch?” Her thumb caresses the trigger one last time, before she removes the other hand and holds it by her side, turning to him, finally.

Ekko tries not to falter. There’s a question at the tip of his tongue. What happened to you? Instead:

“Sit down?”. 

She sighs. “How long you plannin’ on staying?”.

He loses all the strength in his knees, and it’s all he can do not to just fall on his butt. Ekko carefully lowers himself to sit on the little steps leading up to the workbench. “How long you offerin’?”.

She scoffs, but it’s not venomous, like he’d grown so accustomed to. She shakes her head, once, and then again, as if she is trying to physically remove a thought from her mind. She walks to him. Every step is another tiny spark of hope that she allows Ekko to have, until she is, finally, standing right before him.

“Jeez, Ekko, what’s with the long face?” She says, with no bite. “I might start thinkin’ you care about little ol’ me”. 

Ekko slides over to make room for her, and she sits down. The wall between them reduced to one singular monkey bomb, the one he’d seen going off so many times, who now stares up at him almost comically, like it, too, can remember sharing a death or five with him. 

Ekko, Jinx, and a bomb between them. Just like it’s always been.

He grasps most of the story from what Jinx is willing to share. It’s not a lot, really, but he does his best to fill in the vacancies. 

“So, Vi came back to look for you?”.

“To look for my head, sure,” Jinx says, twisting a wire around her finger. She had taken apart the entire bomb in the process of speaking, and Ekko was still side-eyeing the small cylinder where he knew the gunpowder was stored. “But killin’ me is harder than putting a pink bowtie on a turtle and bringing it to dinner with ya folks,” she raises her eyes, looking right at him. “ Case in point ”.

“Can it”.

She pushes the monkey bomb’s empty canister with her index, towards him, and it comes rolling, and collides with his hipbone. “Sure about that? I’m pretty good with cans”.

He sighs. Screw dancing. Talking to Jinx is like solving the equation to time-travel with riddles.

“You think she’s coming back?”.

“Ha. Fat chance. I mean, she’s probably out of that cell by now, if that bluecoat girlfriend of hers has any idea what she’s doing,” Jinx’s face twists into a frown. “Nah. She’s not coming to look for me anymore”.

Ekko can’t truly believe that. Powder had told him she’d never see him give up on anything before, and he knew exactly who he’d gotten that from. I know my sister, Vi had told him, love and hope burning deep in her voice.

But did she, really? He’d thought like that ever since then. Maybe Vi loved her sister so much, hoped so much… Ekko knew the undercity had a short tolerance for such a periculous thing as hope. It was just like flowers. 

Didn’t survive for long where the sun couldn’t reach them. 

If so, what did that make him? Sitting side-by-side with his once would-be murderer and sworn enemy. What did it tell about him, covered in ashes and still bleeding from the consecutive explosions she’d set upon him, and still rolling the bomb’s can under his fingers, sharing stories with her? 

Jinx moved her neck, probably feeling pain, and the can escaped from under his finger, rolling back to her. He watched it go. Imagined himself pulling the z-drive’s string, watching it roll back and forth, endlessly. 

Trapped, destined to keep going from him to her until the universe collapsed into itself. 

“And… Vander?”.

Jinx took in a harsh breath. “Dead”. 

Ekko didn’t reply immediately. His mind was flooded with memories of Benzo. Of him dying, and him smiling at him and telling Ekko to not get mushy on him. He’d thought once he was back to his actual world, the memories would file themselves, neatly, into different folders, and he could look back on them, on the memory of his father hugging him amidst the music and beneath the warm lighting of the bar, untainted . That that Benzo would always remain like that, a version Ekko couldn’t go back to, but one he’d never had to see stained with blood.

But, now, when he thought of his grey hair and the scent of his shirt against Ekko’s face, it merged with his wide eyes, staring dead at the greenish fog, with blood pouring out his mouth, neck twisted atop the sidewalk where he’d been killed.

Benzo was one and the same, and Ekko would forever have to live with the knowledge of having had him, losing him, having him back, and losing him again. Again, and, again, and again—

“You keep tapping that thing,” said Jinx, pulling him out of his thoughts, eyebrows furrowed. “You plannin’ you telling me what the heck that is?”.

“I’m sorry. About Vander”.

Her mouth morphed into a straight, tense line. “Thanks for the pity. I’m sure someone else would love it”.

“It’s not pity”.

“Sure, Ekko. Thanks for the flowers, too”.

“Will you—” he took a deep breath, calming himself. “I lost people, too, y’know”.

Her eyes tremble again, almost like her mind is also drowning in memories. She brings her knees to her chest and hugs them both, tightly. “Another one of my lifetime performances”.

“ Benzo wasn't you,” he spits out. “You had nothin’ to do with it”.

“But I did. The enforcers came down here because of me ”.

It was you. You gave us the tip. 

Maybe all there was between them now, the one single thread still holding Ekko and Jinx together, was the unshakable weight of that mistake. They were both arms of the giant, and the entire world was their shared guilt. 

“The enforcers didn’t kill Benzo”. 

“No,” she says, nodding, and she’s not looking at him. “ Silco did”.

There is a silence between them, thunderous, like a rough wave about to crash on the shore. He reaches for the cord again. 

“I don’t know what you’re expecting to hear, Ekko,” she says, and it’s tired, like she’s gone over this in her mind, a million times over, in her own personal time machine. “I’ve thought about this since… Since he kicked the bucket on me. I don’t hate him”.

Ekko’s breath gets caught in his throat. And there it is, the truth, barenaked between them. Something he always knew, deep in his heart. The very truth he’s told himself ever since painting her face on the mural. 

She loves him. Truthfully so.

“He took everything from me. Vander. My brothers. Vi. You. Lied to me. My entire life. He did,” she brings one hand to her face, fingers grasping at her bangs. “He destroyed everything. But he—” she sobs, and Ekko realizes she’s holding in a cry. Probably has been since she sat down. “He lo—”.

His hand is sliding on the space between them before he can register what he is doing. It swaps the empty bomb down the steps, clink-clink-clink. Jinx notices the sound. Her gaze drops down to his hand, then to his eyes, and it hits him like a storm. 

Her eyes aren’t blue anymore, and yet, they’re still so painfully the same. Round, and expressive, wearing all her feelings on them, like she’s incapable of holding them in. And she is so scared .

He raises his hand, just a bit, and waits. She stares at him, for a long moment, and nods. 

He takes another good look into her eyes before moving. There she is, right across from him, the girl who, even after his death, clings to Silco’s memory, holds it close to her heart, protects it with her entire body. She loves him. Loves the man who destroyed her life, and the man who took everything Ekko ever held dear. Benzo . Vander. Claggor, Mylo, Vi. Powder .

And she’ll never stop loving him. The space between them isn’t just dry air and residual smoke, isn’t a few centimeters of a metal stair step, isn’t the distance he still has to cross. 

It’s the love rooted deep inside her heart, and the hatred burning in his veins.

“I’m sorry,” she says, choking on another sob. “I am”.

Ekko pulls her in. 

She closes her eyes a second before her forehead touches his shoulder. His hand sprawls against her back, pulling her closer. She doesn’t hug him back, doesn’t bury her face into his warmth. 

But she doesn’t pull away, and she cries .

The greatest thing we can do in life, he hears, as he releases the unpulled cord and uses the other hand to hold onto the back of her head, is find the power to forgive

He had chuckled, then. What had happened? Had he been so caught up in the wonderness of invention and of falling in love that his heart had for a second forgotten about the hatred he felt for that man? Silco of all people had told him to find the reason in forgiveness. 

“I’m sorry, too,” he says, with his voice still laced in sadness. “About Vander. About Vi. I am”.

He pulls back, ever so slightly, just enough to look into her eyes again. The tear streaks had cleaned paths through the soot covering her face. 

“I think…” he wets his lips, looking for the right words. “He was a monster. And I can't ever... Forgive him. But I am sorry that you lost him, too”. 

“You don’t mean that,” she says, pulling back farther. But when she meets the resistance of his hand on her back, she doesn’t struggle. “You’re just trying to make me stay”.

“Well, are you?”.

“Maybe if you stop lying”.

“It’s not a lie. Look, you asked me about this, right?”.

Jinx blinks, staring at him, as he uses his free hand to bring the z-drive to rest on his lap. And, of course, because who would she be, if not, she immediately catches on:

“Is that… hex-fucky-somethin’?”.

“Kinda. You see where I am going, right?”.

“You got my monkeys inside that thing,” she replies, cleaning the tears from her cheeks. “So unless you’re a crazed stalker, nah. I’m not following”.

Ekko had all of half an hour to cling onto the memories of that place, that special version of his life, all to himself, before having to open up his heart. His eyes blink up at her, as she stares intently into the device, seemingly entranced. 

Of course. The one person he has to share this with.

“I’ll sound real crazy for a bit”.

Jinx raises one eyebrow. “Yeah? Just a bit? That’s good,” Ekko moves his hand, so she has the freedom to lean back, into the heels of her hands, and stare at him. “I don’t like the competition”.

“Well,” he tries rolling his eyes, but there’s no might to it. “You know how the Hexgates work, right? Lots of people think it’s some magical teletransportation thing”.

She nods. “It’s just goin’ fast. Super fast”.

“Yeah. Now think about it. Going that fast”.

“Death,” she says. “That’s death. Boom. Ya dead”.

“Hypothetically,” he moves his hand, trying to make her take this seriously. “Think about being able to go that fast”.

She rolls her eyes. “What am I? The fastest mailman in the world?”.

“Now imagine ,” he grunts. “Leaving the undercity during, say, daybreak. Then go that fast, until you reach…” he thinks. “Shit, I don’t know, Freljord?”.

“Whom the fuck are you runnin’ from?”.

“So,” he says, again. “It was daybreak when you left this place, but when you arrived there, it’s still the night of the previous day. What did you do?”.

“The world’s shittiest backpacking speedrun?”

He stares at her. She sighs. “Alright. Time travel, smarty-pants? What are we pullin’ outta the looney bin next—”.

⏮ ⏮ ⏮

“Alright. Time tra—”.

“—vel, smarty pants?”.

“What the fuck?”.

“And then something about a looney bin?” He grins.

Her eyes seem to grow thrice in size. And they’re pretty distracting, shining in pink. She blinks at him, then at the z-drive, noticing his hand around the puller. 

“Do it again”. 

“Tell me something. Something I wouldn’t be able to make up on the spot”.

She frowns, but there’s that glint in her eyes. The one that used to make his heart flutt—

“I have a winged monkey tatt’d on the back of my left thigh. And it’s playing the cymbals, too”.

He pulls the cord before he can think too much about it, or else he’ll choke. 

“I have—”.

“—a winged monkey tattooed on your thigh. And it’s playing… Something”.

Jinx grins. “No, I don’t”.

“But you—” her grin gets bigger, and he scowls. “Asshole”.

“So now I know you didn’t, like, develop a mind-reading bullshit power either, ‘cuz I was toots thinking how big of a lie that was”. He is so distracted by the fact he actually managed to make her grin that he is willing to overlook her jerkness. “You sayin’ you used the hexgate’s acceleration thingy to make actual time travel?”.

Another deep breath. She looks enthralled by the whole thing. 

Time to make things worse. Again.

“Not just me,” he turns the z-drive around, so she can take another look at her little monkeys. 

It dawns on her so fast. He’s not surprised by it, but it does fill him with new dread when she hugs her knees once again, and with a tone that is either wonder or expectation, demands:

“Tell me”.

So, he does.

From the moment Benzo’s name leaves his mouth, to the very end, Jinx doesn’t ask him a single question. She listens. Not glazing over, no interrupting. She changes positions, tries to sit straighter, and then to rest her back against the rail, but her eyes never leave him.

It’s only mid-story that he realizes his voice is shaking, and he is choking on a sob, just like her.

He almost wishes she would interrupt. That way, he could have another second to think before he says:

“And, after the inventor’s party, we went back to your, well, to this place”.

“This… Z-drive, it consumes matter to work, then?”. 

“Life,” he corrects her, still trembling. “It… Works fine within the limits. Anything beyond that, and…—”.

“Ekko—”.

“I left him there,” he brings his hands to his face, almost pulling the skin. “It’s my fault he—”.

“Ekko” .

“He waited for me. He made Zaun better for everyone while I took my sweet fucking time, and—” there’s a strangled laugh coming out of his throat, and he is not sure if even sounds like him. “And now he’s gone. Just, gone”.

Jinx studies his face. She offers him no help. No soothing words. For a second, it looks like she almost… Isn’t there. And, even through his despair, Ekko raises his gaze to follow the direction she is looking at. 

A mirror, decorated with post-its notes. It’s all broken and covered in a coat of dust. He can’t even see their reflections on it. But Jinx is fixated on it. And her mouth is trembling. 

“Feels like shit, doesn’t it?” She says, in a voice so low it barely registers. “Being the one who keeps gettin’ to walk away”. Her eyes find him again, and there’s no softness in her voice when she says: “Welcome to the club, I guess”. 

Her voice is so cold, detached, and… empty that it scares him for a moment. He remembers the sight of the Professor singing to the kids at the square, his words of encouragement each and every time he and Powder came up with a new theory. His never ending support.

And it’s all gone now. Because Ekko wanted to come back to the world he had to fight tooth and nail to just barely keep alive.

It dawns upon him, then. He’ll be alone. In his pursuit of knowledge, in his attempt to save his tree, his home, he’ll forever be the only who gets to keep moving foward.

“I’m sorry,” Jinx says. “About your teacher. Sounds like a kind of… not too much of a son of  a bitch Piltie”. 

Ekko swallows, nodding. “I don’t even… I don’t even know if he had a family. Or how I should tell them. How I could”.

“Okay, hold your horses. For someone who can turn back time, you’re sure in a hurry”.

He worries his lip between his teeth. He traveled to a dream and invented time travel, but his tree is still dying.

“Only four seconds, though”. 

“Was enough to keep me from dyin’, wasn’t it?”.

His chest tightens. The last time, when she jumped, he lost sight of her body in the shadows. And for the painfully long second it took the z-drive to rewind, he thought… He thought—

“Where are you going?”.

Jinx stretches her arms above her head, but there’s something practiced about it. He’s faced her on opposite sides of a battle countless times, enough to see that the typical, cat-like laziness in which she moves is nowhere to be seen. 

“To sleep. I’m dead tired,” she grins. 

“Funny”. 

“The exit is that way,” she points. “See yourself out”.

Ekko rises to his feet as well. “Sure. Maybe tomorrow,” he looks around, feigning ignorance when she stares at him, puzzled. “Where do I crash tonight?”.

“Relax, Boy Savior,” she turns her back to him, walking, and his heart drops seeing that she’s walking towards one of the propellers, until he sees what seems to be a little tent at the end. “You did it. Saved the girl. I’m not… I’m not doing it anymore”.

He follows behind her. “I just came back from a parallel universe, dude. Spare me a roof over my head, maybe?”.

She scowls. They’ve never been so… Calmly side-by-side like this in years, and he only now realizes how taller he’s grown. When they were kids, she used to tower over him. Claggor had always been very reassuring in telling him that boys hit their growth spurt eventually, but Mylo and Vi never ran out of jokes about him one day going on his tiptoes to kiss Pow-Pow . 

Jinx stares at him, and it gives him enough time to look at her. Really look at her, for the first time since this all started. Her skin is paler, somehow. Her eyes, sunken in, visible even with the soot. The drop of her collarbone is also much easier to see now. 

And, of course, there’s the hair. So short . Just like…

Powder’s face flashes into his eyes for a second. Sun-kissed skin and crooked smile, and hair in little buns. But it gives way so easily it almost startles him. Because when he thinks about how he wants to see Jinx, it isn’t Powder’s face that stays. 

It’s hers, at the bridge, staring at him sideways, mischief glinting in her eyes and a smirk so devious she didn’t even need the pistol to drive chills down his spine.

He’d told Powder about how easily he’d given up on her. Promised he’d never forget that day, and the hope she’d made him realize he still carried within him. Now he wonders if he there was ever any way he could, eve if he wanted to?

Was that all it took? For him to look at her and see how much they’d grown? Taller, and apart? To see the arch of her eyebrows and the shape of her face and realize that even the deepest of hatreds hadn’t managed to poison the affection he had for a lost childhood?

That all the blood their lives could spill between their feet couldn’t wash away the fact that she’d been, and, on some level, would always be his dearest friend?

“Fine,” she huffs. “But you’re leaving in the morning”.

“So very charitable”.

He follows her halfway through the propeller before she stops him with a gesture and says she’ll go in alone. She disappears inside the tent for a moment, and comes back out so quickly she almost trips on her way out. Ekko takes the pillows and blankets from her hands.

“Something wrong in there?”.

She doesn’t reply. They walk back to the main pole, and she starts setting the things on the floor. While she does so, he knows the memories aren’t lost on her, either, because she does it just the way he expected her to. Taller pillow for him, facing where the light comes from.

How many times had Vander caught him with his head hanging from Powder’s bed, snoring out of his mouth, probably drooling, too? And how many times had Vi picked him up so he wouldn’t crank his neck, and placed it side-by-side with Powder’s, also snoring into his ear, before covering them both with blankets? He still remembers the time when Benzo had come back to the shop to find them both asleep atop a bunch of schematics and squibbles, all made in very professional bright pink crayons. How he had tried to rub the sleep from his eyes as Benzo had carried them both to Ekko’s bed, one on each arm, and how, later, he had awoken with his head resting on her shoulder.

It’s pitch black outside, and just the tiniest of lights come in from the open ceiling. There are no stars in the undercity’s sky, so it’s probably nightlights from the factories and shimmer facilities. It seems fitting that Silco’s daughter sleeps under the reflection of his rotten empire.

They lay side by side. And he knows he won’t sleep until she does, even if it takes until sunup.

For some reason, he thought Jinx would be a restless sleeper, turning around and kicking him in the sheens, but she stays almost unnervingly still. Her breath is still uneven, so he knows she is still awake.

“Jinx,” he calls.

“I am asleep. You’re talking to a sleeping person right now”.

“What are you going to do? Tomorrow?” And after that?

Always?

It is a very quiet answer. “I don’t know, Ekko”. A beat of silence. Then: “What will you do?”.

There is so much he hasn’t told her. About the parallel universe. About them. About him, in this very world they’re standing in right now.

And the axis of the question thereby lies in the fact that the Ekko that exists in this moment, sharing a cold night floor with Jinx, can’t be the same Ekko who will go back home to the Firelights once the sun rises. The Ekko who has a community to care for. A community she’s hurt so much. 

A community who can’t bear to have their secrets spilled to her.

“I have to go back home”.

“I know”.

He turns. She is still staring at the open sky, so he watches the shape of her face, the rising of her every breath. “I’m trying to save my place,” he says, in one breath, and if it wasn’t for the one-second too late rising of her chest, he wouldn’t know that took her by surprise. “It’s… it’s all going to shit if I can’t solve this, actually”.

“It’s going to be fine. Probs. You’re pretty good at fixin’ stuff”.

He takes a deep breath. His eyes are still burning from crying. For Benzo. For Heimerdinger. It’s all so incredibly tiring, all this crying. “I don’t know about all that”.

“Yeah, ya do. Never seen somethin’ you can’t kick back into workin’”.

We’ve both kicked each other around enough, haven’t we? He thinks. So why hasn’t this worked out yet?

“I have”.

Another deep breath, this time from her. “This doesn’t count. There’s no fixin’ me”.

Ekko buries his face in his pillow — her pillow? “All this talk about fixing. I don’t want to fix shit. I want my fucking—” tree to live. Life to get back on track. If it has ever been on one. “home to survive this”.

Jinx stays in silence for another second. “What is it? What went wrong?”.

“I can’t tell you”.

“Be vague, then”.

“It’s like a poison. And everyone will die if I don’t nip it in the bud”.

“... Like actual poison?”.

He hears the question she’s not asking. “No”.

They stay in silence for what feels like an eternity, but Ekko’s so, so tired of questions. Of this day. Tomorrow, he will—

“Can I help?”.

His eyes snap open. He adjusts, lying on his side, so he can take a better look at her, but she is still not looking at him. “You want to?” She nods. “Why?”.

She shrugs. “Sounds like somethin’ I could fix”. He nods, too, absent-mindly, and she goes on. “I mean, you said you’ll have to do this alone, right? I may be a screw up, but I’m pretty, I don’t know, smart’n’shit. If you’re there to turn back time when I fuck up, maybe for once in my life I’ll fix something and it will stay fixed”.

Ekko thinks about this. Really. Or, at least, he tries. Jinx, helping save his tree? It sounds absurd. 

But reality warping and time travel don’t sound too sane, either.

“You did fix something”.

“Huh?”.

He closes his eyes, wishing all the unseeable stars for a bit of courage, and says: “You brought me back”.

She scoffs. “ Powder brought you back”.

“Powder is in another universe, probably snoring right now,” he snaps back. “You’re here. And I am here”.

“So what? You just said. Your home needs you. You came back to save ‘em. Don’t try to make this into somethin’ it ain’t”.

He is so tired. And maybe that is what is making him talk so much, with no regards for the consequences that will surely follow tomorrow. 

“Oh, yeah. And I spammed my rewind to keep your ass here because I don’t actually care about you”.

He can hear Jinx clenching her jaw. “What are ya even implyin’ right now, wonderboy?”.

“I'm not implying shit. I’m telling you. I chose to come back, and I’m choosing to stay. Here. With you”.

“Right”.

He raises his torso just a little bit, to rest his weight against one propped up arm. “I told Powder that I gave up on you,” he hears Jinx’s breath catch in her throat. “Because I thought you were lost”.

“I am”.

Ekko brings one hand to her. He gives her enough time to see it coming. When she doesn’t move away, he carefully rests it atop the right side of her face, as softly as he can. “Then who am I talking to right now?”.

She scoffs, but it’s a choked out sound. “Shit if I know”.

He wipes one of her tears with his thumb, and feels her actually tremble beneath the touch of his skin. “ I do”.

Her hand comes to rest atop his. It’s so cold he almost flinches, but stops himself just before it happens. “Ekko”.

“Yeah?”.

“This other Powder, was she happy?”.

His voice is a sliver of itself, strained and pained when he replies: “I think so, yeah. I mean, no one is happy all the time…” bright blue eyes, giggles behind a bar counter, and playful dancing flood his mind. “But I think she was”.

Jinx’s touch grows firmer, grasping his fingers. “Were the people around her… Happy too?” She opens her eyes. Pink, but alive. Here . “Did she make ‘em happy?”.

“I don’t think anyone makes other people happy, Jinx. I think…” he tries to collect his thoughts, but her touch is so cold, and so grounding, he just says what’s right at the front of his mind: “I think we all just cling to each other, and try to make things better all around us” he thinks about the Firelights. About how much work it takes, all the time, every day, of every year. Every food supply run he’s had to deal with, every plumbing problem. That one year when there were so many new children that there weren't enough spelling books to go around, and they made the little library, with the little cardboard cards the kids could pretend-check-out books with. “If the people we love are happy, then what else matters?”.

She laces her fingers with his, brings their conjoined hands to cover her mouth, and sobs . And Ekko lets her cry. He doesn’t know what happened, doesn’t even know how much time has passed since he disappeared, but even in the displaced void of his memory, her loneliness is so evident he can almost try and grasp it. 

When she speaks again, it’s not what he was expecting.

“If you had enough… life, how far could you go?”.

Nightlight, probably the late morning employee shift, floods the hideout, hitting the mirror, and the pinkish light shines on Jinx’s face. And she is looking beyond him, towards the workbench, where the broken glass is.

“I don’t know. But, Jinx, the answer you’re lookin’ for… It's not in the past.".

She sighs, closing her eyes. She turns their hands, so his palm is against her cheek once more, and hers is resting on his knuckles. “You’re probably right…”.

The light fiddles out, drowning them in partial darkness again. 

“It’d never go back far enough, anyway,” she murmurs, almost unintelligibly so. 

“Jinx?”.

She gives his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Goodnight, Ekko”.

He moves his hand just a bit, just enough to move the chopped strands of blue hair out of her face, and then goes back to running his thumb just beneath the curve of her cheekbone. “Yeah, goodnight. Talk to you in the mornin’”.

In the morning, when he’ll take her to his tree — his home. His people. Take her to help him fix it. 

And, like with every decision he’s ever made that involved Jinx, he knows his life will never be the same again. 

Chapter Text

It is still dark when Jinx decides to partially push herself off the floor. Ekko tries to stay quiet, but she knows he is awake. Must know. Neither of them had really fallen asleep. There’d been moments, when she’d nestled a little harder against her pillow, and he’d tried to not move his hand from where it still was, resting on the side of her face. She’d breathed softener, then, almost rhythmically so, but it never lasted. He’d heard her grunts of dissatisfaction everytime sleep had eluded her once more, heard the way she’d kick at the blankets, all the way tossed to her feet by now, while his were still covering him up to his shoulders. 

He hadn’t had a very pleasant night, either. He couldn’t stop thinking about his home. Then, in the silence left by the tiredness of their soul-crushing conversations, it had all come down crashing. How long had he been gone? His chest ached everytime the thought crossed his mind. Jinx had been so vague in her story. She’d told him about the manhunt for herself and the chembarons, and the days looking for Vander in the mining tunnels, and the single afternoon where he’d been taken from her again. But she’d made everything sound so fast .

Almost as if she’d skipped something. Something that still hung in the air between them.

One thousand days , Professor Heimerdinger had said. If the wild runes had sent them across time, who was to say it hadn’t pulled him back the same way?

But it couldn't be. He couldn’t let himself think that. If years had passed… 

If he’d just left, without saying goodbye, and left his people to fend for themselves for that long, he’d never be able to look Scar in the eyes again. His friend would forgive him, he knew, but Ekko would never forgive himself.

And if three years had passed — then what about the tree? Could it even survive that long? Could it even have survived one year? One month?

His hand is on her lap now. She’d leaned back on the heels of her own hands, looking upwards towards the open ceiling. She was silent, so much so he could practically hear her thoughts bouncing around inside her head.

“What if I come back and it’s all gone?” He says, quietly. “What if I take you there… and everyone’s left?”.

Hopefully left . He doesn’t what to think about the other opt—

“Relax, you worry bug,” she says, voice husk from a sleepless night. “Have some trust in that tough guy”.

I do , he thinks, t hat is why I know Scar would’ve taken them all somewhere safe before the anomaly killed our people.

But was there even somewhere safe, down there? Where could they even run to, that Ekko hadn’t attempted to hide in, before?

He wants to ask her directly — how much time has it been since Silco fell? But everytime the question comes to his mind, all he can think about is the deafening sound of the grenade's trigger being pulled out, and the sight of her entire body being lit up in pale blue. 

And there they go again. Playing catch with their sorrows. His anguish can only end when hers begin. The clock ticks ever louder, like it’s telling him this is all headed for tragedy. And Ekko should listen, he should , but what he does is stick the clock deep inside his pocket and let it cry away the foreboding omens of his future to the silence. 

“I’m just worried about him. Things were already… messy before I left”.

“Jeez, I forgot how much of a softie you are,” she gives two light taps on the back of his hand and sighs. “C’mon, then. No use in stayin’ if you’re gonna be all strung up like that”.

Ekko tries to blink the sleep off his eyes, as Jinx nimbly rises to her feet and starts making her way through the place, towards somewhere still hidden in the darkness. 

“Already?”.

“Why not?” Her voice is ridden with something he can’t quite place. “You want a tour of the place or what?”.

Ekko gets to his feet as well. His muscles are all tense, and there’s still that heaviness to them that he is so used to. Unadulterated exhaustion. He crouches to get his jacket from where he’d folded it before attempting to sleep, throwing it over one shoulder. The z-drive sits just by the side of his makeshift bed, still glowing bright blue. The smallest spark of arcane energy swirls about inside, reminding him of a life that no longer belongs to him.

Grounding him to the reason he invented the thing in the first place.

It takes a bit for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but he finds Jinx easily enough. She is standing by the workbench, hand tracing something on the desk. He approaches cautiously. She hears him as Ekko stops by her side, but gives him no other indication she’s actually recognizing his presence there. He lets his gaze shift down, and wonders how it took him so long to notice. He blames it on the tiredness. On the desperation, as he stood on the edge of trying and failing to bring her back. 

“It’s rude to stare, ya know”.

Ekko awaits to see if she’ll bring it up herself, but, once she doesn’t, he uncomfortably shifts the weight from one foot to the other, before finally asking. “How did it happen?”.

“I had it coming,” she shrugs. “Bet a lotta people were hoping it’d make me just a tad bit less of a trigger happy maniac. Well,” a shake of her head, and she grasps whatever it is she was tracing with the hand that Ekko can’t stop staring at. The one with the brand-new mechanical finger. “Didn’t last long, for all the good it did”.

He tries to recall last night’s conversation. They’d told each other so much, it kind of feels like peeling apart a wall, brick by brick. Through sheer force of will, he manages to find what he thinks is the most likely explanation. “The topsider?”.

Ekko remembers her. Mostly, he remembers Vi’s unrelenting trust in her. And, as always, one word from Vi had been enough to bring down the walls he had worked too hard to build. She believes what she’s saying, Vi had told him. He’d allowed himself to hope, then, however briefly. Piltover had always been the ever looming shadow cast upon his life. The warden he’d never had a choice in having, watching over his very existence from the moment he’d been born. But the Firelights had changed so many things for him. 

“Right,” Jinx clicks her tongue. “Forgot you were all friends”.

Ekko leans against the workbench, crossing his arms. “Hardly. We met once”.

“You protected them. Back then”.

A shiver runs down his spine. He hadn’t really allowed himself to think back to that moment too much. The fight, he replayed in his mind, more times than he’d care to count. But the very first moment? He’d been lying on the ground, gasping for air, and, in the next, he’d been flying head-first into the way of her bullets.

“Why?” She asks. 

And maybe that was the reason, all along. The one he’s only seeing clearly now, in the darkness of this solitude with her. 

“I wanted to hurt you,” the honesty leaves a familiar taste on his tongue. She doesn’t even flinch at it. “But most of all, I guess… I guess I didn’t want Vi to have to take you on”.

This makes her falter. He hears the sound of the metal being squished in her hand. “You’re just an all-around hero, aren’t ya?”.

It doesn’t feel like heroism to him. 

Vi had been dead. That was what Powder had told him. She’d killed all of them, except Vi. Never Vi. Someone else had finished the job. And now the two of them remained, forever engraved on opposite sides of vengeance. Powder had chosen Silco’s twisted dream of an empire fed by blood, and he’d chosen the hope of a brighter tomorrow. 

And during what felt like years, Ekko had thought how different things could have been had Vi stayed. Had she not run off and gotten herself killed by a nameless murderer, who had somehow managed to burry the last remains of his childhood.

Of course, Vi hadn’t died. Just another one of Silco’s lies, poison that had taken form in Powder’s words. A lie Ekko had allowed himself to get drunk on. Why? Why had he believed so easily that Vi was gone?

Powder is dead! I’m Jinx now!

Newfound knowledge makes his eyes tear up. If Vi hadn’t been able to reach Powder — if she was gone , then Powder truly was dead and buried. Ekko could never have his friend back, because the only person who could save her was dead.

It wasn’t his fault, then. That Powder had been lost. That he’d given up. 

Vi was gone, and she’d taken Powder with her.

“No. I’m an all-around coward”.

Jinx snickers. Actually snickers. “Alright, you gotta stop with the lying to make me feel better, okay? It’s getting old”.

Ekko moves his head to the side, trying to catch her gaze. “I left”.

“I told you to leave”.

“You would’ve stayed”.

Because Vi would’ve. In his place, Vi would’ve torn down every single wall Silco tried to put between her and Powder. She would’ve never given up on anything. And had Ekko been taken instead, she wouldn’t give less of a shit if he wasn’t her brother. She would’ve brought down the entire undercity to find him.

And so would Powder. Because all she wanted was to be Vi’s little shadow. All she’d ever wanted.

“No,” she says. “I wouldn’t. I would’ve messed it all up,” Jinx sighs, her face twisting into a frown. “I think time-travel might’ve scrambled your eggs. I don’t know who you’re thinkin’ of, Ekko. But I…”.

She bites down on her lower lip, strongly enough to draw blood. 

“I was never the person who does the saving”.

The Boy Savior . What a joke. 

“Besides,” she tries to shake the hurt from her voice, almost manages to. “I’m not shitting on you for becoming friends with the Piltie. Well, not anymore, at least”.

“As I said,” he rolls his eyes. “We’re not friends. Your little firelight bombs exploded right on her face. I couldn’t let her fight you. You would’ve turned her pretty face into a strainer”.

“Ha! Guess that’d save me a bunch of time, then. The road to sisterly disaffection would be much quicker!”.

Ekko stares at her for a second, and then: “Oh? The two of them finally…?”.

Jinx’s grimaces. “That obvious?”.

“You should’ve seen them, back then. I was third-wheeling in my own house”.

“Ew”.

He chuckles. “So… They’re together, then?”.

“Should be. I mean. I hope”.

“You hope?”.

“What? Argh. Look,” the grip she has on whatever it is on her hand grows just a bit weaker. “I’d rather she dated literally any other girl from the undercity. Even one of the blockheads. But the stupid topsider but some kind of love bug on her or somethin’. I’m tired of pretending that ain’t happening”.

The stupid topsider. A Kiramamn. He didn't know squat about any big-shot Piltover family, much less what being a Kiraman was supposed to tell him. Back then, she’d been just the topside girl Vi assured him he could trust. And so he had. And it scared him how easily he’d done so. One word from Vi and he had shown her around the place like she’d belonged there.

When Heimerdinger had sat him down to explain the enormous difference Caitlyn could make by herself, holding the legacy of the Kiraman family on her back, and a good impression of his people… Well, Ekko had never wanted any self-serving pity from the topside goons, but if this Caitlyn , if these Kiramamns really held that much power, then maybe for once in their lives they could put it to good use.

And the Firelights could have been part of the reason why that change had even a chance of happening. 

“Wait,” Jinx calls out. “You took her to your hideout?”.

Ekko hears some kind of tension in her voice. “More like dragged her in, but, yeah”.

“Blindfolded?”.

“Not on the way out”.

“So she knows where it is?”.

“Is that a problem?”

“It just… You must’ve really trusted her, then”.

“I trusted Vi. I… For the longest time, I thought the Firelights made me tougher , y’know?”.

“You still punch like a bitch, if that's where you’re getting at”.

“And you shoot like a drunk Poro”. He shakes his head. Jinx is too good at distracting him. “No. I meant… Well, they did. In some way. But most of all, I think they made me more gullible".

Jinx’s entire body tenses up. 

“Before them… When it was just me and Scar, scraping by from empty scrapyard to overrun dumpster, Vi could come back from the dead with a Piltie girlfriend hanging to her arm, right in front of me and I’d still tell the girl to fuck right off. But…” he brings one hand to the back of his neck. “Having ‘em around changed it. I wanted to believe in Vi. In the topsider. It’s amazing the kind of shit a roof over your head makes you hope for”. 

“You’re preaching to the priestess, Ekko. Talkin’ like I don’t know you’re a jelly-hearted dumbass. You and Vi are just two peas in a pod”.

“And speaking of her, what you’re saying is… You have a Piltie sister-in-law”.

Jinx’s gaze grows dark again. “I don’t. I… I’m not going back. I’m done”.

“Done?”.

“Vi did everything for me. But she can’t have her life up there while I’m… well,” she blinks, choosing her words. “I was thinking alive , really. But I guess I’ll have to do with around ”.

“Jinx…”.

“Oh, no, mister. You already did your save-the-day speech. You’re banned from it for a month, at least”.

“Vi wouldn’t—”.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, Ekko. I mean it”.

He stares at her again. She looks so serious. Dead-set on it. But Ekko can’t really imagine a world where the two of them could ever manage to live so far apart. Even in the universe where Vi had been gone, Powder still carried her memory around. 

For now, however, he’ll just have to hope the greater forces that rule the universe agree with him. He can’t fix their relationship when he can barely patch up his own friendship with her.

“Alright,” he concedes, but not really. His attention is then pulled to the workbench, and he almost shouts out of surprise: “ Wait, Razorbite?!”.

“No,” Jinx swats his hand away, almost on instinct. “Razorbite sucked ass. Threw him in the trash ages ago”.

“But he was cute”.

She scrunches up her face. It makes her look so much like Powder, that, for a moment, he’s frozen in place. “He looked like a dented tin can, Ekko”.

“A cute one,” he sighs, carefully picking up the little droid and turning it around in his hand. “What’s this one’s name, then?”.

She swallows harshly, and her gaze is lost on the droid for a moment. Ekko almost puts it back on the desk before she answers: “Scuttle-Butt”.

“That’s bullying”.

She shrugs.

“And the one you’re holding in your hand is his friend?”.

“No,” she says, quickly opening a drawer on the desk and shoving whatever it was inside, before Ekko can take a look. “Just a piece of junk I had laying around”.

Of course, he doesn’t believe her. But he doesn’t want to press too hard, or pull at the wrong corner. She’s cracking jokes and snickering, but he can’t shake the feeling from his heart. Her eyes a second before pulling on the trigger. That Jinx never existed in this timeline, but she’ll forever be burned in his mind. 

“Well, Scuttle-Butt could use a coating, I think. You got any paint around?”.

Jinx raises one eyebrow at him. “Take a wild guess”.

There’s just a bit of light casting down on them by the time Ekko puts the finishing touches on Scuttle-Butt new armor. They’re sitting with their backs pressed to the wall just beside the workbench when Jinx winds up the little droid and it takes off flying. Well, flying might be putting it generously. But an attempt was made. And Ekko can respect it.

It lands just on the border of the propeller, and Ekko’s heart sinks for a moment, before it starts stumbling its way back to safety. 

“I think you hit it on the head,” Jinx says, lips pursed. “He’s all wobbly”.

“Excuse you, I fixed it”.

“Whatever you want to believe in, pal”.

Once Scuttle-Butt makes it way back into the safety of his hands, he brings the droid to rest on his shoulder, dismissing Jinx’s softie under her breath. And there’s no non-awkward way to do this, so he just takes in a deep breath and asks:

“Wanna go now?”.

Jinx’s eyes grow wider for a second. “You meant it?”.

“Chickening out?”.

She squints at him. “Starting to believe you saved my ass just to be a dick to me one last time”. 

“It’s the joy in the smallest things, really,” he says, getting up and offering her one hand. 

“Asshole,” but she takes his hand anyway.

Ekko tries to ignore the small spark of electricity from where their hands meet. They’d never been the overly touchy type of friends, but they had just barely managed not to slip from a random rooftop, or tripped on a mud puddle, or taken a hit to the head from another kid too many times, and helped each other get up from where they’d fallen on their asses just as regularly.

Jinx allows herself to get pulled up, and all Ekko can think is that her hand still, somehow , fits perfectly against his.

“Gonna go grab a few of my things before we dip. Bathroom’s that way if you need it”.

“Thank heavens. Was starting to think you just didn’t have one”.

Instead of answering, she just rolls her eyes and turns her back to him. Ekko chuckles to himself as he walks towards where she pointed.

The bathroom is a small little thing. He turns on the sink and throws a bit of water at his face, enjoying the feeling of the cold against his skin. Stares at himself for a little bit. He’d tried to avoid it at first, but there was only so much one could do against the natural instinct to stare at their own reflection that somehow belonged to another version of themselves. 

Every time he’d stop in front of a mirror, he couldn’t help but think about how much… Softer that other Ekko looked. Although he’d looked a bit tired from staying up all night working on his project, he had the fresh face of someone who wasn’t used to doing so. 

When had been the last time Ekko had felt just tired , instead of bone-crushingly exhausted?  The other Ekko didn’t have stress lines on his forehead, from frowning so much. He didn’t have eyebags from staying up all night running numbers or helping a nurse hold down a patient having shimmer withdrawals. Hah. He didn’t even know what shimmer was. He didn’t have calluses all around his knuckles, and bullet scars running down the side of his arm. Didn’t have burn scars on the back of his knees or migraines so painful the whole world turned upside down. 

And he had piercings . 

Fuck, Ekko wanted piercings. It was stupid, and dangerous. But he wanted them.

He washed the dirt from his face meticulously, taking the moment to calm himself down. When he opened his eyes again, however, Ekko found himself staring, puzzled, at the two toothbrushes on a cup to the edge of the sink. Jinx’s entire bathroom as a cluttered (although mostly clean) mess, with clothes thrown haphazardly around the laundry basket. A bunch of colorful hair ties, just like the ones she had at the end of her braids, were just thrown over an unopened pack of pads on a little basket just beside the foot of the sink. Make-up pallets resting above the mirror, some seemingly broken. And more hair brushes than a girl could ever need littered every shelf. 

And yet, the only thing that caught his attention was the small, baby blue toothbrush, looking even smaller sitting with what he supposed was Jinx’s one. As if being pulled by a thread, Ekko took another look around the room, and found little splashes of blue tint on the bathtub, almost entirely washed away.

He’d daydreamed about bright blue locks of hair enough to know Jinx never needed to dye hers.

Had someone… Did someone…

Jinx hadn’t mentioned anything of the sort. Her side of the story had been entirely lonely, with the exception of Silco’s second in command, Sevika, until Vi and her had tracked Vander through the tunnels. 

The tiniest bit of hope burned within him. Then, maybe, just maybe… Jinx hadn’t been alone . Maybe… she had a friend?

He walked out of the bathroom, and she was nowhere to be found. His blood almost froze over, thinking he had somehow messed up again, and Jinx had left. Or, worse—

A shadow moved within the little tent. He approached, but didn't dare to enter.

“Almost done,” she called, from inside. Her voice sounded… weaker than before. 

He heard rustling, and then she crawled out of the tent, with a noticeable bigger pocket added to her belt. “Left my toolkit inside”.

There were tear trails on her face again.

“We have a workroom, you know”.

Jinx got to her feet and walked past him, the propeller wobbling with each step. “Yeah, like you know what to do with it”.

Jinx didn’t look back when they climbed out of the hideout. Not even once.

Ekko’s knees trembled when he found himself standing on the streets of the undercity once again. Familiar greenish-fog and overbearing neon lights greeted him back. But one thing was definitely different.

“Argh…!” He fought the urge to hurl, bringing a hand to cover his mouth.

“Easy there. You still need to get used to it”.

“I’m… Fine,” he said, coughing, “Just… Didn’t know it was that bad. I… Had no idea”.

He’d been so preoccupied with the water contamination issue. Had barely left his place in the weeks leading up to the wild rune incident. His scouts had told him about the Grey, and how difficult things were getting out there. And Ekko had tried to come up with a plan, to try and clean the areas more affected, but the hunt for Jinx hadn’t let up yet, and he couldn’t risk putting his Firelights in the direct line of combat, not now that the Enforcers were coming down with hextech weapons. 

If he’d known Vi had been with them, maybe he could’ve stricken a deal—

Well , he thought, still struggling to breath, maybe I wouldn’t , actually.

How could someone do that? He’d expect it from the gold-dressed buffons that ruled Piltover, but not from the girl he knew had walked through those very streets. 

Then again, the undercity was full of people who knew exactly how bad things were, and actively chose to make things worse. Like Silco. Like Jinx . Maybe this time it’d just hit different because he hadn’t expected it from someone who claimed she’d wanted to do things right .

“How isn’t this affecting… argh , you?”.

“No idea. Shimmer?”.

Ekko’s eyes snapped open so quickly he almost went dizzy. “What?”.

“Relax. I’m not… On it , or anything. Sil—whatever. I don’t use it,” she tapped onto his back, as if he’d choked on something. Which might as well be the truth. “I’ll tell you the bedtime story version once we get out of this fog, alright?”.

"... Sure".

“C’mon, Ekko. You can’t blame yourself for every bad thing that happens in this dump”.

Somewhere, I got caught up in all the ways it wasn’t. Gave up on it.

“Believe me, I didn’t,” he straightened his back, ignoring the burning in his nostrils. 

“Good. ‘Cuz I really wanna see this damn tree”.

“You do?”.

Jinx shrugged, but there was a glimpse of true curiosity and wonder she was trying to hide. “I mean, yeah? The one single tree in this hellhole? Who wouldn’t?”.

Ekko nodded. He ran his hand down the strap of the z-drive, steeling himself. Jinx was still looking at him. 

Gave up on you.

“Okay, then. Let’s go”.

“Over there!”.

“Copy!”

“Don’t let her escape!”.

“C’mon,” Jinx huffed, popping her head above the rubble they’d hidden behind. “I never said I wasn’t running from the law any—”.

“Shh”.

“Do you have mufflers inside that thing?” She whispered, bringing her face closer to his.

Thankfully, for Ekko’s dignity, his mask completely covered his face. She couldn’t see his eyes drop to hers. He’d deemed the mask necessary as soon as they’d encountered the first patrol. The alternative Ekko’s life might’ve left a bigger impression on him than he’d thought, because bringing himself to put on a mask as he walked around the street corners of his city suddenly didn’t feel as… Natural anymore. 

“Why?”.

“Your voice just sounds kinda cool when you have it on,” she said, not paying attention anymore. “I think they’ve left”.

Ekko also looked above the rubble. A lifetime of avoiding enforcers, in their own ways, made the both of them practically untrackable. 

Still. That had been before.

Before the undercity had apparently been put under martial law. Now, everywhere he looked, even the hidden spots he’d come to trace in his memories, had been overrun by bluecoats with their stupidly powerful hextech rifles. They could barely take a step in any direction without coming face to face with those horrible breathing masks of theirs.

“ Okay, there is another way ”.

“Why does it sound like I’m going to hate it?”.

“It’s through the water tunnels”.

“Huh? Oh— Ew! ”.

“Shh”.

“I just told y—”.

It happened so fast, Ekko’s mind barely registered it. One second, he’d been looking at Jinx’s face, and, the next, her eyes had turned into pools of burning pink, and she’d slammed into him. The sheer amount of force took him by surprise. Ekko didn’t remember her being this strong.

But, for better or worse, his body had learnt how to fight her, even if his mind had so easily been disarmed. He raised both arms to his face, keeping her from grappling him, and pushed back onto her. She also countered, faster than he could react, and they fell onto each other in a mess of half-hearted kicks and pulls with no might in it.

He realized surprisingly quickly that Jinx hadn’t been trying to hurt him, but to push him away. In his hastiness, he had unknowingly kept her from doing so.

Well, not that he’d let her, anyway.

Either way, the hand that fell upon them ended up clasping him by the hood of the jacket, pulling him off her so easily he was once again astonished by the strength. As Jinx’s face softened, he knew it couldn’t be an enforcer. So who would—

Tall. So much taller than him. His assailant’s other hand quickly grabbed him by the collars of the jacket, lifting him from the ground. Ekko would’ve kicked at them, and probably broken their shin, if he didn’t notice, right at that moment:

“Scar?!”.

“Mask off,” he snarled.

And off it went. And, for a second, they both stared at each other. His truest, most loyal friend, had somehow managed to find him in the entrails of the undercity almost as soon as Ekko had returned to their world.

“Save the crying,” said Scar, putting him down. “You alright?”.

“Yeah. You?”.

Scar nodded.

“How did you find me?”.

“Heard rumors. Someone saw a mask. Your mask,” he frowned. “Had to check. In person”.

Although he was trying not to show it, his hand was still securely holding onto Ekko’s arm.

“I’m sorry. I’ll explain everything”.

Another nod. “We should go. Not safe here”.

His eyes landed on Jinx, then. She stared back. Ekko moved in front of her, one arm outstretched. “I have a good reason. Trust me”.

Scar kept staring for another second, but his gaze wasn’t the scorching touch of rightful hatred Ekko had been expecting. Instead: “They thought you were dead”.

“Common misconception,” She side-eyed Ekko. “You can thank him for that”.

Scar let go of Ekko’s arm. “Won’t be easy. Telling the others”.

“I… I know”.

“But…” he looked somewhere beyond them, seemingly lost in thought for a second. “A bit easier. Maybe”.

“What?”.

“We should go,” he repeated. “Patrol’s changing”.

Jinx agreed. Scar took the lead. Ekko followed him, keeping an eye on her. It all felt so surreal. He was back home, and he wanted to hug his friend. He wanted to apologize for the disappearance and to talk about their people. He held onto the inside of his coat’s pockets and sighed. There’d be time for it later.

For now, they had to get to safety.

Scar took them through a series of corner streets and hidden passages, until they finally found an alleyway blocked off at the end by a concrete wall. 

“A hand,” he said, positioning himself to push aside the chunk of the concrete that had been cut off to make a secret entrance. 

“I got it,” said Jinx.

And quite the secret entrance. Ekko was thankful Jinx had volunteered herself to help, because he didn’t think he could've helped, right at that moment. As Scar and her pushed aside the bit of the wall, the graffiti broke apart, separating the detailed background of smoke flares and stained glass from the main character of the piece.

It was her . 

“Hey, Ekko,” called Jinx, already half-drowned in the darkness of the tunnel. “You comin’ or what?”.

In the picture, Jinx was holding her closed fist up in the air, a solemn expression to her face. The graffiti spoke of bravery, might and hope. He could practically see it written with every sprayed line. 

And the real one was still waiting, staring at him like she couldn’t understand what had gotten him so puzzled, like he’d been rooted in place.

Jinx. A symbol.

What the actual fuck had even happened?

Chapter Text

It is only by the careful, warning look that Scar gives him, over the shoulder, that Ekko remembers. He hastens his pace a bit, catching up to Jinx as they near the opposite end of the makeshift secret passage. They are at the very end of the way, and Ekko knows he should've done this earlier, but it's only now he manages to say:

"Hey. I'll cover your eyes for a bit".

He tries not to notice his heart plummeting at the sight of her crestfallen expression. Jinx simply nods. Ekko stares at the orange scarf he has, hanging by the pocket of his jacket. But somehow the piece of cloth seems like too much. He's never particularly felt anything about the choice of blindfolding new Firelights, except that ever-present feeling of a looming threat, just at the edge of where his eyes couldn't see. When it came to his people, there had never been such a thing as too careful, too cautious, too paranoiac.

And, yet.

"Here," he says. "Come closer".

Her skin is so cold upon touch. He knew that already, by the feeling of holding her hand through a sleepless night, but the flutter of her eyelashes against his palm as she closes her eyes feel just like the heavy setting of the first breaths of winter. He blames it for the shiver that goes down his spine, as they continue walking, a bit slower this time, trying to time his steps with hers so she won't trip. Scar lets out a bone-shattering whistle and taps on the circular rail at the end of the tunnel, completely covered by bindweed from the other side, wrapping themselves around the metal. 

Ekko always thought that it looked like life was trying so much to spread itself beyond his little haven of safety, to grace the rest of the undercity. Now, with memories of an undercity with clean skies and thinner air, he can't help but wonder if it has, instead, been trapped inside all along.

It takes a moment for the patrol to respond. Ekko counts the seconds in his mind, his heart thundering against his chest. His home . Just on the other side of that entrance. The soft touch of sunlight, the rustling of the branches bending under a kid's weight as they attempt to climb the trunk, the creaking of leaves under his feet.

"You're trembling real bad right now," Jinx teases, but her voice is laden with something Ekko can't quite place, as well. "Homesick?".

There's a sadness to the word. Ekko doesn't know what home could've meant for Jinx, after all this time. He still dreamt of The Last Drop, but more often than not, those turned dark and cold, images of Silco stalking its' empty halls, whistling a tune to the silence Vander had left behind. 

Had that been home for Jinx? 

Before he can answer, he hears whistling on the other side, and the tunnel's lid begins to be rolled sideways. Strays of light flood the passage, one by one. A collective effort by Scar and the Firelights on patrol at the other side rolls the lid completely out of the way. 

Yellow, and faded orange and the charred brown of his tree, marked by blade and crayon alike, drown Ekko in a sea of belonging . It's barely morning, and the children aren't awake. He can faintly hear the sound of someone sweeping the first deck of the treehouse, the slow, granting noise of the rusting metal swings, the chirping of birds stopping by the water fountain.

The Firelight has barely let go of the lid's handle before she is running towards him. And Ekko is rooted in place, body frozen by sheer, unexplainable affection, so much it makes him choke. She engulfs him in a hug. She's barely a teen, still small enough to nestle her head on his chest, without even disrupting the awkward angle his arms are still at, hands hovering over Jinx's eyes. 

The girl sobs against him, and Ekko drops one arm to hug her back.

"Hey, it's alright," he says, as softly as he can. "What's with the crying, Hawks?".

"You-you..." she puts a bit of distance between them, dark grey eyes reddened by the sudden cry. "I thought— we all thought—".

Scar puts a calming hand on her shoulder. "Breath. He's back".

Hawks nods, pulling up her shirt to stop her runny nose. It's only then she even registers Jinx, standing right beside Ekko, one of his arms still around her shoulders, doing a poor job of using just one hand to try and cover her eyes.

Ekko clenches his jaw, preparing for the worst. Scar had not mentioned the graffiti, but he knew something had changed in the undercity. Jinx had changed. But had it been enough? Perhaps not for complete acceptance, but at least, the first, hardest of the steps?

"Jinx," she says, almost a whisper.

"The one and only," she replies, waving her hand. 

"You holdin' her hostage?".

Ekko shares a look with Scar. There's a sigh he just barely manages to hold in. "Not exactly," he says. 

Scar resumes to walk, and they all follow him. As dirty concrete gives way to soft grass, Jinx takes a noticeable second to adjust. Then, she smirks, and nudges him with her elbow. As Ekko turns to her, ear close to her mouth so she can tell him in secret, it almost feels like she's going to tell him something else. Like how she's finally done fixing another arcade machine, or how Vander says he'll teach her how to bake those cinnamon rolls she won't stop bugging him about.

Like they're children sharing whispers again.

Instead, what she says is: "Homeward bound, huh, Little Man?".

It's another wave of realization. They'll never be those kids again. This is home now. 

"Always".

He stops walking right in the middle of the courtyard. His knees haven't stopped trembling, and he needs a second. It's too much. All too much. Scar notices, turns to Hawk and says:

"Gather the other. Meetin' room," he presses his lips together, in thought. "No gossips. Will tell everyone, later".

Hawks sends another look towards where Ekko and Jinx are still standing, beforing cleaning a few tears from her eyes, smiling at him, and taking off running. Scar approaches:

"I want to give you time. But we should go," he says. "The other's should know".

Ekko nods. "Just a sec," almost absent-mindedly, he lowers the one hand he still had over Jinx's eyes, and says: "I'll take you up the tree. The view is cooler on the deck".

"If you say so," she shrugs, eyes still closed. "Just don't make me trip, alright? I might be a broken bone away from kickin' the ol' bucket".

Scar raises one eyebrow, shakes his head, and walks towards the stairs. Ekko leads Jinx by the hand, eyes flying from one nook to another. He wants to drink it all in. Everything he missed, everything he might've forgotten. He tries to piece together which graffiti had been there before, and which were new. Notice the different colored blankets hanging from windows. It's all so quiet in the early morning, like he'd never left. 

Scar makes a move to grab the elevator's crank, but then stops. Looks at Ekko. And steps aside. And Ekko is so grateful, he knows he'll never be able to put this into words. He steps forwards and wraps his fingers around the tattered leather of the handle, and pulls. The machinery whirls into life, and he watches the clockwork moving. 

Another stylistic brilliant choice, am I correct? Heimerdinger had guessed, staring at the wall of gears and dolts spinning around. 

The kids love it. Ekko had explained. But I did have to move it, like, two feet higher. Those grabby hands, man...

Everything about the Firelight base had always seemed so wonderful to the professor. Ekko couldn't quite place how a person who had lived that long, and changed the world in such ways, could be impressed by his little box of clock gears, but Heimerdinger had never once looked at Ekko's home with anything but respect and admiration.

Grief was far from a stranger, but this one felt different. The professor hadn't been a victim of war. Hadn't been slayed by the senseless violence that seeped into every waking moment of Ekko's life. 

He'd been... Lost. Drifted away in the waves of time and possibility.

Was it even grief, then? Or something else? Could Ekko still mourn him, honor him, if...—

"Oops!".

"Sorry, should've warned you," he leads Jinx by the hand inside the elevator. "Careful with the feet".

"Bit late for that".

Scar closes the door, and the elevator starts to move. Jinx doesn't even seem fazed by the change of gravity, makes no move to grab the rails just by her side. Ekko watches the hideout as it sprouts around him. He'd tried to make sure the buildings grew alongside the tree. Although he very rarely took the elevator, much preferring his hoverboard — which, hopefully , was still somewhere around... — but he hoped that whoever did take the elevator could feel embraced by the place, rather than removed from it.

"Alright, now be careful with your feet".

"Well, now I know already".

Scar moves to open the meeting room's double doors, but doesn't stop Ekko when, instead of following him, he leads Jinx around, through the curved balcony, towards the opposite side. He feels a strange sense of relief upon finding his little workbench still propped up against the wall. It's nothing big, certainly not when compared to the actual workroom downstairs, but it's special to him.

He guides Jinx until she's standing at the best spot for the view. And, for a second, he just looks at her. They're quite close to the tree's canopy, so there's more shade than sunlight being cast down on them, and, even still, the tiniest rays of light dance with each rustle of the branches, brought by the calm early morning wind. And the shadows dance on her. 

She looks so... Calm.

It hits Ekko, then, why it feels so strange. In all those years they'd spent battling, he'd hoped so much to catch even a slimmer of such tranquility, to at least once meet his friend as he remembered her.

But this isn't the face of his friend. Powder would've opened her eyes by now. Would've opened them as soon as Ekko asked her not to. She'd challenge him to the top. Sit at his workbench and make a mess out of it. She'd laugh, and whine if he complained, and, at the end, Ekko wouldn't even mind.

Perhaps he'd hoped so much for Jinx to change, that he had been the one to misremember her. He'd dreamt Powder into a person she'd never been, perfect and unbroken, hoping that could mend the living wound Jinx had become. 

But that hadn't been fair, to any of them. 

"You can look now".

So, she does. He watches every change in her expression. From the sleepy opening of her eyes, to the first lookaround, barely registering anything. And, then—

Dark magenta turning into softer pink as her eyes doubled in size. The way she tried to hide it, blinking as fast as she could. Eyes darting everywhere. From the water fountain, to the playground, the little ramps, the shining yard, the walls covered in graffiti at knee length, where the kids could reach. Her hands grab the rails, holding on for dear life, as she tries to make sense of everything.

"Little Man," she calls, voice all breathy and uncertain. "This—".

"I think you're drooling," Ekko says, using his hand to playfully push her chin up and shut her mouth.

"Shit. How did you even hide all this?".

Ekko wants to make a joke. Wishes he could. That this moment of softness and bewilderment could last longer. But he doesn't want to lie. Has never wanted to. Not to her.

"Fear, really".

Her eyes cast down. For a moment, Ekko feels the same desperation that grapples his heart everytime a new batch of refugees come in. He watches her look for the exit. Trying to find where it is that Scar, or Hawks, or Ekko brought her through. And the voice at the back of his head screams that, for anyone else, his home could mean just barely less than another flask of shimmer. 

He didn't like thinking this way. Wanted to see the best in people, every single one he brought aboard. And he did, eventually. Yet, he could never stop the crushing weight on his mind. How much money did Silco offer for him? Enough to tempt?

Just barely enough for betrayal?

"I used to be scared of him finding me, too".

Ekko shakes his head. There is no Silco anymore. There is no reward. There are no bloodlusted animals hunting him for a chance to kiss Silco's ass. 

And there is Jinx. Right there.

"You?".

"I mean, you saw the place. I thought... I thought he'd take it from me, at first. And if he did, I, well," she gives a look, so full of pain and shame, that it breaks his heart all over again. "Maybe I wouldn't have stayed. I needed that dump, I guess. Just me, and the dolls, and some loud fucking music. Loud enough to be quiet, I mean".

"The dolls?".

He hadn't seen any. The place had been graffitied from top to bottom, but he hadn't found any crayons, or chalk, either. Just the spray paint for the droids. There was this feeling, on the back of his head, that if he'd looked down the darkness, a sea of colors would've looked back.

She scoffs. "Used to make 'em. I figured, if they won't shut up, they should at least have faces . Something I could get angry at, " Jinx shrugs. "I tossed 'em around if they got too loud. Used to help. Then it didn't," another shaky breath. "Now they're gone, too".

It takes a moment for it to click. He steps just a bit closer, pressing his shoulder to hers. "You made a Vi doll, too".

Jinx's eyes snap open, and she gawks at him for a second, before she, too, understands. "You told me little Pow-Pow was doing alright".

"And she was. The doll was just a tribute. Wasn't anything wrong with it".

He tries to catch her eyes. Hopes she understands him. Jinx blinks, eyes darting from his face, to the courtyard, and over his shoulder. "If ya say so". She looks above his shoulder again, lips twitching just the tiniest bit: "That where you keep all your failed projects?".

He follows her gaze. Of course.

"I'd need a bunker for that. No. I—".

"Ekko," Scar calls, face appearing on the window. "Time's up". 

He doesn't mean to, but the disappointment must show on his face. Jinx turns around, taking another look at the scenery, and nods towards him. "C'mon. Can't wait to see how you're gonna get 'em not to kill me on sight".

"Funny. I was wondering the same thing".

"I call bullshit".

"Well, so do I, but what options do we got?".

"Even no option is better than bringing her along".

"No," Ekko says, speaking up for the first time in a while. "Whatever you think about my suggestion, don't say that. No option is defeat . Is giving up on the tree. And we ain't doing that".

Sailor drops his shoulders, looking a bit ashamed. There's a murmur around the room. Agreements, but sober ones. Like hope is very much the only thing they still have left.

"Sorry," the other man says. "I just... Well, it's our tree. Our place. Gettin' help from her is like a kick to the balls".

"Plus," Lyn chimes in. "That's assuming she can help. All we know, she's as useless as a log".

"Logs can be useful," Thunder contributes, shrugging. "Bet they have a lower kill count, too".

"Alright," says Scar.

"What? Are we supposed to just keep pretendin' that ain't her?" He steps. "Whatever happened to you might've fried your brain, Ekko, but we stayed here. Still are. And she—" he looks towards the window, closed for the meeting. "Is still Jinx".

Silence overtakes the room. Ekko runs his hand across his face, thumbs pressing down just beneath the eyes. 

"Whatever she is, it isn't more important than the tree".

"Well, maybe it is ," Lyn says, raising her gaze to his. "Maybe it should be".

Ekko doesn't argue. Normally, their meetings don't go like this. He has enough of a good rapport for his leadership to never get questioned. But now, he's leaning against the wall, arms crossed, deep in thought. He has a name for the monster crawling up his throat, but he doesn't want to spell it.

Sailor pinches the bridge of his nose. "Ekko is right— if she can help fix the tree, everything else, it's...".

"There is no everything else, " Lyn repeats, turning to him. "It's people we're talking about. Our people".

"I know! But—".

"Oh, shut up," Brook rises from his chair, slamming his fist on the wall. "Both of you. Bitterness ain't bringing nobody back from the grave, is it? Neither is the tree," he looks to Ekko, an unspoken question in his eyes. "But at least it could keep the rest of us alive. Whatever it takes to keep the old fuck breathing, I say we go for it".

"Brilliant," Thunder scoffs. "You're right. My bad. Fucking Silco of all people named her Jinx , because she's so good at savin' stuff, right? She'll fix the tree right up and we'll all—".

"— We're talking about trying , not—".

"—skip into the fucking sunset!".

"Ekko," Scar calls, low enough for only him to hear. "You have to speak up".

The knuckles on the hand Ekko has curled around his arm grow paler. "I can't".

The monster is shame . It's written all over the walls. As he watches his friends — his family — throw insults at one another, the shame eats him alive. Because it's his fault. He went out of his way trying to save his past, and now his present has to pay for it. How could he have brought her? How...

Thunder falls back on his seat. " Jinx . A fucking Firelight ".

Brook sighs, pressing his temples. "No one is sayin' that".

"Oh, yeah? Then what happens after?" Lyn asks, and the question brings Ekko back to the present. "She fixes the tree and she goes on her merry-way? Journey back to the Land of Shimmer?".

Another silence, this one heavier than the other. Ekko can practically see the gears turning inside each of their heads. The thoughts flooding their minds. Jinx, walking around their hideout, mending their tree. Living under their roof.

He can see shades of anger, and distrust, and even sullen resignation paint themselves in front of him, but all he can focus on is the sudden dampness of his palms. 

Jinx, scribbling something on the bench under the tree. Inside the forge, hand covered in soot and sawdust going up to raise a welding glass from her face, to stare at him with pink, playful eyes as she scoots over to show him a new piece of machinery on the welding table. A life where Ekko would never have to rely on the shattering of time for her to stay around.

The realization takes the floor from under his feet.

Maybe he should've pieced it together before. Perhaps it's a lapse in just ever-so-reliable judgment. But it's only now that Ekko truly understands that he wants it.

He wants Jinx to live, and he wants her to stay. 

There's an all too familiar burning at the edge of his eyes, and he knows the tears are welling up. He has to clean them off before someone sees, has to...

"Ekko," Scar tries again.

But before he can answer, the door is pushed open. He almost doesn't hear Hawks saying "I'm sorry! She just—", before Jinx is stepping into the room.

Barely out of his life-altering realization, Ekko watches his friends fumble for their weapons, and shudder at the lack of them. No weaponry in the meeting room. An old rule. But Jinx's mere presence overweights all memories of habit.

"Jinx," Scar steps in front of her. "You should wait outside".

"Won't take long, promise".

They stare at each other for a second. Scar moves aside, but keeps one outstretched arm in front of her. Ekko watches her change the weight from one foot to another. 

"You got a lot of nerve".

"Well, no one's popped a bullet between my eyes yet".

"Not for lack of trying".

Jinx frowns. "Right. Life-long enemies and all. But that's ya lucky ticket. If it's me staying what got your panties in a twist, you don't have to worry. I won't".

Ekko doesn't know what hurts him more. The complete certainty in her voice, or the tiniest spark of relief that burns in his chest. If Jinx chooses to leave, then he won't ever have to ask her t—

"Yeah, right ".

Her voice grows angrier. "I mean it. If I can fix your stupid tree, I will. And then I'll fuck off. And if I can't, then I won't. And I'll still fuck off". Her eyes are trembling now. "This isn't my place . Besides, I don't really do the roommate thing".

"If you don't want to stay, why even go through the trouble?".

"Why not?".

Her voice is empty. To an extent that Ekko can see the way it physically affects each one of his friends. The Firelights had made him softer. More naive. Friendship, and family, and a home had made him hopeful. Ekko just hadn't realized that'd been the truth for every one of them, as well. 

And that was just the thing. For a group of people like them, the loneliness of someone, even if that someone was Jinx, weighted like lead. 

"Silco is gone. The undercity is a nest of enforcers, and for whatever reason, the Noxian hounds want to deliver you on a silver platter to the Commander," Thunder says, frowning. "This is the only safe space you could run to".

"I know".

"If you go outside, you die," Lyn sighs, sitting down. 

"Here's to hoping".

"Are you fucking with us?".

For the first time since Jinx stepped into the room, Ekko finds the strength to intervene. "She's not".

Shared glances. Nods. The price of a life in whispers. 

"If you do fix the tree," Brook says. "You should stay".

"Maybe a hole in the wall or somethin'," Lyn scoffs. "Somewhere your ugly face won't bother anyone". 

"So now you think she can save the tree?" Sailor asks.

Lyn puts her hands behind her neck, pressing down, the way she always does when she can feel a headache coming. "I don't think she can save shit".

Jinx opens her mouth, probably to make an ill-timed quip, but the room falls silent when Scar speaks up: 

"She saved me".

Jinx bites down on her lip, enough to draw blood. "Wasn't there for you".

"I know. But you did. Like it or not," he's quiet, for a second, a shadow looming over his face. "So many dead, but the few that made it back... they were saved because of you".

Jinx steps back, towards the open door, where Hawks is still watching them. "They were there because of me , anyway. Shouldn't have gone to that stupid rally. Sevika is an idiot. This whole Zaun thing is bullshit," she shakes her head, and it's almost as if watching her unravel. "They were there because of me . And Vander was— there 'cause of me . And they died 'cause of me! ".

She bumps into Hawk, who attempts to hold her shoulders. Jinx turns so quickly it's almost as if she's become a blur. Ekko sees her reach, clawing at Hawk's face—

⏮    ⏮     ⏮

"died 'cause of m—".

"Jinx," he calls, breathless, holding her wrist. 

"I'm sorry," she cries, and he sees the wall she's been putting up since she stepped into the room. It crumbles. Her face softens when she cries, all vulnerable, like she doesn't know what to do with her pain. "I'm sorry— I am ".

"I know. It's alright".

"It's not! Everything I do—"

"I didn't show up to the rally for you. The Firelights are a part of the undercity," Scar says, looking not towards Jinx, but at the rest of the room. "Piltover shouldn't get to forget that".

Jinx blinks the tears out of her eyes, still looking dazed. "What's the point? Can't win against 'em. Never could".

"You did," says Brooke. "Twice"

Even through the broken voice, she manages to scoff. "And look at all the good it did. She got us all that enforcer-buy-one-take-two-deal 'cause of me , too".

Someone sighs. Probably Thunder. "What do you mean?".

Ekko is the one who answers: "The Commander’s mother was on the council. She... didn't make it".

Someone gets up from their seat so fast that the chair scrapes against the floor. "You tellin' me the fences, and the curfews, and the beatings, and the fuckin' getting sent to Stillwater..." Lyn takes a deep breath. "Is 'cause you killed her mom?".

Scar shakes his head. "There's no reasonin' with grief".

"Fuck you. And fuck her , too. None of this would've happened if you'd just turned yourself over, then?".

"I did," Jinx lets it hang in the air for a second. "Just... Too little, too late, I guess".

"What took you so fuckin' long? Not enough dead? Beaten to a pulp? Too many children still had parents?".

"Lyn".

"I had someone to take care of," Jinx shrugs. "And then I didn't".

Ekko takes in the look in her eyes. He knows what it means. Even so, there's a part of him that hopes it's all just one long nightmare. He turns to speak to his friends, pulling Jinx behind him. 

"We've fought Silco our entire lives. We did because he was a monster. Because he deserved it, because the world is a better place with him gone—" behind him, Jinx presses her forehead to his back. " And we did it because we knew we had no chance against Piltover. Doesn't matter what we do. There's no winning against 'em. Never was. We all got tired of pretending there was, so we tackled what we could," he watches his friends eyes tracking him. He knows he's getting through to them. Because as different as they all were, that was their truest, most unshakable truth. 

Piltover couldn't be trampled. But they refused to be cattle, headed for the slaughter. So they'd fight. They'd help each addict, house all the children, burn every flask of shimmer. They'd do it all, because no one else would — because it was the only thing they could. 

If freedom wasn't an option, then at least Silco shouldn't be their jailor. And if Silco was their unchangeable fate, then they should make sure that, even as he reigned, never should the wicked be allowed easy rest.

"Silco is gone. But then there were the chembarons. And now there's Piltover. It never stops," he says. "I... I thought the undercity was doomed. I gave up on it, even if I didn't intend to," Ekko sees his words settle on them, sees the waves of shared guilt wash into the room. "But I don't think like that anymore. This city keeps changing 'cause it keeps fighting. If we'd stopped fighting back then, Silco would've won. And if we stop now, Topside wins," he steps forward, sliding his hand down to Jinx's. Trying to give her whatever bit of strength and courage he can muster. "So I need this tree to live, because I refuse to lose ".

His friends have all sat back once more. There's a moment of quietude, as they chew on his words, until, finally, Thunder leans forward, face as serious as Ekko has ever seen him.

"Just tell us why it had to be her ," he says, no drop of bitterness or anger in his voice. Just a friend trying to understand another. "Why do you talk like she could fix it? Why do you seem like you know her better than us?".

"No," Brook says, calm as ever. "Why did you always look like you did?".

Jinx steps beside him. "Wait. All this time..." her eyebrows rise, and he almost wants to chuckle. "You never told them? Who I was?".

His hands are shaking when he brings the z-drive forward. There is a tale about a girl painted on a mural. About a girl who grows up to stay afraid of change. A girl who ruins everything she touches. 

"Well," he straightens his back, preparing for a long, long explanation. "Because she helped me invent time travel".

Sometimes, it almost feels like the tale of his life.

Lyn is the second to last to leave. She stops by the door for a while, looking over her shoulder, and says: "Just fix the tree, alright?".

And she leaves before Jinx can answer. Which is probably a good thing. "That is kinda nice," she says. "I get to take credit for Powder's hard work. I mean, I don't know shit about time travel".

"And she didn't know shit about Hex patterns. Which I'm hoping you do".

"I mean. There was this guy, at that weird cult I told you about. Never heard of him before, but I asked around. Viktor . And he was from the undercity, too. I mean, figures. No Piltie would choose to come down here to help folks. Anyway. He was one of the guys who actually invented the Hexgates".

"What?" Ekko frowns. And then he remembers. Viktor had a theory about something called wild runes. "He was Jayce's partner, then? I guess I thought he was talkin' about an assistant or something".

"Whaddya know? A trencher built the Hexgates," she grins. "He kept playing with this funky-looking gear. I didn't know what it was back then, but now that you've said all this freak-a-roo stuff about wild runes, I kinda get it. It's not somethin' he can control, I think. It's like... A side-effect ".

Ekko nods. "Jayce and I thought the anomaly was happening because we overused hextech".

"Who's we? I had one gemstone".

"One too many," grunts Scar.

" Geez . Well, if it's just a side-effect of the runes, then we can't treat the anomaly".

Ekko wants to bang his head against the table. "The Hexgates. It's the same thing, in reverse".

"Huh?".

"Back there. The... professor Heimerdinger told me I couldn't come back here because the anomaly never happened there . And now, I can't fix my tree because there's too much of the anomaly here ".

"Something-something, the universe is a fat circle?".

"Time. Time is a flat circle".

"Maybe there is a way to canalize it and send it somewhere else".

"That's a reach".

"Well, shuttin' the Hexgates ain't happening, so we might as well reach, Ekko".

"Actually," Scar intervenes. "They might be halfway there".

Jinx and Ekko both turn to him, sheer incredulity written on their faces.

"The Noxus army has turned against us. The Piltover boy... Jayce. His partner joined them. Said they're coming for us. You two figured it out, so he did, too. If the Hexgates make the anomaly stronger...".

"He'll shut 'em down," Ekko says, letting the words sink in. Sadly for him, he's been a trencher, and a Firelight for far too long to not know there's a catch. "When?".

"No idea. They were still recruiting soldiers. Asked our help".

Jinx lets out a cackle. "Really?".

Scar nods. "Silco’s errand runner and I were called to the council meeting," Ekko hears Jinx scrach at the table leg at the mention of the other woman's name. "I don't know who she's speaking for. But we both declined".

"Probably every good-for-nothing moron who’s still running around. Y'know. My kinda people," Jinx says, but she's not looking at him. "You know where I can find her?".

Scar shakes his head. "Went our separate ways," he looks towards Ekko. "I did what I thought you would. But that was before. You're back now," his tone grows ever more serious. "If the anomaly is killing the tree..."

Ekko runs a hand across his forehead. "I know".

"No," Jinx says, catching his eye. "Fighting Noxus? You're going insane, and I should know".

"What other choice do I have...?".

Even as he says it, he hears the helplessness in his voice. They could barely stand up to Piltover . Noxus isn't a mountain — it's a giant, alive, and hungry.

"Find another tree".

"There isn't another tree," and he shouldn't, really, really shouldn't. Maybe it's exhaustion, or frustration. Maybe it'd been clogged at his throat for too long. " Silco made sure of that".

Jinx's eyes burn, almost red. "You wanna throw yourself at the warmonger? Fine. Go and die, then," her voice is choked out, almost unintelligible. "Just don't ask for my help with it".

"I need the anomaly gone. I need the Hexgates shut. Tell me, should I just ask real nicely?".

"You can't win, Ekko. She'll kill you".

"So, what, I—".

"Alright," Scar says, rising from his chair. "This is going nowhere. Jinx, I'll ask my wife to show you around. Eat something, too," he frowns at Ekko, then. "You, come with me. Something I have to show you".

It's Powder he sees first. Always is. He thinks Scar is trying to teach him some kind of philosophical lesson about not losing sight of her again, now that they're finally together again, until—

"We thought you were dead, Ekko," he says. 

He can feel his knees almost give up. His mural. His grief made in color. His own face staring at him. He looks from the mural, to Scar. 

"I'm sorry," is all he can say. "I am so, so sorry, Scar".

"I know what it feels like, now . To look at this and see. That the person you grieved is still alive," he turns to Ekko, fully facing him. "Without you, this place falls apart. I can hold on. I can carry us. But you're our light , Ekko".

He's never seen Scar cry. Doesn't think he'll now, either. But when his friend places his hand on his shoulder, he can feel him trembling. 

"I understand what you're feeling. You're scared. I was scared, too. When you left, I thought... That I couldn't do it. But they held on. So I did, too. We mourned you. But you never left. You kept pushing us. Forward".

Scar pulls him in. He's so tall, Ekko's face barely reaches his shoulder. Scar holds him close in a hug so tight Ekko can feel the worries, the exhaustion, all slip away. The knot in his chest loosens. He breathes in. Breathes out. 

It's safe. He hugs him back. It's safe, and it's home .

"If we have to fight. We fight. So don't be scared," Scar says, voice rumbling against Ekko's chest. He holds him ever so impossibly closer, and Ekko realizes, then, that Scar needed this hug as much as he did. You're real. You're here. You're safe. " Where you go, we go ".

He finds Jinx at his workbench. She's leaning on it, blue hair sprawled around and over her face. 

"She's fifteen months pregnant. How can she walk around so much?".

Ekko sits beside her, back to the workbench. "I don't think that's possible".

"Oh, she said they're doing your big welcome-back-from-the-dead party tomorrow".

"I figured. Too many of us on patrol".

A beat of silence.

"I meant it, Ekko. You can't win".

"I know. I'll still go, anyway". He twists his wrists around, trying to do something with all his pent-up anxiety. "Besides, she may be a seasoned war veteran with a shitload of soldiers, but can she turn back time? 'Cause I can".

Jinx blows a strand of hair out of her mouth. "Four seconds".

"Well, a friend once told me it was enough to save her".

Another silence. Jinx taps her nail against the wood. "A friend?".

"Yeah?".

She lets out a small, humorless laugh. " Don't ".

"Don't be your friend?" She nods. "I think we're too late for that".

Jinx shakes her head, face still hidden by the hair. "Please. Just... Let me help with the tree, and then send me back. Please ".

Ekko turns a little, his hand hovering over her back. He hesitates. "We are friends, Jinx. Aren't you tired of pretending we're not?".

"I'm not your friend. All I do is hurt ya. Hurt everyone”.

"Yeah? I just found out I hurt a lot of people, too. And all of 'em, I care about. A lot ," he lowers his gaze, staring at his hands. "Bet I hurt you , too".

She brings her hands up, covers her head. "Why didn't we stop? Before all this?".

"I don't know," he waits. All he can hear is his own heartbeat. Then he asks. The one thing he's never stopped thinking about. Tears his heart open right in front of her, ready for the stab. "Why couldn't you come with me?".

Because you were weak. Because Silco was safer. Because you'd never protect me. He wasn't a strong kid. Always lost at games. Vi was her hero. Claggor was her shield. Mylo could get through anything. Ekko had been her friend, her playmate, but what else could he do? She was just as smart as him. Powder never needed him.

But I needed you.

"I didn't want to hurt you," she says, voice muffled by all the barriers she's put up. "Everyone else died. If I hang around you, you'd die, too ".

She turns her head, and he can barely make out the shape of her face, but he can feel the way her tired eyes are looking at him, like she's seeing him for the first time.

" I wanted you to stay alive, Ekko ".

Well, that was weird. Ekko didn't recall crying. Hadn't felt the burning up of his cheeks, the trembling of his mouth. But when he brings his hand to his face, it's stained with tears. 

"Oh".

Jinx turns her head, to hide her face against the workbench again. "But I got it wrong, huh? Figures—".

Ekko's moving before he even registers what he's doing. Like they've done this before. A hundred times over.

"— I should've gone with you, " she confesses, arms around his shoulders, face buried against the side of his neck, holding onto him like she's never known a life where he didn't hug her right back.

And he does. Arms around her, chest flush against hers. He holds her, and he holds her tighter , like she could slip through his fingers if he isn't careful.

"You're my friend," and it sounds like a promise. Like something sacred. "Stop leaving me behind".

He's tired of this game of pretend. He loves her, and he misses her, and all that matters is that she's here. And maybe that makes him a bad person. To still love someone who hurt so many. Maybe it makes him a better person. The most loyal of them all. 

Who fucking cares?

She chuckles. "You're the time traveler. Keep up". 

"This time," he whispers, almost into her hair. "Let's try and stick together".

"Well, I think it's dumb that you can use the z-whatever, whenever," Jinx says, almost an hour later. They're sitting with their backs to the balcony's railing, and the children are laughing in the courtyard. Ekko makes a mental note to ask Jinx if she'd like to meet them tomorrow. "What if I'm destroying your ass in an argument, and then you just zziiip , and use my own words against me?".

"All of that in four seconds?".

"I'm a fast talker".

"Huh. Yeah, alright," he gets up, grunting, and opens the drawers on his workbench. "What color d'you like?".

"Pink," she says, without missing a beat. "And blue. Purple is nice, too. You?".

"Green," he says, rummaging through his drawer. He hears the sound of her footsteps coming behind him.

"Are those toys?".

"Yup".

"You're a better tinkerer than a carver, that's for sure".

"Can you shut up? I'm busy".

"This is a nightmare fuel, Ekko. What was it supposed to be? This bird has four wing—".

"Found it".

He turns around, looks her in the eye once, and then opens the little bottle of pink acrylic. The other hand brings down a tiny painter's brush. 

"There you go. I'll keep reapplying it so it's always fresh," he is very careful to not pull the cord as he paints a small pink line on the handle. 

"It's called being caught red-handed , y'know".

"You chose the color".

"I wasn't aware there was a theme ," she says, but her smile is genuine. "I'll keep the incriminating pink tint in mind for future debate sessions".

"That's pretty lame".

Before Jinx can reply, they both hear steps approaching. Hawks appears at the stairs, struggling for breath. Ekko immediately runs to her. "What? What is it?".

"They're evacuating the undercity... To Topside...".

"Isn't that good?" Jinx asks.

Hawks shakes her head. "One of us... Went to help. He said he saw a bunch of Noxian warships on the horizon. Like a dozen of 'em. Armed to the fucking teeth!". Ekko's vision gets a bit blurred as she speaks. "Everyone's sayin'... That we're doomed ... 'cause Piltover doesn't stand a chance ". 

Ekko leans against the wall, trying to calm himself. Piltover. Noxus. Hextech. 

Jinx gives him a look. Her eyes scared and lost. I wanted you to stay alive, Ekko. But how could he? How could any of them? The wheel of war kept spinning, and there was only so much he could do not to get crushed beneath it.

""You said something about trying anyway? ".

"You keep tellin' me I got no chance. So why are you even thinking about fighting?".

"Because you idiots are going to," she says, almost angrily. "And if I know my sister, that knuckle-head will be front and center on the way to the Noxian meat-grinder". 

Ekko closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath. All he wanted was to save his tree.

Chapter Text

If there was ever such a thing as a point of convergence between Jinx and the Firelights, it was the night. Narrow streets enshrouded in the early morning darkness. The tiniest bit of sunlight could peak through the abyss and reflect on the stained windows of the tallest buildings, but it never reached ground. Claustrophobic ventilation ducts, with the low humming of his hoverboard undulating against the cement. The tip-tapping of her iron-cladded boots kicking glass bottles down a street as she moved without care. Shapes in the night, creatures camouflaging against slate. 

Jinx had her bombs, and the Firelights had their flares, but one would only see it coming once it was too late. There had been a point in time — so, so long ago, now — where Jinx wouldn't pull a trigger unless she was certain of its target. When every time she heard the small hammer hit the rear of a pistol, the smell of gunpowder — powder, powder, powd — would transport her back to a night full of beautiful blue skies, of lights dancing before her face, of a wind that carried her to safety.

How could the most beautiful sight of her life have turned into a burning puddle of blood and a desperate cry that still echoed inside her mind? How could that scream still be clogged in her throat, the begging, the— Violet , violet, please.

I need you. 

She couldn't mess up again. Couldn't run the risk. She was the liability. The deadweight. The street rat Silco had picked up. Would he keep her in a cage? In a dome? Was she his creature to torment, or his kin to protect? She didn't know — couldn't know. The darkness was safer. She could hide well. Between malformed walls, broken down by time, and negligence. Underneath floor tiles, ripped apart by a family whose faces she — above ceiling beams, far out of the reach of everyone's eyes.

Except his. Never his. 

Silco would somehow hear her moving. Would watch her through the reflection on the stained glass of his office. And he'd listen, like he was learning the sound of her footsteps. Memorizing the notes of her being.

She couldn't risk getting it wrong again. A stray pellet to Sevika's shoulder or a bullet graze on someone else's thigh. Would it be enough? Would Silco pick her up by the chin and toss her aside? On the street? To the rats?

No, she couldn't. She'd have to get it right. She would. But the gunpowder . The smell. It made her sick. Made her stomach tie up in knots. Made her want to hurl, to bend down and screa— I only wanted to help!

She couldn't pull the trigger. Wouldn't. Her finger trembled against the metal. The bullets unfired, the barrel growing cold from the rainwater that fell on it. She was up to her ankles in mud and moss, straining her eyesight against an ever-worsening storm, watching her target, gun frozen in hand. The sky trembled with thunder. Loud enough to mask the— pull the trigger, pull the trigger, pull the—

I'm sorry, I'm sorry , she'd cry, hands against her head. The gun still on the left one, hard metal pressing into thin skin. 

A storm loud enough to muffle the sound of firing. To silence a grovel. To hide an approach.

Sevika tells me that gunpowder makes you sick . He didn't allow her time to raise her head, to find an excuse. Anything. Just: Why?

I'm sorry.

No sound of his footsteps, but she was suddenly made aware of his presence. Was it warmth? Couldn't be. He was under the rain, too. Soaked to his bones. What was it about Silco that told her he was there?

The cigar. She could smell it in the water .

What could you be sorry for?

I can't fire any— I want to, I do, but—

I asked what you're sorry for.

She blinked the tears out of her eyes. Clagg— someone had once told her about this. He'd read it in some fancy book he'd found in the trash. What was it called? A word that sounded like what it meant. Like the seafoam carried by waves. Whatever that looked like in her picture books.

Tranquility.

She lowered her arms. Water trickled from the weapon to the ground, another meaningless sound lost to the storm. She saw him. One knee bent, another stuck in the ground. Groveling in the mud. Like the damned do.

Wh-what?

You've nothing to be sorry for. 

But I'll mess it up.

What would you define as a mess? He cradled her hand between his, barrel pointing to his neck, and she flinched . Felt her finger against the trigger. She knew she had to pull it away. But fear froze her, and all she could do was muster all her might to keep it unmoving, under her control. It was but a second, just enough for him to pull her hand a bit to the side, and point over his shoulder. Somewhere in the distance.

Will you?

He got to his feet again. He was so much taller than her, but just a moment ago, she'd held his life in her hands.

Something clawed at her throat. 

How could he? He hadn't known the girl she'd been before the monster. Hadn't watched her tinker with bombs that didn't work or grenades that went up in harmless smoke. He'd only known her as the girl who had kill —

She'd had his life in her hands, and he trusted her. Not to fire. Not to pull the trigger and erase him, turn his person into a scribble, a footnote in the history of someone else's life. He'd trusted her like he knew she could be. 

What grave importance you give to failure. 

The gun was in her hands now. Both of them. Shaky, but gripping the handle with such force her knuckles turned white. She'd held in the trigger pull. She'd saved him. But shouldn't I?

Why? The weapon holds no control over you. He rounded her, both hands on her shoulders. One or a hundred bullets, it's all lead. It's all blood. And all blood eventually runs back into the ocean .

The shakiness stopped. He'd trusted her. She'd held the gun against his neck, his life in her hands. And it meant nothing to him.

It's only a spinning wheel. It'll graze you, and prickle you, and pierce you. But on and on it spins. And it has your blood and your skin, but it doesn't have you . You're the one spinning it. 

So it doesn't matter? If I get it wrong?

If it's only blood. It's only lead. It's only me.

This time, she could swear she'd heard a small chuckle in his voice. Won't it be wonderful to find out?

She watched the horizon. A nameless dump in the outskirts of a city that ate its own flesh to survive. It'd eat the arms first, and then the stomach. It'd eat itself until all that remained were the footsteps in the dirt. It's all going to shit. It's just bullets. It's just water.

Jinx pulled the trigger— 

It worked! My monkey bomb ... another shot. I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY ... and another. I WAS ONLY TRYING TO ... a laugh. Someone was laughing. Silco? No. Couldn't be. V%OL&T PLEASE ... Her? Did she really sound like...? PLEASE. 

There was a waterstream. It wasn't tranquil, like his voice. It was rushing. A whirlpool. She watched her life, spinning, and spinning. It was her, wasn't it? 

The undercity would have her heart, and her eyes, and her legs and her soul. And, in turn, she'd have its heart, the beaten up thugs lying on the side of streets, pooling blood down clogged sewers. She'd have the rats, gnawing at rotten flesh, she'd have the lead, and the iron, and the laughs, and the fights, and it would all be...

Beautiful.

It had always been her. So why run? She was an underground creature, and the night loved her. She'd been made from sketches to have the undercity pierce her skin. She'd been born to live like the damned live. 

— and the downpour devoured the sound of her laugh.

She'd been half ghost, half person since then. The person part was always the problem. Or at least she'd thought so. If she were to just vanish into thin air come midnight, what would anybody care? 

"'Suppose you're a lot sneakier than I thought," she grunted.

She was having a hard time naming the emotion taking form in her chest right now. A piece of it, a big piece, was spite . Another piece, one that seemed to belong to a different person, to someone she'd been before, sounded strangely like pride.

There had been a time where Jinx would've risen to the challenge. Found it invigorating, even. In a lifetime made of nameless goons and inconsequential bullet holes in squeaky bottom-of-the-barrel drug dealers causing... him .. trouble, a nice change of pace wouldn't have been unwelcomed. Disgruntledly so.

"Don't act so impressed," said Ekko, setting down the box of supplies he'd carried there. "Half of the time, you heard us coming".

"Ha!" She laughed, plopping down beside him. "Try all the time".

Ekko glanced at her, sideways, and that little smirk grew on his face again. Jinx watched it take form and felt her own self smirking in return. How could someone look so different, and yet so obviously the same? 

"No, I'd wager we got a few jumps on you".

Jinx stared at the amalgamation of maps stapled to the wall. Hiding places. Observation spots. Secret trails. She could just faintly remember some time in the corridors of her memory, dragging her feet through the slums, and feeling eyes on her.

"You're lucky I hear weird shit all the time," she said. "If I could know it was actual people—”.

"Sure".

"—I'd beaten your ass".

His expression faltered, only for a second. There she went. Of course Little Man had all sorts of feelings , and emotions about their fight at the bridge.

"I have evidence to the contrary, actually".

" I have evidensh to the contraury . Shut up".

Ekko simply shook his head, and started setting the gear down on the table. Night Vision goggles, mainly, but a few other interesting little quirks too. Jinx was especially interested in the little sphere metal with a winged clockwork around it. The whole thing almost looked like a spinning top toy. She sneaked a look inside the box and found there were a few more of those little guys laying around.

"What's that?".

"Um?" Ekko absentmindedly followed her gaze, and then there was a... change in his look. Softer. But also, distant. "Just somethin' I'm working on".

"I figured that much. What? Can't tell me?" She leaned a bit closer, trying to look menacing. But she was so, so tired. "Is it your super-secret murder gadget that was finally going to take me—".

"Can you not say that?".

Jinx stopped. Ekko had shut his eyes tight, for a brief moment, and she could see the muscle in his jaw working. She studied his face. 

"Sorry. I—" he stumbled. "I know you're the one who decides when it's too soon to joke about that. But I'm just... Really tired, I guess," his hands gripped the edges of the toolbox. "Maybe it's too soon for me ".  

"What?" She scoffed. "You're just ditchin' me? Sure, go right ahead," in another time, Jinx might've found the energy to push his toolbox away. Or maybe push him out of the bench. Instead, she just turned to the table, eyelids heavy. 

"What?".

"Isn't that what you're saying? Y'know, Ekko, you talk all those big words about staying, and— and, shit , and you won't. I knew you would take the first train outta looney-land, so why do I—".

Ekko covered his face with both his hands, and let out a heavy sigh, one that seemingly shook his entire body. He then turned to her. A bit close, but Jinx allowed it, staring him down. She wanted to see the look in his eyes when he told her the truth, what they both knew: Jinx was too much, and Jinx didn't belong there.

"What the hell are you talking about?".

She scoffed, again. "Deflating? Reaaal original".

He worried his lip between his teeth. There was something in his eyes. Something sorrowful, like that look Sevika would sometimes send her. Like she was seeing something Jinx couldn't — ha! Talk about irony —, as if, when she gazed upon Jinx, she saw whatever it was Jinx couldn't even find about herself.

Ekko had that expression. Like he was seeing something in her she couldn't fathom. Except he'd actually met another version of her, so...

"I'm not ready to hear jokes about you dying yet, okay?".

Something that felt incriminated like tears pricked at her eyes. "I was the one doin' the dyin'. I think I get to decide," she said, but there was no bite to it. No strength. 

"I know," he said. He was still frowning, but there was the smallest of smiles playing at his lips. Like he was finally seeing it for the horribly sordid joke it was. "That's messed up".

Jinx lowered her gaze, wanting to run away from his. And her eyes fell upon the z-drive, puller still painted hot pink. Then, Ekko's face. And, then, his eyes. 

Someone must've put a fishing line down her throat and was attempting to pull her stomach out by the mouth, because, suddenly, Jinx couldn't breath, and the whole room was spinning.

"Ji— Jinx?!".

Her hand grabbed the side of the table. The sound that came out of her could only be described as a gurgle . She gasped for air, but it seemed stuck, like her lungs were filled.

"Ekko".

"I'm here," he said, and he wasn't in front of her anymore, but at her side, one arm around her, carefully. "Can you breathe?".

She tried, but her attempt just got her more suffocated. She shook her head, violently. "I'm gonna—".

Jinx didn't see it. Could hear. Ekko pulled a nearby bucket, left there to catch the water leaking from the roof. There was just the thinnest layer of liquid inside it when Jinx bent over, just in time. She felt more than saw Ekko gathering the strands of her hair with one hand, and using the other to lightly trace a pattern on her back.

"I'm—".

"It's fine," he said. "It's all fine".

But it wasn't. It'd never be again. 

Fuck. I never was, in the first place, huh? Livin' with one foot in the grave. Shit. 

By the time Ekko put the bucket away, she had already leaned against the table, breathing easier, but her stomach was still tied in knots. Even since Doctor Shithead had pumped her veins full of shimmer, she hadn't really experienced pain like that.

Well, not physical , anyway. 

"I... died," she said, quietly. 

Ekko settled down on the floor, in front of her, staring up at Jinx. 

"Fuck," she laughed, hot tears running down her face. She brought her hands up to get rid of them, but only ended up grabbing her own head, her laugh turning louder . "Ha... Ha! I actually fucking...—" bent knees, close to her chest. Head between them. Sobbing. "What the fuck , Ekko".

"Jinx, you're here ".

"You brought me back from the dead!" She screamed, raising her head to stare him down. "Why do people keep fuckin' doing that?".

All those years, living just on the edge of staying alive. The rush. The not-knowing. If I detonate this bomb right here, will it kill me too? Come here, punch me in the face. Break a tooth. I'll bite your ear off. Let's have fun! Will it kill me? Will it kill me? Will it kill me?

Wouldn't it be wonderful to find out?

She could still feel them. The needles under her skin. Dry, scrapping dust on her bloodied lips. The feeling of someone yelling at her to surrender . The leather bound around her head. Tha pain in the back of her skull everytime she trashed around, tried to move away from the syringes. The way she had gasped for air, alone, in a dark basement. The sharp pain on her side. Broken? Vi staring at her, disgust and fear mixed in her eyes. I told you to stay away. Barrels of rifles pointed at her. Caitlyn's voice.

Caitlyn.

Hated you?

Someone stronger than her lifting her up. Her body nothing but blood and lead. The hellscape of gnarled corpses lying around them. Noxian iron, Piltovian runes. The trying. The pushing against the chains around her arms. The screeching sound of it being split from the surgical table. The stairs. The single set of stairs. One door at the end. The bunker. Alone. 

I've hated myself.

The undercity. Piltover's greatest basements. Silco. Finding him. He'd fix it . Vander's statue. The rising of the morning. The coldness of the night. Killing is a cycle.

Laughter, louder than before. Loud enough to shake her from the inside. 

"It's a cycle alright," she sobbed. 

"... What are you talking about? Jinx, I—".

Right. Ekko. Here. Living. Breathing.

"Maybe third time's the charm," she said, her voice nothing but a rasp. She breathed in, deep, and raised her eyes to meet him. "Question".

Ekko frowned, nodding. 

"Why keep saving me?".

What was it that Sevika always said about telling the truth? A lie is a coward's only weapon, and it always comes out of his ass.

"Because I want you to live," said Ekko, truthfully. 

Be honest , would Vander say. A clear conscience is always worth a broken nose. 

"And if you're going to tell me I shouldn't, then, honestly, you can shut up," he said, sitting back down on the bench. "If you're gonna be mad at me, then be mad. Won't change my mind".

"It won't last, y'know. All this savin'. There is always something. I don't..." she closed her eyes, pressing down on her temples. "Maybe I should've just been gone already".

She felt the lightest of touches against her forehead. With eyes open, she watched Ekko carefully brush back the strands of hair, glued to the skin due to the cold sweat.

"Aren’t you the one who decides that?".

Night fell on them. Dinner was saved, but Jinx chose to skip it. She hid in the forgeroom, still trying to figure out Ekko's notes, maps, and just everything. Vyper, the woman from before, came to pick her up. Jinx felt uneasy around her. She tried to keep it hidden, but Jinx could feel her stare upon her, every other moment. It wasn't the stare she got from the other Firelights. It was...

Concerned.

Ugh.

Ekko and his tall buddy were relaying some information to the other Firelights. Jinx scraped the palm of her hand with her nail until it broke skin. "Where are the brats, by the way?".

Vyper took a moment to understand her. "You mean the children? They're mostly cleaning up for sleep. Why?".

Jinx felt that same hand wrapping around her throat. "Nothin'. Just don't wanna bump into any snotty little—".

"Ugh," said one of the Firelights, upon laying eyes on her. Their grunt was muffled by the mask. "Ekko, c'mon ".

"She's faced the Noxians before," Scar intervened. 

Jinx felt her insides being squished together again. Flashes of blue flooded her mind. A smile. No . No. Don't . There's a tree, and the grass under your feet is green, and there are people talking to you. 

"I wouldn't say faced ," she replied, joining them, but standing a bit closer to Ekko. 

"Then what good are you? This is a recon mission to gather information on the troops" It's the one who had told her to find a hole in a wall to crawl into. Great . 

"They killed my dad. I can probably tell you when they're feeling extra muder-y".

She could see at least half a dozen pairs of eyes double in size, even behind their masks. Heavy silence fell upon them. Good , she thought, her nail digging deeper. Now we all feel like shit.

Scar turned to her. She couldn't see anything past his mask, but she picked up on his breath getting quicker. "It's rude. I know. But I need to—".

"Vander," she spits out, and then bites down on her tongue until it tastes like iron. "Whatever was left of him, anyway".

Scar nods. Perplexed, obviously, but unwilling to press her further. "I'm sorry".

"Yeah, yeah. Maybe when this is all said and done I'll fund the city's first pet cemetery for him".

"Jinx!" calls one of the Firelights.

"Do you want a bullet in your knee?".

They all grow tense at that. Ekko places an outstretched hand between them and Jinx. "Guys. She's dealing with it the way she can. We've all been there".

"How many because of her?".

"Why? Was your papa some rundown dealer who couldn't pay his quota?".

Jinx is faster than any of them. The boy moves so slow it's almost comical.  He grabs his staff and lunges .

"Enough!" Screams Ekko, through the mask. A smudge of pink on his glove. The boy freezes in place, still grunting. "We agreed she'd help, and she's the only one who actually dealt with a Noxian before". 

There are murmurs, but Ekko leadership goes unquestioned. Damn . Jinx feels her heartbeat slow down. From the corner of her eye, she sees where her nail is drenched in blood. She was so eager to curl her hand into a fist and break that boy's stupid mask. Let him try and grab her neck, roll around with him attempting to knee her ribs. She wanted it to hurt .

"This is for you," said Ekko, giving her something wrapped in cloth.

What the hell?

"She's not getting a Firelight mask!".

"She isn't! It's a standard one. I had it lying around from before we personalized ours," Ekko's voice is on the edge of tearing from exhaustion. "And you'll need a cloak. Your hair is like an enforcer siren".

"Low blow, Little Man".

The mask in her hand feels heavy. It's made from white wood, lined with red carvings. It just looks like a human face, but she sees the edges of where someone's whittling might've gone wrong. 

There's a tightness to her chest.

She's seen all of them unmasked, now, but somehow, this feels different. She's been waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Ekko to ask her — how long did you know?

Jinx’s coward's weapon is an empty bullet. She can almost hear herself saying. Always. You're shit at Hide'n'Seek, Little Man.

When he'd put on that mask, when he'd faced her on the rooftop of that warehouse, so many years ago. Blemished sky above them and green fog at their feet. The salty taste of sweat on her lips, from an afternoon of chasing down some dickhead who was trying to smuggle shimmer topside on his own name. She'd seen Ekko, and, for a moment, she'd feared.

Come with me , he'd say again, I'll protect you.

But her nails were soiled with dried blood. She smelled of soot and cobalt. Her new weapon was so heavy . She couldn't. There was no place for someone like her in that world of his.

Ask me, she'd hoped. Ask me, anyway. Please.

But he'd stood there, and she'd realized that mask hid his eyes. "Burn the cargo," he said.

They left just a little bit after that. Jinx had expected an eventful trip to Piltover's harbor, cloaked in the darkness of night. No one had told her she'd be riding shotgun . 

"All this so he doesn't look like a dum-dum?" she said, clinging to one of Scar's legs, her own tethering dangerously out of the hoverboard. "You don't even like me!".

They took the route through the air ducts. Jinx recognized the trail. Wasn't so different from the one she had taken to steal the hex gem. Except .

"What the...?".

Scar had stopped. Mid-air vent. He slowly lowered his hoverboard, until it was actually unmoving, and resting on the concrete. She realizes a handful of other Firelights had done the same.

"No chance of this being a bathroom break?".

Scar waited for her to get down from the hoverboard before doing so himself. "It has to recharge".

"But the others kept going," she said, pointing to the exit. "Including your guy".

He nodded. "Don't have enough resources to build all our boards the same. Some are better than others. This one," he tapped the board he was sitting on top of. "Can't adapt directly to topside air. Has to sit in it for a while. Or we'll fall".

"Great. I get stuck with the discount aisle hoverboard," she said, blowing a strand of hair out of her face. Then: "It doesn't make sense. How come his right hand gets the hand-me-downs?".

Scar considered her words for a moment. "I didn't".

Jinx frowned. "Oh, c'mon . You switched ? We could be all the way to the shore by now!".

"The others will wait".

A beat of silence. "Why?".

Scar looked down at his hands. Small white lines of scars ran over everywhere she could see on him, hidden by the fur. "I have a child," he said, simply. "His father has to make it back home".

Jinx could feel her blood grow cold. "So the person you switched with can just splash on the pavement and bye-bye?".

Scar only stared at her, so Jinx got up to her feet and went to the edge of the vent, feet dangling in the air. Not long after, she heard footsteps.

"Take a hint already".

He sat down beside her. "Why do you fight, Jinx?".

"Oh, brother".

He chuckled. "Zaun made you a symbol. That's not you. Not entirely. But you fight, anyway," a pause. He stared down the abyss with her. "Why?".

"What else is there?" She scoffed. "Isn't that just us? Crawling through the mud until someone puts a bullet on our heads?".

"That's life for you?".

"I'll tell you what life is to me, batboy. It's a sinkhole. That what you wanted to hear?".

"So why fight?".

"Because I'm good at it. Because when I shoot people, they die. It's the one thing that makes sense". 

"So life is just fighting, and killing, and dying?".

Jinx sighed. "No getting out of lesson time with you, huh, guru? Alright," she positioned her hands a bit behind her body, and threw her weight on them, looking up. "My old bastard — the one you hate, not the other one — used to say life is just what you're willing to take to live it".

"To take?".

"Topside live the lives they live because they take from us ," she shrugged. "And then we're left to smash each other's heads with rocks, fighting for the last knife in the mud".

"What happens when you get there?'" He asked. "The knife is in your hands. What now?".

The answer was at the tip of the tongue. Survival of the cruelest. "Lemme guess, you'd throw the knife away and just give everyone a big ol' hug?".

"No," he said, simply. Jinx stared at him. "I'm from the undercity, too. Topside thinks we're animals. But wanting to survive... Isn't that just human? I want us not to fight," and there was an emphasis on the us , that made Jinx look away. "But I want to live, too".

Jinx grunted. "Then what was this all about, bats?".

"All of this is just war. It's been war before we were born," he says. "But it's not my life . My life is back home. When my son runs to me. It's when I see Vyper. When I feel her belly," he got up, staring at the abyss one last time. "My life is more than just the running towards the knife".

Perched atop a crane, Jinx watched the Noxian crewmen unload container after container from their warships.

"Yup," she said, popping the p . "That's death. And boom, look over there: death again".

Ekko adjusted the zoom on his goggles. "You think it's weapons?".

"Could be," she shrugged. "But the Bad Lady had control over the Pilties' forges for months while you were dimension-hopping. I'd bet she forged plenty of those iron sticks right here ".

Ekko pushed up his goggles. Which kind of looked ridiculous with the mask. The other Firelights were hiding about, cloaked in the darkness. "So, second guess?".

Jinx plopped down sitting on the crane's arm, which made it shake lightly. Ekko didn't flinch. "Food. Clothes. But mostly food".

"Food?" He sounded uncertain.

"I don't think you want to hear my logic, Little Man".

"Try me".

She sighed. "Silco always said the food is the first thing to run out. And people are freaks when they're hungry. Whenever one of the chem-duds got late on his quota, or wanted to play king of the castle, he'd attack the food supplies first. Shimmer can numb the pain for a while, but if you got a factory full of starving shimmered-up workers, if they don't get lunch..."

"You become lunch. Right," Ekko shook his head. "Assuming you know what you're talking about, they're preparing for a long stay".

"Makes sense," said Scar. "They got the numbers. And the shores. They can bottleneck us until we run out of supplies".

"By us you mean the undercity ".

Scar shook his head. "The Talis boy closed the hexgates. Piltover is not receiving supplies from other nations, either". 

"What? You're thinking his We're All This Together speech was for real?".

"He did seem disturbed".

"Pilties always look like they have somethin' up their asses".

Ekko nodded. " We can't survive a siege. Piltover will struggle, but we'll starve . So our only option is meeting them on the battleground".

Jinx blew a raspberry. "Hear that? Wrong! Incorrect! Buzzer!" she said. "I already told you: they outnumber us one-to-eight-thousand".

"We have hextech!".

" Piltover has hextech," corrected Scar.

"We have shimmer?" offered Jinx.

" You have shimmer".

"Right".

"We have fighters," said Ekko.

"You mean half-assed goons and criminals Piltover could crush beneath a boot like a Firelight bug? No offense".

"Enough for them to ask us to fight, no?" He looked at Scar, who nodded. 

"But they're terrified. The invasion took a toll on the entire undercity".

Ekko was silent for a moment. Jinx could hear the unspoken guilt in there. "You weren't here. You can't go that far back in time and fix it," she said, resting her back against the crane pillar. "C'mon, idea guy?".

"Okay. Zaunites are terrified, but that's only because they don't think we stand a chance".

"We don't".

"They spent months under Noxian aggression," said Scar. "We're all familiar with what going up against them gets us".

"But they pulled most of their troops out of the undercity, right?".

Scar and Jinx shared a look. "'Suppose," she said. "I guess they need even more brainless muscle to take on the pilties".

"We don't need to defeat the Noxians yet ," Jinx could hear the almost smile in his voice. "We just have to show our people we can face them".

"Alright. Forgetting the fact that we actually can't ," said Jinx. "How would you do that?".

"Medarda called most of her troops back up. But she wouldn't just leave the undercity as a blindspot. How many Noxian patrol posts were there?".

"Around eleven," said Scar. "I counted".

"I didn't, but Sevika had a map of 'em somewhere".

"Probably half of those are still functioning. Now that we're declared enemies, the Noxians in the undercity are considered spies. We'll hit their remaining bases, fast. Make a show of it. If the other zaunites see the patrol brutes can be dealt with, they'll join".

"That easy?".

"No, it will be an actual nightmare. But we can pull it off".

"Alright. But revenge against Noxians will only cover about half the idiots down there. You'll get the drunks and the worm heads, but what about the factory workers? What about the grandmas , Ekko?".

He shook his head, and forcefully dragged Jinx's goggles, which she had refused to wear, down, to cover her eyes. 

"If we defeat the Noxians, who gets all that food?".

Jinx smirked. Alright . Now Ekko was sounding a bit less delusional. She got a good look at the containers. There were probably a lot of clothes there as well. Even the stuff used to make weapons or bombs could be turned into goods. Not that she had any interest in it — the bombs were just better by default —, but she knew a couple hundred people who'd literally kill to get their hands into a bottle or two of saline solution. Or actual, clean bandages. 

She could imagine it now — every lowlife criminal in Zaun running up turned-over Noxian ships to fish items like they were summer shopping. The chaos! It was so vivid in her eyes, she could swear the containers were becoming clearer...—

Like a pin needle on a metal tray.

One second, she'd been perfectly perched, overlooking the harbor. The next, the wind was howling against her body, and the ground came ever closer. Even through her shock, she tried to flail, move her arms, but—

Her body was locked. Her muscles, unresponsive.

The world turned black just a second before Ekko's horrified scream:

"JINX!"

"... Even feeding her?".

"We don't actually know that," said a familiar voice. 

"Sounds like 'em" the first voice scoffed.

First grey, then dark brown, and, finally, oily yellow, from lamps. Jinx couldn't tell if it was the smell of the oil burning or her actual body, but she felt sticky. And what the actual hell was she laying down on? 

Fur? Fur?!

Someone was pressing something hot and dampy against her forehead and she needed it gone .

Her arm went up to slap the hand away, but something caught her wrist. "Watch it," said Scar, voice almost a rumble.

Jinx turned to the side to see Vyper, in all her tattoos and side buzz, kneeling beside her. A bowl of hot water to the side and a small cloth in hand. 

"... What?".

Her voice sounded hoarse even to her own ears. 

"You're gonna throw a fit over this," said Vyper. "But I need you to open up".

She had put the towel aside to grab a small light, which she directed towards Jinx's face. "Ugh!".

"Ahhhh".

"Fuck you—".

"Jinx".

"I'm not doing that," she said, furrowing. "What the fuck happened? Why am I lying on your last year's shedding?".

Scar shook his head. He was sitting on a chair, over the back, watching her carefully. "When was the last time you ate something, Jinx?".

Her heartbeat spiked. Burnt orange peels, half eaten fruits left around. I'm not sure if things are clear or blurry.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Her throat closed up. "Who fuckin' cares". 

"Your body does," said Vyper. "You fainted".

"No, I didn't".

"You fell from a four storeys tall crane".

Jinx stared at her, unbelieving. "Sure".

The door creaked open. Ekko walked in, still talking to someone outside. When he closed the door behind him, she noticed he had a slight delay on his right arm. He stood by the door, staring at her from above. His expression was neutral, but his lips were trembling.

"So, did I sleep through the entire Invasion and we're all free now?".

Silence.

"I didn't die, okay? And it—" her words died down. 

Go away, Ekko . Her, falling down. Unresponsive. I'm not ready to joke about it yet. 

"It wasn't on purpose . I fainted ".

"Your body's been running on nothing but shimmer for..." Vyper shared a look with Scar. "Four days, now? Since you arrived? That is, if you were eating before".

"People survive longer than that," she said, distracted. She was still looking at Ekko. Still standing by the door. 

"People whose blood isn't burning from the inside. As far as I can tell, the shimmer in your body activates involuntarily. Which saved you. But it used just about every reserve of energy it could find," she sighed. "Your head isn't cracked open anymore, but you're literally starved".

"I don't feel starved".

"Do you feel the eight stitches I've sutured on the back of your spine? The four on your hips?".

"Alright, I get it".

"I don't think you do. Your body is numbing ou t your pain".

"Can't you just give me something to eat already?".

"I can't. You can't digest anything right now. We're almost out of IV drips, too. You'll drink some water. Then I'll make you soup. It's going to be horrible and it will taste like wood. But you'll eat".

"Sure".

Vyper grabbed her arm. "My husband raided an Enforcer warehouse to get you medicine," she said, calmy, but Jinx recognized a threat when she heard one. "You'll eat spontaneously, or I'll make you eat". 

"Funny how you wouldn't say that if I wasn't bedridden". 

She gave her a fake-smile. "Eat better, then".

Jinx wanted to argue, but she couldn't stop thinking about when Ekko would finally say something . 

"Also, I didn't bathe you before doing your stitches, because Ekko here said you'd hate it. So I only cleaned around the wounds with antiseptic and did the best I could, but you should take a shower".

Scar contributed, wrinkling his nose: "You stink".

"Thanks".

"I can't in good conscience say you can shower by yourself. The chance of you slipping is—"

"Don't even finish that. Noone's hopping in that water with me".

Vyper sighed. "I'm not volunteering, Jinx. I'm seven months pregnant. But you'll need—".

"Toots, I get that you're trying to be nice to me, but it ain't happening, okay?".

"I'll at least put a guard. Outside. Okay? Just in case".

"Oh yeah, look I'm super into having someone who wants to murder me waiting outside my bath".

Ekko's sigh broke the argument. "I'll wait".

Vyper sent her an annoyed look, and Jinx could see the woman had bags under eyes. Seven months pregnant and sewing wounds close. Maybe Jinx could make her life just a bit easier.

"Fine".

Ekko brought her crutches. "I don't need those".

"You don't know that".

"I'm fine".

"Get up, then".

"I will".

But the moment she pressed her palms on the floor, trying to push herself off, something felt... heavy . She tried again. Desperation clawed at her heart. She turned to Ekko. "I am not— Am I—".

"Vyper doesn't believe so," he said, crouching beside her. "When you first fell, your body wouldn't respond at all. Pinching, or tickling. Nothing. A day later you were moving your toes in your sleep. Try it".

She did. The amount of relief that washed over her felt almost like too much. 

She'd wanted nothing but for it all to end, just a few days ago. How could she be so relieved it hadn't?

"And, today, you woke up. Vyper thinks the shimmer is healing your body faster than your muscles can actually keep up with, so you're still weak. She says that in five days you'll probably be fine".

"Damn. Some people back home would kill for this blood".

"Don't say that outloud. Someone might actually come here and try to, I don't know, syphon you," he chuckled.

The sound warmed her chest. He sounded calm. Collected. Nothing like his scream. 

"Okay, now help me get up, Boy Savior".

Even as they walked towards the baths, she could feel herself growing better. Each step safer than the previous. Some of the Firelights stared.

"This is the clearer shot they'll ever get of me, and they can't even try. That's mean".

"Please, shut up".

Ekko walked in with her, to show where everything was. The baths in question were three big bathtubs right in the center, and shower stalls lined on the walls, divided by curtains. 

"So does the shower water go into the plants, or is it the other way around?".

"Guess you'll have to find out"

"Which one am I allowed to take?".

"Getting up will be a hassle, but the bath is safer".

"Alright. Thanks, Ek—" she reached to touch his arm, and then it happened.

He flinched .

"Ekko?".

"It's fine, I'm— I am fine," he said, quickly, setting down her tower and a clean change of clothes by the edge of the bathtub. "I'll be outside".

Jinx stood there for a few good seconds, hearing his hurried steps, and the sound of the door closing. Flinched . She'd noticed, of course. The fact she hadn't fallen head-first into the ground. The pain in his arm. The fact she was alive .

The only one with a hoverboard fast enough to catch before her skull was split open. He'd more likely than not outstretched his arms, catching her head just in time. She had taken the full damage on her spine and her hips. He'd cushioned her head with his arm. Tore a muscle, more likely. Two days of pain. Another one of hiding it in front of her.

She submerged half her body under the clean water. Vyper had taken out the bandages, but she was still in her underwear. In case she did slip and Ekko had to run inside. The water was warm against the sutures. Nothing like what it'd felt, every time she'd hurt her body over the past months. It was always cold and numb . A finger blasted off and she hadn't even got to mourn its blood.

This way, it almost felt like her body was... Healing , like it had, before.

Before .

She sank a bit more. She'd let Ekko talk her out of... that , but the pain lingered. He was still losing her. Just a bit of a time. And, if she stopped to think about it — flinched, away from her — she was losing him , too.

How much pain could she truly cause one person before it all became too much? Not for lack of loyalty, but because the suffering took so much space, it couldn't afford the love?

A bit more. The water at her chin, now.

Had she ever made anyone happy? Truly? Not Vander. Murdered and murdered again. A man and then a beast. Perhaps not unlike herself. Would he appreciate the comparison? Find comfort in being like his daughter, like she did? Wasn't she a girl, and then a monster?

Could Vander love her, if her love had killed him?

Not Silco. Blood, water, iron, and money. A lifetime of helping him medicate. What would he say now? His little girl, cursed and saved by her own venomous blood? His parting gift to her. He, who had built the world and given her the crown, and now rested at the bottom of a river. What had she given him, but grief?

Certainly not her brothers. Mylo. Claggor. She could think of their names now. Could picture their faces. Claggor was always sweet, but would Mylo have ever grown to love her? Like Vi did?

Vi. Vi would be fine, because Vi would live without her. 

She had to cling to that. Her sister would live, and grow old, and have pastries, and sleep until noon. She'd win boxing matches for fun and feel the sunlight on her face, every single day, for the rest of her life. Jinx just had to keep her from dying in that war. Just...

But had Vi ever been happy — or was she set to be happy because Jinx was no more?

Was she happy? She’d asked Ekko. Did she make other people happy? Perhaps she was the flipside of the coin of Powder's life. Perhaps that girl got to keep her dads, and her family, and have everything around her flourish, because Jinx lived a life where everything she touched turned to dust.

Did Powder play with droids? Against Claggor? Did she dye her hair? Play with make-up? Fill out a bathtub and watch the water turn blue whenever she dipped her head...

No. Why would Powder need to dye her hair? Why would her water turn blue?

Why would—

"Argh!" She slipped. Did she? There was water inside her mouth. She thrashed around. Her fist hit the porcelain. She could barely hear Ekko rushing inside.

No. Don't come. She thought. Ant, yet. But I don’t want to die. 

I'll hurt you again. The only friend I had. She turned around enough to be able to throw her upper body outside the bathtub, breathing hard. No. Not the only friend. 

"Jinx!" He called. And in half a second she was being pulled out of the water in one single motion, his hand dyed pink from pulling the z-drive one too many times.

"My head..."

"What is it?" He looked around, distraught, but trying to stay calm. "Did the stitches come loose—".

Jinx pressed her forehead against his shoulder. Don't flinch. Please. 

He didn't.

"Her face. I can't...".

He blinked at the suture that came around the side of her head. "Did you... Did you forget someone's face?". 

"No," she sobbed. "I've tried so hard. But it's the only thing I can't do," she pulled away from him. Ekko put one hand atop of hers, firm, and assuring.

"Tell me".

"Everywhere I look, It's like she's not even gone— it’s all I can think about. She's all I can see".

Isha.