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The tree was looking beautiful. It always did in their family. From precious glass and crystal ornaments hanging delicately on the branches, to the infinitely more precious handmade baubles - misshapen and chunky but made with love by Jackson and Kimberly - and the lights that glistened from the branches, waiting to fill the room with their glow. They hung on the deep green fir tree, the scent of the needles already filling the room with their distinctive perfume.
Hawk stood back, catching the warmth from the roaring fireplace, watching his family surround the Christmas tree. Kimberly stood on a little footstool, reaching up on to her tiptoes to hang a small clay ornament on her chosen branch. Jackson - or the little of his son that Hawk could see - giggled and spun, wrapping himself further and further into the garland tinsel. His face shone with happiness, stray strands of silver and gold caught in his dark hair. Near enough to help should he need it, Lucy was sorting through their remaining ornaments, her tuneful voice humming along to the Christmas record she'd put on for accompaniment.
Watching Kimberly as closely as Lucy pretended not to watch Jackson (it was a delicate balance with their most independent child), Hawk knew the right moment to sweep in. Just as Kimberly began to topple forward, stretching too far on her feet, Hawk caught her up in his arms, pressing a noisy kiss to her cheek and making her bright laugh ring out in the room.
"Daddy!" Kimberly cheered, settling back into his chest the way she always had - so comfortable and safe in his arms.
"I've got you, Kimmy," Hawk promised softly. And he meant it just as much now as he always would.
He held her steady as Kimberly settled the ornament on a slightly higher branch. They both stood there, his daughter happy in his arms, admiring the way the lumpy clay star (one of his daughter's first projects) rested amongst the green needles.
Glittering light caught Hawk's eye as he bent down to set Kimberly gently back on her feet. Hair every which way, Jackson was tinsel garland free, the garlands held in Lucy's hand.
Lucy, who was watching them with a soft smile, the cares of their strained marriage wiped away. This was one of the only times of the year they never fought, determined to keep the magic of Christmas alive for their children. Christmas was for them, the innocence of their imaginations and pure belief in flying reindeer and a man who delivered toys for them in exchange for good behavior and milk and cookies.
Kimberly ran off to join her brother by the boxes that once held the decorations, both peering into their depths in case they'd missed anything to go on the tree.
With their children busy digging through the tissue paper and packing, Lucy took her chance. She handed Hawk the first tinsel garland, her fingers brushing against his own as they parted. Starting at the top, Hawk began to wind the tinsel around the tree, making sure not to obscure any ornaments or any of the lights. When it got far enough down the tree that Lucy could comfortably reach, Hawk handed the tinsel to back to his wife. Lucy's deft touch with decorating brought the tree to life in a way that Hawk never managed. Under her hand, the silver and gold garlands blended together, creating a harmony with the multicolored ornaments only complemented even more.
To some people, it might look chaotic, especially with no rhyme nor reason to the placement of the ornaments, save whatever his children (or Hawk and Lucy) thought would look best wherever they placed them. But to them, it was perfect. Each element distinct and individual, but put together to make something uniquely wonderful. Just like their little family.
(It was Christmas, Hawk allowed himself to be a little fanciful like that - if only at this time of year.)
When the very end of the last garland of tinsel had been tucked securely onto it's branch, Lucy came to stand next to Hawk. The light scent of her perfume filtered into his nose, comfortable and familiar as their Christmas tradition. She leaned into his side for just a moment, both of them quietly admiring the almost finished tree. Hawk wrapped his arms around her waist for a moment more, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. A silent reminder that, though he wasn't in love with her, he would always love her - even if he knew that wasn't enough of what she deserved.
Lucy smiled up at him, letting them both linger in that peaceful moment while their children giggled and danced around the tree, admiring the sparkling beauty of it from all angles.
"Okay, munchkins," Lucy called, stepping away from Hawk with only a hint of reluctance in her eyes. "It's almost time for cookies and cocoa."
And bed, although that last part went unacknowledged in case it led to a mutiny as bedtime often did at Christmastime in their household.
Jackson and Kimberly zoomed around the other side of the tree, eyes lit up at the thought of the sweet treat they'd more than earned.
"Cookies and cocoa!" Jackson cheered, Kimberly echoing his sentiments with a loud cheer.
"Not so fast, kiddo," Hawk said, catching Jackson before he could zip past Hawk and make for the kitchen. "Mom said almost."
Hawk had a front row seat to the pout spreading over Jackson's face. "But Dad-"
"It's time for the angel," Hawk reminded him, Jackson's pout transforming into the sunny grin Hawk saw too little of.
Jackson scrambled off to gather the tree topper from Hawk's chair, holding it protectively to his chest. He scampered up to Hawk, looking at him that way he always used to.
"Ready, little star?"
His son nodded eagerly, lifting his arms a little. Jackson was getting a little too big to be swung onto Hawk's shoulders, but Hawk didn't mind. As long as they could do this, Hawk would - and if a little ache in his muscles was the price to pay for it, then Hawk would pay it gladly.
His weight was reassuring, as grounding as the hand Jackson still (always had) pressed into his hair for stability.
The walk to the tree was short, but Hawk took his time. Treasuring every rare moment with his son so close to him. Hoping, maybe, that when Jackson was his age and if he had children of his own, he might look back at these moments and realise Hawk had tried. That he might not know how to love him, but he did very much. More than he knew how to put in words.
Hawk stroked his thumb over Jackson's leg, Jackson's hold on his hair tightening - not painfully but more to say that Jackson was there.
When they were back in front of the tree - in the perfect place for the angel to watch over them all holiday, Hawk stood still. He looked up, watching Jackson lean forward enough to settle the angel over the topmost branch. Jackson's hand brushed over the angel's wings - an instinctive gesture Hawk had made once years before and Jackson had made every year since.
His hands returned to Hawk's head, his baby boy sliding off Hawks back when he crouched low enough for him.
Jackson threw his arms around Hawk, hugging him tight for a fleeting second. Then, he dashed over to Lucy, grabbing her hand and tugging her insistently into the kitchen for the promised cookies and cocoa.
Kimberly waited for Hawk, snuggling into him when he picked her up. They followed Jackson and Lucy's voices into the kitchen - the smell of cocoa and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies filling the room.
Sweet and perfect, the best start to a family Christmas.