Work Text:
Katsuki knew Eijirou was trying to pretend that he hadn't seen or heard anything, but he was acting weird —more than usual, at least— around Bakugou, and he was getting on his nerves. It was like he tip-toed all over their apartment every time Katsuki was on his sight. And he knew Kirishima, of course he was the brightest and nicest guy in the entire world, though, that had never stopped him from teasing his best friend or standing up to him whenever Katsuki acted like a jerk.
However, something had change between them since Eijirou had witnessed Izuku rejecting Kacchan's offer to work together as Pro Heroes, something they had always said they will do someday.
Kirishima was acting too nice. And Katsuki hated it.
He didn't laugh at Bakugou's old pajamas when Katsuki shuffled out of his room that morning. He cooked breakfast, or at least tried to. He even made random comments on the news about how amazing Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight was that week, even if they both knew that Red Riot was way more popular and impressive than him.
"Shitty Hair, you're pissing me off with the shitty pity. I don't need it, and I don't want it." Bakugou practically spat the words out, along with a couple of crumbs from the toasted bread his best friend had made him for breakfast.
"I'm not—"
"Yes, you are." Katsuki didn't even let Eijirou finish because he already knew what was coming. Kirishima would play dumb and pretend he wasn't trying to make him feel better. He had been doing that for the past eight years, always trying to protect Bakugou from his own feelings. "You've been so condescending since Izuku rejected me. I mean, my offer. Since he rejected my offer. And I hate it."
"I just... I don't want you to feel off about it. I mean, you have a lot of great things in your life, Bakubro, but you look so..." Katsuki could see Eijirou struggling to say what he was really thinking, and that only annoyed him more.
"So, what? Say it."
"Pathetic." Eijirou shrugged and looked quite embarrassed while saying that, even if Katsuki thought that he was the only one that had to feel that way. "I'm sorry, I don't want to sound rude, and I definitely wasn't trying to making you mad, but I don't know what else to do! You keep moping around our apartment in those old ugly pajamas, pretending that you're okay and lying about your real feelings and I have no idea what I should do to help you!"
"First of all, it's not your problem if I'm moping around. Second, you don't have to help me because I don't need help." Maybe Eijirou was trying not to be rude, but Bakugou was. He couldn't help it, even after all the years he'd worked on himself he still had that attitude and the habit of hiding his sorrow behind a mask of anger.
The more he was hurt, the more anger he pretended to feel. That was Katsuki Bakugou.
Sometimes, he hated himself for that.
"You keep saying that but you're wrong!" Eijirou lost the soft tone he had maintained with Bakugou all week. "We're living together now, man. If you have a problem, I have a problem. If you don't want to clean because you feel too low, I'll do it. If you cry while we are eating dinner, I have to watch, even if you're pretending that you aren't crying. Don't you get it? You're not acting like yourself!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that I was such a problem for you!" Katsuki answer, ironically.
"That's not what I'm saying, and you know it." Of course he knew, because Bakugou was sure that Kirishima would never say those things to hurt him. Besides, he had to admit that the only reason this awkward conversation happened was his own temper. "I know you're sad. And yeah, you won't admit it, I get it. I've known you long enough to know that." Eijirou sighed, and Katsuki suddenly felt guilty enough to not interrupt him. "But you need to find yourself again, Bakugou. You've been obsessed with making everything work for Izuku, and that's amazing, for real. But you forgot about your own goals, and I thought everything would be okay eventually, but you're acting like your life has no meaning anymore, and it's painful to watch."
Katsuki felt nauseous at Eijirou's words. He had never seen his best friend talk that seriously before, at least not to him, and he discovered that he didn't like it at all. He almost missed condescending Kirishima, even noisy and annoying Kirishima.
But he was right. Bakugou was pathetic. Not just last week. He had been pathetic for years. Maybe his entire life. Why hadn't anyone told him that before?
"Say something, you're making me feel guilty" Eijirou said.
"You don't have to, you're right. I'm pathetic."
"Bakubro, I didn't want to—"
"You didn't hurt my feelings, you dumbass." Bakugou smiled, barely, but he did it anyway. "I know that right now you think that I'm some kind of crybaby who mopes around in old amazing pajamas, but that doesn't mean you're going to make me cry just by speaking your mind about me."
"I don't think that." Kirishima answered softly. "I would never think those pajamas are amazing."
Bakugou couldn't help but smile at his friend making fun of him again. He didn't realize he liked fighting with him as a joke over stupid little things like those old pajamas.
Kirishima's laugh suddenly made the apartment feel more like a home and not just a couple of walls that kept him caged. Bakugou thought that he wasn't able to enjoy the new house and the roommate experience with his best friend because he hadn’t adjusted to the place yet, but that morning he understood, the place wasn't the problem, and the company wasn't either. It was him, and his incapability to change, adapt, and accept that sometimes, things don't go according to plan.
But he had a home, a burned toast for breakfast and the job he had always dreamed of.
Izuku might not be by his side all the time, but he kept offering him his friendship, so it wasn’t that bad.
And he had his best friend who always stood right next to him.
He wasn't that pathetic after all.
Jirou took a sip of her beer before she finally decided to give her opinion about all the drama Kirishima was talking about.
"Dude, you're pathetic."
"Babe, don't say that!" Kaminari exclaimed. "Bro, you're not pathetic at all."
"Yes, he is. It's okay Kirishima, we love you anyway, but you're pathetic."
"I already know that, but thank you for the reminder" Eijirou answered. He couldn't feel offended by his friend's words. After all, he'd thought exactly like her for years. He felt pathetic, and he knew everyone believed the same.
Everyone, except Bakugou. Because he didn’t realize. How could he? He didn't even look at him. He was too focused on Izuku to notice him.
"Don't get me wrong," she said. "I get you. Bakugou's your best friend, and he's also kinda weird and unpredictable sometimes. And you live with him now, so you see him every day. And, of course, he's hot."
"Hey!"
"Not as hot as you, honey." Jirou placed a kiss on her boyfriend's forehead before continuing. "But I thought we were over all this. I mean, why would you move in with Mr. Weirdly Obsessed With Deku if you still have feelings for him? Didn't you get over your silly high school crush? You liked him in secret all these years?"
"There's nothing wrong if you did, bro, I got you."
Jirou softly laughed at her boyfriend's words. Of course he understood Kirishima. He had been head over heels for Jirou since the first year at UA, and it took him years to confess, even though everyone, including her, already knew. A couple of drinks and a lot of supportive words for his friends —if we can call "stop being a whining little bitch and tell her already" supportive— gave him the courage he needed, and he did it the night of the prom.
They'd been playing for years after that. Everyone knew they were a couple, they even acted like one when they felt comfortable enough, but they just like to pretend nothing happens sometimes for fun. No one else get it except for them. And maybe that's what love means.
Kirishima remembered the night of the prom, watching them from behind a window with all his excited friends, with Bakugou's arm around his shoulder, muttering about how much time Denki had wasted. He looked frustrated, and Eijirou knew that Katsuki was reflecting on his friend because he was mad at himself for not telling Izuku that he was in love with him.
Kirishima also remembered feeling jealous. Of Denki, because he was brave enough to confess. Of Jirou, because the guy she loved, loved her back. Of Izuku, because Bakugou was always thinking of him.
"I didn't like him all these years" he answered. "I decided that I didn't like him anymore when we finished school. I knew he would never feel the same way about me, and I moved on after that. I never thought I would catch feelings for him again." The couple exchanged a worried glance while listening to their frustrated friend. "I mean, Bakugou and I spent a lot of time together for years, I didn't believe that living together would change anything. And it didn't! At least not until Izuku rejected him, and he became so lame, and I started to... I don't know what I did, I just want to see him happy again. But now we've been glued to each other for the last four weeks, and something changed. And I don't know what to do!"
"Don't you think that maybe, just maybe, you're overthinking unnecessarily?" Denki filled his friend's glass with beer again because he was sure the conversation wouldn't be easy for him. "I think you're making a drama out of something that can be solved by communicating. I mean, Bakugou is your friend, and he knows what it feels like to be in love with a friend. Talk to him, he will understand. I know you want to help him. Actually, we all want to see him being the old Bakubro who always plays to win and brags about being the best at everything, even if he's quite annoying. But that doesn't mean you have to put yourself and your feelings in the front line just for him. If this is hurting you, then cut it."
"I agree" Jirou nodded. "You're feeling confused right now and you need time to clear your mind and your heart. Bakugou will understand. And if he doesn't, then he's a dick, and you deserve a better friend."
"I don't want better. I want him" Kirishima muttered. "Or at least I want to stop wanting him. If that makes sense."
"Dude, Jirou is right, you are a little pathetic." The three of them laughed at the comment, as if it was a joke, because it was, at least for Denki and Jirou. But for Eijirou, it was the truth.
"I will ask Mina or Sero for help next time."
Bakugou didn't realize how much time he spent with Eijirou before he decided to fly to the other side of the world for some work with an American company that was trying to convince him to publish with them. Kirishima always rejected it, but something had changed in the guy the last two weeks, at least that's what Bakugou perceived. Before Izuku's rejection and the fact that everyone saw how he and Ochako started to date, Kirishima had become inseparable from Bakugou. He was supportive in all possible ways, and Katsuki felt really grateful, even if sometimes he didn't know how to show it.
But those last weeks before Kirishima's flight, Bakugou felt a little distance. Almost like Eijirou was trying to push him away with the same strength that he had used for keeping him close before. Not just for the past months, after what happened with Izuku, but for all the years of their friendship.
Katsuki watched the sunset from the ceiling of the UA. He liked that place since he was a student, and even as an adult, sometimes he enjoyed spending time on that roof after work. He used to do it by himself, but lately, Kirishima started to hang out with him there. At least before he decided that he was too busy to do it.
The young hero felt confused by his best friend's attitude, but most of all, by his own reaction. Since when had he become so dependent on him? Was it the effect of living together?
"Kacchan" Izuku called. Katsuki felt his heart skipping a beat after hearing that soft and familiar voice calling his name. They didn't saw each other more than four or five times since what happened, and Bakugou had always promised himself that he wouldn't react to Izuku's voice the next time he saw him. But he kept getting chills just by his presence.
"Izuku, hi" he answered. "Long time no see. You still working? It's late."
"I could say the same for you. Your turn didn't finish yet? How many hours do you work?"
"Well, I'm trying to be number one again, and I keep under the top ten, so I need to push a little harder."
"Don't do that! You're gonna hurt yourself if you work so much!"
"You're the one talking?" Bakugou's eyebrow raised. "I know you're going to patrol, I can see the case of your hero suit in your hand, you know?"
"Well, you know me. I can't help it."
"I know. Just... don't get hurt."
Katsuki didn't know what else he should say. They were friends, childhood friends, they knew each other for almost twenty years and Bakugou were in love with Izuku at least half of the time. So, why he felt so awkward around him?
"We should patrol together some time, Kacchan." Izuku suggested. "Like we used to do when we were training at Endevour's company with Todoroki, do you remember? I'll be so much fu—"
"That's weird, 'cause I thought that you didn't wanted to work with me, Deku." Kacchan's voice sounded too rough when he cut Izuku, and none of them were able to ignore it. Bakugou felt pathetic again, completely aware of his own reaction and all the implications around it.
Classic Katsuki Bakugou. He hated himself so much, he understood why Izuku didn't wanted him around.
He even understood why Eijirou wouldn't wanted him around anymore.
"I never said that, Kacchan. We're friends, of course I want to be a hero with you. I want to be a hero with all my friends. Do you actually think that I don't? 'Cause if you do, then you don't know me at all."
"I've already told you that treating everyone as if they're special makes no one special."
"Why are you suddenly so obsessed with being special? What's the matter with you? Are you mad at me?"
"No. I'm just tired and you're pissing me off."
"Cut the crap, Kacchan." Izuku sounded and looked annoyed, making Katsuki feel extremely guilty. Why he always feel that way? Why could't he get rid of that feeling? How many years would it take him to get over the guilt, the pain and, most of all, the love? "If you're angry at me the just say it, we can talk about it."
"It doesn't matter."
"It is because of your offer? 'Cause I'm not working for you? I thought that you say it didn't matter!"
"It didn't. It's not that. Give me a break, it was a long day. I shouldn't have come here in the first place."
"You know... we'll never solve our problems if we don't talk about it, Kacchan. I thought we were over all of this. We are friends" he kept saying. "If you have something to say, do it. And if you have a problem, I'll always be there for you."
"Stop saying that."
"What?"
"That we are friends. You kept saying that over and over again. You'd say that since we were kids, I'm getting tired of hearing it."
"But... we are. Aren't we?"
"I don't know. You're the one who doesn't want to work with me. You're the one who used to talk about having our own agency, together. You're the one who always was chasing me around. You—"
"Kacchan. Breathe." Izuku interrupted the second he realize his friend was throwing up the words so aggressively it seemed like he couldn't catch his breath. "I didn't know this was to serious for you. I'm so sorry, I had never want to hurt your feelings, you know that. I appreciate you a lot. I would never hurt you on purpose."
"Of course, you never know anything, Izuku."
"Why are you acting like this? If there's something else, just tell me. Stop being such a diva, Katsuki, I can't read you mind. And you're making me angry already."
Katsuki.
Bakugou hated hear his name spoken that way from Izuku's voice, but he knew he earned. He wanted to scream. He needed to vomit out all those feelings that tormented him for years. But more than anything, he wanted to punch Izuku for being so blind, or worst, for pretending to be blind.
How could he not know? How could everyone know but Izuku? Could someone really be that stupid? Could someone ignore the love standing in front of them for years like that? Bakugou wanted to ask him.
He was about to ask him.
But just as he opened his mouth to speak, his phone rang.
Weird Hair [17:43]: Hey Bakubro! ☺️ Sorry I didn't answer before.
Weird Hair [17:43]: I was busy, but I'm doing just fine, and yeah, I'm eating all my meals, I swear 😉
Weird Hair [17:44]: Kinda miss your dinners, though.
Weird Hair [17:44]: See ya next week, don't worry about me!
And suddenly, Katsuki felt sick and overwhelmed by his feelings and the storm of thoughts in his head. He didn't even remember sending a text to his best friend minutes before, but now that the reply had come, it was all he could think about. Bakugou missed him so much.
He wouldn't have started this weird and intense conversation with Izuku if Eijirou were with him. He wouldn't have acted like an asshole, or let his stupid heart speak instead of his mind. He wouldn't have been so dumb if his best friend were around. And, for the record, he wouldn't have skipped his own lunch because he didn't feel like cooking without Kirishima in the house.
"Kacchan, we're talking."
"I'm sorry." Katsuki muttered, his voice lowered. "I shouldn't have exploded that way. It's nothing, Izuku."
"It is something. I want to know what."
"Maybe another day." Katsuki replied. "I really don't feel like talking today. I just want to go home."
"I understand." Izuku said in that soft voice that could have melted the coldest of hearts. "But we're gonna talk about it, right? You promise?"
"Yeah, Izuku. I promise. Some day."
Katsuki felt low the entire week. He didn't return to UA after he saw Izuku that afternoon because he kept feeling embarrassed and quite annoyed about what happened between them the last time they talked. Izuku tried to reach Katsuki a couple of times, but he kept ignoring him every time he mentioned the fact that they needed to talk about whatever was on Kacchan's mind.
He was feeling extremely exhausted, mentally as usual, but now also physically. After he started to put his life together again, he became an absolute workaholic. He committed to his old goals, even though he didn't feel the urge to become the number one hero anymore. But at least he could keep his mind occupied with something that wasn't Izuku. That was the first piece of advice his friends gave him.
"You know what your problem is? YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON YOUR JOB!" Mina exclaimed the night the entire group of friends reunited in Bakugou and Kirishima's apartment after they finished moving in.
"I never thought you would be such a whiner, Bakugou" Sero teased.
"I'm not a whiner!"
"Prove it, then. Mina's right, you need to focus, dude. You're going to watch your life fall apart just because a guy doesn't like you back?"
"Give him a break, bro" Kirishima said. "He needs time, we all do when our hearts are broken."
Kirishima was always ready to defend him, even though Bakugou never understood why. Why did he care so much? Did he even deserve it?
While thinking about the words of his friends, Katsuki was looking at the clock that Eijirou hung over the TV, feeling anxious because the hours were passing too slowly. He promised his roommate he would pick him up from the airport, and for some reason, he was impatient. He wanted to talk to him about everything that happened the last few weeks, he wanted to discuss the conversation with Izuku, and hear Kirishima's opinion and advice. He wanted to see him getting excited while talking about his trip and make fun of the silly souvenirs he surely bought. He probably had a magnet for their fridge. Eijirou loved collecting magnets from every place he visited for some reason.
Katsuki's alarm started to ring, but he wasn't able to take a nap anyway, so he turned it off and grabbed his keys, ready to find his best friend. But the door opened just as he was about to leave the place.
"Kirishima, what are you doing here? I was about to pick you up! I thought your flight wouldn't have landed for like two more hours!"
"It was supposed to, but they changed it at the last minute. I forgot to tell you, I'm sorry." Eijirou answered. He carried his baggage inside the apartment and collapsed on the couch before Katsuki even realized that he was already home. "And why were you going to the airport so early? It's just a half-hour away. Don't tell me you missed me."
"Tch... You wish, Dumb Hair. I needed to make a stop before I picked you up" Bakugou lied, pretending he didn't wanted to be right on time to see his friend. Or maybe a little bit early, just to make sure.
"Really? Were?" Eijirou's eyebrow rised along with a playful smile.
"None of your business."
"Yeah, sure" Kirishima teased. "What's new? We barely talked last weeks."
"Well, I have a new roommate and you have to move on." Kirishima laughed at Bakugou's response and, suddenly, the apartment looked way brighter than before. "Don't laugh, you have to go, my new roommate doesn't like intruders."
"Like you could find someone other than me who could stand you!"
Bakugou also laughed. He knew that his best friend was just joking but, at certain point, he had the feeling that Eijirou was kinda right. No one else would tolerate him like his best friend always did.
Izuku, maybe. Izuku, of course.
But Kacchan didn't want to think of him in that moment.
All those weird thoughts that almost convinced Katsuki that his best friend was pushing him away or didn't want him around anymore vanished after Eijirou came back from his trip. Bakugou assumed that Kirishima was probably just tired before he left, but he was himself again, and kept fighting Katsuki over his pajamas, filling the fridge with magnets and connecting his phone to Katsuki's new car just to listen those songs that Bakugou swore he hated. But he did not.
Katsuki felt relief. He already felt he lost Izuku, and secretly was terrified with the idea of losing someone as important as Kirishima too.
Everything seemed to take his place in Katsuki's life, finally.
Until...
"OH, MY GOD! Did you guys saw Ochako's new post?" Mina looked extremely excited, so excited that she didn't even realize that Bakugou was there, looking at the same picture everyone else was.
Izuku's arm was holding Uraraka's waist. They were smiling, except that she was looking at the camera, while Izuku's eyes were focused on her smile. A pink heart it's all that she written on the description, but no one needed anything more to understand.
Katsuki felt like throwing up.
"Mina! Are you dumb?" Sero exclaimed.
"What? Wh—" Mina's eyes widened with regret when they found Katsuki's stray look. "Bakugou, I'm sorry! I was so excited for her, I didn't even think of it. Oh, you must think I'm such a bitch!"
"Don't worry, I thought that long before you showed us the picture" he tried to joke, but no one bought it. "Don't look at me like I'm some damn abandoned puppy, I'm okay. We all know they have been dating since the reunion. It's not a big deal. Good for them."
"You don't believe a single word you just say, do you?" Kaminari asked.
"It's okay if you feel off, Bakugou. We all support you." Jirou said, looking at Katsuki with so much care and concern that made him want to cry. But he didn't. He just crossed his arms and stared at his glass of beer like it was the most interesting object in the entire universe.
"People's lives can't stop just because of me. It's okay. This is good for them. Just don't wanna talk about it anymore."
Weirdly, the only one Katsuki wanted to hear something from was Kirishima. He knew his best friend always had the perfect words for every occasion, and maybe that was the reason Bakugou started to feel disappointed the second he saw Eijirou change the subject like nothing happened. Was it just his paranoia, or did Kirishima also want to escape the Izuku-Ochako topic? Was Eijirou trying to protect him again? Or was it something else?
The apartment didn’t shine that day. The lights were on, the moonlight streamed through the windows, and even the stars sparkled beautifully in the night sky. But everything felt dark for Bakugou, because Kirishima wasn't able to smile.
And Katsuki understood exactly what his best friend was feeling, he would have loved not to, but he did. Because that was one of the days where Red Riot's powers and abilities weren't enough to save everyone's lives on a mission. And when something like that happen, it's always Eijirou who has to face the consequences.
"I'm too slow" Kirishima muttered at the dinner table, his voice low, like he was talking to himself instead of Bakugou. "I could've saved that kid if I weren't so pathe—"
"Don't" Bakugou interrupted him because he already knew his friend was torturing himself inside his mind, and he wouldn't have let him doing it out loud. "This is not your fault. You're not slow, you're not pathetic. You're a hero, and sometimes heroes can save everyone, sometimes we can't. It's part of the job and we have to learn to live with it."
"Your didn't saw him" Eijirou said in trembling voice. "Or his mother, crying over the kid's dead body. I'm not a hero."
"We all lost someone at least one, you know that."
"It doesn't make it easy. I don't care if it's something normal or even if it is part of the job. I feel awful anyway. I feel..."
"Guilty?"
"Yes" Kirishima's voice broke. "And not just for not saving him."
"For being the one who lived?"
"Yeah" he confessed. "I have the feeling that I shouldn't be the one eating dinner at home now. That kid should be. I'd rather be—"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Shitty Hair" Bakugou growled. He felt so suddenly anxious when his mind created an entire scenario where someone knocked at his door just to tell him that Kirishima didn't make it.
Katsuki saw everything, himself visiting a grave with Eijirou's name on it, Mina and Denki screaming, Jirou crying, Sero trying to desperately find out that there is some kind of mistake, Kirishima's parents asking him how it happened, his own hands shaking with that flower Eijirou loves, but he wouldn't be able to see it. The apartment would be empty, the magnets would fall from the fridge, and Bakugou had be left alone in the cold and darkness.
"Stop interrupting me, dude! I'm trying to speak my mind here!"
"Then stop saying stupid things, and I will let you finish!" Katsuki's voice exposed his fear and anxiety. He hated that, he'd rather sound aggressive or angry instead of worried, but he couldn't help it. He kept seeing that scenario over and over again, all in just one second, like it was an endless horror movie.
"Bakubro, are you okay?"
"No, I'm not. I don't stand listening to you talking shit like this. You shouldn't die, and you're not going to. Don't you dare, or I'll kill you myself."
Eijirou knew he shouldn't smile at those words, but he did it anyway. Something about Bakugou talking to him with genuine concern made him feel protected and, in a way, more valuable. The darkness around his thoughts and the cold settled in his heart didn't completely vanish, but at least, everything felt lighter.
Bakugou was terrible with words for those who didn't know him, but Kirishima understood him well enough to know that Katsuki cared about him deeply. And maybe, just maybe, Katsuki was just as afraid of losing his best friend as Kirishima was.
"I'm going to tell the truth to Izuku" Kacchan said.
Eijirou almost spilled his energy drink all over Bakugou's car.
"WHAT?"
"Like I said. I'm going to be honest with him, I'm tired of this shit. I miss him, and we aren't talking because I keep acting like he made something terrible to me. And I feel kinda guilty about it."
"Bakugou, he has a girl—"
"I know he has a girlfriend!" Katsuki exclaimed. "I'm not trying to ask for his hand in marriage, damn it! I just decided to be honest because the freaking nerd keep sending me texts asking what's wrong, intertwined with cats videos for some reason."
"I don't see the problem, I love cats videos" Kirishima mocked him and Bakugou tried his best to not laugh along with his friend.
"I'm being serious."
"Me too. Bakugou, this is huge, you can't just look at your best friend right in the eyes and say: hey, dude! Look at me. I love you. I loved you since forever, and sometimes I feel like I'll always going to love you. And it kills me not to tell you as much as it kills me being right here, sitting in darkness, watching you love someone else." The words flew out around the car before Kirishima realize what he just said. Thankfully, Bakugou couldn't see his eyes when he was speaking, otherwise, Eijirou was sure that his friend would've read his mind and heart. He quickly added: "you're going to scare him to death!"
"Dude... what the hell was that?"
"What?"
"All those cheesy things you just said. I would never say something like that!" Katsuki said. "Besides, I'm pretty sure Izuku already knows something. I don't buy his 'I don't know what are you talking about, Kacchan' attitude. I've made it so fucking obvious! Since I realized I was in love, I've always treated him like he was so special! How much of a dumbass someone has to be to not realize their so-obvious friend is in love?"
"Yeah... how could someone not notice something that it's right in front of them?" Kirishima replied, his voice dripping with irony. "You'd have to be like the biggest jerk in the world!"
"That's what I'm saying!" Bakugou nodded, completely missing the point.
Kirishima rolled his eyes, suppressing a laugh. He loved Katsuki so much, more than he should probably, even when he was definitely the dumbest dumb in the entire universe.
And he had not idea.
After a long, awkward and extremely sentimental conversation with Izuku, Bakugou decided that he needed some space and time alone.
Sure, he enjoyed spending time with his friends, loved his home and felt truly comfortable there. He liked his job and kept improving at it. His life wasn’t bad at all. But that didn’t mean saying goodbye to his lingering feelings for Izuku was easy. Katsuki had to admit he was struggling. And he was just tired of pretending he was okay.
So, he decided his best option was to accept an invitation from his parents. Some dumb suggestion they had made months ago to visit a distant relative he barely even remembered. It was the perfect excuse to disappear for a few days.
Bakugou just hoped his best friend wouldn't turn their apartment into a disaster while he was gone.
Bakubro💥 [10:06]: Dumb hair, I've left already. Take care of our house and don't break anything in my absence. And don't let sparky look into my computer or anything that he could overcharge!!
Weird Hair [10:08]: Excuse me, who are you? I think you're confused, I live alone!
Bakubro💥 [10:08]: I'll kill you while you sleep.
Weird Hair [10:09]: Always so nice, I miss you already!!! 🙄🙄
Bakubro💥 [10:11]: Bet you will, dumb hair, who's going to make you dinner if I'm not around?
Weird Hair [10:11]: I'll survive. Take care of yourself for once! Why are you always worried about others??
Bakubro💥 [10:14]: I don't. I just need you alive to pay the rent!
Weird Hair [10:14]: Ha, ha 🙄
Bakubro💥 [10:17]: Take care of yourself too. And don't skip any meal, weirdo, I'm serious!
Weird Hair [10:18] Dude, you're supposed to be my bro, not my father. I'll be fine! I'm a big boy already! I'll eat all my vegetales! 💪💪
Weird Hair [10:18]: Say hi to your parents for me!!
"What are you laughing about, brat?" Katsuki's mother asked, ruffling his hair.
"None of your business. And leave me alone, your ruining my hairstyle!" He growled, pushing her hand away.
"Oh, come on, Katsuki. Talk to your mother! It's about Izuku again? Or is it a new boyfriend?"
"Izuku has never been my boyfriend, old hag. It's just Kirishima, he's talking nonsense as usual."
"Old hag?!" Mitsuki smacked his arm. "Show some respect, you little brat. I'm your mother!"
"Please, can we have just one day of peace? This is a family trip." Masaru, Katsuki's dad, asked, hoping to defuse the argument.
"We could have peace if your son weren't such a disrespectful piece of shit who won't admit he has a new boyfriend!" Mitsuki shouted at her husband. "Why don't you share your feelings with your family for once, Katsuki?"
"I've told you, It's just Kirishima!"
"Well, a boyfriend, a Kirishima... almost the same at this point!"
"Shut the fuck up!"
Masaru sighed. "Oh my— this is going to be a long family trip." He wouldn't say it out loud, because his wife and son barely let him speak, but he kinda missed this type of chaos.
Mina was extremely comfortable hanging out in Kirishima and Bakugou's apartment since Katsuki weren't there. She always liked visiting, but it was definitely easier when he was away because she was able to talk with her childhood friend about everything. Absolutely everything.
"So, I'd date him thinking 'yeah, it's a nice guy, he it's not a hero, he likes me and he insisted for months. What could possible go wrong'? I'm such an idiot!" she complained, throwing her hands up dramatically.
"Well, I don't want to sound rude, but Bakugou and Sero did warn you about him" Eijirou reminded her.
"They didn't even know him! Why would I listen to them?"
"Because they're your friends, and they care about you."
"I know" she sighed. "That's exactly why I’m avoiding them. I don't want to hear them say 'I told you so'. I feel stupid! I'm so embarrassed!"
"Don't be. Come on, Mina" Kirishima said as he let his head fall onto her lap. Mina, who was sitting on the couch, instinctively started playing with his hair. "We all had been in this kind of situation. Just look at our friends! Bakugou's been in love with Izuku since forever. Sero might have a lot of dates, but his relationships never last. Even Denki and Jirou sometimes act weird about whatever they have. Relationships are complicated. And maybe they're supposed to be."
"That's weird" Mina said, giving him a curious look. "You mentioned all our friend's fucked-up relationships. But you forgot to talk about yourself."
Eijirou sighed, knowing that he couldn't escape Mina's interrogation. "I don't wanna talk about myself anymore. You already know everything."
"Nothing's changed between the two of you, huh?"
"No" he answered. "I don't want it to. We are friends, we'll always be. I like it this way. It is what it is, and it works well."
"I don't get it, why don't you tell him the truth? There's no Deku in the picture anymore! He's dating Ochako! Bakugou decided to get over him. It's your time to shine, Red Riot!"
Kirishima smiled at her, incapable of fighting with Mina's positivity.
"Red Riot has no problem shining, Ashido. Eijirou's different, you know that. And Bakugou likes Eijirou as a friend. Every version of me, actually. And I've made my peace with that."
"Well, I didn't!" she said, pulling his hair softly. "You guys are perfect for each other! I've never wanted to give you hopes about him, because I genuinely thought he would be with Deku someday, and I didn't want you to suffer because of it. But that's not going to happen now! So you need to stand up and fight for your man before someone else notices him."
"Everyone already notice him, Mina. It's Katsuki Bakugou we're talking about" he pointed out.
"Yeah, people might notice him, but no one other that you really likes him."
"Mina! Don't say that!"
"I love the guy, but he's hard, you know it! I still don't get how can you be so freaking in love with him, but I'm not judging!"
Eijirou stood up and looked at his friend right in the eyes, thinking, trying to find the words that he needed to explain. "It might sound cheesy, and it is. But he makes me feel special. And I know that I'm not special, I know that Bakugou's just being Bakugou. But I feel that way around him, and I like it."
"You're special, dude. You always were."
"Not to him."
Bakugou was never the type of guy who miss people, but he missed his best friend. He found himself wishing he were around at random moments, like everytime his mother bragged about him being on the top twenty of heroes —not something he'd brag about, anyway— and Katsuki thought 'yeah, you should see my roommate, he's ever higher tha me in the rankings'. Or the time his parents made him go to some fair with people selling weird, crappy crafts, and he saw an ugly magnet painted with a lot of colors.
Katsuki bought it. He knew Eijirou would love to put it on their fridge.
He was so used to his best friend's presence that he didn't even realize how much he would crave it when Eijirou wasn't around. The last time they spent time apart was when Eijirou went on a business trip, and two months had passed since. Katsuki asked himself if he'd become too dependent on Eijirou again, like he had been after Izuku started dating Uraraka. He felt pathetic. Why was he always burdening his friend with his own weaknesses?
Bakubro💥 [14:21]: Did you cooked today?
Weird Hair [14:26]: If you keep controlling me I might think that you care, Bakugou
Weird Hair [14:27]: I hate cooking, I eated a sandwich
Bakubro💥 [14:27]: You piece of shit, I've told you to take care of yourself
Weird Hair [14:28]: And I've told not to worry about me! I'll cook tonight, I promise
Bakugou sighed in frustration. How could he not worry about Eijirou? They were friends! Of course he would worry, even if didn't want to.
Weird Hair [14:30]: How are you doing? Feeling better?
Kirishima was a hypocrite. He cared about everyone and everything, and yet he was the one telling Katsuki not to worry? What a dumbass.
Bakubro💥 [14:32]: Yeah. It's kinda nice been here
Bakubro💥 [14:32]: But I want to go back already, I can't stand my mother anymore
Weird Hair [14:33]: Not so funny to deal with a Bakugou, huh?
Bakubro💥 [14:34]: What the hell's that supposed to mean??
Weird Hair [14:35]: Say hi to your parents for me, see ya!!
"Mom, dad, Kirishima says 'hi'".
After Bakugou returned to his home, he started to be way more conscious of Kirishima's presence. Maybe because he actually missed him, maybe because both of them were working their asses off with the new wave of villains that started to rise again after years of peace. But whatever was going on in his head, he hated it, because he felt dependent again, and he promise himself that he wouldn't feel that way toward anyone ever again. He didn't want to be a burden.
But he was.
The worst of burdens for Kirishima, who was glued to Bakugou's door, hitting it insistently.
"Bakugou, stop being a crybaby and get out of there."
"I'm noy a crybaby, I'm feeling sick, that's all."
"Yeah, right. You feel sick the exact day of Shouto's birthday. What a coincidence" Eijirou replied with irony. "And, of course, it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you're going to see Izuku and Uraraka, right?"
"Exactly, a coincidence."
"You're acting like a jerk again, Bakugou" Kirishima said behind the door, sounding annoyed. "Izuku has a girlfriend, too bad. Cry about it all you want but you need to grow up already. Todoroki's our friend, and he wants you on his birthday celebration tonight! So, I get it, you don't want to see Midoriya and Uraraka together but—"
"It's not just that" Bakugou cut in. "I know they are together, I'm over that already."
"What's the matter, then?"
Katsuki took a deep breath, asking himself if he should be honest about his feelings or if he should pull a classic Bakugou Katsuki and tell Kirishima to go to hell. But the second option didn't feel right at all.
So, he opened the door of his room and looked at his best friend right in the eyes. Eijirou's face changed inmediately, from an annoyed expression to a worried one.
"I'm embarassed" Katsuki confessed. "I don't want to face him after everything I said to him, he must think I'm such a dork. And I don't want to face Cheeks either. Can you imagine that? She probably hates me because I liked her boyfriend, she might think I'm a weirdo".
Eijirou couldn't help but start laughing.
"What are you laughing at, Dumb Hair?"
"I just..." Kirishima took a breath before he continuing. "I can't believe that you are thinking of all those things. Come on, Bakubro, it's Izuku we're talking about! Don't you know him at all? Didn't he try to reach you for weeks since you confessed to him? He's probably crying over not being friends with his dear Kacchan anymore because you wouldn't talk to him."
"I'm not so sure about that."
"Well, you should!" Eijirou exclaimed. "And Uraraka? That girl doesn't have a single hating bone on her entire body. She probably doesn't care at all. And if she does, then it's her problem, and Izuku's, but not yours! And yeah, you are a weirdo, you should know that already. Get over it."
Kirishima's smile was contagious, so Bakugou gave him one in return. Suddenly, he felt way more confident again. His friend was right, it wasn't a big deal.
Since when do I care...
"Since when do you care so much about what other people think about you?" Eijirou asked, pulling his friend out of the room by grabbing his shirt. "You always go wherever you want to go, you do whatever you want to do, and you are whatever you want to be. That's you. If someone doesn't like it, then fuck them. You don't have to explain anything to anyone, especially your feelings. Those are yours and no one else's."
Bakugou's heart skipped a beat when Eijirou's hand let go of his shirt but stayed over his chest for a moment. He felt the heat growing in his own face, but he didn't understand why he had such a weird reaction to a so simple gesture.
"Okay" he finally said. "Tell Icy-hot we're both going to be there. But, for the record, I'll make someone exploded if anyone dares to make fun of me"
"That will not happen. But, if someone makes fun of you, I'll explode them myself."
Kirishima always said things like that. Simple and kind words that meant a lot to Bakugou, even if he would never admit it. It made him feel comfortable knowing his best friend always had his back, no matter what.
He made him feel special.
Didn't he learn anything yet? Why does he treat everyone like they’re special? Even me. I’m not special at all.
Eijirou always broke Bakugou’s number one rule of 'no eating in the car —or else you die—' so Katsuki was annoyingly used to watching him spread crumbs all over the seat. But Sero and Kaminari weren't Kirishima.
"Don’t you dare open that cookie package! No eating in the car!" Bakugou growled.
"Are you kidding me?" Sero exclaimed. "Kirishima's been munching on those nasty energy bars the entire trip. Why can't I have my cookies?"
"Because it's my car, and I say so."
"Sorry, guys. Roommate privilege, I guess" Kirishima said, munching on another piece of his energy bar.
"More like boyfriend privilege" Kaminari muttered, but only Sero was able to hear him clearly.
"Dude!"
"What the hell did you just said, Sparky?"
"I said you're a dick, Bakugou!"
"I might be a dick, but I’m the only one with a car right now. So if you want to take the bus, be my guest."
"Cut it out, both of you" Eijirou said, stepping in. "I won't eat anymore if it's such a problem."
"Wait a damn minute" Bakugou started. "You completely ignore me every time I say 'no eating' in my car, but now you stop just because they said something about it? No! Now I want you to eat in my car."
"Well, maybe I don't want to eat anymore," Kirishima teased. But Bakugou looked genuinely pissed.
"The hell you don't, I know you!"
"I'm not hungry anymore."
"Well, I think you look hungry."
"How does someone look hungry?"
"My goodness" Sero murmured to Kaminari. "Are they aware they sound like my parents when they fight like this?"
"I'm more interested in whether they're aware they're kinda flirting right now" Kaminari answered, looking like he was trying to suppress his laugh.
"Gross."
"Why are you fighting me over this? Do you like getting on my nerves for some reason?" Bakugou asked his best friend, completely ignoring the fact that the two guys in the back seat were absolutely immersed in the drama.
"Maybe I like how you look when you act like this instead of doing it like a whiner." Kirishima didn't even think of his words before letting them slip, and when he realized it, it was too late. His face turned burning red, and Bakugou's followed it.
"I don't act like a whiner."
"Anymore, you don't act like a whiner anymore" Sero intervened, pulling both of his friends out of the uncomfortable zone they had fallen into. "I never thought I would say this, but it's good to have you back, Bakugou."
"Whatever" Katsuki muttered.
None of them were able to turn off the bright red of their faces.
At least all the confusion gave Sero and Kaminari the chance to open the cookie package, because Bakugou was too distracted giving Kirishima fleeting glances every time he thought he wasn't looking.
"Bakugou, how do you know if you're in love with a friend?" Shouto asked out of nowhere.
Katsuki choked with his drink, coughing violently. Izuku turned to him with his usual 'are you okay, Kacchan?' look, which only made him feel more embarrassed.
"Icy-hot, what the hell?!"
"Todoroki, you shouldn't ask stuff like that!" Izuku added, his face turning red. Shouto blinked, clearly confused.
"I thought everything was fine between you two" Todoroki said with a shrug. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make things weird again."
"It's not weird, right, Kacchan?" Izuku asked nervously.
"It's not" Katsuki admitted honestly. "But why are you asking? Do you like someone? Wait... you can even like people? I thought you were half robot."
"Kacchan!"
"Stop 'Kacchan' me, Izuku. I'm just messing with him!"
"I might like someone" Shouto admitted. "Do you remember my last birthday?"
"Barely" Bakugou answered. "I was drunk before I get there. But yeah, what happened? Was that mysterious someone there?"
"No, actually she wasn't."
"Oh, so it's none of our friends? Who is she then, Todoroki?"
"Well—"
"Wait... why you even mentioned you birthday if she wasn't there anyway?" Bakugou asked, clearly confused.
Shouto let out a heavy sigh before continuing. "Because… Yaomomo wasn't there. She had an important mission. And she felt so guilty for missing my birthday that she asked me out when she came back to the country to make it up to me" he explained. "So, we went to dinner, had some drinks, had a lot of fun, and I took her back to her apartment. But… things have been complicated since that night."
"What do you mean by 'complicated'?" Izuku asked, leaning in curiously.
But Bakugou had already understand.
"No way! Half-and-half!" he exclaimed, unable to suppress his laugh. "Did you fuck Ponytail?!"
"We did have sex Bakugou" Todoroki replied, rolling his eyes. "Thank you for make it sound so disgusting. But that's not the point."
"I can't see what could be more important than that" Izuku said, still shocked.
"We agreed it was just something casual that happened once. But we kept dating, or something like that. Just as friends."
"There's no way you could act like 'just friends' with someone you've already fucked, Icy-hot."
"Well, I thought I could!" Todoroki answered, exasperated. "I've never had feelings for her before. I mean, of course I admired her back at school, and I trusted her with my life during every mission we went on. And I've always thought she has one of the most beautiful smiles I've ever seen in my life, and—"
"Yeah, that sure sounds like you never had feelings for her before" Bakugou interrupted, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'd like to help you, but this is nothing like me liking Izuku. Actually, I think it's more like Izuku liking Cheeks."
"Stop calling her that, her name is Ochako" Izuku scolded him, though Katsuki didn't seem to care. "And, it might sound alike, but it's not. Uraraka and I started dating while knowing that we liked each other, we were always friends until we decided we weren't anymore. Besides, we didn't slept together until we were officially a couple."
"No way" Bakugou muttered. "You're such a nerd. Tell me at least you touched her butt or her boobs before having sex. Because with Cheeks, I definitely would."
"Kacchan! That's my girlfriend you're talking about." Midoriya looked genuinely pissed, and Bakugou had the urge to keep mocking him, mostly because he'd never seen Izuku jealous before, and it was funny. But he decided to let it go, at least for now.
"I'm gay, I can talk about my friend's girlfriends, it's okay."
"No, it's no. Please never talk about Momo." Todoroki said, but mostly sounded like he was warning Bakugou.
"Well... she's not your girlfriend."
"You're mean."
"I know" Bakugou answered, drawing a mischievous smile on his face. "But it's not a big deal. Talk to her about your feelings. She likes you already, she wouldn't have slept with you if she didn't."
"Kacchan it's right" Izuku nodded. "You're already halfway there. Just tell her that you want her, and let her know that you're not just playing around, that's important."
"Yeah! And say something cheesy, like you were inside of a cliché romcom."
"I'd never watched a romcom, what should I said?"
"Never?!" Izuku's jaw dropped. "We need to fix that soon. But anyway. Go and tell her that you're just a boy standing in front of a girl asking her to love him."
Bakugou dramatically rolled his eyes.
"I hate that movie" he lied. Actually, he enjoyed every single romcom he'd ever watch, but he'd rather die before admit it. He couldn't ever been like his roommate, who would always cry his eyes out while watching them under the excuse that 'a real man it's not afraid to cry'.
Katsuki smiled at the thought of Kirishima crying over 'Love, Rosie'.
"If you're talking seriously about your feelings for her, and you're going to confess, then do it by heart" Bakugou said, forcing himself back to the conversation. "Don't try to be some kind of movie gentleman because you are no."
"Well, thank you, Bakugou, you're always so nice" Shouto replied, ironically.
"This is me being nice, dumbass" he said. Izuku softly laugh because he knew that, certainly, Kacchan was making an effort to sound nice. "Look at her eyes and say the corniest crap that you can think of" Bakugou advised. "Something like the shit you said before about her smile. Tell her that she makes you a better person, that everything around reminds you of her."
Izuku and Shouto glanced at each other with confusion painted all over their faces. Katsuki's eyes suddenly looked lost in the distance, and his friends started to ask what would be taking place on his mind.
Or who.
It'd be Izuku?
"What else, Bakugou?" Todoroki asked, feeling curious.
"I've already told you, cheesy crap."
"Like what, Kacchan?"
"Like..." Katsuki seemed loss again for just a second. "Tell her you would like to say you loved her since forever, but you can't because you're an absolutely jerk and never gave her the attention she deserved before." He exhaled sharply, almost as if those words carried a weight he hadn't realized. "Tell him... he's special. And that you like the way he styles his hair. Tell him he looks stunning in red, and—"
"Her" Todoroki corrected. "It's her, Bakugou, not him."
Katsuki froze. What he was even saying?
"Yeah, her, whatever. I can't solve all your problems, Half-and-half!" Bakugou barked while crossing his arms. He felt defensive and exposed, but he didn't know why.
So, he looks stunning in red. Izuku though while putting the pieces together. That's not me, for sure.
But they all knew someone who's signature colour was burning red.
Somehow, Mina had convinced Kirishima to wear matching outfits with her.
Actually, she dragged him into attending her cousin's wedding as her date with coordinated outfits that wouldn't look good in anyone, except for the obnoxious Mina Ashido.
"How do I look, Kats?" Mina asked, twirling in her dress for what felt like the hundredth time. She looked beautiful.
"She was always beautiful." Eijirou once said, years ago. "We all had a crush on her back in high school."
Bakugou didn't understand why he suddenly remembered that, or why he felt so annoyed about it.
"Like a loser who couldn't find a real date" he grumbled, his arms crossed.
"Aw, don't be jealous, Bakugou" she teased. Katsuki felt his face flush as red as Mina's dress. Before he could snap back and insist he wasn't jealous, especially not because of Eijirou, she added "I'll date you next time!"
"You're leaving me already?" Kirishima cut in with a innocent smile, heading back into the room. "At least let me screw up this date first before you cheating me with my roommate!"
When Bakugou saw him, his heart stopped. Just for a moment, but it felt like forever.
"Dude, you look hot!" Mina exclaimed, stepping closer to her date to adjust his tie. "You should wear suits more often. I might actually date you for real next time."
Bakugou's stomach twisted painfully.
"Wait, so this isn't real? I'm heartbroken, Mina" Kirishima joked, raising an eyebrow. "You're playing with my feelings."
They were joking, like they always did. Mina loved to flirt, especially with her closest friends, and Kirishima didn't mind leaning into it. He enjoyed playing along, particularly when he felt confident.
But Bakugou didn't look like he was enjoying it at all.
"Tch… get a room."
"Would you join us?" Mina teased.
"Not my target, raccoon."
"Don't be rude, Bakubro" Kirishima scolded him. "Why are you so annoyed? She asked all of us to go out with her, you're the one who said 'no'."
"I hate weddings."
"Of course you do, you'll never have one with that attitude." Mina leaned over Katsuki, mocking him. He rolled his eyes in replied. "We should go already, I don't want to be late."
"You always can lie and say that we were making out on your couch and that's the reason why we were late."
"Disgusting" Bakugou muttered while grabbing his keys and giving them to his best friend. "Not a single scratch, Weird Hair."
"WAIT!" Mina exclaimed in disbelief. "Are you actually giving him your car? Bakugou, you're the best!" She hugged him on pure instinct, and he resisted the urge to push her away, knowing she couldn't help being annoyingly touchy every time she got excited.
"Yeah, yeah" he said, rolling his eyes. "If you're going to pretend you're not as lame as you actually are, then you shouldn't be dating a loser who doesn't drive a nice car."
"I'm not a loser!" Kirishima complained.
"But you don't drive a nice car" Bakugou teased, a smile drew all over his face.
"Well, I am tonight."
"Easy..."
After warning Kirishima for what felt like the hundredth time that he will kill him if anything happened to his precious car, Bakugou stood at the curb, watching them drive away.
Deep down, he wanted them to have fun. He knew Mina needed it. She'd been struggling ever since her last breakup, and the whole wedding thing seemed to hit harder than she wanted to admit. And Kirishima worked nonstop for weeks, so, he definitely needed a night off as well.
Logically, Bakugou understood all of that.
But if he was so reasonable about it, why the hell did he keep recalling them laughing and flirting right in front of him? And, most of all, why he felt nauseous at the idea of the acting that way the entire night?
They were just having fun. It wasn't real. Katsuki thought.
But could it be?
Could Mina laugh at Kirishima's jokes, feeling her heart skip a beat every time he smiled at her? Could Eijirou remember how he used to have a crush on her, captivated by her beauty? Could Mina look at him and realize just how stunning he looked in red? Could she blush at the sight of him while dancing? Would he wrap his arms around her waist and spin her around the dance floor?
Would people look at them and think they were one of those perfect couples meant to be together?
Because, in a way, they kind of were.
Like Denki and Kyouka, or Shouto and Momo.
Or Izuku and Ochako.
All over again.
"I need a beer" he muttered, shoving the negative thoughts back into the darkness of his mind.
It'll be a long night, for sure.
Bakugou was passed out on the couch, an empty bottle of beer resting on his chest. Eijirou noticed at least four or five more spread around the living room floor, and concern began to creep into his mind.
He remembered the last time he saw his best friend completely wasted. It was a rainy night, and they had drunk far more than they could handle.
"I'm going to love him forever," Katsuki cried. "I'll never stop loving Deku. I'm going to die alone, 'cause it’ll never stop."
The memory hit Eijirou like a punch to the gut, and he hesitated before trying to wake Katsuki up. He didn't want to hear that again. He couldn't handle another season of Bakugou crying over another man. Crying over Izuku Midoriya. Always crying over him. Forever. Because it was a love that would last forever.
"Come on, Eijirou, get it together. Be a man" he muttered to himself.
But he didn't want to be a man. He wanted to drink and cry over his own unrequited love.
"Bakubro" Eijirou called softly. "Wake up, dumbass."
"Leave me alone."
"You need to get to your room. Come on" Kirishima said, helping him stand. "Rough night, huh? Do you even remember what happened?"
"Did you dance with Mina?" Bakugou mumbled, his breath was heavy with the smell of alcohol.
"What?"
"Did you?"
"Yeah, I did" Eijirou answered, confused.
"Did she tell you that you look... stunning in that suit?" Bakugou leaned in to his roommate, his face almost too close, like he was trying to look into Kirishima's eyes. His own were barely open, unfocused.
Kirishima laughed awkwardly. "Not exactly, but kinda, yeah. Why?"
"She's blind if she doesn't see it."
You're the blind one. Kirishima thought.
"You're talking nonsen—."
Before he could finish, Bakugou's knees gave out, and he fell back onto the couch, pulling Eijirou with him. Katsuki's arms locked around him, holding on tighter than he expected. Too tight. Too close.
"Don't fall in love with Mina" Katsuki said softly. It kind of sounded like he was begging. Kirishima couldn't remember him ever speaking like that before.
"Why would I fall in love with Mina?"
"Because she's so beautiful. She always was, you said it yourself."
Eijirou didn't remember saying that to Bakugou, but he didn't want to contradicted him either.
"Yeah, she is. But that doesn't mean I'm going to fall in love with her."
"Promise."
"Bakugou, what's wrong with—"
"Promise me you're not going to fall in love with someone else." Bakugou's voice dropped lower, rougher, sending chills straight through Kirishima's chest.
'Someone else'? What does that even mean?
"I'm going to fall in love eventually, Katsuki" he answered, pulling both of them back into reality. "We all going to. You too."
Eijirou had seen Katsuki cry countless times, especially since they'd become roommates. But he never imagined he will see Bakugou crying over something he said.
Crying over him.
Was he crying over him?
"Don't" Katsuki choked out, bitter tears running down his face. "Please, don't do this to me. Not again. Not you."
"Bakugou—"
"Please" Bakugou begged, his voice cracking as he grabbed Kirishima's shirt, holding him close like it was the only thing keeping him alive. "Don't be in love with anyone else. Be in love with me."
Kirishima's body froze. Completely. He thought Katsuki Bakugou couldn't surprise him anymore, but he had.
Bakugou had asked him to be in love with him. Why would he do that? Why would he say something like that? Did he know? Was Bakugou making fun of him?
No. He wouldn't.
Katsuki knew how painful it was to love someone who didn't love you back. He would never play with his feelings like that.
He was probably just confused.
Besides, Kirishima wouldn't have fallen in love with anyone else, even if he tried.
Katsuki's tears kept falling. He seemed desperate while holding his best friend, waiting for an answer. But Eijirou had no idea what he should say.
I'm not going to fall in love with anyone else. He thought. But, would you remember this tomorrow? Would you feel the same?
"You have no idea what you're doing, do you?" Kirishima murmured. "Time to sleep, Bakugou."
He tried to pull Katsuki's hands off him, but Bakugou held on tighter.
"Not until you promise."
"Kats—"
"Promise me" Bakugou demanded. His eyes, glassy with tears and clouded by the alcohol, still managed to hold a strange determination. Like he actually meant every word coming out of his mouth.
Kirishima didn't want to feel any kind of hope. But he couldn't stop his heart from jumping in his chest as Katsuki looked at him with so much intensity. It overwhelmed him. It felt... intimate.
"Okay" Eijirou sighed, realizing there was no such thing as a right answer to a request like that. "I promise, Katsuki. Now, go to sleep."
Bakugou ended up sleeping on the couch, refusing every time his roommate tried to get him back to his room. And, exhausted, Eijirou eventually fell asleep beside him, sitting on the floor with his head resting on Katsuki's lap, their hands intertwined.
Even in his sleep, Bakugou wouldn't let him go.
Unexpectedly, Katsuki was the first to wake up. He felt like shit. Everything seemed more intense than usual. The lights, brighter. The sounds, louder. The touch...
The touch.
His eyes scanned the room, stopping at the guy still holding his hand, noticing how their fingers fit together perfectly. Like they were made for this.
What the hell happened? Bakugou thought. Then the flashbacks from last night hit him all at once.
"Shit..." he muttered, embarrassed.
He wanted to run as far as he could. He wasn't ready to deal with something like this again. He didn't want to see Eijirou's kind, bright eyes looking at him with pity as he said 'I'm sorry, Kacchan, but I don't feel that way about you. We can still be friends, though.'
And he knew he should leave before giving Kirishima the chance to reject him. But the warmth of their touch felt so familiar, so comforting, that Bakugou couldn't bring himself to move. Just looking at their hands calmed him down a little.
How would Eijirou react when he woke up? Would he jump away? Would he look at him with concern? Would he pretend nothing happened? Would he say the promise had been just empty words to a wasted person? Would he hate Katsuki?
"Bakubro, are you awake?"
Fuck, I wish I weren't.
"Yeah" he murmured. "What are you doing on the floor, Shitty Hair?"
"Don't you remember?" Kirishima asked. His eyes opened slowly, still tired. Bakugou expected to see pity in them, but instead, there was something else... disappointment, maybe?
He needed to say something, but what? Should he lie or be honest? Should he say, 'Yeah, I remember everything'? Would Eijirou want to talk about the things Katsuki said? Should he confess already, before spending ten more years of his life being in love with someone who didn't love him back?
Should he let go of Kirishima's hand?
Why didn't Kirishima let go?
Why, suddenly, was he holding on tighter?
"We need to talk" Bakugou finally said. "I'll make breakfast first."
"Okay."
"Eggs?"
"Yeah, please."
"Okay."
"Mmh, Katsuki?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I have my hand back?"
No.
"Yeah, sure. Sorry."
Shit. It's going to be a long and awkward conversation. Again.
Kacchan [11:21]: I did something stupid last night. I need help.
Nerd [11:23]: What happened Kacchan?
Icy-hot [11:24]: What did you do?
Kacchan [11:25]: I got drunk and say things that I shouldn't have said and now I have to face the consequences.
Nerd [11:25]: Okay...
Nerd [11:25]: Explain to us. What did you say? To whom?
Kacchan [11:26]: I might said something to Kirishima...
Kacchan [11:26]: Like, things I think about him
Kacchan [11:26]: Things I shouldn't never have said
Kacchan [11:27]: Do you get it?
Icy-hot [11:28]: Bakugou, we need more information. What did you said to him?
Kacchan [11:30]: I might said that I don't want him to be in love with anyone
Nerd [11:30: Wait...
Nerd [11:30]: What????
Nerd [11:30]: Why???
Icy-hot [11:30]: Oh. My. God.
Kacchan [11:31]: Because I want him to be in love with me, losers, get the pieces together already and help me!!!! What should I said???
Icy-hot [11:32]: Tell him you like the way he styles his hair. And that he looks stunning in red.
Nerd [11:32]: HAHAHAHAHA
Kacchan [11:33]: Go fuck yourself, both of you!
Nerd [11:34]: Don't get mad, Kacchan
Nerd [11:34]: Just follow your own advice
Nerd [11:34]: Talk to him by heart, It'll be okay
Katsuki realized that telling someone else to 'talk by heart' was way easier than actually doing it himself. Especially with Kirishima's kind, shining eyes locked on him, making his heart pound and his hands shake with nerves.
It's fine, Kacchan. It's no big deal. Just tell him.
But what was he supposed to say? He hadn't even had the chance to make up his mind before they talk. It wasn't at all like the conversation he had with Izuku, where he rehearsed a whole speech.
It was Eijirou, and with him, everything felt too raw, too rushed, too overwhelming.
"Thanks" Kirishima said after finishing his breakfast. "That was great."
"It's nothing" Bakugou muttered, clearing his throat nervously. "Least I could do after you slept on the floor because of me."
Eijirou's face flushed as he gave a soft smile. "We both had worse nights, so it's no big deal. Besides, I'm off today, so I can just rest if I get tired."
"Are you tired?" Katsuki asked, his voice sharper than he intended.
"Sort of."
"Did you have fun last night? At the wedding, I mean" Bakugou added, cursing himself internally. Of course, you meant the wedding. Why did you have to clarify? Idiot.
Kirishima let out a soft sigh. "Bakugou, I appreciate the small talk. You know I do. But you said we needed to talk."
"We do." Katsuki hesitated, his palms sweating. "I just… don't know where to start."
"How about the beginning?"
The beginning. Sure. But the beginning of what? The moment he lost his sense? His spiral of jealousy over Mina? Or the moment he realized he was in love with Kirishima?
Love.
The word stuck in his throat. He wanted to say it, to tell Eijirou that it took him time, but he finally realized he loved him, but it felt impossible. Too much. Too fast. What if it scared him away? You can't say something like that to your best friend out of nowhere, Eijirou himself said it.
"I'm sorry about last night" he started, the words spilling out before he could think twice. "I got drunk and said stupid things. And yeah, I remember every single one of them. Wish I don't. It'll make this easier."
Kirishima's expression shifted, his eyes full of something Katsuki could only describe as disappointment. "It's okay, bro. We've all said dumb stuff when we were wasted. I get it, you didn't mean it.”
But he did. Bakugou meant every single word. Should he admit it?
He had promise himself he'd talk to Eijirou honestly. No one deserved more than him, but that didn't mean Katsuki wasn't scare of telling him the truth.
"It was stupid, and it was wrong to make you promise something so ridiculous" Katsuki said, his voice cracking under the weight of his nerves. He forced himself to push through. "But… that doesn't mean I was lying."
"What?" Kirishima asked, his brows raising in confusion.
"I wasn't lying" Bakugou replied. "When I said I don't want you to love someone else."
"And?"
"And... when I said I wanted you to love me. I was being honest. I know it was awkward and probably unnecessary, but it was true. I'm sorry."
"What are you apologizing for?"
"What do you mean?"
"Yeah. What's your regret? To tell me, or to feel it?"
Katsuki wasn't expecting that answer at all.
"Does it matter?"
"It does to me."
"Okay then..." Bakugou took a moment to breathe before continuing. "I regret spilling something like that out of nowhere just because I was drunk. And I regret making things weird between us by being so pathetic. I mean, I know what you're thinking. I know everything is gonna change now because of me. I know you're trying to make things easier for me, looking for the perfect words to not break my heart because you care about me. And you care so much that sometimes it's overwhelming."
Kirishima let out a heavy sigh, but he didn't look stressed. In fact, it seemed like he'd shed some kind of invisible weight. He looked lighter.
And gorgeous.
Focus, Katsuki!
"You overwhelmed me too, Bakugou" he said. "I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. I'm not demanding anything from you. I know I did last night, but that was just me being selfish in my old classic Katsuki Bakugou way. You don't need to worry—"
"I can't believe it" Kirishima cut him off. "You're truly the dumbest dumb in the entire universe."
"Uncalled for! I mean, you might be right, but you shouldn't have said that!"
Kirishima burst out laughing at Bakugou's exasperation.
"I'm sorry, but I can't believe you think I've been sitting here looking for the right words to not break your heart, when I've been waiting for you to break mine this whole time."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Dude!" Eijirou exclaimed. "There's no way you don't get it already! I'm so obvious! I've always been so obvious! You think you acted pathetic last night? Just look at me! I slept on the floor because I didn't want to let your hand go! I went on a fake date with a gorgeous woman, talked about you the entire night, and then came home, our home, only to keep clinging to you!"
Bakugou felt his face flush violently, the heat rushing from his neck to his ears.
"Are you... confessing to me?" he asked, his voice unsure.
"No" Eijirou replied, throwing him off entirely. "If I were confessing, I'd say something like: dude, look at me. I love you. I've loved you forever. And sometimes I feel like I'll always love you."
Bakugou's mind flashed to a conversation they had in his car months ago, the day he decided to be honest with Deku.
Was Kirishima recycling those words, or had he truly felt this way all along?
"And it kills me not to tell you that I love you" Eijirou continued, his voice trembling with intensity. "Just like it killed me to sit in the dark for years, watching you love someone else."
His cheeks burned red, his eyes sparkled with nervous energy and a uncertain smile that made him look kind of creepy flashed all over his face. Katsuki knew that Eijirou would be mortified if he could see himself. But to Bakugou, he'd never looked more beautiful.
"Say something" Eijirou demanded, breaking the silence.
Katsuki's brain was frozen, useless. So, for once, he let his heart do the talking.
"I wish I could say I've loved you this way forever" he began, his voice low and tentative. "But I can't, because you're right, I'm the dumbest idiot in the entire universe, and I've never given you the attention you deserve. I'm selfish, and an asshole, and—"
"Come on, you're not—"
"—But you've always been there for me anyway" Bakugou continued, his voice trembling as he looked into Eijirou's eyes. "When I deserved to be left alone, you stuck around. You kept next to me when no one else wanted to tolerate me. And you know what? They were right. Deep down, you probably knew it too, but you stayed. You were my friend, even when I didn't deserve you."
He took a shaky breath, the emotions pouring out of him now, unstoppable.
"And now, you're telling me you've loved me all this time, and I still can’t figure out why." His lips curved into a small, unsure smile. "I don't even know when I started feeling this way about you, but I did. I do. What are the chances?"
Eijirou had never allowed himself to dream about Katsuki loving him back, not wanting to face the pain of knowing it was impossible. He told himself he was content just being Katsuki's friend, his sidekick, his partner in crime (not literally, of course). But now, hearing Bakugou's confession, he realized he'd never truly been happy. He'd only convinced himself he was. He didn't want to be just Bakugou's best friend, he wanted to be his boyfriend. Not partners, lovers. That would make him happy. Could they have something like that? It felt too good to be true.
Katsuki stood from his chair, leaning over the table, closing the distance between them. Eijirou mirrored his movement without hesitation.
"Bakugou" Eijirou called softly, almost murmuring. "If there's any part of you that wants to regret all of this, do it now" he said, incapable of believe that something like that was real. "I'll forget it ever happened, and we'll go back to being friends like nothing changed. I promise. But if you're serious... promise me you won't fall in love with anyone else."
Katsuki's sharp gaze softened. "Would you promise me the same?"
"I already have."
"It doesn't count. I was drunk."
"I wasn't" Kirishima reminded him with a soft smile. "I've tried, Bakugou. Multiple times. But I've never been able to love anyone else. Not like this."
Bakugou couldn't resist the urge to feel Kirishima's touch again. He grabbed his arm, pulling him up from the table and holding him close, just like the night before. But this time, he wasn't pathetically crying or stumbling because he was drunk. He was fully aware of his actions, and with that clarity, he made the choice to say:
"I really think you look stunning in red."
"What?" Kirishima blinked, confused. Was Bakugou trying to avoid the conversation they just had?
"And I love the way you style your hair," Katsuki continued, ignoring his reaction. "It makes you look badass. I totally get why every guy in the world has a crush on you. But for the record, I don't like it."
"Are you changing the subject?" Eijirou asked, his voice tinged with annoyance. But Katsuki didn't care. He was too focused on the words he wished to say for far too long.
"No, I'm not" Bakugou replied firmly. "I'm just listing all the reasons I like you. So you'll never doubt me when I promise you I'll never fall in love with anyone else either."
Eijirou's heart skipped a beat, and he suddenly felt like he couldn't catch his breath. What was he supposed to say to something like that?
Was it even real?
"Look at you..." Kirishima teased. "I thought you'll never say cheesy things like this, Dynamight."
Bakugou rolled his eyes, trying to look annoyed, but he was far too happy to pull it off.
"Shut up."
And then, Katsuki's lips caught Eijirou's in the middle of his smile. It should've felt strange, new, maybe even awkward. They were best friends, after all. But it wasn't.
It felt like their lips were made to fit together.
Eijirou wrapped his arms tightly around Katsuki, dazed by his touch, intoxicated by the closeness. Every time they pulled away for air, it only brought them back together, like a magnetic pull they couldn't resist. Bakugou held him firmly, but his touch was soft, careful, treating him like something fragile.
Treating him like he was special.
"Don't you dare kiss anyone else like this ever again" Katsuki murmured, breathless.
"I never have" Eijirou replied with a quiet smile. "And I never will."
Months later.
It had taken Eijirou days to convince his boyfriend to celebrate his birthday with a small gathering of their old friends at their apartment. But eventually, he succeeded.
He always does.
“Bakugou never says 'no' to Kirishima anyway. It's the boyfriend privilege” Kaminari liked to joke.
Eijirou still couldn't quite believe he was the one with those kinds of privileges.
"I can't believe Bakugou actually cooked all of this for us" Ochako exclaimed, taking another bite of cake and accidentally smearing cream on her lips. "It's so nice of him!"
“Tch. You thought I'd celebrate my birthday without good food, Cheeks?” Bakugou said, grabbing a napkin the moment he noticed the smudge on her face.
"It tastes like my sister's carrot cake" Todoroki noted, taking a bite.
"She gave the recipe to Katsuki" Kirishima replied casually.
Shouto raised an eyebrow with curiosity. "You're still talking to my sister?"
"Someone has to! She said you didn't call her this week, you bastard Half-and-half!"
"She complained to me about it too." Momo added with a soft laugh.
Then Todoroki sighed, exasperated. "I'll call her. I've been busy lately, that's all."
"Give him a break, guys" Sero said, draping an arm over Todoroki's shoulders. "Pro Hero number two has got a packed schedule."
"Hey! We said no work talk at Kacchan's birthday!" Izuku cut in, handing out beers from the fridge. He gave them all a pointed look, ensuring they stayed on topic.
"Fine, fine" Todoroki muttered, taking a sip of his drink.
"We should never talk about work, period" Kaminari declared. "We should talk about our lives! I'll go first!" He dramatically raised his left hand, showing off a shining ring.
Bakugou rolled his eyes, already unimpressed. "You're the first one getting engaged, we get it!"
"Well, at least until Jirou realizes she's out of your league" Mina teased, smirking.
But Kyouka looked more offended than Kaminari.
"It'll be too late by then!" he replied.
"Don't say that!" Jirou scolded him. "I'm not out of your league at all. I will never lower my standards."
Kaminari grinned and pulled her into a hug, planting a soft kiss on her forehead.
"Who's going to be next, huh?" Uraraka asked, genuine curiosity in her voice. Immediately, all their friends turned to look at her with suspicion. She flushed red. "Don't look at me like that! I didn't mean—"
"I can't believe your girlfriend is begging you to propose in front of all of us, you freaking nerd" Bakugou cut in, smirking as he exposed Izuku.
Izuku's face turned a deep shade of crimson. "Kacchan!"
"You should do something about it" Bakugou added.
"Bakugou! I wasn't asking him to propose! It was just a question!"
"So... you don't want me to propose?" Izuku asked softly, brushing some hair out of her face.
Uraraka covered her face with her hands, feeling embarrassed as her whole body started to float. Everyone burst out laughing at her reaction.
"Leave her alone" Kirishima said, trying to sound serious, but he was clearly having fun. Then he added, "Or better yet... tell me, what would you do about it?"
It was Katsuki's turn to blush. His boyfriend let out a soft laugh, making fun of him.
"Not so funny now, huh?" Todoroki said with a rare smirk.
Momo looked at him, smiling as she decided to join in. "So, Shouto, would you propose to me?"
"Yeah, I will" he answered calmly, not bothered by the question. His girlfriend froze in surprise. "Sorry, should I have said 'no'?"
"No, no," Momo said quickly, her cheeks turning pink. "I just... kinda was expecting for you to freak out."
"Why would I freak out about marrying the woman I love?" Todoroki replied, his voice steady.
Sero groaned, throwing his hands up. "Dude, you're making the rest of us look bad!"
"Yeah, the bar is way too high after Todoroki said that" Mina added with a laugh.
The group kept talking about marriage and kids. It felt strange to think about those "grown-up" things, but some of them found out they actually liked the idea.
But at some point, Katsuki stopped paying attention, feeling a little overwhelmed. He went straight to his safe space, the kitchen. He needed some quiet, so he pretended to be busy while trying to clear his head.
"You okay?" Eijirou's voice broke the silence. Katsuki jumped a little as his boyfriend came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist.
"Never better" Bakugou said with a small smile. "Just tired. They're so loud" he muttered.
"Yeah, but it wouldn't be them if they weren't" Kirishima said with a laugh. Then his voice turned softer. "Are you sure that's all?"
"You're not going to give up, huh?"
"Do I look like someone who does that?" Kirishima asked, pulling his boyfriend so they were facing each other. "Talk to me."
Bakugou felt a little embarrassed. "It's just... I'm kind of worried about the whole marriage thing" he admitted, surprising his boyfriend.
"Katsuki, it was a joke. I didn't mean to rush you or make it feel like a demand."
"I know that, dumbass" Bakugou replied.
"Then why are you so worried?"
"Because I never realized that something as big as marriage was even an option before" he admitted. "I know it sounds corny, but I always thought I shouldn't have to think about something like that. But now, it's different because I have you. Everything it's different in the best way possible."
"Katsuki..." Kirishima muttered, touched.
"And I also noticed that we've never really talked about it, so I have no idea what page you are in. And I don't even know what I think about it. It's weird. "
"It's not weird, I get it" Eijirou said softly. "Maybe we haven't talked about it before, but we can now. Or not. We can talk about it later. That's the best part of knowing we have a future together. We've got all the time in the world."
Kirishima offered a soft smile, and Bakugou gave one back without even realizing it. He'd gotten so used to smiling around Eijirou that it felt natural now, like breathing.
"How can you be so sure about that?"
"I just know" Kirishima replied, brushing his hand gently against Bakugou's cheek. "Besides, you promised me you would never fall in love with anyone else. Don't even think about breaking that promise!"
"Tch. Like I'd ever break it" Bakugou scoffed. "You're stuck with me forever."
Kirishima leaned in, capturing his boyfriend's lips in a soft kiss that was filled with unspoken promises, trust, and the warmth of the years they had already shared as friends, and the many more they would as lovers.
"Mhm, guys?" Denki called, clearing his throat.
"Don't you see I'm kissing my boyfriend, Dunce-face? Get lost!" Bakugou snapped.
Kaminari rolled his eyes and shifted his attention to Kirishima, clearly trying to push Bakugou's buttons. "Some of us have to go. There's a villain causing trouble on the main street. Are you coming?"
"You need all of us for a minor villain?" Bakugou mocked.
"Actually, I was calling just Red Riot" Kaminari replied. It was a lie, but he wasn't about to admit he wanted both of his friends to come. Just like Bakugou wouldn't admit he wanted to join them. "You can come too, though. We need a ride."
"If the villain doesn't kill you, I will" Bakugou growled.
"Kacchan! Guys!" Izuku shouted, running in from the living room. "Hurry up! Shouto, Momo, Jirou, and Ochako already left!"
"It sounds serious" Kirishima said, his tone shifting.
"What the hell are we waiting for, then? Let's move!" Bakugou barked, already heading for the door.
It might have sounded serious, but it wasn't at all. They weren't facing tragedies anymore, not like the ones they had confronted years ago, back when they were just kids fighting in a war they never asked for.
Still, they all enjoyed a little bit of drama. Especially Bakugou, who jumped across the city with his friends following close behind, just like the old days.
"See, Kacchan? I told you we should patrol together!" Izuku shouted. Bakugou rolled his eyes dramatically, trying, and failing, to hide a small smile. He remembered the time Deku first suggested they patrol together. Back then, it frustrated him so much. But now? It didn't feel so bad.
"Like I'd want to be seen patrolling with losers like all of you!"
"That includes me?" Kirishima asked, teasing. Bakugou's cheeks turned red in an instant, and their friends sped up, leaving the couple a bit of space before they reached the main street.
"Stop asking dumb questions and focus, or you're gonna get hurt" Bakugou grumbled.
"I'll be fine! I'm almost invincible, remember?" Kirishima replied, flashing a smile.
"But you're not!" Bakugou snapped.
"Oh, so you are worried about me?"
"I just don't want to be the one taking care of your injuries at home" Bakugou shot back, hesitating. "And... we need to have that marriage and kids talk soon, so don't you dare get hurt!"
Kirishima's eyes looked at Bakugou's. For a moment, they just lost at each other's sights, before turning their attention to the fight ahead.
"Be safe" Eijirou whispered, his voice barely audible over the chaos. But Katsuki didn't need to hear him' he could read the words on his lips.
In that exact moment, Bakugou felt safe.
And then he realized he always had, with Eijirou right by his side.