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Roderich did not do well in the winter. Other people might’ve seen it as an enchanting wonderland, but to Roderich, snow only meant freezing winds in his face and two hour delays to everything.
Granted, he did not fare much better in the summer, given his pale complexion, but at least in the summertime he didn’t have to feel like he was constantly drowning under twenty layers of clothing—which as far as he was concerned, each and every one of them was absolutely necessary.
“Oh…honey….”
Erzsébet stopped short as soon as she entered the room, her eyebrows drawing together in sympathetic amusement. Her soft white scarf was tucked neatly into her red pea jacket, long brunette hair tumbling over her shoulders. Unlike Roderich, she had on a sensible outfit that didn’t make her look like an overstuff marshmallow. In fact, she looked ready for a Lifetime Original.
Roderich, on the other hand, resembled a little kid bundled up to play by his overprotective mother. He hadn’t even bothered to tuck his scarf in, instead wearing the garment wrapped around his neck so that it covered his mouth. His glasses were slipping down his nose, but Roderich wasn’t quite sure if he could push them up without messing something up in his attire. He glared over the tops of them instead.
“You know I get cold easily,” he said defensively.
The scarf over his mouth somewhat dampened the effect.
Erzsébet hid her smile under one mitten-covered hand. “I know,” she replied. “You just look like you’re ready for a new ice age in that get up. You know it’s only thirty degrees out, right?”
Roderich made a face. “That’s below freezing, Erzsi!”
“Oh hush,” she waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t be such a baby. I don’t know how you got through winters back home when we were younger,” she laughed.
Roderich grumbled and pulled his scarf tighter before stuffing his gloved hands into the pockets. “Back home I didn’t have to walk to classes three times a day.”
Erzsébet snorted. “Yeah, you just had to walk to school at seven in the morning instead.”
The thought of it made Roderich shudder. Of course, back home, he had been living comfortably under his parents’ wealth and knew that he had a nice warm house to return to. Here he just had a tentative promise that the power wouldn’t go out again for the fifth time that semester. Plus when he was back home, walking with friends had always made the trek more bearable.
Or unbearable, when it came to a certain Gilbert Beilschmidt….
Roderich winced at the name. Ever since the frat party a few weeks back they’d hardly spoken to each other. He was pretty sure the other was avoiding him, although with finals just around the corner Roderich was happy to use the busier time as an excuse to avoid Gilbert equally so.
Even if he didn’t show it, he did regret that it had had to end as it did. Their arrangement had been rather convenient, and after knowing Gilbert for most of his life, it was odd not having the German around.
He supposed the problem with their arrangement was that it had blurred the line between “friends” and “benefits” too much. They had already started out as friends (or “frenemies,” as Gilbert, for some inane reason, liked to call them)—officially adding the benefits part just made things too hard to keep track.
And Roderich wasn’t naïve. He had known there was a risk going into their agreement from the beginning, but part of him had still hoped that his concerns were simply the result of overthinking things. Gilbert had been the one to suggest the arrangement in the first place; it was the first time they had slept together since high school and in the pleasant afterglow that came after rather satisfying sex, Roderich had said yes.
He should have listened to his gut. That bad feeling in the pit of his stomach telling him that this was a bad idea.
Well, Erzsébet always did say that he had a bad habit of looking at things in hindsight….
As if sensing what he was thinking, Erzsébet turned to him at that moment to ask, “So, uh, how have things with Gilbert been going?”
Roderich’s already scowling face soured even further. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he said moodily.
Erzsébet sighed. “You know, refusing to talk about it is only going to make things worse,” she reprimanded gently. She tried to catch his eye but Roderich refused, staring steadfastly at the gray asphalt ahead of him as they walked. A few palsy flakes of snow were already beginning to fall.
“Roderich….”
“It’s fine. It’s probably for the better. You’ve said it yourself that our arrangement was an accident waiting to happen,” he shrugged.
“I know” she sighed, “but I didn’t want it to end like this. You two have been friends for so long…I just didn’t want either of you to get hurt.”
Roderich scuffed the toe of his shoe against the pavement and muttered a curse under his breath.
“It’s fine,” he repeated. “It’s not like we even liked each other that much as friends, anyway. We honestly just argued most of the time.”
Erzsébet was perceptive enough to see through his apathetic tone. She hid her sympathetic look behind a veil of her long brunette hair. “Even so,” she said, picking her words carefully, “you two were still close. We’ve all known each other since we were kids, and it can be hard to lose a friend like that.”
Roderich did feel a guilty twinge at that. He, Gilbert, and Erzsébet had been a rather tightknit trio ever since his family had first moved to New Jersey from Ohio. They had always had their ups and downs, but Roderich knew it was probably eating at Erzsébet to be caught in the middle of the two boys feuding. Gilbert had never been quite as close to Erzsébet since the rather uncomfortable end to their relationship Junior year of high school, but Erzsébet still cared about the pale-haired German and Roderich had no doubt that the feeling was mutual.
He let out a tired breath. “I know,” he said, “and I apologize that you have to deal with this….You always were the mature one between the three of us.”
“Of course I am,” Erzsébet snorted, setting her shoulders back and tossing her hair behind one shoulder. “I don’t know why people always think it’s you.”
“My quiet demeanor as a child helped create that impression,” he explained, a tug at the corner of his lips giving the smallest indication of a nostalgic smile.
“People only thought you were the quiet one because you never joined in on Gil and I’s roughhousing,” she retorted. “They didn’t know the true Roderich Edelstein who could kick and scream his way through fits like the best of them.”
“Not often!” Roderich protested.
“Of course not, darling.”
The whoosh of automatic door sweeping open alerted Roderich to the fact that they had somehow arrived at the grocery store without freezing to death. He watched the sleepy bustle of mid-afternoon patrons wander up and down the aisles feeling a like he’d just woken up from a dream and had somehow managed to sleepwalk his entire way to the store. The door opened again as an elderly lady leaning on her cart slowly pushed by and Roderich felt himself shiver.
“You really should talk to him,” Erzsébet’s voice said softly next to him. She reached out to give his gloved hands a brief squeeze and Roderich’s gaze slid down to meet her sympathetic one. “He deserves at least that.”
Roderich’s throat felt dry. “We’ll see,” he managed.
Erzsébet gave him a small smile. “I guess that’s the best I can hope for with you two, huh?” she humored. He didn’t miss the sad tone in her words.
“I’m sorry,” Roderich said.
“You’re not,” she said. “Not yet.”
And Roderich didn’t know what to say.