Chapter Text
Present Day
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Crowley hesitated outside of the door of Aziraphale’s - no Muriel’s, fuck - bookshop. It’s been a year since the incident. Since his cold heart broke more than what he thought was possible. Well, he thought a lot of things, and most of them turned out wrong. But hopefully, maybe, this was one of the few times he was right.
(1 year earlier)
Crowley walked into the oh-so-familiar coffee shop a few days (or was it weeks? Did it matter?) after Aziraphale had gone back to Heaven instead of him.
It felt odd not feeling his holiness on Earth anymore. It almost was like the burning bookshop again (that was RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET), but instead of fire, it was Metatron. And for some reason, this hurt more. No one forcefully took his angel away. It was all him. Aziraphale chose Heaven over him. Aziraphale chose the people who hurt him, who manipulated him, who tried to kill him, over Crowley.
Talk about a punch to the gut.
“So, how was it?” Nina’s voice brought the demon back to the present. Maggie was behind her taking orders from customers, stealing nervous glances at him.
Crowley blinked himself out of his thoughts, “Uh, what?”
“The talk,” Nina emphasized, crossing her arms.
“Oh, that, um,”
“Hold on-” He heard Maggie quickly mutter behind the counter before coming over.
“Hello Crowley, you back already? I would have thought you and Aziraphale would have stayed longer. Speaking of which, where is he?” Maggie asked as soon as she was in earshot of the two.
Crowley thought for a minute as he tried to catch up with Maggie’s sudden need to speak as quickly as she did, “About that…”
The couple looked expectantly at Crowley.
“He left me. Alone. On Earth. Because he wanted to stick to… Heaven instead of...ngk” The demon said, trying to block out any thoughts about the incident. That’s what he was starting to call it. The incident. It made it easier to ignore. Or deal with. Handle. Whatever.
They sat there in silence for a minute, letting the pregnant pause settle between them.
“Do you want a drink?” Nina offered, “You look like you need a drink.”
Crowley looked up at her (how long was his head down?) and tried his best to answer, “six shots-”
“Of espresso in a big cup,” Nina finished, “yeah, I know.”
While Nina made his drink behind the counter, Maggie led him to one of the few open tables. She half-heartedly attempted to pry some information out of him, but was far from successful. The demon refused to let a word out before his drink, and his brain was more than compliant to block out any unwanted conversations he didn’t want to hear.
It just felt… fuzzy. Like he was underwater or out of focus somehow. His subconscious seemed empty. Like there was something missing. Like the rope he always held on to was suddenly gone. Like the ground was pulled from underneath him, and he hasn’t mustered the courage to get up again. Like he didn’t have the strength to.
Some corner of his mind supplied it was the absence of Aziraphaple. The small, logical part of him said it was the lack of the constant angelic feeling on Earth. The rest of him told him to ignore it.
“Crowley?” He heard someone distantly say. It couldn’t be important, right?
“Crowley?” Now that was a different voice. Odd.
“Is he okay?” That might be something to worry about. Of course he was okay, why wouldn’t he be? (Because Aziraphale is gone.) (The incident)
“..espressoinabig cup..”
“Oh, uh, yeah. Thanks.” Crowley looked up and smiled and Nina and Maggie, who had very concerned looks on their faces. There was a mug in front of him. A big one. Must be his drink.
He took a sip, and dull energy surged through him. Guess it was.
How much time had passed? (Does it matter?) (Probably) (Maybe) (Not really)
“So what… happened?” Maggie asked, putting her hand halfway across the table.
“We talked.” Crowley said, unhelpfully, “he left. Well, I left him first. He just… stopped me. He said some things. I did some things. He’s gone, and I’m here.”
“So you guys..” Nina tried to fill in.
“He left me.” Crowley whispered to himself, trying to process it. He had gone on a drive around the area for a week, which was supposed to help him. But it didn’t. He was sure he was ready. But he wasn’t. (So wasn’t Aziraphale.) Far from it. (He held him so close.) He might never be.
“Do you…?” Nina cautiously asked.
“Do I what?” the demon snapped, his old self coming back in waves.
“What she means is,” Maggie smiled at him, “that maybe - if you wanted, of course - we could… let you stay here. If you would like. Or, preferably, at one of our houses. That might be nicer.”
“I’m fine,” Crowley insisted.
“You’re not,” Nina said back, “I mean look at yourself! You and your partner have a disagreement-”
“Divorce,” the demon cut in.
“-you go missing for a week, and come back here looking like a lost dog! I may have only met you a few months ago, but anyone in their right mind would know that you need desperate help. And thankfully, you have us.”
“I don’t need your help.” Crowley practically growled, as he got up from his chair.
This was stupid, his mind insisted. I don’t need them, and I certainly don’t need Aziraphale. The next thing he knew, the coffee shop door slammed shut behind him as he marched towards his car.
“-sake, come back here!” Nina called back, running after him.
Ignore them, his mind demanded.
“Crowley! Please!” Maggie quickly followed.
But for some reason, just as he was opening the door to his car, his stupid body decided to stop. As if it were stuck in place. Odd. His hand was still on the door when his body sighed and decided to look back at the two shopkeepers. Maybe he should…
No.
Yes.
Maybe?
It might be rude to refuse…
But he’s a demon.
(“You’re the bad guys")
But he’s on his own side.
(“There is no our side!” “Sounds lonely.” “We can be together!”)
“Alright, fine,” Crowley said as he sauntered back into the coffeeshop, “I’ll stay with you.”
The two girls smiled at that.
The demon glowered, “But only until Shax moves out.”
They smiled a bit less at that.