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Sleeping was still hard for Lucanis most nights. He’d gotten better at it since he’d finally opened up fully about his feelings for Aurelia and entered a mostly-peaceful agreement with Spite, but the temptation to stay awake fueled by nothing but coffee still gnawed at him sometimes. Those nights, he tried his best to sneak out of bed without waking her.
He considered it a blessing that Aurelia could sleep through explosions - something he’d found out quite literally once when they were resting on the Rivaini coast with Taash. She’d fallen asleep and he couldn’t bear waking her when she was getting good rest for once, and Taash had agreed. The Antaam, though, were not too far away, and they set off a barrel of gaatlock that shook him in his chest.
Aurelia didn’t wake up until they tried to get her up and moving to deal with them.
What Lucanis hadn’t realized, though, was that Auri would wake up because she was hungry - something cooking or being baked, with the aroma wafting through the air, would get her out of bed better than anything else, and nothing was more tantalizing than the smell of coffee.
Most nights, he was able to work himself back to a point where sleep would come quickly - he’d work at the desk in his office by candlelight, ignoring Spite as he relished in Lucanis’ refusal to go lie in bed with a beautiful woman. But this night was different, and he padded down to the kitchen in his silk robe and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Coffee,” he mumbled to himself, and then set to work brewing it.
The smell of freshly-brewed Antivan coffee filled the air slowly, and he closed his eyes a few times and inhaled deeply to enjoy it. Treviso had changed so much since he’d been taken to the Ossuary, but this? This still felt like home.
With the coffee made and a cup of it warming his hands, he headed back to his desk. He had no plans to actually attempt Crow business - he knew he was in no state to do so. He just wanted the semblance of normalcy the desk would provide, in hopes that it would shut his brain off enough to get rest. He lit two candles before he sat down; the letters on his desk were shoved to the side, replaced by a romance novel Bellara had recommended him during her last visit. Some of the details about swordplay were wrong, but the chemistry between the leads was fantastic, and he tried to focus on reading instead of the exhaustion weighing his limbs down.
Ten minutes later, he heard the bedroom door open and soft, dragging footsteps approach.
“Luca?”
Aurelia’s voice was thick with sleep, but quiet so as not to disturb him. Her hair was a mess, sticking out all around her head, and there were still lines on her cheek from the pillowcase. Despite that, and despite the fact that she was wearing brightly colored silk shorts and his old green sweater, she looked beautiful, and he couldn’t help but smile.
“Auri, what are you doing awake? Go back to sleep, amore mio.”
“Smelled coffee,” she admitted, shuffling over to his desk and pointing at the cup. “What are you doing awake, Lucanis?”
He shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep, so I figured I would move out here to stay awake. Like I used to. Maybe get some reading done, and try not to disturb you - though I see that failed.”
Auri’s nose scrunched up at that, and he fought the urge to lean forward and kiss it. “‘S dumb,” she told him, gently pushing on the back of his chair a few times. It didn’t budge, but Lucanis knew what she was trying to do, and he scooted it back enough that she could sit herself in his lap, curling close to his chest.
His heart nearly burst right then; Spite was extremely pleased to have her so close, and he didn’t even complain when Lucanis kissed the top of her head.
“Should come back to bed,” she mumbled, her face tucking into Lucanis’ neck. “Sleep’s important, amatus, ‘n’ you need it ‘cause you’re important.”
Maker, but she was everything to him. “I know,” he told her, kissing her hair again. “Caterina would have my head if she noticed I was anything less than perfect.”
He felt more than saw Auri’s nose scrunch as she frowned against his neck. “No,” she told him, her tone stern and much clearer than it was just moments ago because of it. “You’re important ‘cause I love you and I need you around. Stop being a Talon while I’m in your lap.”
“Of course, mi spiace, bella.”
“Mmm. Better.”
He held her close for a few quiet moments, reveling in her warmth and how at peace he felt with her in his arms - most days, the mantle of First Talon was heavy on his shoulders, or the reality of what Illario had done to him was hard to process, but all of that melted away when they were like this. Years ago, he would’ve thought it impossible for anything to make him feel like this.
Yet here she was, an impossible woman in so many ways, one who loved him deeply even though she had reasons not to, half-asleep in his arms.
It wasn’t long before Auri was snoring softly against his neck, her body a bit heavier against him because she wasn’t trying to keep her full weight off of him anymore. Lucanis knew he’d likely struggle to carry her back to bed, and she had very effectively gotten in the way of him doing any more reading for the night.
His back would hate him in the morning, but he had no choice but to accept his fate; he bookmarked his page, blew out the candles, and settled in. Lucanis closed his eyes and laid his head against her own, the warmth and weight and comforting scent of her hair enough to silence his mind and allow him to drift off.