Chapter Text
Viktor knew the Greek pantheon was barmy, but he had no idea they were this bloody barmy.
Ezra Ferris was a traumatized little half-blood who had no idea how traumatized he was.
Terry Boot, on the other hand, was a son of Athena who was very aware. He was doing everything he could in order to protect his best mate.
I suppose I'm in charge of them, Viktor thought. Since I'm six years older.
When Terry Boot fell asleep on the couch, Ezra made sure to lay the boy out horizontally with a pillow under his neck.
Then Ezra briskly stood up and walked away from Terry Boot.
"Hmm," Ezra said, thoughtfully. "This is very strange indeed. What did you say was the matter with Jenny and Theo? Did they have a lover's spat?"
"A lover's spat?" Viktor said.
"Those two are quite silly, at times," Ezra said, chuckling. "They are very fond of each other. They are very close?"
"Alright?" Viktor said. "You mean... they are in a relationship?"
"Yes!" Ezra said. "However, they are very secretive. They fear the other Hargreeves Academy students will accuse them of being incestuous."
"Huh?" Viktor said, blinking in confusion. "Why would they be called incestuous?"
"Well, you see," Ezra said. "Jenny and Theo are the only Asian students at the Hargreeves Academy. Apart from the Patel twins, I should say. However, the Patel twins have recently been re-categorized as Indian. Therefore, they are no longer Asian. For some reason."
"What the hell are you saying?" Viktor said, scowling.
"You have to understand," Ezra said, patiently. "The Hargreeves Academy students are silly children. They bully each other for silly reasons? And, because they are silly children, they are paranoid about bullies even when they aren't getting bullied?"
"Alright?" Viktor said.
"Theo has been in love with Jenny since the moment he laid eyes on her," Ezra said, smiling fondly. "I played match maker for them. At first, Jenny was not impressed by Theo. However, when I convinced Theo to share his poetry with her, she was very impressed."
"Bloody hell," Viktor said, huffing. "You really are Cupid, aren't you? For every single student at the Hargreeves Academy. You treat yourself like their own personal Cupid?"
"Of course," Ezra said, puffing himself up proudly. "I'm the eldest son of Venus."
"No!" Viktor said. "You aren’t!"
"Oh?" Ezra said, tilting his head. "Dame Gothel said I was."
"Bollocks!" Viktor said. "That woman is a witch and everything she says is bullocks!"
"Very well?" Ezra said. "But Cupid is only one of my nicknames. I will allow you to call me Ezra if that's what you prefer?"
Viktor sighed.
"Come here, little boy," Ezra said, coaxingly opening his arms. "Allow me to hug you?"
Begrudgingly, Viktor stepped forward.
He gave Ezra a hug.
"There there," Ezra said, softly, while rubbing soothing circles into Viktor's back. "Please remain calm? I recognize that I look rather young, but I'm immortal. I'm much older than I look."
Viktor melted into the hug.
Then he began crying; pathetically sniffling like a little kid.
"My other nickname is Peter Pan," Ezra said. "Would you like to be one of my lost boys?"
"Yes!" Viktor said. "Please rescue me!"
"Understood," Ezra said. "Please follow the leader. Terry Boot is very intelligent. He is a son of Athena. A young son of Athena, but very intelligent."
Viktor sniffed.
"Aren't you the leader?" Viktor said.
"Yessir," Ezra said. "But I'm just a son of Venus. Terry Boot is the son of Minerva. Please trust him to be wise beyond his years?"
"Okay," Viktor said, squeezing Ezra tightly. "I'll be nice to Terry Boot."
"Thank you," Ezra said.
Then Ezra led Viktor to the couch Terry was sleeping on.
Gently, Ezra gave Terry a kiss on his forehead.
Terry woke up.
He smiled at Viktor and opened his arms.
"Platonic mates?" Terry said, sleepily. "Cuddle as friends?"
Viktor nodded.
He got onto the couch with Terry and cuddled with him.
Ezra used his powers to teleport.
"Where did he go?" Viktor said, pouting.
"He's probably looking for a Wendy Darling," Terry said. "He'll come back when he finds one."
A few minutes later, Ezra rematerialized with a bright flash of green light.
He was holding hands with Jenny Hargreeves and Theo Byun.
"Viktor!' Theo cried. "I'm so glad you're safe this time!"
Viktor sat up. "Huh?"
Theo charged forward and gave Viktor a tight hug.
"Please call me Benny Bluejay!" Theo said. "I promise to be a good Number Five this time!"
"No need for all that, Ben," Ezra said, gently. "You never have to return to the Hargreeves Academy. Forget about the ranking system."
"Yessir!" Theo said, bursting into tears. "Thank you, Peter! I love you!"
"I love you too, Ben," Ezra said. "Let's have ourselves a wholesome sleepover?"
The five of them gathered as many blankets and pillows as they could find. They made a fort. Then they all crawled inside and cuddled up together.
Viktor was in between Theo and Ezra.
"This is where you belong," Theo growled. "You're our favorite brother. You got it?"
"Okay!" Viktor said. "Please stop dying!"
"Okay!" Theo said. "Please stop stealing time travel machines!"
"Got it!" Viktor said.
He buried his face in the crook of Theo's neck.