Chapter Text
Dejected, Jim let himself sink into his car seat. What had he been thinking to take Hank with him to his family, just for his suspicions to be confirmed? Now he sat here, in front of the shards of his existence, next to a man he barely knew. Hank had been a real mental support for him in the last few hours, especially on his way back to Jemima, but now he had to drive the man back so he could work tomorrow, without even knowing where he would be staying himself.
“Hey, you alright?” The question made Jim look up, into the eyes of a very worried-looking Hank who was smiling with a deep understanding of what Jim was going through right now. He shrugged, starting the motor instead of answering right away. Only when they were on the road, he reluctantly answered: “you know… it’s weird because Jemima was right, in a way I’ve always known, but still… the confirmation hurt.” Hank nodded, unsure of what to say. He knew how Jim felt, had gone through the same disappointment-anger-confusion-mixture and still he didn’t know what to say, anxious that his attempts of comfort would upset the other man.
After several quiet minutes, Jim finally cleared his throat to say: “Would you mind putting on some music?” Hank nodded; his phone still connected to the cars Bluetooth from their first drive. In the hopes of cheering the other man up a bit, Hank chose some calm but happy songs and after a few minutes he realized how Jim was quietly humming along. A tension he hadn´t even been aware of left his body and he allowed himself to relax into his seat.
They didn´t really talk much during the rest of the drive. Only when Jim steered his car down the street where Hank lived, it occurred to the bartender to ask: “Where are you going to stay this night?” The younger man stared at the street in front of him, thinking for a few seconds before reluctantly answering: “I honestly have no idea. Maybe I´ll just sleep in the car… I don´t want to see Jemima right now.” They drove down the road in silence, it was only when Jim had stopped the engine and Hank was about to get out of the car that he offered: “You can stay at the inn for another day, you know? Or… just stay with us, we have a guest room.”
“Us?”, Jim asked, looking up. “Oh yeah, me and Gareth, you met him at the inn, we live here together” Hank vaguely gestured towards the house they were parked in front of. After a few seconds of heavy silence, Jim looked up at the other man, replying quietly: “I´d actually really like to stay here, if Gareth is fine with it.” “I´m sure he is”, Hank reassured immediately, relieved that he had been able to convince the man not to sleep in his car.
They both grabbed their stuff. Jim, who still had the bag with him he had taken on his business trip, trotted after Hank, who unlocked the front door and led the other man into his home. While shrugging off his jacket and slipping out of his shoes, Jim felt very out of place. He really didn´t want to be alone with his thoughts right now so he had gladly taken Hank up on his offer, but being here, in the flat of what was basically a couple of strangers, was weird.
After sheepishly following Hank into the guest bedroom and placing his bag on the bed, the older man was about to leave the room when Jim managed to quietly ask: "Could you... stay?" After a second, he flinched and felt the need to add: "I mean I just... Maybe to talk some more? I just don´t want to be alone right now... Only if it’s okay with you though!"
"Hey, it´s alright!", the other man answered with a smile, "you can join me in the living room, I was planning on watching a series or something until Gareth comes home but we can talk as well if you want to." Jim nodded with relief, followed the other man and sat down on the couch beside him. Hank looked at him with a wary smile, but it took Jim a few seconds to gather his thoughts and actually put his emotions into a coherent sentence:
"You know I´m just so confused about my feelings right now. Am I angry? Should I be angry? Would it help if I was? Or should I be crying? I´ve never been cheated on before but... you know..." he staggered and fiddled with his fingers, trying to find the right words, "I´m kinda... scared by how little I care about all of this somehow? The only thing I´m actually afraid of is that I won´t see Peter as much anymore. But would he even want to keep seeing me? I´m not his real dad after all..."
Jims shoulders slumped forwards; having said all of this out loud made him somehow feel like he was a balloon and someone had let all his air out. Not necessarily in a bad way though - finally the tension that had kept him from breathing properly during the last few hours was gone. And with this wave of relief washing over him, he suddenly couldn´t stop the tears welling up from his eyes. "What the fuck", he murmured, half laughing, half frustrated, while wiping his eyes with his sleeve, "I just said I´m not even sad and now..." he let out a laugh of exasperation and shook his head, when a hand was placed on his shoulder.
"Hey, it´s okay", he heard Hank say, while the man offered him a tissue, "you don´t need a reason to cry, you had a really stressful day so don´t worry!" Jim took a few seconds to just breathe and calm himself down before continuing his train of thoughts: "Thinking about it now, it´s probably been clear for quite some time that this would happen at some point... Jemima and I have been more of roommates than partners for at least two years now. And neither of us was trying to fix it which could have been a sign... But somehow I still feel so much lonelier now."
Surprised about the fact that he had just opened up so much about such an intimate topic, Jim let himself sink against the backrest of the couch and murmured: "But it is what it is now... maybe it´s for the best after all." "Oh I´m sure it is", Hank answered with a smile, "Whatever you decide on doing next, at least you´re not stuck in an unhappy relationship anymore!" Jim nodded pensively and was about to say some more, as he heard a key being turned in the apartment door´s lock. Gareth came in with a "Hey love, I´m home, how-" but stopped himself when he saw the unfamiliar man on his couch.
Jim let out a quiet "hi", wanting nothing more than to hide his face in his hands and not deal with this awkward situation but Hank quickly explained what was going on, reminding Gareth of the fact that he had already heard part of Jims story at the bar. Very quickly the confused look on his face gave way to one of sympathy. "Alright, that´s too bad", he murmured, "but you can stay here of course, we never use the guest room anyways."
Jim gave him a thankful nod and the man walked off to the kitchen, leaving the two sitting on the couch alone again. The younger man let out a sigh, shaking his head. For a few moments, the silence between the two grew louder and louder until Jim murmured: "What am I even supposed to do now though? Like... where do I go? And...", he trailed off, so many different tasks flashing through his mind, stuff he would have to take care of now, so much work it felt exhausting to even think about it.
Hank seemed to sense where his mind had wandered off to though, because he rubbed the other man´s arm and said: "Hey, don´t worry about that too much now, you´re not alone in this. And you don´t have to deal with all of this right now, just try to calm down a bit and we´ll figure something out tomorrow. Okay?" Jim looked up into the other man´s face, being overwhelmed with an intense rush of gratitude. He gave Hank a nod and a half-hearted smile while trying to actually convince himself that he didn´t have to worry about these things right now.
"Hey, I quickly warmed this up", he heard Gareth say, who had reappeared in the living room door, "I don´t know if you´re hungry but there should be enough for the three of us. It´s just spaghetti from yesterday."
Baffled, Jim looked at the man, who was now walking towards the coffee table, as he felt tears well up in his eyes again. "Thank you". His voice broke and he tried to hide his face in his hands, when Gareth walked around the table, gave him a pat on his shoulder and said: "Oh don´t worry, it´s the least I could do." A mixture of embarrassment and gratitude made a quiet sob escape Jim´s throat and, with the tiniest voice, he managed to ask: "could I... have a hug?"
With a warm smile, Hank nodded and Jim let himself rest his head on the other man’s shoulder, while Gareth sat down next to him, patting his arm. He wasn´t even trying to hold back his tears anymore. He allowed himself to actually sob - and while still feeling incredibly unsure about the future, very confused about his emotions and overall completely exhausted, having the other two care about him so much filled him with a strange sort of comfort.