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Seongmin hears the front door open and shut, through the pop music playing through his headphones. So much for being noise-cancelling. Whoever’s just arrived back to the dorm is bound to swing open his door and distract him. This essay has been tormenting his to-do list for weeks, so if he doesn’t finish tonight, he’s gonna have to spend the last day of his miserable four-day break typing away on his laptop.
Thankfully, he’s not disturbed for the next hour or so, hearing nothing more than the sound of the shower running.
Until he hears a weak knock at his door. It’s an unfamiliar rhythm, oddly enough.
“Mm?” Seongmin calls, glancing towards the door.
It opens, but nothing meets his eyes. Not until he shifts his gaze down, and finds a small child standing there, thumb in mouth. Seongmin just shrieks in response to the sight, and the toddler runs towards him, eyes teary.
“What happened?” Taeyoung’s voice speaks up, and he ducks his head inside, his jaw dropping.
Seongmin’s eyes widen. “You don’t know how this kid got in here?” he hisses.
Taeyoung shakes his head, crouching down. “Who else is home?”
“I have no clue,” Seongmin huffs, heaving himself out of his chair. The child clings onto his leg, significantly hampering his ability to walk. Seongmin reaches down, attempting and failing to pry those chubby fingers off. “Get off, come on.”
Taeyoung rushes off and returns, red in the face. “Nobody else is here, but Jungmo-hyung’s bed isn’t made.”
“Why does that not surprise me?” Seongmin scoffs.
“I mean, doesn’t that look like him? He’s even wearing Jungmo’s pyjamas, but it’s a tiny version,” Taeyoung says, shuffling forward. He cups the kid’s cheeks, squinting at him.
“Whoever it is, can you get him off me?” Seongmin groans, shaking his leg.
Taeyoung scoops him up into his arms, his brow furrowed. “Why does this kid like you, though?”
Seongmin holds his head. “I don’t know. What the hell are we doing with a toddler? Should we call our manager or somebody else? Maybe Serim-hyung would know what to do.”
“Serim-hyung is visiting his grandparents, and our manager would kill us if we ruined his break. It’s fine, it’s only a child. We’re not gonna kill it. Let’s just put him to sleep and forget about him until the morning,” Taeyoung says, bouncing him gently.
The child stares at Seongmin incessantly, and it’s clear there’s no chance he’s sleeping. “Give him here. I need to get this assignment done, I may as well watch him,” Seongmin sighs, holding out his hands.
“It’s okay, I like babies,” Taeyoung says, wandering towards the door. “Finish your work, I’ll keep him busy.”
Seongmin is thankful, but he can’t bring himself to say it out loud. He sits back down in his desk chair, pulling his headphones back onto his ears. He can hear the kid giggling through the walls, and Taeyoung playing along with him. His attention strays from his work, so he turns up the volume and taps furiously at his keyboard.
The moment he finishes the final paragraph, he slams his laptop lid shut, rushing out into the living room.
“Have you finished?” Taeyoung asks, gazing up at him from where he lies on the floor.
Seongmin nods, sitting beside the kid. “He looks like he’s wide awake.”
“Yeah, I think he must have been sleeping all day. I found some of Jungmo-hyung’s baby photos online, so it’s definitely him, but it feels weird to call him that,” Taeyoung says, tickling the kid’s stomach.
“What do we call him then?”
“Just Jungmo?”
Seongmin shrugs. “I guess he is technically younger than us now.”
“He’s cute,” Taeyoung muses, pinching Jungmo’s cheek. “I’m guessing he must be about two or three years old. He doesn’t talk much, but he’s clingy, and he likes putting stuff in his mouth, so we have to be careful.”
“Are you tired? I can stay up to watch him,” Seongmin says, stroking his hair.
Taeyoung shakes his head. “I told you I like babies. I have little cousins, I used to watch them all the time.”
“I like kids, just not when they’re dropped on my head without warning,” Seongmin huffs. “They always seem to really like me, y’know. Maybe I’m just super cute and approachable to them.”
“Maybe you’re closer to eye-level with them.”
Seongmin whacks his shoulder with as much force as he can muster, and Taeyoung cackles.
“He really does like you more than me, though,” Taeyoung says, sitting back against the wall. “Sit next to me, let’s see who he comes to. I’ll take a bet for it, we buy each other a meal depending on who wins.”
“Deal,” Seongmin shrugs, shuffling beside him. Taeyoung leans against him a little, and Seongmin tries to pay no mind to it. “Come here, Jungmo-yah. He’s not gonna remember that, right?”
“You already call him that when he’s a fully grown man,” Taeyoung snorts. “Over here, hey, come on.”
Jungmo runs towards the pair of them, collapsing right between them.
Taeyoung bursts into giggles. “Why’s he so cute?”
“I think he’s closer to your side,” Seongmin notes, holding in a smile.
Taeyoung nudges his shoulder. “Let’s just call it a draw. What assignment were you doing anyways? I probably have to do it too.”
“Just an essay,” Seongmin sighs.
Taeyoung gasps. “Is it due soon?”
“No, in three weeks. I just know I won’t have the energy to get it done later, so I did it now. Did you even read the syllabus, idiot?”
“Hey, we get the same grades, so I don’t think you should be calling me an idiot,” Taeyoung scowls at him. “Don’t I get a thank you for watching him while you got your work done?”
“Thanks,” Seongmin grumbles, as Jungmo clambers onto his lap. “This is a good way to confirm that I’m never having kids.”
“You’re not getting baby fever?” Taeyoung pouts, reaching for Jungmo’s little hand. “Look how tiny his fingers are.”
Seongmin cranes his head around, letting Jungmo crumple against his chest. “He is small. I don’t think I could deal with this 24/7, though.”
“Dunno about you, but I’d be a great parent.”
“Don’t make me laugh.”
Taeyoung chuckles, smoothing down the collar of Jungmo’s pyjama shirt. “I can’t tell if I got drugged and this is a really vivid dream, or if this is actually happening.”
“Show me your eyes.” Taeyoung listens and gazes up at him, and Seongmin examines them under the yellowish ceiling light. “Your pupils look normal sized.”
“Great, that solves it,” Taeyoung scoffs. “I do wonder how it happened. Maybe he ate something weird, or he got cursed by some sasaeng voodoo. What if his grown self is trapped in the past?”
“Can you imagine that? Jungmo’s poor parents finding a twenty-something in their child’s bed?” Seongmin laughs.
“They’d probably think he broke in,” Taeyoung says. “You look really tired, do you want to go to sleep?”
Seongmin chews on his lip. “I’m not that tired, but I think I’ll go clean up.”
Taeyoung nods, lifting the kid out of Seongmin’s lap. “Okay.”
Seongmin heads into the bathroom and squeezes a glob of toothpaste onto the brush, starting to wash up for the night. He’s not exactly drowsy, since he took a nap in the afternoon, but he does look sort of sunken.
There’s a knock on the door, and this one is familiar. “Mhm?” Seongmin calls, opening the door with a mouth full of suds.
Taeyoung stands in front of the doorway, a wailing Jungmo hiked up in his arms. “I think he’s a little attached to you.”
Seongmin swipes his thumb over Jungmo’s damp cheek, waiting for the hiccups and sobs to come to a stop. He leans down to spit in the sink, wiping the corner of his mouth. “Can you stay with Taeyoung for a bit longer? I need to take a shower,” he sighs.
“Seongmin will be back soon,” Taeyoung whispers, pecking the kid’s cheek. Seongmin feels a tug at his heart, like he’s been sent into an alternate reality where maybe he’s allowed to feel this way.
Maybe Taeyoung slips for a moment too, his eyes scanning Seongmin up and down.
“I’ll keep him occupied, honey,” Taeyoung says, winking at him before he pulls the door shut.
Seongmin stares blankly at the door for a few moments, before desperately trying to cool his face down with splashes of icy tap water.
He can’t hear much over the running shower, but he cleans himself quickly in case Taeyoung can’t handle his crying. Maybe he’s taking this parent thing a little too seriously, but it’s mostly for the sake of not disturbing their neighbours. At least that’s what he’s telling himself.
When he opens the bathroom door, he can hear voices, but the noise isn’t coming from the living room. It’s his room.
“What are you doing here?” Seongmin asks, stepping in.
Jungmo lights up, scrambling to stand on the bed. He calls Seongmin’s name, but it sounds more like he’s saying Seo-mi.
Seongmin rushes towards him, gently tackling him down onto the covers. “Careful, you’ll hurt yourself,” he whispers, sitting down next to him. “Did he give you hell, Taeyoung?”
“No, he was chill after I brought him here,” Taeyoung shrugs, laying comfortably against Seongmin’s pillows. “Maybe it’s your scent.”
“It’s not like I birthed him, what’s his problem?”
Taeyoung laughs. “You know how ducklings follow the first thing they see?”
Seongmin snorts at the comparison. “Actually, that’s probably the most rational explanation for it. I even screamed when I saw him, that didn’t faze him in the slightest.”
“I can’t blame you, he does look a bit like a sickly ghost,” Taeyoung hums.
Jungmo crawls towards Taeyoung, patting his arm over and over. Tae-ug is all he can manage to say.
“Mm, close enough,” Taeyoung says, smiling sweetly. “You know my name?”
Dad.
Taeyoung glares at Seongmin, and Seongmin’s lips can’t help but pull into a smile. “Poor kid must be really confused,” Seongmin says.
Taeyoung laughs softly, yanking Jungmo into his arms. “It’s okay to lie if he can’t understand, right?”
Seongmin shuffles closer, resting his head beside Taeyoung’s. “If you’re his dad, then what does that make me?” he asks.
Taeyoung’s eyebrows flick upwards. “Dad’s new fling?”
Seongmin fake-gags, turning onto his back to stare at the ceiling. “What happens if he’s still here by the morning? Allen-hyung has the first flight in from Taipei, maybe we should warn him or something.”
“No, leave it until later. This can be our secret for a bit longer.”
“I guess it wouldn’t be the end of the world.”
Taeyoung leans closer, pressing his nose against Seongmin’s cheek. “Do you ever miss a life you don’t have?”
Seongmin peers down at Jungmo, who’s clinging to Taeyoung’s torso like a koala. “Sometimes, but it doesn’t look like this.”
“Yeah, I took you for the wife-and-kids type,” Taeyoung teases. “I always just think about what life would be like if I was just some regular person out of the spotlight. I think that version of me would be dreaming about this life, and the cycle would just go on and on.”
“Sounds like we always want what we don’t have,” Seongmin says.
“That’s very poetic of you.”
“Shut up.”
“Why don’t you make me?”
Seongmin furrows his brow, glancing up at Taeyoung. “Huh?”
Taeyoung shakes his head, looking back down to pet Jungmo’s hair. “Nothing.”
It’s exactly the kick in the rear Seongmin needs. There’s always the chance that Taeyoung’s not asking for this, but for once, Seongmin’s willing to take that risk. He shifts in, tilting his head and pecking Taeyoung’s lips quickly.
“Is that all I get?” Taeyoung asks.
Seongmin kisses him again, his hand curling underneath Taeyoung’s jaw as they sink into each other.
This isn’t quite how he envisioned his first kiss. Seongmin always assumed somebody would kiss him first, owing to his lack of experience. It probably would have been someone he doesn’t even know or like that much. Sure, over the years, he hoped more and more that it could be Taeyoung, but he never believed it was possible.
“Wait,” Taeyoung says, pulling away.
Seongmin’s eyes widen. He’s totally ruined everything, he knows it. “What?” he asks, his voice achingly small.
“Where is he?” Taeyoung asks, looking between them.
Seongmin sits up, skimming the room for any sight of him. Both of them jump into action searching for Jungmo – under the bed, in the kitchen pantry, between the clothes-racks in the living room, and every bedroom.
The light in Jungmo’s room is off, so Seongmin switches it on, and finds a large, grown-man-sized lump under the covers.
“Mmf, turn it off,” Jungmo whines.
Seongmin switches it off in an instant, closing the door behind himself. He stops for a second to take a breath, and Taeyoung approaches him from the bathroom. “Did you…don’t tell me he’s back?”
“Like nothing ever happened,” Seongmin mutters.
Taeyoung swings the door open for himself, turning the light on once more.
“Seriously, cut it out!” Jungmo complains, pulling the blanket tighter over his head.
“That’s definitely not a toddler,” Taeyoung says. “He wouldn’t remember anything, right?”
“If he does, can we agree to gaslight him into thinking it was a weird dream?” Seongmin proposes.
“Definitely,” Taeyoung giggles. “Goodnight, Seongmin.”
Seongmin blinks at him. “You’re going to sleep?”
“Yeah, it’s pretty late,” he says, nudging Seongmin’s bedroom door open. “Are you coming to bed, honey?”
Seongmin’s face flushes, but he doesn’t waste any time following Taeyoung in.