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Sebastian Cesario Granger —aka, Regulus Arcturus Black—stared at the application, frowning.
The first question on the application read, “ How did you spend your last two summers? ”
…
Last summer—shall I really go into that?
I spent last summer relearning how to function, how to walk, how to use my left hand—that ’s my dominate one—to even learning to speak. I even learned I’d soon be a father, but that I almost left Olivia a single-mother raising a child because of my actions.
Did I mention that I ended up in the mess I did out of my own folly? That I ’m a wizard who finally realized that you Muggles were not as behind the times as we wizard are? I mean, that summer—how can I even begin to describe the experience of getting to use a washing machine and dryer for the first time, of sitting on top of the dryer as it moved.
That is thanks to my brother-in-law Lettie, thank you very much.
As for last summer, I spent it catching up on Muggle subjects so I ’d be prepared for Muggle college and helping raise my baby girl, because I’m such an idiot.
…
He looked at the second question, which read, “ If there are aspects of your life or social or personal identity that you feel are not captured elsewhere in this application, please tell us about them below. ”
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Anything not captured by the application? Why, how about the fact I ’m a wizard and can do magic? Not that any Muggles would believe me, let alone believe that I used to be a part of an organization that wouldn’t hesitate in killing Muggles and their ilk.
Of course, I ’m surprised myself at the latter part, thinking that we were doing Muggles some form of kindness as I was raised believing them a backwards sort of lot, when in reality they are more advanced than us. Right? Like their laws are much more fair, and they’ve psychiatric care, which believe me, I need a lot of.
It ’s my brother-in-law Richard that takes care of me, but what kind of question is this anyways? Why should my identity afford me more of a chance at attending a given school than someone else? Shouldn’t my academic ability be enough?
I guess though it ’s measuring personal self, these essays, of which I am a brainless fool.
After all, I joined up with the Death Eaters, and by that logic am not a good canidate for a Muggle university, right?
…
The third question …
Regulus paused. “What inspires me?”
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I am a very uninspired person who had no dreams prior to becoming a father and then my biggest dream—only, I guess—is to be the best father ever. That, and go to medical school to pay back my new maman and …
—pause—
My new father, though I still love pappa.
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“What three words best describe you?”
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How about idiot, idiot and idiot?
I guess though they ’re looking for different words, so idiot, evil and coward would be the three words.
I ’m an idiot, after all, for trusting the Dark Lord meant well for everyone. I mean, he’s called the Dark Lord for a reason I didn’t seem capable of understanding.
And I ’m evil for joining up with the Death Eaters.
And I ’m a coward, unlike my brother Sirius.
…
Then came the next question, “ What is worth fighting for? ”
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This is such an unfair question, because if I was applying to say a wizarding university, which sadly don ’t exist and I think should, I would in fact say my brother’s side was the side worth fighting for, that I wished I had known sooner.
I might, in fact, have had a bette relationship with my older brother, but I think that in that regard, I need to understand that he always thought of me as a snake which in turn may have led me down the path that it did, because he made me feel a certain way about myself, and the side I was on.
Sirius is an idiot like that, but I guess that ’s a way we’re alike? He’d deny it though.
Anyways, his side was in the right? I mean, my side was the Nazi like side, right?
To me, fighting for the life of others, so they can have the freedom to live their lives out the fullest, that those of us with superior strength, intellect, excetera, should insure that this is possible. Add wealth in there, as there seems to be a disparity among some who don ’t have enough money, something I sort of noticed at school. Some of the kids didn’t have like Sirius and I did.
…
Then came the next question, of “ What brings you joy? ”
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Should I answer this?
I mean, my answer is my daughter Hermione, but how to put it in a way that looks good? I mean, it was a teenage preganancy which doesn ’t look good even in wizard society.
I think my uncle had a teenage pregnancy?
Maybe that ’s why Bella is as messed up as she is?
I hope my Hermione doesn ’t end up messed up like her.
I ’ve got support of maman and my new father. Wish papa could see her, though mother would reject her with every fiber of her being.
Yeah. Really can ’t talk about my baby girl without going into certain specifics, and it’s not all joyful when my papa can’t be there to see her grow up—
My fault really that he can ’t.
But would mother and Bella kill my baby girl?
I ’m really getting off on a tangeant in my own head.
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“Describe a time when you advocated for something you believed in…”
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Bloody Merlin, are you kidding me? We all know how that went down, and how I was in the wrong. Though, technically I only advocated I think with Sirius, because I wangtedm y brother to be on the right side, the side that didn ’t hurt House Elves?
Bloody Merlin, I could never articulte aything I believed in well at all.
Had I, I think I ’d have been dead long, long ago.
…
Then there as the last one, of “ Write a short thank-you note to someone you have not yet thanked and would like to acknowledge. ”
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The Granger family, of course, but I ’ve already thanked them? So it seems like my essay would be al ie?
…
Regulus looked back up at the question, “ What inspries you? , pausing for a second, then—
Regulus begain to write.
..
I didn ’t grow up in the best of families. The best way to describe my family is—well, I didn’t know what a washer and dryer was, nor had I ever seen a telivision. Fiction, one might say, was also banned in my house. And because I was sheltered the way I was, I ended up falling into the wrong crowd, because I knew absolutely nothing about the world and thus didn’t see them as the wrong crowd.
I ended up majorly hurt because of this. My in-laws would tell anyone I was a bloody mess when I showed up on their doorstep, but my in-laws saw to it I got proper medical care and survived that, but it came at the price of me having to relearn to walk, to talk, to use my left hand again.
For a long time, I was stuck in a hospital bed, but my brother-in-law Lettie read to me, took the time out of his day of working at the family bookshop to read to me, making sure I wasn ’t alone.
He also introduced me to various technollogy, such as how to wash and dry my own clothes, something I wouldn ’t have been able to do prior to marrying into my new family.
And he ’s introduced me to some very amazing shows, such as Doctor Who, which is a really old show.
Lettie inspires me to live my life to the fullest, but I am moving forward with my education to pay my new family back so I can be a part of the family that pays back in a productive manner. I don ’t exactly have an idea of what that will be yet, but I am leaning towards becoming a doctor like my mother and father-in-law.
I don ’t know where this puts me now or where it will lead me, but I know that Lettie and my new family inspire me to be more than what I once was while also making it so that I do have some form of dream for the future, that I do, in fact, have goals of myself that, while they’re not yet concrete, are formulating.
I don ’t know how to put it better than that.
…
Regulus let out a sigh, frowning. “That was hard, and I don’t know how effective my essay will be, but…”
He nodded his head.
“I’m happy with it and will apply to university again if need be, I think because I’ll learn more.