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Connor is almost as surprised as Will to find himself sitting outside his front door on the worst day of his life. It was horrific when his mother died when he was a child, it tore him up in ways that no child should ever have to experience. It didn’t help that his father was more concerned about ‘upholding the family image’ than his children's well-being.
He had seen a lot of horrific stuff when he was overseas in Riyadh, not to mention the literal train wreck that took over his first shift at Med. When his mentor and friend, Dr. David Downey, passed it stung. Sure he knew it was coming because cancer is a discriminatory bastard, but it didn’t lessen the pain.
When his dad died it hurt, not nearly as much as his mother's death did, but at the end of the day that domineering man was still his father and there was always that hope that his father would change. Towards the end it felt like their relationship was shifting to something healthier– and then his entire world as he knew it came crashing down. His father had died, no his father was murdered. But not only was he murdered, but he was murdered by a fellow doctor— by Connors's own girlfriend.
Ava not only confessed to what she did, but then instead of facing up to her crime she killed herself in front of Connor, in the hybrid OR. Leaving Connor emotionally battered, confused, and surrounded by a dark-suffocating pain that he couldn’t escape. He knew he could drown the pain out by chasing the bottom of the bottle, but that slope was way too slippery to play with when it felt like the world as he knew it had come to an end.
He doesn’t know how long he had been sitting beside Will’s front door and he doesn’t know when he stopped crying. He is fairly certain he knocked once just to make sure that Will wasn’t home but when he got no response he just sat there and waited for the vivacious redhead to get off of his shift, it was safer than going out– alone, with the temptation to drown his all his problems away being overwhelming. All he was certain of was that he was drowning in pain and the only person he could stand to see was Will, which if he were more aware of anything else he might have found it odd, but he didn’t have the energy to even get up off of the floor.
“Hey Con, why don’t you come inside,” Will says as he unlocks his door. He knows better than to ask Connor ‘how are you holding up’ or ‘How are you’, the answer is clear as day right in front of him. While they haven’t always gotten along, Will isn’t about to do anything to chase away Connor in his vulnerable state.
He helps Connor get up on his feet, takes his bags from him, places them just inside the door, ushers him into the living room, and manhandles him into sitting on the couch. Connor is still in his suit that he wore to work that morning, which has got to be uncomfortable at this point. This observation prompts Will to ask Connor if he would like to borrow some clothes, something more comfortable to lounge in, which Connor gratefully accepts with a nod and a small forced smile.
Once they have both changed into more comfortable clothes and are both seated back on the couch, Will at the far end and Connor in the middle nearly plastered to Will’s side, Will realizes just how late it is and figures he should order dinner.
“Do you want pizza or Chinese for dinner?” Will asks, breaking the comfortable silence, despite how their day went.
“Pizza, you can put it on my card,” Connor responds gesturing vaguely to his wallet on the coffee table in front of them.
“Pizza preference?” Will asks softly.
“Meat lovers extra cheese, maybe some hot wings,” Connor responds as he leans more into Will, actively seeking more comfort that Will is happy to give.
“The wings, pizza, and breadsticks should be here within the hour.” Will declares after placing the order before placing his phone down, and Connor’s card back in his wallet. Then he wraps an arm around Connor and he happily snuggles in closer. Ignoring the fact that this is
something that they have never done in the history of their rather rocky relationship, they instead choose to embrace this change of pace. Connor feels safe curled up next to Will, he feels like he can breathe easier and like he isn’t going to be crushed and vanish under the multitude of emotions that have been tormenting him ever since Ava was pronounced dead.
They fall silent for a while, Connor content to just be, his whirlwind of thoughts has subsided some, and the quiet is greatly appreciated for the time being. It doesn’t seem to take long for dinner to arrive. They dish up and find an old, mindless rerun to watch. Once dinner has been finished Connor finds himself feeling a little more human, a little less like the world's punching bag.
“Thank you for letting me in.” Connor whispers even though he feels like a simple thank you doesn’t even begin to cover his gratitude for Will being his port in the storm.
“You are welcome here anytime for as long as you need. Need my help with anything you name it and you got me. You do not have to go through this alone.” Will says reassuringly.
“I– are you sure? I cannot go back to that apartment but I can always find another place.” Connor says in a small, sad voice.
“I am sure, there is no need to look for another apartment until you decide if you are staying in Chicago or finding a new city to call home. Just keep me in the loop when you make that choice, I could use a change of scenery too.” Will says slyly.
Why would he want to follow me? Of all people, our relationship is tumultuous at the best of times, yet nothing in the way he said that leads me to believe that he is being insincere. No, if anything he was being painstakingly honest. This side of Will is fascinating. Finally breaking out of his musing he takes a moment to ask “Why would you want to leave your life behind here, for me?”
“You know how I tend to give you the most crap out of all our coworkers, right?” Will inquires.
“Not at all” Connor claims with an exaggerated eye roll.
“Mhmm” Will hums in sarcastic affirmation. “Let me tell you a little story then. You will know all the characters, and many plot points, but you will get a glimpse of what was going on in my head. How does that sound?”
“Can I lay down with my head in your lap while you do?” Connor hesitantly asks, his voice laced with uncertainty.
“You wish is my command, go ahead, get comfy.” Once Connor is situated and comfortable Will starts off the tale while running his fingers through the brunette's hair, “Once upon a time there was little ole me getting ready to start my workday, as soon as we got done being present for the press conference for the new ER reveal. That press conference was cut short by everyone's pagers going off because of a train derailment that just so happened to have a mostly unscathed, fine as hell, trauma fellow aboard. Of course, I didn’t know he was the trauma fellow at first.“ He says as he shares a small smile with Connor before he continues.
“The thing is that that trauma fellow was so breathtakingly beautiful that it led to me acting like a fool. My first instinct when I am that attracted to someone, that someone being you in case it isn’t clear, is to push them away–push you away. It’s less self-preservation and more saving you from the disaster that is me. I had just started at med months before that, I left New York in a hurry because things got rocky, showed up on Jay’s front step beaten and bruised, and refused to give him many details. I didn’t want to pull anyone into my mess and it was easy enough to play on the other side of my dating pool for a while. Turns out that while I am in fact bi, I do not prefer women– and it took me a long while to accept that. By then it felt like it was too late to fix the chasm I single-handedly dug with my assholery. I felt horrible every time I was such an ass but I just couldn’t stop the ‘pig tale pulling’ as Mags so nicely put it.” Will says paired with a feigned pained sigh when he sees the cocky smirk gracing Connor’s face.
“Wait, so let me get this right, you were an ass– because you were overwhelmed by your attraction to me. So instead of– oh, I don’t know, acting like a sane adult and trying to determine if I were into you or men– whichever had you so stuck in denial, you decided to stick to middle school tactics. Did you assume I wasn’t attracted to your hot-headed chaos? Because your fiery temper has always been in the ‘pros’ column— if such a thing existed of course.” Connor proclaims before winking and relishing in the crimson blush gracing Will’s cheeks.
“Does it help at all if I tell you that I am deeply ashamed of my childish behavior, I just got so cemented in my childish ways that I didn’t know how to put an end to it?” he asked shyly.
Connor takes a moment, pretending to think really, really hard about it before he quickly drops the schtick. “Definitely, just cut back on it some more, maybe, for everyone's sake. But, for what it’s worth I am not opposed to bratty behavior at home if, and only if that is something you are into.”
“Rhodes, are you telling me you're a brat tamer?” Will asks with a mischievous smirk.
“I suppose so, can’t say I ever really thought about it, but it fits. That's to be discussed at a later time though Halstead,” he says nonchalantly.
“Absolutely, but to make my point clear, I am very attracted to you, I was very dumb about it– but there is nothing keeping me here. Sure Jay is still in town but he has been talking about leaving with Mouse for Mouse’s sanity for a couple of months now so maybe if I start somewhere new that will encourage him to do the same. So, if you want me to come with you I am on board, wherever and whenever you are ready to do so. Even if I am destined to be nothing more than your friend.” he finishes almost sounding sad when he makes his last point and that just simply won’t do for Connor.
Connor decides that it is his turn to be brave, if Will can confess his feelings he can too, in a less subtle way of course. He takes a deep breath before he gets up and slowly straddles Will’s lap. “Is this ok?” he murmurs.
“More than,” Will says quite breathily.
He rests one hand just above Will’s heart, he can feel Will’s heart rate start to accelerate, his breathing hitched ever so slightly when he cups Will’s cheek with his other hand. Connor can see the desire and longing in Will’s eyes, and he can only imagine that his eyes are showing the same vulnerability. Knowing it’s now or never he leans in closer before asking, “May I?” he whispers, his lips just a hair’s breadth from Will’s. “Please Con-” and Connor, who has fantasized about shutting Will up with a kiss since the very first time they met, finally got his wish, to shut Will up with a fierce kiss leaving them both giddy and eager to see what the future could bring them.