Work Text:
It was late into the afternoon, though Viktor was far too engrossed in his work to notice time flying by, the faint glow of hextech crystals illuminating the lab as he worked. The room is cluttered with blueprints, scattered tools, and broken prototypes, a chaotic testament to countless sleepless nights. Viktor stands at the workbench, his gaunt frame silhouetted against the pale blue light of a half-finished device. His movements are sharp, precise, but charged with irritation. He tightens a bolt with a wrench, the strain evident on his face as he forces the piece into place. Sparks fly as he tests the connection. Nothing. He slams the wrench down with a resounding clang.
Frustration radiates around him, his white-knuckled grip on his crutch threatening to bend the metal all together. Viktor ran a hand through his tousled hair, willing himself to relax before he just threw the hunk of metal and screws at the wall. He'd been trying to generate a steady connection for days now and 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨
Jayce hadn't stepped foot in the lab for near months, which meant he hadn't seen Viktor as much as either of them would've liked. But being a new council member meant a lot of work, and a lot of responsibility. Of course he missed Viktor, they'd been incredibly close ever since he'd gotten there.
But he didn't have for the lab anymore. He couldn't spend weeks with Viktor working on prototypes, occasionally making a trip to the undercity to collect more tools they wouldn't get in piltover. Viktor always complained that the sellers there upped their prices when it came to Jayce, which mean he'd insist on doing the talking instead.
Viktor was always very well spoken, one to hold his own. Jayce admired him for it, how independent he'd be. He did find it annoying how Viktor would shrug off any offered assistance, as if he had something to prove.
On top of everything, Jayce knew Viktor to be very tidy and clean. Which meant he was very surprised, quietly opening the door to reveal the cluttered mess that was their lab. Though, the lab didn't feel like "theirs" anymore, as every bit of it felt foreign
That included his partner.
Viktor always pushed himself, which caused an admittedly dishevelled appearance when he didn't have the time to groom himself. Overall, though, he was clean. He wasnt unhygienic by any means. -So this? this was new. His eye bags hung heavy, cheeks sunken in. Jayce felt a pang of guilt at the sight, as he hadn't been there to convince his partner to take a break.
"Hey, uh, V?" He spoke up, stepping into the lab and consequently almost tripping over a failed prototype. He caught his balance, looking around more carefully now "Do you have the crystals in here?" It was a non-question, and they both knew the answer
"I need them, " He'd justify "For a presentation."
Viktor was so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed Jayce entering, visibly startling as the other man called out to him. He'd gotten so used to working in absolute solitude, especially after everything with Sky, that he found himself immediately unnerved with having someone else in his work space. He felt the urge to try to hide all his blue prints and prototypes as if Jayce were some nosy press trying to catch early glimpses of Hextech.
Viktor let out a short breath, his shocked expression hardening again as the nickname hit his ears. He didn't oppose it, but he clearly wasn't pleased with it. Jayce had long lost the privilege to speak to him so.. familiarly. His crutch clacked loudly on the floor as he hobbled over to the chalkboard, rubbing off a hearty chunk of writing next to a messily drawn model of the prototype. He'd never been the artist of the duo, something he very much missed about Jayce's absence.
"I'm doing great, by the way. Thanks for asking." Viktor’s voice was raspy from lack of use, his accent thick with evident exhaustion. Even then, the bitter tone was clear as day, as was the displeased wrinkle in his nose. "They're where they always are"
The crystals were not, in fact, 'where they always are'. Viktor had long since reorganized the place to better suit his needs, which mostly consisted of shoving everything closer together so he didn't have to hobble around as much. A part of him just wanted to see if Jayce even remembered where they used to go.
"Oh, yeah, sorry." Jayce apologized, frowning. He paused, looking around for just a moment. The lab still had the same sort of setup, albeit messier. Despite this, he felt absolutely clueless.
The lab felt foreign, no longer the place him and Viktor had spent months shoulder to shoulder working and chatting mindlessly. He missed it sometimes. Viktor was a nice companion, he really was. Others may regard him as snappy, uptight or something like that. It was partially correct, but after years working restlessly with the guy he'd known better.
That, though, faded as well. As time went on they'd changed, they'd grown. Jayce knew that, but he never thought it'd mean growing apart. He shook his head, sighing "I don't remember where they are." He mumbled, almost defeated
Jayce felt guilty, seeing Viktors condition worsening. He hadn't realized how long it had been since they'd spoken beyond a casual smile as they passed each other in halls. Viktor didn't smile back, someone Jayce had just now noticed. "I'm sorry." He apologized again
"I don't have a lot of time anymore, V, between the council and presentations and Mel. I -I mean, you understand, right?" Jayce nearly pleaded. He had been busy, but he certainly had opportunities. But, any free time was spent with Mel.
Or in the forge, to destress. Well, sometimes he'd stay home and have a couple drinks. Oh, and sometimes he'd read, he'd been getting into reading more and more recently.
He had a lot of free time, actually.
Jayce felt himself tense at the realization. He wasn't too busy for Viktor or the lab. He'd hoped Viktor didn't know that, though.
Viktor let out an empty huff of laughter as Jayce admitted he didn't know where the crystals were. The statement sounded so unreal. Just shy of a year ago, Viktor could confidently say that they both knew the lab like the back of their hands. Where every tool was, where the crystals were safely hidden, where the scrap metal was, where the chalk they always seemed to be running out of was. Everything.
Viktor still did because he stayed, because it was still his everything. But it seemed Jayce hadn't held onto the knowledge as closely as Viktor did.
If Viktor would've told his past self of the state of their friendship now.. he'd call himself crazy. He would've sworn over his heart that nothing could've torn them apart like this. That they'd be partners for the long run. It was foolish to hope like that. He'd gotten so caught up in Jayce---his winning smile, his reassuring touches, his overly caring nature, his brilliant mind, his determination to help---that he'd forgotten everything he'd learned from the undercity, from Singed. 'We can be loners together' he and Jayce 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 loners together. Then Jayce wasn't a loner anymore, and everything fell apart.
The rushed apologies went in one ear and out the other, a disappointed shake of his head being his only response as he began to write, pressing the chalk a bit harder then intended. He wrote a few words in English before pausing, rolling something over in his mind before erasing those words and rewriting in Russian. A petty part of him gloated.
He could hear Jayce speaking from behind him, but in all honesty, he wasn't really listening. Not until a certain name caught his attention.
"Mel.. "
Viktor echoed, the name leaving a rotten taste on his tongue. He knows who she is, obviously, she was the same person who initially caught them trying to sneak into Heimerdinger's lab. She was also the one to suggest they turn Hextech into weapons. The chalk cracked in his hand. Jayce paused at the solemn echo brows furrowing. He didn't have a defence for it, admittedly, not a good one. "We're, " He started, unsure of what him and Mel really were. "We're partners" He settled on the most familiar word, instantly regretting it
He knew Viktor wouldn't like feeling 'replaced', something Jayce was all too aware he'd just caused " Not like that" He defended, immediately. Jayce stepped closer, nervously "Obviously, not like how we uh," he paused. 'Like how we 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦'
"You'd like her" A feeble attempt to save himself "Shes nice, I mean, you've met her" It's true, Viktor had. But all of those times she'd been flirting with Jayce, or trying to exile him. She was more than that, which was proved in time, but Viktor's already biased opinion had been made.
"She is.. not my kind of person" Viktor frowned, placing the chalk down before the rest of it crumpled in his harsh grip, wiping the dust off on his pants to join a mess of similar marks.
Viktor hadn't had any bad thoughts towards Mel, not until she suggested they make weapons with Hextech and couldn't even look him in the eye as she said it. Now that got him a bit riled up. Not nearly as much as Jayce's next words, though.
"And the council has been incredibly busy, incase you weren't aware the the Undercity" He spoke the last word in a derogatory manner. He always did, like it was venom on his tongue. "is trying to initiate a war right now."
Jayce had been raised viewing the Undercity as dangerous, uncivilized. While he'd gotten out of that mindset short of meeting Viktor -The council had a way of reinforcing those beliefs.
"Say it with more disgust, why don't you."
For the first time since Jayce came in, Viktor turned around to properly trap the other under his heavy glare, the restlessness only adding fuel to the dangerous look in his eyes. Not a lot was able to bother Viktor, growing up in Zaun dulled the sting that came with any insults he could possibly have facing himself, but arrogance towards the Undercity did cross a line in his head. He may not have enjoyed his time living there, but it was still part of him whether he liked it or not, and having someone bad mouth it right in front of his face was just disrespectful. He'd thought Jayce was better then that. Hm.
"In all honesty, I don't blame them." Viktor admitted, dropping his gaze from Jayce's to stare down at the floor instead, eyeing a paper that had fallen. "You promised them change, improvement, and have yet to deliver"
Jayce seemed to shrink under Viktors gaze, looking away "It wasn't disgust, and there's no reason for war." He defended "Maybe we'd be more developed if you didn't turn everything into an argument. You can't possibly think they're being reasonable, Viktor. People died, an entire building blown up -Again!"
"Maybe we'd be more developed if you didn't send all your time with your little lady friend and more time here!"
Viktor snapped back, his teeth grinding so hard he half-expected to crack a molar. He wanted to day more, but in true Piltover fashion, Jayce just kept talking. Always talking over people like him.
He didn't seem angry, maybe distressed. "You can't agree with that." It sounded more like a plea. He looked back at Viktor, eyes dressed in a desperate glare, his lips tilted down into a sad face. "V, come on. It's not about the fact it's about the Undercity, it's the fact people are in danger."
For Jayce, it didn't matter that it was the Undercity. But for the other council members it certainly did. Of course he was against it, he didn't think anyone deserved the treatment the council wanted to give the Undercity.
Enforcers had been sent to the Undercity streets. Their brutality wasn't hidden, either. Something Jayce was well aware of, but despite the sane piece of him wanting to put an end to it.. The other council members had their minds set. He just hoped word hadn't gotten around to Viktor.
"Your people." Viktor has always tried to regard Jayce as 'one of the good ones'. As someone who genuinely tried to understand. As someone who would actually listen as he spoke about the reality of living in the Undercity, about the horrors and hardships. As someone who, for once, wasn't just making empty promises and really wanted to help. "You're worried about your people being in danger. Not mine."
But the more Viktor talked to him now, the less of the old Jayce he saw in the man. Jayce wasn't just some academy student with big dreams and an even bigger heart, he was the 'Man of Progress', and it was a hard slap in the face to realize just what kind of progress he was striving for.
"What about the people in danger down there, huh?" Viktor took a threatening step forward, golden eyes narrowed into thin slits, like a predator stalking towards its prey. The comparison was a bit funny when considering the power imbalance between the two. "What about the people, the innocent people, your enforcers hunt down like animals."
An angry, venomous silence filled the air before Viktor spoke up again,
"Dont think I haven't heard about it, Councillor Talis."
Jayce shut his mouth at the confrontation. He fell quiet, for once. He didn't move away and Viktors step closer, nor did his eyes tear away. He stared at Viktor, having some sort of internal battle.
He wanted to say that he didnt have any control of that, another piece of him wanted to apologize. Jayce did have a certain amount of control, as did every other councilor. Despite the honorary rank Jayce despised hearing Viktor say it.
He looked away, finally. Had he changed? The guilt the question carried was more than he was ready to confront. Jayce sighed "Thats not -" 'My problem'. He caught himself. That was a cruel thought.
"I'm sorry." He decided on. He looked back up to Viktor. Admittedly, Jayce wasn't sure what to do. He'd tried calling off the enforcers ever since Caitlins (girl?)friend brought the issues to their attention.
Any decision to stop it had been ruled out of the council. Mel had her mind set, as well. He could step down, but then he wouldnt have the power to do any good. The situation felt helpless, to him.
"I'm trying" He added, hoping it was the right answer.
Jayce didn't like how he'd suddenly viewed this as some sort of test. He had changed. The fame and the power and Mel had gotten to his head. The propaganda surrounding him, that he'd accidentally made, it influenced him more than he'd like to admit.
Viktor let out a bitter scoff, rolling his eyes, giving an incredulous shake of his head.
"Clearly."
Viktor held Jayce under his gaze for anither few moments before he let the poor man free, turning around to hobble back to the chalkboard, absolutely done with this conversation. He'd wasted enough of his precious time just thinking about Jayce, he didn't need to waste any more actually talking to the guy. In fact, he much perfers the version of Jayce he conjured up in his head. At least that Jayce hadn't changed.
"The crystals are in the bottom cabinet to your right. The code is 11220." Viktor argued to himself the numbers were purely random. It was just a coincidence they happened to match the date the two first met "Take them and hurry off. Some of us have important work to do."
Viktor reached for the chalk, though paused as the memory of him practically crumbling the thing in his hand resurfaced. With an annoyed groan, Viktor readjusted himself to hobble over to a nearby drawer, sucking in a sharp breath as he lowered himself enough to root through the supplies that were hapzardly thrown in there. His leg throbbed at the action, but he didn't let it show more then a subtle twitch of his right eye. He didn't have time to worry about such things.
"Are you okay?" Jayce questioned stepping closer. He'd noticed the small flinch, the twitch of his right eye, his near-gasp. Subtle signs that Jayce had spent the better part of eight years noticing. Usually he'd offer help, or maybe try convincing Viktor into a break.
He couldn't do that anymore. That privilege was long since stripped away, and he hadn't even noticed. He'd changed, he'd changed too much for things to be the same as they were.
He couldn't be who he was before, not after the corruption of the council. Jayce, despite this, wanted to be. He wanted to be with Viktor the way he was when they were young. When Hextech was new, and their future was uncertain
The last part remained. Except now it wasnt their future anymore, it was Jayces now. Their paths seemed so intertwined before, and now everything was so parallel.
Jayces touch was unwelcome, as was his help. But really, he'd do anything to try again. The presentation could wait, or he could cancel and reschedule. Mel would be upset with him but the most important person in his life was fading away from him.
And it was all his fault.
Viktor had gotten so used to being alone, to pushing through the pain without help, that the gentle touch on his arm actually managed to startle him. It wasn't even really a tug upward, just a hand cupping under the meatier part of his arm, lightly pulling upward in sync with the push of his own leg. The touch was familiar, horribly familiar, and completely unwelcome.
"Отправиться."
Viktor snapped once he was back on his feet (because why the fuck would he not take Jayce's help to his advantage. Why push himself harder if Jayce was already there. It wasn't because he missed the help or anything), slapping Jayce's hand off of his arm in a similar fashion to how he did on the bridge, his face tight and nose wrinkled. He had to remind himself to quickly put the chalk he'd scooped up from the bin down before it ended up like the other one.
"I don't need your pity help."
Once, what felt like an eternity ago, Viktor would lean into Jayce's help. The arms around his shoulders. The hand resting on the small of his back, steading him. The strong arm offered for him to pull himself up. The slowed pace so Viktor didn't have to rush. It had all felt so nice, so genuinely kind, but now it just felt forced. Like Jayce was doing it out of guilt.
Unconsciously, Viktor’s hand came up to rub at where Jayce's hand had cupped, the skin still sizzling from the contact. It would undoubtedly leave a mental mark for a while. Great.
"It's not pity, V" Jayce replied, as if surprised that's what Viktor would assume. He understood Viktors anger as well as he could, he'd understand him slapping his away because he'd been a dick. Pity, though? Sure, Jayce was guilty, but helping Viktor was more of a habit.
"It's never been pity" He added in a hushed tone, looking at Viktor with a sort of confused face. Had he thought that always? No, he couldn't have. Did he think all of those times had been pity? Jayce cared about Viktor, he owed him just about everything he had.
And still left
The thought picked at his mind. When Viktor slapped his hand away Jayce instead intertwined their fingers in some begging grasp. 'Please' went without words as he stared at Viktor, eyes pleading.
He darted his eyes over Viktors ill features, sunken cheeks practically draped over sharp cheebokes. His eyes were sunken in with dark rings around them.
and Jayce thought he was still so gorgeous. He wanted to help, not to fix him, just to have the honor of loving him like he'd used to. He wasn't allowed to take care of him how he used to, and he understood that. He understood Viktors resistance, Jayce had fucked up. But pity?
"I still. . . " He started, finding the words. 'Love you'? No. Viktor wouldn't believe him either way, he'd rather not embarrass himself in such a way. "I still care about you. " he finished, his voice laced with concern.
Viktor took a whole step back as Jayce hastily threaded their fingers together in some desperate attempt to keep him there, a look of bewilderment stretching on his features. It's not like they hadn't held hands before. Many times, actually. But those had been purely for convenience. Just to prevent one of them from getting lost in a crowd or keep themselves steady if there happened to be a bit more ice on the streets than usual. This was.. different. It was still meant to keep them together, but now it was desperate, no longer a calm and casual hold.
Viktor didn't pull his hand away, even though his brain was screaming at him to. The rough callouses that covered his boney hands rubbed against Jayce's, the lack of physical work causing his to soften.
"...then why did you leave." Viktor spoke after a solid minute of silence, breaking the suffocating tension that had gathered between them. "If you care so much, why do you never come here anymore."
Viktor wasn't meeting Jayce's eyes anymore, his distant gaze bouncing around the random screws and bolts on the floor that promised to trip him the moment he stopped paying attention.
The question had been on his mind for months, playing on repeat like a broken record, getting louder eveytime he stumbled upon something Jayce left behind. Maybe that's why it screamed when he look in the mirror. He was something Jayce left behind.
The question hung in the air, weighing on his shoulders. He didn't have an answer. Jayce didn't want to lie, say he was too busy, say that there just wasn't time anymore. "I don't know. I'm stupid, probably. I didn't realize how much I was leaving behind." his thumb ran over Viktors boney knuckles.
"I'm sorry" He repeated, because God he didn't think he could ever say it enough. Not once did he let go, but he'd let Viktor move away if he wanted. If Viktor pulled his hand away he'd release his hold like it wasn't ever there to begin with.
"If you want me to go I get it, I shouldn't have left you I shouldn't have. . ." He looked around them "I shouldn't have left this." Jayce looked up to Viktor. This was the first time he'd really seen him in so so long.
"I can cancel the presentation" He blurted "I can -Gods, V, I can do whatever you want me to. " Jayce practically pleaded. He meant it though, anything Viktor wanted.
The presentation nearly slipped his mind at this point, Realizing how much he'd lost in the process of climbing up the ranks. Viktor was the reason he'd made Hextech possible, the reason his things weren't destroyed.
And he left him behind.
Viktor breathed put slowly, mulling over Jayce's words in his mind.
There was nothing he wanted more than for things to go back to the way they were. When they were constantly attached at the hip, working through the night together, building their Hextech dream from nothing but the scraps they were given. When their futures were still so uncertain. When a small mistake could threaten to destroy everything they were working for.
It was funny. That whole time they couldn't wait for the future were they'd have everything they'd ever need. Where they'd be able to do and create anything they could imagine. Where they wouldn't have to stress over getting the people to understand the potential of their dream. And yet, now that they have that, all he wanted to do was go back.
Viktor sighed, dragging his eyes back to their interlocked hands, to where Jayce's thumb gently rubbed over his knuckles. He went quiet for a while, silently staring, weighting options in his head
"You.." Viktor trailed off, his forehead creasing as his brow drew together, his face screwing ever so slightly "You can't just come back here, after months, and use some kind of... weird Councilor charm on me and make everything okay. That's not how this works. I get to be mad at you."
Jayce nodded. It was true, Viktor deserved to be mad at him. Despite that, Jayce wanted nothing more than to make it up to him. He wasn't apologising for forgiveness, he was apologising because he needed Viktor to know that he's well aware what he did was shitty.
Of course, 'councilor charm' didn't slip his attention. But he figured he'd get backhanded if he mentioned it now.
"I know. Just. . . I just need you to know I never meant to hurt you, or -or leave you behind. I was just stupid. You didn't deserve that. " He let go of Viktors hand. Jayce hated the idea of forcing him, even if it was forcing him to forgive.
"But my offer still stands, always will." 'always has' he thought.
Letting go of Viktor's hand seemed to be a mistake, for only a few seconds after Jayce had released his grip, Viktor was winding back and slamming his fist as hard as he could into that stupidly perfect smile he was so tired of seeing. Now, Viktor may appear frail, but growing up in the Undercity meant he had to learn to defend himself from the numerous threats down there, and even though his illness was rapidly killing his body, he still held onto some of the muscle he'd gotten. Lifting heavy hunks of metal around all day surely helped.
The punch didn't have as much force behind it as he'd have liked, but it was enough to slice a small cut on Jayce's bottom lip. Unfortunately for Viktor, the momentum caused him to lose his footing, his crutch clattering to the floor as he frantically reached out to grab onto Jayce's stupid fucking suit before he fell over.
Jayce quickly held a hand over the spot of impact, his busted lip barely bleeding, he stumbled back a small amount. His eyes were still scrunched close, as they'd braced for impact. Despite it all, he still instinctively helped Viktor up. Not too much, though, as he caught himself and stepped away.
He wiped the bud of dark red blood starting to bubble at his lip, smearing the red a bit across his chin " Carajo, ¿en serio? " He whispered under his breath. He did say anything.
His voice was maybe a bit frustrated, but not as angry as he'd be if Viktor had been anyone else. Though, a second to prepare would've been nice. Jayce found it a small bit ironic that Viktor was so against any kind of weapons or violence, yet didn't hesitate to throw a punch. Again, though, Jayce already had a busted lip, so he didn't feel like being very snarky right now.
His shoulders relaxed, though, because for some reason he was still incredibly fine with letting his guard down with Viktor. To a fault, evidently. Maybe he didn't realize he did it, that he dropped all defenses when it was just the two of them. It felt like a habit built up over nearly a decade.
He bit at his lip, absentmindedly, basically sucking the blood out of the small would. Also a bad habit. Although, he wasn't intentionally biting his lip until he bleed like he used to when he was younger.
"Well then..." Viktor huffed, face twisted up as he maneuvered his weight to his left leg, the right actively throbbing from when he'd accidently pressed all his weight on it in his haste to not fall over "I feel a bit better now."
Jayce sighed, "couldn't have warned me? "
"Wouldn't have been nearly as, ehh.. therapeutic, if I had warned you"
Based on voice alone, Viktor's little display of violence seemed to drain the better part of his anger, leaving him far more relaxed than he'd been previously. His eyebrows were still slightly pulled together, a side effect of lingering irritation, but the rest of his hardened look softened back out. Mindlessly, Viktor shook out his now-sore hand, ugly bruises already beginning to form along his knuckles. Ugh.
"As the kids say, sorry not sorry, Jayce. You had that coming."
Viktor kept a steady hand curled around the meatier part of Jayce's arm, using the other to keep himself balanced. It was something he used to do when they first met, back when he still used a simple cane instead of a full crutch. It was a way he couldn't trick himself into believing his legs condition wasn't worsening, even as he white-knuckled his cane and bit holes into his cheeks with every agonizing step.
But Jayce eventually managed to convince him to talk to a doctor about the evidently growing pain he'd been to kind as to point out, and the doctor told him to use that ungodly embarrassing excuse for a crutch. He would've told her to go fuck herself of Jayce hadn't been there with him like a stern mother.
"Don't be a big baby, you're fine."
Jayce smiled a little feeling Viktors hand rest on his arm, even if it was just for a little longer. "I feel like, if anything, I was very calm about being punched in the face." He defended. His tone was a little lighter than when they'd been arguing
He didn't take his arm away from Viktor, either. Letting him regain his balance and let go whenever he pleased. Jayce was never averse to touch, if anything he enjoyed it. Especially Viktor, it felt like privilege for him to so comfortably touch him or be touched.
He hadn't completely lost that yet, it seemed. Viktor seemed relatively calmer now, too. That was good, something he didn't plan on taking for granted again.
Jayce could feel Viktor leaning most of his body weight on him. 'I need to get him a better crutch', he thought. Viktor seemed to hate any kind of help though, accusing Jayce of thinking he was weak or fragile. As if that was the only reason someone could possibly care for him.
Jayce didn't understand it, not as much as he wished he did. He wished he understood more, because maybe then he'd be able to help in a way Viktor wouldn't get mad at him for. Or help him at all.
"Calm, yes, but you still look like you've just seen a ghost." Viktor teased with a snort, his hand moving up to awipe at the small bead of blood he could see forming over the cut "Now, stop sulking. I'm still mad at you."
Viktor, much like a cat making itself right at home on a piece of furniture, leaned further against Jayce. With a slight shift of his stance, Viktor was using him as a makeshift support pillar, all of his weight practically leaning against Jayce. A small, annoyed huff passed his lips, he was more upset with himself that he had to do it than with Jayce being the only form of support he had at the moment.
A dark, ugly part of Viktor hated how well Jayce was handling this. It almost felt unfair. His heart still thudded in his ears, but Jayce was... not mad. That wasn't right. He should've been mad, he should've been something other than what he was. But for the life of him, Viktor couldn't decide if he was frustrated or relieved that Jayce was acting normal.
Jayce felt his cheeks grow hot at Viktors small action of swiping away the blood. He smiled a little "I feel like I get to react a little bit to being punched in the face" He supported Viktors weight, because it really wasn't much
And, he'd stood as support for him many times, More than he could count. Even when they were young, and Viktor could stand on his own much easier, he'd choose to lean against him. Something Jayce had loved, despite how unwilling he'd be to admit it
He missed it, maybe more than he'd ever really realized. Jayce was an easy person to please, especially when it came to Viktor. Even holding hands with him, or in this case being used as a support beam felt like more than anything he deserved. Jayce had a weird way of needing to deserve things.
Maybe that's why he revelled in his newfound fame and power. He did something, and for once things felt deserved.
Viktor was quiet as Jayce continued to support his weight, face neutral in that unreadable way he was prone to. For a brief couple of seconds, he considered making a joke about how Jayce 'really needed to start working out', but the words died on his tongue before they could even fully form in his mind. He was silent instead, simply taking a moment to observe him without being too obvious.
"You're supposed to be mad, you know."
Viktor pointed out, voice just over a whisper. A small hint of irritation still bled through. Jayce was an idiot. And a fool. And a sentimental bastard that made no sense to Viktor. Despite how annoyed he was, that dark part of him ached with a strange pang of affection. A small, bitter part of him had wanted Jayce to snap at him. Scream, hit him back, anything. That's what he deserved, isn't it?
He let out a sharp exhale, his hand moving to rest up against Jayce's chest. It was a silent signal, telling Jayce to stay exactly where he was. Because he was comfortable, and his leg was aching like hell.
"It's not fair" Viktor huffed, letting his head thud softly against Jayce's chest "How easily you can do all this"
He was being childish, he knew it, but he also just couldn't bring himself to care in the moment. Despite being well into his thirties, in these moments Viktor found himself acting like a moody teenager, though he wasn't sure if it was because he never truly had the chance to act like one in the past or if he just never emotionally matured. Either way, being childish and petty felt kind of nice in moments like this.
Jayce hummed, other hand moving to rest gently over Viktors shoulder just lightly tracing the thin muscle barely jutting out. "I thought you wanted me to 'stop being a baby'." He replied, tilting his head like a confused dog
"You're so hard to please." He brushed stray strands of a hit behind Viktors ear, hand lingering on his face for just a moment longer than necessary. They always did, no matter how small the touches. He was a very touchy person, to everyone, but especially Viktor. Not for a particular reason, he just liked being around him. It was more of a subconscious thing
And, well, because he knew very little people (if anyone) had such a privilege of touching Viktor so freely. He didn't even push Jayce away, or wave off his touch like he had done to others.
Jayce didn't know why, exactly. Yes, they were partners, but even a week or so into meeting Viktor didn't seem to mind Jayces occasional hold on his shoulder or wrist or really anything deemed appropriate.
Sometimes, maybe Viktors waist. Only when he was feeling a little more confident, and even then it was just small enough that Viktor wouldn't curse him out or get uncomfortable. Just a little self-indulgent, if anything
Viktor huffed in response, making a weak attempt at keeping his expression stoney. He knew how ridiculous he must look, a grown man pouting and complaining about his inability to stay mad at his partner, yet he still leaned into the touch. His head lolled slightly into Jayce's fingers, like a cat that had gotten too comfortable and was begging for more. For as much as he'd never admit to enjoying Jayce's physical affection, he'd never reject it either.
A years ago, when they'd first began working together, he would've slapped Jayce's hand away the second it threatened to touch him. It was always his first instinct with things like this. Viktor didn't fully understand why, much to his own frustration, but most people's touch made him feel... bad? Uncomfortable? Electric? He couldn't exactly put a name on it. But, like he does with everyone, Jayce wormed his way into his heart, and by default, into his select group of people whose touches didn't make him want to peel his skin off.
"I wouldn't have to be so hard to please if you weren't so insufferable"
He shot Jayce a half-hearted, annoyed look. But his eyes betrayed him, the corners of his eyes crinkling faintly as he fought off a smile and the small laugh that threatened to bubble up in his throat. He was about to continue with his usual snarky banter, when his breath suddenly froze in his chest.
Jayce's hand brushed up against the back of his vest, and for a split second his touch pressed up against something not quite right. Something hard that couldn't be played off as Viktor boney spine jutting out beneath his skin. It was something different. Something that wasnt there the last time Jayce had been this close to Viktor. And that brief moment of contact seemed to be all it took to throw all his thoughts off-kilter, and a cold, prickling fear settled over him.
Viktor stayed in place, holding his breath, desperately hoping Jayce wasn't as observant as he knew he was.
"Viktor? " Jayce spoke up, his tone concerned. His hand circled back to the piece jutting out from his back. He looked at him, eyes laced with worry. The same worry they'd held when Viktor admitted to his headaches, his illness, his worsening condition
Jayce remembered the first time Viktor nearly fainted, or coughed up blood. He felt helpless, especially with how harshly Viktor would push him away when he'd try to help. He felt so utterly weak, being unable to save someone he loved so much
again
The whole point of Hextech was to save people, like he knew something like it had saved his mother. When he was helpless, crying in the snow without any hope left. He got a second chance, but he wouldn't get a third. Viktor, his partner, his best friend, his mentor and his pupil. He was, everything.
Jayce hated the thought, to think it had only worsened. To think Viktors condition had worsened alone. Jayce wasn't there to catch his falls, or be there as support. Yeah, it was small and Viktor could handle himself. Still, Jayce felt bad for making him. For not being there for emotional support or something -anything.
"Leave it."
Viktor spoke up almost instantly, his shoulders tensing as he visibly put his gaurd back up. As if he had something to defend. His dignity, maybe, though that was ripped away from him years ago. He wasn't exactly sure when. Somewhere between switching to his crutch and designing his own back brace because he just couldn't work through the pain anymore.
Viktor tried to keep his breathing steady, eyes refusing to meet Jayce's. Despite his best efforts, there were a few small tell-tale signs of a rapid heartbeat, his pulse fluttering visibly and a light sheen of sweat on his pale skin. His mind was working in overdrive, desperately trying to think of any way to brush this off as nothing. He knew Jayce. He'd push it. He'd insist on an answer.
"It's nothing. Just a brace."
Viktor muttered after a moment of silence. His tone was neutral and his answer was sharp, no longer relaxed as it had been just before.
Viktor hated this. He hated the tone in Jayce's voice, the look in his eyes. It was far too familiar. It was the same one he'd seen on Jayce the first time he'd hacked up blood into his sink. The look he'd seen when he collapsed in the lab. The look he'd seen when he first woke up in the hospital. The look he'd seen when he'd rouse Jayce up from a nightmare he could never fully grasp the picture of. It was a look he hoped to never see again. And yet, here it was, the expression making him want to curl up into a small ball and sink into the ground. If only he were so lucky.
"Doctor's recommendation."
"You don't count as a doctor. Did you make it?" His hands we no longer light casual touches, now one hand was firmly against Viktors back to keep him up right and just for support in general. The other pressed solidly against his side.
"Is it metal? You'll crack a bone" He ranted, the hand at his side re-adjusting to cup Viktors face like a worried mother
"Is it uncomfortable? I thought it was just the crutch that was a problem, V, how long have you been, " This way? He internally finished his question. But he didn't speak it out loud, it sounded condescending and even he knew it. " -Been wearing this? You're gonna bruise your ribs, I mean at the very least."
He wasn't very much scolding or lecturing. He just sounded worried, maybe a bit guilty for not noticing sooner. "Are you okay?" Jayce looked back up at him. The look in his eyes remained, brows furrowed and his lips tugged into a small, anxious frown
"I have a doctorate, so technically, I *am* a doctor"
Viktor winced involuntarily as Jayce's hand pressed up against his side. He'd never been particularly fond of being touched there, and even less now, when there was something hiding beneath the thin fabric of his vest that he didn't really want anyone to ever know about. But it was Jayce's hand so it was, of course, still infinitely better than being touched by anyone else.
"Jayce.."
Viktor let out a long exhale as Jayce began to ramble on and on, refusing to answer any of his questions or let him get a word in. Instead, he just stood there silently, letting the lecture wash over him like white noise. Being scolded like a misbehaving child wasn't exactly how he'd thought this discussion would go, but it wasn't surprising. He knew Jayce had a habit of running his mouth at times like these and was usually too much of a stubborn bastard to back down.
"Im fine." Viktor bit out defensively with a low scoff, attempting to pull his face out of his hand and put some distance between them, though there was a limit to how far he could actually lean away.
"It's helped, so why does when I started wearing it matter? Stupid question, Jayce, honestly."
Admittedly, the downright disappointed tone in his voice wasnt exactly.. unintentional. He just thought that maybe, if he could make Jayce feel dumb enough for asking, he'd be able to slide his way out of this conversation. Slide away from the bitterness that threatened to bubble back up to the surface.
*Jayce frowned, eyes darting away* " You push yourself too much" *He replied.* "I'm not trying to lecture you, I'm just, I'm worried" *Jayce defended, his hand hanging in the air after being pushed away, as if he wasn't sure what to do with it*
"Why can't you just talk to me?" He'd nearly beg, eyes falling back up to meet Viktors. Jayce remembered why he used to get so frustrated in the lab, because as great as Viktor was his communication wasn't anything near what Jayce would've hoped
'Mel is always clear', Jayce caught himself thinking. This wasn't about Mel, he'd have to remind himself. She wasn't important right now and he certainly shouldn't compare the two of them. She was just, easier to talk to, he supposed.
His face was unclear, a mix of several emotions. Guilt, embarrassment, frustration, concern. The list went on, really. His eyes no longer held such concern, now. Instead it was confusion, maybe even sadness. Which was, honestly, a million times worse.
Maybe it was his dire need of sleep that kept his emotions running closer to his conscious then usual, kept him reacting to things with much more care than he normally would. Or, maybe, the punch really hadn't been enough to fizzle out the rest of his anger.
"I don't 'push myself too much'. Stop acting as if you know exactly what is going on. You don't, Jayce"
Viktor all but snapped, turning away from Jayce to take a few painfilled steps toward where his crutch had clattered to the floor. He hated this. All of it. Hated how Jayce always tried to pry answers out of him, and how he tried to treat him as if he was some helpless, fragile thing that was bound to break at the slightest push. He was fine on his own, and he didn't need anyone to baby him.
"And I do communicate." He muttered, pointedly refusing to meet Jayce's gaze. "There is just nothing to communicate. I handled it, so there's no use dwelling"
Kicking up his crutch was done in one smooth motion, clearly honed by previous practice. Viktor stood for a moment in silence, his shoulders tensing ever so slightly
"And.. it is not exactly easy when one is too busy being a fool to focus on his work."
Jayce didnt try to hold Viktor back, stopping himself from helping as he noticed Viktors very clearly painful steps
"I was focusing on work, but this" He opened his arm, gesturing around the lab "Isn't my entire life. There's the council, and my mother, and the forge, and Mel." He excused, "and you don't communicate." Jayce added
"You just did it again! The thing where you tell me I'm wrong, and you're fine, and you want me to stop trying to help you or even talk about it. Then, you get mad at me for not being here when you're the one who kept trying to get rid of my help"
He frowned, backing up. Jayce stared at Viktor, unsure what to do. "I can't win with you. I can't help, I can't leave, I can't be with you and I can't move on." He didn't seem to realize his confession as he went on.
"Just tell me what you want from me, and I'll do it" He would. "But I mean, I just can't do this. I can't keep guessing." Jayce shouldn't have left, he knew that, but it was confusing. He'd gotten back and immediately Viktor wanted him gone.
Viktor felt trapped, the weight of his own hypocrisy crushing down on him as Jayce’s words hit their mark. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, and he could feel his pulse pounding in his ears. He hated how much it stung—hated even more how right Jayce was. He had kept everything to himself, pushed Jayce away at every turn, shutting him down before he even had a chance to ask the questions that mattered.
But the thought of opening up, of showing Jayce the fractured pieces of himself, was paralyzing. Vulnerability had never been an option for him—not in the Undercity, where weakness was a death sentence, and certainly not now, when time was slipping through his fingers like sand.
"I—" Viktor’s hand clenched tightly around the handle of his crutch, the strain visible in his whitening knuckles. Words fought to escape, a chaotic storm of guilt, frustration, and fear, but they tangled together in his throat. "I don’t... I don’t know."
The admission was quiet, almost trembling, as if it hurt more to say it than to keep it buried.
"I don’t know what you want me to say," He continued, his voice growing sharper, more desperate. "Yes, you’re right—I don’t know what I want from you, from this. I don’t even know how to think about it because I don’t have the time!"
He gestured sharply, counting on his fingers as if trying to impose some kind of order on his spiraling thoughts. "A year and a half. That’s all I have before—before I can’t even walk anymore. And there’s still so much to do, so much that has to be done! So forgive me if I’m a little scatterbrained right now!"
Viktor's voice cracked as he forced the last words out, anger and fear bleeding together in a way that was impossible to mask. He didn’t mean for it to come out like this, didn’t mean to let the walls crumble, but now that they had, he couldn’t stop the torrent.
"Just... stop acting like this is easy for me. Like I don’t already know what I’ve done wrong. I know, Jayce. I know better than anyone."
The last words were quieter, almost brittle, as the fire in his voice gave way to something rawer, more vulnerable. He looked away, his grip on the crutch still unyielding, the words hanging in the air like an unfinished equation he couldn’t solve.
"At this point, I wont blame you if you leave.. you dont have to slow down for me anymore."
Jayce stared at him, eyes darting over him. "What, you didn't.. Why didnt you tell me?" He asked, his voice just barely audible. "You don't.. You've never slowed me down." He stepped closer, almost hesitantly "I'm sorry" This time his apology held more weight.
Jayce hadn't heard a lot about Viktors health, not in a long time. This, though, was so much scarier than he'd imagined. "V, God, you know I'd be nothing without you, right?" He reached out, much more careful now. He held his hand on his shoulder, mimicking the way he had a million times. From the day they developed Hextech to the day they'd gotten news Viktor would need a crutch instead of a cane.
Helpless. It's the only feeling he could describe and he knew the frustration would be a million times worse for Viktor. He remembered the feeling though, he remembered how afraid he felt calling out to help with the knowledge no one could. He'd been given a miracle, something he'd spent his life trying to harness
And now, the person who got him closest to it was in such a similar situation. Now, though, they weren't nearly developed enough to save him in time. And they certainly couldn't if he kept pushing himself in such ways
"You're. . ." He spoke, eyes crossing over Viktor as they had met. With Viktor standing across the trashed, half-blown up room with a clipboard. 'I'm here to remove anything dangerous, and according to this list,
that includes you'
" Everything" He finished his sentence, some sense of finality in his tone
Viktor tensed as Jayce stepped closer, his jaw tightening and his shoulders rising defensively. Even as Jayce’s words reached him, striking somewhere deep in the part of him that still dared to hope, his walls began to rebuild themselves brick by brick. When Jayce’s hand landed on his shoulder—a gesture as familiar as the rising sun—Viktor froze. He wanted to move, to duck out from beneath that touch that was far too soft, far too understanding. But he couldn’t. His body betrayed him, locked in place, too drained to resist the comfort even as his mind screamed against it.
The warmth of Jayce’s hand seeped through the fabric of his shirt, a cruel reminder of every time they’d stood shoulder to shoulder, building something greater than either of them. It grounded him, steadying the storm in his chest, and he hated it. Hated how soothing it felt. Hated how his body leaned into it, just the smallest amount, like a weary traveler finding shelter in a storm. And what he hated most of all was the faint twitch in his own hand, a fleeting movement toward Jayce’s, as though seeking something to hold onto. Something to keep him from falling apart entirely.
His breath hitched, barely audible, and he forced his gaze down, away from Jayce’s searching eyes. Away from the concern he didn’t feel he deserved.
"...No."
The word came out quietly but firmly, like he was trying to convince himself as much as Jayce. His eyes fixed on the floor, his grip tightening on the handle of his crutch until it creaked under the pressure. His voice was slow, deliberate, tinged with exhaustion but laced with something deeper—a resignation that made the air between them feel impossibly heavy.
"Jayce, you have to understand..." He trailed off for a moment, his brow furrowing as he searched for the right words, something that wouldn’t betray the ache clawing at his chest. When he spoke again, his voice cracked, barely above a whisper. "You are everything."
He laughed softly, bitterly, the sound short and sharp in the quiet room. "You’re the 'Man of Progress,' after all. The golden boy. The one everyone looks to when the future feels uncertain." The corner of his mouth twitched as if he meant to smile, but it faltered, and the expression died before it could form. His laughter faded, leaving behind a grim, hollow look on his face.
"If—" He paused, his voice catching, then forced himself to continue. "When I die, Hextech will still live. You’ll still live. You’ll push it forward, make it thrive, make it something the world will never forget."
Viktor finally glanced up, his eyes meeting Jayce’s for just a moment, raw and unguarded. The weight of his words hung between them like a stone sinking into deep water.
"But without you? Without the one who believes in it, who believes in everything—" His voice dropped, softer now, almost a whisper. "It would all crumble to dust."
He exhaled shakily, his head bowing again as his shoulders slumped under the weight of his admission. Viktor’s free hand twitched again, but this time, he stilled it with deliberate effort, curling his fingers into a tight fist by his side. The warmth of Jayce’s hand lingered, a comfort he wanted so badly to push away but couldn’t bring himself to.
"But what would I be without you?" Jayce just nearly begged, "Maybe Hextech would be okay without you, but" The words caught in his throat, looking for some sort of sign, some kind of hint. Should he pull his hand away? Viktor just barely leaned into him, a subtle sign he still couldn't decipher. "But, I'd crumble, " He whispered "Without you. I would've forever ago too if you hadn't given me a chance, God, you don't even understand."
He stepped closer. He felt like a broken record, but it was true. He'd have nothing if it weren't for Viktor taking that interest in him, taking those life changing risks. He risked so much, for someone he'd barely known. Maybe more so than Jayce had even realized. "You don't even understand how much you've done, do you? You're.. You're everything to me at least," He kept his voice quiet, for once. As if he was afraid of someone hearing.
He wasn't, if anything he was afraid of Viktors reaction "You have been, always, it's always been you." His hand stayed in place, fingers just slightly loosening around his shoulder "I'd be lost without you, you know that" It was true. Even now, he would be unsure. Yes, he was a smart person, he was an expert scientist. Despite this all, Viktors assistance had become a piece of his work. Absentmindedly, in ways he didn't realize.
Viktor would be fine on his own, though. Jayce was sure of it. Not that he would be or needed to be, but Viktor had gotten so far on his own already. Hextech was something they made together, yes, but so many of the risks and breakthroughs were Viktor.
Viktor’s body stiffened under Jayce’s hand, his heart pounding against his ribcage like it was trying to break free. He didn’t pull away, though; he couldn’t. The warmth of Jayce’s hand seeped through the fabric of his shirt, grounding him even as his mind rebelled. His lips parted, but no words came out, his breath uneven as he struggled to process what Jayce had just said.
'You’d crumble without me…' He repeated the words under his breath, barely audible, his tone caught between disbelief and something almost like hope. Slowly, he lifted his eyes to meet Jayce’s, searching them desperately for any sign that this wasn’t just another empty platitude. His fingers twitched on his crutch, gripping it so tightly his knuckles turned white.
"Jayce…" His voice cracked on the name, and he quickly looked away, his jaw tightening as he tried to compose himself. But the rawness in his voice betrayed him when he spoke again. "You say that now, but... I’ve seen the way people move on. How quickly they forget. What’s left of me when I’m gone? A name in some dusty journal? A footnote beneath your achievements? That’s all it’ll ever be."
He paused, his chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. For a moment, it looked like he might say more, but he hesitated, his uncertainty plain in the way his fingers tightened and loosened on his crutch as if trying to work out his frustration.
"You—" He finally began, his voice sharper, more strained, as if forcing himself to push past the wall of doubt inside him. "You’re everything to everyone, Jayce. The Man of Progress, the face of our work, the one they all look to. What could someone like me possibly mean to you? What could I give you that you couldn’t find in anyone else?"
But even as he said it, Viktor’s eyes betrayed him, flickering with something fragile, something pleading. He wanted to believe him—wanted so badly to trust that Jayce’s words were more than just pity or obligation. Yet the years of rejection, of being overlooked and forgotten, pressed heavy on his chest, choking the words he truly wanted to say.
"If you mean it—" Viktor’s voice softened, his sharpness melting into something quieter, more vulnerable, though his hands still trembled with tension. "If you truly mean it, then show me, Jayce. Prove it to me. Prove that I’m not just... replaceable. That you wouldn’t just carry on without me like nothing’s changed."
Jayce moved his free hand, running up Viktors shoulder to the side of his neck, hand not daring to tread past his jaw line. He wasn't sure what his limits were, even now. "Replaceable?" Jayce repeated, voice holding some flavour of disbelief
He lingered close for a second, fingers lacing themselves in Viktors hair. He closed the space between them, still he kept the kiss soft, something Viktor could pull away from without losing his balance.
they'd kissed before, mainly when they were younger. It was always hungry and feverish, caught up in the heat of the moment. Hands scrambling onto each other, kiss consumed by heavy breathing and clashing of teeth
Almost together in a way that mattered, in a way that wouldn't be forgotten or regretted in the morning after. Something so close to love ending up as a poorly kept secret, a mutual understanding of what could never be. What almost was.
Viktor froze, the warmth of Jayce’s hand on his neck sending a shiver down his spine. His breath hitched as Jayce’s fingers tangled in his hair, the touch so deliberate and yet so achingly tender. He didn’t move, didn’t pull away, even as every instinct screamed at him to retreat. And then Jayce closed the space between them, his lips brushing Viktor’s with a softness that felt almost reverent.
It wasn’t like before—the hungry, frenzied kisses of their youth, born out of impulse and buried under guilt. This was slow, patient, a quiet confession in itself. It wasn’t messy or desperate, fueled by frustration or fleeting desire. This was something else entirely. It asked nothing of him and yet promised everything. The kind of kiss that left no room for doubt, and that terrified him most of all.
When Jayce pulled back, Viktor’s lips parted as if to speak, but no words came. His golden-brown eyes stayed locked on Jayce’s, wide and searching, as if trying to find the lie he was so certain had to be there. But all he saw was sincerity, and it left him reeling, his heart beating so loudly he was sure Jayce could hear it.
"You..."
Viktor’s voice was barely a whisper, raw and unsteady. He blinked quickly, as though trying to clear the haze of emotions clouding his vision. His free hand hovered uncertainly in the space between them before it finally came to rest on Jayce’s chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his coat. The small, vulnerable gesture betrayed everything he couldn’t say aloud.
"I hate you"
Even as he averted his gaze away, the poorly hidden beginnings of a smile were beyond evident.
"You don't seem very hateful right now" Jayce hummed, starting to smile. His eyes flickered down to the slender hand on his chest, warmth spreading across his face. The gesture was small and constant compared to what they'd done in their earlier years.
Now, though, there wasn't that feverish haze. They'd grown, now more mature, making the urging feelings behind their past actions crystal clear to the both of them. And yet they kept quiet, for so long. Jayce wasn't sure of the situation, or how Viktor felt of it, or how he himself really felt for it.
He knew he wanted more, though. He had wanted more than their messy kisses and urgent roaming hands, needing to get done as fast as possible or trying to stay impossibly quiet. He liked all of those things, yes, but somewhere across the line he started lingering just a little too close after. In Viktors apartment, especially.
Jayce would spend the night being so blatantly affectionate, hoping it'd get across some message, some sign. Typically, though, he was either unnoticed or ignored
That might've been when he'd stop trying so much. He'd let his eyes wander to other people, feeling just a little less guilty when Mel would put her hands on his chest, or shoulder, or give him that strange look
She was nothing like Viktor, though. Something he'd gotten repeatedly upset with himself over thinking.
"You told me to," He'd reply in a quiet voice. The hand in Viktors hair retreated to rest on his shoulder. Jayce wasn't sure if the cold underneath his hand was just because of Viktors clothes, or if Viktor was freezing cold. Must've been both.
Viktor’s hand lingered on Jayce’s chest, his touch hesitant but unwilling to pull away entirely. His fingers flexed slightly, as if testing the boundary between holding on and letting go. His lips parted to respond, but the words caught in his throat as Jayce’s voice softened.
'You told me to.'
The warmth in Jayce’s tone melted something in Viktor he hadn’t realized was frozen. His eyes flickered upward, briefly meeting Jayce’s gaze before darting away again, his cheeks coloring faintly. He let out a soft, humorless laugh, his lips curving into a fragile smile.
"Yes, well," he murmured, his voice quieter now, softer, like the words weren’t meant for anyone but Jayce, "I’m beginning to think you don’t listen very well."
The silence between them stretched, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was heavy with unspoken truths and fragile possibilities, the air charged with something Viktor couldn’t quite name but didn’t dare disrupt. His shoulders sagged under Jayce’s hand, the weight grounding him in a way that felt almost... safe. And that terrified him.
"This is a bad idea. You know that, right?"
Viktor’s voice cut through the charged silence suddenly, his tone sharp yet laced with something fragile, almost pleading. He couldn’t stop the words from spilling out—how could he, when the reality of what had just happened was still settling over him like an avalanche? His hand lingered against Jayce’s chest, betraying his own conflicted emotions even as his mind raced to justify the boundaries he was already beginning to blur.
"You’re with Mel," he continued, his voice quieter now, trembling with the weight of his words. His hand tightened slightly against Jayce’s chest, his fingers curling into the fabric as if trying to anchor himself there, even as he fought against the pull of Jayce’s presence. "And this—" he gestured faintly between them with his free hand, the movement weak and uncertain "—whatever this is... it doesn’t change that."
Jayce stared at him a moment longer. He was, he knew he was. But, God, he'd throw it away for this, just a second longer of that lingering cold brought by Viktors hands, the sickening hum of his tone just crossing into a whisper. Just a second more of him, a second more together so close that for a moment Mel slipped his mind. He was everything, everything Jayce had strived to have. But he was never his, and while he was everything he was also so, so uncertain
Mel was too, though. Sometimes it felt as if he was a stock, an investment of some sort. Something that looked good next to her, a palatable name with a heavy reputation. He wasn't a partner the way he'd been with Viktor. The choice was made from the start, though. She'd voted to exile him, something that stuck. Of course she hadn't known him, but neither had Viktor. Yet he had chosen to help him. To risk his own punishment to create Hextech with him
Nothing he did right now, though, would be the right choice. He could tell Viktor that she doesn't matter, not like he does. That would be shitty, though, to her. And if Viktor called him out on it he'd have no reply. If he'd told him that she wouldn't have to know, then that would only be keeping the secret they'd kept for years
"Do you want it to?" He whispered, his tone was genuine though. Because God, if Viktor said yes then Mel would be nothing but an afterthought. If he said no then Jayce would stop in his tracks.
Jayce would tell Mel that between the council and the state of Piltover and Hextech, their relationship wouldn't get the opportunity it deserved. It's been drowned out by politics and work. Which was true, by the way. He'd considered the break up before, especially since he wasn't even sure what they were.
But it was whatever Viktor wanted, really.
Viktor’s breath hitched as Jayce’s words hung in the air between them, fragile and heavy all at once. His fingers, still resting on Jayce’s chest, twitched as if in protest. He swallowed hard, his throat tightening against the surge of emotions he couldn’t quite contain. For a moment, he closed his eyes, his jaw clenching as if he could will away the ache that came with the question.
"Do I want it to?" he repeated softly, his voice just barely audible. There was no sharpness this time, no defensive walls hastily built to protect himself. Instead, his tone was raw, trembling under the weight of an answer he didn’t know how to give.
Viktor opened his eyes again, golden-brown pools meeting Jayce’s with an intensity that betrayed every unspoken thought running through his mind. His lips parted, then closed, as if the words were too much to speak aloud. The truth was, he did want it—God, he wanted it more than he cared to admit. But wanting it didn’t make it possible. Wanting it didn’t erase Mel, or the choices they’d both made, or the uncertainty that loomed over them like a storm cloud.
"Jayce..." He began, his voice breaking slightly as he struggled to find the words. He shook his head, his hand sliding from Jayce’s chest to fall limply at his side. "I’ve spent so long convincing myself that this—us—was something I couldn’t have. Shouldn’t have. And now you ask me this?"
He let out a shaky laugh, more bitter than amused, his gaze dropping to the floor. His fingers curled into fists at his sides, his body trembling with the effort to hold himself together.
"I want this— want you— more than anything.." His voice cracked, and he pressed a hand to his temple, as if to steady himself. When he looked back up at Jayce, there was a flicker of vulnerability in his gaze that he couldn’t quite hide. "I just.. dont want to put you through that"
He trailed off, his voice barely above a whisper now.
"I'm dying, Jayce."
The silence that followed was deafening, broken only by Viktor’s unsteady breathing. He looked away again, his expression pained as he forced himself to step back, to put distance between them even though it felt like tearing himself apart.
"You have to understand," He said quietly, his tone laced with a desperation that betrayed his true feelings. "It’s not just about what I want. It’s about what’s... possible. And I don’t know if this—whatever this is—can survive the lives we’ve built. The choices made for us. Made for me."
Still, his hand hovered briefly at his side, as if wanting to reach for Jayce again but too afraid to close the gap.
"I wouldn't want you to have to take care of me though that. I'm-... it's rotten work"
"What if I wanted to?" He snapped back immediately, voice nearing a plea. "I don't care, V, I don't have to do anything. I want to. I wanna help you, I always have." He whispered, pressing their foreheads together like some sort of cat. Unsurprising of him, though.
"You aren't 'Putting me through' anything, please. I'm choosing this. I promise, I just -if I had known that you felt this way, that time was running, I wouldn't have left. "
He let out a shaky exhale, hands just barely hovering on Viktors shoulders "I shouldn't have left" The admission was soft and nearly silent, no more audible than the rapid thumping of his heartbeat.
Everything in this moment felt so slow, yet it was happening so fast his mind couldn't process his words. "I love you, Viktor. And -and I didn't know what that really meant, and I'm still not sure but I know I don't wanna leave. I know I want to be everything you want, I don't care how little time there is." The words fell from his mouth in rapid succession, still quiet, laced with little peaks or quivers.
He didn't realize when his hands started shaking, or when his jaw fell clenched to keep himself from grinding his teeth. He hadnt realized that his hands tightened over Viktors shoulder, sending a message he'd certainly vocalized.
Viktor didn’t move at first. He stood there, his breath shallow and unsteady, the words Jayce had spilled lingering in the air between them like a melody he couldn’t bring himself to believe in. He watched in baited breath as Jayce’s hands shook where they hovered, so close to his shoulders but not quite touching, as though to reach out would be to tempt fate. The tension in his shoulders ebbed slightly as Jayce finally pressed their foreheads together, his warmth an anchor in the storm of Viktor’s thoughts.
"You’re an idiot,"
Viktor whispered, the words soft, almost reverent, with no venom behind them. His lips quirked upward in the faintest ghost of a smile, his eyes fluttering closed as he allowed himself to lean forward, their faces close enough to feel each other's unsteady breathes
"A goddamm fool. You know that?"
Despite his words, there was no longer any self-deprecating bite to them, filled with anything but a loving fondness.
"This is.. now how I thought this would go, honestly"
Viktor’s hand pulled from Jayce’s chest, though he didn't dare move away. Instead, his hand traveled to where Jayce's was clamped firmly over his shoulder, cold digits digging under his palm until he had enough room to lace their fingers together, the contrast in temperature forcing chicken skin to raise on his arms.
"I had always guessed you'd do something over the top" Viktor mumbled under his breath, but they were so close together his volume hardly mattered "A firework show, or a cheesy love ballad. Maybe a call out during a speech."
Viktor’s other hand came up to hold the wrist of the hand still cupping his other shoulder, rubbing his thumb over the bracelet, tracing the rune carved into the gemstone.
"I wouldn't have put it past you."
"I wanted to.. I just wasn't sure if you'd like being so open." He smiled as their fingers fit together, "I still would, though. Tell the whole world how much I admire you. " He pulled away enough to look Viktor in the eyes.
His mind was still racing, but now it began to lul as Viktors eyes stared back at him. He was always calming, surprisingly. Viktor seemed very argumentative to some, very shut down and focused on his own career.
That wasn't true. He was actually quite an emotional person, albeit he had very strong walls up to protect his vulnerability. He was a caring person too, something other people might not have understood.
Viktor just communicated differently, in ways that were hard to understand. Sometimes he didn't communicate at all, which was admittedly very frustrating. He cared, though.
"Say the word, though, and I will" He whispered, voice near silent under his breath