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“Well go ahead and eat even more, then! Here!” Yuu eagerly offered, while spreading his arms towards Mika.
Mika coolly gazed down at Yuu from his perch atop the car. He could acutely feel how Yuu’s body was just barely maintaining itself after the constant strain he’s been putting on it the past few months… hell the past few years, probably.
The urge he had had back when he was just a vampire of wanting to steal away his childhood friend and bundle him up somewhere safe, far away from all of the scheming and exploitation, came surging back. He almost preferred back when he was more divorced from Yuu physically and wasn’t privy to all the emotional and physical strain he was under. That way, Mika wouldn't be so deeply aware of how harshly he threw himself against his limits to fight impossible battles, giving away parts of himself each time. It pained him even more that these last few fights were because of him.
Even now, after Yuu had found a can of miraculously still edible food and slurped it down in seconds, his life force was still distressingly weak and certainly not strong enough for them to delve back the thousands of years to their origin.
For the most part, Yuu let his desires freely leak to Mika without putting much effort into walling them off. So it was particularly worrying that despite being aware of how strong Yuu’s desires and determination were, they tasted feeble to Mika. Obviously, Mika knew that there was no way this was the fault of Yuu’s will and determination not being strong enough. God knows trying to go against Yuu’s desires has brought him enough grief to last several lifetimes.
“What you have now isn’t enough. I barely get any energy from them,” Mika cut off Yuu’s grinning invitation.
Yuu looked taken aback and his grin fell off his face, though his arms still stayed awkwardly held aloft.
“Huh?” He said gobsmacked.
Mika restrained himself from laughing to himself at his dumbstruck expression. You would think Yuu would’ve realized by now that not all problems can be solved by throwing yourself at the will of demons and mysterious seraphs in bids for power that exceed bodily limits. They had exchanged enough memories that Mika knew that even Asuramaru had yelled at Yuu for how haphazardly he threw his body at problems without care of whether it could withstand the strain.
Mika decided to tease him a bit, “I need way more. You need to let your powers run way more berserk.”
This constant mantra of more, more, more seemed to be Yuu’s main guiding force. Yet somehow he hasn’t suffered from the hubris of believing that he could make anything happen if he wanted it bad enough. Although Mika doubted he would ever admit it in so many words, Yuu had won his faith and even if it all came crashing down to pieces around them, he truly wanted to believe in Yuu’s vision of the future.
Ever since the disaster of the escape from the vampire keep, where he led their entire family to their deaths, Mika has feared the dangers of idealistic optimism. But, being with Yuu… it made him want to believe that things could work out. That they had a chance at fixing this mess and staying together forever like they promised.
“Desires, huh? Hmm…” Yuu went quiet as he took a moment to think.
Mika started to get a bit apprehensive as the expression on his face changed. As much as he loved Yuu, that boy could really get some scary and absurd ideas when he thought too hard. Case in point, Yuu’s face suddenly flushed and he shifted his gaze around dartingly. Mika braced himself for what would inevitably be an atrocious conclusion that no normal person would reach. (Not that that was a metric either of them were ever going to meet.)
“What kind of desires do you need me to give you, then?” Yuu kept his gaze down and pointed at where Mika’s shoes dangled from the car. Mika leaned back on his hands slightly and gazed fondly at Yuu’s fidgeting while waiting to hear whatever strange idea Yuu would come up with this time. He was pretty sure that their best bet was to find some way for Yuu to actually get enough food and energy, but he wanted to entertain any ideas this ridiculous miraculous boy had.
Of course, all of the soft, fond, bubbly feelings Mika was nursing while staring at Yuu and reflecting, abruptly popped when Yuu opened his mouth. He looked up straight into Mika’s eyes and asked, “Should I think some lewd thoughts or something?”
Mika’s mind went momentarily blank, before his brain loaded in and the implication of the suggestion caused him to lose his balance from the car roof. He desperately tried to control his facial expression and make his descent from the car more controlled and purposeful.
His thoughts ran a mile a minute since there's no way that Yuu was actually suggesting sharing his sexual fantasies? He didn’t even realize that Yuu was interested in things like that. None of the memories that had flashed through his head over the course of dining on Yuu’s desires had been indicative of Yuu being all that interested in sex. He always seemed to brush off Shinoa when she would joke about indecent things in the memories. Then again, she was in love with him and Yuu cared a lot about her. Mika still meant what he said about wanting to see Yuu be happy and live a normal life. If they can figure out how to save everyone, Yuu and Shinoa will probably end up going off and raising a family together in the future. Mika isn't going to push the matter again after their last painful argument, but she was really good for him, back then. Back when Yuu didn’t know that Mika was alive and a vampire, she and the others in his family had brought him back to life. Now that Mika knows the full picture he feels immensely grateful that they were able to take care of him then and bring back that smiling boy he remembered from their childhood.
That being said, for all of the support he would give Yuu for going off and falling in love like a normal teenage boy. He didn’t think he could handle seeing it in such a raw form. Seeing the boy you love’s fantasies about some other girl isn’t exactly a painless experience nor one Mika felt like he could handle without flinching.
Keeping his face carefully blank, Mika peered at Yuu’s face probingly once his boots touched the ground with a click of his heels onto the cracked pavement. It was definitely time to steer this conversation somewhere safer. He just needed to distract Yuu and they could all put this behind them and pretend Yuu didn’t just offer to beam horny thoughts into his brain so he could …eat them. God. This may be worse than when he was a vampire and would regularly cuddle up and bite at Yuu’s neck while drowning in self hatred.
Just as he was about to open his mouth and take back control of this discussion, Yuu abruptly dropped his mental walls completely and did what was probably the equivalent of nudging a desire towards the mouth of his demon. Mika had gotten used to just accepting whatever was given and was already thrown off so much that he didn’t think before swallowing down the desire and letting the memory wash over him.
⸻
It was a memory of sorts, from after the battle in Nagoya, when they were all on the run and hiding out in that seashore town. Yuu and Mika were sitting together in that worn down building that they had used to chain up Yuu in while he was being possessed by his demon. The concrete floor was cold and not particularly comfortable. The ceiling was filled with cracks and thick manacles dangled down from the wall. All in all, it wasn’t especially inviting, but it was one place they would be able to get privacy from the others. No one else was that keen on visiting the building for longer than necessary.
Which made the bare bones concrete room, with all of the charm of a jail cell, perfect for blood drinking purposes. Yuu knew that Mika still struggled with coming to terms with his need to drink human blood, and circumventing his self hatred to persuade him into taking care of himself was hard enough without onlookers. That and Yuu didn’t exactly want anyone to see Mika drinking from him, if he could avoid it.
Not that he was ashamed of Mika or anything! Just that… he didn’t realize just how weirdly good it would feel to have Mika drink his blood. It also felt too intimate to do in front of everyone. These moments were meant just for them.
Yuu reached across the space that hung between them and lightly grasped the back of Mika’s neck.
“Come on, Mika. It’s been three days already. You gotta drink, there’s no need to restrain yourself.” Yuu implored and slightly pulled Mika’s head towards himself.
As always, his vampire resisted and leaned his head away to the side, yet he didn't completely pull out of Yuu's grasp.
"Yuu… I'm really sorry." The other boy grimaced and screwed his eyes shut.
"I don't want to be doing the same thing to you those vampires did to us when we were kids. All I wanted was to protect our family… and now I'm just a monster continuing to hurt you…" He trailed off and pulled away completely.
Which was all sorts of frustrating to Yuu, because he could see how the other boy was clenching his hands in his lap and that a fang had popped out and was pressing an ident into Mika’s bottom lip.
It clearly was taking great restraint to not maul him. They do this little song and dance every time, even though there really is only one outcome, if they don't want Mika to go crazy or starve.
Yuu let out a sigh and braced himself to coax his vampire to drink. After unbuttoning his collar and loosening it, he shuffled closer on his knees, until he would be able to easily wrap up Mika in a hug. Then he reached out his hands and set them on either side of Mika’s cheeks, cupping his face gently.
"Hey, now. You've protected me and continue to do so, plenty. Now let me take care of you." Yuu smiled softly at Mika, as he took in his slightly shocked expression from having his brooding battle of restraint interrupted.
Mika's mouth hung slightly open as he blatantly stared at Yuu's jumping pulse point with darkening pupils. He wouldn't be surprised if drool started to leak from it, but he kept that comment to himself. Mika seemed to gain a little bit of awareness back, as he slammed his jaw shut and roughly swallowed.
"Go ahead, go ahead. Mika, I'm literally offering myself up as much as I can right now. At this rate, I'll fall asleep before you get your meal."
Mika finally broke eye contact with his neck to look Yuu in the eyes. "If you're sure…" Yuu nodded frantically. And finally…
The boy all but pounced on him as he pressed his lips to his pulse. He mouthed at his neck briefly, and finally sank his fangs into Yuu’s pulse point. A sigh of contentment escaped Yuu’s lips as he tugged his vampire closer and adjusted his limbs so they could lay down together.
If he was being honest with himself, he really enjoyed when Mika would drink from him. Getting to be close to someone he loved, after so many years of believing him dead, was extremely precious to him. Being able to just lay there for a while and embrace this boy—who he never thought he could have with him again—made everything seem okay. Thoughts of the apocalypse, vampires, and a corrupt army leading human experimentation left his mind in these moments. It was just Yuu and Mika together.
Yuu almost wished they could hug, or who was he kidding, cuddle like this outside of their illicit feeding sessions. However, the thought of bringing up that idea made him feel embarrassed and clingy. It's not like anyone else in their little family group cuddled…
As always any innocent musings were eventually interrupted by whatever weird properties vampire saliva had and the continuous sensation of Mika sucking on his neck. Yuu could feel himself start to pant a bit and the almost itchy warmth made him fidget to try and distract himself from how good it felt.
Mika never seemed to be that aware of his plight and drank without much attention to Yuu's state. He just continued to let his hot breath fan against his neck as he sucked and occasionally lapped up any stray droplets with his tongue.
Yuu almost wondered if Mika forgot all about him when he drank because of the boy's single-minded focus on his blood. That was probably for the best, admittedly, because the longer this went on the more uncomfortable his pants felt and the hotter the flush on his cheeks burned.
He resisted saying anything for a bit more until the wooziness got to him and he knew he had to cut Mika off before he retraumatizes him.
"Hey, Mika. You're gonna have to let me go, I think I'm starting to run out of blood here," Yuu whispered as he petted Mika’s blond locks.
Mika seemed to have gotten enough blood to be able to pull away after Yuu's reminder, laving at the skin around the bite one last time. Then he bleary looked up at Yuu from underneath those long blond eyelashes and gave a dopey satiated smile.
Now that Mika was no longer actively sucking away his life force, the way that the vampire was still sprawled between his legs and resting his head on his chest captured all of his attention.
He summoned all the willpower he had in his sleepy state to keep his hips still, while he tried to will away the consequences of the arousal he often got when Mika bit him. If he didn't move it would go away… if he didn't move it would go away…
Throughout his own battle of willpower, Yuu kept stroking Mika's hair, slipping his hand through the strands to detangle any knots. No matter what unfortunate situation was happening downstairs, making sure Mika felt comfortable and safe was more important. Yuu really hoped he knew how loved he was in these moments.
They laid there, both high on endorphins, neither seeming to want to get up from the cold concrete floor that suddenly seemed like the most comfortable place on earth to be.
⸻
The memory accompanying the desire Yuu fed his demon faded away leaving the pair staring at each other with panicked eyes. Yuu’s blush rose as he was filled with increasing mortification.
He stammered, “Mika, I swear, I didn’t mean to share all that. God, I didn’t even ask if that was okay to share with you-”
Mika should’ve probably interjected to stop the tirade of apologies, but he was very much still buffering over what he just witnessed. His own memories of the regular feedings when they were in hiding were clouded with hunger and guilt, so seeing Yuu’s perspective was jarring to say the least. Not only did he not mind… but he liked It?!