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If there was one thing Evan Buckley hated it was airports. He used to love them, he loved that they originally symbolized finally getting away from his parents. They meant he got the chance to travel and go to new and exciting places. An airport would be a fresh start, a new place to see and new people to meet. But then slowly they became his least favourite thing. Dropping Abby off on the trip that wasn’t meant to last long ended up meaning the end of his first serious relationship. Airports also reminded him of his parents, the most amount of time spent with them nowadays would be picking them up or dropping them off. The most painful car ride there after Maddie’s wedding, he felt on edge waiting for the comments about him having a boyfriend and wondering if they were going to say anything judgemental or even homophobic. So yeah he hated airports because they now reminded him of everything negative in his life.
Despite all that though, he was now running through the airport, adrenaline in his veins to stop Eddie from leaving Los Angeles. He had lost almost everyone, he was not about to lose the man he loved.
__
The week Buck had been dreading for the last 2 months was here. Eddie was leaving LA and moving back to Texas. He said it wasn’t permanent, but Buck knew how it would go, he would reconnect with Chris and then realise how amazing life in Texas was, he’d reconnect with his parents and his sisters and they would facetime Buck and maybe the rest of the 118 for a while, but then Eddie would slowly forget about him, his parents would introduce him to a nice catholic girl from their church and they would go on dates and eventually get married and have more kids and Buck would be alone forever in LA.
Poor Evan Buckley, the boy whose parents only wanted him for spare parts. Nobody wanted him for him. Every major relationship he had eventually ended the same. Abby left, then Ali, Taylor, even Tommy. They all left because something about Buck screamed alone. He was probably going to die alone after trying to save someone on the job.
“I’m gonna miss you.” He tells Eddie, he’s standing in his kitchen packing everything into a million boxes. Eddie was still undecided on how long he was staying in Texas so didn’t want to sell the house here in LA right away, but it sure as hell felt like he was the way all remained in his house were the couch, TV and bare bones of his kitchen, it was enough to get him through to Friday when his flight leaves.
Eddie just gives him his usual smile, the one he’s going to miss. “Come on man, this isn’t the last time you’ll see me. And hey, you could always come visit in Texas, I know Chris would love to see you.”
Eddie was the one person in his life he could always count on, he was there for everything in his life, he was his best friend in the entire world. He doesn’t know how he survived without him in his life. He's mad at himself for only realizing he’d fallen in love with him when he was leaving.
Having a sexuality crisis at 31 was not on his cards but it opened up a whole can of worms once he realised. He knew he found men attractive, hell he’s kissed guys before Tommy, but he was always drunk and told himself it's what you did when you were drunk and it never went further than making out at a club. But he never saw himself settling down or marrying a man as part of his future.
After Tommy broke his heart, he thought about what he wanted from his future, someone he trusts with his entire life, someone who could make him laugh and someone who understood him. He wanted a family, the kind of family he never got growing up, he wanted to grow old with the person he loved and walk into the next life with them. The more he thought about it the more he realized maybe that person was right in front of him all this time.
Eddie was who he wanted. He had a family already in him and Christopher, he helped raise that kid, he knew everything about his school and who his friends were, he loved that kid as if he were his own. Eddie just let him into their lives, he didn’t mind how he was always around and they became each other's safe spaces, when either of them had relationship troubles they’d confide in another. He knew he was an attractive man, but there was more to him than his looks, he cared for him the way nobody else had, Buck didn’t have to pretend to be anyone other than himself when he was around Eddie, and he didn’t judge or try to change him, Eddie loved him for who he was. Just not in the way he wants to be loved by him.
When he told him he was moving back to El Paso he wanted to be happy for him, he was getting his son back. But then it hit him, he would be moving and he might not see him again. He was suddenly living in a reality where he might have to live without his best friend, his partner, his everything.
“I don’t want you to leave.” He finally admits, not bearing his whole truth.
“You got a reason for me to stay?” He asks and as desperately as he wants to pull him into his arms and kiss him, he simply just shakes his head.
---
“Maddie I’m going crazy. I don’t know what to do.” Buck was spiraling alone in his apartment, he needed Maddie, so he waltzes into her house. “Chimneys not here is he?” He asks, coming around uninvited and he didn’t need his judgment or any snarky comments right now about how it was obvious to everyone but him, he wanted his sister who would look past his crazy meltdown.
“No, he took Jee to the Lees. Evan, what is going on, are you okay?” She asks, suddenly very worried about her brother.
“I don’t know what to do, Maddie, I love him and he’s leaving me.” He admits.
“Is this about Eddie?” She's his sister of course she can read his mind. She places a cup of coffee in front of him and lets him vent about how cruel it is that he’s leaving LA but it’s not really cruel because he’s doing it for the greater good and he should be happy for him.
“I don’t want him to leave without knowing how I feel about him.” He admits to himself and to Madie for the first time, Maddie could read him like an open book and there were only so many ways he could platonically dance around his feelings for the other man without admitting the truth.
Maddie can’t help the grin that spreads to her face, “I’m not gonna say I’m not surprised. But Ev, you gotta fess up, Eddie deserves the truth.”
Buck groans as he puts his face in his hands “What do I say to him? ‘Hey Eddie I know you’re my best friend but I suddenly realised I’m in love with you and want to jump your bones and get married, please don’t leave me.’”
“Maybe not the part about jumping his bones and marrying him, that will be sure to scare him off.” She nudges his arm and Buck can’t help but laugh. “Just be honest, tell him how you feel and who knows what might happen. This is more than just sex though right?”
“Maddie, I don’t even think he’s into men, nevermind in to me.” It’s a dig at himself more than anything, part of him believes no man or woman will ever love him the way he wants to be. “And it’s not about sex, not really, I mean sure I’ve had dreams about how he might suck my-” He cuts himself off as he realises he’s speaking to his sister, “It’s not just sex, I want to be a family, me him and Chris.’
“Are we forgetting you had a sexuality crisis like 8 months ago because a hot guy kissed you? Seuality isn’t black and white okay, maybe Eddie doesn’t like men, but I would be shocked if he doesn’t like you.” She smiles at him before hitting him on his arm, “Stop feeling sorry for yourself Evan, and tell the man you love him and then you two can be Jee and baby number #2’s uncles who spoil them rotten every Christmas and we get to watch you two be adorable and disgustingly in love.” It was official, the pregnancy had made her go insane the way she was now crying and Buck was the one comforting her as she was sobbing about how Jee needed cousins.
__
Eddie’s flight was at 7pm tonight. Bucks shift ended at 4pm, leaving plenty of time for when he originally was meant to drive Eddie to the airport, but he’d told Eddie someone called in sick and he offered to work overtime, whether he believed him or not was another story. He still hadn’t spoken to him about his feelings, how he was meant to say anything, it would be awkward and ruin their friendship and he wanted him to focus on building his relationship with Chris again.
So instead he just wallowed for the entire shift, there was a lot of down time in between calls so he spent hours in the gym pretending everything was fine. He barely says a word to anyone, he doesn’t cook, he doesn't participate in the discussion of baby names of his new niece or nephew. He was miserable and everyone around him knew it. When they eventually get a call,he tries to hone in and focus on the job at hand, it was a three car pile up and he catches himself looking around for Eddie. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t rid the other man out of his thoughts, it's not as though he could pretend he was simply off for the day and he’d be next to him next shift, this was it now. Eddie was gone.
“Come on, out with it.” Bobby pulls him aside at the end of the shift, he’s clearly had enough of his moping more than anyone.
“I’m fine.” He lies.
Bobby gives him a knowing look, “you’re not fine. You’ve been all over the place today, this isn’t like you.” It’s not accusatory, but it's the fatherly tone he takes which has Buck biting his lip to not show any emotion, “Is this about Eddie? You can talk to me Buck, you know that, about anything.”
“He’s leaving and I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again.” He admits as he slumps into the chair in Bobby's office. “I know I’m off my game, he just drops the bomb that he’s going back to Texas, and I know I’m meant to be happy, he’s getting Chris back but what if he never comes home? Bobby, he's gonna forget about me.”
“Buck, you gotta see how much both Eddie and Chris care about you.” Bobby sits in the chair next to him, putting his hand on Bucks shoulder. “You don’t honestly think either of them could forget about you?’
“People I love have the tendency to leave me.” He mumbles, fighting the tears which want to make an appearance.
“Buck.” Bobby says softly, suddenly understanding the implication of his words. “And you haven’t told him?
Buck just shakes his head not bothering to fight the tear forming in his eyes.
Bobby gets up from his chair and takes the younger man into his arms as Buck lets his emotions out. “I love him and I never got the chance to tell him, and I don’t even think he feels the same but I just don’t know what to do because he's gone.”
“What time is his flight?’ Bobby asks, looking at his watch.
“Seven.” Buck says, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.
“We got an hour and a half to get to LAX, lets go,” Bobby says grabbing his keys, leaving Buck slightly confused at where this was suddenly heading
“Wh-What?"
“The airport. You’re going to tell Eddie how you feel before he gets on the flight, and maybe if you’re lucky stop him before it's too late.”
Buck couldn’t believe his captain as he followed him out of his office. “You and Athena have been watching too many rom coms.”
___
They arrived around 40 minutes before Eddie's flight was due to take off, meaning they would be boarding any minute and Buck needed to find him before he got on that plane. They cheek the board and right there on the screen he sees AA970 LAX to ELP, gate 24.
He and Bobby practically run through the airport towards the TSA gates, with their LAFD uniforms still on, people naturally parted the way and let the two of them by without having to say anything and they manage to get to the front of the queue in no time.
“Sir, may I see your ticket?” The TSA lady asks, clearly annoyed off at the two queue jumpers.
Bobby flashes his badge, “my name is Bobby Nash, I’m a LAFD Fire Captain. We’ve been called to respond to an incident at Gate 24.” Buck smiles at the lie that rolls off his tongue, they had come up with this cover story on the drive over, people were a little too trusting when it came to first responders in uniform.
“An incident?” She asks, suspiciously looking at her tablet, “I haven’t been informed, who called for you?”
“Ma’am if you do not let us through, someone could be in serious danger, and I expect you don’t want someone to die because you refused to let two LAFD firefighters through, do you now?” Buck says turning on his charm that would let him get away with murder if he wanted.
She isn’t happy but she couldn’t argue with that, so she lets them through.
The sign for Gate 24 says it’s about a 10 minute walk from their current spot. Buck looks at Bobby who just nods “go get him son.”
With a grin on his face and determination in his mind, he begins to sprint towards the gate hoping and praying he wasn’t too late. He knows what he wants to say to Eddie but he hasn't prepared a proper speech, so he goes over and over in his head what to say. He stops sprinting when he sees the sign for gate 16-35 up ahead, and when he reaches 24 he sees that they’ve begun boarding so instead of doing the logical thing and looking for him, instead he decides to just scream his name in the hopes he isn’t too late.
“EDDIE! EDDIE DIAZ! EDDIE! EDMUNDO DIAZ!”
He gets some strange looks but after screaming his name a few times he sees his dark hair and brown eyes he’s come to love.
“Buck?” He questions, “what the fuck are you doing here?”
“Eddie.” He grabs his arm so he’s near him.
“I have to say this okay. Hear me out. Don’t get on that plane before I’ve said my peace. If you listen to me and you still want to get on that plane to Texas and never see me again that’s fine, but I can’t let you leave without telling you something.” He’s speaking really fast and hopes he can understand, his heart racing and his palms are sweating.
“Buck, what’s going on, you’re scaring me.”
“I love you.” He blurts out. He didn’t mean to come out with that right away but at least it gets his point across, “I love you Eddie Diaz. As more than a friend, and I think I have loved you for years without realizing it. You are my best friend and the one person I know will always have my back. I keep thinking about what I want from my life, I think about my future and I don’t want anyone but you. I practically live at your house anyway I can only fall asleep on your couch when you’re around, you and Christopher are the two most important people to me other than Maddie. I want a life with you, I want to wake up in the morning next to you and for you to kiss me even if I haven’t brushed my teeth. I want to make breakfast in our kitchen and swat you away when you try and butt in, I want to take Chris to school together and then show up to work and kick ass everyday. I want to go home with you, I want to raise Chris with you as well as any kids we might have ourselves, which I know isn’t biologically possible but you know we could adopt or use one of our sperm-shit I’m getting off topic here. Eddie Diaz, I have loved you maybe since your first day at the 118, and I want to love you until our last days together.”
Eddie doesn’t say anything, Buck watches him and watches the color fade from his face as he takes in what he’s just confessed.
“Buck, I-” is all he says and Buck's heart practically shatters into a million tiny pieces.
“I’m sorry. I had to say it. I’ll leave you now.” He turns to walk away back to Bobby and back to the life of disappointment when he feels his arm being tugged.
He turns back around to face Eddie whose gorgeous brown eyes are staring at him in a way he’s not seen before.
“Evan Buckley. You are one crazy person, but I think I might be crazy too if I don’t do this.”
He grabs his face and pulls it down towards his and captures his lips and suddenly Eddie Diaz is kissing him. And oh god, it felt like they should have been doing this for years. He runs his hands through his hair as he deepens the kiss and he can’t explain how right this feels. There isn’t any weirdness about him kissing his best friend, no this was how kissing someone you loved felt. They pull apart after what feels like an eternity and hear the crowds of people clapping for them bringing a blush to both their cheeks.
Buck presses his forehead to the man he loves, “you asked for a reason to stay, is this enough of one?”
Eddie smiles at the other man who had done what he’d been too afraid to do. “Yes Buck, god yes! I love you too. That’s what I was waiting for. I was waiting for you to tell me to stay.” He kisses him again softly and he looks into his eyes with a thousand emotions words can’t convey.
“I’m still gonna go to Texas.” Eddie tells him and for a second Bucks heart breaks again, even after his confession he still wanted to leave, upon seeing his face and the tears begging to drop from his eyes the other man simply caresses his cheek, “hey hey. I’m gonna go to Texas, and bring our son home.”
This brings the greatest of smiles to Buck's face, “Our son?”
Eddie kisses him again softly, “Yes, Our son. We can start that family you want so bad. Maybe just start off with Chris before we think of any other kids though.”
The blood starts flowing to Buck's face, “maybe I got a little carried away there.”
“Eh, I guess we say crazy things when we’re in love,” God his smile, his smile was his favourite thing in this world.
“You really love me?” He asks, still not believing anyone could.
“Very much so.” Eddie says pulling him in for one last kiss before he misses his flight.
“I’ll be waiting for you both.”
“You better be. I love you and I will see you soon.”
2 weeks later Buck is back at LAX, this time at the arrivals gate with crowds of other loved ones. He’s got a sign that says ‘Welcome Home Christpher’ with a stick figure drawing of the three of them that he will claim Jee helped him draw if questioned.
“Buck!” Chris sees him before he sees them and he can’t help the smile that flashes as his two favorite people rush towards him. He doesn’t need to crouch down to hug him anymore, he’d gotten so big and it made him tear at the thought he and Eddie would continue to watch him grow, together. This was it for him, no turning back.
“Hey.” Eddie says when Chris has finally let go of Buck, a bright smile on his face, “I missed you.”
“Eh I hardly noticed you were gone.” He teases and pulls him in for a kiss, still in disbelief that this was something they did now.
“Eww can you not do that while I’m around.” Chris moans, Eddie had told his son everything and he was excited and happy that they finally got their shit together, but he wasn’t super happy about the PDA.
“No way mijo. Your teenage years are about to get so much more embarrassing.” Eddie tells him as he kisses his boyfriend once more and Buck was looking forward to the future he was going to build with the man he loved by his side.
And maybe airports weren’t so bad after all.