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FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
DATE: Nov 8 at 23:57
SUBJECT: if you’re reading this
Hey. I don’t know why you blocked my number. I just know that I have your email for some reason. Maybe you check it and maybe you don’t, but it doesn’t really make a difference if you don’t want to see me. I’ll respect that and stay away until I can’t stop myself.
Everything’s a bit different since we stopped talking. I feel more alone than I used to, which is weird because I’m not. I’m the same amount of alone as I was before. Maybe even less. You made all the difference, I think. I can’t put it into words but you left a gap.
I’d like to say that this gives me more time to focus on school and making friends and thinking about my future, and I’ll only say this because I’ve convinced myself you won’t read it, but all I see when I think about my future is you. I wonder what you see. Maybe the successful man your brother wants you to be. Maybe that’s why we stopped talking. Am I stopping you from becoming that? Were you ever supposed to be that man in the first place?