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Every step I took with you was a play, a waltz of good intentions and faith.
You extended your hand to me as though asking for a dance. Though you sought to employ me you, in actuality created a stronger bond which broke from brotherhood and transcended an oath. My eyes had always been such an endless mine shaft where others saw coal you saw the small flecks of gold discarded it. You treasured the coal and took my hand.
Life lead us down a path of newfound knowledge, joys and horrendous outcomes but I was there to hold your pride, shielding your face from onlookers.
At the loss of family, your delimited grew, in fits and historical you ran down to the seaside in your best, with trousers ankles high in water and the sea spray on your tear stained face. You asked me then to dance with you again just like when we were children taking lessons from a turtle who sat hunched, old and already flying to her own end of time. Skin like rough leather she taught us things we would never need just dancing... oh Lord, the way we would dance until nightfall across the floor, through the archway and out the door where we would grow silent once more.
We grow farther apart despite being so close and speaking so many a time.
I knew my truth and you knew yours, that’s what allowed our feet to glide in perfect time and pace to where the waves met our necks and the blade arched at each others throats beneath the ocean blue.
So blue like the navy curtains of the ballroom.
I stand in the snow with the blade trembling in my hand to gut the pig who’s rabbit heart played such a soft melody I had to look away. Collapsing in a heap I heard the call of the creatures to join them out by the seashore. You haven’t any idea how tempted I was to gather my cape and join them in their festivities. But instead, I trudged through the snow, legs as heavy as if I had joined them, humming the tune and swaying in my own time.
Your death had, in end- been meaningless and while I am not the only one who mourned you, I am alone in the musical hall where we once shared so many happy memories with melodic pings of the keyboard now hung still in the air. The autumn winds slip through the baseboards of the windows and dispelled the fantasy. The clouded sky no longer masks the harsh reality that it was I, your humble and trusting servant who swore to protect you, in the end, plunged the knife into your chest. I am the lizard who held your head underwater while you desperately tried to break free. You turned pale and lifeless before my eyes while our orchestra bowed and the music faded.