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Japan is a modest recluse country, that's just a fact. She'd never gotten close to many countries other than Italy and Germany. And she always thought it would stay like that, forever. But the cool almost flawless western country had other plans, walking into her life as if it had owed the girl something. "Hey, Japan!" She smiled so happily like she was a sun radiating. She treated Japan like she was a friend... like she wasn't an antisocial weirdo who stayed in her own space all the time. It was the type of warmth she never experienced before, not even in China. What could America see in her? She wasn't as bright or even had that same glisten in her eyes like her. So it made her confused.
"Hey, Japan." The blonde spoke up, they were sitting over the edge of the rooftop of a building. Japan knew they had to go, knew it was dangerous and they should leave but she just couldn't say no to the younger country. She was always scared, always scared to take a leap at life. "Yes, America-san?" she responded back, curious about what the other girl had to ask her. "Is China a bad sister or something?" She asked bluntly, Japan knew America was bad at reading the room but to say that... so suddenly and out of nowhere, Japan knew she should probably take offence at America for even suggesting China was a bad older sister, but she just couldn't "Cause, like, England's always on about how China has always been shitty on taking care of kids and that she doesn't know how to raise one." She said casually, sipping on the beer she brought up here. Another thing America was better at than Japan, drinking liquor. More than 3 sips of alcohol and Japan would've been drunk as hell and almost passing out. And this was America's 3rd bottle of the day and she still wasn't drunk off her mind, how cool...
"I mean, China always taught me to be independent and use wit. I wouldn't necessarily call her a bad sister, just not really available for support." China taught her everything she needed to know as a country, yes, the other country wasn't always there for her when she needed her the most and yes, their relationship has strained over the years because of past mistakes. But she still loved her older sister. "Hm, must just be England being a trash-talking gossiper then." America laughed, looking down at the ground of the tall building. "The views are quite stunning, you know Japan?" She smiled sweetly, God her smile was so soft and happy. Like she was free of any problems in life. "Yeah... you're stunning." Japan blurted out, suddenly she scrambled to find the words to show it was a mistake, she felt so embarrassed. America just smirked finding her nervousness entertaining. "Japan, girl... you gay or something?" The blonde joked as if what she said was the most careless thing in the world, Japan couldn't tell if America was serious or not.
"I-I... I'm not a homosexual, America-san!" She yelled, panicked to find a response. Her face was as red as the sun on her flag. "Dude, don't worry, was just joking." The younger placed a hand behind the older country's back. Japan felt most of her worries run away at America's gentle yet confident nature. She got her mind straight and tried to focus "Why... why does England not like China exactly?" She said cautiously. America looked back at the sky, gazing at it carelessly "Eh, I don't know honestly, guess the Opium Wars got them fighting and shit. Maybe England just doesn't like China's manners and views." She muttered she was so casual in the way she talked. So unlike Japan's careful and thought-out words. "But hey, that's just a small theory." She drank again from her beer. Japan stared at the bottle in her hands, her soft lips on the bottle hole. They were light peach, probably from the lipstick she used every day. Japan noticed her love for wearing that thing. Suddenly, Japan spoke not thinking carefully like she usually does.
"Do you think it's fine... for women to like... other women?" She asked cautiously, she didn't know why she said that. Of course, Japan had her own societal norms. She wasn't used to homosexuality being accepted in her society, it was hard for her to not stick with tradition and the past. "Huh, oh yeah. I've seen lots of chicks in my country kissin' and stuff." She turned to Japan, grinning widely, stupid smile, stupid pretty eyes. Why was she having these thoughts? "R...really?" Japan looked at America as if she said the most bewildering thing ever. "Yeah, we're way more progressive now. Gay guys and gay girls are like everywhere on the streets." America added that this topic was taboo to Japan but it seemed like an everyday one to America. "Why, are you starting to like girls?" America chuckled a stupid giggle. But, Japan took America's words seriously... did Japan seriously? I mean, she never found any woman's lips kissable other than America's, never found any other woman's eyes as pretty and starry as America's. So... was she queer or just in love with the blonde?
"No," she spoke up after a moment of silence. "I don't think I'm gay, I think I'm just in love with you," Japan confessed, that she felt her heart pounding so fast, she couldn't believe what she had just said.
Japan's never taken a leap of faith in life, never tread under dangerous waters. But, she wanted to live for once, wanted to be selfish for once. America's sky-blue eyes widened at Japan's words, she couldn't tell if her heart was racing because she was in love or because she was absolutely terrified of America's reaction. Before the younger country could respond, Japan added more.
"I wish... I wish you were a man, so loving you wouldn't be so hard." Japan didn't know why she kept continuing, why she was telling America all of this. But, she just wished... that loving that girl was acceptable, that being a country in love with another country was acceptable, that being a female country in love with another female country was acceptable. She wished she could be as brave and as confident as America because right now, she was the exact opposite. Wishing she could retract her words and just stay back in her corner. "Japan, I..."
"I love you too, dude." Japan's eyes widened at her response, her feelings and thoughts were... accepted by her?