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Saint still wakes up in Shin’s bed most days. Nothing’s changed between them in the year since high school graduation.
Except, he wants to brush his finger across Shin’s sleeping eyes. He wants to drive a little too fast, so Shin will have to grab him tight around the waist. He wants to ask Shin for hugs even when he’s fine.
Maybe it’s the extra time away from each other that’s making him clingier. As grateful as he is that Shin's following his football dreams, he’s still bitter about not being allowed into practice. The coach deemed him too loud and distracting. But he drives Shin to and from every day. Like with school pick-ups and drop offs, it’s imperative to his life.
Today, his delivery clients were extra persnickety, and he couldn’t get there early like he meant to. By the time he makes it, Shin’s already outside, a teammate’s arm thrown around his shoulders. They’re surrounded by a group of giggling, college girls. One of them leans into Shin’s space, and he smiles at her. She’s the prettiest girl Saint’s ever seen. Her eyes look electric even from his distance, and her long, black hair cascades down her back in perfect waves.
Saint’s jaw tightens without his permission. He takes a deep breath and focuses on keeping his hands loose. Once that feels easier, he tugs his mouth into a smile. He’s chill. Other people can hug and flirt with Shin without Saint losing his shit. It’s all fine.
For a moment, he waits to see if Shin will notice him. It’s an eternity. Then he gives up. He shoves his hands into his jacket pocket and ambles over, the picture of serene. Shin’s teammate notices him first and waves. He does his best to respond.
“Saint!” Shin finally calls out. “I was beginning to think your customers ate you!”
He exits the crowd to a chorus of aw’s from the girls and pulls Saint back to his bike. There’s no introduction or mention of them later.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It’s just them in the house. Shin’s mother is on business. Chingching is old enough to have sleepovers of her own now, and they’d already dropped her off.
Shin tosses a sleep shirt at his face. The first time he slipped it on, it was backwards. Saint’s stomach had been burning all day. It doesn’t help to have Shin so close right now. Not when Shin might have been hiding someone from him that he might be doing this with soon. He pulls himself together enough to get his pants on right the first time around.
“Hey Saint, what’s wrong with you? You’ve been weird all day.”
He can’t run from this. He has to face this head on. “Do you have a girlfriend you haven’t told me about?”
“What?” Shin’s face scrunched in confusion, like Saint’s lost it.
“You were smiling at one of the girls, and you didn’t introduce me...”
“Are you dumb? I was smiling at a girl, and I didn’t introduce you to them? That’s what this is about? Ugh.” Shin flops down onto the bed and covers his face with an arm. “She’s a teammate’s little sister.”
Saint sits next to him and pulls at the arm until he can see Shin’s face again. “Are you falling for her?”
Are you leaving me? is what he actually wants to ask.
That makes Shin sit up. They stare at each other until the moment stretches thin.
“No, not for her.” Shin’s voice is soft like a confession. “You know exactly who I’m falling for.”
Saint’s entire world focuses down to those words. He wraps a hand around Shin’s neck and pulls, slowing down when he gets close to ask for permission. It feels too new to ask in words.
For all his care, he gets a palm to the mouth shoving him away. His stomach drops and panic crowds the edges of his vision. He’s ruined everything.
“Don’t make that sad dog face at me! What? You’re going to act like a kicked puppy all day and then do that? That’s what you want this memory to be about?” Shin shouts.
“What? Memory?”
“Ask me out, you idiot! Take me somewhere nice! I wanna have good memories attached to this. Not a fight!” He falls back to bed and pulls a blanket over his head. But it’s too late, Saint already saw the red in his face.
He cuddles close to the bundle. “Hey, Shin. Do you wanna go out with me? We can go get dinner right now. There’s a convenience store still open down the street. I’m sure they have cup noodles we can heat up. Since I’m so irresistible, we should go sooner than later.”
“Saint, you jerk!” An enraged Shin emerges from his cocoon, like Saint knew he would, andshoves him. They scuffle for a bit. When they settle, Saint has his face in Shin’s neck and a leg thrown over his thighs to keep from getting kicked.
“Can we stay like this?” He whispers.
“Get your leg off me first. It’s gonna hurt soon.” Shin wraps his arms around Saint’s shoulders. He mutters, “Go to sleep.”
“Shin?” Saint asks.
“Yea?”
“I’m falling for you too.”
Shin snorts, but he pulls Saint in tighter.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
They’re on the road one afternoon when Saint asks, “Hey, do you wanna go out on a date with me?”
He turns in his seat to look back when there’s no reply. “I could feel you blushing.”
Shin’s hands come up to point his head to the front. “Stop being reckless! Eyes forward.”
“I just wanted to see your face. And the pretty pink blush on it. It suits you.”
Fingers press into Saint’s cheeks, dangerously distracting. “You’re one to talk. I can feel how hot your face is.”
“My face is hot. Thank you! So, what do you say?”
“Fine! I’ll go out with you. I want kaprao moo and bread and ice cream and then I want to go to a movie. You’re paying.”
Saint’s laughing by the end of it. “Hmm. Tomorrow?”
“Now! I’m hungry.”
His stomach flips, and he speeds up his bike like he’s wanted to for so long. Shin clings and smacks him in the shoulder, yelling at him to slow down.
They end up at a roadside shop, kicking at each other’s ankles and laughing like children. Saint’s entire body feels like it could float into the clouds. When Saint throws his arm around Shin’s neck, he leans into it. This is like every time they’ve been together and nothing like that at all.
He whips out his phone. “A couple photo? For real this time?”
“Are you going to get this one printed and framed too?”
“I have to! Smile!”
The city moves behind them, ignorant to their joy. They’re not in fancy cloths, but they glow. Saint’s going to buy the best frame he can afford for this.
“One more!”
He sets a timer for 5 seconds and changes the angle. Right as it goes off, Shin puts a palm to his face and kisses him on the cheek. He almost drops his phone.
Shin’s laughing. “Now who’s blushing, huh?”
“That’s not fair. I look so dumb in this photo. Do it again!”
“Don’t be greedy.” Shin starts walking towards a bread ship like nothing had ever happened. Saint runs to catch up with him and pulls him into a cheek kiss. The camera snap fades into the background. Shin’s entire face is pink.
“This is going to be the perfect phone background.” He smirks as he admires the photo.
Shin tackles him from the side. “Don’t you dare!”
Saint throws his hands up in defeat and leans into Shin’s arms, turning the tussle into a hug. “Fine. Fine. I’ll use the first one for now.”
It’s sunset by the time they’re done with everything on Shin’s list. They’re on the roof of Saint’s house, letting their shoulders press together as their legs swing out over empty air.
“Saint?”
“Hmm?”
“You can kiss me now.” Shin’s already facing him, lit golden.
Sweat lines Saint's palms. He leans in until Shin meets him halfway. When their lips connect, Saint feels like he’s the sun itself.
The streetlights are on by the time they stop. Shin keeps his arm wrapped around Saint’s waist. His hair is messy from Saint running his hands through them.
“You’re everything to me. I’m going to stay by your side until I die,” Saint promises.
“Ugh, you sap.” Shin turns his face away from him but leans back into him.
“You like me sappy.”
“No, sappy or not, I love you.”
“I love you too.”