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The air was cold, and the streets were eerily quiet as midnight slinked into the city.
Under the glow of distant streetlights, Marvin carried a ladder like it was a sword—steady in his hands but heavy enough to make his arms tremble slightly as he trudged down the uneven sidewalk. Cordelia walked beside him, swinging a bag back and forth with the kind of purpose that only comes when you're on a mission.
Yes. The mission they were currently on was something they've been planning for weeks. They're going to head up the highway and rearrange the letters on the billboard sign. Anyone who does that is sure to become high school legends — so Marvin managed to convince Cordelia to come do it with him.
Cordelia's bag was filled with a mix of sandwiches and baked goods that she'd insisted on whipping up after a few weeks of watching cooking tutorials.
Most of them were inedible.
"You've got no idea how amazing this is going to be," Cordelia said with far too much confidence. She pulled out a sandwich from the bag and handed it to Marvin, the edges slightly sunken and misshapen. "I promise you, it's gourmet. My own recipe. You’re going to love it."
Marvin hesitated, staring at the sandwich with doubt written all over his face. Cordelia has been pretty obsessed with this whole "cooking" thing recently — but no one's had the heart to tell her just how much her cooking sucks.
He took a deep breath as he stared down at the lumpy, discoloured bread. His nose wrinkled slightly. "Uh... Oh, wow. Thanks. This looks... Great," he managed to say.
He might just die if he eats this.
He bit into it anyway.
...
He immediately regretted it.
The texture was wrong, the bread was soggy, and whatever sauce she'd put on it tasted like a confused blend of pickles, soy sauce, and desperation. Marvin struggled, trying to chew while simultaneously fighting the urge to gag.
"This is... great, Cordelia," he said, voice strained and muffled by his mouth full of food.
Cordelia was staring straight ahead, her voice enthusiastic as she beamed from his response. "See? You like it, right? I told you I was getting better at this cooking thing! Maybe I'll open a business one day or something. New York could use a Cordelia special café." She laughed, her familiar cackle filling the air.
Marvin gave her an unconvincing thumbs-up while attempting not to retch. When he saw she was looking away, his face turned red and he discreetly maneuvered the sandwich and the bite in his mouth into his hand before throwing it into a nearby bush, wiping his hand down on his pants. "Mmm... Delicious," he grumbled.
They kept walking down the cracked pavement, past street corners and lampposts, eventually cutting through a grassy field alongside the highway. The wind tugged at their hair as they made their way toward the large, looming figure of the billboard.
The sound of cars whooshing past them filled the air, their headlights flickering like fireflies in the horizon.
They finally made it to the billboard, the platform high up above. It was their goal. Their masterpiece. The blank canvas for their dreams. Cordelia held her breath as wind whipped against her face from the cars zooming by, but Marvin seemed mostly unfazed.
Marvin set the ladder down, adjusting it so that the top peaned against the platform of the metal billboard, its shadow stretching over the grass like a dark, ominous figure. He adjusted his jacket and turned to Cordelia.
"Ready for this?" He smirked.
Cordelia eyed the billboard nervously. She shrugged, smiling a little. "Marvin, are you sure we won’t get caught? What if someone notices us up there and calls the police?"
Marvin gave her a half-smile and waved her worries off. "Please. This is New York. The last thing anyone’s going to do at midnight is pay attention to some kids playing with a ladder." He rolled his eyes, brushing her off. "Besides, after all this, we'll be legends at school. It'll be epic, trust me." He said confidently, with that note of finality in his voice that always screamed "I'm right and you're wrong".
Before she could argue, Marvin grabbed the ladder and began to climb. Cordelia hesitated at the base of the rungs, glancing at the cars whizzing by on the highway. She carefully adjusted the ladder, biting her lip as she watched him climb, realising just how high up he was. "Marvin..." She began, but before she could finish, he was already up there.
Marvin, already perched near the top of the ladder, began to hold the top of the ladder, nodding down at Cordelia. "Come on, hurry!" He exclaimed in his deep voice, gesturing for her to come up.
Cordelia huffed, but followed anyway, adjusting her bag to hook properly on.her shoulder before planting her feet down on the steps, climbing up.
She took a deep breath as she awkwardly climbed upwards, sparing a quick glance down at the ground below.
...Higher up than she thought.
Anxiously biting her lip, Cordelia continued upwards until she reached the top, being hoisted to her feet by Marvin, who grabbed the back of her shirt and roughly yanked her up.
"Okay, come on, we've got work to do." He said seriously, turning to the billboard. His nose wrinkled as he stared back at the original words. "'Welcome to New York City'?" He scoffed. "Boring. What pansy thought that up?"
Cordelia shuddered as she carefully maneuvered her way over, sinking to the floor of the platform. "I don't know, Marvin—let's just get this over with, 'kay??"
Marvin shrugged, and began fiddling with the letters on the billboard. His hands moved quickly, pulling and twisting the illuminated tiles into the arrangement he and Cordelia had planned.
"Just hold your breath and enjoy the ride," he said with an overconfident grin.
But Cordelia wasn’t enjoying anything. The height was dizzying, the wind was howling, and she could feel her stomach drop as she looked down at the lights of the cars below.
"Marvin..." She said hesitantly, firmly pressing her palms against the platform.
"Yeah?"
"What if someone sees us?"
"Relax," he said without looking at her.
Before Cordelia could argue again, she let out a sudden sharp yelp and flung herself towards Marvin, her eyes blown wide as she tugged on his arm. "MARVIN! Oh my God, Marvin—look at that!!"
Marvin didn't pause in his rearranging, and didn't turn to even look either. "What?" He asked impatiently.
"Oh my God, Marvin, it’s a body," She hissed in sudden panic, gesturing urgently.
Marvin froze mid-rearrangement, finally looking over at her. "What?" He repeated.
Cordelia’s voice was shrill. She was staring down at the ground below, her hands shaking. "It—It's a body! Down there! A dead body!"
Marvin's eyes widened slightly and he whipped around, following her gaze — but there was nothing but dark bushes and scattered trash. His face scrunched up. "That's a garbage bag, Cordelia."
"No! No! It's moving! I swear, it's moving!" She insisted, her voice a high-pitched squeak.
"If it's moving, it's not dead." Marvin groaned, waving her off as he turned back towards the sign. "Relax. You've got an overactive imagination. It's fine."
Cordelia blinked, staring down at the garbage bag below, before chuckling and letting out a shaky breath. "Oh, silly me! It is a garbage bag." She let out a long, relieved sigh as she leaned back against the board.
"Yeah, go back to sleep." Marvin rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he reached towards the letters.
But before he could go back to arranging his letters, Cordelia—out of nowhere—screamed again, this time louder, and leapt toward him. Her eyes were wide and horrified as she pointed again. "Marvin—MARVIN!—"
Marvin let out a loud groan of annoyance as he spun around to face her. "What now?"
"Look!"
And as Marvin followed Cordelia's finger, he froze.
His stomach dropped as he turned his head and saw—something.
A possum.
A small, scraggly, and unamused possum was prowling right at the top of the ladder, looking like it had every intention of having a casual snack or two.
Marvin’s face went pale.
"A POSSUM!" Cordelia wailed, hiding behind Marvin despite his protests. "Do something!"
"What—why me?!"
Cordelia shrugged helplessly. "You're the man!"
Marvin's mouth fell open, as he whipped around to glare at her. "Oh, now you're fine with that stereotype?!"
"Go!!" Cordelia insisted, recoiling at the sight of the grotesque rodent.
Before Marvin could think, his adrenaline kicked in.
His panic got the best of him as he bolted forward, not thinking. His foot collided with the base of the ladder. The ladder wobbled, groaned, and then tipped backward with a terrible screech as it fell to the grass — taking the possum with it.
...
Uh.
"Marvin, what were you thinking?!" Cordelia shrieked incredulously, leaning heavily against the billboard as if it might save her.
"Hey, you told me to do something!" Marvin defended himself, hands flailing.
Cordelia groaned, huffing. "Okay, great. Now how are we supposed to get down, genius?"
Marvin tried to steady his breathing. His face was red. "Okay, okay, okay. We’ll just—uh—call someone to get us down, alright? Just... hold on."
Cordelia didn’t look convinced.
"Call Whizzer," she suggested. "He’s always good with this kind of stuff."
Marvin groaned. "I told you, Cordelia—we’re fighting. Remember that? I can’t just call Whizzer out of nowhere."
"Well then call Trina, then!" She retorted.
Marvin groaned louder. "Me and her are fighting, too, Cordelia."
She put her hands on her hips and stared at him with narrowed eyes. "Great. So what are we supposed to do now?"
Marvin sighed, defeated, and looked around. His voice was subdued as he muttered, "Fine. You call Charlotte."
Cordelia raised an eyebrow. "Charlotte? You think she’ll help us out of this mess at midnight?"
Marvin hesitated, then shrugged. "We’re out of options, aren’t we? I'm sure as hell not calling Mendel." he scoffed.
As she began rummaging for his phone in his pocket, the sound of rushing cars, the wind, and the possible presence of a possum made the night feel colder and longer than it ever should have.
And that was how they found themselves—stranded on a highway billboard with no real plan, arguing, and without a way down.
The wind howled as the cars continued their steady procession below.
And so, at midnight, they began calling Charlotte.
But would she answer?
The bar smelled like stale beer and bad decisions, with low lighting and an overzealous jukebox blasting ‘80s power ballads.
Whizzer sat on a stool near the counter, looking far too smug for someone waving around a very fake I.D. He’d somehow managed to charm his way into getting served, and now he was nursing his third vodka soda.
"Honestly, Charlotte," Whizzer said, dragging the straw through his glass in lazy circles, "he’s so exhausting. Like, why does everything have to be about him all the time? It’s like I’m dating a toddler." He said, before pausing. "Wait, that actually sounds weird, ignore that."
Charlotte, sitting beside him, barely touched her drink—a soda she’d asked for after declining Whizzer’s increasingly enthusiastic offers of shots. She raised an eyebrow at his comment.
"Do I even want to know what the argument is about?"
"No, because it’s boring, and Marvin’s boring, and I’m not," Whizzer declared, leaning back dramatically. "Anyway, I told him we should go out together more." He said, telling her what happened despite saying he wouldn't. "You know, like normal couples do. And you know what he said? He said—'Whizzer, not everything can be fun and games'." Whizzer threw up his hands in mock horror. "What does that even mean?"
"It means you probably exhausted his will to live," Charlotte deadpanned.
"Probably," Whizzer replied, unbothered, before downing the last of his drink. "Whatever. I’m amazing, and he’s lucky to have me."
Charlotte snorted. "Clearly."
Unlike Whizzer, Charlotte had no complaints about her relationship. Cordelia had been her usual sweet self lately—making her cringe-worthy sandwiches, rambling about her latest hobby, and texting her at the weirdest hours with memes and updates about her day. Sure, Cordelia could be a little eccentric, but Charlotte found it endearing.
Just as Whizzer launched into another tirade about Marvin’s supposed sins, Charlotte’s phone buzzed on the counter. She glanced down and frowned at the screen.
"Cordelia?" she muttered, confused.
"At midnight?" Whizzer chimed in, intrigued.
"Exactly," Charlotte said, picking up the call. "Hey, Cordy—"
Before Charlotte could finish, the response came fast and frantic. "Charlie! Oh my God, we’re stuck on a billboard—Marvin kicked the ladder, and now we’re stranded, and there was a possum—"
"Wait, what?" Charlotte interrupted, holding up a hand as if Cordelia could see her. Whizzer leaned in closer, clearly eavesdropping with interest. "Slow down. Billboard? Possum? What are you talking about?"
Cordelia’s voice came through again, a mile a minute. "Marvin and I were rearranging the letters on the highway billboard—you know, for fun—and there was this possum, and then Marvin kicked the ladder, and now we’re stuck, and I need you to come get us down. Please!"
Charlotte pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing deeply. "Let me get this straight. You and Marvin thought it was a good idea to climb a billboard at midnight, and now you’re stranded at the top because Marvin panicked over a possum?"
"Yes."
There was a long pause.
"Okay," Charlotte said, her voice resigned. "I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Just—don’t do anything stupid until I get there, alright?"
"Too late for that," Cordelia muttered before Charlotte hung up.
Whizzer perked up immediately. "What’s going on?"
Charlotte shot him a look. "Your boyfriend and my girlfriend are stuck on a billboard."
Whizzer blinked. "I’m sorry, what?"
"Exactly what I said."
He grinned, sitting up straighter. "Oh, we’re absolutely going. Let me grab my coat."
Charlotte rolled her eyes but didn’t argue. If she was going to deal with this ridiculous situation, she might as well have backup.
Charlotte’s car was ancient but reliable, and it was the only vehicle in her family that wasn’t parked in plain view.
She eased it out of the parking lot by the bar as quietly as possible, with Whizzer in the passenger seat adjusting his jacket like they were about to pull off some grand heist.
"Where are we going first?" He asked, already rummaging through the glove compartment for snacks.
"My house," Charlotte said, keeping her eyes on the road. "We need a ladder."
"Oh, so Marvin destroyed their ladder, and now we have to risk our ladder?" Whizzer said, popping open a bag of chips he’d found. "Unbelievable."
"You don’t even own a ladder," Charlotte said flatly.
"Well, it’s the principle of the thing," he replied through a mouthful of chips.
The stop at Charlotte’s house was brief and stealthy. She parked around the corner and snuck into the garage, emerging a few minutes later with a foldable ladder balanced on her shoulder. Whizzer, meanwhile, lounged in the passenger seat and hummed along to the radio until she returned.
The drive to the billboard was silent, except for Whizzer occasionally muttering things like, "I cannot wait to see Marvin’s face," or "Honestly, this sounds like something he’d write an apology letter about tomorrow."
When they arrived, the billboard was just as ridiculous as Charlotte imagined.
There, perched at the top, were Marvin and Cordelia, their silhouettes illuminated by the glow of the rearranged letters they’d been working on.
"Is that supposed to say 'WELCOME TO NERK'?" Whizzer asked, squinting at the letters.
"They’re idiots," Charlotte muttered, parking the car and stepping out with the ladder.
Whizzer followed, looking up at the stranded duo with a wide grin. "Hey, Marvin!" He called. "Nice job! Did you want to leave it like that, or was the goal always to confuse people?"
"Whizzer!" Marvin snapped from above. "Can you not? We’re stranded!"
"Oh, trust me, I know," Whizzer said, crossing his arms. "Charlotte told me everything. Don’t worry, babe, I’m here to save you."
Charlotte snorted as she set up the ladder. "Technically, I’m saving them. You’re just here for the commentary."
Whizzer shrugged. "And doing a damn good job, if I do say so myself."
"Can we focus, please?" Cordelia called down, clutching Marvin’s arm like her life depended on it. "The possum’s still somewhere down there!" She squeaked.
"Oh, for the love of—" Charlotte muttered, shaking her head as she adjusted the ladder.
It was going to be a long night.
Charlotte steadied the ladder against the billboard and looked up at Marvin. "Okay, you first," she said firmly.
Marvin hesitated. "What if it’s not stable? What if it slips? What if—"
"It’s stable, Marvin," Charlotte interrupted, rolling her eyes. "The sooner you get down, the sooner we can all go home."
"Fine," Marvin muttered, his face a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment as he carefully started his descent. Whizzer, standing at the base of the ladder with his arms crossed, looked up and smirked.
"Nice to see you, sweetheart," Whizzer called. "Did you miss me?"
Marvin glared at him but said nothing until he reached the ground. As soon as he did, Whizzer threw an arm around his shoulders.
"You know," Whizzer said casually, "if you’d just called me in the first place, we could’ve avoided this entire mess."
"Not the time, Whizzer," Marvin grumbled, though he didn’t pull away from the embrace.
"Aw, don’t be mad," Whizzer teased, leaning closer. "You’re cute when you’re stranded on a billboard."
Marvin groaned but couldn’t hide the faint smile creeping onto his face.
"Alright, Cordy, your turn," Charlotte said, looking up at her girlfriend.
Cordelia clutched the edge of the billboard, her face pale. "I–I don’t know if I can," she stammered. "It’s so high, and the ladder’s so... wobbly." She grimaced.
"It’s not wobbly," Charlotte reassured her. "Just take it one step at a time. I’ve got you."
Cordelia hesitated, then slowly began her descent. With every step, she muttered a new fear under her breath.
"What if I fall?"
"You won’t fall."
"What if the ladder breaks?"
"It won’t break."
"What if the possum comes back and—"
"Cordelia, focus," Charlotte said, though her tone remained patient.
After what felt like an eternity, Cordelia finally reached the ground. As soon as her feet touched solid earth, she threw her arms around Charlotte in a tight hug.
"You’re amazing," Cordelia whispered. "Thank you for saving us."
Charlotte smiled, wrapping her arms around her. "Anytime. Though maybe next time, try not to get stuck on a billboard at midnight."
Cordelia nodded fervently. "Absolutely. Never again."
Just as the group began to relax, a rustling noise came from the nearby bushes.
They all froze.
"Uh, what was that?" Whizzer asked, his cocky demeanour faltering.
Charlotte tightened her hold on Cordelia. "Probably just the wind," she said, though she didn’t sound convinced.
The rustling grew louder, and suddenly, the possum emerged from the bushes, its beady eyes glowing in the dim light.
"It’s back!" Marvin exclaimed, taking a step behind Whizzer.
"Oh my God, it’s got friends!" Cordelia shrieked, pointing as two more possums scuttled out of the shadows to join the first.
The possums stared at the group, their tiny claws scratching the ground ominously.
"Okay, I’m officially done with this night," Whizzer declared, grabbing Marvin’s arm. "Let’s go!"
"Agreed!" Charlotte said, pulling Cordelia towards the car.
The four of them bolted, sprinting across the field with the possums chittering behind them. Marvin tripped over a rock but was yanked back up by Whizzer before the possums could get too close.
Charlotte yanked the car door open and practically shoved Cordelia inside before jumping into the driver’s seat. Whizzer and Marvin scrambled into the back, slamming the door shut just as one of the possums reached the car.
"Drive! Drive!" Whizzer yelled, his voice an octave higher than usual.
Charlotte didn’t need to be told twice. She hit the gas, and the car lurched forward, leaving the possums behind in a cloud of dust.
As they drove away from the scene, the car filled with the sound of heavy breathing and nervous laughter.
"Well," Whizzer said after a moment, "that was... an experience."
"Never again," Marvin muttered, slumping against the window.
Charlotte glanced at Cordelia, who was still clutching her arm like a lifeline, making it a little hard to drive. "You okay?"
Cordelia nodded, though her wide eyes and nervous smile suggested otherwise. "I think I’m going to have nightmares about possums for the rest of my life."
Charlotte chuckled and gave her a reassuring squeeze. "At least you’ll have a good story to tell."
"Or a really bad one," Cordelia said with a weak smile.
"Either way," Whizzer chimed in from the back, "next time Marvin wants to do something ridiculous, we’re saying no."
"Agreed," Charlotte said.
Marvin groaned. "Oh, come on. It wasn’t that bad."
The other three shot him a look, and he quickly fell silent.
"Whatever..."