Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Rin was acting weird again.

Well, that wasn’t exactly fair. He always acted ‘weird’, at least by societal standards. He was rude, antisocial, and never seemed to care that his bluntness was offensive and hurtful to others. The solitude he wrapped himself in was completely self-inflicted and, as far as Nanase was concerned, intentionally manufactured. Despite the two of them being classmates, they could hardly be considered ‘friends’ by any definition of the word, and most of the time it felt more like Nanase was a ghost in Rin’s periphery, unwanted and unnoticed.

But this regular proximity in the classroom did come with the benefit of seeing how Rin behaved, and right now he was definitely behaving weird by ‘Rin standards’.

Lunchtime was when it became the most noticeable. On a normal day, Rin stayed hunched at his desk in the back corner of the classroom, eating in silence before speeding through his homework, his genius mind finishing all his assignments in record-time. Occasionally, he would get up to wander around the school grounds for whatever reason. No matter what he chose to do, an air of bitter intention surrounded every step, every breath, and every scratch of his pen. No one was allowed to approach him. So much as getting close was enough to elicit a death glare.

However today, when Nanase stepped in front of Rin’s desk, entering the forbidden personal bubble, no such glower came. 

“Howdy!” he grinned, slipping into the chair in front of Rin and pulling his lunch out of his bag. 

Rin didn’t reply. That, at least, was normal. Sometimes he would grunt or raise an eyebrow but he was never one to strike up a conversation. But today, yet again, the disgruntled huffs and disinterested glare never came. Instead, he was staring out of the window, resting his chin in his hand and looking out at the sports fields in front of the school. He seemed to be lost in thought, not paying attention to whatever was going on around him.

It had been like this for the past week, with him staring off into the distance with a softness in his expression that seemed almost out of place on his features. It was as if he had no energy to be spiteful or mean anymore. The only time he showed a bout of emotion was after school when he hurried from the classroom the moment the bell rang, instead of lingering back and going at his own pace like most other students did.

Whatever was going on with him?

“The coding club is asking for new members again,” Nanase said, hoping that perhaps this newer Rin would be more open to conversation. “We’re worried about the lack of third years.” He shovelled some rice into his mouth. “If we don’t get more newbies next year, after the second years eventually graduate there won’t be enough of us to keep going.”

Rin hummed, not looking away from the window. “I’m not joining, Bumpkin.”

“Don’t expect you to.”

“So why are you talking about it?”

In truth, Nanase wasn’t too sure. For him, joining the coding club had been a spur-of-the-moment thing, given he had no idea how to code and his family was so tech-illiterate that his parents still struggled with online banking. However, he also found pretty much every academic subject a slog, especially at this high school, which placed great value on its successful academic alumni. He had just barely gotten the grades to enter in the first place, so joining a club that had marketed itself as ‘Help us make a video game! No coding knowledge necessary!’ had seemed so much easier than the other extra-curricular activities the school offered.

“Do you think you’ll ever join a club?” he asked, swallowing an entire egg roll in one bite.

Rin shrugged. “Who knows?”

Okay, Nanase thought, he’s most definitely acting INCREDIBLY weird.

Rin usually hated it when anyone threw questions at him. Even in the past week, the best he had put up with was a bit of talking to, sometimes tossing in a jibe as a brief reply. The second he was actually expected to respond to a question, he would pull out a scathing tirade, ranging from ‘Shut up,’ to ‘Stop opening your pathetic, lukewarm mouth and wasting air around me’. 

This Rin was so… mellow? So calm?

Nanase suppressed a shudder. Who in the world had swapped bodies with Rin to make him this relaxed?

And that was when the thought hit him — what if someone else was involved? Perhaps not in a magical, body-swap sense, but more like in an ‘I can’t get them off my mind’ sense. Like a… lovestruck male lead in a teen drama!

No way, Nanase's thoughts whirled as he stared at his classmate.

It couldn't be, could it? It was so cliche. And yet, cliches did exist for a reason...

Holy shit, does Rin have a crush?

Nanase would never call himself an expert at reading body language but, in that moment, he thought back to any YouTube videos he might have watched on the subject. Yes, indeed Rin was more physically relaxed than usual, his shoulders less tense, his gaze less piercing. Following his line of sight out of the window, he did seem to be flitting his eyes between several pairs of people down on the ground below, specifically two couples Nanase knew for a fact were together, and there were rumours about the others.

If this theory were true, then it would be a mildly insane development. Itoshi Rin, the storm cloud of first year, the boy so allergic to social interaction that merely existing in his presence often left students quivering in fear, that Itoshi Rin might have a crush on someone! This could be the start of his ascension out of utter social isolation! Movies always made it out to be that way — the brooding, antisocial male lead had his heart melted by a beautiful girl and they fell in love, living happily ever after. 

A smile spread across Nanase's face. If he was right, then this was perfect! Now the question was, which pure-hearted soul could possibly be the one to melt this storm cloud's heart?

Would asking about it be weird? Probably. Being direct around Rin, especially regarding anything he wasn’t comfortable discussing, was a sure-fire way to close him off more (Nanase had found that out the hard way at the start of first year. He had tried to strike up a conversation in the first week about Rin’s brother, Itoshi Sae, and had promptly been shoved into a wall of lockers). So being subtle about finding out Rin’s crush, if he had one at all, was the only way to go.

“Well, if you do think about ever joining a club,” Nanase said, “I think it would be good for you.”

Rin didn’t look at him. “Whatever.”

-—-

The computer lab was Hiori’s freedom at the end of the school day. Unlike at home, where his math textbooks littered every flat surface in his bedroom, or the classroom, where the pressure to answer every question correctly weighed down on his soul, here he could do whatever he wanted and no one would care… well, he could do anything except perhaps fill his stomach. The giant ‘NO FOOD OR DRINK’ sign on the door forced him to comply, not that he ate much to begin with. 

He was always the first to arrive here after classes ended. It tended to take the others a while to get through saying goodbye to their friends. Apart from the members of this very club, his only real-world friend was Karasu Tabito, a third year. That crow was reinforcing their friendship (and being a good senpai) by sneakily signing Hiori’s attendance on the mathematics club’s register every day. It was lucky; if Hiori’s parents ever found out he was running away from math to do game development, they would throw a fit and quite literally get divorced on the spot.

He was already booting up a coding window on his favourite computer when the others started trickling in.

“First again?” Isagi hummed, slipping through the door and dumping his school bag on one of the room’s many unused, spinning office chairs. “You make me look like a slacker."

“Guess I’m just more dedicated to our game,” Hiori replied sarcastically. “Ya beat Mister Ego here. It’s not like yer late or anythin’.”

“I know, I know,” Isagi smiled. “I swear I’ll beat you here one day.”

“When Bachira stops beggin’ ya to join him in the dance studio instead of comin’ here?”

“Hey I’ve never actually gone with him—“

“Howdy guys!” Nanase’s voice interrupted the conversation.

The first-year homerooms were on the opposite side of the school, so the club’s two youngest members usually took the longest to arrive... usually. Today, they had managed to turn up quicker than their final member. As well as Nanase Nijiro, Kurona Ranze filed in through the half-open door, himself being as blank-faced as ever meanwhile Nanase brought a much-needed liveliness to this otherwise introverted group.

And of course the princess himself, Chigiri Hyouma, was the last to slip in. For the fastest second-year student (according to PE lesson track running records), he sure knew how to take his sweet time touching up his hair in the bathroom. He was often at least five minutes late, not that it really mattered. He only ever came here to talk to Isagi and Hiori anyway, having basically no interest in video games as a medium. 

With the arrival of the pink-haired princess, the entire club had shown up. There wasn’t a third year in sight. Karasu had shown some vague interest the year before but he had ultimately kept going with the mathematics club, taking over as its head student. And so, if no one joined the coding club soon, it would be finished. While it was small, it was nevertheless fun. At least, it provided a much needed respite for Hiori from the gruelling demands of STEM and the constant pressure at home, not to mention the quiet was a pleasant break from hearing his parents’ arguments in the next room over. If this moment of solace died before he went into third year, it would be like snuffing out a candle in a blizzard. All the club needed was one new attendee to prove they were legitimate, not just a glorified group hangout with school funding and a designated classroom.

The five were settling down at their desks, booting up their computers, when their teacher finally let himself in. A tall, lanky man with bags under his eyes and a smart, black suit trudged inside, clutching a disposable coffee cup without a care for the sign on the door forbidding its consumption.

”Hello, young diamonds in the rough,” Mister Ego drawled, taking a seat at the front of the lab, hunching over a small desk. “You all already know what you’re doing.”

Everyone nodded. No one said a word.

“Good,” he droned. “If you have any questions, figure the answers out for yourselves.”

Mister Ego, for as callous as he appeared on the surface, was actually a very good teacher. He let the club do whatever they wanted as long as it led to more curiosity for coding. For Hiori in particular though, there was an additional layer to his help — Mister Ego was almost certainly aware of the trick Hiori and Karasu were pulling with the forged signatures in the mathematics club. Despite being aware of it, he kept his mouth shut. The mathematics club’s teacher, Miss Teieri, likely did the same. It was a relief knowing that at the very least, these two teachers were risking their jobs to give Hiori a break from math, although Hiori suspected it was an act of defiance against principal Buratsuta that kept them silent. This wasn’t a show of genuine kindness.

But the details didn’t matter. Whatever the reason might be, as long as they didn’t talk, then the ruse could keep up.

For a short while, the club mulled over which effects they wanted their in-game character to use when attacking an enemy. This, however, was a short-lived discussion, and general conversation was far too enticing to withhold for long. Topic changes like this usually ended up happening here, after all the club wasn't part of a professional game development studio. Everyone here was just a high schooler at the end of the day.

“I tried recruiting Rin again,” Nanase sighed, slumping back in his chair and spinning from side to side. 

“And I take it that went as well as all the other times you’ve tried?” asked Isagi. 

Nanase hung his head in defeat. “It was worth another shot.”

“Just face it,” said Chigiri, “the guy is too up his own ass to do anything except look edgy and contemplate murder.”

“Jeez,” groaned Nanase, “isn’t that a bit much?”

“Well he’s not actually gonna do it,” Chigiri rolled his eyes. “The point still stands. He’s never joining any club, especially not this one, so give up on him already.”

Hiori had heard about Rin. He was Nanase’s friendless classmate who apparently spent his lunchtimes sitting alone at the back of his classroom, glaring at anyone who tried to talk to him. There were also rumours about him getting into physical fights with his upper-classmen for seemingly no reason. He was, by all accounts, a lost cause, and the only reason he was even still here was because he was bright enough to keep getting good grades.

Hiori could to an extent, admittedly, relate to a similar isolation. Throughout all of his own first year, he had spent many lunchtimes alone in his classroom, and even now they tended to begin this way too. Although these days, even when he was alone, he was usually texting an online gaming group he was a part of, so technically he was still being social in a virtual sense. And nowadays, ever since second year had started, Isagi, Chigiri, and Isagi’s best friend Bachira, would eventually come find him and convince him to join them for lunch. He was awful at glaring at them until they went away, so he always ended up going with them in the end. He was many things but as of this academic year, friendless was no longer one of them. Rin was beating him in that regard… if friendlessness could even be considered a competition. 

“I just thought I could get through to him today, y’know?” Nanase admitted. “He’s been acting strangely all week so I presumed I’d maybe have a chance.”

Kurona frowned. “Acting strangely? How so? How so?”

“I don’t really know how to explain it,” Nanase frowned. “It’s like he’s less angry about everything. More unresponsive. And he hasn’t told me to fuck off since last Thursday.”

“Huh…”  Isagi tilted his head and crossed his arms. “I wonder what’s gotten into him?”

Nanase shrugged. “I do have an idea, but no clue if I’m right.”

“What is it?” Chigiri leaned in curiously.

Nanase didn’t respond immediately. He crossed his own arms, his brow furrowing. “I think,” he eventually said slowly, “Rin likes someone.”

Silence permeated the room. The low whirs of the computer fans and occasional squeaks of the chairs were the only noises punctuating the quiet. Everyone looked at each other. Faces ranged from confused to unconvinced.

“You’re not serious, are you?” asked Chigiri.

“Is that even possible?” puzzled Isagi. 

Hiori wasn't the type to judge someone he didn’t know, but from what he had heard about Rin, this did seem rather odd. “Why d’ya think that?”

“Well he’s had this… dreamy? Softer? Undisturbed look about him for a while,” Nanase explained, “and he’s been borderline nice to everyone lately, too. As in, I can talk to him and he actually replies. It’s obvious he isn’t really paying attention, but before this he would just tell me to fuck off. Now he actually puts up with me for a bit, or he just ignores me.”

“I still think you’re presuming way too much,” said Chigiri. “I mean, the guy’s a grade-A asshole.”

“And he’s never been interested in girls,” Kurona pointed out. “He’s just as mean to them as he is to us guys, guys. My classmate came back crying after she tried confessing to him and he told her she was a waste of oxygen. I heard he even threw away her love note.”

“Ya never know,” said Hiori, “he could just be into guys, right?”

“I honestly can’t imagine him being into anyone,” said Isagi. 

Nanase huffed. “Well, I have a hunch and I’m gonna get to the bottom of it. You nay-sayers can joke all you want. I’ll figure out who it is—”

“Doesn’t sound like you lot are doing much game design,” Mister Ego’s chastising voice suddenly split the conversation. “Back to work. You can take your gossip out of the lab.”

That was enough of a warning to get them back to business.

Among the group Hiori was the best at coding, so he did the bulk of the heavy-lifting when it came to making the game itself. Isagi knew a bit of coding and helped out on smaller details, and Kurona was learning, although he was more in charge of making assets. Nanase mostly helped out with the less development-centric parts of game design — things like story, characters, setting, music and overall aesthetics. And, of course, Chigiri was just here for the chatter. 

It was a fun dynamic, not sticking to the rigid senpai-kohai rituals that other clubs enforced so harshly. This way of doing things was so much nicer, relaxing into the undemanding atmosphere for an hour at the end of the school day. Without this, his only outlet would have been video games. Despite having a gaming group, his online friends had never been the calmest, so he barely ever talked about his real life with them. This club, in comparison, was his truest escape.

-—-

Imp: We playing today?

Imp: I’m bored

Madoka: We’re still in school

Madoka: Give it a few hours

Imp: Hurry up and finishhhhhhhhhh

Sei: Imagine being homeschooled

Sei: Actually that would be nice

Sei: I could sleep in

Snow: I can be on at 9:30pm if that works for you?

Snow: Got cram school until 9 today rip

Imp: THAT’S SO LATE

Snow: Earliest I can do I’m afraid

Imp: Fiiiiiiine :(

Owl: DBD again?

Snow: Hi Owl!

Snow: Yeah that works for me

Madoka: Sounds good

Sei: Sure

Imp: Yep!!!

Snow: I’ve got a new build I wanna try so I’ll be killer again

Sei: Don’t tell me it’s that Blood Warden build with Blight

Sei: Just hook me

Sei: I won’t try to run

Sei: Too much hassle

Snow: That’s no fun >:(

Snow: At least try to put up a fight

Owl: He's too lazy to appreciate a good killer

Snow: See Owl knows what’s up

Snow: You aren't getting away from me tonight

Owl: Come at me

Imp: Here we go again 

Owl: Stfu

Snow: You're all dead. The hook is waiting

Madoka: I’d rather not be rammed onto your hook if you’re planning to stick it in Owl

Snow: Oh my god

Owl: Kill Madoka a hundred times over

Chapter Text

Playing video games was Rin’s most convenient relief. Bloody, horrific video games with graphic violence, gore and death at every turn. It was only these that could satisfy the destruction in his heart. No matter how shit his day was, no matter how much everyone in his life didn’t understand him, he could come home, slip on his headphones and get lost in a virtual world of chaos.

This violence had once been a solitary indulgence, playing horror games late into the night with only his own nerves to keep him company. However recently, within the past couple of months, he had somehow ended up as part of a small but nevertheless dedicated gaming group, all centring around one particular guy — Snow.

It had been a chance meeting. He had first run into Snow in a Dead by Daylight lobby. Since Snow mained killer, he had been the one tracking Rin down to slash him to pieces, shutting down almost all avenues of escape… and never before had such a thrill coursed through Rin’s veins while playing DBD. These days, the game was nothing more than a meme, the ‘Fortnite of horror’, and the playerbase had grown stale, the killers not being aggressive enough and the other survivors being too incompetent to work with. So many lobbies devolved into joking around, conversing, and arguing, with very few players making any effort to win.

But this Snow guy had been ruthless — a sadistic, stone-faced killer, making life hell at every turn.

It had been perfect.

And, surprisingly, Snow had sent him a DM after the session.

Snow: Hi there! It’s Snow, the Blight you just played against

Snow: GG, that was probably the most fun I’ve had here in ages

Snow: You were a beast to deal with 

Snow: Would you ever wanna play together again?

Only in that moment had playing with Snow again become an option. With the surprise of receiving a message like this at all, it had taken Rin a few hours to respond. He had no care for making friends with an online stranger, even if the guy was a competent player.

But that was just it, right? This ‘Snow’ person had been the most difficult killer Rin had ever faced off against. Having the ability to play against him again was sure to reap more benefits then hindrances.

Well… one thing had led to another and now the DBD gaming party consisted of three other individuals, far more than just Snow.

Of course, Rin didn’t care at all for the newcomers, but Snow had been playing with them for a while and they made it easier to run games without the threat of teaming with incompetent randoms. Firstly there was Sei, a rather lazy but ultimately very skilled player who liked to take his time on the generators while the rest of the team distracted the killer. Then, there was Madoka, who tended to keep a lookout for the killer, using exclusively in-game chat and texting to communicate (apparently they didn’t own a mic and their headset mic was broken). Finally there was Madoka’s online friend, Imp, who was actually French but had moved to Japan a year prior. He was the survivors’ unpredictable joker card, making strange plays that only made sense to himself.

Rin’s own play style was one of ultimate destruction. Whether it was completing the generators, juking the killer, or opening the exit gates, nothing was more pleasurable than making the killer’s life hell. Winning a round came secondary to hearing Snow curse down his mic in frustration, goading Snow to focus on him, luring him in, and then ruining any strategies that might earn a killer’s win. 

Despite the irritation, Snow didn’t seem to mind playing like this at all. Sure, he did become angry when he lost but, after the game closed, he always laughed at what had transpired, thanked Rin for the fun, and organised to play again as soon as possible. It wasn’t as if he always lost. His win-streak was incredible and the survivors often ended up dead no matter what. Such defeats only fed the fires of Rin’s ambition to tear Snow down in the next round though, and thus their cycle of death, rebirth, and mutual dedication to their roles was endless. 

It was a strange reassurance, one that Rin was only able to find in the virtual world of his video games anymore. Most people found this destructive side of himself weird at best, scary at worst. Not even his parents liked it. Once, he had thought his brother might understand him… that, however, had been little more than wishful thinking.

But Snow did seem to like it.

Outside of DBD, the two of them often found themselves alone on call together. Sei would occasionally stick around after a session wrapped up but he was quiet and, if there was an excuse to leave, he would take it in a heartbeat. Imp was talkative when he was online but he tended to go to bed early because of his parents’ internet curfew. Madoka sat in VC but exclusively used texting to communicate. Therefore, it was usually up to Snow and Rin to carry a conversation if Imp wasn’t around and, if Rin were being honest, all the typical trademarks of ‘conversation’ landed on Snow. It was Snow who started their discussions with curious questions, Snow who made sounds of acknowledgement whenever others were speaking, and Snow who offered his own input with such a gentle, calming voice. 

Again, he didn’t seem to mind things being this way. He was happy to talk about Rin’s stranger, sick-minded interests, keeping the conversation steered in easy directions. Bloodshed, splatter films, or even just recounting the violent storylines from old tokusatsu shows Rin had watched as a child, Snow listened to it all without betraying any judgement or fear. He seemed content with letting Rin’s interests dominate their talks between long stretches of comfortable silence, engaging with topics wholeheartedly. Was it because he was also interested? Was it because he had figured out that Rin was a terrible listener? Did he simply not want to put up with Rin making zero effort to listen to him in return? Whatever it was, it didn’t matter much. Rin found Snow easier to talk to than anyone else in his life. That alone was a relief — a weird, incomprehensible relief. 

For some reason, it was soothing listening to Snow talk. His voice had a soft, lilting quality to it, one that could lull a baby to sleep, like cool water running over bare skin, dulling any pain. He had an accent too, hints of Kansai dialect coming through, especially when he was raging in-game but also when he was generally being enthusiastic. Apparently he had grown up in Kyoto his whole life, not having moved into the area like Rin’s family had when he was younger. 

The mere fact that Rin remembered this proved that for as bad of a listener as he was, Snow was some sort of exception. For someone who was meant to have just been a convenient gaming partner, he was worming his way into Rin’s brain more than Rin ever could have imagined. 

-—-

Every evening was the same. Arriving home, Rin bee-lined from the front door to his bedroom, dropped his school bag at the foot of his bed, and stripped out of his uniform into some more comfortable pyjama pants and a t-shirt. He had dinner in here by himself, swiping his food from the dining room table when he was called to eat, never staying downstairs with his parents. After finishing, he slipped into his desk chair and finished whatever homework he had left. None of the questions were difficult. He answered them without even needing to think. This was simply the way his brain worked. Sae’s mind was like this too.

I’ll be better than you, Nii-chan, he thought. I’ll be better without that stupid university. Without a stupid degree. Without your disgusting fucking expectations!

He booted up his PC the moment he messily scrawled the last line of an English essay. It was just after nine-thirty in the evening — perfect timing. Unsurprisingly, when he opened Discord he wasn’t the first person waiting in VC.

Snow’s voice crackled through his headphones as soon as he connected. “Hi Owl.” He sounded tired. Despite his post-cram school sluggishness, the gentleness never faded. There was no tension. No underlying caution, not like how so many other people sounded whenever they spoke to Rin. 

“It’s already nine-thirty,” Rin grumbled. “Where are the others?”

“Sei said he’d be a bit late,” Snow chuckled. “Same old. Somethin’ about an awards ceremony.”

“Private school bullshit,” Rin rolled his eyes. “And the other two?”

“Madoka’s grabbin’ dinner and Imp will be here in a minute.”

These moments alone together with Snow were so different from when the others were around. With the rest of the group, there was always an atmosphere that everyone was a try-hard, and if Imp was involved then the call usually devolved into chaotic rambling. But with just Snow here, there were allowed to be long stretches of silence breaking apart interesting discussions about horror. Snow was fine with quietness and the dips in conversation melded into their back and forth, natural and welcome.

He held no expectation that Rin needed to be normal, only that Rin became the most aggravating, difficult survivor to deal with in all of DBD. That was another thing that was so refreshing about Snow — he seemed to love the fact that Rin was an unpredictable nuisance of a survivor. Most killers eventually gave up on going after him because he took the game too seriously, keeping them on their toes. They would instead target the rest of the survivors, making easy work of them, before cornering Rin and going at him out of necessity. Snow never did any such thing. He took the game as seriously as Rin did. No matter how tough a fight Rin put up, Snow always locked in, chasing him, downing him, treating their back and forth as if it really were a matter of life and death. 

“I can’t stay too long tonight,” Snow sighed through the headphones. “Mom wants me up early tomorrow to go over differential geometry before school.”

“Gross,” Rin grumbled. How dare Snow’s mother make their time together shorter. It wasn’t fair.

“Guess I’ll just hafta kill ya super fast tonight to make up for it,” said Snow.

“Like that’s gonna happen.”

“I’ll give ya extra special treatment.”

“As if you could down me with a new build in under thirty seconds.”

“I’ll hold ya to it.”

Ghosts of fiery excitement flickered at the corners of Rin’s mind. It was strange; only playing horror games with Snow had this effect. The world had been so grey ever since the previous winter, when Sae had up and left, returning to the university he had gotten into at only sixteen years old (being the genius he was). He hadn’t come back since. Why would he? He had abandoned this family — abandoned Rin. For a long time, nothing in Rin’s life had mattered. The hole Sae had cut into him was deep, bottomless even. With autumn settling in, it wouldn’t be long before winter rolled around once again, and snow would fall across his bedroom window, reminding him of that awful night. That horrible fight.

But for some reason, Snow’s voice, his laugh, and his sadistic remarks were like a glimmer of light in the midwinter darkness. He may have borne a name with the potential to remind Rin of that terrible winter night, but everything about the way he spoke, behaved, and treated Rin brought an opposite comfort. It was getting to a point where Rin’s thoughts would drift to Snow throughout the day, when both of them were offline. 

It’s so lukewarm, Rin scowled to himself.

He thought about Snow during class, while walking home, while eating dinner, at pretty much every hour of the day. It was getting ridiculous! He still had no idea what Snow looked like, what school he went to, or even his real name. Outside of video games, the few times when his parents’ arguing was audible through his mic, and the incredibly sparse conversations about how he wished his parents dead, his life was a complete mystery. Being so grossly enamoured by his mere existence was incredibly pathetic. Half-baked.

But on the other hand, reality could fuck off. There was simply something enchanting about Snow in the digital space. His kindness. His paradoxical sadism that pushed Rin to his limits and beyond but still always provided a perfect reward. Snow was a mental safety net — the person who Rin could be alone with on call and it felt natural. So what if they didn’t know each other in real life? Perhaps it was for the best that they didn’t?

He’d hate me like anyone else if he really knew me, Rin thought. Of course, that wouldn’t have mattered. It shouldn’t have mattered. So what if he’d hate me…? For some reason, his chest tightened at that notion. So what…?

Before his mind could continue down that road any longer, a new crackly, static voice suddenly sounded. “Bonjour everyone!” Imp barrelled into the voice call with his usual cheer, his French accent still thick but his Japanese was getting more recognisable by the day. 

“Hi,” Snow returned the greeting with half the fanfare but still most of the enthusiasm.

Rin grimaced. We could have been alone together for longer.

It didn’t take long for the other two to arrive. Sei had left his awards ceremony early and gone home, and Madoka showed up as silently as ever with a message in the VC texting channel. After that, the evening proceeded as normal, with the five of them playing several rounds of DBD late into the night. As Rin and Snow continued their usual dance of trying to get the best of each other in the game, a comforting warmth bloomed, overpowering the moment of tight dread from earlier.

Maybe it would be possible to meet Snow in real life one day? Maybe, just maybe, Snow would be the one person who wouldn’t grow to hate Rin? It was unlikely to ever happen, but the thought lingered even after the group finished up and said their goodbyes for the night. 

-—-

Nanase’s brow creased. He scratched another name out of his notebook and sat back in his chair. Around him, class had just broken for lunch. Rin had stepped out, wandering off, shooting a sizeable number of death glares at some other first-year students on his way through the door. He did this sometimes, leaving the classroom without his bag or lunchbox. Where he went was a complete mystery.

“Not Miyuki,” Nanase mumbled, eyeing a girl with a bob-cut as she walked past the classroom’s corridor-window towards the canteen.

She had just made the mistake of asking Rin if he would like to join her and her friends for lunch. In typical Rin fashion, she had been promptly told to piss off. It was still surprising that some girls tried being nice to him. Did they all just have ‘I can fix him’ saviour complexes? Not that it mattered much. Miyuki’s face as she passed by the window was cold. Upset. She probably wouldn’t ever be interested in Rin again. This was how things always went. A girl was nice to Rin, he was awful to her in return, and then she closed her heart off to him forever. His reputation preceded him. If he did have a crush, would she even like him back after he had been so horrible to everyone?

Whatever the case, Nanase wasn’t far enough into his snooping to contemplate that possibility. He was still stuck on square one. Since the start of the day, he had written down a name list of all the girls in his year, and he was now systematically ruling out the ones who Rin couldn’t possibly be interested in. If Rin showed even a hint of leniency towards any of them, it would be cause to investigate. But so far, Rin had only shown disdain for every single girl here, glowering at them, recoiling from them when they approached too close, even refusing to pick up Hachiko’s pencil when it had dropped on the floor and rolled over to his desk. 

Indeed, this was going to be much harder to figure out than just fumbling around in the dark and guessing.

Nanase didn’t know why it was such a big deal to him that he figured out who, if anyone, Rin was crushing on. The way he rationalised it to himself was that he wanted to help. He had been sitting in this class with Rin for months, and it was clear that Rin was as socially capable as a fish in a desert. But if he got a girlfriend, then there was a chance that he could one day open up more. So many movies and dramas had this plot — a soft, kind girl melted the heart of the antisocial bad boy and they lived happily ever after.

Perhaps it was curiosity spurring Nanase on to want to see that softer side of Rin? Maybe it was pity that his classmate was so strongly disliked by everyone around him? If he could help Rin by setting him up with his special someone, it would be time well spent, right? 

He wouldn’t give up on Rin. That was something he was sure of.

“What are you doing?” 

A half-familiar voice suddenly broke Nanase’s train of thought. He whipped his head around to see a head of fluffy, black hair looking over his shoulder. 

Niko Ikki — a fellow first-year from the next class over — tilted his head, having clearly been reading the scribbles in the notebook. In his arms he was carrying a box of textbooks usually kept on the back shelf of this classroom. He must have come here to collect them for his own class’s afternoon lessons. 

“Creeping on your classmates?” he asked. “I didn’t take you for the type.”

Nanase’s face immediately reddened. “Not at all!” he stammered. “This is something totally different!”

“Uh huh…” Niko didn’t sound convinced.

“I swear, it’s for Rin, not me!”

“For Rin? So he’s a creep now too on top of being an asshole?”

“No!” Nanase’s cheeks burned more by the second. “No, it’s— okay it’s hard to explain but believe me when I say it’s for Rin’s own good.”

For some reason at the sound of that, Niko’s lips pursed, his interest somehow sparked. He pulled the chair in front of Nanase’s desk back and sat down on it, shoving the box of textbooks onto the empty desktop behind him. “Elaborate.”

There wasn’t much use in trying to hide anything. The coding club already knew about Nanase’s plan. As long as Rin himself didn’t hear anything, it should be fine. Besides, Nanase was at a loss of what to do, so perhaps talking to someone as smart as Niko would help with brainstorming?

“Okay,” he said, lowering his voice. “I think… I think Rin might like someone. As in, a crush. If he does, I really want to help him have a chance with whoever it is.”

Niko hummed. “Alright…”

“You’ve seen him,” Nanase lamented. “He can’t even say hello before he starts insulting your hair or your voice or whatever. He’ll never stand a chance with whichever girl he likes.”

Niko crossed his arms, leaning on the back of his chair. “So,” he said, "you’re trying to figure out who he likes so you can be his wingman?”

“I guess that’s one way of putting it.”

“And you haven’t just asked him?”

Nanase shuddered. “I don’t wanna die. He’d definitely kill me if I took a direct approach. I know subtlety isn’t normally my thing, but I wanna try it just this once. I’ll be his cupid!”

A short silence descended. Niko tapped his fingers against his crossed arms. From the concentrated stillness he exuded, it was clear that somewhere in his head, gears were turning, making logical sense of Nanase’s ideas.

After what felt like forever, he sighed, stood up and picked up the box of textbooks. “Well, if I see anything that might be useful for you, I’ll let you know.”

Nanase’s eyes widened. “For real?”

“Yeah. Actually, I already have a… suspicion of who Rin’s crush might be.”

Now that was unexpected. More than unexpected, it was a downright revelation! A complete and utter miracle! It was strange that Niko of all people had even a vague ‘suspicion’ of who Rin could be into, considering he was quite a loner himself (he had been bullied up until quite recently, but had managed to assert himself alongside some other boys from his class) and he didn’t know Rin at all. On the other hand though, he was one of the smartest guys in the whole year group, so if anyone could be trusted here, it was him.

“Who is it?!” Nanase lunged forwards, leaning all the way over his desk. He had to know. “Who do you think it is?”

But Niko just shrugged. “I’m not certain yet, so I’ll keep my mouth shut. Give me some time to gather data. I’ll get back to you.”

“Please tell me!” Nanase begged.

“I don’t know if it would be of much use.”

“Just a name!”

“All I’ll say,” Niko headed towards the classroom door, “is that if I’m correct, they aren’t in our year.” He stepped out of the classroom, leaving Nanase staring at the door.

It might not have been much but it was a start. There was now a brainiac on Nanase’s side, someone far better at figuring things out. A smile spread across his face. He would be able to help Rin out soon enough.

Shortly before classes started again, Rin walked back into the room and plonked himself back down at his desk. He took out a neatly packed lunchbox and ate while scrolling on his phone. The entire time, Nanase eyed him for any signs of unusual behaviour. All he noticed was that at one point Rin opened an app, typed a message, and there was the smallest hint of a smile on his lips. 

Not a first-year, Nanase thought. If Niko was right, this was about to get a whole lot more interesting.

Chapter Text

Owl and Snow, or rather, Itoshi Rin and Hiori Yo, really were none the wiser. For Niko Ikki, it was as if he had a front-row seat to an exclusive, slow-burn drama.

Both boys had no idea they attended the same high school, nor did they realise that Niko was aware of who they were. The predicament was amusing to oversee from behind a computer screen and even more interesting to analyse. Playing DBD together almost every night, fascinating differences in their behaviour sprang up all the time, little quirks that would never come out in real life. There was, in a way, a privilege that came with seeing Hiori and Rin behave so differently than how they did at school. The internet kept them hidden, the veil of digital anonymity shrouding their real-world selves from view…

Or perhaps, instead, it revealed aspects of themselves that the real world was never privy to.

Since Niko lacked a working mic, he only used texting and in-game messaging to communicate, so even though he and Rin were in the same year, Rin had no clue that they spent their days a mere classroom apart. Admittedly, it had taken a while to realise that Hiori also attended the same school as both of them. Being a second-year student, Hiori had never hung out with Niko and the two of them had never spoken to each other face to face. However, Niko had eventually been able to figure out who his long-time gaming buddy ‘Snow’ really was because Hiori’s third-year friend, Karasu, covered for him in the mathematics club. Hiori would occasionally stop by the club room to slip study notes into Karasu’s hands, and his voice was familiar enough to recognise. The softness mixed with a thick Kansai accent was unmistakeable.

Indeed, the predicament was rather unexpected, but it granted Niko a unique window into the lives of his peers. With Nanase’s suggestion that Rin might be crushing on someone, things became a whole lot more intriguing. For a while now, a suspicion had knocked around in Niko’s head that Owl was crushing on Snow. Therefore, unknowingly, Rin had a crush on his upperclassman Hiori. And Hiori was always one to reciprocate the questionable advances Rin made. Were the feelings mutual? Or were both boys perhaps just weirdos? 

Until now, Niko’s suspicions about the nature of these ‘feelings’ had been just that — a guess. Without the benefit of facial expressions, body language or in-person interaction, making a concrete call was tricky. However, it wasn’t impossible. This was where Niko paying close attention to the gaming sessions was paramount. He would indulge in this little game of detective, if just for a short while, and see if Nanase’s hunch was indeed correct. He would determine all the relevant information from his ‘watchtower’ position, piecing together whatever this situation was.

Tonight was a gaming night like any other. As usual, the group was playing DBD with Hiori as their killer. Once again, just like on most other nights, he was zoning in on Rin while the rest of the group ran around the map completing generators, getting ignored until Rin was downed.

This was the way Hiori preferred to play. He singled Rin out, downed him as fast as he could, then made quick work of the rest of the group as if they were easy pickings. Rin was by far the best at playing survivor out of everyone and he had a knack for making Hiori target him as much as possible.

The stage was set. Niko just had to observe.

“Found ya!” Hiori cheered boastfully as his killer stunned Rin’s survivor. 

“Just you try to kill me,” Rin hissed. “Do it now.”

“Yer so impatient. I wanna savour this a bit longer.”

“Ultra-sadist.”

“Speak for yerself, sado-masochist.”

Their banter had contained a flirtatious edge for a while. At the very least, hearing Rin say these sorts of things felt downright wrong considering the way he behaved in real life. It was as if, somehow, Hiori activated a sleeper agent within him, drawing out a side that revelled in self-destruction more than just hurting others. And Hiori seemed to enjoy it. He took Rin’s bait on purpose and ran with it.

Niko listened. He listened and checked for anything to prove Nanase’s crush theory. He heard Rin mumble curses as his character was lifted onto a meat hook to hang uselessly, a timer slowly counting down towards his death. Hiori lingered next to him, watching, barely ever moving away.

“Camper,” Rin grumbled. “Go kill Sei or something.”

“Hey,” Sei’s voice drawled, “that’s unfair.”

Imp chuckled. “I’m on my way to save you, Owl! One second.”

“Ya won’t make it,” Hiori mused. “Ya can always try though. No one touches Owl except for me.”

Niko immediately noticed the slight stammer in Rin’s next words. 

“That obsessed with me?” Rin asked, his voice also the tiniest bit higher-pitched. “Lukewarm.”

“Yer just my number one concern,” Hiori replied. “Keep strugglin’ and maybe I’ll take pity on ya.”

“No, you won’t.”

“Yer right, I won’t.”

They were flirting. Whether either of them realised it or not, their voices kept drifting away from focussed neutrality into a more enthusiastic register, which sounded odd coming from Hiori and even weirder coming from Rin. The level of awareness they had was unclear. On the one hand, they could be purposely dancing around each other in an aggravating game of will-they-won’t-they. On the other hand, they could just be dense idiots. Unfortunately, Niko didn’t know either of them well enough to make a final judgement.

Which, of course, meant this was as far as his ‘watchtower’ observations could go. Nanase’s own expertise would be a necessary ingredient from now on, since he was far more familiar with both Hiori and Rin in real life. It all came down to how much of Hiori and Rin’s online personas were their genuine selves. Figuring that out would be the key to deciphering the reality of Rin’s feelings towards Hiori, as well as Hiori’s feelings towards Rin.

Niko would continue gathering data for the next few days. When he had enough, he would catch Nanase up on his findings.

So far, the feelings seem pretty mutual to me, he couldn’t help but think.

-—-

Hiori wanted to slam his controller onto his desk. He wanted to, but that would only lead to damaged tech. It was a struggle not to break something though. Downstairs, the echoes of his parents’ arguing reverberated through the floor, stinging his ears with toxic background noise that only his headphones could drown out. 

It had been bearable for the past few hours. The gaming group had gone through their usual routine, playing DBD all evening. Now though, Imp had needed to leave for bed and Madoka had typed something about having to do some extra homework. With those two gone, Sei had used the opportunity to tap out as soon as he could, probably to laze away in bed until the next morning. 

And so, Hiori only had Owl left to talk to. Following Sei’s departure, the VC descended into several moments of silence, and in no time at all the shouting and screaming in the kitchen below overtook the quiet. It was flinch-inducing. They hadn’t fought like this for a while. It made sense though — Hiori’s math grade had slipped by two percent after his last test. No wonder his mother and father were furious.

“You’re quiet,” Owl’s voice then trailed through Hiori’s headset. 

Hiori took a deep breath. At least he still had someone else here. “Yeah, sorry…” he mumbled, clicking around on his desktop for something to play, anything to distract him. “It’s Mom and Dad…”

“Bastards.”

“Ya can say that again.”

“I’m telling you, you should wring their damned necks. I’d do that if I were you.”

Hiori chuckled at that. He had once felt disgusting for wishing such violence on his own family but, at this point, their presence in his life was nothing but stifling. “Hey, Owl?” he asked. “Can we stay like this for a bit? Just until Mom and Dad shut up so I can actually try sleepin’. We can talk about whatever.”

Owl’s reply was a bastion of much-needed relief. “Sure.”

It had been the ultimate stroke of luck that Hiori had run into Owl. Even though Owl wasn’t the talkative type or even the best listener, he stuck around and seemed to agree with a lot of what Hiori had to say about his mother and father. They rarely spoke about the real world, barely ever at all, but in the sparse occasions when the topic got brought up, Owl accepted the violent ideas bouncing around inside Hiori’s head as if they were somehow normal. The way that he responded to the sadistic killing intent was so uncanny — perhaps he himself had some familiarity with such bitter feelings? It wasn’t something Hiori was going to ask about. Owl could tell him if, or when, he felt comfortable. That might be never. Hiori didn’t care.

Conversation between the two of them was usually one-sided. Owl’s attention span was tiny when it came to things he didn’t care about. And so, topics that satisfied him tended to dominate their talks. On the occasions when Hiori discussed his own interests, he tended to mention coding, various new games he had played, and sometimes the actress Toda Erika (if he was feeling nostalgic for his embarrassing ten-year-old self). Owl on the other hand kept his discussions to horror, be it games or movies. He was so passionate about it. If horror was so much as mentioned, the conversation was sure to turn into him pulling up IMDB pages for obscure, eighties slasher films, or him making scathing critiques of indie horror games with fewer than five-hundred downloads. He was vicious in his commentaries and brutal in his deep-dives, but the morbid flair was just another thing to admire about him.

Hiori loved the sadistic streak. It was relatable, intriguing and fun to listen to. He was sure that Owl only paid half the attention whenever it wasn’t his turn to speak, but that didn’t even matter. Their late-night talks alone like this, and there had been several by now, were a cradle of security that both saved Hiori from the claws of his horrible home life and consolidated the destructive coldness in his heart. 

Yes, Owl was the only one who could make him feel this way. This safe. This vindicated. 

And Hiori wasn’t stupid. Whenever his day brightened at the sound of Owl’s voice, whenever his mouth couldn’t help but curl into a smile while they chatted, and whenever he intently listened to Owl talking about his interests, these were tell-tale signs of a crush.

He had always fallen for others quickly, ever since his childhood. Toda Erika had captured his heart after just one episode of SPEC. In junior high, Karasu had set his heart on fire when they had first met at a mathematics olympiad. Then, at the start of his second year of high school, it had been Isagi making him feel truly free and alive when he had first joined the coding club. 

But just as he was quick to fall, he was also quick to reject. The dower outcomes of chasing after someone were gut-twisting. Every single day the false smiles, backhanded mutterings, and hidden arguments of his parents reminded him that pursuing love was pointless. There was no fairy tale happy ending, just a fading sense of obligation that devolved into screaming fights that never resolved themselves. It was an inevitability. No matter what, he adamantly refused to put another person through a relationship with himself, not when it would end in unhappiness and a bitter breakup… or worse, a horrible, loveless marriage with only the expectations of a child to keep them together.

He wouldn’t be like his parents. Whatever crushes blossomed in this hormone-riddled, teenage brain of his, they were dangerous even if tantalising. He buried them deep, suppressing the warm fuzziness they brought until they went away forever. He was content with long-lasting friendships, free of the deadly clutches of love.

With Owl, the cycle was once again rearing its head. He loved Owl. He really loved Owl. That was why he would never reveal his feelings. He would repress the crush until it disappeared, let the intensity come to pass, and then enjoy his friendship with his gaming companion to its fullest. Even if his heart ached to lock his love away, it was for the best.

“I hear Reanimal got a new trailer,” he said, pulling open a YouTube tab. “Quick watch party?”

Owl hummed. “Do it.”

“Ya’ll need to catch all the details for me. I always miss stuff.”

“That’s a lie and you know it.”

“Just bein’ sure,” Hiori laughed. Indeed, he did pride himself on his ability to notice little details in things.

As the creepy music of the Reanimal trailer started to play, the arguing of his parents faded into the distance once again. Immersing himself in this world of horror with Owl, just the two of them watching the unsettling video together, a tension lifted from his shoulders. He was happy like this. 

He could go on like this.

-—-

“Why are we meeting here?” asked Nanase. Was this being stealthy, or just weird?

It was Friday. Niko had stopped by Nanase’s class before morning homeroom, asking to meet behind the school building at lunchtime. The area he meant was a shady, secluded space where the sports equipment sheds stood. During the day it was scarcely in use and, during club activities, the first years responsible for handling the equipment dashed in and out as fast as they could. For a covert meeting such as this, it was perfect.

Niko leaned his back against the wall of the main school building, his arms crossed and his head bowed low. “It’s best we discuss this somewhere private,” he said. “I’ve got all the data you’ll need.”

If Nanase was the one taking this seriously, then Niko was behaving like an outright detective. The sleuthing had been his idea in the first place. Whatever he had done, surely it didn’t warrant hiding away like this? Gathering information about Rin’s crush should only mean stalking his social media, right? Niko was treating this as if it were a matter of the utmost importance. In a way, it was almost admirable.

“I won’t disclose my sources,” Niko said curtly. “I’d rather keep myself hidden. Just know that I’ve figured out, within a degree of certainty, who Rin is likely crushing on.”

Nanase inhaled a breath. “You have?”

”Yeah, and now that I’ve figured it out, I’ve hit a brick wall and can’t go on alone. I’ve done all I can.”

Impatience burned in Nanase’s mind. “Who is it?”

“A second year student called Hiori Yo. Heard of him?”

Hiori? Nanase froze.

Well, that was unexpected. More than unexpected, it was downright farfetched! How was this possible? First of all, apparently Rin was into guys. That was new information. Secondly, Rin had no idea who Hiori even was! He had never once shown an ounce of interest in joining the coding club, even though Hiori was there every single day. Hiori had also never once mentioned knowing Rin beyond whatever rumours and gossip made it into the computer room, so the mere idea that they were that aware of each other was out of the question.

“You’re joking, right?” Nanase blinked. “That’s impossible.”

“Trust me, it’s very possible,” Niko replied. “It’s also aggravatingly stupid.”

“But they’ve never even met!”

Niko shook his head. “Actually, they’ve been friends for months, they just haven’t realised yet. That’s why it’s so stupid.”

“I’m so lost…”

“It gets worse when you factor in that they’ve been crushing on each other for ages too.”

Nanase opened his mouth to speak but halted. “Hold on,” his brain was still catching up, “wait… Hiori has a crush on Rin too?”

Niko nodded. “He doesn’t know it’s Rin, but he does like him in that way. I’m almost certain.”

This was starting to get ridiculous. “Okay,” Nanase crossed his arms, “you have to tell me how you know all this. You didn’t just make it up to trick me, did you?”

Niko’s jaw tensed. His fingers tapped against his upper arm, a light wind tussling his hair. Several long moments of silence passed, punctuated only by the distant bustle of sports clubs going about their lunchtime practice. It looked as though he might not say anything else…

But then, he took a deep, shaky breath, his nose scrunching up. “You’ll believe me if I tell you?”

”Yes,” said Nanase.

”And you absolutely, definitely promise not to tell anyone, especially not Hiori and Rin themselves?”

”Promise.”

“I very much like my anonymity, so you’d better stick to it.”

“Will do,” Nanase nodded profusely. “Please, just tell me.”

“Alright…” again, Niko paused. This must have been a lot to admit to, given how much he seemed to enjoy his privacy. “I’m in an online group with both of them,” he then said stiffly. “We play Dead By Daylight together most evenings after school. I don’t have a working mic so they don’t know I’m the face behind my avatar… although I doubt either of them would recognise me in real life anyway.”

Oh…

That made a shocking amount of sense.

“And you’ve been listening to them interact for a while?”

“I’d say it started about a month ago.”

A whole month?! Nanase inched up closer. “So you’ve heard them flirting? Being all lovey-dovey?”

Niko grimaced. “As long as threatening to kill each other in-game counts as flirting, then yeah, I guess so?” He let out a shallow sigh. “Hearing it first-hand is an…experience, for sure.”

“Well, your description definitely fits Rin perfectly.”

Admittedly, Nanase hadn’t pinned Hiori as the type to be so aggressive. Thinking about it though, his friend was a standoffish person behind the polite smile and calming voice, shrouding himself in a cold veil. A vague memory hovered of one of their first proper interactions, when he had mumbled something about eating Nanase’s heart, but Nanase had always presumed he had misheard something. If this was indeed what his friend was like, however, then perhaps he really was the type to spout threats to a gaming partner in a non-serious way?

“So, what now?” Nanase pondered. “We have a lead. We know who Rin likes. You seem to think it’s mutual.”

Niko shrugged. “I’m not able to do anything. I don’t know either of them in real life the way you do. I’ve told you what I know, so now you can go on doing whatever you were trying to do earlier this week.” He pushed off the wall and walked past Nanase. “If any new developments happen in real life, let me know. I’ll probably just watch from the sidelines and tell you if anything changes in my group.” With that, he trudged away, heading back towards the school’s main entrance.

For a covert meeting that had come somewhat out of nowhere, that had been a lot of new information. Not only did Rin have a crush on a guy, a second-year guy at that, but the object of his affections was none other than Hiori Yo of all people!

A chuckle stifled itself behind Nanase’s growing grin. He had been trying to get Rin to join the coding club to no avail for ages, only for Hiori to be the coding club’s very heart and soul. How many times had he heard the same ‘fuck off, I’m not joining your dumb club’, when the boy of Rin’s dreams attended it every single day?

But if Niko was telling the truth, then it made sense that Rin held zero interest in joining. He had no idea his crush even attended the same school as him. Why would he care about what was, to him, a random, uninteresting club with members who did nothing except gossip for an hour?

And that wasn’t all the new information Nanase had learned today, which only made his smile an even more permanent fixture on his face. Hiori was, seemingly, crushing on Rin too, with no idea that Rin was his underclassman. Both of them were in the dark, showing their truest selves to each other online almost every day while walking past each other in the school corridors as complete strangers. This really was like a sappy, teenage drama!

It was too much to deal with alone anymore. The powers of Nanase’s Cupid-ing were bound to falter if he kept this matchmaking plot to himself any longer.

“Niko!” he called frantically, running to catch up with his fellow first-year. “You use Discord, right?”

Chapter Text

Madoka: Nothing new happened tonight

Madoka: Same old 

Nijiro: They’re getting nowhere!

Madoka: It’s been a week

Madoka: Imagine what I’ve been putting up with for over a month now

Nijiro: You are so much stronger than me

Madoka: You know them both irl

Madoka: If you wanna play matchmaker, why not just get Rin to join the coding club or smth?

Nijiro: I’m TRYING

Nijiro: Rin is SO stubborn

Nijiro: He insists on going home as fast as possible every day 

Madoka: Probably to get through his homework quickly

Madoka: So he can then game with us as soon as Hiori comes online

Madoka: And as a result

Nijiro: Play with Hiori for longer

Madoka: Precisely

Madoka: So what? Just tell him Hiori is in the coding club

Madoka: *Snow, he doesn’t know Hiori’s real name

Nijiro: No way

Nijiro: He’d question me on where I even learned about ‘Snow’ until I confessed

Madoka: And that puts me in the firing line too

Madoka: Damn it

Madoka: So telling him directly is off the table

Madoka: Crap

Nijiro: So should just let them continue as-is for now?

Nijiro: What if they never take things further?

Madoka: I might lose my sanity

Nijiro: …

Nijiro Wait

Nijiro: Okay

Nijiro: Hear me out

Nijiro: Maybe we’re approaching this from the wrong angle?

Madoka: Wdym?

Nijiro: What if we tried approaching things from Hiori’s end instead?

Nijiro: He’s way more friendly

Nijiro: And we’re actually sorta close

Madoka: But he’s a second-year

Nijiro: And?

Madoka: What reason would he have to interact with first-years outside of the coding club?

Madoka: ESPECIALLY Rin?

Madoka: How would we get him to interact with a first-year who isn’t in the coding club without blowing our own cover?

Madoka: I’m not risking my anonymity to tell him he already knows who Rin is

Madoka: Plus he doesn’t know who I am irl either

Nijiro: Well I can’t tell him either

Nijiro: I’d sound like a complete creep knowing abt his gaming group for no reason

Madoka: Well then we’re stuck

Nijiro: If only there was someone who was close to Hiori who knew

Nijiro: They might be able to help us

Madoka: What about the rest of the coding club?

Madoka: Isagi and Chigiri

Madoka: They’re his classmates right?

Nijiro: I doubt they even know Hiori is into guys

Nijiro: And if they do it won’t matter

Nijiro: Hiori likes to keep to himself

Nijiro: Idk anyone that close to him

Madoka: What about Karasu?

Nijiro: Who?

Madoka: Karasu Tabito. Third-year. Head of the mathematics club

Nijiro: He’s close with Hiori?

Madoka: Yeah. They go way back

Madoka: Afaik he’s basically Hiori’s best friend

Madoka: Oldest friend at the very least

Nijiro: Wait

Nijiro: You’re in the mathematics club, right?

Madoka: Yeah

Nijiro: Do you think Hiori might talk about this stuff with Karasu?

Madoka: It’s a possibility 

Nijiro: Could you try roping Karasu in with us on Monday?

Madoka: Uh, I thought you wanted to be subtle about this though?

Nijiro: I do!

Nijiro: But idrk what to do atp

Nijiro: I just want Rin to be happy

Madoka: Seems like a lot of effort for such an awful guy

Madoka: But okay ig

Madoka: If anything I’m doing this to stop Rin and Hiori from looking so idiotic in our gaming sessions

Nijiro: So you’ll talk to Karasu?

Madoka: On Monday yeah

Nijiro: Thank you!!!

Nijiro: Life saver

Madoka: We’ll need a group chat if he decides he wants to help

-—-

A scratch of the head. A click of the tongue. A scrawl of a pencil. To Karasu, these were all entryways to a person’s mind; brief, physical manifestations of their inner selves. While he himself was of very little note, mediocre at the best of times, other human beings were downright fascinating. Some were pathetic. Some were extraordinary. Most were a blend of the two. Their mentalities were what moulded their abilities, and thus it had become second nature to observe when subtle changes in their words, actions and mannerisms took place.

So, what was up with that one first-year? The one who usually got on with his work in silence? 

Niko Ikki… Karasu thought. What’s the matter?

Until now, he hadn’t paid the boy much attention during mathematics club meetings. First-years were less important than second-years, who in turn were less important than third-years. Besides, by all accounts Niko was a vigilant mathematician who could problem-solve by himself, little help required. He was calm, quiet and preferred to do things logically. But today, there must have been a change in his mentality. A slight alteration, almost unnoticeable. He wasn’t focussing on solving equations, nor was he drawing diagrams or even organising his pencil case. Instead, he would periodically glance up at the front of the classroom where Karasu was writing out solutions on a large interactive whiteboard. Those eyes, normally concealed under a thick head of hair, dug into Karasu’s back like daggers.

Something was going on.

When the club ended for the day and the rest of the members spilled out of the classroom, Niko lingered at the back of the group. When the last footsteps echoed down the hallway, he was still here, watching without a word as Karasu checked over the clean-up work the first-years had done. Was he… waiting for something?

“Niko,” Karasu drawled. “D’ya have a minute?”

Niko adjusted his stance. He didn’t emote at all but he did nod his head. It was just the two of them left. A more personal discussion would probably be for the best.

Karasu leaned on one of the desks. “Somethin’ the matter?” he asked. “Ya were completely distracted today. Were the questions too difficult?”

Niko shook his head. “No, I just had something on my mind. Sorry I wasn’t on top form.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“It’s actually a question I wanted to ask you.”

Karasu’s brow furrowed. “Fire away.” Since when were first-years interested in what third-years got up to? Was this about university applications?

”I was just wondering,” said Niko, “if maybe you’d know a second-year student called Hiori Yo?”

Hiori? Karasu wondered. “Yeah, I do.”

“Are the two of you close?”

“I’d say so.”

They were more than just ‘close’. The two of them were in fact very familiar, going all the way back to their middle school days doing math olympiads for their academy. They had kept in touch ever since, attending the same cram school most evenings and keeping up a consistent, friendly rapport in-person and via texting. There were secrets Hiori had told Karasu and no one else. His sexuality, his list of abysmal crushes, his violent hatred for his parents. What he didn’t say out loud, Karasu deduced with ease.

“What does this have to do with Hiori?”

“Nothing much for me. My friend in first-year just suspects he might like someone, but doesn’t know how to bring it up. He thought you might be able to get some info to prove the hunch?”

Aah…

So, Hiori’s current crush was getting that obvious? Even unsuspecting bystanders were catching on. How Niko and his friend knew about it was a mystery, but then again there was plenty of stuff Hiori never talked about, so befriending some first-years might have been among the things Karasu had missed. There were a couple of first-years in the coding club. Perhaps that had something to do with it?

The crush in question was a member of Hiori’s online gaming group. The signs had been there, even before he had owned up to it on the way to cram school one evening. Whenever he spoke about his gamer friend ‘Owl’, there was a lightness in his tone that never appeared when he brought up anyone else. For whatever reason, Owl was special, a spark of something chaotic in a life of rigidity and rules.

But he would never take kindly to people snooping around in his business. He dealt with it enough at home from his parents. He didn’t need random first-years at his school getting involved. If anything, that would only make him retreat further away from what they were investigating. Niko and his friend were overstepping.

“Whatever yer friend wants, I ain’t gonna play spy for ‘em,” Karasu said sternly. “If their hunch is correct, then things’ll develop naturally. Yer involvement ain’t necessary.” He expected a reaction of surprise, perhaps even guilt or regret.

However instead, Niko just let out a shallow sigh and slumped his shoulders. “Well, can’t say I disagree with that,” he said. “My friend is a good guy. He has a lot of heart. But he has such a hang-up about playing Cupid. I’m with you, this sort of relationship should develop naturally… Although,” he paused, “something in me feels that if we leave Hiori be, nothing will ever develop at all.”

He was an intuitive guy. Hiori scarcely acted on his desires and had never once acted on his romantic attraction, instead letting it eat away at him until it had consumed all the love he had to give, mellowing those romantic feelings into platonic acceptance. It was a cycle Karasu was all too familiar with, since he himself had once been the very ‘crush’ Hiori had suppressed. A confession had never been uttered out loud, but the feelings had been potent and obvious, just like they were now with Owl. Karasu sometimes wanted to laugh at the frustration of it all. Back in middle school he would have accepted Hiori’s confession on the spot. Now though, they had known each other for so long that it would just be weird to go out with him. They truly were ‘just friends’ because of that unshakeable insistence on keeping away from any and all romance. The opportunity had come and gone. Both of them had moved on a long time ago.

So, whatever Hiori’s current crush on Owl was like, it probably wouldn’t last. The cycle was about to repeat again.

Niko headed towards the doorway. “It was good to get your opinion, thanks,” he said. “I’ll let my friend know.” He stepped out, his feet echoing down the hall until they faded into quiet.

As a rule, Karasu was never one to interfere too much with anything. Unless a situation was grave, standing back was a better option, letting individuals figure out their own problems. Involving himself in Hiori’s life, especially his love life, had always been an uncrossable boundary for both of them. But Hiori did hold himself back from trying out romantic relationships. That was a fact. A reality. 

Was that really better for him, or was it only causing him more pain?

-—-

The two boys barely spoke on their walks to cram school. It was the way Hiori preferred things. If he wanted to talk, then they did, but silence was just as acceptable, and Karasu never had anything interesting enough to talk about anyway. Nothing except mathematics, and that was off the table for obvious reasons.

However, it wasn’t as if they were silent all the time. There were occasions when they did talk. That was how Karasu ended up learning as much as he had about his friend. From the moment they headed out of school that afternoon, wandering along the sidewalk towards the train station, it seemed as though today was going to be one of those rare ‘conversing’ days.

“Owl wants to try out a new game with me,” Hiori said, looking up from his phone. “He’s so cute. He thought I’d say no to playin’ with him without the others, so he didn’t ask about it for like a week.”

Karasu chuckled. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he likes ya back.”

“Shut up. He doesn’t. Don’t go gettin’ my hopes up like that.”

“Ya never know.”

“He seriously doesn’t,” Hiori sighed. “And even if he did…”

“Ya wouldn’t go out with him.”

Hiori nodded. “I just… Ya know how I feel about all that datin’ and romance stuff.”

Karasu did. He had heard Hiori rant about his complicated feelings around romantic relationships for years. In middle school, Hiori had gone through a typical edgy phase of believing love was just ‘chemicals in the brain makin’ ya desperately wanna fuck people’. Nowadays, he just seemed more averse to the emotional attachment that came with loving another person so deeply, afraid that it would one day sour into bitter hatred. His parents had never shown him a good example of what love should look like, and now he was too averse to the concept to find out for himself. 

But it was so clear that he did have the capacity to love deeply. For as much as he hated his parents, he went along with their schemes to keep his family together. He loved his friends in the coding club, his smile having returned after sneaking away from mathematics to make a video game in the computer lab. And he certainly loved Owl in a way that he didn’t love anyone else.

“D’ya think ya’ll ever date someone?” Karasu asked.

Hiori didn’t reply immediately. Eventually, he just shrugged. “I dunno.”

“D’ya wanna?”

“I mean…” 

“That’s not a no.”

Hiori gripped his bag strap. “I would if I could,” he spat. “But I can’t… I just can’t, okay?” His brows creased, his gait speeding up.

It would be better to let this conversation fizzle out. This was one of the things Hiori didn’t talk about, keeping his personal feelings close to his chest, not letting anyone else interfere with them.

It wasn’t healthy. The words Niko had said gnawed away at Karasu’s insides. 'Nothing will ever develop at all'. Hiori did want to date. He wanted to go out with someone and fall in love and kiss and do whatever else dumb, teenage couples did. It wasn’t his parents forbidding him from dating outright, although they would certainly refuse to let him do so if they suspected he wanted to, especially with a guy. Regardless, this issue in particular was a mental block for Hiori himself, something only he could face on his own terms.

It was a mental block he needed to get over.

“It’s not like I’ll ever get to know Owl in real life anyway,” he slowed again with a mumble. “We’re just online friends. I don’t even know his real name.”

“Maybe ya should ask for it.”

“No way. We don’t pry about real world stuff. If we wanna talk about it then we do, but he’s never brought up his real life around me.”

Karasu couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. “That sounds so like ya. The two of ya really are perfect for each other.”

This time when Hiori replied, he had a light dusting of red on his cheeks. “It’s just the way we’ve always done things,” he protested. “It’s not that weird.”

“Of course, I dunno gaming etiquette like ya do,” Karasu admitted, “but still. Ya’ve told me yerself that ya like him. Whatever happens, if ya start datin’ him or not, don’t let those feelin’s get suppressed. If anythin’, it would be a disservice to Owl.”

Hiori’s eyes widened for a moment, then softened. “I guess so,” he murmured. 

This was as much as Karasu would ever do. Other people, especially his friends, should never be ordered how to behave. He would never force Hiori to confess or even become more open to the prospect of dating.

What Karasu would allow himself to do, however, was support his friend and make him feel better. Historically, whenever Hiori accepted his own feelings, he became happier. Whenever he tried to deny or suppress them, he became more depressed and irritable. As long as he was smiling, he was on the right track.

It was interesting that, right now, he wasn’t completely closed off to the prospect of dating. He wanted to deep down, that much was clear, but his mentality was preventing him from trying anything out.

Perhaps that information, at the very least, was something Niko’s matchmaker friend should be aware of?

-—-

Whatsapp Group — Mathematics Club

Karasu: Niko, DMs

Karasu: I need you for something

Niko: Okay

-—-

DMs

Karasu: I wanna talk to your friend directly

Karasu: Just to give them a heads up 

Karasu: That whatever they wanna do with Hiori and his crush won’t work 

Niko: I see

Niko: We thought you’d wanna say something like that

Niko: Well

Niko: I thought it

Niko: Do you have Discord?

Karasu: Yeah

Karasu: @CrowTabi

Niko: I’ll send you a friend request 

-—-

>Niko has added @CrowTabi to Matchmaking Shenanigans

Madoka: Okay Nanase, I got the guy

Nijiro: Oh?

Nijiro: Howdy!

CrowTabi: Nanase?

CrowTabi: As in Hiori’s friend from the coding club?

Nijiro: That’s me

CrowTabi: Okay this makes a bit more sense 

CrowTabi: Hiori has told me about you

Nijiro: Really???

Nijiro: He probably just talked about how completely clueless I am with computers, right?

CrowTabi: Nah, he thinks you’re a good guy

Madoka: Anyone with a working brain thinks that tbf

Nijiro: You guys flatter me too much 

CrowTabi: We’re getting side-tracked

CrowTabi: Listen, I get that you wanna help Hiori find love 

CrowTabi: But he’s really not in the right place for that at the moment

CrowTabi: I know who his crush is and he has told me he won’t act on it

CrowTabi: That’s just the kind of person he is

Nijiro: Woah, you know it’s Rin too?

CrowTabi: Who’s Rin?

Nijiro: My classmate

CrowTabi: Aah

CrowTabi: Sorry to break it to you but rn Hiori is actually crushing on someone he met online

CrowTabi: He hasn’t crushed on anyone at school for a while

Madoka: It’s the same guy

CrowTabi: ?

Madoka: Hiori is crushing on Owl according to you, right?

CrowTabi: Yeah

CrowTabi: How do you know that?

Madoka: Long story

Madoka: Anyway, Owl is Nanase’s classmate Itoshi Rin

Madoka: A first year

CrowTabi: Wait hold on

CrowTabi: You’re telling me Hiori’s current crush is at school and he doesn’t realise?

Nijiro: Basically

Nijiro: Rin is very obviously crushing on Hiori too and he also doesn't realise they're in the same school

Nijiro: Please, I know you think Hiori won’t act on his feelings but Rin NEEDS this

Madoka: And if I have to put up with their weird, creepy flirting ANY LONGER I might go mad

CrowTabi: I’m still confused about how you’re connected to any of this Niko

CrowTabi: But okay

CrowTabi: This is new information

CrowTabi: You’re SURE it’s mutual?

Madoka: Yes

CrowTabi: …

CrowTabi: I still don’t wanna get directly involved

CrowTabi: But

Nijiro: But???

CrowTabi: BUT… I do think it would be good for Hiori to try dating

CrowTabi: He clearly wants to and he does like Owl a lot

CrowTabi: *Rin

Nijiro: You get it!

Madoka: It’s painfully obvious that it's mutual if you hear them talk to each other

CrowTabi: If Hiori meets Rin in real life, I would want things to develop naturally

Nijiro: But they haven’t met in real life yet

Nijiro: Do we tell them?

CrowTabi: No!

CrowTabi: Just get them into a situation where they would meet

CrowTabi:  NOTHING MORE THAN THAT

CrowTabi: Surely they would recognise each other’s voices?

Nijiro: Good point

Madoka: I mean the easiest option here is clearly getting Rin to join the coding club

Nijiro: Been trying that for ages and it’s not working!

CrowTabi: Is there nothing he would enjoy in the coding club at all?

CrowTabi: Besides Hiori obviously

Madoka: Well, he only really cares about horror games

Madoka: So could you lure him in with something like that?

Nijiro: Now that you mention it

Nijiro: Hiori has been steering our game to have more of a horror angle

Nijiro: You don’t think he’s been doing that with Rin in mind, do you?

CrowTabi: Knowing him, that’s definitely a possibility

Madoka: Okay so Nanase, why not tell Rin the club is making a horror game?

Madoka: Even if Rin doesn’t join properly, he could be a beta-tester or something 

Nijiro: Niko you are a GENIUS

Madoka: Why thank you

Nijiro: Trying this first thing tomorrow

CrowTabi: Don’t come on too strong

CrowTabi: And certainly don’t mention Hiori at all

CrowTabi: You’re just nudging Rin in the right direction, not smushing the two of them together

Madoka: Of course, they aren’t dolls

Nijiro: I’ll try my very best to be subtle

Nijiro: Thank you Karasu

CrowTabi: Don’t mention it

CrowTabi: I’m probably gonna stick around for this ngl

CrowTabi: ONLY to make sure you aren’t overstepping anything

CrowTabi: Their relationship should develop naturally, not because of your meddling

Madoka: Agreed. We can nudge but we can’t directly intervene

Nijiro: You two are keeping me in line

Nijiro: I feel like this partnership will turn out great!

Nijiro: Here's to Hiori and Rin possibly one day maybe getting together!

(2 people replied with 🔥)

Chapter Text

Be subtle… Be subtle… Be subtle…

The words repeated in Nanase’s head like a mantra as he stiffly sat down in class the next morning. When Rin trudged in a few minutes later, his snarl of uninterested grumpiness was as typical as ever. It was such a negative look; the urge to blurt out ‘Your crush is in the coding club!’ momentarily danced on Nanase’s lips, but he bit his tongue and held it back.

Wait until lunchtime, he thought, shaking his head free of the need to speak. Tact was key here. One misstep would destroy the chance of this flimsy plan from working at all.

And so, as difficult as it was, he had to sit through morning classes without making a single move. English grammar went in one ear and out the other. His Japanese history teacher might as well have not been there. His eyes skimmed the words in his literature textbook without taking anything in. Instead of learning his schoolwork, his brain busied itself with concocting ideas of what he should say to Rin the second the lunch bell rang.

The wait couldn’t have been any slower, to the point that when lunchtime finally did roll around, he was out of his chair and bee-lining for the back of the classroom. 

Back here, it might as well have been a normal day. Rin was sitting alone, texting someone on his phone, a half-eaten lunchbox on his desk. Was he texting Hiori, perhaps? Was there anyone else he could text like that?

Nanase could spill the truth, letting everything out into the open, revealing that Hiori was so close by… but he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. Karasu’s text messages from the night before flashed across his mind, stern and commanding. That harshness was correct — Rin and Hiori couldn’t be forced together like dolls being made to kiss. They had to develop their relationship naturally, like a well-tended to flower rather than an over-watered one. But flowers did need some tending to, if only to coax them to grow in the best way possible. Right now, that was Nanase’s job. He was the astute gardener tending to the flower bed of Rin’s love life.

Sitting down at the empty desk in front, he received no acknowledgement. Rin carried on texting another reply with a concentrated glint in his eyes. There it was again, that mellowed out calmness that was usually so absent from his demeanour. In that case, it was most likely Hiori he was messaging. No one else could possibly draw such an expression out of him, not that Nanase knew of.

“So...” he started, still squashing down the incessant desire to let the truth slip out, “we were talking in the coding club...”

Rin grunted, not looking up from his phone.

“We’re taking our game in a new direction,” Nanase went with. “We’re gonna do something like a horror game. Scary things with like, umm, blood and death and jumpscares and all that creepy stuff.”

Niko’s information had been correct, as usual. Rin glanced up at the mere mention of horror, raising an eyebrow, then looked down again as if that moment of interest were too ‘tepid’, or whatever other insult he had stashed in his head. It wasn't much, but it was a good start. 

In that case, Nanase could continue. “I’m supposed to do a beta-test… but I’m not gonna lie, I’m kinda scared,” he laughed, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “I don’t play horror games ‘cause they make me too scared to sleep.”

“Coward,” Rin muttered.

“Hey, just ‘cause you can probably handle a bit of horror doesn’t mean the rest of us can.” Conversation was beginning, if slowly. Another good sign.

“It’s a high school coding project,” Rin grumbled. “It won’t be scary. You’re just a lukewarm scaredy-cat.”

“Well at least I’m self-aware.”

“Not a compliment.”

“Okay, if you’re so sure you can handle it, why don’t you beta-test the game and prove it?”

This time when Rin looked up, his expression was different. Strange. It was as if there were a destructive chaos burning somewhere in his eyes, but the rest of his face betrayed only a tired glower. Still, he lowered his phone. “Why would I do that?” he asked, his voice laced with bitterness.

Nanase inhaled a deep breath. He was almost there. Just a little more. A few more pushes. “Because you always put on this cool, edgy, loner facade but I’ve never seen you play any kind of horror game before.” The words were harsh and a part of him ached to be so blunt, but bluntness was Rin’s first language so perhaps it would get through to him more than ‘lukewarm’ begging? “Show me that you can handle it by beta-testing our game for us.”

Rin scowled at him, silent.

“Come on,” Nanase sighed. “It’ll just be a one-time thing. You’ll never have to come to the coding club ever again afterwards.”

The scowl dimmed somewhat. “So this isn’t another one of your annoying ploys to recruit me?”

“Of course not!” The truth would likely induce more anger… but that could stay a secret. “I mean it when I say this, you can be in and out. And how about this! If you do it, I’ll never pester you about joining the coding club ever again.” It was a bold suggestion but a necessary one. Come on, just a little more.

Rin was as still as a corpse. The silence was tense, filled with uncertainty. And then, a frown curled onto his brow, he lifted his phone again and hunched over his desk like a skulking beast. “Tomorrow,” he muttered. “Just this once.”

That was more than enough. He had said those words now. Taking them back would, in theory, be too ‘lukewarm’. By some miracle, that had been a lot less hassle than what Nanase had been expecting to deal with. If the plan held up into the next day, then everything was about to go perfectly.

Rin will actually get to meet Hiori! Nanase thought, ecstatic. He’ll realise his crush is right here with him. They’ll start talking. They’ll eventually confess and start going out and fall in love forever, all because I managed to convince Rin to come to the coding club just this once! He grinned. “Sounds good.” He then stood up and stepped back. No doubt Rin didn’t want anyone else invading his personal space, so it would be better to leave him alone while circumstances were still ideal. “I’ll take you to our club room after school tomorrow.”

He then headed back to his own desk to pick up his lunch. After a conversation like that, he had to find Niko and get the brainiac up to speed. Perhaps the two of them could find Karasu together and announce that part one of the plan had been a success? The last thing he saw as he left the classroom was Rin back on his phone, trying and failing to hide a small, soft smile as he typed yet another message. 

-—-

“And that was how I convinced him,” Nanase said proudly, putting his hands behind his head. “He’ll be here tomorrow.”

Various hums of intrigue sounded around the coding club, from Chigiri’s invested amusement to Kurona’s quieter noises of approval. While everyone else chatted, Hiori was busy typing code at his computer, only catching snippets of the conversation. The pressure was on. If this Itoshi Rin guy really was a horror junkie, then this game would need to be, at the very least, in playable condition.

“I’m almost done,” Hiori said. “Just gotta make the death screen popup and it’ll be ready… enough.”

“Rin is definitely gonna love this,” said Nanase. “Horror is what got his attention in the first place. His expectations are high but you're gonna knock this outta the park.”

That wasn't the reassurance he meant it to be. Fulfilling the expectations of a random first-year was bad enough, but Hiori had only ever heard of this guy because of how unlikeable he was. The negativity only compounded the pressure. Rin's opinions shouldn’t be so all-encompassing. When it came to this game, the only expectations Hiori was happy to meet were Owl’s. Out of everyone in the world, it was Owl who knew horror better than anyone else and gave the most honest critiques. 

As it was, the game was still very much unfinished. It was meant to have multiple levels but the club had only tidied up something vaguely resembling Level One. Hopefully the eerie atmosphere and tense mechanics would make up for the amateur flair that still coated every asset and action. 

Hiori kept typing away. Nanase seemed convinced that this one meeting between everyone would change Rin’s heart and keep him coming back to the coding club for the rest of the year. That, of course, was yet to be seen. Most likely, Rin would be in and out of the computer lab, never to return.

-—-

The next day after school, Hiori was, as usual, the first to arrive at the computer lab. He booted up is favourite PC and sat down, waiting for the others to arrive. 

This was the big day, the day when his ideas and code would be put to the test against a stranger for the first time. Admittedly, a part of him was excited about it. Sharing his games with the world was a hope he had harboured for a long time, since he hadn’t yet entered any game jams or attended a coding course. He had never given any of his coding to a stranger before. 

Still, another part of him was dreading the ordeal. If Itoshi Rin was as judgemental and cold as Nanase made him out to be, then the guy was about to give a ruthless, scathing review. His expectations were going to be high.

Hiori’s gut twisted, as did his brow. Expectations were the worst when he couldn’t envision the outcome. It wasn’t as if all expectations were bad. Karasu’s and Isagi’s were fine — easy to envision because they viewed him as a human being. His parents’ expectations, however, were nausea-inducing. He wasn’t human to them, only a tool for success to live out their squandered dreams. Likewise, Itoshi Rin would see Hiori as a game developer first, a person second. His expectations would be steeped in malice and frigidity.

Gross. 

Isagi arrived after a few minutes, as did Kurona, and Chigiri came in a short while after them, fixing his hair as he waltzed through the door. As usual, Mister Ego was late. He was probably grilling the catering staff in the canteen for not restocking the coffee pods in the staff lounge. The minutes ticked on. It was just the four boys in the room, waiting around Hiori’s computer, eyes trained to the door. 

“Where are they?” Chigiri asked after no one else showed up for ten minutes. 

“Who knows?” Isagi shrugged.

“They’re so late,” Kurona shook his head. “Rin is probably being difficult. Not good, not good.”

“Well if that’s the case, then we just hafta keep doin’ what we always do,” said Hiori, resting his chin in his hands and propping his elbows up in front of his keyboard.

But as he spoke, finally, the computer lab door creaked open at last. At this point it should have just been Mister Ego walking in with his usual steaming cup of coffee, however instead, Nanase was the one who stepped inside, leaning against the door and spreading an arm wide, a proud grin on his face.

“Welcome, Itoshi Rin, to our humble abode,” he announced.

The boy who walked through the door was beautiful. 

Hiori froze. His mind did a double-take. He had known for a while that he had a thing for guys with dark hair and serious expressions (Karasu and Isagi had taught him enough, as had that one third-year from the baseball club, Barou Shoei, during a fleeting period of enamoured admiration). This boy, Itoshi Rin, was Hiori’s physical type in every way. Everything from the way his hair swooped over his teal eyes, to his closed-off gait, to his cold demeanour. All of it made his heart do loops inside his chest.

Owl might have been his current crush, but Itoshi Rin was a specimen to behold.

Rin trudged inside, the dower look in his features betraying that he would rather be anywhere else. That tracked with the description Nanase had given, and it seemed as though whatever transpired inside this room, Rin wouldn’t be coming back tomorrow.

That’s a relief, Hiori thought. Even if the guy was attractive, his deathly personality was about to ruin his brief good graces.

“This is everyone,” Nanase explained, letting the door fall closed as he gestured to the room. “That’s Isagi, I’m sure you remember him from orientation.”

The death glare Rin threw at Isagi was evidence enough that orientation had not been a very fun experience for either of them. Isagi smiled back, clearly not harbouring the same animosity. 

“That’s Kurona from Class B,” Nanase continued, “and this is Chigiri, a second-year,” he pointed at the other two boys in turn. “And this here is our mastermind,” he said proudly, “Hiori Yo, our lead programmer and the reason why you’re here. I don’t think I’ve ever met a better coder than him.”

Hiori smiled. “He flatters me too much,” he laughed awkwardly. What else could he say after such earnest compliments? “At the very least, I hope ya find the game fun. It’s our first project so it might be a bit…” He trailed off.

From the moment he had first opened his mouth, something in the atmosphere had shifted. Changed. Condensed. Was it introductory nerves? No, it wasn’t that. Rin was staring at him. This wasn’t the cold, hostile glower he had given Isagi, nor was it the disinterested scowl he had given Kurona and Chigiri. No, this was a wide-eyed, shocked stare, boring his eyes into the depths of Hiori’s very being.

And the others must have noticed too because Nanase cocked his head. “Are you okay?” he asked. “Earth to Rin?”

And yet, no one moved. No one spoke. An awkwardness seized the air, shrivelling up the initial intrigue of meeting someone new.

Hiori cleared his throat. He clicked around in his coding window, pursing his lips. “Sooo… I guess we’ll launch the file and see how it—“

“Snow?”

His finger halted mid-click. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled.

Rin’s voice was quiet. Hushed. When he spoke again, his cadence was stilted. And yet, that voice was somehow completely, utterly familiar.  “Are you Snow?”

Hiori’s gaze rose, locking with the boy just a few steps away, a mild pain setting into his temples from how wide his eyes must have been. He blinked, swallowing. That voice. It had to be. He could never miss it anywhere, not when it was the same voice that calmed his stress and heightened his mood whenever he heard it.

“Owl?”

Rin’s breath hitched, he stepped back. “I—“ his mouth was opening but no words came out. “You…”

Emotions swirled in Hiori’s head. Confusion. Surprise. Elation. He didn’t know if he wanted to collapse in on himself and implode or rush to the other boy’s side and take in every inch of him. This was Owl, in the flesh. After months of being completely anonymous, they were suddenly together, in the same room, breathing the same air. They had been in each other’s vicinity all this time and had never known! It was both so incredible and so, so stupid that Hiori wanted to hold his head in his hands and belt out a laugh… he didn’t though, because all he could do was stare. Stare, stand, and take a tentative step towards Rin — towards Owl.

But as he took those steps, Rin took equal steps backwards. “This is—“ his breaths were ragged now, his gaze darting between Hiori and Nanase. “What the fuck is going on?”

Nanase was frowning. “Is something wrong?”

Before he could say anything else, a glare of furious anguish fell across Rin’s face. His hands clenched into fists. For a moment, it seemed as though he might try to punch someone. Nanase flinched, bracing for a lashing.

So, this was the reality of the first-year loner who was said to start physical fights with people over the most trivial of reasons? That person, the one despised by the entire school, was the boy Hiori had come to find such comfort in? How could this be? Hiori tensed, readying for an oncoming conflict, ready to see the image of Owl be shattered forever.

How did this even happen? he braced himself to slip into the role of mediator, to become the calming agent he so often had to be for his parents. What the hell is even happenin’?

But no fight came. 

Instead, Rin flashed a final, pained look towards Hiori, teal eyes glassy under his bangs, and then he turned like a fleeing beast, slammed open the computer lab door, and barrelled out, almost crashing into Mister Ego on the way.

“No running in the halls!” Mister Ego tried calling after him but it was no use. Rin was well and truly gone.

Nanase gasped. “Wait!” he too bolted for the door. “Sorry guys,” he said over his shoulder. “I’ll go get him. I’ll just talk some sense into—“

“Hold on, Nanase,” Hiori said, his mouth moving ahead of his brain. “I’ll go.”

Nanase stopped. “You’re sure?” he frowned. “But what about our game?”

“The game can wait,” it seriously could. Finding Rin was so much more important than anyone else in this room could know. “Y’all stay here.”

He hurried out of the computer lab as Mister Ego walked in. The others could explain whatever they wanted to him. That was their problem to deal with. Right now, Hiori needed Rin. He needed Owl. All of a sudden, the only thing that mattered to him was that he found Owl, wherever his friend had run off to. Nothing else clouded his mind. Not the coding club. Not his end-of-the-day tiredness. Nothing else.

Just Owl. Just Rin.

Chapter Text

Rin was running before he could stop himself. It was such a pathetic thing to do. So lukewarm. But what else could he do? He had spent these past few months convinced that he would never meet Snow in real life. Never know his real name. Never know what he looked like. But all of a sudden, in that one split second, he had seen it all. Learned it all. Snow, his Snow, the Snow who took away his feelings of despair but was able to satiate the destructive nature in his heart — the entire time, Snow had been a few classrooms away!

It was too much to take in all at once. Freezing in place was a lukewarm reaction. Pretending to be chilled out about the situation was impossible coming from Rin himself. He was so used to glaring and spitting insults, ignoring others and curating his isolated bubble, but he couldn’t do that to Snow. He had never treated Snow like that before in earnest, only in jest during a Dead by Daylight marathon. How in the world was he meant to respond to meeting the one person he couldn’t be mean to in real life so unexpectedly? 

He couldn’t. That was why he ran.

He was a few corridors away when he heard the voice calling after him. That lovely, familiar voice which had always been able to capture his heart and command his attention.

“Owl!” Snow’s — Hiori’s — voice shouted. “Hold on! Owl! Rin!”

It was the sound of Rin’s real name calling for him that finally ground his feet to a halt. His fists clenched at his sides. He was standing in a corridor overlooking the front of the school, the late afternoon sun seeping in through the windows in rich, golden rays, staining the walls and floor with amber.

Turning around would be too much. From just that one look at Hiori back in the computer lab, the boy was beautiful. His hair was the colour of ocean waves on a lagoon, his expression bore a calming neutrality that no doubt hid more sadistic depths, and his eyes were as large and quizzical as an owl’s. He was more etherial in real life than Rin had ever expected from just hearing his voice. Why did he have to be so god damned attractive?!

Hiori’s footsteps slowed behind him and he sounded as though he were catching his breath. “Rin,” he heaved between gulps of air. “Wait, please.”

Rin didn’t move. He had nothing to say but even if he did, his lips remained sealed in a tight line.

It was Hiori who broke the silence again. “It really is you, isn’t it?”

Still unable to say anything, Rin just nodded.

“Owl,” there was a warmth, a relief, in the way Hiori said Rin’s online name in that moment, “oh my god. I can’t believe this.”

His voice was still as calm and inviting as ever. It was so much clearer in real life too. He had a good headset but even then, there had always been a certain level of garble when talking over Discord. 

At last, Rin dug his nails into his hand and slowly turned around. The sight he was met with was even more stunning than the one he had seen in the computer lab. Hiori was bathed in late-afternoon sunlight, his eyes almost seeming to glisten as they looked into Rin’s own. His smile was small but unmistakeable, as if he were holding back from grinning like a madman, and almost as soon as their gazes locked, he took another step forwards.

For a long while, neither of them spoke. They were too busy taking each other in — their faces, their shared presence, the fact that they were standing together in real life, unfettered from the restraints of a digital friendship. And just like all the other times in the past, their silence wasn’t awkward. Not to Rin, at least. No, it was hauntingly easy to let the quiet envelop him right now, letting him acclimatise to this new reveal at his own pace, not expecting him to react in a particular way. 

Hiori eventually hung his head, his smile growing as he let out a small laugh. “Are we idiots or what?”

For the first time this entire encounter, words came naturally to Rin. “Maybe you are,” he said. “I’m not.”

“Says the guy who just turned tail and sprinted away from me,” Hiori rolled his eyes. “Scared of me?”

“Shut up.”

“This isn’t DBD. I’m not gonna kill you,” Hiori then paused. “Unless you want me to, of course,” he added, cocking his head.

“You’re the one who chased after me. It’s you who’s still in killer mode.”

“Survivors run, killers pursue. Perhaps we’re just acting on our instincts?” 

Hiori then took a final step forwards. There was still a small gap between the two of them, enough to make Rin feel comfortable, but the proximity was the closest they had been to each other so far. It made a sickening heat crawl up Rin’s neck, spreading across his cheeks like fire. Up close, Hiori was more beautiful than ever.

“Seriously…” Rin murmured. “What is this? This has to be some kind of sick joke, right?”

He had pondered in the past what it would have been like to meet Hiori in real life. In all of those thought experiments though, he had been able to meet his friend completely on his own terms, not by accident thanks to a stroke of luck. And in his thoughts, a common worry had often permeated the fantasy sooner or later — that Hiori would grow to hate him.

He understood that he himself was a weird person. He was antisocial, rude, destructive and didn’t empathise well with others. He had never had a proper friend before, only stragglers who refused to leave him alone until he became too insufferable even for them. His parents had always disliked him, his father more openly than his mother, and neither of them had ever tried to understand him. And even Sae, the brother he’d thought had understood him, it turned out had not and had left him to rot just as much as everyone else in the world had. To everyone else, he was a bad person and an annoyance at best, an eyesore at worst. 

Surely to Hiori, now that they had met, it would be no different… the notion stung to think about. 

If only we could have stayed the way we were…

But then, Hiori smiled at him again, that same small, quaint smile that so clearly covered up the depths of some greater emotion. “No jokes here,” he said. “Just me, I’m afraid.”

Rin found himself once again at a loss for words. It was perhaps the most lukewarm he had ever felt in his entire life, reduced to wordless staring as his friend took a step backwards.

“We’ve still got an hour left before clubs finish,” Hiori said. “You up for beta-testing our game?”

In all honesty, Rin had forgotten that he was meant to be doing that. Seeing Hiori for the first time had completely overwhelmed him, more than pretty much anything ever had before in such a positive way. Now though, with the reality having settled in, he was able to slowly nod his head.

“I’m not joining the coding club,” he mumbled, although his words held little malice.

“Wasn’t expecting it,” Hiori replied. “Come on, I’m sure the others are wondering where we are.”

The walk back to the computer lab was quiet. Not an awkward quiet, no, this was still one of the calming, serene silences that permeated their calls whenever they ended up alone together online. Hiori was rather prim in the way he walked, his hands behind his back, his expression neutral. He had surprisingly good posture for someone who gamed as much as he did. Rin had a classic slouch indicative of the type of person who spent all evening at their computer. 

Just before they arrived back, Hiori piped up again. “Want me to deal with the others?” he asked. “Stop them asking questions and stuff?”

A response flew from Rin’s mouth before he could properly comprehend it. “Yes.”

“I’ll do my best.”

In the end, it seemed as though Hiori was rather good at talking to people. He quelled Nanase’s endless stream of questions with short, polite responses, shrugged off the odd looks the other three gave him, and apologised to their teacher for the disturbance, before showing Rin where the computer was as if this were a regular occurrence for this to happen to him. Whatever had made him so good at dispelling rowdiness and conflict, he had perfected it as if it were an art. 

The game that the club had made was clearly still in its early stages. There was plenty to criticise, from minor issues like the default mouse sensitivity being too high, to larger bugs like the game crashing if the player loaded a shotgun while carrying a lighter in their off-hand. Rin pointed out every flaw he saw without restraint, being particularly scathing on a feature that had apparently been coded by Isagi (who deserved every ounce of the criticism — the guy had tried talking to him about Sae during orientation while showing Rin around the school). 

The entire time, Hiori took notes on his phone about what he needed to focus on the most. He seemed to take none of the criticism personally, instead focussing on what needed to change and how he could best implement it. Most of the things he had coded were the smoothest-running, which probably helped him feel a bit smug compared to the other coders, but he was still doing the most out of all of them to make sure the game was the best it could be.

By the time the end of the day rolled around, Rin had thoroughly torn the game to shreds and shown the club a lot of ways the needed to improve. He had done his job. This was finally over. And yet, as he plodded out of the computer lab, he felt Hiori’s presence at his side, never getting too close but remaining in his vicinity. The others were all talking among themselves as they headed out of the school’s main entrance but Hiori lingered back with Rin, the two of them wandering at their own pace.

“I’ll be on at ten tonight,” Hiori grumbled. “I’ve got cram school now.”

Rin remembered the schedule. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, Hiori attended cram school until nine in the evening. He was usually more tired after cram school too. Rin only had it on Thursdays and Fridays, the same schedule that his brother had followed.

“Dead By Daylight tonight,” he said. “Don’t be late.”

“Won’t miss it for the world,” Hiori said. He then let out a deep breath. “Still crazy that we’ve been so close to each other the whole time.”

It really was crazy. “We should have figured it out…” Rin sighed. 

“Well, now we know. We can see each other basically whenever we want,” Hiori smiled again. “I… I know it wasn’t exactly planned, but I’m happy I got to meet you today.”

Rin’s heart thudded against his ribs. Heat once again flushed in his cheeks. He was sure he looked absolutely pathetic. “It was… good to meet you too…” was all he could manage to say.

The two of them had reached the school gates. A little way off, across the road, an unfamiliar student with waxed-up, black hair was waiting, scrolling on his phone. He looked up, saw Hiori, and waved. Hiori waved back.

“I’m going this way,” he said, pointing towards the guy. “Talk later?”

“Later,” Rin replied.

Hiori then flashed him one last smile, waved somewhat awkwardly, and took off in a tentative jog towards the other student across the road. For a few moments, Rin watched them greet each other and start walking away, before he headed off himself in the opposite direction. 

This afternoon had been an absolute mess. A mess, sure, but also exhilarating. He had never expected that he would be able to meet his online friend in real life after having pondered the possibility for so long. He had been convinced that such a thing would only ever exist in his fantasies, impossible to make a reality. 

But reality had just proven him wrong. He knew Snow now. Snow was Hiori, his senior, a boy who exuded just as calming a presence in real life as he did over a voice call. He was able to make Rin’s cheeks flush more than Rin had ever thought possible. He was attractive in a way that seemed impossible for someone who was a gamer. Perhaps the stereotype that hardcore gamers looked terrible was a lie after all?

Truly, Hiori Yo was enthralling. In real life, the effect he had on Rin was so much more potent than anything Rin had ever experienced before. What this effect was, what feeling Hiori welled up inside him, was new. Unnerving. 

But also exciting. 

-—-

“Who was that?” Karasu’s voice drawled, taking Hiori somewhat by surprise.

Hiori’s heart skipped a beat. He had to swallow the butterflies doing loops inside his throat. “So…” he managed to say, gripping his school bag tightly. “You know how I have that online friend?”

“You mean your crush?”

“Yes, my crush,” Hiori sighed, slightly exasperated, “whatever you wanna call him. Well… umm… that was him.”

The cool wind blowing was a welcome relief for the heat rising in his cheeks. It felt so weird to say such a thing, not only because his literal crush was now only a few classrooms away every single day, but because he felt like such an idiot for not having realised sooner.

Karasu didn’t reply immediately. In fact the two of them walked in silence for quite a while. 

But eventually, he hummed. “Took you long enough to figure it out.”

Hiori huffed. “I already told you, we don’t talk about real world stuff. You can’t blame me for not knowing sooner.”

“Well now you do, so you can feel silly about it all you need to,” Karasu shrugged. “So what now? Changing your ‘no dating’ stance yet?”

“No way. If anything it just confirmed my stance even more,” Hiori sighed. “I can’t put him through dating me. He’d have a horrible time.”

“He was walking beside you when you left school and watched us leave. I think he likes you well enough.”

“But he’d have to deal with—“ Hiori then paused. He gestured vaguely to himself. “All this,” he said. “My parents. My awful schedule. We’d never be allowed to see each other outside of school. I can’t go on dates or Mom would throw a fit. Dad would freak out if he knew I liked guys. It’s all such a fucking mess.” He hung his head. “I’m not dating him, okay? I can’t.”

“But you want to.”

“Of course I do but—“ 

Well, he had said it now. His mouth had moved faster than his brain and he had replied to Karasu without taking in the gravity of what he was about to spew forth into the world. He wanted to date Rin. Yes, that was a truth he knew within himself. But he couldn’t. He wasn’t allowed and would never put such a burden onto someone he loved. 

“Can we stop talking about this?” he grumbled. “Please?”

Karasu was silent for a moment. “Just don’t bury yourself alive for what you think is appeasement,” was the last thing he said on the topic.

Chapter Text

Nijiro: Phase 1 of our plan COMPLETE!

Madoka: Success!

Nijiro: Now Rin and Hiori just have to realise their true feelings for each other, confess, and live happily ever after

Madoka: Easier said than done

Nijiro: Have some faith

Nijiro: I believe in them

CrowTabi: I wouldn’t get your hopes up

CrowTabi: I’ve talked to Hiori

CrowTabi: He’s still not gonna date

Nijiro: Not at all?

Nijiro: He doesn’t want to even a little bit?

CrowTabi: That doesn’t really matter

CrowTabi: For the record he definitely does want to date

CrowTabi: Date Rin at that

CrowTabi: But he’s got a complicated relationship with this sorta thing

Madoka: Like a bad experience with an ex or smth?

CrowTabi: I’m not gonna divulge confidential information

CrowTabi: Ask him yourself if you’re so curious

CrowTabi: But don’t expect any sort of reply

CrowTabi: He barely speaks about this kind of thing even to me

Nijiro: Ah, that really is a shame

Nijiro: But if he does want to date Rin then I have hope that he can overcome whatever is holding him back

Madoka: Your optimism knows no bounds

Nijiro: I’ll take that as a compliment 

Madoka: Take it however you want

Madoka: Anyway I’ll be seeing them tonight 

Madoka: If they choose to show up that is

Madoka: Maybe nerves will get to them and they’ll chicken out

CrowTabi: Okay… I have an idea where you might know them from now but I won’t ask

CrowTabi: I doubt Hiori will chicken out

CrowTabi: He really was happy to have met Rin today

Nijiro: Rin on the other hand though…

Nijiro: Oh god

Nijiro: He might run away

Madoka: No way

Nijiro: No joke, he did that this afternoon

Nijiro: Full on sprinted form the computer lab

Nijiro: You’d think he’d forgotten his phone in his classroom or something

CrowTabi: Lol pathetic behaviour 

CrowTabi: Why Hiori is into this guy is beyond me

Madoka: Cos he’s good at games and makes Hiori excited 

CrowTabi: Thank you Niko, I was being somewhat rhetorical there

Madoka: I’m just stating the facts as they are

Nijiro: Niko you HAVE TO get Rin online tonight if he doesn’t show up

Nijiro: How long until you start?

Madoka: Like half an hour

Madoka: And yk what?

Madoka: Don’t worry about Rin running away

Nijiro: ?

Madoka: Just checked the server

Madoka: Guess who are already on voice call

CrowTabi: Oh dang that was fast

CrowTabi: Hiori will only have gotten home like five minutes ago

Nijiro: This is love right here!

Nijiro: I’m telling you!

Madoka: We believe you

CrowTabi: Literally the reason why we’re both still here is because we believe you 

Nijiro: Well then, Niko, best give them a bit of space ☺️

Madoka: Wasn’t planning on joining them for like half an hour away

Nijiro: I do wonder what they’re talking about

CrowTabi: Well that’s smth you’ll just have to ponder forever 

Nijiro: Ik ik 😭

-—-

Hiori admitted only to himself, silently, that his heart was doing loops when he entered the voice channel on the server that night. There were a plethora of things making him feel this way, all circling around having actually met Owl — Itoshi Rin — in-person. Would Rin come on call tonight? Would he run away again? Would he even want to talk to Hiori any longer now that he had seen how Hiori was in real life? 

It was all so new. Hiori had never been this excited to get home before.

Only moments after his own, lonely icon had appeared in the voice call, a second joined him as if it had been waiting there for him the entire time. A teal profile picture depicting an owl mid-flight appeared out of the blue.

“Rin?” Hiori couldn’t contain himself from speaking.

There was silence on the other end of the call for a second. Then, Rin’s voice came through with a graininess that Hiori was so glad he would no longer have to hear in real life. “Dead By Daylight is in half an hour…” Rin said bluntly. “You’re early.”

“So are you.”

Another silence. “I just saw you were already here and got curious,” Rin eventually mumbled. 

It was such an obvious lie that it became cute. Hiori would never say such a thing out loud, but since he now knew the face behind the boy talking to him, it was insane how cute Rin was. Someone so emo and antisocial-looking, known for being a storm cloud who never liked anyone, was so different when anonymity was presumed and he was hidden behind a screen. Sure, he was still scathing and blunt, Hiori noticed more connections the more he thought about it, but there was a distinct lack of annoyance in Rin's voice whenever he spoke over Discord.

“How was today?” Hiori asked, rocking back in his chair. “Did the coding club sufficiently disappoint you?”

A moment of silence hung in the air. “Your game still needs a lot of work,” Rin then replied with a begrudging slowness.

“Oh I know, don’t worry. You can be as harsh as you want about it. I mean, you already were back at school, but if you ever think of anything else we need to improve, do tell me.”

“The music was too loud,” Rin said, much quicker in his response this time. “Adjust the default sound settings.”

“Will do.”

“And the menu is too dark. It blends in with the background too much.”

“I’ll lighten it up a bit then.”

Rin then paused. “Aren’t you mad?”

Hiori frowned. “No. Why?”

“Because I’m tearing apart a project you spent ages on.”

“Well I was expecting as much from what the others had told me about you,” Hiori admitted, “so maybe my nerves are a bit steeled? But not gonna lie, I do like your honesty. It’s refreshing and gives me a clear idea of what needs to be better.”

“So you don’t think I’m being horrible to you?” Rin asked.

“Not personally, although you could work on how you word things… Rin, I value honesty. So if anything, thank you for not sugar-coating your words around me.”

Honesty was something Hiori received very little of in his life. His parents pretended to love him but if it weren’t for his brains and mathematics skills they would have either sent him away to live with his grandparents or they would have flat out abandoned him on the side of the road by now. Most of the coding club just threw praise at his coding skills, never having the heart to critique him even when he asked for it. And even Karasu, while not dishonest towards Hiori himself, still wrapped himself up in a facade of cocky superiority when it was clear that he had issues with his personal image. Indeed, Hiori noticed the swarms of dishonesty circling around him in a whirlpool, wishing that he could just freeze it and shatter it away forever.

Rin was blunt and brutal, yes, but he so far wasn’t one to lie. Not in the time that Hiori had known him online. Not in the brief exchanges they had shared today. That was such a relief that Rin would probably never truly understand. Words alone couldn’t articulate how much it meant to Hiori that for once, someone was only telling him their unfiltered opinions.

“Well…” Rin said, “I do this a lot. So don’t get mad at me for saying things as they are.”

Hiori chuckled at that. “I don’t think it’s possible for me to get mad at you for something like that.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“What do you mean?”

Another silence. “Doesn’t matter…”

Something in Hiori could tell that Rin had things going on in his own life. He had suspected it for a while, given how violently Rin played Dead By Daylight and how he had literally never brought up real life, sticking purely to online-adjacent discussions. Knowing him in real life now, he had seemed like the most stereotypical antisocial student in the world, the kinds that were put in PSAs about keeping an eye on each other because ‘you never know what is going on at home’. Whatever it was, Hiori would continue to not pry — it was how the two of them had done things since the beginning and it was clear that Rin felt most comfortable that way.

So instead of questioning things further, Hiori just hummed. “Thank you for being honest today,” he settled with instead. “Don’t feel the need to hide that side of yourself around me, okay?”

A low grunt sounded through his headphones. Whether or not Rin believed his words didn’t matter. He had heard them. He could take them whichever way he wanted.

“I was thinking of going back to my main Blight build tonight,” Hiori decided to change the subject to something both of them would be more at ease talking about. “You gonna match me?”

Rin clicked his tongue. “No. I’ll use Nancy with Resilience and Dead Hard. You’re suffering in hell tonight.”

“Madoka and Imp are about to be so annoyed when you play for yourself again. Sei probably won’t care though.”

“Let them be mad. I’m just sweaty like that.”

“We’ll see. Whatever happens, I’m still gonna be the one killing you all.”

“I’d like to see you try."

“Oh, I’ll bring my all to this one.”

-—-

Imp: Madokaaaaaaa

Madoka: Yes?

Imp: That game was a NIGHTMARE

Madoka: Tell me about it

Imp: Snow killed me a million times over I swear!

Imp: And he was flirting with Owl the whole time

Imp: Srsly get a room you two!

Madoka: Fr their flirting gets more and more obvious by the day

Madoka: Not surprising tonight considering…

Imp: Considering what???

Imp: Madoka don’t leave me hanging

Imp: Madokaaaaaaaaaa

Madoka: Lol I’m just messing

Madoka: Snow and Owl have met up in real life

Imp: WHAT?

Madoka: Yeah today they met for the first time

Imp: SINCE WHEN WERE THEY GONNA DO THAT

Madoka: Well it was sort of an accident?

Madoka: Except not really

Madoka: But also kinda

Imp: No fairrrrr

Imp: I wanna meet up now

Imp: Can we meet up?

Imp: I’ll take you to that one store I saw that has Madoka Magica figurines

Imp: I think there’s a collab event going on rn

Madoka: Are we even anywhere near each other irl?

Madoka: Sei would never travel half way across the country just to meet up with us

Madoka: ‘It’s a hassle’ and all that

Madoka: And I do quite like my anonymity

Imp: Well I did mean more just the two of us meeting up

Imp: but ur right

Madoka: Oh

Madoka: Well

Madoka: Ig if it’s just the two of us

Madoka: Where do you live?

Imp: Kobe

Madoka: Oh shit really?

Madoka: Wait that’s actually so close to me

Imp: Really??

Imp: Where are you?

Madoka: Kyoto

Imp: NO WAY

Imp: WE HAVE TO MEET UP PLZ PLZ PLZ

Madoka: Okay I’m genuinely considering this 

Madoka: Send me your details

Madoka: I’ll see when I’m next available

Imp: YES!!!

Imp: Owl and Snow think they can be better than us but jokes on them!!!

Madoka: Lmao

Madoka: You’re srsly just doing this to copy those two lovestruck idiots?

Imp: Well when you word it like that I sound petty

Madoka: Since when are you not petty?

Imp: I just think we should be able to see each other irl

Imp: Do you think all five of us ever will meet together?

Madoka: Doubt it

Madoka: See my earlier point about Sei

Imp: True

Madoka: Also me trying to keep anonymous for… reasons I won’t disclose

Imp: Fine, keep your secrets

Madoka: More than happy to

Imp: I wanna play Val now

Imp: Wanna join?

Madoka: Sure thing, I’ve got a bit of time before sleeping

Madoka: don’t forget to send me your details if you wanna meet

Imp: Will do!!

-—-

Rin awoke the next morning with a weird fluttery feeling in his chest. He had slept surprisingly well after everything that had happened, engulfed in the calming memory of Hiori’s voice wishing him goodnight after their gaming session the previous night had come to an end. How one person could be a cause of such security in Rin's life, he had no idea… well, that might be a lie.

He had cared this much for someone once before — his brother, Sae. The two of them had been inseparable as children, doing everything together, getting told off together, playing as if they were the only two people in the world. Back then, it had felt as if it hadn't mattered at all that the rest of the universe seemed to hate Rin. Sae had been his rock, his constant, a reminder that there was one glimmer in the isolation, one who would be by his side…

But then Sae had gone to university early. He had always been a savant, far ahead of his peers in the classroom, and Tokyo U had offered him a place when he was only sixteen years old. He had taken it, gone away, and when he had come back he had been… changed? Or had he just come out of his shell and was now showing his true colours? Rin had no idea which, but the bottom line was that when they had reunited after Sae’s first year, things had completely fallen apart.

Rin hated thinking back on that fight, the one that had ended with Sae storming out, throwing open the front door, and driving off into the midwinter snow. The words he had said had cut deep, burrowing into Rin’s core and making his body ache with fury every time the memories resurfaced.

Yes, he had cared for someone deeply once. It had hurt him worse than anything else in the universe ever could. But now it was happening again, feelings of relief rearing their heads once more for Hiori Yo, the quiet but kind second year with a smile that could soothe the most fractured heart.

Why couldn’t they have just remained online friends, never seeing each other and always having that disconnect between them? That separation, it seemed, had been the one thing keeping Rin’s feelings from becoming so visceral. So intense. That barrier was gone now. All that remained was Hiori in his vicinity, merely a few corridors away at school, coaxing such sappy, lukewarm emotions out of Rin’s heart in a way he had refused to let ever happen again in any capacity. 

He couldn’t care so deeply for someone again. He wouldn’t let himself… but he wanted to try again. No matter now much his anger begged him to keep away, there was something about Hiori’s calming smile that just kept bringing him back to one thought — seeking out the computer lab again after school that day.

Chapter Text

Rin was stuck between two states of mind — going to the coding club or going straight home. The dilemma teased the corners of his thoughts all throughout morning classes, lunchtime and the afternoon. It was only a few minutes until the final bell and he still had not come up with a course of action.

On the one hand, he had stated rather bluntly that he refused to join the coding club. If he did go, it wasn’t because he wanted to help the other lukewarm members make a game. His showing up would purely be so that he could see Hiori again, and that thought made him nauseous. No one should have such a positive effect on him. It was ridiculous that he was considering actively seeking out the companionship of another person after experiencing the crippling abandonment that came afterwards. Therefore, going home should be the optimal strategy, right?

Only, what would that do? He couldn’t play with Hiori online until Hiori arrived home from school, and homework never took him too long to complete. It would just be more of the same if he were to leave as usual, and he wouldn’t get to see Hiori’s small smile, or hear his voice without the addition of static. The Hiori he could see every day was the one who he had pondered meeting for so long inside his head, and now that he had the opportunity to meet him in real life he was chickening out like a lukewarm loser. 

The fact of the matter was that most normal people didn’t get this wound up over one singular person and the fact that it was happening to Rin at all was sign enough that he was either taking things far too seriously or he was incredibly unwell.

At least Nanase had been true to his word. All day, the guy hadn’t pestered Rin once. At lunch he had disappeared out of the classroom, only coming back a few minutes before afternoon lessons were to begin. It was a relief, all things considered. At least there was no nagging to add another bout of stress to Rin’s already rather undecided mind.

Although, perhaps Nanase’s pestering would have helped him come to a swifter conclusion?

The final bell rang and Rin’s body moved like clockwork. He packed his things, zipped up his bag, slung it over his shoulder and headed out. He was walking towards the main entrance, so it seemed as though this was the decision he had come to — going home. That was fine. An aching, gnawing sensation in his gut grew with every step he took but that was just something he was going to have to deal with.

He arrived at the entrance, found his locker and went to slip on his outdoor shoes. When he was half way through the action though, a hand suddenly slammed against the wall of lockers next to him. The sound didn’t startle him though; he was more than familiar with the guy who he was now going to have to deal with.

Shidou — a third year who had become rather close to Sae during their short time together before Sae had gone to university — was standing with a rather nonchalant slouch next to the younger Itoshi. “S’up, Rin-rin,” he slurred through a maniacal expression.

Rin felt the grimace sinking into his features. “Piss off,” he spat, securing his shoes on his feet.

“Aww, snippy today,” Shidou mused. “I’m just here with a message from your brother, is all.”

From Sae? Rin hated the way he stood up with a start, staring at the cocky third year opposite him. If Hiori made Rin care for someone in a positive way, then Sae made him care in a negative way. They were starting to represent two ends of a spectrum, one which Rin really didn’t like existing in his mind but it seemed as though that was what his subconscious was laying out for him regardless.

“Interested?” Shidou raised an eyebrow. “Well, it wasn’t anything major. He was just wondering if you’d joined the art club yet?”

Rin wanted to leave, to get out of this shitty conversation. “Obviously not,” he hissed. “As if I’d ever join a club you’re in.”

“Such a shame, isn’t it?”

“You could have just told my brother that without seeing me first, so fuck off.”

“I’m only the messenger here. Besides, you should really hear what Sae has to say more often. I hear you don’t even try to answer his calls.”

A fury inside Rin flared. “What the fuck does he tell you?”

Shidou was grinning like a madman, to the point where other students around the two of them were starting to distance themselves. They all knew where this could escalate to — where it most likely was about to escalate to. Rin knew it too, that was why his hands were balling into white-knuckled fists and his stance was lowering. 

“Rin-rin,” Shidou sighed. “We don’t need this kind of attitude from you. Respect your seniors a bit more.”

“I’d rather chew off my own foot, Cockroach,” Rin glowered.

“Bold words coming from someone so young," Shidou's stance lowered. "Makes me excited to teach you a lesson!"

He lunged, leg outstretching to kick Rin square in the gut. It was a move he had done countless times before and one that Rin was more than capable of dodging. He did so with ease, sidestepping as if this were a rehearsed dance, not a corridor fight. Did this seriously have to happen right now?

But he underestimated his opponent. Shidou landed, hooked his leg back and all of a sudden Rin was slamming face-first into the lockers. Pain erupted in his mouth as he bit his tongue, the taste of iron overpowering everything. His temple burned with pain… and an anger that only burned for Shidou ignited into an unstoppable, raging blaze.

Shidou would fucking pay for that.

The rest of the world drowned out. No longer did the shouts of the other students, hands clawing at his uniform trying to drag him back, or the growing flurry as everyone crowded around matter to him. His fists flew. He punched and kicked. Only a deep-seated, primal rage coursed through him. For every attack that landed, he received one back in return. Punches. Scrapes. Scratches. Kicks. The pain bruising his bones barely even registered. All he could think was an endless repetition of ‘fight’, ‘kill’, ‘destroy’.

Shidou would pay. Everyone else in the world could fuck off if they didn’t like it.

-—-

The final bell rang for Hiori with as little fanfare as usual. He’d had mathematics as his final lesson, so his brain was quite thoroughly drained. At least he now had the coding club to look forward to. A part of him was hoping that Rin would show up but another part was rather convinced that Rin wouldn’t come back. The two of them had shared a fun, long conversation the night before and Rin simply didn’t seem like the type to indulge in club activities.

That was fine. They could continue to meet online… although, a part of Hiori did still want to see Rin in real life again. He supposed that in order to do such a thing, he might have to go to the first year classrooms and seek Rin out for himself at lunchtime. That wouldn’t be the worst predicament, all things considered, just perhaps slightly awkward.

He was heading down towards the computer lab when all of a sudden he heard shouting. At the end of the corridor, there were several first years all sprinting past, heading in the direction of the front of the school. Their faces bore expressions ranging from confused to distressed, some pointing out of eyeshot and others beckoning their friends to follow them.

Strange… Hiori thought. There wasn’t much point in getting caught up in it though. Most likely, someone was simply misbehaving… well, he thought that until he saw Nanase sprint past. 

“Rin!” Nanase was shouting. “Oh my god!”

Rin?

All of a sudden, this situation had become a whole lot different. It shouldn’t have mattered. It should just have been some regular school rowdiness. But Hiori’s feet were moving of their own accord, quickening to a jog, then a run as he rounded the corner to the front of the school.

The entire entryway was in havoc. A crowd had formed itself around the lockers, students pushing and shoving to get a look at whatever was going on within. Shouts echoed across the walls in deafening thrums as the crowd goaded the fight to continue. Only Nanase seemed to be shouting for it to stop, trying desperately to push his way through to the front. He disappeared between the throng of uniforms right as Hiori approached.

Luckily, he was tall, so he was just about able to see into the middle of the fray. His eyes widened as soon as his gaze landed on what was happening. 

Rin was a bloodied up mess, his face caked in grazes and scratch marks from his opponent — even Hiori had heard about Shidou Ryuusei and his violent tendencies. Nanase was trying his best to pull Rin away but it was no use and Rin kept going back in for punch after punch, being met with equal vigour from his opponent. It was insanity. Destruction.

Holy shit… Rin is cool—

“What in the world is going on here?!” a shrill, adult voice suddenly yelled.

While the fight continued, most heads turned to see Miss Anri standing a little way behind the crowd, her face plastered with horror. All of a sudden, the atmosphere in the room completely shifted. Instead of goading on the fight, all of a sudden the bigger members of the crowd were pushing through to try and break the two boys apart, others hurrying away before they could get caught enabling such a thing. 

Hiori, for his part, rushed in without a second thought. He was at Nanase’s side in seconds, throwing his arms around Rin and dragging him back while the other boys finally got a hold of Shidou. Rin’s breaths were laboured and strained in Hiori’s ear, his eyes burning with blind rage. As Miss Anri entered the thinning crowd, she took one look at Rin’s beaten up face and stifled a shocked gasp.

“You two,” she looked at Nanase and Hiori, “get him to the infirmary.”

She then turned her attention to Shidou, who was still struggling with all his might to break free from the five boys holding him down, almost succeeding several times. 

Hiori sucked in a breath. His heart was hammering against his ribs.

“You heard Miss Anri,” Nanase stammered. “Come on—“

“Fuck you!” Rin lashed out towards Shidou, not listening at all. “Fuck you and my brother! I’ll kill you both!”

“Enough of that,” Miss Anri turned to him. “I’ll deal with you in a minute.”

“Please, Rin,” Nanase begged, “just let it go.”

Clearly this was getting them all nowhere. Such gentle coaxing wouldn’t work at all. And so, Hiori unwound his arms from Rin’s body, instead placing a respectful hand on Rin's shoulder and squeezing tight. “We’re going, Rin,” he said assertively.

All of a sudden, the struggle stopped. Rin froze, motionless for a moment, and then his eyes flicked from Shidou to where Hiori was standing at his side. The one-track fury that had been pooling in his gaze dissipated in an instant, replaced with something far more emotional, like a deer in headlights.

Hiori didn’t budge. “You need the nurse,” he said, once again pulling on Rin’s sleeve. 

He started to guide Rin away from the entrance, deeper into the school. Surprisingly, Rin followed, silent and closed off. Nanase stayed with them, glancing back over his shoulder every few seconds as if he were afraid Shidou might come bounding down the corridor at any moment.

Hiori had just watched a fight so violent that Rin’s face was going to be bruised for days. Rin had smears of blood across his cheeks, a torn lip, the scratch marks were blooming into deep, red gashes, and now that Hiori was looking, the seams of Rin’s blazer had come loose at the shoulder, exposing the white shirt underneath. 

And yet, Hiori wasn’t afraid or angry or disappointed. None of those emotions were swirling inside him. Instead, he had a weird mixture of fascination, awe and excitement fluttering in his chest. Whatever made Rin capable of instilling such thrill in him, it was the first time he had ever experienced such a feeling outside of playing video games.

Chapter Text

The nurse’s office was empty. It was typical that this had to happen right now. Most likely she had just stepped out to the staff lounge to make a coffee or something, but it did leave the three boys standing in an awkward group outside the office door. Hiori let out a tired sigh. Rin barely moved. Nanase scratched the side of his head.

“Well, this isn’t ideal,” he said. 

“Not how I was planning to spend today,” Hiori echoed.

At his side, Rin was completely silent. Hiori glanced over, receiving no acknowledgement whatsoever. It was as if whatever violent rage had been erupting from Rin only a few minutes ago, it had been doused into a staunch, bitter quiet that almost seemed to infect the atmosphere around him. 

Hiori had never expected such behaviour from his online friend. Owl had been ruthless and blunt, sometimes even argumentative, but that had always been digital — gamer rage at most. Everyone experienced that from time to time. This was reality though, not some online multiplayer game where their opponents had gotten too annoying to deal with. The violence was chilling. Disturbing.

Amazing.

Should Hiori have been more concerned for himself? For the fact that this hadn’t negatively changed his perspective of Rin at all? No, this was incredible! He had always admired those who were able to stand up for themselves regardless of how much pain it landed them in. Every scrape and scratch ,every bruise now blooming from the red marks all over Rin’s face, was undeniable proof that whatever had happened to him, he had fought back. More than anything, Hiori found it beautiful.

This was doing wonders for his crush… and absolute horrors for his hesitation to act on said crush.

“Okay, this might take a while,” Nanase’s voice brought him back to reality. “Clubs have already started…” he paused. “You know what? Hiori, you wait here with Rin. I’ll go fill the coding club in on what happened.”

Hiori frowned. “You’re sure?”

Nanase flashed him a strangely chipper smile. “Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll understand,” he gave a thumbs up. “Take as long as you need. We can get started without you since Ego keeps a backup of the game files.” And with that he started walking off.

“Wait—“ Hiori stammered. The idea of being left alone with Rin right now made his heart leap. Of course he wanted it to happen and Nanase offering to head back to the coding club satisfied the selfish, love-struck desire to keep Rin to himself. But still, he couldn’t let his feelings get out of hand. If he did, he didn’t know what he’d do with himself. 

No romance, the terrified, exhausted part of his brain screamed at him. Not after what you’ve seen. Mom and Dad are the inevitable end point of such things.

But Nanase just grinned over his shoulder. “I don’t mind,” he said. “Just make sure Rin is okay. And Rin,” he called, not receiving any kind of response, “Hiori will take good care of you, okay?" He then disappeared around the corner and was gone.

It was quiet in the otherwise empty corridor. Whatever ruckus the fight had caused, it had now completely dispersed and students had scurried off to their club rooms or gone home. The lack of sound was borderline unnerving but it also brought with it a tranquility that was probably what Rin needed right now to quell his anger.

Outside the nurse’s office door there was a small row of chairs for students to wait on. Hiori was the one to make a first move towards them, sitting himself down in the seat closest to the door and patting the one next to him, smiling softly when Rin eventually followed and lowered himself down next to him. For the next couple of minutes they just sat in silence, Hiori staring off into space, wondering what the coding club was up to. Were they really getting on with their work like Nanase had said they would? Or were they just gossiping about the fight? Presuming at least one other person had seen it from afar, of course.

“Why are you still here?” Rin then suddenly muttered.

The question somewhat took Hiori by surprise. He leaned back in his chair, shrugging. “The nurse isn’t here yet, so…”

“Is it just because Miss Anri told you to stay with me?”

“Well I guess that’s part of it.”

“Go away...” Rin sounded completely dejected, his tone low and his voice a lot quieter than usual. Bitterness laced his words, betraying a disdain that was seemingly still festering in his mind.

Hiori hummed. “Don’t wanna.”

“You’re already late for your club.”

“Nanase can explain everything to Mr. Ego. I don’t mind being late.”

“Hiori.”

The sound of his name made Hiori turn his head to pay attention to Rin fully. Taking him in now, the marks on his cheek really did look bad, the scrapes having drawn blood in a few places that was starting to scab over. It looked a lot nastier than it likely felt, but still, the sight of it made another flicker of admiration flutter inside his chest.

His hands were moving on their own. He pulled a folded, white handkerchief out of his pocket— something his parents always insisted he took to school with him 'just in case'. He then fumbled with his bag, grasping his drink bottle and uncapping the lid. Cool water dampened the cloth in an instant. After a quick shake out, he reached out and pressed the handkerchief against Rin’s cheek.

The reaction was instantaneous. Rin winced, hissing, his face scrunching up as he tensed all over. But he didn’t lurch away. No, he instead remained exactly where he was. “What?” his words were stilted. "Why—“

“Because you’re hurt,” Hiori said, “and the nurse isn’t here yet. It’s not much but it’s better than nothing.”

Rin’s face didn’t change from a mildly confused glower, but he let out a deep sigh and slumped his shoulders. “Do whatever you want…” he mumbled.

Hiori took the permission gladly. He tried not to lean in too close, both to respect Rin’s personal space and also because he feared that if he did let himself get much closer, his heart wouldn’t be able to take it. Truly every flinch, stifled groan and pained expression Rin made as Hiori wiped the smears of dried blood off his cheeks, chin and swollen lip were mesmerising. It was difficult to contain a shiver of anticipation.

Still, when he turned Rin’s head to face him so that he had better access to the other cheek, their proximity inevitably became closer, only a few inches apart. Like this, the beauty of Rin’s features became all the more apparent. Hidden beneath the bruises and the grazes was an undeniably etherial visage, with gorgeous, teal eyes and long, delicate under-lashes. To think, until the other day this lovely face had been a mystery to Hiori, hidden behind a computer screen. It felt criminal now.

“Are you done?” Rin grumbled.

Reality once again set back in. “Sorry,” Hiori said quickly, finishing up his work and pulling back. “I didn’t mean to take so long.”

“No I mean—“ 

The way Rin halted his words was borderline comical. He had been so close to admitting that he had enjoyed the care. That much was obvious from the way his cheeks were now reddening not with bruises but with blush. It was honestly rather cute, not that Hiori would ever say such a thing out loud. He could think it to himself in silence, revelling in the fact that he had been able to coax such a reaction out of Rin.

“I did my best,” he said, glancing down at his handkerchief. 

It was stained with specks of blood streaking across the otherwise pristine white. Another shiver crawled through his body. The only thing stopping him from being too excited was the fact that he would definitely have to hide this from his mother once he went home. If she saw the blood while washing it and thought it was his own, she would have a stroke. If he confessed that it was someone else’s, he would receive a long, entitled lecture about how he should never waste his own belongings on others.

“So,” he started, “still want me to leave?”

Rin didn’t reply but the blush in his face deepened. This was fun — drawing out this more flustered side of his friend. For now, it would do to satisfy the emotions currently doing cartwheels inside Hiori’s mind, satiating his desire to confess his feelings there and then. That was far, far too dangerous.

Never date anyone. Never date anyone. Never date anyone.

But he wanted to. He wanted to do all the things high schoolers did that he wasn’t allowed to partake in. Asking Rin out would mean more to him than any mathematics award ever would. But he couldn’t. He kept telling himself that over and over as silence once again descended between them.

He could have Rin like this, as a friend who he went to school with and played video games with in the evenings. That was more than he could ever ask for. He already had so much. The coding club. The gaming group. Rin — his Owl — here, next to him in real life. He couldn’t risk wanting for anything more. Not unless he wanted to burn himself and the people he loved in the long run.

-—-

“And that’s why Hiori is still with Rin at the nurse’s office,” Nanase finished his explanation to the rest of the coding club. His smile was still plastered on his face, having only grown since leaving the other two behind.

The rest of the room sat in stunned silence for a moment.

“Damn, poor Hiori,” Chigiri then lamented. “Stuck with Rin and no one else. You should’ve stayed with them.”

Kurona nodded. Isagi looked off to the side awkwardly.

“But it’s not bad at all!” Nanase protested. “This is exactly what I needed to happen right about now.”

“Rin getting punched in the face by Shidou?” asked Isagi.

“No, Rin and Hiori being left alone together,” Nanase said. 

“How come?” Kurona’s brow furrowed.

Nanase shook his head. “You don’t get it. My plan is finally getting somewhere. If this keeps up, we might be able to see Rin finally come out of his shell enough to do something about his crush.” Another shocked silence crashed down on the group. After a couple of seconds, Nanase blinked at the others. “I did tell you about this, didn’t I?”

Chigiri looked as though he had just witnessed murder. “Itoshi Rin likes Hiori?!”

“Since when, since when?” Kurona gawked.

“You’re completely sure about this?” Isagi asked. “And even so, what about Hiori’s own feelings.”

“Oh… I forgot to tell you guys,” Nanase scratched the back of his head. “Okay, guess we’re getting all this out now. Umm… so Hiori and Rin like each other.”

“They like…” Chigiri parroted, “… each other?”

“That’s what I said, yes,” Nanase nodded.

“Hiori likes Rin?” Isagi frowned. “The guy he met literally yesterday.”

“But that’s the thing,” Nanase replied, “they didn’t just meet yesterday. They’ve known each other for months online and it’s pretty much confirmed that they’re into each other big time.”

Kurona crossed his arms. “And exactly how much did you stalk them to figure this out?”

“I didn’t stalk them! I just…” did Nanase’s actions count as stalking? He was just putting information together in his head, right? Sure, he had a groupchat dedicated to making sure this relationship's development went smoothly but still— okay, perhaps it was a bit stalkerish. “I’m not trying to get directly involved,” he said. “I just… Rin is so lonely. You’re not in class with him every day so you don’t see it, but he really is incredibly lonely.”

“And he brings that upon himself,” Chigiri shrugged.

“Well yes but I think if he can just let someone in, even just a little bit, maybe it’ll help things. And right now, the only person he seems capable of doing that with is Hiori. Plus, Hiori’s long-time friend told me they confirmed that the feelings are mutual. If anyone can get through to Rin, I think Hiori can. I just wanna see it work out is all.”

The others seemed vaguely unsure still. They exchanged looks as if unconvinced, but then Chigiri let out a deep, long sigh and fixed his hair. “Well, I suppose if anyone besides you is kind enough to even give Rin a chance, it would be Hiori,” he admitted.

Isagi agreed. “As long as it doesn’t hurt him, I suppose we can’t be too judgemental, if Rin really is the one he wants.”

“As long as Hiori is happy,” Kurona echoed the sentiment.

At least they were all trying to be accepting of it. That was all Nanase could really ask for, given Rin’s absolutely abysmal reputation. Just like they had said, what mattered most was what both Hiori and Rin wanted, and the fact of the matter was that what they wanted right now was each other. Nothing was going to change that.

Whatever the two of them did or did not get up to right now was no one’s business but theirs, no matter how much a part of Nanase itched to go back and spy on them. Knowing the two of them though, it might not look like much from the outside. Neither of them struck him as the types to be into much PDA.

But whatever the case, this was a massive development! He would be sure to update his groupchat about what had happened.

Chapter Text

By the time the nurse had come back, Rin had been fully cleaned up, and Miss Anri had received a full report from both himself and Hiori as to what had happened, the final bell of the day was ringing. Clubs were over and everyone still at school after-hours was going home. The afternoon had ended up being an absolute mess.

“Aah,” Hiori sighed as the two of them headed out of the school gates together, “that was certainly something.”

Rin didn’t respond. He just walked on in silence. He had nothing to say and his gut was still writhing with fury towards Shidou. 

At least he hadn’t been expelled for the fight, not even suspended. Shidou had been suspended, it turned out, because he had started it. Instead of that, Rin was just going to have to serve after-school detention for two weeks and write a formal letter of apology to the school principal for starting such a ruckus in the main entrance. It was pathetic. No doubt his parents would be as un-approving as ever once they inevitably received a call home or email about the incident. 

After a couple of minutes, Rin noticed that Hiori was still walking alongside him. He frowned, words finally coming to him. “Why are you here?”

In response, Hiori cocked his head. “I live this way?”

“But yesterday—“

“I had cram school yesterday. That’s over in that direction,” Hiori gestured vaguely at the road behind them. “On days without it I go this way.”

“I’ve never seen you come this way before,” Rin scowled.

“Because you usually leave an hour before me,” Hiori rolled his eyes. “Did Shidou knock the sense out of you?”

Rin’s head did admittedly ache rather a lot. His face and limbs had been cleaned up with disinfectant and then covered in bandaids, but the tablets he’d been asked to take had done very little to soothe the dull pain in his temples. He was slightly dizzy too. Perhaps he had a concussion? If so, Shidou was going to pay big time the next time they saw each other. 

The two boys continued to walk in silence, side by side, the sun setting over the rooftops of the surrounding houses. The route took them down a couple of alleyways and through a gate to a large cycling path that cut through several rice fields. Since the area was on the fringes of Kyoto, these sorts of rural patches dotted the locality, providing a hint of quietness amidst the bustle of city life. The air was cooling as fall set in, the days shortening, and by the time they were at the other end of the cycling road, coming to a large, residential area, the sun had already dipped behind the hills to the west.

“I’m going this way,” Hiori pointed to the right, where the road extended downwards around the backs of a row of houses. 

That wasn’t the route Rin took. He was heading straight on into the heart of the residential district. In that case, this was the end of their journey together. For the first time since the fight, they were going to be separated.

Why did that notion make an uneasiness well up inside Rin? It was a feeling he’d gotten as a child whenever he’d been told off at school and Sae had come to his defence. Whenever they had arrived at home, he had felt scared of separating from his older brother for the rest of the day, always following him around, keeping close. The fact that he wanted to do that right now with Hiori made his gut turn.

“See you tomorrow?” Hiori asked.

Rin’s brow creased. He gripped his bag straps. “Tomorrow…”

A brief silence fell. “Are you alright?” Hiori then asked. “Rin, what you told Miss Anri today… Shidou really got to you, didn’t he? What’s up with that?”

The mere mention of that disgusting cockroach was enough to have Rin’s mind reeling. “Why do you care?” he spat. “It’s none of your business.”

Hiori sucked in a deep breath. He stepped back. “No, it’s not…” he said. “Sorry, I was just trying to…” His voice was different from anything Rin had ever heard from him before. It was quieter. Feebler. Colder. He started to head down the pathway home. “See you…” he mumbled, barely loud enough to be heard, not looking back as he left.

All Rin could do was stand and watch him go. The uneasiness in his gut doubled. Had he just fucked up? Had he just said something that had upset Hiori? He couldn’t tell. Hiori was so aloof in real life, so different from his more outgoing online persona. Rin meanwhile had always been blunt and distant from most people. But despite that, he couldn’t help liking Hiori as much as he did. The sudden realisation that his blunt words could have put strain on their friendship cut into him like a knife piercing his flesh.

He watched Hiori go, not having it in him to call out after his friend. What was he supposed to do? As he continued to walk home, leaving the rice fields behind, his jaw tightened so much it ached and his hands gripped his bag straps until they chafed his palms.

—-

Nijiro has added <4> people to the group

CrowTabi: Nanase…

CrowTabi: What’s this about?

Nijiro: You two, meet our new co-conspirators!

Madoka: ?

Yoichi: Hi there

BuzzyBee: Yo!

Princess: Hello

SharkBoy: Hi hi

Madoka: Okay that’s a lot of people

Madoka: Also Kurona is that you???

SharkBoy: I’m here yes

SharkBoy: Niko right?

SharkBoy: Nanase told us you were here

Madoka: Well there goes my precious anonymity

Nijiro: Sorry Niko 😅

Nijiro: In my defence they would have found out very soon anyway

Madoka: Oh well we might as well just blast my Discord to the entire school atp

CrowTabi: Is this the entire coding club?

CrowTabi: Not counting Hiori

Yoichi: Should be

BuzzyBee: And me I’m here too

Madoka: Who are you?

BuzzyBee: Bachira Meguru :)

BuzzyBee: Second year from the dance club

BuzzyBee: Isagi’s best friend and Hiori’s classmate

BuzzyBee: I’m basically a part of the coding club by association 

CrowTabi: Well then that makes almost everyone in Hiori’s life aware of his crush now

CrowTabi: Hi by the way

CrowTabi: I’m Karasu

CrowTabi: A third year

BuzzyBee: Nanase told us about you too!

Princess: Honestly we’re just here to see how everything goes down

Princess: And maybe help here and there

BuzzyBee: We can scheme together!

CrowTabi: Nanase what did you tell these guys exactly?

Nijiro: That we’re a group dedicated to helping Hiori and Rin maybe possibly one day get together

Nijiro: Through non-invasive means

CrowTabi: Uh huh

CrowTabi: NON-INVASIVE MEANS

CrowTabi: We’re sticking to that okay guys?

BuzzyBee: Roger that!

Princess: Heard loud and clear

Yoichi: We just want what’s best for Hiori 

SharkBoy: What he said

CrowTabi: I mildly feel like I’m herding cats here

CrowTabi: But okay

CrowTabi: Stick to the golden rule of no hands-on intervention and it should be fine

Nijiro: Exactly!

Nijiro: Don’t worry Karasu

Nijiro: Hiori and Rin will maybe hopefully realise their feelings of their own accord

Nijiro: Just you watch

-—-

Owl: Hey

Owl: Nanase Nijiro

Owl: Lukewarm

Owl: It’s Rin

Nijiro: Woah wait how do you have my Discord?

Owl: Because you told me it on the first day of school

Nijiro: You remember that?

Owl: Shut up or I’m leaving

Nijiro: Right right

Nijiro: Need help with smth?

Nijiro: What’s going on?

Owl: idk

Owl: fuck this

Owl: I just thought since you’re Hiori’s friend you could help

Owl: But this is bullshit

Nijiro: Hiori?

Nijiro: Did smth happen?

Owl: It’s none of your business

Nijiro: Okay…?

Owl: …

Owl: I think I made Hiori mad

Nijiro: ???

Owl: I said something to him and he got cold with me

Owl: I don’t know what to do

Nijiro: Ah, I see

Owl: There okay I said it

Owl: You’re the weird social butterfly here

Owl: Tell me what I have to do to fix this

Owl: Hurry up Lukewarm

Nijiro: Okay okay

Nijiro: First of all I seriously doubt Hiori is actually mad at you

Nijiro: You just have a… certain way of speaking and sometimes it can take people aback

Owl: Hiori said outside the nurse’s office that I need to work on my tone

Nijiro: It would help yes

Owl: Fuck that

Nijiro: And there’s the issue

Nijiro: Ideally I’d just tell you to apologise the next time you see him but I doubt you’ll do that

Nijiro: Right?

Owl: I don’t see what I did wrong

Owl: He was prying and asking questions about my personal life

Owl: I told him it was none of his business

Owl: And he just suddenly got all distant on me

Nijiro: Ah yes well Rin there’s a tone to this sort of thing

Nijiro: People usually don’t say things that bluntly

Owl: I’m not changing just for the sake of satisfying everyone’s lukewarm, fragile expectations

Nijiro: I’m not expecting you to do that

Nijiro: Hiori most likely won’t either

Nijiro: He just maybe had an emotional reaction is all

Nijiro: As I say, apologise when you next see him or at least bring up that you didn’t mean to be so rude to him

Nijiro: See if that works

Owl: ………..

Nijiro: You’ve got this Rin!!!

Owl: Fuck off

-—-

Rin scowled at Nanase’s last message. Part of him wanted to throw his phone. Another part of him wanted to implode in on himself and die. He was hunched in his desk chair, his computers screen glowing in front of him. It was about ten minutes before the usual gaming session was set to begin and Hiori had hopped into the call early to stream Nier: Automata, his icon staring back at Rin, filling him with more of that disgusting uneasiness.

It was a feeling he hated having, one that had been at its worst when Sae had left. He swallowed, the frown in his features seemingly stuck there. Was it his fault that this always ended up happening? He knew he was an asshole. That was how he had always been. But someone out there had to understand that and accept it, right? For a long time he had thought that Sae might…

And Nanase seemed to think that Hiori wasn’t mad at him.

Finding out the truth was scary. Terrifying. But terror had never once turned Rin away from a challenge. If he was going to find out how Hiori had responded to their interaction earlier, he would have to suck it up and engage in the one thing he hated initiating: communication.

Pushing down the uneasiness in his gut, he gave Nanase’s message one last skim, then slipped his headphones on and joined the call.

-—-

Hiori felt a bit stupid. He knew that Rin wasn’t one to talk about his personal life. He had crossed the line. That was his own mistake and he knew it. The next time he saw Rin he would try to apologise, although he was unsure if Rin would even want to talk to him anymore.

But when he saw Rin’s icon appear on the voice call, it took him so aback that he almost died in-game.

He paused immediately. “Rin—“

“Were you mad?” Rin’s voice sounded weirdly quiet and strained.

Hiori frowned. “What?”

“Earlier, in the field…”

Hiori’s eyes widened. “Why would I be mad?”

For a moment, no response came. And then, a low sigh reverberated through his headphones.

“You’re not?”

“Rin, I overstepped,” Hiori said. “You don’t have to feel obligated to talk about anything you don’t want to around me. Hell, there’s stuff that I don’t talk about with anyone. Trust me, even if you can be blunt and sound a bit mean, I’m not about to hold it against you if you assert boundaries with me. Your honesty is more refreshing than anything.”

He hoped his words could get through even just a little bit. Could Rin have been a bit less mean spirited in his response? Of course! And in the future Hiori would assert his own boundaries of not being spoken down to. But today had been a bad day and if anything it needed to be accepted, reflected on and left in the past.

“Still joining the group tonight?” he asked, resuming playing his game.

“If you’re not mad at me then sure,” Rin replied.

Comfortable silence once again descended. Hiori slayed enemies in his game. Rin remained watching. It was an evening like any other. But then, just before the others were supposed to arrive, Rin once again let out a gruelling sigh.

"I didn't..." he started, pausing. "I didn't mean to sound so angry earlier. I'm..." another pause. "Just... if I ever talk to you like that, know I'm not mad at you or anything."

It was, admittedly, not the kind of thing Hiori had expected to hear from Rin. The one thing he was more than aware of was that Rin never apologised for anything. It had almost broken up the gaming group once when he had made Imp a bit upset over picking character options in Dead By Daylight, but Imp had gotten over it rather quickly and Rin had never once apologised. That was the way Rin was and honestly Hiori had never even expected an attempt.

But the words he had just heard were, in a way, a Rin-like apology. Not an actual 'I'm sorry', but an acknowledgement of his wrongdoing nonetheless.

The thought that someone so known for being cruel could even spare an ounce of such vulnerability to Hiori made a small smile curl onto his lips. "I'll keep that in mind," he said through a slight chuckle. "Thank you for the honesty."

About ten minutes later, Madoka showed up in the texting channel, and pretty soon both Imp and Sei had also showed up. Rather flawlessly, Hiori switched back to calling Rin ‘Owl’ and he was calling Hiori ‘Snow’. They played as if the little hiccup in the field had never happened. 

-—-

Nijiro: CODE RED CODE RED

Nijiro: RIN FUCKED UP A BIT

Nijiro: HE THINKS HIORI IS MAD AT HIM

Princess: That took what, an hour since I got here?

Princess: You’re sure they have a chance?

CrowTabi: What did Rin even do?

Nijiro: Idk the details but he told me he said smth and Hiori responded coldly to him

CrowTabi: Aah, classic Hiori

CrowTabi: I’ve done that myself a couple of times

CrowTabi: Don’t worry, he gets over it

CrowTabi: He’s incredibly forgiving

Isagi: You can say that again

Nijiro: You sure everything will be alright?

Madoka: Nanase don’t worry

Madoka: Looks like they’re talking together in Discord right now

Nijiro: Really?

Nijiro: I did tell Rin to apologise so maybe he did?

Chigiri: Fat chance of that

Isagi: Yeah I doubt it

CrowTabi: Most likely Hiori has already forgiven him

CrowTabi: Just let them be

CrowTabi: If Hiori really is mad, I’ll probably hear about it tomorrow on the way to cram school

Nijiro: Okay

Nijiro: I just hope everything will be okay between them

Madoka: If they have a bad evening tonight I’ll let you know

Madoka: But from what I'm hearing of their conversation right now, they sound as lovesick as ever

Madoka: So you seriously do not have anything to worry about

Nijiro: God I wish I was in your gaming group 😭

Nijiro: Let me in!!!!!

Madoka: Trust me, no you don’t 💀

Chapter Text

Whether it be from teachers' meddling, careful consideration, or flat out luck, Rin was sent to serve his after-school detentions under Mr Ego in the coding club. Usually, such detentions were held with whatever club the student was already a part of and they were forced to do menial tasks normally reserved for the first years, but since Rin wasn’t part of any club, he had been assigned to Mr Ego. For the next two weeks, he was expected to go to the computer lab after school every day. 

For what it was worth, it could hardly be called a ‘punishment’. At the very least, that wasn’t how Nanase viewed it in the slightest. 

He and Rin would walk to the club room together, usually having Kurona join them at some point along the way. Some days they were the last group to arrive. Sometimes Chigiri was later than them. Every day though, Hiori was always already at work on his favourite PC by the time they came through the door. Had he not been there, Nanase was half convinced that Rin would have just turned tail and gone home early.

It was incredibly obvious that Hiori was happy to see Rin, given the way he would automatically wheel out the chair next to his own and let Rin awkwardly sit down next to him. The two of them didn't even have to exchange words before Hiori got back to work writing code and they were off in their own little world of quiet.

Mr Ego did give Rin some work to do, of course. In the first few days, Rin had to go about writing his letter of apology to the principal, a task that he appeared to find so overbearingly difficult that eventually Nanase started telling him what to write. Hiori would be typing away, seemingly not paying any attention, but then if Nanase ever suggested something that sounded a little too informal or vague, he would chime in with an amendment. Of course, Rin took Hiori’s version over Nanase’s every time. 

Not that Nanase minded at all, because it was the only time in the first few days when Rin’s tense shoulders relaxed a little bit. While everyone else started talking amongst themselves about whatever gossip or drama had happened at school that day, Rin and Hiori would sit in comparative quiet in the back corner doing their own tasks. Once the day was over, they walked to the school gates together and if Hiori had cram school that day they would part ways there, Hiori joining Karasu and wandering off into town. If there was no cram school then he stuck with Rin and the two of them headed down towards the residential district together. Nanase started lingering back to watch their departures, unable to wipe the smile from his face.

After the first few days, once the apology letter had been written and sent to the principal, the detentions still kept coming but Mr Ego had relatively little to make Rin do. Since Rin was quite astute in computer science classes (something Nanase was aware of first-hand), he was never behind on school work. And so, he started doing his homework while everyone else worked on improving their video game, sitting at the back of the room next to Hiori every time. 

Nanase knew that he wasn’t the only one watching the two of them anymore. In fact, several times he caught Isagi, Kurona and Chigiri staring at the two silent boys across the room with intrigued, almost puzzled expressions. At last, these three would come to understand! This was why Nanase had wanted to bring Rin closer to his crush — this version of Rin was so different from the nasty, cold, antisocial horror who was talked about throughout the school.

“He’s so… calm?” Chigiri once whispered to Nanase while trying not to make his staring obvious. “You’re sure that’s Rin?”

“Of course it is,” Nanase rolled his eyes. “I walked here with him and everything.”

“And you’re sure an alien clone hasn’t replaced him?” asked Kurona in an equally small voice. 

“Positive,” Nanase replied.

Before anyone could continue the conversation, Rin’s gaze suddenly shifted up towards them, giving them perhaps one of the most disturbing death glares possible. That shut their mouths rather quickly. 

As the two weeks rolled on, Nanase also kept receiving updates from Niko about the gaming group. Apparently Rin and Hiori were flirting even more than before, to the point where the group's most oblivious member, ‘Sei’, had DM-ed Niko to ask if something was going on. As it turned out, when the two lovebirds were online, any subtlety they clung to in real life went out the window. The security of being ‘anonymous’ let them show off sides of themselves they might never have otherwise shown to others and it was currently manifesting in them being flirtatious in what Niko called ‘their own way’.

“They say the weirdest shit to each other, I swear,” Niko said one day at lunchtime when Nanase was joining him in his classroom. “Hiori usually starts it, saying something like ‘let me stab you. You know you want me to’. And then Rin will reply with ‘do your worst. Make me bleed’. They get really into it. At this point I’m sick of them.”

Nanase snorted. “I would never have expected Hiori to be like that,” he admitted, shovelling food into his mouth. “Rin? Yeah that tracks pretty well. Hiori? Sweet, kind, helpful Hiori? No way.”

“He’s a self-proclaimed sadist,” Niko said. “I’m serious. He calls himself that sometimes when he gets really into his role as the killer, and I’m sure it’s more than just a role-play thing. I bet he’s actually into all that sadism stuff in real life.”

“Really? Wow,” Nanase was slightly taken aback. “Well, I guess that just makes him an even better fit for Rin then.”

“The masochist himself.”

“Masochist?” 

“Well, maybe Rin's more of a sado-masochist? I don’t know, I’m not into any of that stuff,” Niko sighed. 

“Me neither,” Nanase laughed. “Well, whatever it is, I think the two of them are an even more perfect match than we could ever have expected. Hopefully they’ll actually start getting somewhere with a relationship soon.”

“I’m so tired of waiting on it,” Niko said. “Can Hiori get over his no-dating rule already?”

“Karasu will kill us if we intervene,” Nanase hung his head. “We’ve got to let it develop naturally.”

Indeed, for as much as this detention situation had brought Hiori and Rin even closer together now, they were still getting absolutely nowhere in terms of developing a romance. They stuck to each other like glue but barely shared so much as a conversation. When they walked home they seemed to do so in silence. They rarely disturbed each other at all. It was as if they enjoyed simply being in one another’s presence more than anything, which was fine for any relationship but not fine for getting one side to confess to the other.

As things were, Nanase could only hope that some time soon, preferably before Rin’s detentions ended, a shift could take place. Something needed to happen that would bring their feelings to the surface, even for just a moment. 

-—-

Imp: Meeting outside the train station right?

Madoka: Yep

Madoka: My train gets there in 5 mins

Imp: Can’t wait to see you irl

Madoka: Oh I’m sure

Imp: You okay?

Imp: This is all fine right?

Madoka: Yeah I’m good

Madoka: Just nervous coz yk

Madoka: Anonymity gone 

Imp: We agreed no photos of you

Imp: I’ll stick to that dw

Madoka: Mr Contrarian will stick to a plan?

Imp: I’m already slacking off from homework to do this

Imp: Contrarian enough for me!

Madoka: Any plans for what to do once I get to you?

Imp: Idk

Imp: We’ll just wander around doing whatever

Imp: Eat somewhere 

Imp: OH

Imp: I wanna take you to that place with the Madoka Magica collab

Madoka: Will there be merch?

Imp: Should be!

Madoka: My wallet and allowance are about to hate me

Imp: Spend away!!!

Madoka: Arriving at the station soon

Madoka: See you in 2 mins

Imp: WAITING IMPATIENTLY!!!!!

-—-

Sundays were the only day when there was neither regular school nor cram school to worry about. That didn’t mean Hiori’s day was completely free though. His parents valued his physical health as much as his academics because ‘a healthy body stimulates a healthy mind’… or something like that. And so, Sunday mornings saw Hiori doing a jog around the neighbourhood before lunch, using a health app to monitor his steps, heart rate, distance travelled and a plethora of other things that his parents liked to keep track of.

On this particular mid-morning, the air was cool and crisp, with orange and red leaves whisking up in the wind before fluttering to the ground. Hiori usually just did a circuit of his local area, weaving between the narrow alleyways and wider streets around his house. Today, however, he took a slightly different route.

Instead of taking a left from his house, he took a right. After about ten minutes, he found himself at the rice fields where he walked to and from school. Jogging up the path for a short while, he came to where he and Rin had started saying goodbye to each other every day, where a gate separated the fields from the buildings.

It was an area of the district he had never explored before, being too concerned that his parents might chastise him if he got lost and ended up coming home late. But today, a curiosity was burning inside him, needing to be satisfied.

What does Rin’s neighbourhood look like?

He went through the gate, continuing to jog with the Geometry Dash soundtrack playing in his earphones.

As he made his way into this unfamiliar area of town, he was surprised at the fact that the houses looked bigger and nicer than his own. His family was rather well off and their house was in a pretty expensive area, however this neighbourhood was clearly for families with a lot of money. Most of the houses even had passcode-locked gates! There were, of course, plenty of small businesses too. Corner stores, restaurants, beauty parlours, they all nestled themselves between the fancy houses, some looking almost out of place compared to the larger homes.

Just as Hiori headed onto a wider street lined with several small shops, he suddenly stopped. Walking in his direction, with a shopping bag filled with what looked like snacks, was Rin.

He had a bulky pair of wireless headphones over his ears, his eyes downcast, avoiding looking at people, and his outfit was an all-black hoodie and jogging pants, a stark contrast to Hiori’s own pale blue and white tracksuit. He hadn’t noticed Hiori standing at the end of the street, so Hiori quickly swallowed the surprise of seeing him there, paused his music and trotted over.

“Hey,” he smiled, waving a hand once he closed the gap between them somewhat. “Rin?”

Rin startled. He seemed to try his best to not let it show but the way his steps faltered and his eyes widened was unmissable. It was honestly rather cute. Hiori couldn’t help but smile at it.

Pulling his headphones down around his neck, Rin scowled. “What are you doing here?”

“Morning jog,” Hiori shoved his hands in his pockets. The chill of autumn was getting to him now that he had stopped exercising. “I’m trying a new route.”

“Okay…” Rin was quiet for a moment. “So you’re not stalking me?”

“Wha—“ 

Well… so perhaps this was a little bit stalkerish. Hiori hadn’t been intending to find Rin himself here today but he had fully come to this neighbourhood only because Rin lived here. And he would never admit it out loud but in middle school he had ended up stalking Karasu once, back when he had been crushing on Karasu like crazy. Perhaps this was a little habit he needed to learn to get over. But still, actually meeting Rin right this second wasn't something he had been expecting at all.

“I didn’t mean anything like that,” Hiori shook his head profusely. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you.” He was about to awkwardly leave but then Rin suddenly spluttered something.

“No—“ he quickly clamped his mouth shut. 

Hiori stopped. “You good?”

Rin’s face was dusted with a hint of blush and he was staring at the floor, his grip on his shopping bag like iron. “I…” he was trying to speak but for some reason he kept stopping himself. 

Hiori couldn’t help but chuckle, watching the struggle with amusement. It satisfied a part of him that was usually only satiated during gaming sessions. Rin struggling to communicate was, in fact, another thing to love about him. 

“My house is this way,” Rin then managed to grumble, pushing past Hiori and speed-walking down the street.

“Huh?” Hiori was following after him before he could stop himself.

“My house,” Rin repeated, almost looking annoyed were it not for the red in his face, “is this way.”

It was Hiori’s turn to be surprised. “You’re inviting me over? Right now?”

“If you don’t want to come, then go away.”

“I want to, it’s just,” Hiori jogged up alongside Rin, “I didn’t think you’d ever offer something like that to anyone, let alone to me.”

Rin went quiet again. “I don’t offer this to anyone,” he said. “So count yourself lucky and be grateful for it.”

Hiori smiled, his chest fluttering. He clasped his hands behind his back. “I can’t stay long or Mom and Dad will kill me,” he sighed, “but I’ll gladly take this opportunity. My kindest regards,” he said in a jokingly formal tone.

Rin rolled his eyes. “Don’t try me or you’re not getting in.”

“I like pushing my luck. It’s fun.”

“You are insufferable sometimes.”

“You like it though.”

To that, Rin once again clamped his mouth shut, the red in his cheeks deepening. This was incredibly fun for Hiori, pushing Rin’s buttons in just the right ways to make him react while still being on his good side. The two of them continued to walk side by side, heading deeper into the labyrinth of massive houses, a cool wind enveloping them as they made their way to Rin’s home.

Chapter Text

Rin’s house was fancy to say the least. While it wasn’t the largest in the neighbourhood, he still punched a number into a code lock before showing Hiori into a well-kept, private front garden. The outside world seemed to disappear when Hiori stepped inside the walls, now enclosed in a far more solitary space.

So, this was where the Itoshi family lived?

The house itself was modern in design with a sleek, angular exterior all rendered in monochrome, not a hint of colour in sight. It looked as though it had at least three storeys and perhaps even a roof garden on its flat top. It was definitely larger than Hiori’s own home.

A part of Hiori still wanted to turn around and go back to his own house. His parents would start getting antsy if he stayed out for too long and they would no doubt have an entire lecture planned for him once he arrived back. While other people his age were more than used to occasionally rebelling against their parents, sneaking out after dark or spending more and more time with friends and lovers, it was a world Hiori was still completely unfamiliar with. The mere act of coming to a place like this, to a friend’s house, was more than anything he had let himself do before. He hadn’t even humoured such rebellion with Karasu.

His crush was, it seemed, pathetically potent, making him do things he normally wouldn't even have thought of. 

“You don’t have to stay long,” Rin mumbled as he pushed open the front door, which had also required a passcode to open. “Just… fuck, why are we even here?”

“Because you live here?” Hiori said, following Rin inside and toeing off his running shoes. “And you invited me.”

Rin looked as though he was half way between humiliated and terrified. It was perhaps the strangest look Hiori had seen on him in the entire two weeks they had been getting to know each other in real life. Most certainly it didn’t match a single demeanour he had expressed online. This side of Rin was so novel to be able to experience. Hiori couldn’t help but love discovering every facet of his crush’s personality, be it the good, the bad or the ugly. To Hiori, all sides of Rin were beautiful in their own, twisted ways.

The interior was just as sleek as the exterior, with polished floors and the overhead lights bathing the black, white and grey walls and furniture in a far more welcoming, warm glow. Unsure of what to do, Hiori simply followed Rin through to what appeared to be the living room, where to his surprise a middle-aged woman with greying, wine-red hair was sitting in an armchair doing work on some sort of tablet. 

“I’m home,” Rin grumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets.

The woman didn’t look up from her work. “No incidents?” she asked, her tone somewhat agitated.

“No,” Rin sounded like he would rather be anywhere else. “Brought someone over. Don’t disturb us.”

At the sound of that, the woman’s head suddenly shot up from her tablet. She eyed Rin for a moment, then her gaze flickered to Hiori. She looked so strangely frantic, as if Hiori’s presence was a disturbance. She almost seemed frightened, although perhaps that was a bit too strong a term to describe her expression.

Not knowing what else to do, Hiori gave a modest bow. “Hello,” he said, “I’m Hiori Yo, a second year from Rin’s high school. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

He looked back up. The woman’s face had somewhat softened now. She stood up herself, abandoning her tablet on the seat behind her, and she bowed back. “Pleasure to meet you,” she said, half-surprised, “I’m Rin’s mother. You can call me Itoshi.”

“Nice to meet you, Mrs Itoshi,” Hiori said. He had figured that was probably who she was.

Once again, his words seemed to surprise Mrs Itoshi. She looked at her son again, then back at Hiori, then cleared her throat. ‘Well, umm,” she said, “please make yourself at home. If you have any issues, let me know. I apologise for any problems you might have. I’m sure you know how my son can be.”

At Hiori's side, Rin clenched his fist tightly around his shopping bag, making the plastic material crumple audibly.

“Nothing to worry about,” Hiori shook his head with a small smile. “We’ve been friends for a while now. I think I know him pretty well.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” Mrs Itoshi laughed awkwardly. “Well, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”

Before the conversation could continue any further, Rin was already turning on his heel and heading for a staircase down the hall. “Come on,” he hissed.

Somewhat startled, Hiori dipped into one final bow for Mrs Itoshi. “Thank you for having me.” He then hurried off after Rin. The last thing he saw of Rin’s mother was a stare that almost seemed to brim with shock… but also relief?

"She probably thought you were a gang member or something," Rin muttered.

"No way," Hiori rolled his eyes. "With my face?"

"I doubt she thinks I could ever get close to anyone else..."

Hiori frowned at that. Mrs Itoshi had been a bit frantic, yes, but she still seemed nice enough. At least, she was completely different from Hiori’s own mother. No doubt if Hiori had brought Rin home, his own mother would have politely asked Rin to leave immediately, and then yelled at Hiori for daring to invite someone over after the front door had closed. It had always been a fact of life that Hiori wasn’t allowed to have friends over, in fact his parents preferred him to not have friends at all. That was the whole reason why they had introduced him to video games when he was young — to keep him quiet, alone and distracted from ever wanting to make real life friends. 

Their plan had certainly backfired, and Hiori revelled in that reality.

Still, even though Rin’s mother was more welcoming and accepting of the friendship than Hiori’s mother ever would be, after some thought there was still a twinge of something sour lingering under the surface. It was obvious that something was going on in this family, creating tension that wasn’t spoken out loud but instead pulled itself taught between Rin and his mother. Was it the same with his father too? 

Hiori wouldn’t pry. He never would. That was a boundary long-established between Rin and himself and he was happy to uphold it, but if the time ever came when Rin did want to talk about the strain he seemed to be under in regards to his family, Hiori would be there to listen to every word.

Much like the rest of the house, Rin’s bedroom was large. It was so large in fact that Hiori could have sworn it was a double-bedroom made for siblings. There was only one bed though, so the extra floor space was simply empty, covered with a large, black rug to give the space a semblance of use. Other than that there was a desk with a decent computer setup, a bookshelf with Rin’s school things, a cabinet with a TV on top of it opposite the bed, riddled with video games consoles, and a wardrobe that took up much of the wall space next to the door. The curtains were drawn across what looked like a rather large window, and Rin had flicked the lights on instead of letting any Sunday morning sunlight filter in.

“Just sit wherever,” he said, slumping down into his swivelling desk chair next to his computer.

Hiori decided to perch modestly on the end of Rin’s bed. He still didn’t really know what he was meant to be doing here. The invite had come so out of nowhere and the nagging worry that his parents would be angry still lingered in the back of his mind. 

“Your Mom’s nice,” he said, lacing his fingers together in his lap.

“She just never knows when to close her mouth,” Rin sighed. “If she felt she could, she’d probably go on a whole tirade about how unfortunate you are for knowing me.”

That was rather harsh. “I don’t think I’m unfortunate for knowing you. Why would she think that?”

“Because it’s probably true.”

“How so?”

“Because I’m a problem.”

That was an absolute lie. Rin was one of the best things that had ever happened to Hiori. Before the gaming group, his life had been so miserable. So lonely. He had only ever had Karasu, and that relationship could never quite untangle itself from the expectations of mathematical prowess. That fateful meeting while playing Dad By Daylight several months ago had been, without a doubt, the thing that had saved Hiori from unescapable despair.

And yet, Rin seemed so sure that he was a bad person. He wasn’t one to make jokes, especially not about things like this, and right now he was glaring at the floor with such a serious expression. This had to be something more than just a personal insecurity. Given the way his mother had been acting downstairs, this was more likely a complex that had been drilled into him for a long, long time. Months? Years? His whole life? It didn’t matter. Any amount of time spent thinking something like that was too long.

“Rin,” Hiori stood up and tentatively walked over, “come on, don’t say stuff like that. Meeting you has meant so much to me. You, the gaming group, the coding club, all of you are important. If anything, I’m lucky to have met you. My nights playing games with you, talking on call, listening to you go on about horror, I’d never trade that for anything. Whatever you think about yourself, I don’t think that, okay? You’re my friend and your Mom being passive-aggressive isn’t going to make me suddenly change my tune.”

He didn’t have a clue where such a spiel had come from. His crush perhaps? He was so used to being brief in his words, never saying more than he had to. But Rin’s expression had been so hurt just now that his mind had kept forming word after word, reaching out in some desperate attempt to get the point across that no, Rin wasn’t a bad person like he seemed to believe. 

And Rin stared back in response. He said nothing, his eyes wide, those beautiful teal irises almost seeming to glisten. His mouth opened, then shut, then opened again as if he were trying to form a reply but none came to him. 

“I get what it’s like having a... tough relationship with your parents,” Hiori stepped a bit closer. “Well, sorta. You’ve heard my Mom screaming at my Dad a few times over call because I didn’t do well enough at school. She’s so—“

“Owls…” Rin murmured.

Hiori frowned. “Huh?”

As if a switch had suddenly been flicked, red blush clawed up Rin’s entire face. His eyes widened even more. He swivelled around in his chair and looked away, hunching over his desk in some poor attempt to hide himself. “Nothing,” he snarled.

Hiori raised an eyebrow, the conversation about parents now completely forgotten. “No, you definitely said ‘owls’. I’m not deaf.”

“Forget it.”

“Well I’m interested now. Owls?”

“It’s stupid.”

Hiori wandered closer, a smile now curling onto his lips. He leaned over the chair, looming over Rin’s shoulder. “Tell me. I won’t find it stupid. Promise.”

For a moment, Rin did nothing. Then, he let out a deep sigh, hiding his face in his hands for a brief moment before resting them on the desk, refusing to turn around. The tips of his ears were still pink enough to give away the heat in his face though. “When you were speaking just then…” he murmured, “… your eyes looked like an owl’s.”

It was Hiori’s turn to have his face heat up with blush. It was like a shock of adrenaline, his heart fluttering in his chest and his entire body tensing. 

Rin was looking at my eyes? he thought.

Rin was thumbing something in his hands. Taking a closer look, Hiori realised it was a small paperweight in the shape of an owl. In fact, a proper glance over his desk revealed a whole host of owl-themed paraphernalia, from erasers to notebooks to mechanical pencils, pretty much all of his stationary was related to owls in some way. And a quick check around the room provided even more owl-related things. A hoodie. A framed piece of childhood artwork. Even one of the pillows on his otherwise completely black bed had small, grey silhouettes of owls on them. 

There was also, of course, his gamer tag and discord name.

“You really do love owls, huh?” Hiori couldn’t help but chuckle. “Cute.”

“What?”

“I mean—“ the word ‘cute’ had slipped out without thinking, “I mean, it’s cool that you have something you’re so passionate about.”

“It’s just a dumb interest. Mom and Dad find it weird.”

Hiori’s brow creased. “It’s not weird at all. It looks way more fun than dumb mathematics or a video games addiction.”

Rin snorted at that, swivelling back around in his chair to face Hiori fully. “My family would take those over owls any day.”

“And I would take owls over mathematics for anything.”

The way Rin was staring at him really did make it seem as though he wasn’t used to people appreciating his interests. Had anyone ever let him indulge in them without disapproval before? Hiori didn’t know, and as usual he wouldn’t pry. 

It had been a little while now, about fifteen minutes. Much longer out of the house and his parents would throw a fit once he arrived back home. However, there was something solidifying inside Hiori’s gut now, a core of something rebellious. If Rin could live his life being scorned by his parents and he still managed to let his interests in, would it be so bad to try doing the same? Just this once? Hiori could always just say he got lost or had to go to a far off convenience store to stock up on Yakult because the local one had run out.

“Hey, Rin?” he said quietly. “If you wanna talk about owls for a bit, I can stay and listen.”

It was a bold request, at least to himself it was. As he said the words, his heart hammered against his ribs and a part of his mind screamed that it was wrong. Forbidden. But he sealed his mouth in a tight line, clenched his fists at his sides and stared directly at the boy opposite him who was filling him with a determination he had never felt before.

And Rin seemed completely taken aback. “Your parents—“

“Fuck that, I need to get out of the house for a bit,” Hiori shook his head. “I hate it there. I’d much rather be here with you. So come on,” He walked backwards and flopped himself down on Rin’s bed, “tell me everything. I wanna be an owl expert by the end of this.”

Whatever consequences he was about to face for this, he would take them. This was the one time in his life when he had decided he wanted to do something for himself. Whether that be because he couldn’t stand the thought of going home or because his crush on Rin was too strong to let him leave here, it didn’t matter to him. All he wanted right now was to hear Rin’s voice, take in the scent of Rin’s bedroom, and dispel from his mind all the mathematics equations and formulas he’d be forced to look at that evening.

Chapter Text

Rin didn’t remember the last time he had talked to someone this much. It had to have been at least two years. As a child, he had often found himself rambling fun facts about owls to Sae but ever since Sae had gone to university, that regular ability to converse had disappeared, and then their relationship had soured so much that even if the opportunity arose again, he wouldn't take it. It had been so long since he had been able to talk about his favourite animal that, at first, he struggled to form sentences that could possibly provide compelling information. 

But Hiori was listening to him. He wasn’t just listening, he was watching intently, a glimmer of genuine interest in his large, round eyes. And those eyes were so incredibly owl-like that, after a while, Rin had to look away from them. It was near-impossible to concentrate on the words spilling from his mouth whenever their gazes locked. 

It was so strange; Rin had never felt this way about anyone before. Not even about Sae. This feeling was so weirdly visceral, hot like a flame burning in the pits of Rin’s gut, the smoke rising in his chest and making his heart race. It was messing with his mind as if it were a narcotic, making him constantly want to focus his attention on Hiori’s eyes, his slightly blushing cheeks, his water-coloured hair, his smiling lips—

Owls. That was the point of this discussion! Not Hiori’s indescribable beauty. 

But that’s what Hiori was to Rin — beautiful! In fact, he thought many things about his friend and no one else. Hiori was beautiful, kind, caring, smart, exciting, fun to play games with, and perhaps most interestingly, certain aspects of his demeanour brought with them a familiar twinge of nostalgia. It was as if being in his presence returned Rin to a time before everything had gone wrong between himself and Sae, when Rin had felt content with his own eccentricities. In those days, he had been free, knowing there was someone who was there for him no matter what.

It was this comfort, this warmth, that spurred him on to talk to Hiori for longer and longer, reciting everything he could remember about owls. And the entire time, Hiori kept listening, not interrupting unless to ask a follow-on question, opening more rabbit-holes of obscure information to explain. They talked about everything from how many eggs barn owls laid to how deep into flesh an eagle owl’s talons could scratch. The killing patterns of great grey owls, the territories of little owls, even the mating habits of tawny owls — they discussed everything with the utmost seriousness.

It was only interrupted by a swift knock on the bedroom door.

Rin halted his tongue mid-sentence. He could feel the way his face fell, twisting into a scowl that was no doubt so much more dower than whatever expression he had been showing moments before. 

“Yeah?” he asked in response to the knocks.

The door then creaked open and his mother poked her head inside. “Sorry to bother,” she said with an apologetic franticness that was skin-crawling to hear. “I was just wondering if Hiori was planning to stay for lunch?”

On the bed, Hiori visibly stiffened. 

“He has to leave soon,” Rin grumbled. He hated that he wouldn’t be able to do this for much longer.

“Oh?” his mother raised an eyebrow.

“Actually…” Hiori’s voice then piped up, “if the offer is available, I’d be happy to stay.”

The confusion in Rin’s mother’s expression deepened. “You're sure?”

“Very,” Hiori smiled. “I’d love to, if you’ll have me?”

“Of course,” Rin’s mother nodded with a surprising amount of enthusiasm. “There’s leftovers from last night in the fridge. Just help yourselves.”

And with that, she closed the door and her footsteps disappeared down the hallway outside. Rin could hear the pep in her step, the sort of thing only noticeable to someone who had lived around her for so long. She was in a better mood than usual… for some reason.

“Your parents are about to kill you,” he said to Hiori.

“If I’m gonna die, I wanna have this freedom for just a little bit longer,” Hiori sighed, flopping onto his back and staring at the ceiling. “Not gonna let myself get used to it, but at least I can enjoy it for a little while.”

Rin frowned. “You’re sure?”

With me? his thoughts added.

Hiori grinned. “Who else would I do it with?”

“The coding club… Your third year friend.”

“But they all live on the other side of town. I could never meet them out of school like I can with you.”

“Oh...” Rin's shoulders slumped. “So I’m just convenient?”

Hiori’s ears reddened. It was cute, in a way, when he was embarrassed. “I didn’t mean it like that!” He said quickly. “What I meant is— well… I’m too hungry for this. Your Mom said there was leftovers?”

In fairness, Rin himself was also rather hungry at the moment. He hadn’t eaten breakfast that day, presuming he would have eaten the bag of candies from the convenience store which had been sitting unattended next to his chair this entire time. Whatever, he could eat them later, perhaps even share them with Hiori?

“Come on,” he stood, heading for the door. “We had curry last night.”

“Nice,” Hiori got up himself. “I only had a fish salad and miso soup with tofu.”

-—-

This family was so… different. Hiori thought that to himself over and over as he stood in the kitchen eating his bowl of microwaved leftovers. Rin’s mother barely ever came into the room, let alone taking any interest in what either of the two boys were doing. Had Hiori been at his own home, his mother would have been fussing over his food portion sizes or the fact that he was wearing his tracksuit around the house. It was odd to see Rin’s mother be so disinterested in her son.

Was it a good thing or a bad thing that she seemed to keep her distance?

On the one hand, it must be nice for Rin to be able to exist within the house and do whatever he wanted. He seemed to walk around as if no one cared where he stepped. He was free. But on the other hand, there was an undeniable tension in the air. It would be too much to say that Mrs Itoshi was flat out afraid of her son, that would be stretching it, but she was cautious of him. It was as if she were trying not to say or do something that would send Rin into an uncontrollable rage.

Thinking back to the fight at school, Rin had gone into a blind, destructive fury, unconsolable until a switch had flipped in his brain and he’d been able to grapple with his anger. What was it like living everyday with him? Were some days better than others? Had he been like this all his life?

Hiori glanced over at Rin, who was leaning against the kitchen counter, spooning some rice out of a rice cooker into a bowl and topping it with the reheated curry. He didn’t seem angry or destructive right now. If anything he seemed rather calm.

On some level though, Hiori knew that he was being biased in his thoughts and assessment of this family. He envied that Rin could be so open in his desire to destroy. It was a luxury not offered in the Hiori household, where life was so strictly controlled and such bursts of anger would only be met with harsh punishment. Hiori loved that Rin was destructive, that he could set his own boundaries, and that he could cultivate the life he wanted for himself. But how much of this was Hiori’s own worldview getting in the way of things?

“Are you okay?” he ended up asking absentmindedly.

Rin looked over at him. “Yeah?”

“Sorry,” Hiori shook his head, “it’s just… am I the first person you’ve ever invited over?”

A slight frown settled into Rin’s features. “How did you know?”

“Just a hunch,” Hiori shrugged. “I feel honoured.”

“Why?”

“Well, this is actually the first time I’ve been over to someone else’s house,” Hiori smiled awkwardly. “I guess this is a first for both of us.”

Rin was quiet for a moment. “You would’ve gone to other people’s houses if your parents had let you though…” he eventually said after a while.

“Perhaps. But that’s just a hypothetical. Considering the way reality ended up being, I’m glad that the first person's house I could come to was yours.”

It was the truth. While it would have been fun to go to Isagi’s house, Karasu’s, or Nanase’s, being able to see Rin here, like this, was so strange that it felt like a privilege. More than that though, it had sparked a longing inside Hiori, making him ponder a reality in which he could do this again.

As things were, he never would be able to do this again.

He didn't stay much longer after lunch. He had already spent so much time away from home that his mind was steeling itself for a punishment the moment he walked through his front door. While the nasty words of his parents would fade away into a mist of general disappointment that Hiori was used to experiencing when they were upset with him, bracing for the initial impact was always tough. It happened whenever he scored too low on a test, or when he wasn’t picked to represent the school in mathematics competitions. 

“See you tonight?” Rin asked as Hiori checked himself over, making sure he hadn’t forgotten anything.

Hiori shrugged. “I’ll probably be grounded. Don’t expect me to be able to get online tonight.”

“Your parents have never taken your equipment away from you before.”

“No, but I won’t be allowed online until I’ve finished a ton of math exercises, plus I’ll probably have a super early curfew. If I can come online it’ll only be for an hour or so.”

Rin’s face darkened at the sound of that. “Fuck your parents,” he muttered.

It was nice for Hiori to have someone on his side in all of this. Karasu was too, but Karasu’s support was always ways of coping within the current situation, not a way to temporarily escape it and live outside of its confines. If Hiori were a bird and his life were a cage, then Karasu was a bird sitting right outside the bars, a friend to make him feel better within the restriction. Rin in contrast was a bird flying free in the sky outside, as were the gaming group, the coding club, everyone else he knew. Sometimes they would come to the bars of the cage, perhaps interact with the prisoner inside, but they had the option to fly away at the end of the day.

Hiori did envy it. He couldn’t fly free. But he would appreciate the freedom his friends had and be grateful that they could live they ways they wanted to. That was as far as he could go. 

The two of them headed into the downstairs hallway. Near the front door, a black mantlepiece sat with several photos on it that Hiori hadn’t bothered to look at before. They were typical photos for a family such as this. Days out. Childhood highlights. But upon closer inspection, there was a fourth figure in the pictures, beyond just Rin and his parents — a boy with deep, red hair and eyes with exactly the same lashes as Rin’s. 

There were several photos of him at different stages of his life, some with Rin but many on his own too. A young child kicking a football around a field. A young teenager in a fancy suit holding up some sort of award trophy. The entire family posing at the large train station in central Kyoto, the red-haired boy wheeling a suitcase and wearing a hoodie with ‘Tokyo U’ embroidered on the front in giant, bold letters. That particular picture caught Hiori’s attention because out of all of them, it was the only picture where Rin had the ghost of a smile on his face.

A hand stretched out, flipping the photo frame down onto the mantlepiece, hiding it from view. “Family can fucking suck,” he said. “If you can’t be online tonight, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Hiori blinked. Whatever was going on in this family, he hadn't uncovered all the layers, it seemed. He wouldn’t ask about it. This was clearly something Rin should only talk about if, or when, he felt comfortable.

“You’re still gonna come to coding club?” Hiori asked. “Your detention ends soon.”

“I still have to come tomorrow, don’t I?” Rin replied.

“I guess,” Hiori chuckled. “Well, in that case, see you either tonight or tomorrow. I can assure you my mood will be terrible.”

He meant it as a joke but Rin’s expression in response seemed genuinely bitter. “If I ever meet your parents, they’re dead.”

Hiori couldn't quite bring himself to admit out loud just how much he appreciated hearing someone express the violence he wished towards his mother and father in his heart. “I’d sit back and watch it happen,” he went with. He then stepped out of the front door and headed for the gate. "See you."

The last he saw of Rin before disappearing around the corner was those lovely teal eyes watching him go, never once diverting their gaze.

-—-

Owl: Nanase

Nijiro: Hi!

Owl: I need your help

Nijiro: Oh?

Nijiro: Whatever it is, I’ll try my best

Owl: Actually no, this is really stupid

Nijiro: No it’s not

Owl: You don’t even know what it is

Nijiro: Well I know you and I know you don’t do stupid things 

Nijiro: Most of the time...

Nijiro: Not counting all those fights you get in

Nijiro: Or the... lacking social skills

Nijiro: Whatever

Nijiro: Come on, spill

Nijiro: Even if I can’t help, I might be able to point you somewhere 

Owl: If you tell anyone, and I mean ANYONE, you’re dead 

Owl: Got it?

Nijiro: My lips are sealed

Nijiro: Pinky promise

Owl: I’m serious

Nijiro: So am I

Owl: Okay

Owl: Don’t you dare laugh at me

Nijiro: I’d never dare

Nijiro: And you do kinda sound like you’re stalling rn

Owl: Shut up

Owl: I’m getting to it

(Owl is typing)

Nijiro: You’ve been typing on and off for like 5 minutes

Nijiro: Is this really serious?

Owl: No

Owl: Yes

Owl: I don’t fucking know

Nijiro: It’s okay if you don’t want to talk abt it

Owl: No I have to

Owl: It’s been on my mind all day

Owl: It won’t fucking go away

Owl: So yes I do have to say it

Nijiro: Go ahead

Owl: Okay

Owl: ...

Owl: I think I have a crush on Hiori

Chapter Text

Nijiro: Have you been hacked?

Owl: Fuck off

Owl: Forget it

Owl: I knew this was stupid

Owl: If you tell anyone about this, you’re so dead

Nijiro: No no, sorry

Nijiro: I just didn’t expect something like this

Nijiro: Not from you at least

Nijiro: Okay

Nijiro: Reality is settling in

Nijiro: You like Hiori

Nijiro: Romantically?

Owl: Yes that’s what I said

Owl: Now help me

Nijiro: ?

Owl: I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to be doing right now

Owl: You’re good with this sort of thing

Owl: So do something about it

Nijiro: You think I’m good?!

Nijiro: Is that a compliment I just read???

Owl: Seriously if you don’t shut up right now I’ll block you

Nijiro: Okay right apologies

Nijiro: So

Nijiro: What sort of help do you want?

Nijiro: Help confessing? Organising a date? How to put an arm around Hiori’s shoulders without him noticing?

Owl: How to deal with these stupid fucking feelings

Nijiro: Oh yeah

Nijiro: Good place to start

Nijiro: For you

Owl: What’s that supposed to mean?

Nijiro: Well I just think baby steps would probably be best for you

Nijiro: Accepting your feelings can be a scary time

Owl: I accept that I have them, I just don’t WANT to have them

Nijiro: You don’t?

Owl: Hiori is the first proper friend I’ve ever made

Owl: I hope you’re not too stupid to realise that I’m bad at the whole friendships thing

Nijiro: I had my suspicions

Owl: So yeah, I finally have someone like Hiori in my life

Owl: This is so dumb but…

Owl: I don’t want it to go away

Owl: What if I just mess up and say the wrong thing and he hates me forever?

Nijiro: I seriously doubt Hiori would be like that

Nijiro: He knows you’re blunt and bad with words

Nijiro: He’s never held it against you before

Owl: But this is different

Owl: You never know how people will react when things change in a relationship

Owl: You think someone will always be there for you and then suddenly they aren’t anymore

Owl: And they hate you

Nijiro: Rin

Owl: So what if Hiori finds out I like him and distances himself?

Owl: I don’t want that

Owl: But these stupid fucking feelings keep getting into my head

Nijiro: Rin let me finish please

Owl: If I let this crush continue I’ll just end up fucking up

Owl: And Hiori will hate me

Owl: Just like everyone else

Owl: And I don’t give a flying fuck about what any of you lukewarm idiots think of me but Hiori has become an exception

Nijiro: Listen, I hear you, I understand and I empathise

Nijiro: This sounds like it’s all a lot for you to deal with

Nijiro: Thank you for trusting me enough to be so honest

Nijiro: That’s a massive step!

Owl: Quit it with the empty words of support

Nijiro: They're not empty words

Nijiro: Genuinely I think it’s so good that you were able to put some of these feelings into words and tell me

Nijiro: It’s difficult to do something like that

Nijiro: So don’t beat yourself up over not being able to understand all the feelings you have right now

Nijiro: Everyone struggles with it to different degrees

Nijiro: And you just happen to struggle with it a lot

Nijiro: You’re going to be okay

Owl: What does this have to do with anything?

Nijiro: Well

Nijiro: You seem to want me to help you get rid of these feelings more than anything 

Owl: Obviously

Nijiro: But from my perspective, I think it would be good to nurture the feelings instead

Nijiro: Let them blossom

Nijiro: Maybe even confess one day?

Owl: Okay I’m done talking to you

Owl: No way in hell

Owl: Fuck you

Nijiro: Just listen to me

Nijiro: You wanted my advice right?

Owl: Not if it’s stupid

Nijiro: I’m just giving my perspective as someone who has far more experience with this sort of thing

Nijiro: No offence, but you’re not the most social person

Nijiro: Besides, Hiori is my friend too

Nijiro: And I’ve known him longer than you 

Nijiro: And I’m friends with a lot of his other friends 

Nijiro: I think my opinions here are trustworthy

Owl: …

Owl: Okay

Owl: I’ll listen

Owl: But ONLY until I think you’re being too insufferable

Nijiro: Thank you

Nijiro: Don’t worry

Nijiro: I get that it’s hard for you

Nijiro: I don’t hold it against you

Owl: If you have something to say, get on with it

Owl: Stop wasting my time

Nijiro: Okay 

Nijiro: So you have a crush on Hiori

Nijiro: Here’s what I think we should do about it

-—-

A part of Nanase couldn’t believe he was typing the words spilling from his fingertips. He hadn’t expected Rin to be self-aware enough to actually acknowledge the feelings he clearly harboured for Hiori, and yet here the guy was practically spilling his guts for Nanase to see. Another part of Nanase was also quite prideful that out of everyone in the coding club or gaming group, he himself was the one who Rin had come to for advice. Most likely the first choice would have been Hiori but… well, Hiori wasn’t exactly a viable option this time around.

In all honesty, a part of Nanase had been preparing to never get this far. Rin falling in love with Hiori and Hiori returning the feelings had been a recent pet project, sure, but it had only been a hypothetical that it would ever get beyond the two of them mutually pining for each other while keeping a respectable distance. 

As Nanase continued to type, he remembered Karasu’s words — do not get directly involved. But this was allowed to be an exception, right? Rin had reached out for help first! This wasn’t Nanase barging in where he didn’t belong, it was him helping his friend come to terms with a very obvious crush.

Sorry, Karasu, he thought as he sent another message to Rin in DMs. Rin wanted this, not me.

He wouldn’t mention that Hiori definitely returned the romantic feelings. That was confidential information that Karasu had revealed to the group chat in an attempt to stop everyone from forcing Hiori and Rin together. But what Nanase would mention was that Hiori cared for Rin a lot, to the point that even if he were to reject a confession, he wouldn’t suddenly become cold towards Rin or try to break off their friendship. Sure, he might distance himself for a few days while the reveal wore off, but after that he would be happy to stay being just friends. 

It was a difficult sentiment to get into Rin’s head. The more Nanase typed, the more he suspected that someone, at some point, had burned Rin very badly, making him very untrusting of the relationships he was able to kindle in the present. Nanase wasn’t the smartest person around but his memory did briefly flash back to the first time he had tried speaking to Rin. The mere mention of Itoshi Sae had been enough to get himself slammed into a wall of lockers. Did that have something to do with Rin’s current distrust of the bond he was forging with Hiori?

Did Itoshi Sae do something to make Rin this cold? Nanase couldn’t help but wonder.

Still, no matter who it was who Rin kept thinking of, he had to stop. Hiori wasn’t this mysterious other person. He was Hiori Yo. And besides, with just a bit more pushing on Hiori’s end, any sort of confession would hopefully be accepted! The feelings were, as far as literally everyone in the group chat was concerned, completely mutual. Hiori simply had a complex around dating for his own private reasons that Karasu hadn’t divulged. With any luck, that complex could be remedied. 

And so, Nanase kept texting Rin. He would make it his mission to be here for Rin now that the guy had actually reached out while having a crisis. And he wouldn’t just help over text. He would help at school too.

-—-

Hiori had heard his parents shout at him many times before but the lecture he received that afternoon upon arriving home was one of the most scathing in a long time. His mother screamed. His father yelled. They took his phone away and went through his messages to make sure he wasn’t trying to meet up with anyone outside school or cram school (luckily Hiori deleted his Discord app when he wasn’t using it). When they found nothing suspicious, they shut his phone away in a drawer and said he could have it back once he had finished his cram school revision.

The door to his bedroom was locked and he was trapped outside of it, away from his computer, downstairs at the dining room table, answering questions on trigonometric identities and polynomials — the two areas of mathematics he despised the most. After his mother had finished her day’s work in her office upstairs, she came down and sat opposite him, asking him questions off flash cards which he then had to answer instantly. 

“cos(x) = -0.3,” she snipped with her usual sharpness. “If x and y are complementary, what is sin(y)?”

“-0.3,” Hiori muttered.

“Correct. Why?”

“Because the cosine of an angle is the same as the sine of the compliment of the same angle.”

It went on for hours, unending. Worksheet after worksheet. Page after page. His father slammed down a gigantic, thousand-page textbook on the table next to Hiori and told him he would have to complete at least twenty pages before he could get his phone back. One look in this oh-too-familiar textbook showed that the pages in question had forty problems each. 

Looks like I’m not gonna see my phone for a week… Hiori scowled. 

He hated this. He hated everything his parents put him through, all because back during their own high school and college days they hadn’t been able to be the genius, breakout mathematicians who Hollywood directors would make movies about in fifty years’ time. They were just second rate, not smart enough to be counted among the best, and so as a result their son now faced the brunt of their bitterness. He was nothing more than the tool by which they could live out their ridiculous fantasies. 

‘If csc (θ) = 13/5 and 0° < θ < 90°, what is sin (θ)?’

He hated this.

‘If cos (θ) = 12/13 and 0° < θ < 90°, what is tan (θ)?’

He fucking hated this.

‘If sec (θ) = 5/4 and 0° < θ < 90°, what is cot (θ)?’

Disgusting!

He wanted to scream. To hurl his notes everywhere. To shoot his parents where they were sitting at the table opposite him, currently drilling him with problems while he was already drowning in exercises. He wanted to run to Karasu and complain about everything he was being forced to do. He wanted to be in the coding club, typing away code while the others gossiped and laughed together in the background. He wanted to play Dead By Daylight, hunting down everyone else in his gaming group and slaughtering them mercilessly. 

He wanted Rin to save him, to punch and kick and claw at this awful, invisible entity anchoring him down to the stupid life he was being forced to live. Why couldn’t he be back in Rin’s bedroom talking about owls? There had been consoles plugged into Rin’s TV — they could have played games together. And eaten dinner. And maybe Hiori could have stayed the night? He had never been to a sleepover before. Would he sleep on a futon on the floor? Or would Rin make room for him in his giant, king-sized bed that had been more than large enough for two people? Just the mere thought of it planted ideas of hugging Rin close in his sleep, wrapping his arms around Rin's torso, breathing in his scent, clinging to him like a barnacle to a rock until dawn.

Indeed, Hiori wanted many things. He wanted freedom. He wanted destruction. He wanted Rin. He wanted his parents dead in their seats while he ran away from this hell hole of a house…

But he kept his mouth shut. His body motionless. He only spoke to answer questions like a broken record. There was no escape from this place. From this life. Not until he was able to move away, to go to a good university that his parents had selected for him, and to live on his own. Until that day, he just had to suck it up and bear the torment. No matter how much he wanted anything, they were things he couldn't have.

I wish I could be like you, Rin… he thought to himself as he was finally allowed to go back up to his bedroom. You don’t let anyone stop you from being yourself.

It was almost midnight. He had school in the morning. No one in the gaming group was online by this hour. A part of him still wanted to grab his controller and play shooters alone until the sun came up, but he had already gotten into so much trouble for staying outside too long. Right now, he couldn’t risk pissing his mother and father off again.

With a heart festering with demons, he reluctantly ignored his computer, got ready for bed and turned out the light.

Chapter Text

Nanase was buzzing from the moment he flopped down at his desk on Monday morning. His phone was in his hands, the messages he had shared with Rin the night before staring back at him. The two of them had formed a plan of action regarding the next steps Rin needed to take, although Rin himself was only going along with it begrudgingly and after a lot of convincing. 

All hope was not lost on this lonely, antisocial introvert after all, it seemed. On some deep, subconscious level, he had been willing to listen to the idea detailed within the plan. It was tricky to tell whether it was out of a genuine desire to be with Hiori or just a result of having no idea what to do, but Nanase wasn’t going to question it and risk getting shunned, his efforts wasted.

This is a good start, he told himself. Baby steps.

Rin arrived at the classroom a little later than usual, only a couple of minutes before the bell. A cold glower plastered itself on his face as he trudged to the back of the classroom. 

For a moment, Nanase worried that something might have happened between the would-be couple, so he waited for the class to settle down a bit, then shot over a quick text.

Nijiro: You good?

Nijiro: Nothing happened between you and Hiori, did it?

Owl: No nothing happened, idiot

Owl: Hiori just wasn’t online last night

Owl: Figured

Owl: His parents probably didn’t let him near his computer

Well, that explained the glower. Nanase was vaguely aware that Hiori had strict parents but he had never tried to pry into Hiori’s home life. It sounded as though Rin knew a lot more about this particular situation — another good sign. Hiori was willing to open up to Rin more than he did with most people.

Nijiro: Well, that doesn’t change our plan

Nijiro: You’ve got this!

Glancing back, Nanase was met with Rin glaring at him. Those eyes weren’t filled with malice though, rather they exhibited a flash of nerves. Rin was nervous. That was far better than receiving a dagger-like death glare. And so, Nanase grinned, mouthed the word ‘lunchtime’, flashed a thumbs-up, and then the class’s teacher walked in and everyone had to go quiet for homeroom. 

With any luck, this plan would be a success, and while it wouldn’t mean that Hiori and Rin were about to start dating, it would get Rin a little bit closer to perhaps one day reaching that goal.

-—-

Hiori let out a deep, tired sigh. This day was as insufferable as he had predicted it to be, and lunchtime was proving especially challenging. 

His phone was still at home, sitting in the same drawer where it had been locked since the previous day. For parents who popped blood vessels at the thought of their son going outside for too long, they sure didn’t want him being able to contact them. Most likely, he would get his phone back once one of them realised that without it they couldn’t keep tabs on him. But until that moment came, he was stuck sitting in his classroom without much else to do.

He could always go to the computer lab and start working on code. The issue was that the lunch break was only forty-five minutes long, not to mention the lab was often crawling with first-years who needed to finish their computer science homework half an hour before their lesson. Coding after school was so much nicer, since only the coding club hung out there at that time.

Going to have lunch with Isagi and his friend group was also an option, but Hiori wasn’t really in the mood to sit around listening to a whole group of other people right now. He always wanted to give himself fully to conversations, not half-assing the communication, so taking in what three or four other people were doing all at once would be a lot to deal with. For a similar reason he didn’t feel like going to find Karasu. Most lunchtimes, Karasu hung out with his third-year friends Otoya and Yukimiya, who were nice enough people but Otoya especially was rather energetic. 

Fuck, I want my phone back... He thought, slouching forwards at his desk.

On days like today he usually stayed in his classroom on his own, playing a mobile shooter of some kind. Without his phone, his hands felt empty.

What do I do? he wondered, staring out of the window at the clouds rolling past. Do I... go see Rin?

He had never done anything like that before. He usually avoided the first-year homerooms because they were on the opposite side of the school, and Nanase and Kurona more often came over to the canteen to join Isagi’s group instead of everyone carting themselves off to any homerooms for lunch. Hiori didn’t even know which class Rin was in to begin with. Was he really in the mood to go and find out?

It's not like I’ve got anything better to do, he thought. At least with Rin I could talk about video games.

And so, he grabbed his lunch box and rose from his seat. His own classroom was almost completely empty, with just a small gaggle of students eating lunch together at the front. He didn’t acknowledge them on the way out.

-—-

“Okay, Hiori’s homeroom is… this way,” Nanase said with a certainty in his voice. 

A few steps behind him, Rin was trailing like a reluctant, lost cat. His glower was ever-present, snarling at anyone who so much as tried to look at him. Nanase ignored the attitude. The mere fact that Rin was following him right now was more than he could have asked for. 

The plan was simple enough: somehow, with a bit of encouragement, get Rin to invite Hiori back over to his house to play video games. Rin had told Nanase about what had happened the other day, something that had filled Nanase with complete excitement because he hadn’t realised things were moving along so smoothly without his help. But as things were, Rin was being reluctant and standoffish about initiating another hangout. Part of it did seem to have something to do with Hiori’s strict parents who might kill him for visiting Rin again, but there was also quite clearly a gigantic mental block for Rin himself.

“This isn’t going to work, idiot,” Rin grumbled as they entered the wing of the school that held the second-year homerooms.

“We’ll never know unless we try,” Nanase replied. He turned a corner. “Actually, you’ll never know unless you try—“

He almost walked face-first right into Hiori.

Luckily, Hiori managed to stop himself and stumble backwards before they collided, saving his lunch box from slipping out of his hands. “Nanase?” 

Well if this wasn’t the best stroke of luck! Nanase had to work had to suppress a grin of glee. “Oh? Hi Hiori!” 

It was clear from the look on Hiori’s face that he had already noticed Rin a few feet behind. There was a way the neutrality in his features shifted, relaxing as if becoming happier all of a sudden. And Rin himself was no better, freezing up like a lovestruck idiot with his words halting themselves in his mouth. These two wanted each other so badly that it was near-impossible to not just blurt it out in front of both of them.

But Nanase was determined to make this work naturally, the way Karasu intended — the way that was best for everyone involved. 

“I was on my way to the canteen,” he said quickly. “You joining Isagi and the others, Hiori?”

The look of fury Rin glared at him was understandable. This wasn’t part of the plan. Nanase had just straight up lied. Originally, the plan had been for him to hide outside Hiori's second-year classroom and support Rin from afar. Now though, the situation had changed. Given that everyone had congregated in the middle of a random corridor, not in a classroom, it would probably be in Nanase’s best interest to get out of the lovebirds’ way as soon as possible.

Before Rin could say anything to ruin the lie, Hiori replied. “Umm… no not today. I was actually looking for the first year classrooms.”

“Really?” Nanase asked.

“Yeah… My parents took my phone so I wanted to come see Rin in person.”

Well, this couldn’t have possibly gone any better! Hiori was looking for Rin. Rin was being sent to hang out with Hiori. They had found each other. It was now or never.

"Well, have fun you two,” Nanase bowed his head. He was already taking off back the way he had come from, heading towards the canteen. “See you for PE this afternoon, Rin!”

And with that, he disappeared out of earshot, getting out of there before either of the other two could ask any questions. He also didn’t want Rin chickening out and following him, or worse, going back to the classroom and waiting out the rest of lunchtime all on his own. No, now that he had been rather unceremoniously dropped off with his crush, he had to do the rest of the work from here.

Come on, Nanase thought to himself as he approached the canteen. You’ve got this, Rin.

-—-

“Huh,” Hiori hummed. “What’s gotten into him?”

Rin didn’t know if he wanted to wring Nanase’s neck or if he felt subconsciously a bit thankful that the bumpkin wasn’t here anymore. On the one had, his safety net had just up and left. On the other hand, it was much easier to relax with only Hiori to focus on. 

“You okay?” Hiori then suddenly asked.

Rin snapped out of his thoughts. “Uhh…” everything about the plan that had been so meticulously calculated was now turning to mud in his brain, rotting away as if infested with maggots. 

Hiori looked around. “It’s a bit crowded here, isn’t it?”

There was barely anyone else around but there were a few groups of students loitering, having conversations, or otherwise walking down the corridor. One such pair of girls walked by the two boys, giving Rin a cautious glance, as if they thought he might start a fight out of nowhere. That was, after all, the reputation he was known for. They moved on quite quickly but their disapproving eyes were still disgusting things.

“It's lukewarm here…” Rin muttered, his eyes trained to the ground. 

“Wanna go find somewhere quiet?”

“Yeah," Rin nodded. "I—" he stammered. "I know somewhere round the back of the school. No one ever goes there."

“Oh?” Hiori leaned in ever so slightly. “Take me there then. Although," he chuckled, "if you're just planning to murder me and hide the evidence, maybe wait until after school to do that."

Rin was finally able to look up. He was met with the most wonderful, curious, owl-like eyes looking directly at him. "I won't kill you, idiot," he replied.

-—-

“You look chipper today,” Chigiri said when Nanase practically bounded into the chair next to his own. “Did a girl ask you out or something?”

Nanase could only shake his head, his mouth muscles aching from how much he was grinning. “No no. Nothing like that.”

Across from him on the other side of the canteen table, Isagi, Bachira and Kurona frowned in unison. A few moments of silence descended, allowing for the general chatter of the student body to swirl around everyone in the group.

“So…” Isagi eventually piped up after no one said anything for a while, “you gonna tell us what’s up?”

“How can it not be a confession?” Bachira asked. “You look like you just won the lottery.”

“Over the moon, moon,” Kurona agreed.

While Nanase kept smiling, a part of him bit back the urge to speak his mind freely. He had promised Rin that he would keep the information from the night before completely, one-hundred percent private. There was no way he could explain that he had just wrangled Rin and Hiori into spending lunchtime alone together. Even if that hadn't been part of the initial plan, it was still off-limits to talk about, right? in terms of revealing anything…

However…

“Well,” he started, running his finger back and forth under his nose with a proud expression, “I might have just caught a glimpse of our two loverboys meeting in the corridor.”

Everyone at the table exchanged a glance.

“Hiori and Rin?” Bachira then gasped. 

“Right on the money!” Nanase could no longer hold back his excitement. “They’re together right now. Just the two of them!”

“Where?” Kurona asked. 

“Yeah, I’ve got to see this,” said Chigiri.

“Now now,” Nanase raised his hand, silencing the table. “We have to be careful here. If we all just rush off and try to find them, we might disturb them. I’ve not toiled in our group chat begging for this moment to happen just for us to ruin it by being nosy. Karma has gifted us today. We won't get this kind of luck again for who knows how long.”

“True,” Isagi sighed, “and Karasu would kill us if we ruined it.”

“Precisely,” Nanase agreed. “So we just have to wait until coding club this afternoon. We can hear all the juicy gossip then when Rin and Hiori show up.”

“I guess,” Bachira sighed. “Wish I could be there for that. At least it’s good to know Rin is now confident enough to make some sort of first move.”

Knowing the truth that Rin was not, in fact, that confident was something that Nanase just had to hold back. He could keep his silence for now. Maybe in two months, once Rin’s and Hiori’s relationship had finally come into existence, he could reveal the truth that he had helped Rin get into this situation to begin with.

“Yeah, it’s logical,” Chigiri said. “But…” He stood from his seat. “I still wanna see it. You guys can stay here if you want. Nanase, where are they?”

Well, at least Nanase could be honest about this next part. “Uhh… I don’t know,” he said sheepishly. “I left them alone together in the corridor but I doubt they stayed there.”

The look of disappointment on Chigiri’s face was almost hilarious. Clearly even he couldn’t be bothered to go on a wild goose chase around the entire school trying to find the two idiots in love. And that was probably for the best. 

Chapter Text

The weather was rather mediocre. Karasu couldn’t help but watch patches of clouds drift past in the mildly cool, autumn air as he sat on the school roof with Otoya and Yukimiya, his lunch box already emptied at his side. 

Technically the three of them weren’t supposed to be up here. The school left the door to the roof unlocked in case of a fire but students were still supposed to be given detention if they were caught sneaking up. However, the school was also far more relaxed than most when it came to enforcing this particular rule, so most days there wasn’t a teacher on duty making sure everyone stayed down below. 

Karasu leaned his back against the tall, chain-link fence running around the roof’s perimeter. The sky was as boring as ever, and opposite him Otoya was currently trying to convince Yukimiya that his latest girlfriend was ‘totally the one’… it was already obvious that they would break up in less than two weeks. This chick was a college student and enjoyed studying. She would be a bore for Otoya’s partying sensibilities soon enough. The guy just seemed to think that ‘studious girls’ were his thing right now, although is type changed so quickly that it as hardly a measure of his preferences. Party girls had been his go-to the previous week, and a month ago his type had been ‘someone bright and honest’.

With everything else being nothing but mediocre, Karasu turned his attention to people-watching down on the ground. Most of the same students always sat outside for lunch, and there was nothing new going on between them. Over on the sports field, the baseball club was busy going over tactics, and the tennis club was having a lunchtime meeting. Everything was the same. Everything was normal. Everything was ordinary…

… Until a flash of cyan hair caught Karasu’s attention like a lighthouse in a storm.

Is that… his eyebrows creased in confusion. Hiori?

It wasn’t just Hiori. He was walking alongside another student with a black mop of hair that was all too familiar to Karasu’s eyes by now. He had seen that head of hair every time he had cram school, walking out of school with Hiori after coding club. 

Hiori’s spending time alone with Rin? 

The two boys were heading around to the very back fo the school, past the sports sheds to where a small glade of trees divided the main school from the staff parking lot. It was an area where very few students ever went due to it once being a popular delinquent hangout. Ever since the faculty’s crackdown on bad behaviour about five years prior though, the place had remained rather empty, and since sunlight didn’t hit it after ten in the morning, it was pretty much always stuck in the school’s shadow, cold and isolated.

A part of Karasu wanted to think that Hiori and Rin were sneaking away to make out but he knew that wasn’t true. Hiori would have told him if he had lifted the ‘no dating’ rule and started going out with Rin. No, this was probably just another strain of useless pining to satiate the desire to confess any romantic feelings. It was so mediocre.

“Whatcha looking at?” Otoya’s voice then drawled, pulling Karasu back to the rooftop.

Karasu shrugged, stifling a yawn. “Nothing much,” he grumbled. Nevertheless, he pulled out his phone and opened the camera. Pointing it off the edge of the roof, he zoomed all the way in to where Hiori and Rin were about to disappear under the autumnal, orange and yellow tree canopy. The sound of the shutter going off snapped in an instant.

“Stalking?” Otoya whistled. “Never took you as the type. Is she hot?”

“What?” Karasu scoffed. “Huh? No, Otoya, get your head out of the gutter. It’s just Hiori.”

Yukimiya snorted. “Is he doing something he shouldn’t?”

“Nah,” Karasu shook his head. “He’s doing what he really needs to do right now.”

-—-

The glade was the most calming place for Rin in the entire school. He wished it could have been the art room but unfortunately Shidou had a habit of hanging out there whenever he wasn’t suspended. And so, this little patch of ground that always seemed quieter than everywhere else sufficed to reduce Rin’s stronger emotions down to a simmer. 

Inviting Hiori to this place was nerve-wracking to say the least. He usually reserved the glade only for himself, a place where he could go if he needed to stabilise. While most of the time he found limiting his anger too restrictive, even he knew that mood stabilisers were necessary if he didn’t want to end up arrested one day. 

“We have a place like this here?” Hiori seemed genuinely surprised, looking around.

The ring of trees wasn’t very large. Squinting between the trunks, one side revealed the main school building and the other revealed the staff parking lot. It was clearly being well-kept by the groundskeeper as well, with there being no litter or overgrown weeds anywhere. Even with all of this though, the place was quieter than the rest of the school, the chatter and bustle of the student body nowhere to be heard.

In the far corner of the glade, there was a somewhat large tree stump where Rin often sat to get his bearings. He made a bee-line for it as usual, still tense. “I come here to calm down,” he mumbled hesitantly. 

“I might just have to barge in with you from now on,” Hiori said, following behind. “It’s nice here.”

“I can't calm down anywhere else.”

“Really? Nowhere at all?”

Rin shook his head. "Not at school. Only here."

Hiori thought about something for a moment. “Do you have other places that calm you down? Outside of school?”

Again, Rin shook his head. “Not really. But I have things that help.”

“Things?”

“Candy mostly,” Rin admitted, sitting down on the tree stump. “Anything sweet is good, especially ice cream.”

“Is that why you had a bag of candy snacks yesterday?”

Hiori had noticed that? In the end the two of them hadn’t shared any. The snacks had just sat rather pathetically in the shopping bag on the floor. 

“I don’t really like sweet things,” Hiori himself admitted. “I wasn’t allowed much sugar growing up. My parents thought it would rot my teeth and make me too hyperactive to focus on studying. Nowadays I’m not very used to sweetness.”

Hearing that was admittedly a bit of a shame, but it did make Rin relieved that he hadn’t offered any of his snacks to Hiori now. At least he had dodged the bullet of an awkward rejection there. Most likely, it would have put him off wanting to attempt a nice gesture ever again.

“I have other foods that help,” Rin then said. “Ochazuke is the main one, specifically taichazuke.”

To that, Hiori’s eyes widened. He leaned down a bit, tilting his head with interest. “You like ochazuke?”

The wind rustled in the tree branches above. Usually, such sounds registered with Rin more than they likely did for others, but this time his focus was so fixated on Hiori that he barely even acknowledged the noise. 

“Yeah,” he said.

A small, genuine smile curled onto Hiori’s lips. “I actually love it too!” He then glanced to the tree stump Rin was sitting on. “Move up a bit. My legs are getting tired.”

Admittedly, it had completely slipped Rin's mind that Hiori would probably want to sit down too. He wasn’t very used to considering what other people wanted, and in the past whenever he had, he usually ignored it anyway because their requests and desires were utterly lukewarm. But this time was different. It was Hiori wanting something, and his calm voice, soft smile and beautiful, owl-like eyes were incredibly difficult to refuse.

Pathetic, he thought to himself. Tepid as fuck.

But nevertheless, he shuffled up enough to allow Hiori to perch on the tree stump beside him. It was just about large enough fit two people in close proximity — very close proximity, so close in fact that Hiori’s thigh was now pressed against Rin’s own. Rin had to swallow a nervous breath. Hiori’s thigh was warm against his, a constant reminder of his presence. It felt more intimate than just about anything Rin had ever experienced with anyone in his entire life.

“Ochazuke is my saviour, if I’m being honest,” Hiori said, gazing up at the swaying tree branches above. “You know the instant brand Nagatanien? That one’s definitely the best. In middle school I had to study until quite late at night, so if I wanted to game afterwards I’d always make myself a bowl of instant Nagatanien ochazuke as fuel. Without it I’d have passed out before I could turn on my computer.”

He had such a dower, tired tone in his voice when he spoke. It was unmissable, even to someone as unsocial as Rin. It wasn’t that Rin could relate — he had always been naturally good at school. No matter how little he studied, he usually got top marks, just like Sae had done before him. Being forced to study was never something his parents had made him do, they just seemed to presume he would get it done of his own accord and bragged to the extended family when his grades were good. They didn’t actually care what he did at all, since they barely seemed to like that he was their son to begin with.

“You’ve only ever tried the instant stuff?” he asked.

“Yeah. When we go out to restaurants, my parents always want to eat fancy food. Clearly ochazuke doesn't meet their standards.”

“You’ve not tried real ochazuke until you have a proper bowl made from scratch, no instant powders or artificial flavourings.”

“You can say that about most foods,” Hiori chuckled. “Okay, I’ll bite. Where should I go to eat a proper bowl of ochazuke?”

The answer came to Rin instantaneously. “Chazu Chazuke, on Shijo Street in central Kyoto.”

Hiori hummed. “Never heard of it.”

“It’s a small place. Only serves about ten people at a time.”

“But it’s super good, right?”

“Yeah.”

It was at this point that the echoes of Nanase’s voice started to pipe up in the back of Rin’s mind. ‘Offer to take Hiori there,’ he could already imagine Nanase telling him. 'Just do it. Even if he declines, it’ll show he’s interested.’ Why should he try? It would be a waste of breath. There was no way in hell Hiori would ever agree even if he wanted to. It was useless attempting to ask him out, even as just a friend... but then why did Rin want to so badly?

“Hiori…” he started. It was difficult to form words, but the pathetically disappointed look Nanase would give him if he messed up now was too infuriating to risk himself seeing. “If you… wanted, we could—“

At that moment, his phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket. The possibility of asking Hiori out shattered in his mind, the distraction too poignant. With any luck Hiori would forget he had said anything and he could just move on. Nanase didn't even know this was happening. It could remain secret forever. 

Usually, Rin kept his notifications turned off, however ever since starting to crush on Hiori — or well, ‘Snow’ back then — he had kept the going group’s notifications turned on, just in case Hiori came online. Clearly either Madoka, Imp or Sei had sent a message.

Hiori seemed to have heard the buzz too. “Someone vying for your attention?”

Rin rolled his eyes. “It’s probably nothing. Just Imp being talkative or something.”

As if the universe were agreeing with him, his phone then buzzed several more times. It would be impossible to ignore, so he pulled it out of his pocket and opened it up, intending to put it on silent. How dare the others in the gaming group interrupt this moment. 

But Hiori, it seemed, was rather interested. “What are they talking about? I haven’t been able to check things since yesterday morning.”

“Nosy.”

“Hey, I’m in the group too. Come on, let me see.”

Letting out a shallow sigh, Rin relented faster than he’d ever admit to and showed his now-opened discord app. Hiori scanned over the messages, then let out an intrigued noise.

Sei: You two seriously met up?

Imp: We did!!!

Imp: Guys I know what Madoka looks like now

Imp: I do, you don’t

Imp: I got special privileges

Madoka: Shut up

Madoka: If you leak my appearance you’re dead

Imp: Understood

Sei: Reo is never finding out about this

Sei: If he realised this was a possibility, he’d make me travel all the way to wherever you are in order to see you

Sei: Such a pain, idk why he wants me to socialise more

Imp: WAIT

Imp: THAT WOULD BE SUCH A GOOD IDEA

Sei: No it wouldn’t

Imp: Me and Madoka met up in Kobe

Madoka: Quit trying to doxx me

Upon reading that, Rin’s entire body stiffened. Imp and Madoka were a lot closer to Kyoto than he had expected. Kobe was only a short train journey away. Clearly from the way Hiori shuffled next to Rin, he had realised that too. So, this group was a lot more local than previously imagined…

Imp: Come onnnnnnnn

Imp: We’ve been playing together for months now!!!

Imp: I wanna see you all

Madoka: I mean

Madoka: I’m not actually completely against the idea

Madoka: But my precious anonymity

Sei: It’s too much hassle

Sei: I’m in Tokyo

Imp: You can get a train

Imp: Now where are Owl and Snow from?

Sei: Snow has a really thick Kansai accent

Madoka: Well Kansai is a big place, you can’t be sure where exactly he’s from

Sei: I bet it’s Kyoto

Madoka: …

Imp: @Snow @Owl Guys where are you from??? We wanna meet up

Sei: who said ‘we’?

Madoka: Nothing is decided yet

Imp: Idc I wanna see everyone now!

Rin and Hiori exchanged a glance. This was unexpected. Why all of a sudden was everyone in the gaming group meeting up out of the blue? Rin and Hiori themselves meeting had been some sort of miracle, but having both Imp and Madoka also be somewhat local was an insane level of coincidence. 

Was a meet-up between everyone even possible? It would have to involve going into the middle of Kyoto at the very least, perhaps even getting the train elsewhere. While for most that wouldn’t be too big an ask, there was one member of the group for whom it would be trickier, perhaps even impossible.

Looking over at Hiori, the boy’s face grew more and more sullen the more text messages he read. His smile from earlier was fading, replaced with a melancholy sombreness that made one thing clear: he didn’t think a meet-up would be possible for him.

Chapter Text

CrowTabi: (sent an image)

CrowTabi: Do my eyes deceive me?

CrowTabi: Or are we maybe getting somewhere?

Nijiro: We certainly are!

Nijiro: I saw the initiation of this glorious event myself

Princess: So THAT’S where they are!

Princess: Group stealth mission to the trees behind the school anyone?

Nijiro: Chigiri please don’t

BuzzyBee: Aww but we wanna see this go down

Nijiro: Not you too Bachira

CrowTabi: Don’t

CrowTabi: I’m enacting senior privileges here

CrowTabi: Leave them be

Nijiro: Thank you Karasu

Nijiro: Guys listen to your seniors

Nijiro: This is a very delicate operation

Nijiro: We can’t risk it going wrong now

Yoichi: I agree with Karasu and Nanase

Yoichi: If we get caught spying, Rin will be furious

CrowTabi: And Hiori will feel like you’re intervening 

CrowTabi: Trust me, there is nothing he hates more than people interfering with his life

BuzzyBee: Really?

Princess: I guess

Princess: You’ve known Hiori longer than us

Princess: I’ll take your word

Princess: Idc what happens with Rin tho

Yoichi: Understandable

Princess: So…

Princess: What now?

Nijiro: Well ideally today will lead to Rin and Hiori meeting alone together more often

Nijiro: Maybe even during an out of school context?

CrowTabi: That is incredibly unlikely 

CrowTabi: Hiori doesn’t meet with anyone outside of school

BuzzyBee: Yeaaaaaaaah

Princess: It’s such a shame

Yoichi: I’ve tried to hang out with him several times but he just turns down my offers

Nijiro: I’m sure it’s possible!

Nijiro: I mean it’s already happened once

Nijiro: So it can definitely happen again

Yoichi: ?

CrowTabi: Wdym? Hiori never hangs out with anyone outside of school

Nijiro: Oh wait

Nijiro: Oops

Nijiro: I wasn’t meant to tell you guys that

Nijiro: Forget I said anything 

Nijiro: Rin trusted me with that info as long as I kept it secret

BuzzyBee: HUH???

Princess: Hiori met Rin outside of school???

BuzzyBee: Did they kiss?

Princess: Are they already official?

CrowTabi: Quit jumping to baseless conclusions guys

CrowTabi:  It was meant to be confidential so drop it

Princess: Oh come on Karasu

Princess: Admit that you’re nosy enough to be surprised by this

CrowTabi: Of course I’m surprised!

CrowTabi: Hiori has only ever rejected my offers to hang out

CrowTabi: Clearly whatever sort of crush he has on Rin is strong enough to make him break his family’s rules

Yoichi: His family’s rules?

CrowTabi: Okay now forget that *I* said anything

CrowTabi: Just forget this whole conversation ever happened

CrowTabi: We weren’t meant to learn that Hiori met Rin outside of school

CrowTabi: We need to pretend we don’t know

Princess: Nah

BuzzyBee: Yeah sorry Karasu but I’m not forgetting this

BuzzyBee: We need to orchestrate a date for them now!!!

CrowTabi: No guys come on

CrowTabi: We have to let things develop naturally

Madoka: Wow you’re all being way too talkative

Madoka: Quit blowing up my phone

Princess: Sorry Niko, we’re brainstorming how to get Hiori and Rin to meet outside of school rn

Madoka: Oh really?

Madoka: That’s easy

Madoka: The gaming group is thinking of meeting at some point soon-ish

Madoka: I mean, that would work well, right?

Nijiro: You’re serious???

Madoka: Yeah

Madoka: I myself actually met someone from the gaming group the other day

Madoka: And now he wants us all to get together

CrowTabi: Well that’ll be difficult

CrowTabi: Hiori would never agree to that

Nijiro: You say that but he did meet with Rin yesterday

CrowTabi: I thought we agreed to forget you said that?

Nijiro: I’ve said it now!

Nijiro: No way you’re all forgetting

Nijiro: I’ve just gotta keep my lips sealed around Rin about this if I wanna keep my life

Princess: My condolences

Princess: It was nice knowing you

Nijiro: I’m not dead yet!!!

Nijiro: I can still scheme

Nijiro: And I think if Rin agreed to go to that meet-up then it might convince Hiori to go

Nijiro: And then once everyone has met, Niko you make it your life’s mission to give them some alone time

Madoka: Convoluted

Madoka: Chances of success are minuscule

Madoka: But honestly it might work

Madoka: Given the way they’re so obviously head over heels for each other 

Madoka: I say we try it

CrowTabi: And aren’t you forgetting something big here?

Nijiro: What?

CrowTabi: How the hell do you get Rin to agree to go to that meet-up to begin with?

CrowTabi: I don’t know the guy well but from what I’ve heard he isn’t exactly social

CrowTabi: Even Hiori tells me that much about him

CrowTabi: Also this is getting dangerously close to the line of interfering with things

CrowTabi: I don’t like where this is going

Yoichi: Well isn’t it the best option we’ve got?

Yoichi: I doubt things would count as ‘interfering’ if we can get Rin to talk about it with Nanase

Yoichi: Since that would just be Rin asking for advice and Nanase giving it

Yoichi: Nanase could convince Rin to try the meet-up if, say, Hiori was likely to be there

CrowTabi: It’s all too direct

CrowTabi: And we need more data before we can figure out if this would be interfering too much

Princess: Oh come on

Princess: Do you seriously think the two of them will get ANYWHERE if we don’t do a bit of interfering?

Princess: It’s been months, right?

Princess: They’re barely hanging out alone!

Princess: I say we try out this plan

Princess: Even if the sky starts falling down, we’ll get Hiori and Rin to that meet-up

Princess: And after they’re left alone, whatever happens is up to them

Princess: Not too much interfering

Princess: But enough to get them to actually do something

BuzzyBee: I side with Chigiri on this

Yoichi: Yeah…

Yoichi: Sorry Karasu I’m with Chigiri on this too

SharkBoy: Me too, me too

SharkBoy: Yes I’m here

SharkBoy: You’re all being very talkative

Madoka: It would make sense and wouldn’t be too intrusive

Nijiro: And it’s pretty much the best shot we’ve got at helping them

CrowTabi: …

CrowTabi: Fine

CrowTabi: But if this fucks up and Rin ends up upsetting Hiori because of it

CrowTabi: I’m telling Hiori about this group chat

CrowTabi: And exposing every single one of you to him

CrowTabi: Got it?

Princess: Go right ahead

BuzzyBee: We’ll take that risk

Yoichi: Hopefully everything will go well so you won’t have to resort to that

CrowTabi: I sincerely hope so too

-—-

Meeting up with people had always been something Hiori had thought about but been too afraid to try. Until going over to Rin’s house, it was something he had never done, and even now he knew that he had been stupid and let his feelings get the better of him on Sunday. He had briefly chased after his frivolous crush, ignoring the warnings of how it would mess up his life. 

You can’t be with him, he told himself as he stared out of his classroom window. Remember Mom and Dad’s relationship and how horrible it is. Remember what they do to you when you misbehave. It’s all just bullshit. I can’t let my feelings for Rin overpower me like that no matter how much I want him.

By the end of afternoon classes, the heavy feeling of dejection had somewhat mellowed out into a detached feeling of bleakness. It was the only way he had ever been able to properly deal with his stronger emotions. Viewing himself not as part of himself, but rather as an outside presence guiding his body around as if it were a video game avatar, provided the necessary disconnect to stop himself from being overcome with anger and hatred. He was already upset enough at his life. This was the best way to deal with it. As he stood to leave for the coding club, his mind was blank. Tired. Drear...

“Hold on, Hiori.”

Isagi's words were hurried, clearly trying to catch his friend before Hiori could rush off to the computer lab.

“I’m almost done packing my things," he said. "Give me a second. I’ll walk to club with you.”

Hiori frowned. “Aren’t you meeting with Bachira?” Most days, Isagi would go say hello to Bachira in the next classroom over before making his way to the coding club. It had been a tradition of the pair’s since first year. They weren’t in the same class but they tried hanging out as much as possible.

Today though, Isagi shook his head. “The dance club wants him in the gym on time,” he said. It didn't sound like a complete truth but Hiori wasn't in the mood to question things. “Come on. I’ll join you. For once you won’t be the first one through the door.”

For some reason, the offer made Hiori feel a bit better. Not much so, but having his friend there by his side eased the burn of being reminded of how many restrictions he had on his life.

As they made their way through the corridors of swarming students all heading this way and that, Isagi put his hands in his pockets and looked off to the side. “So,” he said slowly. “Nanase said you and Rin were hanging out today?”

Heat automatically flushed into Hiori’s cheeks. “Uh, yeah,” he said sheepishly. 

“You really like him that much?”

“He’s really not that bad once you get to know him,” Hiori already knew where this was going. 

“Seriously though, Rin of all people?” Isagi didn’t sound judgemental in his words, mostly just confused. “I will say, it honestly doesn’t surprise me that much. I mean, I’ve been watching you both in the coding club and you seem to click naturally. If you ever wanted to make it official I could see it happening.”

“What—“ Hiori’s eyes widened in shock at the words he had just heard. “Official?”

“Yeah like, if you asked him out. I can see you two dating.”

“Who ever said anything about us dating?!” Hiori had always known that Isagi was an intuitive guy but was the crush really becoming this obvious?

Isagi gave him a look. “You don’t want to date Rin?”

“Well I never said that. I just—“ 

“So you do want to date him?”

“I mean if I could—“

“I say do what you feel is right,” Isagi then turned his attention to the corridor in front of them. They were almost at the computer lab now. “Date him. Don’t date him. It doesn't affect me so I think you should do what you want. If you ever do get the urge to confess or ask him out or even just hang out with him, I think you should.”

Hiori had never told Isagi a thing about his home life and yet somehow those last words seemed so incredibly poignant. Hiori knew that he never did anything for himself. That was the way things had always been. But here Isagi was telling him to do something for himself. Thinking back, it was a sentiment Karasu had been trying to get into Hiori’s head for ages, urging him to be himself, find his own passions and chase his true calling. That was what had caused Hiori to pluck up the courage to even consider joining the coding club to begin with — his first ever small act of rebellion.

But asking Rin out was a different beast. Hiori wanted to. He understood that much about himself and had known about it for a while now, but the smothering anxiety that if he did, everything would go wrong, never left him. It didn’t matter whether it was his parents forcing him to break up with a partner, or the love in the relationship eventually fading away into bitter cruelty, the idea of making a romantic relationship official was still so riddled with mines.

But I want it. Isagi says I should go for it…

Isagi always had been incredibly logical. He had a mind that Hiori could easily understand and he could trace Isagi's logic back to a sensible starting point. What he said made sense and echoed discussions Hiori had shared with Karasu. 

Could I ask Rin out?

The possibility still felt preposterous. It was too much. There was no way he could do such a thing.

But… could I at least meet with him again? Somewhere secret? Without telling Mom and Dad?

He didn’t know. It was too much to think about right now. But as he and Isagi stepped into the computer lab, his thoughts did cast themselves back to the discord messages he had read with Rin at lunch. The gaming group seemed to be organising some sort of meet-up. Would it be possible to go there with Rin?

-—-

“Hey, Headband,” Rin muttered. 

“Hmm?” Nanase glanced up from where he was packing his pencil case into his bag.

“Hurry up. Coding club starts in five minutes.”

They were the last two people in the classroom. Nanase had accidentally dropped his pencil sharpener shavings all over his desk right before the final bell, and only now had he managed to clear everything up. It wasn’t lost on him that Rin had waited for him instead of going off on his own.

“You don’t need me to go with you to the computer lab,” he chuckled. “I’m sure Hiori is already there.”

Upon close inspection, Rin’s face muscles tensed ever so slightly whenever Hiori was so much as mentioned. His cheeks would redden a little bit too, as did the tips of his ears. If someone knew the signs, this guys crush on Hiori was incredibly, painfully obvious.

“Just quit being a slowpoke,” Rin grumbled. “I won’t wait for you next time.”

Nanase snorted, zipping up his school bag. “Don’t tell me, you’re nervous to possibly be alone with Hiori… even though you spent all of lunchtime alone with him.” The scowl Rin shot his way was enough to get him to shut his mouth. 

“It’s not about that idiot. I’m not a lukewarm sap. I just…” Rin paused. He looked as though he was genuinely mulling over his words. “The computer lab is Hiori’s place. I don’t want to make him hate it there because of me…” He sounded so strangely quiet as he said that last part. "With you there too it's..." he trailed off into a cold, sombre silence.

Nanase jogged up next to join him and they headed out of the classroom. “You being there would never make Hiori hate it,” he said. “If anything, it would make him like it more.”

“Quit it. I know you think he likes me back but giving me false hope is stupid.”

If only Nanase could spill the truth. Part of him always had to hold back, remembering how strict Karasu was about making sure Hiori and Rin discovered their mutual feelings ‘naturally’. It was becoming obvious to literally everyone else in their lives. Only the two lovebirds themselves were still seemingly unaware.

But despite having to hold his tongue, Nanase remained hopeful. Niko had informed the group chat of this upcoming potential meet-up for the gaming group. It was the perfect situation for something to happen ‘naturally’. Come hell or high water, Rin and Hiori would somehow both go to this meet-up and it would be a successful push towards them getting together. That was the most Nanase could hope for right now.

Chapter Text

“Do you think the meet-up will actually happen?” Hiori asked, his voice somewhat low.

Rin was watching him type away at his computer while the rest of the coding club sat around chatting on the other side of the room. “Probably not,” he said.

“Yeah, I mean…” Hiori sighed, “Sei won’t go. He'll call it a 'hassle'. I can’t go. I seriously doubt you want to go either.”

“It would be so lukewarm.”

“I figured you’d say something like that.”

“Would you go if you were allowed to?”

The question was one that Rin hadn’t really intended to ask. It had just slipped out, his desire to understand how much Hiori wanted to get out of the house getting the better of him. He watched Hiori with a guarded expression, trying to anticipate what sort of answer the other would give.

Hiori’s typing paused. He contemplated the question for a few moments, silent as he leaned back in his chair. “Honestly, probably,” he said after a while. “It would be fun. But that’s never gonna happen so there isn’t much point in thinking about it, right?”

“Not really…”

If it were just a regular meet-up, Rin would never have humoured the idea of going. It would only have been a possibility if Hiori had decided he was going to try and go too. Nanase had told Rin to try and spend more time with Hiori at any possible moment and that was supposed to have been by inviting him over the Itoshi household again, but that might end up being a bit tricky. A gaming group meet-up could have been a possible compromise to that, allowing Rin to indulge in this stupid, sappy crush even just a little bit. No doubt it would have had Nanase jumping for joy. 

But Hiori already seemed to have decided he wasn’t going, and that automatically meant Rin wouldn’t try to go either. Hiori was also right about Sei. The guy was too lazy to do anything for himself — everyone in the gaming group already knew about his ‘roommate’ Reo (Reo was quite obviously his boyfriend but no one said the quiet part out loud), who did everything for Sei from folding his laundry to telling him to go to bed. With a guy as lazy as that, there was no way he would make the trip all the way from Tokyo to Kyoto. 

“A meet-up would be nice…” Hiori then murmured.

“Huh?”

“I mean, we could go into central Kyoto. You could take me to that ochazuke place you mentioned. We could go to that cool new arcade that just opened. I’d get to be away from Mom and Dad for ages.”

He sounded so gloomy, as if he were detached from himself. Did he want to go after all? It wasn’t something Rin was ready to ask about. If Hiori wanted to go, he could say so. If not, then it would just remain a silent yearning in his heart.

After the club was over, the two of them went through their normal routine of walking out of school together. Since it was Monday, Hiori’s friend Karasu was waiting just across the road from the gates, flashing a wide, cocky grin over at Hiori and waving.

“Hopefully my parents will give me my phone back tonight,” Hiori said. “If they do, I’ll text you.”

Rin nodded. “DBD tonight?”

“With everyone.”

They never really said ‘goodbye’ to each other on days like this. Hiori simply flashed a small, tired smile, clearly dreading the next several hours of cram school he was about to endure, then he waved Rin off and jogged over to join Karasu. 

Watching the two leave always caused a tightness to form in Rin’s chest. He knew why now — it was because of this stupid crush. Before, he had just thought it was a desire to remain by someone’s side, a lingering hold-over from his childhood when he had used to follow Sae around like a duckling. But this was different. He knew that now. The feelings he harboured for Hiori, he harboured for Hiori alone.

-—-

“Saw you sneaking off with Rin today,” Karasu smirked. “How was the make-out sesh?”

Hiori’s face flushed slightly. “Come on, we aren’t even dating. We didn’t do anything like that. We just had a nice conversation, is all.”

“Who the hell goes to that clump of trees if not to smoke or make out?”

“Rin goes there to decompress actually,” Hiori said matter-of-factly. “I think it’s a nice place to take a few deep breaths.”

“And inhale the stench of cigarette butts.”

“It actually smells like trees and fresh air.”

Karasu chuckled. “Whatever. You two still looked suspicious as hell sneaking off like that. Did you see the picture I DM-ed you?”

To that, Hiori let out a gigantic sigh, tightening the grip on his bag straps. “Phone’s confiscated. Couldn’t check.”

“Doesn’t school give phones back at the end of the day?”

“Wasn’t a teacher who did it,” Hiori grumbled. “Dad locked it in the hallway drawer.”

It was Karasu’s turn to sigh heavily. Of course that had happened. “Wow, you must have really pissed your parents off for them to do that.” Of course, Nanase’s accidental tattle earlier had given away everything, not that Karasu was about to spill such a secret.

Besides, it was funnier watching the tips of Hiori’s ears redden as he started to speed up his walking. “I’m not surprised,” he said. “After all, I…” he trailed off seemingly unsure of how to word things. “I might have gone over to Rin’s house yesterday…”

Of course Karasu was already fully aware of this, but hearing the confession come from Hiori himself was almost surreal. Was the socially stunted, lonely boy he had met back in middle school finally coming out of his shell? Was he finally starting to break down his walls and push back against his parents, even if it wasn’t by much?

Karasu could only smile in response. “So you’re finally finding your spine.”

“I just let my stupid crush get the best of me. I can’t let it happen again.”

“Why not? Just don’t get caught next time.”

“Mom and Dad are ruthless with this sort of thing. They already took my phone. If they suspected I wanted to do anything like that again, they’d probably confiscate my computer too.”

Karasu hummed. “Do you want to do something like that again?”

For a moment, Hiori was silent. The two of them continued their walk towards cram school, weaving down streets and crossing roads. The silence was something Karasu was very used to during their walks, and he welcomed it. If there was nothing to discuss, there was no point in trying desperately to fill the silence. 

So when Hiori opened his mouth again after a little while, it was somewhat surprising. “The gaming group wants to meet up soon.”

“Oh?” Again, Karasu also already knew this from the group chat. Feigning ignorance was something he didn’t particularly enjoy doing around Hiori but it was for the best right now. “You wanna go to that?”

Hiori shrugged. “I mean, what do my feelings matter? Mom and Dad would never let me.”

“Fuck what they think. What do you want to do?”

Another short silence descended. 

“I guess I do wanna go,” Hiori then admitted. “If anything to see Rin outside of school again. And it would be fun.”

Another chuckle escaped Karasu’s lips. “So if Rin goes, you go. If Rin doesn’t, neither will you?”

“Honestly even if he did say he wanted to go, which I doubt he would, I might not be able to sneak away from my parents for long enough. They would murder me if I was out for an entire day without their permission. They might even call the police. You know how neurotic my Mom is.”

Karasu did know. He had met Hiori’s parents a couple of times before at mathematics events. They were awful people, never letting their son get a word in about anything and only ever thinking of themselves. It was never ‘Hiori Yo’s success’, it was ‘the Hiori family’s success’ in everything Hiori ever did. His parents couldn’t seem to detach themselves from their son, leeching their sense of worth from his successes and belittling his failures as shameful.

“I think you should talk to Rin about it,” Karasu said. “Even if you ultimately decide not to go, tell him you want to. Something tells me he won’t even consider going unless you show an interest first.”

Hiori let out a laugh at that. “You’re not wrong.”

“So talk about it with him. It’s not like it would be a date or anything. You’d have the rest of your group there with you.”

Getting through to Hiori about this sort of thing had always been tough. It was as if no matter what Karasu said, Hiori took the words in without ever actually digesting them. It was a shame. Hiori needed to do things for himself more. For as much as watching him flounder with his crush was aggravating as hell, mediocre, perhaps it was the one thing that could get him to try doing something for himself for once? That was what Karasu hoped, at least, as they finally arrived at cram school for the evening.

-—-

That night, Hiori got his phone back basically the moment he stepped foot through the front door. The bus from cram school back to the neighbourhood had been delayed by five minutes. Not a long time in the grand scheme of things, but enough that it had thrown his parents into a fit of worry. They practically shoved his phone into his hands (not apologising for confiscating it in the first place, of course) and lectured him about being on time, making sure he contacted them at the smallest delay.

Since he ate dinner at the cram school cafeteria on nights like this, he was able to go straight to his bedroom without having to sit through a tiresome meal eating calorie-counted food that was difficult to swallow. He tugged off his uniform, threw on his most comfortable, striped onesie, and crashed down into his gaming chair.

On Discord, the gaming group were already for the most part congregated in a voice call. Only Rin was absent, and that was because ever since the inception of the group, he had always waited for Hiori to join call before letting himself in. Most likely he was currently lurking, perhaps checking the server every so often to see if Hiori had arrived home yet. As usual, Madoka was lingering in the voice chat channel.

Slipping his headphones over his head, he prepared to get rid of the thought of his parents and school for the rest of the evening. He joined the call.

“—it’s a nightmare,” Sei’s apathetic voice drawled.

“Oh come on,” Imp huffed. “It’s a two-hour train ride and Reo says you can stay in a six-figure apartment overnight if you’re too lazy to travel home!”

“But it’s so much effort,” Sei groaned.

“Too much effort to get pampered by your billion-dollar roommate?” 

“It’s not like Reo is coming with me.”

“It’s one day in Kyoto, Sei. Quit being a lazy ass and get over here so we can hang out.”

Hiori’s jaw tensed. “Hi everyone,” he said awkwardly.

That seems to get Imp and Sei’s attention. Imp let out a cheered gasp. “Snow!” he beamed. “We’re figuring out the logistics of everyone meeting up this Sunday.”

“Oh…” Hiori swallowed.

“Me and Madoka are both free, and because Sei’s roommate Reo was reading our earlier conversation over Sei’s shoulder, the guy offered to pay for Sei to come to Kyoto for the day. He’s even agreed to pay for anything we wanna do as long as it gets Sei out of the house. Reo’s mega-mega-mega rich so we can do literally whatever we want.” Imp then paused for a moment as if this were some sort of grand announcement. “So,” he then said, “you in?”

Silence. Hiori didn’t know what to do. He was in two minds, stuck, unable to fall on one side of the fence. On the one hand, his parents would be so incredibly furious with him if he tried to sneak out to do anything, let alone get a train into central Kyoto to spend an entire day slacking off. They had just been freaking out over him being five minutes late off the bus, not to mention the torturous regime they had subjected him to the other day. It was too dangerous to risk the incredibly fragile state of this family over a silly day out…

But then he thought of Karasu and Isagi. They were so adamant that he should do what he wanted — what he felt was best for himself. And he really, really did want to meet his gaming group in-person. They were his rock in this hellish life he lived, a spark of hope in the bleakness.

Words formed on his tongue. “What has Owl said about it?” He remembered back to his conversation with Karasu earlier that evening. If Rin was going, he could consider risking it all.

“He’s not really said anything,” Imp replied. “We’re still waiting for him to come online.”

“If Snow and Owl aren’t coming, then I’m certainly not,” said Sei.

“Then I bet they will both come,” Imp said. “Right, Snow—“

At that moment, a new person entered the call. There was only one person it could be.

Rin, Hiori thought.

“Well, speak of the devil,” Imp sounded borderline devious. “Guess we can get his input now. Owl, we’re thinking of going to central Kyoto on Sunday together. Is that doable for you?”

Chapter Text

The question was dropped on Rin so fast that he froze up. He had to take a second to comprehend what the hell Imp was even talking about. All he had wanted to do was get online, play Dead By Daylight, and then maybe have a late-night chat with Hiori about horror games until after midnight, but now Imp had swooped in and thrown a curve-ball into the evening.

Rin frowned, his nose wrinkling. 

“You there, Owl?” Imp then asked. “Come on, we can see you in call. Are you muted?”

“Obviously not, idiot,” Rin spat. He simply hadn’t been expecting this at all.

“Okay, so are you in for meeting on Sunday?” Imp sounded as impatient as usual when he spoke, his French accent thickening.

Rin’s brow creased. He exhaled a deep breath. “Is Snow going?”

The vestige of Nanase hung in the back of his mind. It was such a lukewarm thing — he kept imagining his classmate giving him an encouraging thumbs-up with a cheesy grin slapped across his face. Nanase's voice was as clear as day, saying lukewarm bullshit such as ‘good job, Rin’ and ‘try to meet up with Hiori as much as possible’. It was so pathetic, and yet it was weirdly keeping Rin from abandoning the call altogether.

In response the the question, Imp let out one of the biggest groans Rin had ever heard. “Oh come on!” he gasped. “Snow asked the same thing about you!”

Given the snowflake icon on the computer screen, it was clear that Hiori was already in the call. Hearing that he had done such a thing made heat rise in Rin’s cheeks. “You did, Snow?”

On the other end of the call, Hiori’s own startled voice cut in. “I just wanted to make sure you were going before I said anything more.”

“Liar,” said Imp. “You’ll only go if Owl goes. And Owl will only go if you go.”

An awkward laugh reverberated in Rin’s headphones. Hiori then composed himself. “I guess so,” he said. “So, uh, are you going, Owl?”

Rin scowled. “Are you going?”

“Well I’m not sure yet. Are you?”

“No idea. Are you—“

“Enough of this mess!” Imp’s childish screech cut off the two of them from continuing this silly back and forth any longer. “I’m making the final decision. Yes, the two of you are both coming on Sunday. See you then.”

Rin’s eyes widened. “Hold on—“

"You can’t just decide for us like that,” Hiori spluttered.

At this point, Sei piped up. “You guys are being such a hassle. Just say you’re going.”

“You don’t even want to go in the first place,” Hiori scoffed. “You can’t talk.”

“Well I’m gonna be forced to go either way. Reo will make me.”

“Just keep telling him no,” said Hiori.

Sei then paused. “No. Too much of a hassle.”

Imp chuckled like a mischievous pixie. “More like you can’t refuse anything he says.”

“He promised me that if I go to Kyoto, I could spend Monday off school without him complaining.”

Madoka then typed in the chat: ‘When did he tell you that?’

“When I muted a minute ago,” Sei explained.

“Of course he's there with you right now," Imp sighed. "So it’s settled then,” he then changed his tune and announced triumphantly. “We’re all meeting on Sunday. Snow and Owl, you’d better be there or this group is over!”

Rin heard Hiori let out a stammer of protest. “That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?”

“Not at all. For the sake of the meet-up, I’m imposing a strict condition.”

There were times when Imp really did make Rin’s blood boil. The guy should count himself lucky that they were only communicating virtually. If this were a real-life encounter, Imp would likely have been subject to a few of Rin’s violent outbursts by now. 

A part of Rin seriously wanted to just tell Imp to fuck off and then hang up. The only thing keeping him around was to hear what Hiori had to say about the matter. If he left now, there was no telling what Hiori might try to organise, leaving him in the dark.

As pathetic as it was, if Hiori did decide to go to this stupid, pointless meet-up after all, Rin wanted to go too. He had never wanted for much in his life when it came to human connection. This was the first time he had ever wanted to be so close to someone outside of his own family. It was as if Hiori had put a spell on him. This crush was pushing Rin to stomach things he never would have countenanced otherwise. 

And then, by complete surprise, a direct message notification popped up in Rin’s discord. 

Snow: Priv call

Snow: I don’t wanna discuss this with the others

Snow: Can you make a scene and leave call in the server or something?

Snow: I’ll pretend to come talk to you to get you back

That message alone created such a weird sense of relief in Rin. The two of them, it seemed, were on a similar wavelength. 

“Imp, fuck off,” Rin spat. Hiori was telling him to put on an act but honestly it wasn’t very hard. The frustration was very much real. “Quit trying to force your dumb ideas onto me.”

With that, before anyone could respond, he pressed the ‘end call’ button and disappeared from the others’ screens. The silence that enveloped him was tense. This wasn’t how he had wanted his evening to go in the slightest.

It only took a few moments for Hiori to request a private call. Rin took the opportunity far more gladly. 

The voice that met his ears was equal parts mesmerising and pitiful. “Man, Imp sure does know how to drop something on you fast.”

“Tell me about it,” Rin grumbled. “I can barely even think with him running his mouth in my ear.”

Hiori chuckled. “He did it to me too, don’t worry.”

A brief silence fell.

“Do you think you’ll go?” Rin then asked. He then paused. His mouth felt dry. It was disgusting. “I…” why was it so difficult to speak all of a sudden? “I’ll go… if you’re going.”

For a moment, Hiori said nothing. Then, he let out a weak laugh. “And I’ll go if you’re going.”

“So we’ll both go if the other goes…” Rin ran a hand down his face. This was mildly painful.

“Listen, Rin,” Hiori then said. “I know I can’t really go. I know it’s foolish of me to want to. But…” he paused. “But I really do want to.”

Rin’s brow creased. “Enough to go against your parents?”

“After everything they’ve put me through, I thought I had to do what they said at all costs. The punishment they gave me just for hanging out with you was horrible. But if anything, it’s given me a chance to think… I hate Mom and Dad. I hate this stupid house. I’d do anything to get away from it even for just a day, no matter how awfully I get punished afterwards.”

The visceral venom that seethed in Hiori’s voice when he spoke was like ice, cold and unforgiving, spreading through every single word like frost. The resolve sent a shudder through Rin, one that he hadn’t felt since the night he had fought with Sae. 

-—-

It had been a cold, winter night, just a few days before New Years. Sae was coming back home after having spent the entire academic year in Tokyo at university. It had been a tough year for Rin, alone without anyone to talk to. Sae was a medical student so Rin knew not to disturb him with long voice messages talking about owls, or DMs asking about when they could see each other again. He had been a good brother, left Sae to his studies, and waited patiently for his big brother to return. 

Sae was the family’s golden child. From a young age he had been recognised as a savant, pushed into studying mathematics and science far more advanced than was normal for his age. Right after middle school having just entered his first year of high school, he took the entrance exam for Tokyo U and passed their interview with flying colours. He was given an unconditional offer and that was that — off he went to study medicine. He would become a doctor, just what the Itoshi family wanted.

And that would leave Rin free to do whatever he wanted with his life. At least, that was what Sae had told him just before leaving. 

“As long as I become a doctor, all eyes in this family will be on me,” he had said, standing in the doorway to Rin’s bedroom. “So Rin, you can become an artist who draws owls every day. Or a horror game developer. Or anything you can think of. Leave appeasing Mom and Dad up to me and I'll make sure you can be whatever you want.”

Rin had nodded, glancing at the old drawing of an owl on his bedroom wall. “I’ll do that for you, Nii-chan.”

That was what they had promised each other. Sae would be the doctor who the family doted over. Rin would be the strange second child who indulged in his passions, ignored and misunderstood by his parents but loved by his brother for who he really was…

But the evening Sae returned home that year, that childish dream crumbled.

Rin was about to walk into the living room after dinner but he stopped when he heard the rest of his family talking. They sounded agitated. Unnerved. In that brief moment of hesitation, still hidden out of sight, all Rin could do was listen.

His brother spoke with such indifference it was chilling. “I’m not studying medicine next year,” he said with blunt certainty. “I’m going to study psychology instead. Arrangements have already been made with the university so they’ll move me to the new course in April.”

It was like a candle had just been snuffed out, leaving only frigid darkness. Rin could already sense the way the walls of the entire house were becoming more prison-like, freezing him in place, forcing him to stand there listening what was about to unfold. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. And yet, his feet refused to move.

What about our plan? he thought, alarm bells already going off in his head. What happened to our plan?

“What did you say?” The brothers’ father then growled. “You didn’t run this past us even once.”

“I didn’t see the need,” Sae replied, still as neutral as ever. “I’m only telling you now because it means I won’t be taking any exams when I go back.”

“You could have at least let us know,” his father’s voice was laced with anger, brimming with confusion. “We pay your tuition. We give you an allowance so you don’t have to get a part-time job. We did all of that because we know medicine is one of the hardest courses you can put yourself through. And you’re going to throw away all that for a psychology degree?”

At that point, his mother also made herself known. “You’re a genius, Sae,” she said. “You could put that brain to such good use as a doctor.”

Sae’s silence was deafening. He didn’t reply immediately. “It’s already settled,” he eventually said. “I’m moving courses no matter what.”

“But then who in this family will be a doctor?” asked his father. “Or at least a lawyer? Or a politician?”

Sae was silent for a moment. When he next spoke, there was a slight change in his voice, a passion that had not been there before, which Rin was half certain only he could pick up on. “Rin can do veterinary sciences,” he said in a confident, clear voice. “I’ll do psychology. Rin will be a vet. That’s good enough for you, isn’t it?”

And all of a sudden, that promise the two brothers had made to each other shattered to pieces before Rin’s very eyes. This had never been part of their plan. It had always meant to be Sae who did what their parents wanted, the favourite child who made the family proud, while Rin pursued his own passions. Rin was the family’s dark horse and he knew it. His parents would never say it out loud but they were disappointed in him. He knew that. And Sae did too. Why was Sae suddenly implying that their promise, the thing they had said would be best for both of them, had been wrong?

“Rin?” his father scoffed.

“His grades are good enough,” Sae said. “And he knows a lot about animals, especially owls.”

“He can’t go a week at school without a complaint,” his father replied. “Do you seriously believe he could go to university without getting kicked out or arrested?”

“Honey, we know you care a lot about Rin,” his mother said, “but… sometimes there are things that certain people can’t do. There’s no doubt that your brother’s grades are good but he’s…” she halted for a moment, searching for the words. “He’s different.”

There was no venom in how she spoke, no malice, but there was a tonal shift. A disappointment. It was something that had never bothered Rin much before because he had always presumed Sae would see past his strangeness and understand his true self. But right now, all it felt like was that Sae was discarding him. Throwing him away in pursuit of his own desires, leaving Rin to pick up the pieces with parents who had no faith in him and didn’t know what to do with him.

It was all too much to think about. Whenever Rin got like this the urge to lash out grew stronger. Words floated in his mind, unrelenting in their potency. Kill. Destroy. Disgusting. 

But how could he think such things towards Sae? 

He turned on his heel and clawed to get back upstairs to his bedroom, slamming his door shut behind him. He leaned his back against it and sank to the floor, his head in his hands, trying his best to ignore the way his heart as racing from the stress, each pulse exploding in his ears.

The knock on his door felt like it came an eternity later. In reality it had probably only been about five minutes.

“Rin?” Sae’s voice no longer filled Rin with a warm sense of security. There was only a deep, trembling dread.

When Rin did open the door, the person standing opposite him was a far cry from the brother who had stood in that very spot before going to university. There were bags under his eyes, a permanent frown on his face, and an air of apathy that had never surrounded him in the past. 

He sounded exhausted when he spoke. “I take it you heard the discussion downstairs?”

Rin swallowed. “That you’re breaking our promise?”

“Things changed. I didn’t know just how rigorous university would be. It was… it was a lot…”

“But you’re a genius!" Rin blurted out. “Mom and Dad say so. What happened to our promise? You’d be the doctor. I’d stay out of Mom and Dad’s way. We were gonna do that together. You said it would all work out.”

“And it still will,” said Sae. “You’ll now go study veterinary sciences and specialise in ornithology. You could work with owls for the rest of your life.”

“But I don’t want that,” Rin shook his head profusely. “I wanted to do what you said. What you decided we should do. You…” he hesitated for a moment. A part of him didn’t want to say the words forming on his tongue, but then the destructive pit in his gut threw them out into the world. “You’re not being the brother I thought I knew!”

It was those words that finally got Sae to betray any sort of emotion in his face. The nuances of it were impossible to describe — Rin had always been bad at understanding what other people were feeling — but when Sae’s eyes went dark and his lips sealed in a tight line, it was obvious that he was angry.

“You think this is all a game or something?” he muttered. With that, he pushed past Rin and strode into the bedroom. He looked around. “You think that all this,” he gestured at the drawings of owls on the wall, the owl memorabilia, the notebooks filled with information about owls, “this will get you anywhere? Without a degree, it’s pointless. You’ll just be the family’s failure if you can’t realise even that.”

The coldness inside Rin dropped to sub-zero temperatures, as if it were crystallising like ice inside his organs. What are you saying?

Sae had a look of pure disdain in his eyes. “If you can’t even think of a future for yourself, just fucking give up.”

It was those words that hung in the air, fading into dead, numb silence. It was hard for Rin to even comprehend what he had just heard. Give up? Throw away the life he had been living up until now? He had done things exactly the way Sae had wanted, secure with the knowledge that his brother would be there for him. But right now, Sae was acting completely different. He was unreadable.

“Nii-chan,” Rin took a step towards his brother.

Sae stepped back.

“Why are you saying this?” Rin could feel the lump in his throat now. He wouldn’t cry. He couldn’t. 

But Sae only let out a dissatisfied breath. “We really are lukewarm…” he muttered. “I can’t stand this anymore. Either grow the fuck up and accept your current state is completely half-baked, or lock yourself in this stupid room and never come out again.” It was the next words, his final words, that cut deeper than any knife. “Get out of my life, you lukewarm excuse for a little brother.”

He then pushed his way out of the bedroom and was down the stairs in mere moments. Rin’s feet moved on their own, chasing desperately, running after the brother he couldn’t dare lose. Sae was faster though, swiping their dad’s car keys off the sideboard in the hall, passing the collection of framed photos as if they meant nothing to him, and throwing the front door open. 

“I’m going to Shidou’s,” he called back into the house just as Rin made it to the bottom of the stairs. 

Before Rin could take another step, his parents came out of the living room.

“You just got back,” his father said. 

“And we still have to talk about university,” his mother added.

Sae didn’t respond. He just shrugged and stepped out into the night. The last thing Rin saw before the door closed was snow beginning to fall in thick, heavy globules, coating the front yard with ghostly white.

Sae didn’t come back that night. The next day, the car was back in the driveway and the keys had been left on the floor inside the front door. But Sae spent the rest of the week at Shidou’s house and decided to go back to Tokyo for the rest of the break. Neither his mother or father approved of him switching courses, although they did relent and agree to keep paying his tuition. He was still their golden child, after all, even with his bad decisions, and his father had always had the attitude that sometimes boys had to learn they were making mistakes the hard way. As the winter came to an end, the Itoshi household seemed to settle down into a sense of normalcy, neither of his parents seeming to care that much what Sae did at all anymore.

But for Rin, it was as if the whole world had crumbled. After the fight, he had sent a few text messages. He had tried to ask what was going on, what was making Sae act this way. Sae had answered none of them. 

‘Get out of my life, you lukewarm excuse for a little brother’.

The words turned over and over in Rin’s mind, crawling through is skin, digging into his flesh, scraping his bones. Why did Sae hate him? What had he done? Had Sae ever loved him, if he could so easily say such horrible things? Had the life Rin lived up until this point been a lie? Had it been nothing more than a fantasy Sae had conjured to get Rin to behave?

The thoughts were nauseating. The reality was too confusing and terrifying to comprehend. A truth settled in Rin’s mind that winter: there truly was no one in this world who understood him. The brother he had thought might turned out to only think of him as a convenient backstop to save his own skin when going against their parents. It was awful. Disgusting.

-—-

The coldness with which Hiori spoke about his own parents was so familiar that it was shudder-inducing. Rin understood that feeling of helplessness, of not knowing why things had to be that way, of wanting to get away from it forever no matter what it took.

“Hiori…” he started slow. “Come to the meet-up.”

Hiori was quiet for a moment. “You think I should?”

“I’ll go too. Just make sure you’re there or I’ll kill you.”

Anyone else would have been offended by such a harsh statement, but Hiori just chuckled at it. He was the only person who ever genuinely found the death threats, destructive urges and antisocial behaviours amusing. “It won’t be easy,” he said. “I really will have to get past Mom and Dad. But…” he paused, “… but you know, I think I might have an idea I can try.”

“You do?”

“No idea of it will work but I can always give it a shot,” Hiori sounded a bit unsure. “But you’re right. I should come to this meet-up. I’ll make sure I’m there with you. Karasu and Isagi say I should do things for myself. Follow my true passions. Maybe this is what they mean?”

This was a small victory Rin could let himself have. It was pathetic, but he was imagining Nanase crying tears of joy and bouncing around inside his head. The thought of it was dumb, but perhaps it wasn’t all bad? Maybe it was just Rin picturing in his mind a representation of the feelings currently writhing around inside him, sensations he couldn’t put into words. Nanase acted as his conduit, condensing the weird, indescribable feelings into a tangible, visual image.

“We should go tell the others,” Hiori then said. “I’m sure Imp will be very happy to hear we’re coming.”

Rin grimaced. “You do it. I just wanted to play DBD tonight.”

“Well you’ll have to come back on call for that anyway so let’s do it together.”

Together.

The corners of Rin’s lips threatened to turn upwards into the ghost of a smile. His heart hammered in his chest and he gripped his computer mouse tighter than usual. “Whatever…” he mumbled. “As long as you’re the one to break the news.”

Chapter Text

So… it was going to happen. Hiori was going to somehow get to this meet-up, come hell or high water. It still felt unreal to him as he laid down to go to sleep that night, a lightness in his chest fluttering at the idea of doing something truly for himself. His parents would be absolutely furious at him. They might take away his computer. They might force him to do a thousand equations as punishment. 

In all honesty, the fear still ruminated somewhere in the back of his mind, screaming that this was a terrible idea. But slowly, surely he was starting to see just how much that voice had a strangle-hold on him, choking him, forcing him to comply to an arbitrary set of rules that had only ever applied to himself. If going against that restriction meant feeling an edge of discomfort, then he would just have to suck it up and deal with the nerves.

Besides, how could he back down now that he had given his word that he would definitely be there for Rin? There was absolutely no way he was abandoning Rin just because he was afraid of what his parents might do.

Where one part of his mind still swam with anxiety, another part had become dominated by the desire to rebel. Karasu’s constant, blunt urging over the years had built up, encouraging Hiori to not let himself be consumed by the fear of expectations. Isagi’s support reminded him to do things for himself, not for the sake of others. And now here Rin was, a linch pin holding together the confidence Hiori was starting to exhibit, coaxing him out of the house on Sunday in a way no one else would ever have been able to do.

Yes, he would definitely go to that meet-up, even if his parents would reprimand him terribly. 

However, he wouldn’t be able to do this alone. He had an idea to get past his parents, but it was shaky at best. However, given that he still had a week to execute the plan, there was some hope. He would take his first steps towards his freedom tomorrow; before he could do or say anything to his parents, he would need to get someone else involved.

-—-

Madoka has added <2> people to the group

Imp: YOU MEAN EVERYONE HERE KNOWS ABOUT SNOW AND OWL???

CrowTabi: Niko… what is this?

CrowTabi: Who are these people?

Imp: Charles Chevalier, calling in loud and clear 

Sei: Nagi Seishirou

CrowTabi: And you guys are…?

Madoka: Gaming group

Madoka: I thought it was high time they joined the rest of us

Madoka: Since we have a pretty major update regarding Rin and Hiori

Imp: Wait is that their real names???

Imp: This feels like doxxing lmao

Madoka: Wait shit

Madoka: Oops

CrowTabi: Whatever happened to the concept of ‘precious anonymity’?

CrowTabi: Also Niko you seem rather relaxed considering you use your real name here too

Imp: Oh I’ve known Niko’s name for a while now

Imp: He told me it in complete confidence

Imp: So I still call him Madoka most of the time

Imp: But if you all know his real name I’ll just use that

Sei: I didn’t know his name…

Madoka: Oh well, that’s off topic

Madoka: What I wanted to say is that the meet-up is happening!

CrowTabi: Really?

CrowTabi: You got it to go ahead?

Madoka: I didn’t really do anything

Madoka: Rin and Hiori really do just want to see each other

Imp: It is sooooooo obvious

Imp: Owl is head over heels for Snow

Imp: He’ll do anything Snow wants even if he’d deny it to the moon and back

CrowTabi: @Nijiro you’re gonna wanna see this when you wake up

CrowTabi: It’s getting late so I’m heading to bed

CrowTabi: Welcome to this hell hole of a group chat, newcomers

CrowTabi: We have one main rule here: NO DIRECT INTERFERENCE

CrowTabi: We can observe Hiori and Rin’s aggravatingly slow romance from the sidelines

CrowTabi: But we do NOT try to force them together like we’re making dolls kiss

CrowTabi: Got it?

Imp: That’s no fun thoughhhhhhh

Imp: Can’t even joke about it in front of them?

CrowTabi: Any funny business and you’re getting kicked out and blocked

Imp: Harsh :(

Imp: Fineeeeeeee

Madoka: Trust me Charles, we won’t have to do a single thing besides give them some space

Sei: That’s easy

CrowTabi: I’m going now

CrowTabi: If you meet anyone else here tonight, don’t overwhelm them

CrowTabi: Last thing before I leave

CrowTabi: @Nijiro @Nijiro @Nijiro

Imp: Oh you’re hilarious

Imp: I like you

Imp: I think we’re gonna be good friends >:)

-—-

Nijiro: Okay!!!

Nijiro: I’m awake!
Nijiro: What’s the matter???

Nijiro: Wait

Nijiro: OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS???

Nijiro: NIKO YOU LIFE SAVER

Nijiro: I OWE YOU EVERYTHING

Nijiro: Also hello there Charles and Nagi! Pleasure to meet you!

-—-

It had been a while since Hiori had gone anywhere other than his homeroom at the start of the day. He was most used to walking through the school gates, changing his shoes in the entrance, and bee-lining for his classroom like clockwork. But he couldn’t do that today, now that he had to get this plan into motion. He had even left home early this morning in hopes of buying himself ten extra minutes. 

Instead of heading for the second year homerooms, he pivoted towards the third year homerooms. 

He hadn’t done anything like this since first year. Back then, he hadn’t really known any of his classmates, so sitting in the same room as them them before class had felt both difficult and unnecessary. Back then, only one person had ever made him feel at ease, and right now he would need to employ that person’s brain and good will.

“Karasu?” he called, turning a corner to be met with his long-time best friend walking to his own homeroom. 

That was lucky. Hiori hadn’t wanted to walk into a third year classroom with all eyes on him. He was aware of how a few of the third years thought he was attractive, both the guys and the girls, and no doubt seeing him ask to step out of the room with Karasu would raise a few eyebrows (and likely make at least one person jealous). So meeting like this, in the middle of the corridor surrounded by otherwise uninterested students, was a far more welcome turn of events.

Karasu whipped around at the sound of his name, relaxing when Hiori hurried up to him. “You don’t do this anymore,” he teased. “Something up?”

Hiori took a deep breath. It was now or never. “Actually, I might need your help with something.”

Karasu frowned. “Trigonometry?”

“No, not that,” Hiori shook his head profusely. “More like… you know how you keep going on about me doing stuff for myself?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I think I’ve found something I want to do this weekend.”

“Go on.”

“I… I want to go into Kyoto to meet with my friends in the gaming group.”

Karasu eyed him silently for a couple of seconds, then a breathy chuckle escaped him. He folded his arms across his chest, a sly smile curling onto his lips. “So, you finally saw a bit of sense. What can I help you with?”

Hiori smiled himself. Karasu was on board. That was a good sign. “It’s my parents.”

It only took those few words for Karasu’s eyes to flash with understanding. “Let me guess—“

“There is no way in hell they’ll let me out of the house on Sunday, not after what happened when I went to Rin’s. I probably won’t even be allowed to go for my weekly jog. But the meet-up is definitely happening this weekend so I have to get to the middle of Kyoto somehow.”

“And I take it you’ve already thought up a master plan,” said Karasu, “which is why you’re coming to me.”

Hiori nodded. “Please, Karasu, can you help me out just this once.”

“This is not the first time I’ve helped you go against your folks,” Karasu reminded. “Remember the whole coding club thing? This’ll be a walk in the park. Just tell me what’s happening and I’ll do my part to help.” He then reached out a hand and ruffled Hiori’s hair, earning a grumble of protest. “You’re finally opening up more. Didn’t think I’d see the day.”

Hiori huffed, rolling his eyes. “Do you dislike it?”

“Not at all. I was waiting for this,” Karasu smiled. “So, what’s the plan?”

It was now or never. Hiori looked at his friend with a confident glint in his eyes. “It’s gonna be a bit of work…”

-—-

Nanase was acting strange. He kept looking over at Rin throughout morning classes, clearly trying and failing to hide a giddy smile. It was becoming so noticeable that Rin was getting rather close to yelling at him over the teacher’s voice. But he managed to hold his tongue until the lunch bell sounded, at which point Nanase bounded over to Rin’s desk like a golden retriever bounding towards its favourite person.

“So,” he grinned, “any updates with Hiori?”

Rin grimaced. “Why the hell do you care so much?”

“Because this is doing wonders for your social skills.”

“And why do you care about that?”

Nanase paused. “Because you’re my friend?”

Friend?

Before Rin could protest such a title, Nanase continued talking. “Well, that’s how I see it at least. You don’t have to think we’re friends. I just want the best for my classmate and buddy, and you’re both. And also Hiori is my friend too and I want hm to be happy.”

A sudden, if small, jolt of warmth spread through Rin when he heard those words. A substantial part of his mind still didn’t really understand the sentiment, but the fact that anyone, let alone Nanase, wanted to try being his friend in real life provided a strange sense of security that felt almost out of place at school.

And so, he lowered his head, picking at his desk. “Me and Hiori are going to a meet-up on Sunday,” he mumbled.

Nanase hummed. “Sorry, didn’t catch that.”

Saying it again made blush heat up Rin’s face. “Me and Hiori are meeting up on Sunday,” he said a bit louder. “With our gaming group.”

The look of sheer joy plastered onto Nanase’s face was equal parts disgusting and also relieving. He seemed so genuinely excited about this even though he had nothing to do with it. “Oh, this is so perfect!” he said. “You can do so much together.”

“It’s not like we’ll be alone, idiot,” Rin grumbled. “We’ve got three other guys going with us.”

“You can sneak away from them no problem,” Nanase said confidently.

At first Rin opened his mouth to protest but he halted himself. What Nanase had said… wasn’t such an outlandish idea. Since Rin was only going there to be with Hiori in the first place, and truth be told he wasn’t thrilled at the prospect of meeting Imp in real life, if he could find a chance to escape to be alone with Hiori at any point, it would be an opportunity he would gladly take. 

It wasn’t missed on Rin how Nanase’s talking was causing a flicker of excitement to well up inside himself. He wasn’t used to feeling this way about meeting with other people. Until now he had always found the concept of meeting with friends to be either uninteresting or completely unappealing. But now that he had Hiori in his life and Nanase goading him on to pursue the feelings that were growing by the day, it was as if he were finally starting to understand the appeal.

“It will be great for you,” Nanase then said, giving a confident thumbs-up. “And I’m sure Hiori will be looking forward to it as well. So even if it’s a bit scary, make sure you see it through.”

“I’m not scared,” Rin rolled his eyes. “Don’t think of me as some pathetic, half-baked pansy.”

“Oh I don’t think that at all. You’re doing great! Hiori will be kissing you before you know it.”

What?

An image crossed Rin’s mind for a mere moment, no more than a split second, but it was more than enough to send his heart into a racing frenzy. He imagined Hiori’s lips against his own, soft, teasing yet reassuring — it was like pure dope had been injected into Rin’s veins.

“What the fuck?!” he stood up with a start, eyes wide, muscles tense all over. He tried rounding his desk to grab Nanase, but Nanase was already backing out of the room, his smile still as large as ever.

“See you in coding club,” he chirped. “Don’t miss it just because your detentions are ending this week.” And with that he hurried out of the classroom before Rin could chase him down.

There were a few other students starting to stare. From the concerned looks in their eyes as they glared at Rin, they were clearly worried that Rin was about to start a fight, trying to beat up one of the most sociable, cheerful puppy dogs in the entire grade. They were wrong, of course, but that probably wouldn't matter to them. There was no point in trying to explanation anything and Rin would never admit his crush out loud in the first place. And so instead of giving chase to his 'friend', he just plonked himself back down at his desk, resting his mouth in the palm of his hand, his eyes staring out of the window as he tried to hide his blushing cheeks. 

Kissing Hiori… he thought. It had barely crossed his mind as a possibility… but now, the seed had been planted. He would be thinking about pressing his lips against Hiori’s for the rest of the day.

Chapter Text

Anri prided herself on the school’s mathematics club. While it didn't belong to an elite academy, it contained a competent group of kids who had taken the school to several olympiads over the years and won many awards. Their head student, Karasu Tabito, had become especially proficient. He was probably going to end up at a top university if he continued on his current track record. That held true for several other members as well.

The club’s next upcoming event was a mathletes regionals tournament taking place in two weeks time. As of right now, the club was still in the process of preparing, selecting the students who would attend and drilling them in everything they would need to know. Everything was on schedule. The students were working hard. All Anri had to do was make sure they were all receiving the right amount of assistance and guidance. 

She was ready to do anything for her prized students, so when Karasu approached her after club activities had ended for the day, she suspected he might have a request.

“Miss,” Karasu started, lingering in the doorway while Anri wiped the chalkboard down. “I’ve been thinking… I want to help the first years coming to regionals for the first time.”

Anri smiled. “You always do keep a keen eye on your juniors,” she said with a twinge of admiration. 

She was already risking her job by helping Karasu with his underclassman friend, Hiori Yo. During Hiori’s first year at the school, he had attended the mathematics club and had thoroughly hated it, even though he had tried not to let it show on his face. Seeing someone so utterly unenthusiastic had made Anri’s heart sink, and clearly it had made Karasu worried too. He had come to her at the start of the current academic year, asking if she could mark Hiori’s attendance at the mathematics club while Hiori was actually going to the coding club instead. For the first few days she had been hesitant, but after discussing it with Ego, who was admittedly a bit desperate for new club members even if he would never admit it out loud, she had caved and accepted Karasu’s request.

Karasu rolled his eyes at Anri’s comment. “Just doing what’s necessary,” he said. “So, I was thinking. With regionals coming up so soon, would it be possible to come into school this weekend to run a mock event? On Sunday? A few of the first years have never been to anything like this before. I wouldn’t want them to get cold feet or blunder because of nerves.”

Anri frowned. “This Sunday?”

“Yeah. I’m free and after talking with the others, that would be the best date for them.”

“I’d have to discuss it with the senior staff. Sunday is awfully soon.”

“I get that it’s very short notice, but can we at least try? The school keeps a skeleton staff open on Sundays for the sports teams to practice, right?”

That was true. “I suppose…” Anri nodded slowly. “Yes, it’s not as if getting in would necessarily be an issue. We’d just have to get permission from the principal and then let security know we’d be here, so they can unlock the classroom for us.”

“That shouldn’t be too difficult. Anything to make our club succeed.”

The club was the pride and joy of the school, at least from an administrative perspective. In terms of grades, it was STEM where the student body excelled, and every year several top performers would go on to prestigious universities to study mathematics, science and engineering. All of that was compounded by the awards won by the mathematics club, and preparing the club’s members in the best way possible was a top priority.

And so, Anri finished wiping down the board and pulled out her phone. “I’ll go to the vice principal right now,” she said. “I reckon he’ll green light the idea without an issue. Hopefully before tomorrow we can send an email out to parents about this sudden change.”

The way Karasu’s mouth contorted into a large grin was evidence enough that he had gotten what he wanted. He was a sly one, that was for sure, and Anri suspected that perhaps there were some ulterior motives simmering beneath the surface. But his idea wasn’t harming anyone and was actually going to do the club some good. Even if there was something else going on, it didn’t really matter.

“Oh,” Karasu then said quickly. “Don’t forget to email Hiori’s parents.”

Anri raised an eyebrow. Was this connected to the ‘ulterior motive’ she suspected was present? “He’s not coming to regionals with us this year though?” she pointed out.

“I know, but he’s still technically on the club’s attendance.”

That, as well, was very true. “Thank you for the reminder.” Anri wasn’t about to lose her job over accidentally revealing she was covering for a student. 

“Thanks,” Karasu smirked. “Thank you for everything, Miss. See you tomorrow.” He then stuck his hands in his pockets and headed out.

The room fell into silence. There were a few things left to tidy up in the classroom so Anri went about setting everything in order, then she picked up a satchel, papers and pencil case form the front desk and started making for the vice principal’s office.

—-

“Well this is sudden,” Hiori’s mother huffed as she sat down at the dinner table that night, scrolling through something on her phone. 

“What is it, Dear?” asked his father.

“An email from the school,” she turned her phone around to show her husband. “This Sunday they’re running a mock mathletes day in preparation for regionals.”

“Have they ever done anything like that before?”

“I don’t remember them doing this last year.”

Across the table, Hiori had to bite the side of his cheek to stop himself from smiling. He hadn’t expected things to get moving this quickly. Whatever Karasu had said, it had worked out better than either of them could possibly have imagined. 

“What’s that?” he asked, feigning ignorance. 

“Oh, just something for the mathematics club, Dear,” his mother said. “Nothing for you to worry about.”

“Am I going into school on Sunday?”

A moment of silence settled. His parents exchanged a glance. 

“Do you need to?” his father questioned.

“You’ve already done plenty of events like this before,” his mother added. “Mocks are for the newcomers. Do you really need to go to something so trivial?”

A twinge of tension tightened in Hiori’s gut. He stifled a wary breath. “Why wouldn’t I have to go? Karasu will probably be going.”

“Because he’s head of the club,” his mother said. “He has to be there to help the first years.”

“Can’t I go help the first years too?”

His father scoffed. “What a waste of time that would be! No, you’re much better off here, doing exercises, than going in to hand-hold a bunch of second-rate newbies.”

This was all wrong. His parents were supposed to want him to get more involved with the mathematics club. That was what they wanted, wasn’t it? For him to throw himself head-first into mathematics and do anything and everything related to it, all for the sake of becoming one of the best, most world-renowned mathematicians on the planet.

For a moment, he considered giving in, letting reality just play out the way is parents wanted it to. That was what he had always done, no matter how upset it had made him… But not anymore.

Think fast, his thoughts screamed at him. 

His eyes darted between his mother and his father, searching for something, anything he could say to convince them. As long as he could do that, he would get out of the house on Sunday. He could sneak off to the meet-up.

Think! Think! Say something!

“I—“ he reached for the first thought that would form as words. “I think I need some hand-holding myself right now, actually.”

The silence that fell in the room was deafening. The way his mother and father looked at him was a mixture of confusion and horror.

“What?” his mother murmured. “Sweetie, are you struggling with your studies?”

“What do you need help with, Yo?” his father stammered desperately. “We’ll get a private tutor, extra classes, whatever you need.”

"None of that,” Hiori shook his head profusely. “No, my studies are fine. I… I’ve just been feeling a bit nervous in the build up to regionals. I think I might fumble on the mental arithmetic section.”

He was madly disgusted by the fact that his parents breathed heavy sighs of relief upon hearing his lie. They didn’t care at all that he was supposedly ‘still struggling’, all that mattered to them was that his studies weren’t impeded. 

“Well, that’s certainly more manageable,” said his mother.

“We can do some quick-fire practice if you’d like,” said his father.

But once again Hiori shook his head. He had to stand his ground here. Stay firm. “I think I need the environment to be more like the real thing,” he said. “Other people around. A teacher watching. That sort of thing. I think going in on Sunday would be best for that.”

His parents exchanged a concerned glance. 

“It’s all day though,” his mother said worriedly. “What time would you be back?”

His father picked up the phone and scrolled through the email. “Says here it starts at eight ends at five. So Yo would be home about half an hour after that.”

“That’s the same as a school day,” Hiori said quickly. “It won’t be different from any other day of the week.”

Another silence fell. This one was somewhat less tense though. Even if his parents still had scowls on their faces and it was clear that they weren’t necessarily comfortable with the idea of letting their son go, Hiori’s muscles were already beginning to relax. He had been around these two for long enough to know when they were letting their guards down.

He had won.

“Fine,” his mother eventually sighed, rubbing her temples. “You can go,” she snatched her phone back from her husband quite pointedly, tapping away at it. “Dear, I’ll send this to your work email. Make sure you print it off and sign it. We can’t have Yo-chan going into school tomorrow without it.”

“Yeah yeah,” his father drawled. “Yo, make sure you’re home before six on Sunday. Any later and your computer goes in the attic for a month.”

It wasn’t a lighthearted jab. That threat was serious. The guy sitting across from Hiori was a piece of shit through hand through and Hiori couldn’t even scowl at him. If he did, his phone might get taken away again. 

And so, he swallowed the encroaching disgust boiling in his stomach and put on his best fake smile. “I’ll come back as quick as I can,” he said as cheerfully as he could muster.

“You better had,” his father said coldly. “We wouldn’t want a repeat of what happened last Sunday now, would we?”

Hiori’s nose crinkled. Keep it together, he thought. “I’m so, so sorry I lost track of time back then,” he said. “It won’t happen again.”

He couldn’t wait to get out of this awful house. Every bone in his body was shrieking to get up and run away, escaping from this hell hole and finding somewhere better to live his life. And for the first time, his rebellion would begin to take form. No more appeasement. No more pandering. He would do something for himself, whether his parents liked it or not.

He needed Sunday to hurry up and arrive already.

—-

Madoka: Karasu…

Madoka: What’s going on?

Madoka: With the mathematics club?

CrowTabi: Oh that?

CrowTabi: Just a little something to help Hiori

CrowTabi: So his parents let him out of the house on Sunday

CrowTabi: He’s technically still a club member even if he never shows up so his parents got the email

Madoka: You do realise I’m in the mathematics club too, right?

Madoka: I’M meant to be going out with Hiori and Rin on Sunday!

CrowTabi: Oh wait…

CrowTabi: You’re just gonna have to skip on the club then

CrowTabi: Call in sick or smth

Madoka: Couldn’t you have come up with a slightly better plan to get Hiori out of the house?

CrowTabi: Don’t blame me for this

CrowTabi: It was Hiori’s idea

CrowTabi: He came up with it

CrowTabi: And he doesn’t know who you are yet, right?

CrowTabi: So of course he just thought it would be helpful for him

Madoka: God

Madoka: My favour with Miss Anri is going down the drain

CrowTabi: She won’t care if you miss this trust me

CrowTabi: It was arranged last minute so I doubt most of the club will make it

Madoka: I hope you’re right

Madoka: And I really hope this works

—-

Snow: Sunday is a go!

Snow: Meet me outside the front of the school

Snow: We can walk to the station together from there

Owl: You convinced your parents?

Owl: Dumb fucks falling for whatever you came up with

Snow: I think it was a stroke of genius

Snow: They’ll be none the wiser

Snow: Also

Snow: If the meet-up ends early for whatever reason

Snow: I have until six in the evening to get home

Snow: So I was thinking

Owl: Come over to my place again

Snow: Dang I was just about to ask that

Snow: Did you read my mind lol?

Owl: It was just the most obvious thing to say

Owl: Don’t get all high and mighty about it

Snow: So can I come over?

Owl: Duh

Owl: No one else can though

Owl: Just you

Snow: I wouldn’t want anyone else to come with us

Snow: I prefer the quiet

Owl: Quiet is easy

Snow: See we’re on the same page with this too

Snow: Can’t wait to see you on Sunday :D

Owl: We’ll see each other tomorrow

Snow: Oh, so you’re not quitting the coding club now that your detentions are done?

Owl: …

Owl: Shut up

Owl: I just don’t mind being in the coding club room anymore

Chapter Text

It was Sunday.

Hiori’s palms were sweating. He rocked back on his heels, clutching the straps of a one-shoulder backpack, glancing left and right. The thudding of his heart in his ribcage was the only distraction he had from the nervous thoughts spiralling through his head.

He was standing outside the front gates of the school, having managed to convince his parents that he could walk there alone just like any other day and wouldn’t need to be driven in. Had his parents come here with him, they would have personally escorted him into the school and up to the room where the mock event was taking place. There would have been no escape.

However, he was here, alone, waiting. He could only hope that his parents hadn’t secretly followed behind him like a couple of creepy stalkers. As much has he himself had a history of stalking due to his social isolation growing up, he did not want to find out that it was a family habit. Just a few more minutes and Rin would be here. 

Come on, he thought, his fingers playing with the extra strap length of his bag. Any second now.

“Hey,” a voice suddenly said behind him, coming from inside the school gates.

It wasn’t Rin’s.

In fact, it didn’t sound familiar to Hiori at all.

Turning, he was met with a boy standing in comfortable, casual clothing, his thick, black hair covering his eyes. He had an atmosphere of collectedness about him, perhaps a twinge of mystery. Very aloof. Hiori supposed he had seen this kid around school a couple of times — across hallways, on the way to class, while heading out at the end of the day. If memory served him correctly, this guy was a first year like Rin.

“Hello,” Hiori bowed his head politely, his brow creasing slightly. Was this boy from the mathematics club? Was he coming to lead any stragglers inside? Was he going to ruin the plan at the last step—

“You’re Snow, right?” the boy then asked. 

Hiori blinked. “Uh, yeah.”

A small smile curled onto the boy’s lips. “We meet at last,” he held out his hand. “Niko Ikki,” he said, “but you probably know me better as Madoka.”

Hiori’s eyes widened. That couldn’t be true, could it? “Madoka?” he gawked. “You… You go here?” he looked up at the school behind them, bewildered.

“You know how much I like my anonymity,” Madoka — no, Niko, said. “I’ve known about you for a while now. Apologies for not revealing myself sooner.”

Hiori was still staring, not quite over the initial reveal. “You’re a guy?”

Niko froze for a second. “Yeah?”

“Sorry,” Hiori shook his head. “I just always had the idea that you kept yourself muted because you were really a girl and didn’t want any trouble with sexist gamer bros.”

“I literally told you my mic doesn’t work.”

“I thought that was an excuse. Mics are replaceable.”

Any worries Hiori had been harbouring about his parents following him to school were now long forgotten. This bombshell of a reveal was hitting him almost as hard as the the time he had first met Rin in real life. “Don’t tell me Imp and Sei go here too,” he looked around, half-expecting them to suddenly come out of nowhere.

Niko just crossed his arms. “No, they’re definitely not from here.”

“And I’m meant to believe that because…”

“Because I’m a trustworthy human being.”

Hiori was unconvinced. “Okay, so do you know about Rin then?”

Niko nodded.

“And how long exactly have you known this?”

“Over a month.” 

“Seriously?" Hiori was at a loss for words. "Anything else you magically know while we’re at it?”

At that, Niko paused. His face went blank, the wind lightly tousling his hair. Then, he leaned in close, whispering in Hiori’s ear. “I know about your crush on Rin.”

The heat that flew to Hiori’s face was like fire. He froze up, jaw tense. “Crush?”

“Oh come on,” Niko leaned back. “I had an inkling about it before I even realised you two went to the same school as me. You’re not exactly subtle. Rin is just so socially stunted that he hasn’t realised how much he means to you.”

Well, this was awkward. Hiori couldn’t think of any retorts. He hadn’t been figured out this thoroughly since Isagi had clocked his crush earlier in the week. Yes, he did have a massive crush on Rin, and apparently that had become incredibly easy to figure out. Did anyone else know? Did more of his friends know? That would be embarrassing…

Before he could think of any sort of reply, a shape moved in his periphery. Turning around, his eyes made contact with Rin making his way up towards the school gates, dressed in all black with a baseball cap over his hair and a bag slung over his shoulder. As Rin got closer, Hiori couldn’t help but notice the bandages wrapped around his right hand. It was a rather shoddy job, the reams of gauze loosely bundled around his palm and wrist. Most likely, he had done it himself, one-handed, rather than asking for help. 

Hiori’s breath hitched, eager to know what had happened to cause the injury.

Rin walked up right next to Hiori, not bothering with any sort of greeting. “You ready?”

Hiori’s entire body felt warm. “Uh, yeah,” he nodded.

“Let’s go then,” Rin wandered past, heading in the direction of the train station, completely ignoring Niko.

“Umm,” Hiori stammered, running along after until they were side by side, “did you know then?”

“Know what?”

“About Niko?”

“Who?”

Hiori ground himself to a halt. “Well, neither did I,” he said. “This here,” he gestured to the younger boy, who was walking a few paces behind the two of them, “is actually Madoka. Crazy right?”

“I’m Niko Ikki,” Niko introduced himself again. “You know me as Madoka.”

For a few seconds, silence descended. Rin himself stopped walking. he just stared at the both of them, his eyes flicking between Hiori and Niko as if he himself were some sort of predator trying to decide which prey to focus on. In the end though, he just blinked, reaching up a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“Are you fucking serious?”

—-

Madoka: We’re on the train

Madoka: Curent status...

Madoka: Everything is going very well

CrowTabi: They didn’t overreact to your grand reveal then?

Madoka: There might have been a bit of stunned silence

Madoka: And then Rin shouted a bit…

Madoka: But I am happy to announce that it’s all calmed down now

Princess: What are the lovebirds up to? Are they making out yet?

Madoka: Of course not!

Madoka: They’re just sitting next to each other in complete silence

Madoka: I think Hiori is playing some kind of phone game?

Madoka: Rin is looking out of the window

Princess: Riveting…

Nijiro: This is perfect for them!

Nijiro: Don’t worry Chigiri, this is exactly what we want

CrowTabi: Sounds like Hiori is relaxed

CrowTabi: He likes silence

Nijiro: And likewise Rin likes silence too

Nijiro: Them simply existing together is a good sign

Princess: Okay… I’ll take your word for it

Madoka: I’ll keep an eye on them and update you throughout the day

Princess: My new favourite reality TV channel

Princess: Give me 5 seasons

Princess: Actually no don’t

Princess: They’ll never get together if their slow burn keeps dragging out like this

-—-

Going to an actual, real-life meetup like this was… weird. Rin kept staring out of the train carriage's window, unable to make any sort of eye contact with either Hiori next to him or Niko sitting across the aisle. For the entire previous night he had put off thinking about today altogether, busying himself with a paper cut-out project of an eagle owl capturing its prey, which he had found instructions for online. He had done every part of the process himself — drawing and colouring the design on paper, cutting it out, and then using a craft knife to very carefully cut specific areas so that the design would stand up on its own once constructed.

Unfortunately, he always had been somewhat clumsy when it came to his own safety. About half way through the process he had ended up fumbling with the knife, slicing his palm with the blade while trying to catch it. The pain had been instantaneous, ripping through him in a way that had been both irritating but also weirdly encouraging. 

Of course, he hadn’t told his parents about it at all. Instead, he had fished around for a first aid kit the family kept in the bathroom, covering the cut in a large bandaid and wrapping the whole thing in gauze bandages as best as he could with only one hand. The injury was now out of sight and out of mind, aching slightly if his hand moved too much. It was annoying, sure, but at the same time he didn’t exactly mind the pain.

What he was somewhat surprised by was how much Hiori kept looking at the injury.

The guy was clearly trying to be subtle about it, only sparing brief glances or a couple of seconds at a time before removing his gaze to return to his game. Still, it was obvious that he was interested in it. Thinking back to a couple of weeks ago, Rin remembered how attentive Hiori had been after the fight with Shidou. He had kept eyeing Rin outside the nurse’s office as if observing a thing of beauty, not revulsion. And when he had cleaned Rin's injuries, wiping away the blood, it had been so gentle yet purposeful, like frost blooming against his skin. He showed great care, and yet he didn't ever show pity. That was the same right now. It was a relief. A massive, massive relief.

“Does it hurt?” Hiori then suddenly asked out of the blue.

Rin turned to face Hiori. “What?”

Once again, Hiori was looking right at his hand. “Your hand. Does it hurt?”

Rin shrugged. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Did you dress it yourself?”

“Yeah. So?”

Hiori then closed his phone and slipped it into his pocket. “Give me your hand.”

Rin frowned. “Why?”

“The bandages are too loose. I’ll re-tie them for you.”

Without even thinking, Rin sighed and held his arm up. It was only when Hiori’s fingers danced across the gauze that it suddenly became apparent just how intimate this was for them. Hiori’s hands were cold, like ice, and the way they unwrapped the bandage was so careful, one would think he were handling fragile ceramics. 

“What happened,” he asked when he finished unwinding the gauze. He made a start with re-wrapping it around, the tension in the material now noticeably tighter, more secure.

Rin swallowed. Speaking was so much harder when the two of them were this close. “I just dropped a knife,” he said quietly, returning his gaze to the window lest he be completely unable to say anything. “It was just an accident.”

“Well as long as it doesn’t hurt.”

“I’ve had worse happen.”

Hiori chuckled. “Oh I can imagine.” He gave Rin’s hand a light squeeze, causing a thread of pain to suddenly shoot through his arm. “But I still think you need to be careful today, okay?”

Rin didn’t know if the squeeze had been intentional — a warning — nor not, but the meaning registered with him regardless. He got the message. Pain was a language he spoke very well, and whether not Hiori had intended to tell him something here, he would follow the advice.

This cyan-head really did have a way of not only calming him down, but also communicating with him in a way that didn’t come across as unnerving. 

When the bandage was securely tied to Rin’s wrist, the excess tucked away, the two of them resumed their usual silence. However, this time, they were closer together than before. Hiori must have shifted over a bit while holding Rin’s hand, because his thigh was now pressed up against Rin’s and as he played on his phone, his elbow routinely bumped against Rin’s chest. He mumbled out a quick apology for it every so often but it was something Rin didn’t try to stop.

If anything, what he was finding most uncomfortable was the fact that Niko was quite obviously watching them like this. Niko, Madoka, the silent observer, whatever else this guy wanted to be known as — he was good at remaining on the periphery, watching, not letting himself get too involved. Rin didn’t even remember seeing him around school very much… but then again, he didn’t bother remembering anyone who he didn't consider being worth paying attention to, so it wasn’t too surprising that Niko had slipped under his radar despite being a fellow first year. 

Why watch us though? he wondered. 

He would have asked, rather rudely at that, but if he made a scene he worried that Hiori might move away from him. For once, he really didn’t want that to happen, so he bit down on his tongue until he could taste iron in his mouth. 

Most likely, he was going to be doing a lot of that today.

Chapter Text

Contrarian. Fun-loving. A menace. Charles knew he was all of these things and he basked in it. Today was going to be a fun day one way or another, be it because he finally got to meet his gaming group in real life or because Snow and Owl — or should he say Hiori and Rin — were prime teasing material. 

Even if the two lovebirds were introverted at the best of times, there would be obvious signs of their even more obvious crushes, which would make them perfect targets to exploit… well, if Niko didn’t jump in to drag Charles away from having his fun, of course.

Charles and Nagi were already waiting for the rest of the group at Gion-Shiju station. There had been a discussion of meeting up with everyone at Kyoto station in the heart of the city, however Charles had decided he wanted to ride on the local trains for himself, and had dragged along a very groggy, displeased Nagi behind him. 

This wasn’t Charles’s first time in Kyoto. Ever since his family had made the move over to Japan for his father’s work (a nightmare of paperwork considering how many children the family had), the little imp had made a few trips into the middle of the city to mess around. He already knew where he was taking the rest of the gaming group — to a brand new arcade that had just opened up, located about five minutes away from Gion-Shiju station, situated along Shiju road. He was a ball of excitement standing outside the station’s platform barriers, rocking back on his heels, watching trains come and go.

“Are they here yet?” Nagi groaned, slumped on a public bench next to the barriers, playing on his phone. “If they don’t show up in five more minutes, I wanna go to the apartment Reo said I'm staying in.”

“Any minute now,” Charles buzzed, grinning. “Don’t get your hopes up that you can escape, lazy-ass.”

“Rude.”

“More like honest.”

And indeed, only two minutes later, the correct train pulled in and Niko wandered out of the doors. Two others, clearly Hiori and Rin, also rather unceremoniously hopped off onto the platform — their appearances finally revealed to Charles after all this time.

Blue hair? he thought with a raised eyebrow. Wasn't expecting that.

At a mere glance, it was clear that Hiori and Rin had formed a kind of duo, keeping more to themselves, while Niko strode ahead to meet the others. They were all through the barriers soon enough, and unsurprisingly it was Niko who spotted Charles first. 

“Enjoy your trip?” Charles joked, eyeing the two idiots lingering back, talking about something unimportant. 

Niko just let out a deep, long sigh. “They’re even worse in real life, trust me,” he muttered, leaning in close so no one else would be able to hear him. 

“Time for a whole day full of it,” Charles grinned back, whispering comically loud.

Next to them, Nagi yawned. “And I can’t leave now because…?”

At that moment, Hiori and Rin finally decided to catch up to their third wheel. They both had blank expressions on their faces, as if waiting for directions, neither of them making much of an effort to become the ‘leader’ of the group.

Introverts, Charles rolled his eyes. He was the token extrovert here, it seemed. Well, in that case, the rest of the group were simply at the mercy of his whims. “Now that you’re here at last,” he said confidently, skipping over any sort of greeting because what was the point? They all knew each other already. “Let’s go to Game Plaza!”

Hiori’s eyes noticeably lit up. “Game Plaza? The new arcade place?”

“Where else?”

The group fell into agreement rather quickly, if anything because Nagi was too lazy to object, Niko already knew about the day’s plans, and Rin seemed to just be trying not to turn around and leave. This day was certainly going to be… interesting. Meeting online to play video games, it seemed, was incredibly different from coming face to face with these people in real life.

At least Hiori seemed excited. 

-—-

Madoka: Okay, things are going well

Madoka: Just arrived at Game Plaza

Madoka: The lovebirds’ status?

Madoka: Still joined at the hip

Imp: (sent an image)

Imp: LMFAO look at them together

Imp: The idiots in love

BuzzyBee: Awwwwwwww

Shark: Cute cute

Princess: They should hold hands

Yoichi: Still hard to believe Rin is acting like this in public

Madoka: Honestly I can hardly believe it myself

Madoka: But I think it’s counterbalanced by the sufficient number of death glares he keeps giving the rest of us

CrowTabi: Okay guys stop

CrowTabi: No more candid photos

CrowTabi: It’s disrespectful

Imp: Oh you’re no fun

Princess: Come on Karasu, we’re all waiting for updates

Princess: Don’t pretend like you’re not also impatient to know more

CrowTabi: I mean it

CrowTabi: Quit it with the intrusion

CrowTabi: Or I’ll tell Hiori about this GC

Imp: BLACKMAIL!!!

Madoka: Dw Karasu

Madoka: I’ll make sure no one takes any more photos of them

CrowTabi: Thank you Niko

Nijiro: Hold on sorry I only saw these messages now

Nijiro: Game Plaza?

Nijiro: That’s where you are?

Madoka: Yeah

Madoka: That a problem?

Nijiro: No no, not a problem 

Nijiro: Just curious 

-—-

It was amazing. A real life arcade. Blaring, neon lights. Retro, eight-bit music playing from dozens of consoles. A thick scent of sweat, sherbet and soda lingering in the stuffy, indoor air. Perhaps to some it would have been stifling, but to Hiori, it was the purest definition of freedom.

Oh how he had wanted to come to this place ever since the news had first been announced of its construction. Of course, his parents would never have let him. In fact, he hadn't even told them about his desire to come here. They would never have agreed, so there had been no point. 

But here he was now, flitting from console to console, getting a hang of all the controls and working to beat the high scores of some well-established players. This multi-storey building was filled to the brim with every sort of game he could imagine, from shooters to fighting games to DDR, all at his fingertips, available at a moment’s notice.

And he didn’t have to explore this place alone! He had his group with him, the boys who had given him something to look forward to at the end of every day. Sure, apart from Charles they were a rather antisocial bunch. Niko was quiet and observant, mostly just playing the gacha games. Nagi had flopped down at the first console he had seen and was still there racking up points, and of course Rin was Rin, scowl and all, standing at the side, not playing anything. But it didn’t really matter to Hiori that the others were being introverted. He could live with that. Hell, he was like that himself most of the time. The four of them simply being here was enough to make his lips curl into a grin.

“Hey,” Rin’s low voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “You’re lingering…”

The two of them still hadn’t settled on any one game for a while. After having tried a hand at most of the consoles at least once, Hiori was still overwhelmed by the choices left to pick from, in a good way of course. In his unsure stupor of what to do next, he had ended up drifting to Rin’s side. It wasn’t a surprise that he had done this. If anything, it was pathetically predictable.

And perhaps it was a good thing that he had. Glancing around the room, his eyes landed on a two-player zombie shooter game with fake guns and a shared, large screen. He tilted his head in that direction.

“Wanna play with me?” he asked. “If it wouldn’t hurt your hand too much, of course.” Part of him suspected that the pain would actually be somewhat of a draw for Rin — pushing through the hurt could make him want to play even more. He seemed like the type to be like that, at least from the way he played survivor.

The tips of Rin’s ears turned pink in response to the question. He inhaled a sharp breath and lowered his chin. It was cute. Most likely, no one had asked him to do such a thing before. The closest Hiori could think of was when he himself has asked to play with Rin again in Dead by Daylight. Games really were one of the languages they understood best.

“Well?” Rin then murmured. “Are you just gonna keep standing there like an idiot?”

It was Hiori’s turn to be surprised. His eyebrows raised and his smile grew. “First to die pays for the other’s lunch,” he declared, making for the console.

“What the—“ Rin stammered, following behind. “That’s ridiculous. Pay for your own food.”

“Well what fun would it be without a bit of a challenge?”

“It’s a lukewarm challenge. Think of a better one.”

Hiori slotted his coins into the machine and picked up his gun. It was heavier than he’d been expecting. “Fine,” he said as the screen in front of them ran through how to play the game. “Loser has to do what the other says for the rest of the day.”

Rin’s eyebrows creased. “I’m not gonna be your slave.”

“Shoulda stuck with having to pay for lunch, then,” Hiori shrugged. “You did this to yourself. Now, sit back and let me eviscerate you!”

Their game started up after that, both of them getting more and more fired up the longer they played. One zombie fell at Hiori's hand, then another, and another. He couldn’t remember the last time he had smiled this much while playing a game. Even when he had started playing with the others, there had always been an air of melancholy hanging over his head as he had slaughtered his opponents. The images of his parents would appear in his mind, taking the places of his adversaries, and he would gun them down without so much as flinching. 

But here, his parents didn’t even enter his head. He had no need to care about their disapproval or their hollow words. All that mattered to him was making sure he won this game. That he beat Rin. That he made Rin’s beautiful face contort in such satisfying frustration — a frustration that was both Hiori’s own doing, and something he longed to help wipe away afterwards. He truly was an ultra-sadist through and through. Hopefully, that was something Rin didn't mind. He was still here, so that had to be a good enough sign, right?

The game came to and end and the final scores were tallied. Despite the intense, destructive fight Rin had put up, in the end he was no match for Hiori’s quick reflexes. The scores were clear — Rin: 2543; Hiori: 2556. By a hair’s breadth, Hiori had won.

And of course, that meant he would be the one calling the shots between them for the rest of the day. 

With a smirk, he put his gun back into its holster on the side of the console, glancing at Rin’s twisted glower as if it were the most handsome thing in the world. “I win,” he hummed, clasping his hands behind his back and tilting his head. “So, I say we go upstairs to the VR section.”

Rin looked as though he had swallowed a lemon. Nevertheless, he put his own gun back and started heading for a giant escalator in the middle of the room. “I’m not paying for your shit,” he said. 

“Roger that,” Hiori nodded, following along. “Should we go get the others too?”

In the end, the others seemed rather enthusiastic about playing some games in virtual reality (except for Nagi, who asked to stay on the consoles on the ground floor. Apparently standing up and walking around to play a game was ‘too much of a hassle’). And so, with a head buzzing from the new experiences, Hiori found himself heading up the escalator with Rin on the step below him. Charles, of course, was leading the group as usual, meanwhile Niko made up the rear, typing something on his phone. 

“Sorry about springing that bet on you so quickly,” Hiori said. He did feel a little sorry, but not enough to take it back. This was a nice excuse to be able to spend some time with Rin. Perhaps he would let himself be selfish and make the two of them slip off somewhere to do activities alone, away from Charles’ hyperactive nosiness and Niko’s astute observations.

Rin shrugged. “A defeat is a defeat,” he said, more nonchalant than Hiori had been expecting. The tips of his ears still harboured that light dusting of pink. “I’ll just have to gear up to crush you into oblivion next time. I won’t hold back, you know that right?”

The confidence made Hiori smile even more. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

-—-

Nijiro: Niko, what floor of Game Plaza are you on?

Madoka: Heading up to the second

Madoka: Want me to get you smth from the claw machines?

Madoka: I will expect you to pay me back

Nijiro: Nothing like that

Nijiro: Dw

Nijiro: Thanks for the info

Madoka: ?

Chapter Text

It started, for Niko, as a feeling. A sense that someone, somewhere, was watching the group. 

He was sitting on a couch at the edge of the VR sector of the arcade, eyeing Rin, Hiori and Charles as they geared up into headsets with the help of some members of staff. Of course the game was for a maximum of only three people, and with Charles having been so excited to play it and Hiori and Rin needing keeping together, Niko had decided to drop out of this round and play the next one. It would be his turn in about ten minutes, if he was lucky. It was fun watching Charles flail around with the headset attached to his face, wires protruding into the upper rafters of the floor. 

But it was precisely when the other three started to play that the weird feeling began. Niko didn’t believe in ghosts but nevertheless the feeling had him looking to his left and right, even behind the couch at the rest of the arcade, which was separated from the VR section by a massive panel of glass.

At first he saw nothing strange. The lights were admittedly rather dim and the neon tubes of neon shining across the floor and walls didn’t help with the obscurity, but after after a few glances, the weird feeling suddenly made perfect sense.

Because Niko ended up locking eyes with none other than Nanase Nijiro.

Okay, what the hell?

Nanase was peeking around the edge of the glass panel, dressed in an inconspicuous hoodie and jeans with a baseball cap and face mask. It was still quite obviously him though, despite the disguise. What in the world was he doing here?

After a few moments, his gaze drifted and he ended up catching sight of Niko staring at him. A very awkward, tense stalemate bloomed between them... until Nanase pulled his mask down under his chin and flashed a beaming grin.

Niko stood with a start. Quickly checking on the rest of the group, it was fortunate that neither Hiori nor Rin had seen anything, still lost in the virtual world. And so, Niko scooted away from the others, rounding the glass and coming face to face with the group’s little snooper.

“Fancy meeting you here,” Nanase said, his tone chipper. “Things going well with Rin and Hiori?”

“Keep your voice down,” Niko hissed, crossing his arms. “What if they hear you?”

Nanase’s face went blank. “Good point.”

In the end, the two of them stowed away a little further away from the VR section, near a clump of claw machines advertising Sanrio. It was a secluded space, hopefully far enough away that even if the others did come out of their game, they wouldn’t find Niko or Nanase immediately. 

“Okay, be quick and explain yourself,” Niko scowled. “We agreed to no direct intervening, right?”

“I’m not intervening,” Nanase shook his head profusely. “I’m sorry, I just had to come and see if Rin was okay.”

“He’s obviously okay. And he and Hiori are getting plenty of time to themselves.”

“Really?” for some reason, Nanase seemed genuinely incredibly relieved. “Oh, that’s such good news!” It was becoming quite clear from the way he was acting that there was more going on here the met the eye.

“What’s up? Did something happen with Rin?” Niko asked with a frown.

Nanase shook his head, his shoulders slouching. “No, nothing major. Just… last night,” he pulled out his phone, opening up his DMs. “Here. Read this.”

Niko didn’t feel especially happy going through someone else’s private conversations, but something strange was going on and he wanted to know if there was anything he could do about it. And so, he took the phone and skimmed over the texts.

Owl: I’m dropping out

Owl: Agreeing to go was such a stupid idea

Owl: Why the fuck did I ever say yes?

Nijiro: Oh come on Rin

Nijiro: It will all be fine

Owl: It’s so dumb

Nijiro: Has something come up with Hiori?

Owl: No

Nijiro: Then what is there to worry about?

Nijiro: Look, I get that it’s scary

Nijiro: And unfamiliar

Owl: I’m not fucking scared, idiot

Owl: I just

Owl: Fuck this

Nijiro: Srsly Rin if smth is going on, we can talk abt it

Owl: …

Owl: I hurt my hand

Owl: It’s bleeding really bad

Nijiro: WTF

Nijiro: Rin do you need an ambulance???

Owl: Don’t be so dramatic bumpkin

Owl: I just don’t want Hiori seeing this

Owl: What if he freaks out?

Owl: Or takes pity on me

Owl: Or something stupid like that

Nijiro: You wouldn’t want that?

Owl: It’s pathetic

Nijiro: Okay

Nijiro: I don’t really get it, but if that’s what you think

Nijiro: Remember back a few weeks ago when you got into that fight?

Nijiro: And me and Hiori took you to the nurse’s office

Owl: Yeah

Nijiro: After I left, how did Hiori treat you?

Owl: He was nice

Nijiro: Did it feel as though he was taking pity on you back then?

Owl: No

Nijiro: So why do you think it’ll be different this time?

Owl: Coz last time it wasn’t my fault

Owl: It was the antennae bastard’s

Owl: But this time I was just careless and dropped my craft knife

Nijiro: Well Hiori doesn’t know that does he?

Owl: I guess not

Nijiro: It’ll all be fine Rin, okay?

Nijiro: Go to the meet-up as planned tomorrow

Nijiro: Gauge Hiori’s reaction when he sees the injury

Nijiro: I’m sure he won’t treat you any differently

Nijiro: Think you can do that for me?

Owl: …

Owl: I’ll try

Nijiro: Yay!!!

Nijiro: I hope it all goes well

Well, that was somewhat unexpected. The entire day Rin had been acting weirdly normal (ignoring the usual gloominess and death glares, of course). He and Hiori certainly hadn’t been acting any differently from usual, sticking to each other as if they were glued together. To think that all this time, Rin had been nervous. 

“See?” Nanase sighed. “I feel bad for tagging along behind you guys in secret, trust me I do, but I was worried Rin might try to leave early at some point today and really didn’t want that to happen. So please don’t tell the others I’m here. Just let me linger. If Rin or Hiori comes across me I’ll just pretend it’s a coincidence that I’m here.”

This was mildly absurd. No doubt if Karasu found out about this, the group chat’s secrecy was finished. He'd be telling Hiori everything. But what else could Niko do? Tell Nanase to leave? After reading those text messages?

He sucked in a breath. “I’ve got to get back to the others,” he grumbled. “Do not make yourself conspicuous, got it?”

“It’ll be like I was never here,” Nanase said confidently. He then backed away, lowering his baseball cap over his eyes and pulling his mask back up. “You never saw me.”

A thread of caution still wove its way through Niko’s chest as he returned to the others. Plonking himself back down on the couch, he ignored the strange look the staff member in charge of the VR game gave him. After a couple more minutes, Hiori, Rin and Charles pulled their headsets off, looking various levels of dazed to be back in reality.

“Oh my god!” Charles beamed, bounding over to the couch and grabbing Niko by the hands. “You have got to try this with me!” he cheered, pulling Niko to his feet.

Hiori seemed a bit more out of it than Rin was, and both of them were murmuring away to each other about something. After a few moments, Hiori approached with a somewhat sheepish countenance.

“You and Charles can go again as a duo,” he said. “I’m thirsty. Me and Rin are going to the snack bar upstairs if you want us to grab you anything?”

“I’m good,” Niko said. At the very least, the plan to get Hiori and Rin alone together was working. “If you can’t find me and Charles on the way back, we’ll wander around until we run into each other again. And worst comes to worst, let’s reconvene at the entrance in an hour? I’ll text Nagi to let him know.”

That idea seemed to work for everyone, although Charles did grumble about perhaps wanting a snack, but he ultimately decided against it. By the time the group was preparing to split, Rin had an almost missable spark of relief in his features. After that, Hiori and Rin wandered off together and Niko and Charles were left to play another round on the VR headsets. 

“Look at them go,” Charles chuckled. “Idiots.”

“Can they just realise their mutual feelings already?” Niko sighed. 

Hopefully those two wouldn’t accidentally run into Nanase on their way to get refreshments.

—-

Part-time jobs fucking sucked. No one thought that more than Shidou Ryuusei. He hated being boxed into a shift that paid minimum wage, especially because he had been called in to run the lunch shift on a Sunday this week. His colleague had dropped out due to some illness. In all honesty, had it not been for the job’s location inside the new arcade in the middle of Kyoto, Shidou would simply have not shown up and waited patiently to get fired. 

But this place was fun. The atmosphere was alive with the heightened emotions of gamers and the social mixing of different people. Plus, he got free food at his food stall whenever he showed up, so while he might have despised the fact that it was his job, the perks were just about good enough keep him coming back.

Besides, Sae had shown the briefest hint of interest in the place back when Shidou had first landed the job. 

Sae was a funny one. He always tried to make it seem like he was the big, mature, perfectly logical master of everything, and yet beneath the surface Shidou could tell he longed for a little bit more freedom in his life. Tokyo U was a demanding place to study, even after Sae had switched away from studying medicine to doing psychology (a decision Shidou had talked Sae into going along with after months of Sae beating around the bush). Perhaps if or when Sae next came home, which hadn’t been for ages, the two of them could come here together?

Nah, he’d call this place tacky, Shidou laughed at his own thoughts. Tacky, half-baked, lukewarm—

Was that Itoshi Rin across the food court?!

Shidou’s brain did a double take. Because never in a million years would he have imagined that antisocial kid as the type to come here. Not from what Sae had said about him. Not from the impression given off by the closed off, argumentative, angry ball of rage who wandered around their high school. But that guy who had just walked into the food court definitely looked like Rin. The long lashes were far too ‘Itoshi’ to miss…

And it seemed as though little Rin-rin had a certain someone with him… just the two of them here. Alone.

Holy shit!

Within milliseconds, Shidou had whipped his phone out. 

Ryuusei: Long Lashes

Ryuusei: My dear

Ryuusei: Are you out of class yet?

Sae: Here

Ryuusei: I have seen something

Ryuusei: Something insane

Sae: No I don’t want you to buy it for me

Ryuusei: Nothing like that!
Ryuusei: It’s Rin-rin

Sae: ?

Ryuusei: I think Rin-rin has a boyfriend

Sae: That’s not funny

Ryuusei: I’m being serious!

Sae: Rin doesn’t even have any friends

Sae: Why would he be dating anyone?

Of course Sae didn’t know. The two brothers were still not on talking terms (that was probably Rin’s fault, given that Sae had complained about his brother not responding to attempts at communication for a while). 

For a moment, Shidou weighed up the morality of filming the younger Itoshi without permission. That setback lasted all of five seconds. If he was going to get Sae to believe any of this, he needed cold, hard proof. He had never pressed the recording button on his phone camera faster.

I guess this confirms that he’s into guys, Shidou thought. It seemed to be running trend in that family. Wonder who the other dude is. He’s quite the looker—

And then, Rin turned his head just enough to notice everything.

Time almost screeched to a halt as Shidou’s eyes locked with those teal pools of astonished hatred. They were on opposite sides of the food court, and yet the chill of animosity that sparked the second they caught sight of each other was palpable. Not that Shidou really cared. So what if this petulant sixteen year old didn’t like what he was doing? What was he going to do about it?

Stupid question. This was Rin.

“Hey!” the boy’s voice reverberated through the large open room. “Antennae bastard!” And with that, Rin was abandoning the pretty boy buying drinks to bound across the court, seeing red, clearly looking for a fight. 

Right now? Shidou’s mind sighed. Alright. If that’s what you’re after, bring it on!

Chapter Text

One moment, Hiori was eyeing a drinks stall selling refrigerated sodas and slushies, Rin standing at his side in comfortable silence. The next moment though, everything changed. Rin was gone. The loud sound of footsteps slamming into the ground echoed around the food court. By the time Hiori had turned his head, he was much too far away from Rin to pull him back.

It was the flash of blond hair he saw first, tips dyed pink. Then, he saw the devilish grin Rin was striding towards with rage-filled fervour. Shidou?

In an instant, terror filled his entire body. He had no idea why Rin and Shidou were such enemies but if the fight they had gotten into a few weeks ago at school had anything to say about it, then their relationship was decidedly quite terrible. And when Rin reached out and grabbed the scruff of Shidou’c collar across the counter of the stall Shidou was manning, the strain in their interactions became all the more obvious. 

Because Shidou was smiling. He was having fun winding Rin up, like a petulant brother-in-law who wanted to get on his new family member’s nerves, to see what made him tick. And Rin was falling for the bait hook, line and sinker. To an outsider, it was so obvious that Shidou was doing all of this on purpose, getting Rin to yell at him and make a scene. From what little Hiori did know about Shidou from school, he was aware that Shidou enjoyed revelling in this sort of chaos. It was something about him ‘exploding’? 

Whatever it was, Rin was getting roped into it and, if it continued, he was going to get himself kicked out. Stopping this nonsense was a top priority. There was no way Hiori was going to let this day be ruined now because of some petty argument. 

He was no stranger to quelling fights. He had done it before. So many times he would arrive back from school to his parents quarrelling with each other. On those days, when it seemed as though the perfect facade of the family they had built could crumble into dust, he would put on a soft smile, say he was doing his best, show off his good grades and look like a typical, diligent student. That would usually shut his parents up enough to keep them calm until he had stowed away to his bedroom to play video games.

Sadly, that wasn’t going to work here. He seriously doubted that Shidou was about to give a shit about grades or even good behaviour. Hell, even reminding him that he could be fired probably wouldn't work. No, what was necessary right now was doing what Rin needed. Becoming the key to getting Rin out of this situation. For a few seconds, Hiori could only stand there, watching, but he managed to swallow his nerves and started striding across the food court himself.

He could do this. He would become Rin’s 'key', opening the door to get Rin away from this encounter. Shidou could, quite frankly, get lost.

-—-

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” Rin’s voice growled, pulling Shidou in by the scruff of his collar. 

The cockroach looked so pathetic in his work uniform — a white polo shirt and branded cap — that it was almost laughable. But the pure levels of hatred this guy ignited within Rin were enough to override any sort of humour in the situation. Shidou’s contorted smile wasn’t helping. His face pissed Rin off so much it was unbearable. 

“What are you gonna do, Rin-rin?” Shidou asked, grabbing Rin’s wrist and yanking him off. “Gonna make a scene in front of your boyfriend?”

“My—“ Rin was so taken aback by the word ‘boyfriend’ that he stumbled over his words. “Shut the fuck up! Don’t ever talk about Hiori.”

“Oh, so he’s called Hiori?” Shidou mused. “And you didn't deny that he's your boyfriend. How cute."

"He's not!"

"Don't lie to me. It's so clear you care about him. Why don’t we give him a good show?” 

And with that, he reached out in an attempt to grab Rin by the face. Of course, Rin was able to step back just in time, but he had to let go of Shidou's collar to give himself space. The cutlery on the wall counter rattled, causing heads to turn to see what the commotion was all about.

Let them look, Rin’s thoughts seethed. Let them see everything!

He stared down his adversary. The two of them had never gotten along. This guy was always getting in Rin’s way, pestering him, annoying him, bragging about how he was on good terms with Sae. It was disgusting! And now he was trying to butt his way into talking about Hiori too. He had to leave Hiori alone no matter what. It wasn’t his place to get involved. 

“You’re gonna seriously regret this, Rin-rin,” he sighed, taking off his cap and slicking back his hair. “I’m winning this round. There are no teachers here to break it up.”

In one swift move, he volleyed over the counter and was opposite Rin in the middle of the food court. The people around them were starting to murmur. Some were getting their phones out to film whatever was about to ensue. The entire time, Rin’s blood boiled. He clenched his fists at his sides, preparing to punch. Opposite him, Shidou was still grinning like a maniac, that taunting smile beckoning Rin to move. To act.

To punch.

He lunged forwards, seeing red. Shidou returned the action. They were moving closer together, the seconds slowing to eternities as Rin stretched his hand out, ready to connect it with this cockroach bastard’s jaw—

“Both of you, stop it right now!”

It was like a bucket of ice water had been thrown onto both of them. A flash of cyan hair burst into Rin’s periphery. Both Rin himself and Shidou faltered their steps as a third person entered the fray, forcefully pushing his way between them just before their fists could reach each other. A hand pressed itself to Rin’s chest and gave it a decided shove, pushing him backwards. The same thing happened to Shidou, sending him staggering back into the front of his stall.

Getting his bearings, Rin couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Hiori had rushed in and broken the impending fight up just like that. He was glaring at Shidou, his fists clenched at his sides. A very tense silence descended for several uncomfortable seconds.

And then, he sighed and turned to Rin. There was a strangeness to his expression, something he had never exhibited before. It was so hard to read…

“What in the world are you doing?” he asked, sounding more tired than before. He took a few steps forwards, closing the gap between them. Reaching out a hand, he squeezed Rin’s arm. “Are you alright?”

All of a sudden, the rage and anger was little more than a simmer. This was bad. Rin had fucked up. He knew he had. He had caused such a scene when this was meant to be a fun day out. Why, all of a sudden, did he care so much about what other people were thinking? This had never happened before. But now Hiori was here, looking at him with those large, beautiful eyes, and all Rin could think was that he had done something very wrong.

Don’t go now… Please, don't go. Don’t abandon me—

“Aww, isn’t that sweet,” Shidou's horrifically grating voice threatened to stir up the furious atmosphere again. “Got your boyfriend with you now to play mediator?” 

“Shut up!” Rin spat. “Fuck off—“

“Nice to meet you, Baby Blue,” Shidou then… smiled? Why the hell was he smiling like that? It wasn’t the maniacal grin from before, rather it was something weirdly more mellow. More approving. Why?

Even Hiori seemed somewhat taken aback. He swivelled around, his brows creasing. “Me?”

“Who else would I be talking about?” Shidou asked, cocking his head with a smirk.

“Oh, you’ve got it wrong,” Hiori stammered. The tips of his ears flushed red and he fidgeted with his tracksuit sleeves. “We’re not together or anything.”

Shidou chuckled, rolling his eyes. “No way,” he shook his head. “I mean, look at you two! You’re on a date and everything!”

“I said shut the fuck up!” Rin said. He started to lunge towards the evil antennae bastard again but Hiori grabbed his arm, holding him back. 

“Carry on with that and we’ll get kicked out,” he said sternly. “Come on, we don’t have to stay here,” with that, he gave a polite bow in Shidou’s direction. “Apologies for causing a fuss. Please don’t try to make this worse.”

And with that, he started to lead Rin away, back to the entrance to the food court. All Rin could do was follow dumbly, as if hit with some kind of tranquilliser. Luckily, Shidou didn’t follow them. All that remained were the nervous looks of the other people around them, watching, following them with their gazes. 

They were all afraid.

Let them be. It didn’t matter what they thought. Hiori was still here. He hadn’t run away yet. So everything was alright.

“Say,” Hiori’s voice then reached Rin’s ears as they stepped onto the escalator to go back downstairs. “I’m kinda hungry.”

Shit… they hadn’t gotten anything from the food court after all. No drinks. No snacks. Nothing at all.

“Hiori, I’m…” Rin trailed off. Had he really been about to apologise? It made him vaguely nauseous just thinking about it. In the end, he just kept his mouth sealed in a tight line.

But he had fucked up. All of this was his fault. It was because of his anger issues that now there was no way they were going back upstairs. Not with Shidou still lurking around. In fact, the entire building was starting to feel constricting, as if there was no escape. It was horrible. How were they supposed to get food now?

But then, just like so many other times before, Hiori let out a small sigh and said the exact thing Rin needed to hear in that moment. “Say, that ochazuke place you said was good is just across the road from here,” he pointed out. “What was it called? Chazu Chazuke? Wanna go eat there? Just the two of us, not the others.”

-—-

So, the Baby Blue boyfriend really did have quite the effect on little Rin-rin, it seemed. 

As Shidou settled back into his stall, letting out a bored yawn, disappointed at how dull the encounter had ended up being, he pulled his phone out again. Indeed, Rin may have rushed over as fast as he could, but before that Shidou had snagged just enough time to snap a few photos of the happy couple. 

Ryuusei: (Sent an image)

Ryuusei: Told ya

Ryuusei: Boyfriends

Sae: You don’t know that

Sae: Quit taking candid photos of my brother

Ryuusei: Could just anybody stop Rin-rin from fighting with me?

Sae: What?

Ryuusei: Literally just now, Baby Blue here managed to talk your brother out of throwing hands with me

Ryuusei: It was like magic

Ryuusei: Rin-rin went from screaming and shouting to walking away in silence!

Ryuusei: Looks to me like Baby Blue a very special someone

Sae: Of course you tried to start a fight

Ryuusei: It's not my fault!

Ryuusei: I was just doing my job

Ryuusei: It was Rin-rin who ran at me

Ryuusei: I was defending myself

Sae: I’ll believe that when I see the CCTV footage

Ryuusei: Believe what you want, Long Lashes

Sae: Watch your tone with me, Demon

Ryuusei: Oh I love it when you’re assertive

Ryuusei: Do it more

Sae: No

Sae: Changing the topic

Sae: So Rin finally found someone?

Ryuusei: Aww are you gonna get all protective big bro on him?

Ryuusei: Gonna come all the way back home to give Baby Blue some shovel talk?

Sae: Not at all

Sae: This is a good development

Sae: Rin needed this

Ryuusei: You think Baby Blue might be able to convince Rin-rin to answer your calls soon?

Sae: Who knows

Sae: But at least he has someone by his side now

Sae: Don’t disturb them again

Ryuusei: They already left

Ryuusei: Also, one second Darling

Ryuusei: Got a customer

Sae: I’m going to my next lecture

The boy who approached the stall looked vaguely familiar. It was difficult to tell who the guy was under his baseball cap and face mask, but he likely went to the same school as Shidou. He was somewhat skittish, looking left and right as he came to the counter.

He didn’t ask for refreshments.

“That fight just now,” he said instead, “that was pretty alarming. Are you alright?”

Shidou just rolled his eyes. “That wasn’t a fight. My blood is barely pumping,” he grumbled. “No possibility of an explosion with that one. Disappointing.”

The boy laughed awkwardly. “Well, it's good to know you’re okay, at least,” he visibly smiled under his mask, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Did you see where the other two guys went by any chance?”

Shidou just shrugged. “Hell if I know.”

He didn’t care about whatever Rin-rin was up to now. Clearly, the Baby Blue boyfriend, Hiori, was able to calm him down enough to stop him from acting out in public. Trying to chase after him to continue the fight would be pointless. 

And besides, Sae had said not to disturb the happy couple. If Sae himself was happy with what Rin was getting up to, then who was Shidou to get in the way?

Chapter Text

Was this real? Was this really happening? Hiori couldn’t quite believe it himself, but here he was, sitting opposite Rin at the only two-person table inside this tiny restaurant. Rin hadn’t been lying when he had said the place was small. There was a counter with five seats to eat right next to the open kitchen, and then a single two-person table and a single four-person table for non-solo customers. That was it for seating. For a place right in the middle of Kyoto, it was a miracle it was able to stay so hidden. Out in the residential districts it was quite normal to find places like this, family-owned restaurants that served very few people and specialised in only one or two dishes, but in the centre of a packed city, even most smaller joints usually ended up getting bought out by bigger chains or going out of business due to the competition.

But this place was rather quaint. Rustic. It didn’t take itself too seriously and that was a relief. There was no need to act like you were high and mighty here. All you came in for was ochazuke, and as long as you were enjoying your meal, that seemed to be all that mattered.

Rin currently had his head buried in the menu, not making any attempts at conversation. Honestly, that was to be expected and, if anything, Hiori actually preferred it that way. Restaurants were for eating. Conversing with your mouth full was rude. They didn’t have to talk, as long as they were both here with each other.

Still, it was just about settling in that the boy across the table was the one who Hiori had been crushing on for so long. Boyfriend… he thought, splitting his chopsticks and rubbing away the splinters. That’s what Shidou called me…

It had taken every ounce of strength and willpower in his body to not comment too much on it in the heat of the moment. A quick mutter of denial had hand-waved it away, but the word still stuck in the forefront of his mind like a fly caught in a spider’s web. Boyfriend. Boyfriend!

Was it a crazy thing to presume? Did the two of them actually look like a couple? In fairness they were alone, having long since abandoned the others and even left the arcade just to eat lunch together. It didn’t matter if they planned to return to the rest of the gaming group after this, the fact of the matter was that they were alone right now...

It really would look like a date to someone on the outside, wouldn’t it?

The notion made heat crawl up Hiori’s neck and into his face. After all these months. After having reached out to Rin that fateful day in that Dead By Daylight lobby, the two of them had come so far. He had fallen for Rin, for Owl, as little more than his usual burst of frivolous crushing, but this time the feelings had stuck around. It was different from when he had liked Karasu. It was different from when he had liked Isagi. And with the flickers of rebellion now urging him to go against his parents' wishes, doing only what he himself wanted to do, was it such a bad thing to want to wonder what genuinely dating Rin could be like?

Rin… can I date you? Would you go out with me—

“Ready to order?” A cheerful, college-aged woman then suddenly asked, stopping next to the table with a notepad and pen. 

Sparing a glance across the table, Hiori saw that Rin barely lowered his menu but his nod was easy enough to make out. “Taichazuke,” he mumbled.

“And classic ochazuke for me, please,” Hiori said, “with a side of grilled fish.”

“Sounds good,” the waitress nodded, scrawling down the order before taking the menus away. 

As she left, Hiori couldn’t help but notice the knowing look she cast back at the table for a split second. Did she think they were on a date too? Hell, did the rest of the world think they were dating right now?! The notion was so outlandish and yet paradoxically plausible that it made Hiori almost burst into laughter.

Only the awkward, almost flustered expression on Rin’s face silenced any chuckles. He was buried in his phone now, having replaced the menu with it, and this time his face was more visible. He looked like he was trying his absolute best to appear nonchalant but the facade wasn’t very convincing. 

Does he think we look like a couple too?  

Not that Hiori would ask. But the possibility was there. 

-—-

It was taking every ounce of willpower in Rin’s body to not do something he would regret. What that ‘something’ was, he didn’t even know himself. Run away? Lukewarm and cowardly. Lash out at the waitress for taking the menu away? Hiori would hate that. Ask if they could leave? Too late for that.

As things stood, all he could do to avoid looking at Hiori — mesmerising, calming Hiori — was bury his head in his phone and text Nanase.

Owl: I think I’m on a date

Owl: Idk what to do

Owl: I hate this

Nijiro: Oh?

Nijiro: Where???

Owl: My favourite ochazuke restaurant

Nijiro: Awwwwwwwww it’s cute that you invited Hiori to such a special place!

Nijiro: That’s so sweet of you

Nijiro: A perfect choice!

Owl: Hiori invited me

Owl: He did all of this himself

Owl: It’s so fucking pathetic

Nijiro: Elaborate

Owl: I made a scene

Owl: Shidou was at the meet-up spot FOR SOME REASON

Owl: And I lashed out

Owl: Because that Cockroach is evil

Owl: But then Hiori did this weird thing that calmed me down

Owl: And asked if we could come here to eat because it’s close by

Nijiro: I see

Nijiro: First off

Nijiro: Hiori really is a Rin whisperer lol

Owl: Shut the fuck up

Nijiro: Well whatever happened

Nijiro: You’re doing great

Nijiro: Don’t back down now

Nijiro: Try to enjoy yourself

Owl: HOW?

Owl: He keeps looking at me

Owl: He’s RIGHT THERE

Nijiro: You’re gonna eat good food right?

Owl: Yeah

Nijiro: And Hiori is happy?

Owl: I think so?

Nijiro: If he’s still with you then I’m sure he is

Nijiro: See! Right now things are going fine

Nijiro: Just keep doing what you’re doing

Owl: That's it?

Nijiro: Well

Nijiro: Maybe stop talking to me and start actually talking to Hiori

Nijiro: Texting while on a date is kinda rude

Owl: Dating rules are stupid

Nijiro: Maybe, but do give your future boyfriend some proper attention

Owl: Future boyfriend?!

Nijiro: You heard me ;)

The scowl that twisted onto Rin’s features was probably noticeable to anyone who glanced at him for even just a millisecond. He didn’t care to try and fix his expression, but he did put his phone into his pocket and turned his attention properly towards his ‘date’. God, that word still felt so wrong to use here. They weren't 'dating'. It was still novel calling anyone 'friend', let alone 'partner'. But if this wasn't a 'date', then what was it meant to be?

Well whatever it was meant to be called, Rin took a deep breath and swallowed. Apparently, he was just meant to ‘keep doing what he was doing’?

Fat load of good that advice is…

“Hey, Rin?” Hiori then piped up across the table. “Does your hand hurt at all?"

"Huh?" Rin had almost completely forgotten about his injury. He flexed his bandaged palm. A dull, numbing pain snaked up his hand. "It's fine," he grumbled. 

"The situation back in the arcade didn't re-open the wound or anything, did it?"

"No."

Hiori let out a deep sigh of relief. "That's good, then," he said. He then thumbed his chopsticks, turning them over in his fingers. "You said that ochazuke helps calm you down. Do you think it’ll make you feel a bit better? After all that stuff with Shidou, I mean.”

The obvious answer to that was to reply with ‘of course’, but the sheer level of unfamiliar nerves now pulsing through Rin at the idea of being on a 'date' almost seemed to counterbalance that. “Maybe…” was all he could manage to mumble out in the end.

“Aah, well then let’s hope it works,” Hiori replied.

God, why was this suddenly so difficult?! The two of them had never had trouble conversing before. Not online or even in-person at school. They didn’t force conversations because they had never felt the need to, but this time it was as if Rin was desperately reaching for something to say, anything to keep Hiori’s attention solely on him. Not that Hiori was doing much better than him; even he could see that Hiori’s fingers were fidgeting and he kept darting his eyes about the place.

Was he uncomfortable? Was this situation telling him that coming out to eat alone together was a mistake? The seed of the notion planted itself into Rin’s mind right as their two bowls of ochazuke were placed down in front of them. All he could do was stare over his bowl at Hiori, unable to say a word.

“Oh, do cheer up, both of you,” the waitress then said out of nowhere.

“Huh?” Rin’s entire body tensed.

“What?” Hiori stammered.

“First times can be awkward, I get it,” she laughed, scratching the side of her head. “Been there, done that. Tell you what, if things go well now, you can have ice cream dessert on me. Would that do to get you to talk a bit?”

Rin didn’t even know what to think. Why in the world did this complete stranger give a shit about their relationship? What did it matter to her? What was she trying to do? He wanted to curse her out, to tell her to fuck off and get out of their hair. Bribes and teasing were such a lukewarm way to try and do business.

But then, Hiori chuckled out a reply. “Sounds good,” he smiled. “Thank you,” he then turned to Rin, resting his chin on his hand and tilting his head. “Time to get talking.”

The waitress gave him a sly wink, which made the tips of his ears turn pink (such a satisfying colour against his cyan hair), and she wandered off again. Instead of trying to unpack what the hell had just happened in that brief interaction, Rin instead took up his chopsticks and shovelled his ochazuke into his mouth. The tea-covered rice really was refreshing, a hearty source of food that always did its job to stabilise his mood no matter how many times he ate it. The more he ate, the more he felt the tenseness in his shoulders begin to relax.

“You know,” he then heard Hiori say, “I’m not actually a fan of ice cream…”

Rin hummed. “It’s too sweet for you, right?”

“Yeah… sorry for agreeing to that thing the lady said. I remembered you saying you like sweet things and thought maybe you’d like some free dessert. Just in case the ochazuke doesn’t work its magic.”

Was that what Hiori was thinking right now— that the reason why Rin was being so awkward and standoffish was because of the Shidou situation? In fairness, it was a valid guess. In any other circumstance it would have been a correct assumption. 

“I’ll eat your ice cream, for you,” Rin said. “It’s another thing that calms me down.”

“You've mentioned before,” Hiori chuckled. "Makes it easier for me. If you ever get angry, we can go find an ice cream parlour somewhere."

Had Rin told him already? He didn’t remember. But nevertheless, the fact that Hiori had remembered was enough to make his chest flutter. Why was it that Hiori had always been so different from everyone else in the world? It was as if his very existence made life a little bit better, free from the constant swirling of hatred and anger. 

Feelings were still something Rin didn’t really understand, especially romantic feelings. He knew people got them. He knew he had them right now. He knew that his were directed at Hiori. But what exactly they were, how they came about, why they were so poignant, all of it was new. Confusing. Scary. And it was weird that Rin found it so difficult to engage with them. He liked to think that he barely ever got scared. If he did, it was him knowingly putting himself in a scary situation to let himself feel the thrill of fear.

The thrill...

Was that, perhaps what he should be doing right now? Letting himself fall head-first into these weird, unfamiliar feelings, taking in the fear they gave him and using it to feel that same thrill? Watching Hiori eat, seeing the way those deep, blue, owl-like eyes lit up with every bite of food, it began to settle in that, perhaps, letting these feelings grow wasn’t such a bad thing. 

Maybe Nanase was right… Rin remembered back to the first time he had ever confessed these feelings to anyone. Nanase had told him not to try abandoning them, even though that was all Rin had wanted to do. Nanase was right... Just this once though. He's usually wrong.

“Hey...” Rin's mouth opened, starting to talk before he could stop himself. “After we're done in town, come over to my house again.”

Hiori looked up from his ochazuke. “Really?" he blinked. "Is that okay?”

“I have video games and horror movies. We can do something with them. Either one.”

“Is this an invitation?”

Heat scratched itself across Rin’s cheeks. His brows knitted. “If you don’t want to, just say so.”

And then, Hiori laughed. It was such a genuine laugh too, lacking any hint of malice. “Gaming sounds like fun,” he said. “You… you do have two controllers, right?”

As a matter of fact, Rin did. And Hiori would be playing with the one Sae had always used. Was it ideal? No. Would it threaten to resurface old memories that Rin had kept locked away in the back of his mind for ages? Probably. But would it give him the opportunity to sit next to Hiori some more, hear his voice, be alone with him? Absolutely.

If falling head-first into these scary, unfamiliar feelings was what would give Rin the biggest thrill, then revising these part of his past was going to become part of the challenge?

Hiori swallowed another mouthful of his food. “That promise of free ice cream really did get you going,” he said cheerfully. “It's nice seeing you be more assertive. Talking more."

Rin rolled his eyes. “I just don’t choose to waste my breath on trivial bullshit.”

“Let me guess, that would be ‘lukewarm’ behaviour?”

“Obviously.”

-—-

Nijiro: Okay UPDATE EVERYONE

Nijiro: Rin texted me

Nijiro: He and Hiori are eating lunch together

Nijiro: Alone

Nijiro As in

Nijiro: ON A DATE

Princess: Fucking finally

BuzzyBee: I wish we could see it!!!

BuzzyBee: Madoka send pictures!!!!!!!!

Madoka: Sorry guys, they did this on their own

Madoka: I've got no idea where they are rn

Imp: They abandoned us!!!

Sei: Can I go home now?

Madoka: Not a chance

Yoichi: No way

Yoichi: That doesn’t sound like Rin at all

Nijiro: And here’s the kicker

Nijiro: The one who called it a date

Nijiro: WAS RIN

Nijiro: HE TOLD ME HE WAS ON A DATE

Madoka: God if only we knew where they are

Nijiro: It's SO CUTE

Nijiro: Apparently they've gone to Rin's favourite restaurant!

Nijiro: Sadly I lost sight of them after the whole thing with Shidou went down

Madoka: The WHAT?

Princess: Wait hold on

Princess: I'm ignoring that Shidou is somehow magical there

Princess: Nanase wdym you lost sight of them?

Nijiro: Aah shit

Nijiro: You saw nothing

Nijiro: Lemme just delete that evidence real quick

(Nijiro has deleted 1 message)

Princess: No dude we all saw that

Princess: Are you stalking the meet-up or smth?

Madoka: If he speaks, Karasu kills us all

Princess: Oh 

Princess: Nanase

Princess: Don’t do anything stupid

Nijiro: I won’t!

Nijiro: Promise

CrowTabi: Okay hold on a second

CrowTabi: Wtf is going on?

Chapter Text

Lunch ended up being a lovely experience. Hiori found himself chuckling and smiling like a child in a video game store. It was especially cute when Rin received his free portion of ice cream dessert, doubled up of course since he took Hiori's portion as well. His eyes lit up when he ate sweet things in a way he was undoubtably unaware of himself. It was a shame that Hiori couldn’t take a photo of that adorable expression to look at whenever his situation at home became completely depressing and he needed a mood booster, but he wouldn’t risk calling attention to it and making it disappear forever. Besides, given how much his parents went through his phone, no doubt they'd question any photos they found.

The two of them split the bill and headed back across the street to the arcade. The hour was almost up and they were meant to be reuniting with Niko, Charles and Nagi. And indeed, after a few minutes of lingering about the entrance, the other three appeared from the various places they had been having fun, approaching the duo with a combination of smiles and bags of merch from the claw machines upstairs. 

“Okay,” Charles sounded rather chipper, hands on his hips. “Where to next?”

“Don’t you have an itinerary for the day?” asked Niko.

“I just wanna do stuff that’s fun. So, any ideas anyone?”

Nagi piped up first. “Can I go to the apartment Reo picked for me and sleep?”

“Of course not,” Charles chastised. “Niko, any better ideas?”

Niko pinched his chin. “What about a movie?”

Hiori raised an eyebrow. “A movie?” he had never been to a movie theatre before.

“That’s a great idea! What’s on?” Charles was already flicking though his phone to find the nearest place they could go. 

While everyone descended into discussing which movie to watch and what time would be best to go watch it, Hiori glanced over at Rin, who was standing there in staunch silence with a dark glower on his face. He wasn’t saying anything but the intention behind that expression was clear: he didn’t really want to go. And Hiori had the sneaking suspicion that if it weren’t for the two of them being able to spend more time together, then Rin would have already said the idea was stupid, turned on his heel and gone home. 

But for now, he was being quiet. And until he opened his mouth to protest, Hiori would let things continue. Because this, if anything, was showing him that Rin was able to make an effort. That he wasn’t the static, monstrous demon of rage that everyone at school painted him as due to his antisocial attitude. 

The group decided on their movie rather quickly, and that was that. This was going to be Hiori’s first time ever at a movie theatre.

-—-

This day was one of the most difficult, insufferable things Rin had ever put up with in his entire life. But for some reason, Hiori's mere presence here was pushing him to keep taking step after step, going along with these dumb plans, not throwing a tantrum and leaving at the first opportunity.

He had never known how to behave in a group of friends. Until his brother had abandoned him, he had never cared to find out. Before Sae had gone, he had either occupied himself alone or managed to get other people to do what he wanted simply by being better than them at everything. But these days, he had retreated more than ever into his own isolation, and that was coming back to bite him as the friend group entered the movie theatre.

At least he was able to get some snacks. The ice cream from Chazu Chazuke had been tasty, sure, but he was still craving something sweet to keep his more fiery side at bay until he could escape back to the Kyoto suburbs. A large bucket of toffee popcorn did the trick. He refused to share any with Charles, so Charles ended up buying a shared bag of kappa ebisen prawn crackers to eat with Niko. Nagi bought a regular popcorn, mumbling a metaphorical thanks to his billionaire 'boyfriend' as he tapped his card at the till. 

Unlike everyone else though, Hiori went into the movie with nothing. Thinking back on their previous conversations, it made sense. He wasn’t partial to sweet food. Still, there had been several savoury options available. Perhaps he just wasn’t hungry after having just eaten lunch?

The movie was… okay? At least no one bothered Rin for the duration of it. He did however find its contents incredibly dull, since it wasn’t a horror or even a thriller, just some stupid superhero movie with flashy effects and a feel-good ending about love and happiness. The villain had been the coolest part, but it was annoying that he didn't die at the end, instead changing his ways and becoming a peaceful, reformed man.

Weak and disgusting.

By the time the group left, Rin was beginning to feel incredibly drained. All he wanted to do was leave. He, for once, understood where Nagi was coming from. But he couldn’t just go now, not when he had already made plans to go back to the suburbs with Hiori. He had to wait for Hiori to make the call to go, or else they would be returning separately and wouldn't be able to spend any more time together.

Hiori seemed to be enjoying himself a lot. He was conversing with Charles and Niko quite enthusiastically as they walked back to the main foyer, discussing all the plot threads, the twist he had figured out ten minutes in, various easter eggs, and a bunch of other things. It was such a different look on him, so free from any and all expectations, just a teenage boy having fun with his friends.

It was still quite unbelievable that Rin was being included in this.

He was used to living life on the periphery of this sort of thing. He would see other people hanging out, watch as groups of friends made plans together at school, but he was never involved himself. He was weird. Destructive. Dangerous. He wasn’t someone who should be allowed into a social gathering, lest he ruin it for everyone. It was a truth he had accepted long ago, one that had been subtly drilled into him by his parents ever since he was a young child causing problems at elementary school.

But here, with Hiori, he had a lifeline to a friend group. Did he consider them his ‘friends’? At this point, even he himself wasn’t sure. But when Hiori turned to him with a smile and a glint of joy in his eyes, that isolated little boy who had only ever had an older brother for company was allowed to reach out for someone else. 

Despite all of this though, Rin was still fed up. Walking around with these people was getting tiresome. He wanted to go home with Hiori and play video games. At this rate, they would barely have an hour to be alone together before Hiori had to hurry off home himself. 

And then, right when the group looked like they would be moving on to their next destination, Hiori suddenly leaned in a bit closer to Rin and piped up.

“Really sorry guys,” he said sheepishly, “I think this is where I’ll have to call it a day,” he glanced over at Rin. “Is it okay if me and Rin head back? You guys can go on without us.”

What? Rin could hardly believe what he was hearing. Hiori wants to go back as well?

The others looked at him for a moment, then Charles snorted. “You and Rin?” he raised an impish eyebrow. “Got somewhere the two of you need to be?”

Hiori laughed awkwardly. “Well, you know… Umm… My parents want me home by six. I agreed to spend some time with Rin before that. It’s already almost three in the afternoon.”

Niko hummed, crossing his arms. “Fine by me,” he, surprisingly, didn’t seem that bothered. “I mean, if you wanna enjoy your date, who are we to stop you?”

“Date?” Hiori stammered.

Rin felt like his face was on fire. Yet another person was saying they looked like they were on a date… or in this case, going on a date. First that evil cockroach Shidou, then the waitress at Chazu Chazuke, and now Niko! 

“Shut up,” Rin muttered, stepping closer to Hiori and glaring at the rest of the group. “Quit joking around. We’re going now whether you find it funny or not.”

Charles let out a laugh. “Oh we don’t find it funny.”

“Then quit laughing.”

“Make me.”

Before Rin could do or say anything he would regret, he felt a calming hand on his arm as Hiori stepped between him and Charles. “Well, you heard us,” he said with a nonchalant shrug. “I think it’s time for us to get outta here,” he smiled at the other three. “Thank you for today. Seriously. I’ve never done anything like this before, so doing it with all of you really was amazing.”

Niko nodded. “Glad we could be here for you.”

Charles agreed. “We have to do this again some time! Promise me you’ll say yes. Promise right now!”

Nagi blinked, half as out of it as Rin was. “If you’re leaving, can I go too?”

In response, Hiori grinned. “You guys figure that out among yourselves," he then started tugging Rin by the arm, assertive but not overbearing. “See you all online, and thank you again for today.”

Rin didn’t bother with a goodbye. Part of him was still a bit surprised that Hiori was the one ushering them to go back to his house. If this was the case, then it likely wasn’t because he felt obligated to, or else he would have been dragging out this meet-up until the last possible second.

He want’s to be with me, the notion was still so novel. He likes being with me.

No matter how much Rin tried to shake the thought, to convince himself that it was just his dumb, stupid crush giving him the idea, when he felt Hiori’s fingers still clinging to his arm, he couldn’t help but be sure. Because Hiori didn’t like liars. He didn’t like coaxing people along only to pull a fast one on them. He was clear, precise, and had always been honest with Rin.

So right now, being alone together was what Hiori wanted more than anything.

-—-

Nagi ended up going to his (well, Reo’s) apartment soon after that, leaving Niko and Charles to spend some more time together before they would have to part ways. For a little while, they wandered around central Kyoto together, going into stores, buying some anime merch, and stopping by a cafe to pick up some drinks. They hadn’t had a proper lunch, instead just snacking on whatever unhealthy food had come their way over the course of the day. It didn’t seem to bother Charles at all, and Niko couldn’t help but suppress a smile watching his contrarian friend be himself. 

It was when they were standing outside a merch store, eyeing one of the gigantic Madoka Magica figurines in the window, that a third person joined their party.

“Found you at last!” Nanase’s relieved voice took Niko by complete surprise. “Where did you guys even go?”

Niko bit back a yelp of shock, darting his gaze to the newcomer’s presence. Nanase was still wearing his 'undercover' get-up, although he had clearly helped himself to some of the crane games in the arcade. He had several shopping bags filled with prizes in his hands. 

As Niko let out a sigh of relief that it was only his classmate who had approached, Charles piped up. “Hmm? Who are you?” His brain then seemed to catch up. “Wait… are you Nijiro? From the group chat?!” he let out a bellowing laugh. “The one who's been stalking us the whole time!”

Nanase pulled his face mask down, revealing a face red with embarrassment. “Karasu is gonna kill me," he mumbled. "He completely tore me apart in DMs. Apparently because of this he's going to reveal the group chat to Hiori at the first opportunity. I was just worried about Rin, I swear!” he huffed. “Speaking of, where is he?”

Niko could only roll his eyes. “Sorry, you missed him. He and Hiori have already left.”

“What?” Nanase gasped. “Don’t tell me they got bored and called it a day?”

“Oh I doubt it,” Charles shook his head. “They’re going back to Rin’s house to ‘hang out’ or something.”

“Yeah,” said Niko, “totally just to ‘hang out’, right? Nothing else.”

Charles laughed again. “They’re so gonna make out.”

At the sound of that, Nanase shook his head profusely and lifted his hands in protest. “I seriously doubt anything that serious will happen,” he said. “You know how Rin is. He can barely admit he has a crush to me. I can’t imagine him confessing so quickly. And Hiori likely won't either. Don't...” he paused for a moment, then his face went even redder and he let out a strained grumble. "Oh darn it, now my hopes are up that something will happen!"

“I mean, they flirt with each other endlessly when we play Dead By Daylight in their own weird, sado-masochistic ways,” said Niko.

“And they went on a date today, aways stay up on call with each other, and I still have yet to see Rin get properly angry at Hiori even once,” Charles added. “They’re so obviously in love with each other. How many times will they be alone together before it just clicks?” He then fumbled around in his pocket and pulled out a two-thousand yen note. “I’m calling it now. On this money, they’ll kiss tonight. Even if they don’t publicly announce that they’re dating, the moment they do, we need answers. And if I’m wrong, you guys can split this between the two of you.”

Niko let out a long sigh. “Are we really doing this?”

Nanase frowned. “This seems unnecessary.”

“Well regardless of what you two think, I’m still putting the money forwards,” Charles said proudly. “You can’t get out of this one now.”

“Is he always like this?” Nanase asked Niko.

All Niko could do was hang his head. “You get used to it.”

Chapter Text

The train car rattled along the tracks, the inside silent. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence though, not to Hiori at least. If anything, the quiet was a welcome respite after having been surrounded by the constant chatter and bustle of central Kyoto, as well as the blaring music of the arcade. The closer the train got to his home suburb, the more his shoulders began to relax.

Apart from himself and Rin, there was no one else here. They had just about managed to miss the rush hour — a massive relief, because had they ended up pressed together against the wall or doors by a tidal wave of half-asleep businessmen, Hiori didn’t know what he would have done with himself. Such proximity was overwhelming to even think about. He could already feel the way his face was heating up at the notion. 

His mind conjured the image of Rin, with his domineering figure and piercing gaze, accidentally having to pin him to the side of the train car while glaring at the other passengers to move in what little space they had. It was a scenario straight out of a trashy BL but now that the thought was in Hiori’s head, he couldn’t stop it from becoming more vivid. The smell of Rin's cologne. The sound of his breath. His lips only inches away, unable to retreat. Perhaps if the train car jolted, they would stumble and their lips would connect and—

Yeah, it was definitely for the best that they had avoided a situation like that.

The buildings outside the train soon gave way to empty, water-logged rice paddies. It had been harvested very recently, only in the past few weeks, but would now lay barren until the next planting season. October was almost at its end.

After a while the suburb came into view and once again buildings started to pass by the window. Only, these buildings were residential homes and small local businesses, not the high-rise apartment blocks or company buildings of the city centre. This place was more familiar and yet at the same time more unnerving. Yes, it was quieter and less hectic than central Kyoto, but it was also the place Hiori had always been trapped. A disgusting place in which he was expected to spend his days.

What a relief it was that he was going over to Rin’s house for a bit before his life returned to its monotonous drawl.

That relief only bloomed more as they got off the train, walked back down familiar streets they had passed through so many times together by now, and eventually made it all the way to the front gates of the Itoshi family residence. While Rin punched in the passcode, a cold chill swept through the air, a reminder of the winter that was fast-approaching. Hiori’s teeth chattered automatically. He pulled his jacket around himself.

Rin snorted. “Can’t even handle a little cold?”

“It just took me by surprise."

“Your name is literally written as ‘ice weave’ and yet a gust of wind has you shivering.”

“Like you’re much better.”

“The cold is nice,” Rin shrugged. “It has a decent bite.”

It was Hiori’s turn to snort. “Masochist.”

“Sadist.”

The inside of the house was no different from the last time Hiori had been here. Everything was still rather monotone, the framed family photo was still turned down, and there was a tension that hung in the air when Mrs Itoshi wandered out of the living room while both boys were taking their shoes off. She must have heard the door opening.

Of course, she stopped dead in her tracks when her eyes fell on Hiori. “Oh?” she sounded surprised. Not angry, just shocked. “You’re here, Hiori?”

Hiori smiled at her and bowed his head. “If that’s okay? I know we didn’t really plan for me to come over but—“

“By all means, make yourself at home,” Mrs Itoshi nodded her head quite vigorously, gesturing into the hallway. “My apologies, I would've prepared you some snacks if I’d known you were coming,” she then eyed Rin, her smile somewhat fading but not completely. “You’ll be in your room, I presume?”

Rin just shrugged and pushed past her. “He’s only here for a couple of hours. No need to get all antsy.”

Hiori gave a final bow to Mrs Itoshi and followed along. The two of them were about half way up the stairs when she suddenly called out after them.

“Just so you know,” she said, “I’ll be staying with your grandmother tonight because your grandfather just went to Europe for a week. And your father is still at the office. He’ll probably be there all night. Your dinner is in the fridge.”

Rin froze on the top step. For a few moments he just stood there, then without turning around he shrugged his shoulders in vague acknowledgement and carried on towards his bedroom. No conversation. No verbal confirmation that he had heard what she had said. 

It still amazed Hiori that such behaviour was allowed in this house. Had he ever tried to show such attitude with his own parents, he would have been grabbed by the wrist, yanked back down the stairs and told to look them in the eyes while he acknowledged that he had heard them. An apology would also have likely been in order. But here, in this house, Rin’s mother either didn’t care enough to hear a reply or was too nervous of what her son might do if she pushed it. 

There really was something going on in this family, bubbling under the surface, trying not to let itself be shown. In a way, it was the same as Hiori’s own home. The circumstances may have been different, almost opposite in nature, but the result was the same — two unhappy boys who had just so happened to have found each other amid their real life difficulties. 

As the door to Rin’s bedroom closed with a click, Rin slumped into his desk chair and picked at the bandage on his hand. “Well at least I’ll be home alone tonight,” he sighed. 

Hiori tilted his head. “Are you okay with that?”

“I’m used to it.”

“But are you okay with it?”

Rin paused.

He didn’t reply immediately. Instead, he stood up and wandered over to the large TV opposite his bed. 

“Rin?” Hiori shuffled up next to him. 

“We’ve only got a couple of hours,” Rin replied, his tone somewhat jaded. He picked up a controller lying next to an X-Box. “Less talking, more gaming,” he dropped the controller into Hiori’s hands. 

He didn’t want to talk about whatever he was feeling. That much was obvious and it was okay. Instead of trying to pry, Hiori was content in his observations and would let the matter come up again if that was what Rin wanted.

Until then, there was indeed gaming to be done. 

-—-

It had been a very long time since Hiori had last experienced the idea of ‘time flying’. Usually the hours of the day all slogged on at a snail’s pace and he was dragging himself through, going through the motions he was used to and forcing himself to go along with whatever had been planned out for him.

But right now, alone with Rin, sitting side by side playing The Quarry together with a shared controller, it really was as if time were whisking itself away, out of his grasp. He wanted this to last for longer, hidden away in this bedroom that almost felt like it existed in its own, separate pocket dimension. Here, no one bothered him. Here, no one told him what to do. It was just him, his crush, and a horror game joining them together as if it were a piece of string.

In all honesty, he didn’t think he would have to continue playing the horror game to stay here. He could happily bring his Switch and lay on Rin’s bed, doing his own thing while Rin minded his own business. A quick glance at the desk revealed a finished paper craft of an owl — a rather adorable thing with its large, beady eyes and fluffy feathers. So that was what Rin did in his free time?

Who would have thought that school’s most antisocial, violent first year had an affection for something so cute? 

Not that Rin likely saw it that way. From the long ramble he had gone on the previous week, it was clear that, to him, owls were creatures of fascination but were also dangerous and formidable. 

Hiori almost forgot to check his phone. He was having so much fun that by the time he did remember, it sent a rush of sadness through him. His clock read 17:34. He would have to leave very soon, within the net ten minutes, if he wanted to get back to his house on time. Any later and his parents would throw another fit. They would take away his computer and force him to do a million equations. They would wrap their iron grip around him and squeeze the life energy out of his every breath…

He hated it. He hated them. 

“You’re going now, right?” Rin’s voice then reached his ears.

This time, it was Hiori who paused. “It sucks…” he then muttered. “It really fucking sucks. I wish my parents would just die in a car crash.”

“Want me to kill them?”

Hiori chuckled at that. “If you did, I’d back up whatever alibi you came up with.”

Rin didn’t laugh in return. Well, that was to be expected. He never laughed at anything. But he did look strangely… sad? Not angry or scowling like usual, just forlorn, as if waiting for something bad that he already knew was coming. 

Is it because I’m leaving?

It wasn’t like Hiori wanted to leave. No, he really, really wanted to stay. In another world maybe he would, maybe he would pull out his phone, text his parents that he was going to stay the night and toss caution to the wind. He would fully take on board the advice Karasu and Isagi had been drilling into him, doing what he himself wanted. Yes, maybe in another life, but tonight he would have to get up, walk out of this bedroom door and go home…

Indeed, he would have to go…

He would have to leave now…

…

But he wasn’t getting up. 

The room was silent. Rin had paused their game, the controller they had been sharing now sitting in his lap. And he eyed Hiori for several seconds, the two of them enveloped in the quiet as if it were a sheet wrapping tightly around them both.

And eventually, after a long period of no one talking, no one moving, he opened his mouth. “So, are you leaving?” he sounded bitter. “Just go. You don’t need my permission.”

And Hiori remained seated on the bed next to him. “I…” the words could scarcely form on his tongue.

“Are your legs broken?”

“Rin, I…” Hiori shook his head. 

Why was articulating this so difficult? He had struggled to do it before — that had to be the reason. Saying what he wanted was so unbelievably hard, his own desires branded in chains, weighed down to the bottom of the thick sludge of expectations. But he had wants. He had things he would give anything to be able to do. 

And he now had a spark of rebellion flickering in his gut. It was small but alive, youthful but feisty. It was the flickering flame that had caused him to stay longer at Rin’s house the first time, had caused him to fake going to the mathletes mock event, and given him the courage to spend today out with his friends in town. It was a hungry flame, eager for more, egotistical in its longing to grow. It would discard his parents’ expectations. It would let Hiori stay here, with Rin, chasing his own happiness.

Instead of saying anything more, he just opened his phone and went to the group chat he shared with his parents. There was no time to overthink or backtrack. He was moving completely on reflex, his fingers flying across his screen. He typed word after word, biting down on the inside of his cheek until he swore he could taste blood in his mouth. 

Hiori Family GC

Yo: Hi Mom and Dad. Sorry this is so abrupt but I’ve gone over to a friend’s house. I’ll stay the night if I’m allowed. I know you wanted me back by six but I think this will be good for me. I really need this right now. We can talk about it when I get home tomorrow. I’ll come over before school to change and get my things. See you then.

And with that, he hit send. Immediately, he then turned his phone off completely, shutting it down. He knew his parents had a tracker app on it that they never let him delete, so this was the only way to make sure they wouldn’t try to trace his location and forcefully come to get him. Knowing how neurotic they were, that would have been a genuine possibility. The only reason he was fairly sure they wouldn’t call the police was because getting authorities involved would break the illusion of their perfect, happy family that they loved to pretend they were. No, they wouldn’t risk a police investigation, not for something they already knew in the depths of their hearts was a completely normal thing for a teenage boy to do. They technically knew where he was and when he would be home, so they couldn’t even claim he was missing.

It was only after his phone had finished shutting down that he allowed himself to breathe. It was weird. So incredibly weird. He had just defied his parents’ wishes in perhaps the biggest way possible. No doubt he was going to be punished incredibly severely. His computer would go into storage. He would be grounded for a month at least.

But it was his decision. The spark of rebellion was alight inside him. Now that it was burning, it wouldn’t go out.

He turned to Rin. “Can I stay the night?”

Rin blinked. “What?”

“Can I stay the night? Here. With you.”

“Are you having a stroke?”

“I'm completely fine. Listen, I don’t care about what Mom or Dad try to say or do to me tomorrow anymore,” Hiori stammered a bit as he said those words. He was very much still afraid of what they might try to do but right now their judgemental, bitter punishments were just a reminder of why this rebellion was so necessary. “Please Rin. I want to stay with you.”

This is what I want right now. Please let me have it.

And Rin just stared at him. It was a look of utter bewilderment. He said nothing but it was unmissable how the tips of his ears were going a bright shade of blush. It was such a cute look on him, all flustered, unable to find something to say. It suited him well. Hiori wanted to burn that look into his eyelids and be reminded of it whenever he so much as blinked.

When Rin did manage to find some words, they were brief. He looked down, refusing all eye contact. “Why?”

Hiori cocked his head. “What do you mean, why?”

“Why do you want to stay the night here?”

Hiori frowned. “Because I like you?” he said. “And I want to spend more time with you?”

It was as if Rin couldn’t understand such a simple concept. He scowled, massaging his injured palm with his other hand. “Fine…” he murmured, half-whispered. “Do what you want.”

Well, at least he was accepting the request. A light fluttering blossomed in Hiori’s chest. He smiled. “Thank you.”

“I have no idea what we’ll have for dinner. Mom only ever boxes up leftovers for me.”

“I’m sure we’ll figure something out.”

Chapter Text

Rin wasn’t stupid.

Destruction and violence was his reality, a way of seeing everything around him that only he was capable of understanding. It had been this way since he had first come into the world. The urges tugged on something innate within himself, a violent reaction to prove his own existence in a way that overflowed with primal chaos. Even if he got himself injured, even if his nose bled and bruises bloomed across his skin, it was worth it to satisfy the desire to unleash the carnage his soul craved.

He was also perfectly aware of how the rest of the world despised it. He didn’t care. For most of his life, he had held no regard for what others thought of his nature. Even if his classmates had cowered away from him, his teachers had scolded him for acting out, and his own parents had seen him as a difficult nuisance, there had always been Sae. His brother had been his rock throughout every single bad day.

But then, at some point it had become too much. He and Sae had fought. Sae had abandoned him. And ever since, he had been completely, utterly alone. The only ally had been his destruction. It had become his safety net. At least when the solitude was an intentionally enforced constant. It didn’t hurt. He could push everyone away, indulge in his life alone, and make sure no one else could harm him the same way his brother had.

And yet, a single chat message on Dead by Daylight had spiralled his life far away from that solitude.

-—-

In the end, the two of them split Rin's dinner from the fridge fifty-fifty, and Rin raided the cupboards for whatever sweet candies he could find to make up for the smaller portion of food. Hiori helped himself to some fruit from the fruit bowl and lamented that candies were far too unhealthy for him to eat, considering they were mostly just sugar. Rin shot back by pointing out that fruits also contained sugars. After finishing their dinners, they returned back upstairs to play some more horror games.

Before long, the night was truly upon them. Seven o'clock turned to eight, then nine, then ten. By the time they put down their controllers, it was already nearly eleven. They had gamed for so long that a twinge of pain snaked down Rin's back. It wasn't a surprise. His posture was terrible, like a curled up shrimp.

Hiori hummed as he looked at the time in the bottom of the TV screen, flopping back onto the bed and stretching. His muscles audibly cracked, prompting an awkward chuckle. “I’ve never had a sleepover before,” he mused. 

Rin raised an eyebrow, turning off the TV. “You’d never been over to anyone else’s house before last week. Of course you’ve never had a sleepover.”

“Still, it’s wild to me,” Hiori shrugged. “Anyways, where am I sleeping?”

Rin froze. Oh… that… he realised. Curse the spontaneity of this whole situation. 

“If you don’t answer in five seconds,” Hiori said smugly, “then I claim this bed as mine,” he rolled over onto his front and grabbed one of the pillows, clutching it tightly. “This is mine now.”

“What?” Rin scoffed. “Fuck off, we have a guest room down the hall on the left.”

“So far away,” Hiori lamented.

“Piss off, you like being alone just as much as I do.”

“You’re not wrong, but this is a sleepover,” Hiori then sat up, still hugging the pillow. “I’d end up staying in here with you anyway just because the only alternative is sleeping, which is boring. Come on, what do people usually do at sleepovers?”

“No idea.”

“Well I’m clueless too. Brainstorm a bit.”

“Not until we’ve figured out where you’ll sleep.”

“I’ve already said I'm sleeping here.”

That was when Rin picked up on the glint in Hiori’s eyes. Until now, the back and forth had gradually been raising his blood pressure until he swore he was two seconds away from ripping that pillow out of Hiori's hands and dragging him to the guest room. But that flash of excitement in Hiori’s large, deep, owl-like eyes was clear enough — the bastard was enjoying this. 

“You god damned ultra-sadist,” Rin murmured. “Having fun with my suffering, huh?”

And with that, the destructive instincts took over. He lunged forwards, grasping for the pillow, and before long the two of them were playfully wrestling over it. The entire time, Hiori was biting back laughter. Rin’s heart raced whenever he heard it. Truly, for some reason, Hiori wasn’t afraid or angry or frustrated. 

He’s happy? He likes this? He likes being with me even when I'm trying to destroy him? It was still so hard to believe. Rin’s brow furrowed. Why does he like being with me so much?

What was Hiori’s threshold that would halt his laughter forever? What would be too much? What was the line that was uncrossable, that was enough to make him leave just like everyone else did? The instinctual urge to react coursed through Rin’s veins like a drug. He let himself go, pushing his aggression more and more while Hiori playfully fought back with a smile that never once faltered, despite the craziness. 

Find it, Rin’s brain kept screaming at him. Find his limit. Destroy. Destroy—

He froze. 

He had Hiori pinned down by his wrists, looming over him like a beast about to bite the neck of its prey, dealing the killing blow. The pillow they had once been wresting over was now long since discarded across the bed. This ‘fight’ had been won, completely and utterly dominated, and now he was staring down at the boy beneath him, both of them short of breath after the surge in energy.

And Hiori’s face was tinted with a light layer of blush. 

He was staring up, silent, with those lovely, large eyes, not even trying to fight back anymore. Was this it? Was this the extent of destruction he could actually take? A part of Rin couldn’t bring himself to move. His grip remained strong, his position boxing Hiori in.

Did I go too far?

It was only after several moments that Hiori’s mouth opened to speak. “Do you always stick your tongue out like that when you’re concentrating?”

That was what he had to say?! He wasn’t complaining. He didn’t sound scared at all. No, he still had that intrigued glint in his eyes and his smile, if small, was as concrete as ever. Even after being tackled into submission, completely overwhelmed, he was enjoying himself, and his gaze drifted across Rin's mouth and tongue with an almost fascinated glimmer. 

The grip on his wrists weakened. Rin hadn't meant to let go, but he was just so confused. The moment he held back even for just a second, that was when Hiori moved. In that instant, he shook a hand free and brought it up to cup Rin’s cheek. The touch was ice-cold, equal parts flinch-inducing and reassuring, like an ice-pack on a wound. “You’re gonna drool all over me if you keep your mouth open like that,” he teased. “Hungry for me or something?”

Those words were too much. Rin felt like he was on fire. Not because he hated it, but because he liked it. This side of Hiori was both new and familiar. It was the side of him that never came out in real life. It only ever reared its head when the two of them played Dead By Daylight together — that vicious, sadistic side that loved to rile Rin up on purpose, just to give him the ultimate satisfaction in the end. Experiencing it in real life, in such close proximity, was like a flash bang going off right in front of Rin’s face.

He pushed off Hiori and shuffled back, then once a bit of space was between them he hung his head and clutched his face in his hands. He was so confused and yet so invigorated. He wanted to scream. He wanted to pin Hiori down until the boy’s circulation cut off. He wanted to rip into Hiori’s flesh and claw him down to the bone, just to find the seemingly non-existent threshold of his tolerance.

He wanted to crash his lips into Hiori’s and drink the very life out of him.

“Rin?” Hiori’s voice was addicting. The instinctual urge to grab him there and then tightened in Rin’s gut. “Are you alright?”

For a moment, silence descended. 

“Why do you like it?” Rin then murmured.

“Like what?”

Rin vaguely gestured at all of himself. “This. Me. Everything.”

Answers, that was all he was searching for. A simple, quick reply to put his racing mind at ease.

“Why wouldn’t I like you?” Hiori then asked. His presence shifted up next to Rin, sitting so close their sides pressed against each other. 

For once, Rin didn’t lurch away from such close contact. If anything, his dizzying mind craved it all the more. “No one else likes me. I'm not an idiot. I know everyone fucking hates me.”

“Nanase likes you.”

“Not the way you do though.”

To that, Hiori stammered out a choke. “H-how do I like you that’s so different?” he stuttered.

“You just… I don’t know. You don’t just tolerate me. You’re not afraid of me. You don’t see me as a burden or a pet project in need of saving.” 

He had so much more he wanted to add but the words were refusing to form on his tongue. The chaotic, formless mass of destruction was leering its head again, the same way it always did when his heart rate increased and his nerves were on high alert. 

“Of course you’re not like that to me,” Hiori said. He made himself comfortable and let out a deep sigh. “Listen to me. No matter what has happened in your life before now, with school or your family or whatever else, believe me when I say this — all those parts of you that the world hates are completely fine for me. Your standoffishness and your tendency to only talk about horror games and owls is amazing. No matter what, you never give a shit what everyone else has said about you. You always continue to do your own thing. If anything I wish I could be more like you."

"You do?"

"Of course! Even when you fight," Hiori nodded. "Sure I might try to stop you when you get violent with others but I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. If only I could be like that with my parents. It doesn’t scare me or make me think less of you when you're violent. I admire it."

"Admire it?" Rin asked.

Hiori looked at him with the most sure expression. "I just love you the way you are, got it?”

There was so much that Rin should have picked up on over the course of that little spiel. The security. The permission to just be himself. The unwavering surety that even the most gruesome violence would be okay.

And yet, as he lifted his head to stare wide-eyed at the boy only a few inches away, all he could think of was a single word… a word wrapped in the clutches of his desire to tear everything to pieces forever.

Love.

“You…” he said, “love me?”

Destroy it all.

Hiori’s own eyes widened. His cheeks flushed red. His mouth sealed in a tight line.

Tip him over the edge. Destroy everything.

“Well—“ Hiori looked down. He couldn’t speak either. 

Do it.

Do what? Rin had no idea what he was meant to do. What he wanted to do. Instinct coursed through him. He moved on complete autopilot, barely aware of his arm grasping Hiori’s, pulling the other boy in.

Do it now!

Neither of them had time to say anything more. Rin’s grip tightened. His eyes squeezed shut. His lips pressed themselves against Hiori’s in a flurry of automatic action, unfettered by any sense or reason, purely working on the desire pulsing through his entire being.

The kiss only lasted a moment but that moment might as well have been an eternity. It didn't soothe his desire to destroy. Not at all. If anything it only invigorated it more and more with each passing second. Hiori's lips weren't like his hands. They were warm. Soft. His body was so close that the scent of his shampoo and cologne mingled in Rin's sinuses. And he didn't move at all. By the time Rin pulled back, the object of his desires was as frozen as a block of ice, silent, eyes staring right into his own.

And in that moment, the dire realisation crashed down. Was this the threshold? Had the boundary now been forever overstepped, unable to return, all because Rin had let his instincts run completely wild? What about everything that had been said only moments ago? Did none of that matter anymore—

Hiori grabbed Rin by the collar. “Fucking hell,” he managed to whisper.

Their lips connected again. The kiss was like a bonfire erupting into a blaze that could burn an entire mountainside.

-—-

To Hiori, Rin was an ocean capable of weathering away his sharpest edges. After all these years of shattering, having to hide his own icy blades from the world behind such a placating facade, Rin was the only one who could melt his ice back to perfection. Rin was a stormy sea with ceaseless waves, harsher and more treacherous than a mere fleck of ice could hope to imitate, and yet when he held Hiori in his arms, the memory of his lips still fresh and warm against Hiori’s own, those sharp edges wore away without protest. 

Show me the destruction, Hiori thought, connecting their lips once more, drinking in the storm.

He wished he could help Rin find a way through the turmoil of feeling unlovable, but how could he when he himself was only just beginning to step out of the darkness? 

But that was why this moment was a beacon. Perhaps being together on its own wouldn’t save them from their messed up lives but it was nevertheless soothing company in the blizzard. Hiori intertwined their fingers, squeezing gently, reassuringly, deepening their kiss. They would brave this snowstorm together. Throughout it all, Hiori would murmur comfort in his ear and indulge the destroyer lurking under Rin's skin. He would remind Rin that he loved him even when Rin’s heart told him it was impossible. 

Let yourself feel my warmth, he could feel Rin’s own warmth already, like fire against his frost-bitten skin.

Their lips found each other over and over, unpractised, amateur, and desperate. There was no room for second guessing or doubt. The sheer want and need burning within them was enough to breach the novelty of it all. No questions. No confessions.

Just each other.

Chapter Text

It was funny how much Hiori could learn about Rin from the way they kissed each other.

After the novelty of it died down, spiked nerves settling to a more manageable acknowledgement of shared, amateur inexperience, it became more like a game to figure out how they were actually supposed to go about intimacy. Hiori himself was a bit more guarded at first, cautious, but soon that gave way to a streak of desire. He kissed back with purpose, clasping Rin’s hands in his own, making it incredibly clear that whatever was going on right now, he wanted it.

And as for Rin? Well, the guy certainly wanted to use his tongue.

“Woah, woah,” Hiori finally pulled back with a laugh, “pump the brakes, you’re going a little fast there.”

Rin had a surprised look plastered on his face, his tongue still hanging out for a moment before he closed his mouth into an adorable frown. “I was just moving on instinct,” he said. “Kiss me again.”

“Is that an order?” Hiori chuckled. “I thought in the arcade we agreed that I was the one calling the shots for the rest of the day?”

“As if we’ve been sticking to that at all. Plus, it’s almost midnight, so the deal ends soon anyway.”

“Then I guess I need to enjoy my commander privileges a little longer,” Hiori leaned in close, giddiness coursing through him. 

None of this felt quite real, still wrapped up in a haze of rebellion, elation, and infatuation. He was kissing someone! His crush, no less! That idea alone had him dipping his head back to press his mouth to Rin’s once again for several slow, languid seconds. This time, instead of just staying put, he pressed himself closer, leaning forwards, testing the waters until Rin pressed back against his advances with equal vigour. The other was clearly not willing to let himself be guided backwards onto the mattress. That was unsurprising — he probably wouldn’t want anyone to dominate him unless it meant being able to destroy them right back.

And in all honesty, Hiori didn’t mind that at all.

He didn’t mind being the one reacting to Rin’s destructive advances. It really was like a game, figuring out the unpredictable twists and turns of what Rin would do and responding accordingly. If Rin wanted it, Hiori would give it. He would be the ‘key’, the one who indulged in the destruction and set the boundaries of how far the two of them could go together.

Together…

He pulled back, catching his breath. “So…” he looked down at their interlocked hands. “What does this mean exactly?” he stroked his thumb over Rin’s knuckles. “For us, I mean.”

For a moment, Rin said nothing. When he did find the words to speak, they were low and muttered, as if he didn’t want them to be heard. “I don’t know.”

“What do you want?”

Again, another silence descended. “Hiori, I—“ but he didn’t finish. There was clearly something holding him back, swimming in the way his eyes darted from one place to another. He was overthinking this. It was so obvious.

“I’ll tell you what I want, if that would help?” Hiori suggested.

Rin nodded.

Taking a deep breath, Hiori prepared to finally, after all this time, properly spill the truth. “I want to be your boyfriend,” he said bluntly. “I want to kiss you again. I want to go on another date to Chazu Chazuke. And I want to call you my partner. Is that alright with you?”

The look on Rin’s face was one of pure shock. It was almost funny to look at considering the fact that they had just been kissing — well, it had been more like a borderline make-out session given Rin’s insistence on trying to push his tongue past Hiori’s teeth. 

“Why?” Rin then asked. “Why me?”

“I already told you why. I love you the way you are.”

“No, I mean… I mean why are you even attracted to me if all I do is destroy everything.”

“Because I admire it, like I said.”

“Is that really all there is to it?”

Hiori chuckled. His hand lifted to stroke Rin’s cheek reassuringly. “Well, perhaps the look of frustration on your face when you’re confused and angry is kinda sexy too.”

That seemed to make Rin change his tune from being just sorry for himself. His face went beet red and he inhaled a sharp breath. “Sexy?!”

Hiori winked. “You heard me,” he then glanced at the clock on the wall. Midnight was in fifteen minutes. “Okay, I think I need to declare my final orders for the day,” he said confidently. 

Rin rolled his eyes. “Make it quick.”

“Okay, first of all, I want you to call me your boyfriend.”

For a moment, Rin just blinked. “Right now?”

“Yep.”

“Okay… You’re my boyfriend…”

The way the words reached Hiori’s ears was such a delight. They were spoken in such a murmured drawl that it was almost timid. It was cute. “Okay,” he nodded in approval. “We’re boyfriends now. Nothing is going to change that. So my second order is that I’m staying in this bed tonight.”

Rin’s face dropped. “I’m not sleeping on the floor.”

“Well I never said you couldn’t sleep here too.”

A choke spluttered in Rin’s throat. “Us? Together?!”

Hiori flopped back on the bed, his head hitting the pillows with a satisfying flump. “Well, if we’re boyfriends now it’s not so weird, right?”

“We’ve been boyfriends for two minutes.”

“And I have freedom from my family for like eight more hours tops. We can’t exactly afford to move slowly here.”

“What exactly is that supposed to—“ he then paused. His flustered face (which Hiori had been starting to think was the most handsome expression on him) faded away into a knowing scowl. “You’re still doing it, aren’t you?”

“Doing what?” Hiori asked innocently. 

“Riling me up on purpose to get a reaction.”

So Hiori really had finally been figured out. He let out a content sigh, letting himself sink deeper into the pillows and mattress. “Sharp mind.”

“I’m not a plaything.”

“Of course not,” Hiori smiled. “You’re now my plaything,” he held back a laugh at the face Rin made in response to that. Instead, he reached out his arms, making grabby hands towards his now-boyfriend. “Come here.”

As it turned out, Rin was not only a fervent kisser, but also a surprisingly clingy hugger. So much so that it needed adjusting for. Hiori had never really known how to deal with physical contact. His parents didn’t hug him. They had used to occasionally when he was younger but that had only been for a couple of very specific situations — either they had wanted him to do something for them really badly, or they had accidentally made him cry from scolding him too much. These days, they didn’t hug him at all. 

But when he and Rin eased themselves down, Rin resting his head into the crook of Hiori’s neck and wrapping his arms around Hiori’s torso, there was something far more possessive and desperate about him. He had a vicelike grip, almost as if he were afraid Hiori would disappear if he were to loosen his hold. 

Maybe he does think that, somewhere deep down? Hiori wondered. After all, believing yourself to be unlovable and that the world hated you must have come with some subconscious hang-ups about connections, right?

After lying together for a while, the reality of the situation was finally starting to settle in, if slowly. Hiori’s mind was still very much reeling from the very idea of actively disobeying his parents. No doubt he was going to be punished severely when he got home. But still, they couldn't stop him anymore.

Fuck them, he thought. They shouldn't be able to control me. I’ll just keep disobeying them and disappointing them until they give up on me and get divorced like they should have done ages ago.

His thoughts were broken by a low, unprompted hum. 

As it turned out, Hiori had, in his deepening thoughts, started to absentmindedly stroke the top of Rin’s head. Was it really that relaxing? It must have been.

Of course, the moment the sound left Rin, his grip tightened even more and he choked on his own breath. 

That made Hiori laugh. “I did hear that, you know. You’re like two inches away from my ears.”

“You heard nothing,” Rin grumbled. He buried his face into Hiori’s neck as if meaning to hide himself. “So are we just staying like this now? Sleeping like this or some shit?”

Hiori thought about it for a moment. “I'll be honest, I don't want to sleep tonight."

“We have school tomorrow.”

“Since when were you such a goody-two-shoes?”

“Your parents will probably take you out of school if you miss a day.”

Rin’s words were hyperbolic but they did, admittedly hold some kernel of truth. Yes, skipping a whole day of school to sleep in and then avoid going home would be met with a punishment unlike anything Hiori could possibly imagine. And knowing his parents, there was a non-zero chance they would either start homeschooling him to keep an eye on him all hours of the day, or they might ship him off to boarding school on the other side of the country. 

So yeah, maybe avoiding going to school because of pulling an all-nighter would be a terrible idea…

“But I still don’t wanna sleep,” Hiori chuckled. “I wanna spend time awake with you.”

The face that Rin made in response to that was pure, flustered perfection.

-—-

Karasu wasn’t one to pride himself on much, but he did at least think he was usually quite good at telling when was the best moment to approach a situation. He had tried texting Hiori the previous evening, but had received no reply. That meant one of two things. Either Hiori was currently getting absolutely ripped to shreds by his parents because they had found out about his ploy to go into Kyoto. Or, Hiori simply wasn’t in the mood to talk for whatever reason. That happened quite a lot. Hiori liked his own space. Going a few days without conversing was normal especially when he was stressed.

That was fine. If the situation wasn't right, things could wait until they saw each other at school. If worst came to worst, there was always the walk to cram school.

Which was why it came as a complete shock when Karasu’s notifications buzzed at seven in the morning, right as he was about to finish getting ready to head out to school.

Hiori: Sorry I didn’t see your messages last night.

Hiori: I slept over at Rin’s.

Hiori: Heading home now to grab my school stuff.

Hiori: Probably gonna get screamed at.

Hiori: Wanna talk now?

Hiori: I’ve got about twenty minutes to walk home.

Hiori: I’ve got so much to tell you.

It was such a crazy string of messages that Karasu found himself rereading them over and over. Was this really the same Hiori who he had met in junior high? The silent, antisocial loner who didn’t know how to make friends unless he stalked them like a phantom? Was this seriously that Hiori Yo?

Karasu: Since when do you do sleepovers?

Hiori: Since now.

Hiori: Call?

Karasu: Sure

When the call picked up, the lilt in Hiori’s tone was as clear as day. He sounded somewhere between utterly exhausted and over the moon. And even though he was returning home after disobeying his parents in perhaps the biggest way possible, he didn’t sound particularly afraid. 

“Mornin’,” he hummed groggily, his voice grainy as Karasu set him speaker phone and continued getting ready. 

“I thought our plan was just to get you out for the day. What happened to keeping things a secret?”

“No idea really. Something just clicked last night. I did tell Mom and Dad where I was though… kinda.”

“What do you mean ‘kinda’?”

“Well,” Hiori laughed awkwardly, “I said I was staying at a friend’s house. Kept it super vague so they couldn’t try and track me… Not that they’d know any of my friends by name anyway.”

“Okay,” Karasu frowned, pulling his school bag over his shoulders, “so you stayed at Rin’s?”

“Yeah.”

A content chuckle wormed its way past Karasu’s lips. “Took you long enough to start rebelling.”

“I knew you’d say something like that.”

“Seriously though, good on you,” Karasu said. “And making friends with Rin of all people. That does still surprise me a little bit but I guess you are both insane so who am I to judge?”

Another awkward laugh reverberated through the phone. “Oh, about that,” Hiori said, “last night… okay, I’m definitely planning to tell the others but you get to hear first because you’re my best friend.”

Karasu’s eyebrows knitted. He was going to set aside the fact that he had just been called 'best friend'. He could pride himself on having that title later. “Go on…?”

“So,” Hiori took a deep breath. He seemed to mull over his words for a moment. “Me and Rin… we’re going out.”

It was like a record had scratched to a halt, a truly time-stopping moment of surprise. Karasu was half way through organising his writing desk for when he got home when he froze. He blinked. The words Hiori had said echoed in his mind. 

“You’re… together?”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t hear you wrong?”

“No.”

Okay, this was potentially bad. “Did Nanase make you confess?”

If this was a result of direct meddling, Karasu was about to have far more than just a strongly worded conversation with that god forsaken group chat. Hiori and Rin going out was meant to be a completely natural process of cause and effect, a result of their mutual interest and desire to be together. It was not meant to be the result of a pet project set up by some bored students who wanted to mentally heal their friends with the (very much nonexistent) 'power of love'.

But instead of hearing a sound of agreement or acknowledgement, Hiori just made a noise of confusion. “What?”

Karasu sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Did you and Rin confess because Nanase or Isagi or Bachira or Chigiri or I don’t know who else said you should?”

“No? Why would you think that?”

Wait… Karasu thought. So this isn’t Nanase’s doing?

“Come on Karasu,” Hiori sighed. “I know you’re just looking out for me but I’m being serious. I decided to become Rin’s boyfriend on my own. I kissed him because I wanted to.”

Okay what?! “You kissed Rin?”

“Well technically he kissed me first.”

“I need to sit down. Fucking hell, Hiori, you’re gonna make me late for school.”

Hiori’s amused chuckle was equal parts a welcome showcase of his confidence in his current situation, as well as a needlessly sadistic sting to Karasu’s ego. “Is my love life really that shocking?”

“Considering you’re a guy who a week ago was still flip-flopping about the very idea of dating, yeah sorta.”

It really did feel as though the past several years of suggestions, pep talks and words of wisdom had finally, finally built up to something impactful. It hadn’t all been for nothing. There was, of course, still plenty to question, such as why Hiori would choose Itoshi Rin out of all people to be attracted to in the first place, but right now was not the time to psychoanalyse whatever traumas in Hiori’s life had led to such an infatuation with someone so destructive. 

No, right now what Hiori needed was support. This was his first relationship and one of the first big decisions he had been able to make for himself. Not to mention he was about to go home to parents who were most likely about to make him regret being born. It wasn’t going to be pretty. Most likely Hiori would show up at school angry and reclusive. 

So no, now was absolutely not the time to put down a single aspect of what was going on for him.

Hiori piping up broke Karasu from his thoughts. “Last night when you texted me, you said you wanted to talk about something important. Wanna do that now?”

Just let him have this moment.

Karasu sighed, picking his phone up and heading out of his bedroom. “It can wait,” he said as he left the house. “Congrats on finally getting a boyfriend, Mister Remarkable.”

Chapter Text

<A little over a month later>

Nijiro: Okay

Nijiro: I’m here

Nijiro: Time for the big reveal!!!

(Nijiro has added 2 people to the group)

Nijiro: And now we wait

Princess: Nanase it’s 6am!!!

Princess: Let the rest of us wake up first

Nijiro: Sorryyyyyyy

Nijiro: I’m just so excited

Madoka: You’re excited to see Hiori and Rin read all our messages about them?

Nijiro: No not that

Nijiro: Excited for Hiori to finally be un-grounded!

Nijiro: We never thought this day would come 🥺

CrowTabi: It almost didn’t

CrowTabi: He’s literally only getting his computer and phone back because it’s his birthday

CrowTabi: And he’s still got a curfew of 11pm

CrowTabi: When he’s still got cram school with me until after 9pm

Nijiro: Exactly!

Nijiro: See why I’m so excited?!

Princess: You see Hiori at school every day

Nijiro: But now we can see him online properly 

Owl: Wtf is this?

Owl: Why am I getting so many stupid notifs???

Nijiro: Rin!!!!! 

Nijiro: You’re here!!!!!!!

Nijiro: Good morning

Owl: Why am I here?

Nijiro: You said you wanted to be added

Owl: Since fucking when?

Yoichi: Morning everyone

Yoichi: Rin I literally saw you agree to being added here if Hiori was

Yoichi: Like last week

Owl: Piss off Isagi

Owl: Talk again and I’m blocking everyone here

Princess: Lol still pissy that Isagi got more praise for his equations in coding club yesterday?

Owl: And you certainly have no room to talk when you sit around doing nothing

Shark: Rude rude

Yoichi: You tell him, Kurona!

Imp: What’s all this about with Hiori?

Imp: And why is Rin here?

Imp: This place has been inactive for weeks

CrowTabi: Basically, when I first told Hiori about this dumb GC he just sorta laughed about it

CrowTabi: And called you all a bunch of weirdos

CrowTabi: And then asked if he could be added in

CrowTabi: So he could see everything we were talking about

CrowTabi: But he was grounded by his parents all month for staying the night at Rin’s

CrowTabi: So he only got his phone and computer back today for his birthday

CrowTabi: And keeping to our word, we agreed to add him here 

CrowTabi: Obviously as you can see, Rin insisted on being added too

Owl: Fuck off 

Owl: I DID NOT INSIST

Nijiro: You did seem rather persistent during coding club

Nijiro: It’s alright though, we’re happy to have you here!

Owl: Gross

Madoka: Okay apart from Nagi and Bachira, everyone’s here

Imp: I srsly doubt Nagi will get up

Yoichi: And Bachira sleeps like a log

Yoichi: He usually ends up sprinting to school

CrowTabi: So it looks like we’ve got as big a cohort as we’re gonna get

Snow: Hello?

(7 people reacted with 🥳)

Nijiro: HIORI!!!!!

Nijiro: happy birthday!!!!!!

CrowTabi: Sent a DM already but ye, happy birthday

Princess: Happy bday 

Madoka: He’s finally awake

Madoka: Welcome to this hell hole

Madoka: Happy birthday

Yoichi: Happy birthday! 

Shark: Welcome back! Happy birthday!!

Imp: Happy bday!! Can we play DBD later???????????

Snow: So this is the place where you schemed to get me and Rin together?

Owl: They WHAT???

Snow: We’ve discussed this before

Snow: In coding club

Snow: Multiple times

Owl: I never listen to whatever you guys talk about

Owl: Coding club is for coding, not blabbering 

Snow: Yes of course lmao

Snow: Don’t mind me, I’m just gonna go scroll back through these messages and laugh

Snow: Rin I’ll ss anything particularly funny and send it to you

Owl: If it’s weird and invasive then definitely show me so I know who to kill today

Snow: Will do :)

Princess: I would like to keep my life thank you very much

Princess: Ignore any and all of the times I said you two wouldn’t work out

Snow: Ye of little faith

Snow: Remind the crowd how long we’ve been together now, Rin

Owl: One month and five days

Snow: See! We’re destroying all of your love lives 

Snow: Or lack thereof 

CrowTabi: Low blow

Owl: Clearly it’s because we’re just better than the rest of you

Snow: Agreed

CrowTabi: Aren’t you meant to be scrolling through old messages rn?

Snow: Well maybe if you guys weren’t spamming me with notifs I’d have an easier time reading

Snow: Anyways, off I go to see the depths of your depravity

Snow: See you at school

-—-

Nanase had a spring in his step as entered the school building that morning. The walk from home had been brisk and chilly, wintertime just around the corner, so the warmth of being indoors again was a welcome relief. 

He wasn’t nearly the first person here today. Most of the rest of the student body were already mulling about, putting their outdoor shoes in their lockers, conversing among themselves, and heading to their classrooms. A few friendly smiles reached him from various acquaintances. He simply returned the expressions and carried on his way.

The early part of the day went as normal. He silently greeted Rin when he entered their classroom (getting relatively little response, as usual), went about morning lessons, and eagerly awaited the bell ringing to signal the beginning of lunchtime. As the hours ticked on, a gnawing excitement tugged at this gut. Today was a very special day. Hiori's birthday wasn't just going to pass him by uncelebrated. Therefore, the friend group wasn’t going to congregate for lunch in the dining room like they did on most days, nor were they going to hide away in anyone’s classroom. They weren’t even going to go to the rooftop or sneak into the computer lab with their lunchboxes.

No, today there was something very unique planned, and it would go into motion the moment that lunch bell rang.

When it finally did sound, everything moved like a blur. Without a further word Nanase stood and winked at Rin, who returned the gesture with a scowl and a roll of the eyes, but nevertheless he stood up too and they left the classroom together. Nanase had his bag slung over his shoulder, the contents heavier than usual, weighed down with everything he would need to play out his part of the set-up. The two boys parted ways shortly after, Rin going in the direction of Hiori’s classroom while Nanase headed down to the ground floor and out through a door to the sports fields. 

He carried on around the side of the school, past the PE equipment sheds, and at last he was at the copse of trees where everything was going to happen. The weather had definitely warmed since the early morning, with the sun still providing a satisfying heat despite the nip in the air. There was a slight breeze but luckily the trees would provide enough cover to render it a non-issue.

Surprisingly, he was the first one here. In fairness he had speed-walked the entire time but he had still expected Isagi to get here sooner… unless he was being held back by Bachira, of course. Chigiri was probably touching up his hair in the bathroom. Kurona and Niko would be here in a minute. It was just a shame the rest of the online gaming group couldn’t be here.

“Wow, that was fast,” a crow-like chuckle snorted behind him. 

Turning Nanase was met with Karasu lugging his own overweight bag into the clearing of trees. “Sorry, couldn’t help myself,” he scratched the side of his head awkwardly. “Just wanted to make sure things get done before Hiori and Rin arrive.”

“How long do you think Rin can distract him?” asked Karasu.

“No idea. But hopefully Hiori’s first thought won’t be to come here.”

The two of them then got to work, clearing the ground of leaves, rolling out picnic blankets on the gritty ground, and turning the tree stump into a glorified table. Nanase set several Tupperwares down, filled with all kinds of things he had home-made in preparation. Of course, he had gotten Rin to sleuth out the types of foods Hiori enjoyed and the things he didn’t like, so there was a lot of fish, burnt ends, several different flavours of Yakut, some low-calorie sushi rolls, egg rolls, and a selection of onigiri to choose from. For the rest of the group, there were tempuras, cold karaage and boxes of candy. There was no cake, Hiori wouldn’t want one apparently, and so instead Nanase placed an electric candle on top of a large box of Nagatanien ochazuke packets.

The others arrived at various stages throughout setting the place up. Niko and Kurona arrived first, helping Karasu lay out the blankets, and then Isagi, Bachira and Chigiri showed up not long after. All that was left was to wait for the birthday boy and his boyfriend to get here.

It took a few more minutes, but then between the trees, Nanase caught the sound of two familiar voices talking to each other. 

“Seriously, you’re acting so weird today,” Hiori’s voice laughed. “It’s just my birthday. It’s really not a big deal.”

“Shut up,” Rin’s voice grumbled, “just keep following me.”

“Can I open my eyes yet?”

“Of course not.”

At last, Rin and Hiori stepped into the clearing, Hiori with his eyes closed and guided by Rin. Everyone else held their tongues and breaths, silent, hoping no one would make any sounds to give away what was happening. 

After stopping Hiori in front of the tree stump with all the food and ochazuke, Rin then let out a sigh. He glared around at everyone as if completely fed up with the fact that they had roped him into doing something so 'lukewarm'. At least he had gone along with it — it had taken so much convincing on Nanase’s part, pleading like a desperate puppy dog in Rin’s DMs, in class, and even on the way to coding club.

But it had all paid off. Giving Nanase one final glare, Rin scrunched his face up and hung his head. “You can open your eyes now.”

And Hiori did. Immediately a rousing cheer of ‘Happy Birthday!’ sounded in the air. 

Everything had gone to plan. Hiori accepted his birthday gift happily, if a bit sheepishly. Everyone sat down to eat together, stealing bits and pieces of each other’s food and complimenting the cookery. A few times, Hiori pulled up the old GC on his phone to laugh at whatever messages everyone had been sending each other back when the chat had still been active. Most likely, this particular GC would remain a relic — the group had long since created a new one. 

But the niceties and fun conversations weren’t what Nanase focussed on. No, the entire time his gaze was trained onto Rin. To think, a couple of months ago this guy had been the antisocial dark horse of the school, completely incapable of making friends, let along dating. In fairness, most of the school still did regard him with suspicion, caution and even sometimes contempt, especially now that Shidou was back and the two of them sometimes passed each other in the corridor.

It was almost fascinating though just how much Rin had changed because of Hiori. Now, he was able to actually sit down with the rest of the friend group, albeit with a sufficient amount of death glares thrown at everyone, and while he didn't seem too overly comfortable, he wasn't trying to find excuses to leave, nor was he making a scene. And it was almost as if Hiori found it a shame that he was spared from Rin's sadistic nonchalantness. Several times, he would try to rile Rin up on purpose, stealing a piece of food, nudging his side, or making a teasing remark. When Rin frowned back at him, his smile only grew.

They really were perfect for each other.

How much work had Nanase really done here? He couldn’t tell for sure, and he certainly hadn’t done it alone, but as things were, he was content. This was the exact outcome he had wished for his classmate. This was everything he could have asked for.

It was no secret that no matter how hard Rin tried to hide it, he was happier. That truth was as clear as day.

-—-

A mid-December chill whisked through the air. It was quiet at this time of year, the songbirds hibernating and the trees bare of their rustling canopies. Residential Kyoto was as calm as ever, residents going about their daily lives in the housing districts and students walking to and form school each day.

In front of the Itoshi household, a taxi pulled up. A dash of red hair stepped out, rolling a suitcase up to the front gates.

It really has been ages… Sae thought, punching in the access code.

<END>