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“...hey Rhaast?”
Hmm?
“What the fuck are we supposed to get Yone for Christmas?”
...oh dear.
Kayn pushes himself up further in bed from his lazy sprawl, flooded with not-quite-adrenaline at the realization that they have like just over three weeks to figure out what the hell to get their... boyfriend? Lover?
Bah. Those words feel so cheap-
“Well what the hell do you wanna call him?” Kayn grumbles, scrubbing at his face. His relationship with Rhaast is easy – they're soulmates, obviously. Cranial roommates, ride-or-die besties, the works. With Yone there's always that layer of uncertainty, like he's not quite sure what the man is thinking at any given time, or how he'll respond to his and Rhaast's great ideas. “I haven't heard suggestions from you about titles or gifts.”
He's Ours, obviously.
“Oh yeah, that'll do wonders for the lunatic rumors.” Kayn rolls his eyes extra hard, hoping it swirls Rhaast up in there. “Just gonna walk around referring to Yone as 'ours' – that's definitely normal.”
No one thinks you're normal anyway.
“-and even if I did-” Kayn continues, ignoring the peanut gallery, “-that doesn't solve the problem of what we're getting 'ours' for Christmas.”
We could always ask him what he wants.
For a millennia old demon, Rhaast sure is shit at this whole relationships thing.
“We can't just ask him, it has to be a surprise.”
He can feel Rhaast rolling their eyes the other way – never super pleasant when they move without Kayn's permission.
Better to ask than to surprise him with something he doesn't like, isn't it?
“Well yeah, but we're not going to get him something he doesn't like, obviously.”
Ah yes, my mistake, Mutt. I forgot that you're asking me about gifts because you are already brimming with great ideas.
“Yeah, and clearly my mistake was asking you in the first place.”
One of an uncountable sea.
“Oh fuck off.”
That at least is an easy request, Rhaast chuckles as he moves their hand down to Kayn's waistband. Perhaps we'll get some creative juices flowing.
It's not the worst idea Kayn has ever heard – or the worst come-on from Rhaast.
They can always brainstorm later.
Later becomes several days, and they are no closer to figuring out what they should give Yone – though they have narrowed down things they should certainly not give him.
Like sex toys.
“I still think it was a perfectly fine idea.”
He has class, Shieda... unlike someone.
“Oh please, you're trying to tell me that Mr. Sensory Deprivation with his box of toys wouldn't appreciate something kinky?”
I'm telling you he wouldn't appreciate opening it under the tree in front of his friends and family.
Which... okay, fair. Yone would probably kill him if he unwrapped a giant rubber cock in front of Yasuo, or Akali, or whoever. But still.
“Well... can't we get him more than one thing?”
He feels Rhaast huff somewhere to the left of his eyeball, making him twitch.
You were only planning on getting him one thing in the first place?
“Wha- no!” Kayn sputters, suddenly defensive – which is ridiculous considering Rhaast can't drag him for shit, he hasn't gotten anyone a gift in years-
I most certainly have, Rhaast grumbles, flashing images of all the things he's ordered for Kayn or the rest of the band while inhabiting his body – which doesn't feel like it should count. Oh please, and just how else am I supposed to gift something without going through this vessel?
“Oh, back to vessel huh? Am I sleeping in the dog house too?”
You're always sleeping in the dog house, Mutt. Your very presence makes any house one for the dogs.
“...Touche.”
There's a beat that's not quite awkward – really they're too entangled for anything to be awkward anymore – but he almost wishes Rhaast was here with him so they could share that 'well what now' glance that looks so funny on his demon-y face. Mostly he just wishes Rhaast was always around in general... not that it would make brainstorming any easier since they spend half the time in bed together.
Or against the wall together, Rhaast teases, making Kayn smirk at the dent in the wall next to his door, Don't worry, Mutt. We never stay parted for long.
“Aren't we technically more parted when you yank yourself out of my brain and into a body than when you're stuck in my head?”
...don't think so hard about it, we don't want to break your head before I 'yank myself out.'
Kayn huffs a laugh, then a loooong sigh. He flops back in his chair until it risks tipping, frowning up at the ceiling, no closer to finding a good gift for Yone.
“What if I just tie myself up naked in ribbons and lay on his bed?”
You show up naked on his bed at least once a week, Rhaast reminds him, And mostly it makes more laundry for him.
“Well what the hell can I even get him then?” Kayn growls, dragging his hands through his hair, “You know Yone is way the hell out of my league – I've got no clue what kind of shit to get him now that we're... whatever you called us-”
He's Ours-
“-and I'm not gonna get him something boring and practical that just reminds him that he takes care of the house like he's a damn maid, or any fancy coffee shit that encourages him to work himself to death, or practical sweaters that would probably be the wrong material and wrong color and not even his taste because I'm a street rat and he's a supermodel-”
Remember that time you were supposed to go back to therapy?
“-like honestly, what even else is there? How do you tell a guy you love and appreciate him with a thing when that guy can buy whatever he wants? And he doesn't like big flashy gestures, and I can't write him a song without his producer brain figuring out how to improve it, and-”
Perhaps you should drink on it, Rhaast suggests wryly, poking and prodding at the squishy membrane between their minds, It can't be a worse idea than spiraling over it.
“I'm pretty sure our 'drink on it' days were real shitty, Rhaast – in case you've forgotten waking up in some nice cozy gutters.”
Well, you could always ask his brother.
…
He... could. Except.
Oh please, so you choked on his cock once – it's not like you haven't been around each other since.
“Never alone,” Kayn grumbles, rubbing his hands down his face. “Bad optics.”
For who? Yone trusts you.
“Last thing I need is to stir up some shitstorm about me fucking a pair of brothers.”
Well, technically-
“It wasn't at the same time, it doesn't count!”
Rhaast's snort is almost insulting.
Not like you'd complain if it had been.
Kayn doesn't bother to defend himself, Rhaast knows all his secrets and his search history. Really, he knows far too much about a lot of things to be anything but a pain in Kayn's ass.
Literally.
Literally.
So you'll text the brother, Mutt?
Kayn texts the brother.
They agree to meet for lunch in an upscale cafe known for its discretion with high profile clientele – something Kayn appreciates – and Yasuo has already acquired a table in the corner and is sipping on something in a fancy teacup when Kayn walks in.
Still handsome, Rhaast notes – as though either of the brothers could ever be anything else.
Kayn puts off the awkward greetings for an extra few minutes and orders a hot cocoa, lurking in the corner until it's ready, and then he can't put it off any longer.
“Hey,” he calls as he shuffles up with a hand in his pocket, feeling for all the world like an awkward teenager seeing a former crush.
“Ah, Kayn!” Yasuo smiles as he turns, setting the cup down and standing to pull Kayn into a half back-slap half-hug. “It's good to see you.”
“Yeah, been a while, right?” Kayn coughs awkwardly and sets his cocoa down to return the gesture, then slumps into the chair across from Yasuo. “Sooo...”
“My brother is awful to buy for, right?” Yasuo offers a conspiratorial grin as he pulls out his phone. “I take a picture of him opening whatever I get him every year, just to keep track of the painful face he makes trying to convince me he likes it.”
I can see now that this one is definitely the younger brother...
The folder is title “Yone :)” and is maybe two dozen pictures of grimaces in various stages of rictus – all of them hilarious, but none of them ones Kayn wants to see when Yone opens his gift.
“What did you get him these times?”
Yasuo grins even wider, snickering as he zooms in on an assortment of oddball gadgets – some of which Kayn recognizes from the garage – and some that are clearly awful gag gifts.
“Oh, you know, things I know he won't like.”
Kayn doesn't bother to hold in his snort, thinking of all the strange and horrible things he's gotten for Akali over the years – including the subscription to a service that mails a fermented vegetable of the month and never fails to make her P.O. box smell like farts for a week.
“I hope that all this practice getting him things he hates means you know what he actually likes.”
“Yone was never a gift person, not even growing up. He's very... ah... dry?” Yasuo shrugs and tucks his phone away to pick up his tea. “He likes you, if that's any help.”
“Guess we're back to the plan of wrapping myself in ribbons then,” Kayn only half-jokes, sipping at his own cocoa.
“I can't imagine anyone wouldn't be fine with that,” Yasuo laughs, eyeing him in a way that makes Kayn remember the drag of calloused fingertips on his waist and a heavy weight on his tongue. “But I imagine it wouldn't be a surprise at this point.”
“More like a Tuesday,” Kayn confirms with a laugh, scrubbing at the back of his neck.
“Lucky bastard.”
Yasuo clicks his tongue and leans back in his chair, eyes narrowing and lips pursing as he thinks. The move looks so much like Yone while he's working that it's uncanny – except somehow totally different. Shorter, stockier, scruffier. A little roguish when he catches Kayn looking and winks.
Careful Shieda, you're like a fly to honey.
He knows . He's not going to fuck the sexy brother... again. They may not be exclusive – gods know none of them are and half the house is fucking each other – but there's gotta be a line somewhere, and he's pretty sure sleeping with a man's brother without asking for permission first crosses it.
Given the flash of a canine in Yasuo's grin, he's having similar thoughts.
“Well, we both know my brother is a quality time type of guy,” Yasuo continues, mercifully ignoring Kayn's unavoidable ogling, “And he never takes any of that time for himself... I bet he'd be thrilled to do something with you – to take a class or something.”
Kayn blinks at him for a shocked second, lips parting in surprise.
“That's-”
“Perfect.”
“Ah, hello, Rhaast.” Yasuo inclines his head and teacup with a smirk. “And yes, I know – he is my brother after all... if I didn't know how to grovel properly he'd have killed me by now.”
“Isn't he a pacifist?” Kayn laughs, trying to imagine Yone actually doing violence to anyone.
Someone forgot what happened with the cars filming the video...
Ah. Right. The Crash That Shall Not Be Mentioned.
“Believe me, he's mellowed in his age,” Yasuo assures him with a grimace. “We learned judo together as kids and he took great pleasure in making sure I knew what the floor tasted like.”
And doesn't that just open up a whole new world of possibilities. He always knew Yone was strong, but he'd never thought to wrestle him in bed before.
Down boy, unless you want to knock the table over when you stand up.
“Maybe I'll ask him to teach me,” Kayn laughs, knowing full well his ulterior motives might as well be a neon sign.
“If he won't, you know where to find me,” Yasuo offers with a grin, because he's a smooth motherfucker – and dangerous as hell for Kayn's self control. “In the meantime, maybe something more tame… photography perhaps?”
He did mention he wanted to go to some nature preserve... perhaps combine your efforts.
“Yeah... yeah that's a great idea.” Kayn nods, tapping his cup on the table as he begins to scheme. “Hey, does he like camping? Or like uh... the rich people version of it?”
“He's fond of running water,” Yasuo confirms, reaching to pull at the end of his own long ponytail. “The hair gets unmanageable without a hot shower and conditioner... but otherwise I think he could be convinced to wander into the woods with you.”
“Great.” Kayn can help but grin at him, even as he pushes to his feet. “Thanks, Yasuo. I've gotta go get plotting, but I owe you one.”
Yasuo smiles back – softer this time, a look he can't say he's ever seen on the man's face, and he's seen quite a few of his more intimate expressions.
“You both make my brother happy. I should probably be thanking you for caring enough to ask.”
Eugh. Your sappy feelings are spilling everywhere, Mutt.
As if the ones he can feel squirming around his skull aren't even worse.
“Does that mean we're even then?” Kayn asks with a teasing grin – one that Yasuo returns.
“Not a chance – I'll call you to collect when I need someone to wrangle Akali.”
A week of scheming and plotting and planning and slinking around later – they have a plan. A pretty good one if Kayn does say so himself.
One that it only took you several accomplices and an informant or two to come up with.
Still, a plan is a plan.
Now all he has to do is wait to sweep Yone off his feet – and in the meantime...
Naked on his bed?
“You read my mind.”