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Jeongguk lies on his bed, smoking his third cigarette of the day. Smoke fills the room as he stares at the grey ceiling above him. A bowl of strawberries sits on his nightstand, still untouched after 30 minutes.
He can’t think straight. He wishes he could eat them, but the cigarettes are already reminding him of his lover, he doesn’t need the strawberries to make things worse. Since Jeongguk's parents found out he's dating another man, they’ve been isolating him at home and monitoring his every move, despite him being over the age of 18 already.
They were kissing among the strawberry fields of Jeongguk’s uncle’s farm when his parents found them – he invited him there knowing that his parents would be home. He had told his uncle about Taehyung, and he did nothing but show support towards them. As a matter of fact, he tried to calm Jeongguk’s dad down as Taehyung was hiding behind Jeongguk, his lip quivering as he held onto Jeongguk’s shirt for dear life.
“Are you not ashamed, son?!” his father screamed, pointing at the boy standing behind Jeongguk, his stare fixed on his son, “A man?! Did we teach you nothing?!” he continued, his tone louder and drops of saliva escaping his mouth as he yelled like a mad man.
“You taught me a lot, but you never taught me how or who to love. That’s up to me, isn’t it? Why is it so hard for you to face the fact that I love him?” Jeongguk replied calmly, though his eyes were filled with desperation. He held Taehyung’s trembling wrist, to reassure him that he would never let his father touch him.
Taehyung’s eyes opened shot, Jeongguk had never told him he loved him and he couldn’t have chosen a worse time to do so.
“Jeong—“Jeongguk turned towards Taehyung, he cupped his cheeks and smiled at him softly, “It’s fine, baby. Everything’s going to be—“ He gets cut off by his father grabbing him by his shoulder, his grip was strong enough to pull him away from the latter, “You’ll never see him again, understood?” his dad whispers evil, sparing a single glance at Taehyung, filled with anger.
He feels pain whenever he thinks of that day, because since then, he never had the courage to meet up with Taehyung – he didn’t know what his father could’ve done. He didn’t want him to touch him in any way, shape or form. Jeongguk stares at the strawberries, the strawberries that Taehyung absolutely loves. They always used to steal some from Jeongguk’s uncle’s farm – and he would always let Taehyung eat most of them and kiss him right after, to taste the strawberries himself.
Jeongguk picks up one of the now-warm strawberries from his nightstand, while his pointer and middle finger of the same hand hold the cigarette. He stares at it for a while before taking a bite, and Taehyung's face pops into his mind once again. His eyes squeeze shut, and his other hand presses against his forehead as he tries to clear his thoughts. But it’s hard—really hard.
He misses him. He misses him in ways he can’t even put into words. He misses his touch. He misses his soft lips grazing his own, just to tease him. He misses holding his small waist, pulling him closer, and kissing his strawberry juice-covered lips. He had never told him he loved him before the fight with his dad, and he deeply regrets it. He wishes he could’ve said it earlier, and in a different way. He could’ve told him in the strawberry field, during one of their walks on the beach, or in Jeongguk’s bed whenever his parents weren’t home. However, he chose to do it in that moment, in case he was never going to see Taehyung again.
He shakes his head, placing the strawberry back in the small bowl and takes one more puff from his cigarette – he stands up, grabbing the bowl from the nightstand. He feels something paper-like stuck to the bottom of the bowl. He raises his arm up, his neck tilting to the right as he tries to check whether there is or not a piece of paper there – and there is one.
“He goes to your uncle’s farm every day in hopes to see you.
I’m so sorry your dad does not support you, but I always will.
I’m your mother after all, right? Go to your uncle’s farm.
He’s waiting for you there, I love you.
- Mom”
Jeongguk could not believe his eyes – this whole time, he thought his mother was also against his relationship with Taehyung.
He doesn’t think about it much, though – he quickly gets dressed, putting on a t-shirt and random pants he finds lying on his chair.
As he skips down the stairs, he sees his mom in the kitchen, baking a chocolate cake, one of his favorites. She notices him and flashes him a smile, muttering, “He loves you too.” Jeongguk doesn’t say much; he runs over to his mom and gives her a kiss on the cheek.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he whispers into her ear.
“I get it, I get it... now go,” she chuckles, giving her son a pat on the back.
And Jeongguk runs. He runs insanely fast to his uncle’s farm. The scenery looks almost magical: the sun is setting, painting the sky in bright pinks and oranges. It reminds him of that one time when he and Taehyung were lying in the grass, peppering each other with kisses and light touches. They both loved sharing small intimate moments – the ones that have now been missing for weeks, the ones they will soon manage to have again.
As Jeongguk reaches his uncle’s farm, his wandering eyes search for Taehyung – he can’t see him anywhere and his heart starts beating fast as if it wasn’t already. What if he left? What if he changed his mind?
“Jeongguk?” a familiar voice calls out for him from behind him.
He turns around, his eyes landing on none other than Taehyung, exiting his uncle’s house and running toward him. Jeongguk sighs in relief, flashing a smile as he walks toward the running man, who swiftly jumps into his arms as soon as he gets closer. Jeongguk holds him up by his thighs, his hands traveling to his waist as Taehyung tightens his grip around Jeongguk’s hips.
The hug is silent – Taehyung nuzzles his face in the crook of Jeongguk’s neck and Jeongguk does the same. He can feel the latter’s tears on his neck and hear light sobs.
“Taehyung, baby..” Jeongguk whispers, his fingers go through Taehyung’s hair, trying to calm him down as much as possible. He doesn’t blame him, though. He feels like crying as well but he wants to be strong, he wants to be strong for him, “I told you everything was going to be fine.”
Taehyung unwraps his legs from Jeongguk’s waist, and as soon as his feet touch the ground, Jeongguk finally manages to see his lover’s face up close after such a long time, “Did you get prettier or am I seeing things?”
Taehyung chuckles, playfully slapping Jeongguk’s arm. There’s a moment of silence between the two before Taehyung starts sobbing again, audibly this time.
“Your mom...” Taehyung begins, hiccupping as soon as he starts talking. “Your mom saw me and... and she said s-she was going to talk to y-you...” he continues, tears now relentlessly streaming down his face. “I thought I’d never see you again.” Another loud sob escapes his mouth.
Jeongguk looks at him in awe. His hands reach Taehyung’s cheeks to wipe away his tears, a smile creeping up his face as he watches his boyfriend sob. He finds him adorable, even in times like this.
Jeongguk keeps his hands on his cheeks, caressing them as he waits for Taehyung’s breathing to get steady again, “She told me you’ve been coming here every day, is that true?” Jeongguk asks, his gaze shifting from Taehyung’s eyes to his lips. And when Taehyung nods, his heart breaks.
“Oh, baby... I’m so sorry.” Jeongguk coos, he walks closer to Taehyung as he keeps holding his cheeks – he finally unites their lips in a kiss that they’ve been longing for God knows how long. It’s a slow, chaste kiss. They’re savoring each other, they’re kissing like it’s their first time ever, and truthfully, it feels like the first time considering the amount of time they spent away from each other.
Jeongguk can taste Taehyung’s tears on his lips, and his heart sinks once again at the thought of Taehyung going to the farm every day and finding nothing but a field full of strawberries.
Taehyung’s breath finally starts to become steadier as they keep kissing. He missed this. He missed him. He can’t put into words how badly he’s been wanting to feel his lips on his, feel his hands on him, and hear his voice again.
Jeongguk pulls away to start kissing Taehyung’s wet cheeks – he wants to kiss his tears away.
“I,’ kiss, “love,’ another kiss, “you” and one more kiss.
Taehyung’s breath hitches when he hears Jeongguk pronounce those 3 words. He’s been wanting to hear them for so long and he’s been wanting to say them for equally as long.
“You don’t have to say it back, I understand that you might not feel the same way now but—“
“I love you too, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to say that.” Taehyung finally breathes out, a weight lifting off his chest.
“Yeah?” Jeongguk pulls him closer by his waist, “I guess we love each other, then.”
“I guess we do.” Taehyung smiles, wrapping his arms around Jeongguk’s neck – it’s crazy how Jeongguk always manages to make him feel butterflies every time he lays his gaze on him.
Jeongguk gently squeezes his waist as realization hits him – he’s with him again, and Taehyung loves him back. He can’t help but stare at the latter’s perfect features; he almost feels like he doesn’t deserve him.
Jeongguk hugs him once again, laying his head into the crook of Taehyung’s neck, inhaling his scent and closing his eyes. He feels at peace, he wants to feel this way forever.
Taehyung runs his fingers through his hair, kissing the side of his neck, “Do you want to lay down like we used to? Here on the grass?” Taehyung asks as his lips graze the latter’s neck and Jeongguk hums, slowly nodding his head.
As Jeongguk pulls away, he grabs Taehyung’s hand to pull him away from the strawberries and find an emptier spot for them to lay on.
“Jeongguk!!” a voice calls out for him, a voice he was not planning on hearing anytime soon.
Taehyung’s eyes open shot as he realizes who the owner of that voice is – Jeongguk’s dad.
Instinctively, Jeongguk stands in front of Taehyung, his back facing him. He has no intention of leaving and if needed, he’s ready to fight him, “Leave! I’m not going to let you ruin this again!” Jeongguk screams, backing up as he sees his dad slowly walk over to him.
“Jeongguk, listen to me—“ he asks in a calm manner, but gets cut off.
“No, I do not want to listen to you. Please leave, leave if you don’t want me to make you leave.” Jeongguk’s tone is stern, a tone that his dad had never heard before, especially directed to him.
His dad stops in his tracks, arms falling loosely by his sides as he sighs, defeated. As he does so, Jeongguk notices his mom running toward him, her gaze similar to his dad’s. “Please listen to him, we had a talk... Please...” she begs, out of breath as she stops running. Jeongguk’s eyes are now on his dad once again, waiting for him to speak.
“Uh, I know that what I said a few weeks ago wasn’t... nice...”
“It wasn’t.” Jeongguk interrupts him.
“Yeah… I wanted to apologize. You need to understand though that I’m not particularly used to seeing men engage with other men in that way. I will not stop you from seeing him—“
“It's not like I would’ve respected your decision anyway.” He cuts him off again.
“Can you let me finish? I will not stop you from seeing him, but you need to understand my point of view. I might not understand it now, but I might in the future. Your mom was trying her best to make me understand, but I told her I’ll need time. Is that okay with you?” He finally finishes, a hopeful gaze filling his eyes as he stares at his son, steam practically coming out of his ears.
Jeongguk initially doesn’t know what to say; he didn’t expect to hear an apology from his dad so soon – in fact, he wasn’t expecting one at all. He looks back at Taehyung, trying to find the answer in his eyes, and Taehyung nods. His gaze is soft as he looks at Jeongguk. “He sounds honest,” he whispers, only for Jeongguk to hear.
Jeongguk breathes in, closing his eyes, “That’s fine, sure.”
“Thank you—“
“Can you go now, please? I’m trying to spend some time with my boyfriend,” he replies, finally calming down. His dad nods, turns toward his wife, and gives her a sign to leave.
Jeongguk and Taehyung watch them leave, Jeongguk holds Taehyung’s waist with a hand, pulling him closer to his body, “You okay?” He asks, planting a kiss on Taehyung’s cheeks. The latter turns towards him, nodding, “I’m okay, baby. I really am now.”
“Hmm, I’m glad.” Jeongguk replies, pecking his lips, “Should we lay on the grass now?”
Jeongguk lies on the grass first, and Taehyung follows right behind. Jeongguk lies there, his arm spread out, waiting for Taehyung to lay his head on it – and he does so in a heartbeat. He quickly lies down, Jeongguk’s arm engulfing him in a hug as the latter places his head on his chest, inhaling his scent.
“You know, I smoked a cigar—“
“You what?” Jeongguk asks surprised, lifting his head a bit to look at him.
“Don’t act too surprised, I was curious, you know?” He begins his sentence, drawing small circles on Jeongguk’s chest, “Is it weird to say that, that cigarette tasted like you? It’s like.. I suddenly remembered feeling your kiss.” Taehyung lifts his head up and rests his chin on his chest.
Jeongguk chuckles; that’s the same way he felt while they were away from each other. He could barely eat strawberries because of it. “I know exactly how you feel.” He breathes in. “I feel that way whenever I eat strawberries. I can feel your kiss. They taste like you.” His chest lowers as he breathes out.
“They taste like me? Shouldn’t I taste like strawberries?” Taehyung questions, even though he feels the exact same.
“No, baby, they always taste like you.”