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Chapter Text

“Absolutely not!” Sirius stalks out of McGonnagal’s office. “I’m not doing it. They can kick me off the football team, she can even hold me back a year,but I am NOT joining Glee club.”

“I mean, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad?” James hurries to catch up with Sirius, who’s nearly knocking other students down like bowling pins with his long strides.

“Not so bad?! My brother is in glee club!” Sirius stops abruptly, glaring at his best friend.

“Oh is he? I forgot.” James looks sheepish, he scratches his cheek. Sirius resumes his march. Obviously James didn’t forget about Regulus being in the club; he probably had that in mind when he said that it might not be so bad. James has always had this weird fixation with trying to reunite the Black brothers, no matter how ardently Sirius assures him it’ll never happen.

He gets outside the school and immediately pulls his cigarettes from his front pocket, lighting one before they’re even off the school grounds.

“Sirius-”

“James.”

The cigarette smoke filling his lungs instantly relaxes him; his hands unclench and his shoulders fall. 

“I’m not doing it.”

“Sirius, come on. It’s our last semester, it’ll be for like three months at most. Plus, i know you love singing- you’re always doing it in the shower.”

This is true. Sirius does love to sing, he loves belting out ballads under the hot water, and singing along under his breath to whatever song comes on his playlist. But that’s different, obviously. No one is watching him do that, there’s no expectation to be good-which he is, but that’s also not the point here. 

James sighs deeply, setting his bag down on the ground to cross his arms.

“Well I’m going to do it.”

“I think this falls under ‘cruel and unusual punishment’ and I can’t believe you’re going along with it. We should be standing up for ourselves! Not letting McGonnagal get away with this- this tyranny!”

To be honest, after James and Sirius had gotten caught for their latest prank (setting off remote controlled stink bombs in Slughorn’s classroom right before Slug Club) Sirius was sure they were about to get their asses handed to them. The choice between joining  the school’s glee club because they’re short two members, or being off the football team and having a month of detention was not at all what he expected. He was also sure that James would be on his side though; so it’s been a day for sure.

“It’s glee club, not prison.” 

Sirius can tell James is getting frustrated, wrongly so. He’s the one being crazy here! Sirius throws the cigarette butt on the ground and stomps on it to put it out. He crosses his own arms and sticks out his bottom lip. He narrows his eyes. 

James holds out for longer than Sirius expects him to- a whole minute!- but soon he lets his arms hang by his sides and sighs again.

“You know, Peter is also in it. He plays the drums for them. We could ask Remus if he’ll join with us? He could be their guitar player.”

Sirius lips turn up at the corners. Oh James.

“Yes. Great idea, let’s get Moony’s opinion! I’ll bet he’s in the library right now.”

Sirius grabs James’ arm and hauls him off. This time, he’s certain things will go his way.

***

“Yeah sure, why not?”

Sirius jaw drops to the floor.

“Remus what the fuck?”

A girl sitting nearby shoots Sirius a dirty look, which he ignores.

Remus shrugs, turning the page of his notebook. Sirius can feel the delight radiating off James beside him.“Remus,” he tries, dropping to his knees on the carpeted floor and looking Remus in the eyes. “It’s glee club . Like, singing and dancing- on stage, in front of people. It’s like, musical theatre, which may i remind you, you hate!”

Remus furrows his eyebrows. “I don’t hate musical theatre. You just think that because I didn’t want to watch Mamma Mia for the third weekend in a row.” 

“Mmmm no i distinctly remember you saying something like ‘i hate musicals and musical theatre and anything that resembles them’ but- whatever that’s not the point. The point is -what do you mean sure?”

Remus looks at James, whose evil smile Sirius wants to wipe off his face.

“Is it because of Regulus? Is that why you don’t want to do it?” Remus looks at Sirius again.

Sirius stands up. “God. Not everything has to do with my stupid brother!” 

“I just think it could be fun. I mean, why not? Pete’s been doing it for two years now, maybe it’ll be fun for us to all do something together.”

“Yes Moony!” James shoves his fist towards Remus, who bumps it with his own fist while looking at Sirius with a lopsided grin.

“I hate you both and we’re getting divorced.”

Remus and James smile.

*******

The next Monday after school, Sirius finds himself standing outside the school’s band room.

“Ready?” James asks brightly.

Sirius clenches his jaw. 

Remus knocks their shoulders together gently. Sirius leans into the touch. He is grateful Remus is here, even though he’s the one forcing him to be here- is this what stockholm syndrome is like? Being grateful for your captor? Oh god, what is he getting himself into. He glances at Remus’ guitar case and all its stickers. He does love watching Remus play. Something about his nimble fingers strumming across the chords, those calloused hands wrapped around the neck of the guitar makes Sirius think about what they would feel like wrapped around- NOPE. STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY  SIRIUS. You are NOT going to get turned on right now. He steps away from Remus. He takes it back, Remus and his stupid guitar are the worst additions he could’ve asked for.

Remus gives him a funny look. 

“Let’s get it over with,” Sirius grumbles, pushing the door open and entering the first circle of Hell. The first thing he sees is the king himself, of course- Regulus. Regulus is sitting on one of the chairs towards the back of the room, laughing at something one of his friends said. His friends? Sirius takes in the sight of Barty Crouch Jr and Evan Rosier-Regulus’ demon spawn. Since when are they cheesy show choir members? Regulus, he understands-he’s always been a little performer- but those two? Sirius would’ve sooner imagined them in jail, or in an anime fanclub.

Evidently the shock is mutual.

“Is that your brother?” Barty Crouch Jr asks, in a voice that is too loud to be mistaken for subtle.

Regulus straightens his back. 

“Oh shit, it is!” Barty’s tone drips with sinister joy.

Evan elbows him. 

James fucking waves at them. Sirius is surprised at his own capacity to still feel shock at this point. 

“What are you- You’re waving at them? James. What alternate universe have i stepped into? Oh Lord, take me now!” 

Remus rolls his eyes fondly, propping up his heavy case against his side. “I’m gonna go set up with Pete over there. Don’t commit any murders without me.”

“I’m not gonna kill them.”

“I was talking about James.”

Sirius smiles despite himself. Oh how Moony understands him. 

“Come sit over here!” a feminine voice calls out. Lily, Mary and Marlene are sitting on the opposite side of the room from Regulus and his minions. To be honest, Sirius had forgotten that they were in this club. 

“Oh. Now I see. This was all a plot wasn’t it? You’re trying to get laid!” 

James sputters, turning red. “What?! No- I don’t? Me? I don’t have a crush, why would i?”

Sirius quirks an eyebrow. “You’re going to try to convince me you haven’t been mooning over Miss Lily Evans since we were 11? Really?”

“Oh, you mean Lily!” James laughs, but it’s more like a relieved puff of air. 

“Who else would I be talking about?”

“No one- let’s go sit by the girls!” 

Sirius and James settle down in empty seats; James sits beside Lily, and Sirius beside Marlene. 

Lily swishes her long red braids as she turns to Sirius, hitting James in the face with them.

“So, what are you going to sing first?”

“Huh?”

“Technically, you’re supposed to audition to be a member,” Marlene explains, “but since we’re so small we just let anyone in. Still, it’s tradition that whenever you join you have to do a song to like, show us your skills.”

“Can it be anything?” James asks.

“Yes, although since this is a school club we try to refrain from anything that’s too obscene or inappropriate.”

“Mm.” James nods solemnly. 

“What if the band doesn’t know the chords? Shouldn’t we get time to prepare?” Sirius asks.

“You say that as if ‘the band’ isn’t just the other half of your little ‘marauders’ gang  plus your brother on the keyboard,” Mary says, laughing.

“Regulus doesn’t sing? He just plays the piano?” James looks disappointed.

“Oh no, he sings too, to be honest half the time we just use karaoke tracks off youtube. We’re very kitsch,” says Lily.

At this point, Professor Trelawney, who runs the club, arrives in a flurry of long skirts and flying papers. “Sorry i’m late,” she says breezily. “Anyway- oh hello I see we have new artists joining us today.”

Sirius slides down in his chair; James perks up. 

“Oh, hello Remus,” Trewlawey says as she shuffles her papers onto a music stand. 

Remus catches Sirius’ eye and Sirius mouths “suck-up” at him. It’s unfair how Remus is just as mischievous as James and Sirius are, but adults seem to always look past that. It’s like everyone just lets him get away with anything because he’s bloody Remus, who’s perfect in every way. Sirius would let him too, but like, that’s irrelevant.

“Let’s see here,” Trelawney is peering around the class through her comically round glasses that make her eyes look way too big for her face; like a harmless alien. “I recognize some of you. Rosier? Is that Barty Crouch Jr? Ah, hello Mr Potter. And, sorry dear what’s your name?” She blinks at Sirius with those enormous brown eyes. He hears someone laugh-probably Crouch.

“Sirius. Black.” 

“Ah! Regulus’ older brother! Well, come on up then. Come and grace us all with your talent.”

“What? Me first?” Sirius feels the blood drain from his face. 

“C’mon show us what you’ve got!” 

“Barty, shut up,” Regulus hisses.

Trelawney looks at Sirius expectantly. Sirius’ eyes dart around the room; first at James, who’s giving him a small encouraging smile, then over at Remus and Peter. Peter looks panicked on Sirius’ behalf-a true friend- and Remus’ eyes are crinkling at the corners and he’s biting his lip. Oh fuck him, he’s lavishing in this. Why does his Moony love to see him suffer? Sirius’ll show him.

He stands up tall, shaking his head to let his hair fall across his shoulders. He smiles at his brother and friends, showing his teeth.

He struts to the front of the room-and panics again.

“Um…. I don’t have a song ready.”

“That’s fine,” Trelawney reassures him. She opens a battered laptop by her desk and turns it towards him. “It’s connected to the screen behind you and the speakers, so just pick whatever tickles your fancy.”

“Okay.” He looks at the front page of youtube, it’s already filled with various songs followed by the words 'karaoke version’ in the titles. Ariana Grande, Queen, Lana Del Rey (he wants to think that last one is one of the girls’- but he has a suspicion that might be Regulus’ choice artist). His eyes land on one video in particular, by Olivia Rodrigo. That’s the one. He won’t even need to look at the lyrics, it was number 2 in his spotify wrapped last year. Whether that’s embarrassing or not is up for interpretation.

He glides back to the center of the ‘stage’ trying to gather up his confidence. Remus is still stifling a giggle; Sirius flips him the bird while Trelawney isn’t looking.

The song starts up and Sirius starts speaking the opening lines.

   Haven’t heard from you in a couple months

   But I'm out right now and I'm all fucked up 

As he says/sings them, he starts to find his rhythm, his nerves ebbing away until all that’s left is the lyrics and the energy he puts behind them.

 And you're callin' my phone and you're all alone

   And I'm sensing some undertone

   And I'm right here with all my friends

   But you're sending me your new address

   And I know we're done, I know we're through

He gets really into it, his body moving almost without his intention, his lips forming a pout when they aren’t moving.

   But, God, when I look at you

   My brain goes, "Ah"

He looks at Remus.

   Can't hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

   Like blah-blah-blah (Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

Remus is smiling at him genuinely now, no mockery in his expression; it causes butterflies to flap their wings inside his stomach. God, why is he so fucking- well as Olivia herself said, his brain has gone a bit ‘ah’.

   Should probably not

   I should probably, probably not

   I should probably, probably not

   Seeing you tonight

   It's a bad idea, right?

   Seeing you tonight

   it's a bad idea, right?

   Seeing you tonight

   It's a bad idea, right?

Does Remus know what he does to Sirius? When he looks at him like that? 

   Fuck it, it’s fine.

   Yes, I know that he's my ex

   But can't two people reconnect?

   I only see him as a friend

   The biggest lie I ever said

Sirius almost trips over those last two lines, for some reason.

   Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

   But can't two people reconnect?

   I only see him as a friend

   I just tripped and fell into his bed

He grabs hold of an invisible microphone, miming singing into it and serenading James and the girls as he does, unfortunately having a lot of fun.

   Now I'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans

   I know I should stop, but I can't

   And I told my friends I was asleep

   But I never said where or in whose sheets

   And I pull up to your place on the second floor

   And you're standing, smiling at the door

   And I'm sure I've seen much hotter men

He winks at Barty, who is stunned into silence.

   But I really can't remember when

   My brain goes, "Ah"

   Can't hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts) 

   like blah-blah-blah (Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

   Should probably not

He continues to sing towards the room, pointedly avoiding the direction where his two friends are standing by their instruments.

   I should probably, probably not

   I should probably, probably not

   Seeing you tonight

   It's a bad idea, right?

   Seeing you tonight

   it's a bad idea, right?

   Seeing you tonight

   It's a bad idea, right?

In the heat of the moment, he loses himself and once again his eyes find Remus’.

   Seeing you tonight

    Fuck it, it's fine

Fuck it.

   Yes, I know that he's my ex

   But can't two people reconnect?

   I only see him as a friend

   The biggest lie I ever said

   Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

    But can't two people reconnect?

   I only see him as a friend

   I just tripped and fell into his bed

   Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

   Can't two people reconnect?

   The biggest lie I ever said

  I just tripped and fell into his bed

   My brain goes, "Ah"

   Can't hear my thoughts

   The biggest lie I ever said

   My brain goes, "Ah"

   Can't hear my thoughts

   I just tripped and fell into his bed.

By the end, Sirius has worked up a sweat and his hair is falling in his face. He sweeps it off his forehead and bows dramatically. James rises up to give him a one man standing ovation. Barty wolf whistles. The girls are giggling and clapping.

Regulus stays silent, but Sirius doesn’t care, he only has eyes for one person. Remus’ smile is gentle, but his eyes are sparkling. Sirius wants to kiss him; this whole thing is turning out to be a bad idea indeed.

“Well, thank you for that Mr Black. Very enthusiastic.” 

Sirius slides back into his seat, sinking low again. 

“Who would like to go next? Mr Crouch?” 

Barty shrugs, glancing at Evan before getting up to take the stage.

“Do you know how to play any Panic! songs?” He asks Remus and Pete.

“I know ‘I write sins’ but not without the chords in front of me,” Remus says. 

“Useless.” Barty rolls his eyes and saunters over to the laptop. 

“Hey!” Peter squeaks, quietly. 

Barty loads up his song and stands in the front. He slouches, cocking his hip slightly. His expression is bored. Much to Sirius’ dismay, he looks kind of cool. He has that whole “I’m hot and I know it, but I don’t care” vibe; what with his messy brown hair and eyebrow piercing, and his green school jumper hanging loose over his shoulders.

    is it still me that makes you sweat?

   Am I who you think about in bed?

Oh god- he’s good. He has a solid voice and  he hits the notes perfectly, but more than that, it’s his whole attitude. The sensuous lyrics roll off his tongue like he’s the one who wrote them.

   When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you’re sliding off your dress?

   Then think of what you did

   And I hope to god he was worth it

   When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch his skin

Sirius can’t help himself, he sits up straighter in his chair and leans forward to watch. Fuck, is Regulus’ evil friend kind of…hot? 

   I’ve got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch a better fuck

The girls collectively gasp. Sirius bites his lip. 

   Than any boy you’ll ever meet, sweetie you had me

Barty looks at Evan at those lyrics. Evan looks away quickly. 

   Girl, it was me, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of

   Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat

   No, no, no, you know it will always just be me

   Let’s get these teen hearts beating faster, faster

Sirius wills his own teen heart to slow down. He involuntarily glances over at Remus, but he looks away when Remus flicks his own eyes back towards him. This does not help his heart rate lessen. 

   So, testosterone boys and harlequin girls

   Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?

   So, testosterone boys and harlequin girls

   Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?

Fuck. This is annoying, why is he actually good? Sirius’ competitive side is activating, growing stronger with every line.

   So, I guess we're back to us,

   oh cameraman, swing the focus

   In case I lost my train of thought, where was it that we last left off?

   (Let's pick up, pick up)

   Oh, now, I do recall, we were just getting to the part

   Where the shock sets in, and the stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick

   I hope you didn't expect to get all of the attention

   Now, let's not get selfish

  Did you really think I'd let you kill this chorus?

Sirius isn’t the only one begrudgingly impressed. He hears Marlene whisper to Mary “damn, I didn’t know he could sing like that.” Sirius frowns.

   Let’s get these teen hearts beating faster, faster

Barty finishes the rest of the song without missing a beat or a word. When he’s done, he smirks. James starts clapping along with everyone else and Sirius shoots him daggers with his eyes. 

“James!” He hisses.

“Sorry, sorry,” James says. “That was pretty good though.” 

Sirius groans.

“Wow, lots of talent today!” Trelawney says enthusiastically. “Mr Rosier, would you like to go next?”

“Sorry, I um. I have a sore throat.” Evan coughs and crosses his legs as Barty returns to the seat beside him. His voice does sound quite rough.

“Bless you. I hope you feel better,” Trelawney tells him earnestly. 

“I guess that leaves me then,” James says, too cheerful for Sirius’ liking. James stands up and takes his turn.

“Need us to play anything?” Peter asks. Sirius knows that Peter and Remus have played together and have a few songs in their repertoire they could pull out on the spot, but James just shakes his head. 

“Nah, I have an idea. Thank you though.”

The speakers rattle with the bass from the first notes of the song he picks. Immediately, the energy in the room picks up.

James grins. 

   ¿Cómo te llamas, baby?

   Desde que te vi supe que eras pa' mí

Of course- Of course James would show off his native tongue- and his dance moves. He’s already rolling his hips expertly to the rhythm; so much for nothing too obscene or inappropriate. Poor prudish Regulus has already gone almost entirely red.

   Cómo te llamas, baby? 

  Desde que te vi supe que eras pa' mí

  Dile a tus amigas que andamo' ready (¡Sube!)

  Esto lo seguimo' en el after party (Su, ey-ey)

James is not as good of a singer as Sirius, (or Barty) but what he lacks in raw talent he makes up for in his stage presence and performance. He’s clearly in his element and having the time of his life, therefore, everyone else is too. Someone should turn on the AC though- is it just Sirius or is it hot in here?

   Con calma, yo quiero ver como ella lo menea

   Mueve ese poom-poom, girl 

James is moving around and singing in all directions, giving everyone a show. Still, it seems like Regulus isn’t prepared for James’ direct attention when it lands on him and he somehow blushes harder. Sirius can’t decide if he’s more irritated at James, or if he wants to revel in Regulus’ obvious embarrassment.

   I like your poom-poom, girl 

   Con calma, yo quiero ver como ella lo menea

   Mueve ese poom-poom, girl

   Tiene adrenalina, en medio 'e la pista, vente, hazme lo que sea

   I like your poom-poom, girl Hey!

At this point, all the girls and even Trelawney are fanning themselves. Even Remus looks a bit pink in the face, which makes Sirius’ eyebrow twitch.

   Ya vi que estás solita, acompáñame

   La noche es de nosotro', tú lo sabe' (You know!)

   Que ganas me dan-dan-dan

   De guayarte, mami, ese ram-pam-pam, yeah

   Esa criminal como lo mueve e' un delito (Oh)

   Tengo que arrestarte porque empiezo y no me quito

James is singing almost entirely towards the side of the room where Regulus and Co. are sitting. Sirius almost jumps up from his chair when James does this move where he thrusts his hips forward-but Trelawney is faster.

“Well, thank you Mr Potter!” She says, a bit breathlessly. She hits the pause button on the computer.

James just smiles dopily; the bastard barely even broke a sweat! 

He returns to his seat, still grinning. Lily pointedly doesn’t look at him, which is a sure sign she liked the show. Mary and Marlene have no qualms about gassing up James’ ego though, and immediately start showering him with lavish praise. 

“I knew you were Columbian, but I didn’t know you were so….” 

“Hot,” Mary fills in for her friend. “We didn’t know that you were so hot!”

“Yeah,” Marlene agrees with a giggle. “What she said.”

“Oi. We all saw it, we all have eyes. No need to lay it on so thick,” Sirius grumbles.

“Oh Sirius, you were great too! Don’t be jealous,” Mary chides him.

“Me? Jealous? Don’t be ridiculous.”

Trelawney seems to have composed herself, but a quick glance at his brother tells Sirius that he hasn’t. Evan is staring at James, looking pissed off, so Sirius glares back; it’s not James’ fault Regulus is such a baby.

“Okay, Mr Rosier you can do your song next week. For now we have about 40 minutes left, so let’s get started with some warm up exceriszes?” The girls and Regulus stand up, so everyone else does the same.

“Let’s start with some lip trills, yes?” Trelawney makes a kind of buzzing noise by rubbing her lips together and humming at the same time. It looks and sounds utterly crazy. More ridiculous, is the fact that James immediately joins in and copies her along with everyone else! Even Remus, who’s only there to play guitar, does too! What has the world come to? Maybe Sirius will befall some kind of tragic accident before Thursday rolls around. He can only hope.

Chapter Text

On Tuesday, professor Vector lets out her last period math class (or as she likes to call it arithmetic, which like, this is 2024, not the 70’s!) early. Sirius rushes across the school to get to Moony’s English class. He gets there just as the bell rings and students flood the hall, including Remus and Lily, who are talking to each other about whatever book they’re being forced to read; though he swears he catches the words ‘fascinating’ and ‘accidentally read ahead’. 

“Moony! What are you doing tonight? Let’s go see a movie or something- I still have some cash from mum’s allowance.”

“Hello to you too Sirius,” Lily says.

“Hi Lily, how are you? Anyway Moony, what do you say?”

“Um.” Remus adjusts the straps of his bookbag on his shoulder. He looks at Lily.

Sirius frowns. He stops in front of some random kid’s locker. “What?” 

Lily lifts her arms, exasperated. “Oh just tell him Remus.”

“Tell him what?” Sirius asks.

“Um,” Remus says again, his eyes focusing on anything but Sirius.

It’s really too bad Remus is so tall, because Sirius would absolutely love to shove him into this locker right now. Maybe it’s worth a try; it doesn’t have a lock on it.

“Remus is going over to Evan’s with Pete and your brother tonight. They’re going to work on Evan’s song,” Lily tells him, looking at Remus.

Sirius freezes, his hands on the hinge, about to open it.

“Huh?”

Remus raises his shoulders halfheartedly. “Well, Evan asked us yesterday before we all left.”

“And you said yes?” 

“I mean, yeah?”

Sirius drops his hands. He turns on his heel and struts away. “What is the world coming to? You think you know someone for seven years. Seven years! And then they go and turn around and do this? Teaming up with the enemy?”

Remus follows behind him at a walking pace. Damn him and his long, toned legs. 

Lily calls out behind them: “Bye Remus! See you tomorrow!”

“Sirius, you remember what it was like when you came out,” Remus says.

“What?” Sirius slows down. “What does that have to do with anything?” 

Remus runs a hand through his hair, leaving it charmingly ruffled. Sirius wants to run his own hands through it- he bets Remus’ hair is super soft. Maybe he should ask him what his hair  routine is.

“Evan’s been out for ages. I don’t think anyone even thinks about that anymore. To be honest I totally forgot until you just brought it up,” Sirius says.

“Oh I'm sure that’ll make him happy to hear.”

“What? It’s true! You’re the one who mentioned it! I still don’t understand what Evan being trans has to do with you ditching me,” Sirius whines.

“First of all,” Remus stops walking and  crosses his arms over his chest, his bag hanging off his left shoulder. “I’m not actually ditching you since we never had plans.”

Sirius scrunches his nose.

“Second, I think  the song he chose is really personal to him, and he’s shy about singing in front of everyone. So, if we can help then I think that’s a good thing. Don’t you?”

Sirius looks at a spot above Moony's shoulder. What is he supposed to say to that? 

“No one’s forcing him to be there,” is what he goes with.

Remus frowns. The crinkle in between his eyebrows is adorable. It also makes Sirius feel bad.

“Fine. Go hang out with my little brother and his little friend and be a good ‘ally’ or whatever. I’ll just go home and watch sad movies on my own and write in my diary about how sad and alone I am.”

“You could hang out with James?”

“It’s Tuesday.” Tuesday is when James volunteers at the local animal shelter. Sirius does not know where his best friend finds the time or the energy to be such a good person. It’s sickening really.

“You could do your homework?” Remus offers.

Sirius blinks at him.

Remus finally uncrosses his arms to place a hand on Sirius’ shoulder.

“You’re a great friend.”

Internally, Sirius screams.

He does go home to hide in his room. At least his space here at the Potter’s feels more like home than his parent’s place ever did. He tries not to think about his brother as he drops his bag onto the hardwood floor and flops onto his soft downy mattress next to the window. The smell of Mrs Potter’s cooking, of onions and garlic and fresh cilantro, wafts up and fills Sirius with warmth. He takes in his surroundings; his dirty socks on the floor, his posters of Messi and Ronaldo and Britney Spears, the photographs above his desk of him and James and Pete and Remus. It’s hard to ignore the knot in his stomach when he thinks about his brother in his room at home-perfectly made black and grey sheets, dark oak furniture devoid of any personality. It’s fine though. Regulus likes it there. He’s happy. Probably. Even if he isn’t, why is that Sirius's problem? Sirius has bigger things to worry about! Like how to get out of this stupid club. And the issue of his friends suddenly undergoing personality transplants! And, perhaps most importantly, Remus being his ‘friend’ at all.

Sirius groans and buries his face into his pillow. It’s not like Remus is entirely straight. After Sirius was forced out of the closet, the marauders had all sat in James’ room just across the hall. James had confessed his own bisexuality proudly and promised to beat the shit out of anyone who even looked at him funny. He never tried it with Walburga Black, but Sirius doesn’t begrudge him that. In the end, he hadn’t needed to. Peter had been awkward, but still reassured Sirius that nothing would change in their friendship. Remus was quiet, which wasn’t unusual for him but still left a hole in Sirius’ fragile heart; until afterwards when they had been alone and Remus had shyly whispered “me too. I’m like you too,” without making eye contact. Sirius never told James or Pete about that, and Remus never brought it up again. 

Nearly two years have passed since, and sometimes Sirius wonders if he hallucinated that conversation entirely. It’s not like Remus has ever shown interest in girls, or dating, but still. Maybe he meant something else? Sirius ruminates on this more than he would like to admit. Especially when Remus goes and says stuff like ‘you're such a great friend.’ Sirius is a great friend. He could’ve been a lot more mean about Remus going off to fraternise with Regulus, deservedly so! At least Barty wasn’t going too, or else Sirius would’ve really gone off. Also, Sirius has respected Remus’ clear boundary about not wanting to talk about whatever his sexuality is, despite the fact that keeping this secret sometimes drives him insane. 

On one hand, Sirius loves praise, especially when it comes from Moony. It’s not like he needs the validation, or the compliments. But like, he’s not gonna complain about them either. But, on the other hand, there’s the dreaded F word. Honestly, he would rather Remus called him the other F word, the one that Orion spat out the same night of that talk. From Remus’ lips, he thinks the word would probably sound pretty nice. A lot nicer than friend anyway.

“Meu querido! Sirius love, would you like some aroz com pollo?” Mrs Potter’s voice rings across the hall. Sirius' stomach rumbles. She always seems to know just what he needs.

“Coming mum!”

“Good. I need you to set the table then.”

“Suddenly I have been overcome with a deep seated exhaustion and must take to bed.”

Euphemia laughs. Sirius extends his legs and plants his feet on the ground. In spite of himself, he smiles.

Tragically, Wednesday’s football practice does not bring about any life-threatening, or even mildly sympathy inducing injuries. So when Thursday afternoon rolls around, Sirius once again finds himself outside the band room. Horrible, really.

“Oh hello Mr Potter. Mr Black, Nervous, is it?” Trelawney greets them as they enter.

“What? I’m not nervous.” I’d just rather be anywhere else . 

Trelawney looks at Sirius. “Oh I'm sorry dear, I thought that was your name.”

James stifles a laugh.

“No, it’s Sirius-like the star?” Doesn’t she teach an astronomy elective?

He hears a suspicious cough from the side of the room his brother and his friends are already occupying. At least Sirius is a cooler name than Regulus. He glares at them.

“Oh yes! That makes a lot more sense. I’m sorry darling- won’t happen again.”

Remus and Peter are setting up their instruments in the corner as Lily, Mary and Marlene enter. Sirius turns his glare onto James. Not only are they participating in Glee club, now they’re even getting there early! 

“Wonderful! We’re all here now. Mr Rosier, would you like to come up?” 

Evan freezes for a moment before hunching over in his seat. Sirius relates. 

“Don’t be shy dear,” Trewlaney says gently. 

Evan’s face is flushed red. He looks at Barty, who gives his friend an encouraging nod. It makes Evan blush harder. He looks at Regulus next, who also nods solemnly. 

He gets up slowly, walking to the center of the room at a snail's pace.

“Oh! I forgot to mention,” Trelawney says suddenly, jumping up and rushing to the supply closet in the corner next to Remus. “Since we technically have ten members now, professor Flitwick has agreed to let us use his microphones!” 

The girls titter excitedly. Evan’s eyes widen almost comically. “Um- that’s- i mean- I don’t have to-”

“Oh don’t be silly,” Trelawney tuts, dragging out a microphone stand and placing it in front of him. “I’ll just go plug it in.”

Evan stands there, shoulders slumped, eyes darting towards his friends. A loud screech hisses from the microphone. Sirius cringes. 

“Perfect!” Trelawny trills. She sits down behind her music stand, crossing her legs. “Go ahead now love.”

Evan doesn’t move.

It’s Remus who gets things started. “Ready Evan?” he asks. He’s so good at that. Sirius fights an irrational surge of jealousy from shooting up his spine. Evan blinks, then nods once at Remus and Pete, who play the opening to the song. 

Sirius loves watching Remus play guitar. He gets this focused look on his face, his eyebrows furrow together, and sometimes he bites his lip. It’s very distracting. Not to mention the fact that he’s actually good at it too, which is so attractive by itself. When Evan sings the first line Sirius has to force his eyes away from Remus to look at the boy performing.

     I'm a dumb teen boy

     I eat sticks and rocks and mud

It comes out shaky and his voice cracks on the first words. Evan’s hands are buried in his pockets. 

    I don't care about the government 

    and I really need a hug

Evan turns towards Remus for encouragement, which Remus gives him with a small smile.

     I feel stupid, ugly 

    Pretend it doesn’t bother me

    I’m not very strong,  but

   I’ll fuck you up if you’re mean to bugs

Evan gathers his courage, the words coming out more clear and in tune. His hands are now resting by his sides. Sirius sees Regulus and Barty both with their lips turned up at the corners. It warms his heart a little to see Regulus being a good friend, at least.

Sirius can’t help but let his own smile tug on his lips as he watches Remus strum his chords. He turns his head quickly when Remus looks up.

    It's getting cold down here underneath the weather

    I skipped class to sit with you

    I really like your spotty sweater

Barty looks at his own green jumper and Sirius swears Evan’s face goes even more crimson.

    If ladybugs are girls

   How do you make kids together?

   What's it like in a female world?

   I bet it's just so much better

Sirius lets the lyrics sink it. Is it better in a female world? He looks at Lily and Marlene and Mary, who are all tapping their feet. Then he looks at James, wearing a big proud grin for this boy they aren’t even supposed to like on principle.

   I just turned 14 

  And I think this year, i’m gonna be mean

Evan’s cheeks are still pink, but his eyes are no longer wide and panicked. He’s holding the microphone now, very tightly but still. Sirius feels oddly proud too, watching Evan come out of his shell. He’s honestly got a decent voice too.

   Don’t mess with me, i’m a big boy now and i’m very scary

Sirius hears Barty laugh, but it doesn’t sound mean. It is a little funny, but Sirius thinks it makes sense. Didn’t he also have a mean phase? Where he just wanted to hurt everyone? On instinct, he looks at his brother. Their eyes meet for a second and they both look away at the same time.

     Don't mess with me, I'm a big boy now, and I'm very scary

    I punch my walls, stay out at night, and I do karate

     Don't message me 'cause I won't reply, I wanna make you cry

    Ain't that how it's s'posed to be? Though it isn't me

    Boys will be bugs, right?

    Boys will be bugs, right?

Sirius catches Remus’ eye again, and Remus breaks his focus for a second to dart his eyes towards Evan and raise a shoulder. Like, ‘see?’ Sirius rolls his eyes. He’s still a little salty that Remus abandoned him for this, but he does admittedly understand a little.

  I'm a dumb teen boy

  All I wanna do is quit

  My mum told me that she's worried

  And I couldn't give a shit

  I have friends who understand me

  Their names are spider, beetle, bee

   They don't say much, but

  They have always listened to me

Everyone in the room is tuned in, the music and lyrics striking home; it’s weirdly relatable to Sirius.

   The other boys at school

   Think it's cool to hate your parents

   But they're lying all the time

   The bugs advised that I should let 'em

Sirius again looks at his brother on instinct. Does Regulus hate their parents? He sure doesn’t act like it. 

     And if you wanna cry

    Make sure that they never see it

    Or even better yet

    Block it out and never feel it

Evan’s voice is coming out powerful now, the words seeming to really come from within him at the chorus.

    I just turned 14

    And I think I know everything

    Don't mess with me, I'm a big boy now, and I'm very scary

    I punch my walls, stay out at night, and I do karate

    Don't message me 'cause I won't reply, I wanna make you cry

    Ain't that how it's s'posed to be? Though it isn't me

   Boys will be bugs, right?

   Boys will be bugs, right?

The bridge and chorus repeat one more time. When Remus and Pete hit the last beat, Evan drops his hands from the mic. James is the first one on his feet, cheering and clapping loudly. The girls are next, starting with Lily. Sirius stands too, a moment later. Evan seems to return to his body, turning towards the band first before dropping his gaze to the floor. He shuffles back to his seat without making eye contact with anyone.

“That was awesome Ev!” Barty tells him with genuine enthusiasm. Even Regulus lets down his guard for a minute to reassure his friend. Sirius can see Evan smiling even with his eyes trained on the ground.

“That was lovely Evan,” Trelawney says. “And wonderful job boys,” she adds to Remus and Pete. Peter beams, and Remus just shrugs, but Sirius can see a little flush creep up his neck.

Trelawney stands in the middle of the room addressing everyone.

“Now, I know some of us are new so I'll just explain how we run things here.” 

Oh God, is he going to have to sing again? Sirius should’ve prepared some ideas, but he was truly banking on getting out of this by today.

“Every week, we have a theme. Usually Mondays we have a sort of open mic session or I let you practice your songs depending on how we’re all feeling. Thursdays we show off our work. Now, last week I assigned you to all pick a song by an artist or group from your backgrounds. Obviously those of you who just joined don’t have to participate, but feel free to jump in if you have an idea. Who would like to go first?”

Sirius is not expecting the first arm to shoot up into the air to almost hit him in the face with its enthusiasm, but he’s realizing that perhaps he does not know James Potter as well as he thought.

“Mr Potter?” Apparently. Sirius is not the only one confused.

“After his song on Monday, I asked him if he would do a duet with me,” Marlene explains, standing up. 

“You did?” Mary asks, frowning. Marlene smiles shyly.

“Well, alright.” Trelwaney retreats to her seat as James grabs hold of Marlene and walks her to the raised platform that they’re qualifying as a ‘stage’. 

“Be right back,” he tells her, plopping a dramatic kiss on her hand before releasing it as he goes to set up the song.

As soon as it starts playing on Youtube, Sirius fights a groan. James waggles his eyebrows at him.

James starts up, affecting a deeper voice than usual and holding the mic with his hips in a  loose stance while Marlene sticks hers out.

  Ladies up in here tonight

  No fighting, no fighting

  We got the refugees up in here

  No fighting, no fighting

  Shakira, Shakira

“Oh my god,” Lily says, laughing breathlessly.

James winks at her. 

   I never really knew that should could dance like this

   She make a man want to speak Spanish

   ¿Cómo se llama? (¡Sí!), ¿bonita? (¡Sí!)

   Shakira, Shakira

Marlene is dancing around him, swishing her hips and moving her waist with a surprising amount of control. It’s only then that Sirius notices she’s dressed up for the occasion, wearing a black skirt that’s definitely shorter than regulation- but he can see that there are shorts under it at least. She is a good dancer, not enough to make Sirius want to speak Spanish, but maybe enough to make him consider bisexuality as an option.

   Oh, baby, when you talk like that (Oh!)

   You make a woman go mad (Come on!)

   So be wise (¡Sí!), and keep on (¡Sí!)

   Reading the signs of my body (Put your hands up!)

Marlene doesn’t even bother with going to the mic when it’s her part; she just keeps moving her body while James does the same behind her. Predictably, Regulus has his eyes on the ceiling.  Though this time, Sirius almost understands where he’s coming from. 

   You know my hips don’t lie

   And I'm starting to feel you, boy (Come on!)

   Come on, let's go (Sí!)

   Real slow (Sí!)

   Don’t you see, baby? This is perfection

Marlene’s alto voice is surprisingly clear despite her dancing, and their bodies move in sync (though thankfully with a respectful distance between them- Sirius can see Trelawney’s fingers hovering over the space bar of her laptop).

   And I'm on tonight

   You know my hips don't lie

   And I'm starting to feel it's right

   All the attraction, the tension

   Don't you see baby, this is perfection

James is ready for his moment and grabs the mic again, grinning at Marlene as she continues shaking her hips.

   Hey Girl, I can see your body moving

   And it's driving me crazy

   And I didn't have the slightest idea

  Until I saw you dancing

   And when you walk up on the dance floor

   Nobody cannot ignore the way you move your body, girl

   And everything so unexpected - the way you right and left it

   So you can keep on shaking it

She does. Barty whoops.

   I never really knew that she could dance like this

   She makes a man want to speak Spanish

   Como se llama (si), bonita (si), mi casa (si, Shakira Shakira), su casa

   Shakira, Shakira

James steps away from the mic and lifts his arm for Marlene to twirl under it as she sings her part of the song.

   And I'm on tonight

   You know my hips don't lie

   And I am starting to feel you boy

   Come on lets go, real slow

   Don't you see baby asi es perfecto

She keeps singing until they get to a lyric in Spanish, which James sings flawlessly. Even Sirius once again feels a rush of heat at the way the words flow from his lips.

   Baila en la calle de noche

   Baila en la calle de día

Marlene repeats the Spanish words, but they come out a little harsh, the syllables don’t roll off her tongue as naturally as they did James’.   

   I never really knew that she could dance like this

   She makes a man want to speak Spanish

   Como se llama (si), bonita (si), mi casa (si, Shakira Shakira), su casa

   Shakira, Shakira

   Oh baby when you talk like that

   You know you got me hypnotized

     So be wise and keep on

   Reading the signs of my body

They repeat their individual parts, though Marlene’s voice is now coming out airier, clearly worn out by her hypnotizing dancing.

   Senorita, feel the conga, let me see you move like you come from Colombia -

James is clearly ready to keep going, but the music stops. Thank God. That was fun for sure, but Sirius doesn’t know if he can handle James rapping in front of everyone. Clearly Trelawney has some common sense at least.

“Thank you! That was very…” Trelawney trails off, struggling to find the words.

“Titillating?” Sirius offers.

Trelawney ignores him. “Well done.” James grabs Marlene’s hand again and drops them both into a large bow. 

Marlene is sweaty as she returns to her seat.

“I didn’t know you were Spanish?” Sirius says.

Lily narrows her eyes at him. “She’s half Colombian. We all know this.” 

“We do?”

James looks at him. “Yeah, we’ve talked about it before. She’s Colombian on her dad’s side.”

“Isn’t your dad dead?”

“Sirius!” James shoves him in the shoulder, but Marlene just laughs. 

“Yes he’s dead, he died when I was two. That’s why my Spanish is so shit.”

“Oh,” Sirius sinks into his chair. 

“Don’t beat yourself up too much,” Lily tells him. “We all know you only remember things when it comes to your marauders.”

Sirius sits up again, affronted. “That’s not true,” he protests.

“Okay, what’s Remus’ background then?” Lily asks, crossing her arms.

“He’s Welsh on both sides. His mum, Hope, was born in-”

“Exactly,” Lily says. Even Mary is looking at him apologetically, like ‘sorry but she’s right’. That’s not fair though, everyone knows that Remus is Welsh. He moved here from Wales! He still has his accent sometimes when he’s really sleepy, or really mad. Whatever. Sirius stands up and goes to sit next to Remus, who’s tuning his guitar.

“Hey Moony, what song would you pick, if you had to pick a Welsh artist?” He sits down beside him, swinging his legs.

“I wouldn’t,” Remus says, not looking up.

“Yeah, but like if you had to.”

“But I wouldn’t be in a situation where I have to.”

Sirius inhales deeply. 

“Okay, but like pretend. It doesn’t even have to be someone from Wales. Just like, if you had to pick any song.” 

“Why would I be in a situation where I’m forced to sing?”

Sirius chews the inside of his cheek.

“Okay what if,” he tries. “What if you were a werewolf-”

Remus meets his eyes. “A werewolf?”

“Yeah, like you know those guys who turn into wolves at the full moon? You’d be a good werewolf I think, I mean you’re already so mysterious and strong and….” Remus eyes widen a bit and Sirius changes tactics quickly. “Okay anyway, so what if you were a werewolf and you were trapped, like kidnapped by a bunch of other eviler wolves and they trapped you in a cage and the only way for you to get out is by like, annoying them really bad or something. So in this scenario, you have to sing to them to get them to let you out. What song are you picking then?”

Remus' mouth hangs open slightly, and his eyes are still a bit wide. He shakes his head and a strangled laugh comes out. “You’re really something Sirius.” 

Sirius locks his ankles together and bites his cheek harder. “That doesn’t answer the question though.”

Remus laughs again, still giving Sirius a bewildered expression. “Fine. If I had to pick a song in this scenario, I guess I would go with Changes by David Bowie. Does that make you happy?” 

“Immensely.” Sirius grins. Remus grins back. Sirius’ heart skips a beat and Remus’ knee accidentally knocks against his own. When did Remus’ lips get so close? Sirius holds his breath and-

“Mary, would you like to go next?” 

“I better go back over there,” Sirius says, getting up abruptly and rushing back to sit next to James.

Mary stands up, straightening her pink cardigan. “Sure, I’ll go. I’ll be performing on my own today,” she says, holding up her chin.

She sashays to the computer, loading up her song, then strikes a pose by the mic; one hand on her hip and the other on the mic stand.

     I've been looking for a driver who is qualified

    So if you think that you're the one step into my ride

Yes Mary! Sirius beams at her. Mary removes the mic from the stand and does a lap of the stage. 

      I'm a fine-tuned supersonic speed machine

     Got a sunroof top and a gangster lean

     So if you feel me, let me know, know, know

     Come on now, what you waiting for, for, for?

She stops in the middle, widening her stance and leaning on her lip with the microphone tilted to the ceiling.

     My engine's ready to explode, explode, explode

     So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go

Then she’s back to strutting around the stage, all eyes on her.

   Get you where you wanna go, if you know what I mean

   Got a ride that's smoother than a limousine

   Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?

    If you can, baby boy, then we can go all night

  'Cause I'm zero to sixty in 3.5

  Baby, you got the keys

   Now shut up and drive, drive, drive (drive)

   Shut up and drive, drive, drive (drive)

Mary mimes throwing an invisible rope across the room, at Sirius. Sirius grabs a hold of it and lets himself be pulled towards her. He almost gets up and goes to join her, but this is her moment not his. Plus, that would mean that he was enjoying himself- which he isn’t. Obviously. It’s just that objectively, Mary is a good performer. It has nothing to do with Sirius having fun or not. When she drops the lasso, he crosses his arms.

   I got class like a '57 Cadillac

   Got overdrive with a whole lot of boom in the back

   You look like you can handle what's under my hood

She cocks her hip out and checks out her own ass, which happens to be a very nice one.

   You keep saying that you will, boy, I wish you would

   So if you feel me, let me know, know, know

   Come on now, what you waiting for, for, for?

She places the mic back in its stand to sing the rest, but she still hits dynamic poses from her new spot.

   My engine's ready to explode, explode, explode

   So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go

   Get you where you wanna go, if you know what I mean

   Got a ride that's smoother than a limousine

   Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?

   If you can, baby boy, then we can go all night

   Cause I'm zero to sixty in 3.5

   Baby, you got the keys

With her hands free, she grips a steering wheel in front of her and twists in all directions.

   Now shut up and drive, drive, drive (drive)

   Shut up and drive, drive, drive (drive)

   'Cause your Maybach ain't got what I got

   Get it, get it, don't stop, it's a sure shot

   And your Ferrari, huh, boy, I'm sorry

   I ain't even worried, so step inside

   And ride, ride, ride, ride

   Ride, ride, ride, ride

   Ride, ride, ride, ride

   Ride, ride, ride, ride

   (Shut up and drive, drive, drive, drive)

   (Shut up and drive, drive, drive, drive)

   Drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive (oh)

For a second, Mary steps back and Sirius is reminded of the Alyssa vs Tatiana lip synch to this song from Drag Race All Stars 2. It almost looks like Mary is about to jump and do the splits, but instead she just takes a deep breath before grabbing the mic again and holding it to her lips to belt out the end of the song. Sirius figures it would be hard to recreate such an iconic double splits moment anyway, seeing as she’s only one person. If only Sirius was flexible; Maybe he’ll practice at home tonight.

   Get you where you wanna go, if you know what I mean

   Got a ride that's smoother than a limousine

   Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?

   If you can, baby boy then we can go all night

   'Cause I'm zero to sixty in 3.5

   Baby, you got the keys

   Now shut up and drive 

She drops the mic. It rolls across the floor. This time, Sirius is the first one jumping up to applaud. “Yes Mary!” Her smile is wide, showing off all her perfect pearly white teeth. She jumps up and gives him a hug, wrapping her arms around his neck. She smells like cherry blossoms. 

“That was so good!” Sirius says, releasing her. 

“Yes, wonderful Mary,” Trelawney agrees. “But, isn’t Rihanna from Barbados, not Jamaica?”

Mary shrugs. “It’s all in the Caribbean isn’t it?”

Trelawney opens her mouth, but then closes it, evidently deciding not to argue about whether or not the artist Mary chose to represent her own ethnicity was valid. 

“I’ll go next,” Lily announces, swishing her braids again. This time, James manages to duck out of the way. 

“Go Lil,” he says, smiling. She rolls her eyes at him. Some things never change.

“To represent my Irish heritage, I’ll be singing a song by Hozier,” Lily informs the crowd, selecting her song. 

“Next time, I’ll learn it for you,” Remus says as they wait for the ads to become skippable.

“Thank you Remus.” Sirius almost glares at Remus, but he’s still jumpy from that moment they shared earlier, so he looks at James instead. James is sitting up straight, hands in his lap like this is first grade. Logically, Sirius knows he isn’t in the position to be judging embarrassing crushes- but it’s hard not to anyway.

    It can’t be said i’m an early bird  

    It’s 10 o’clock before I say a word

Unlike Mary, Lily chooses to stay at the microphone the whole time. Sirius is surprised that her voice works so well with this song, a little bit rough around the edges. She looks at a spot over everyone’s head.

    Baby, I can never tell

  How do you sleep so well?

  You keep tellin' me to live right

  To go to bed before the daylight

  But then you wake up for the sunrise

  You know you don't gotta pretend

  Baby now and then

Sirius glances over beside him at James to find him watching, enraptured. Sirius swears he feels an ominous pair of eyes shooting daggers at them, but when he looks to the other side of the room, he finds Regulus picking at his nails. Rude. Maybe Sirius imagined it; Barty and Evan seem to be focused enough on Lily, their thighs pressed against each other. Evan looks a little distracted, maybe, but not irritated.

  Don't you just wanna wake up, dark as a lake

  Smellin' like a bonfire, lost in a haze?

 If you're drunk on life, babe, I think it's great

Lily’s eyes dart towards James for a split second. Sirius catches it, but he’s not sure if James does. Oh. 

   But while in this world

    I think I'll take my whiskey neat

   My coffee black

This is true, Sirius has seen her chugging the dark sludge in their early morning classes. He’d rather drink his vanilla oat lattes any day, thank you very much. James doesn’t even need caffeine at all, the madman.

    and my bed at 3

   You’re too sweet for me

   You’re too sweet for me

Lily is a really good singer, and it helps that Sirius has always had a soft spot for Hozier, he feels like maybe in another life they’re the same person or something.

   I take my whiskеy neat

   My coffee black and my bed at 3

   You're too sweet for mе

   You're too swee t for me

   I aim low

  I aim true, and the ground's where I go

  I work late where I'm free from the phone

  And the job gets done

  But you worry some, I know

  But who wants to live forever, babe?

  You treat your mouth as if it's Heaven's gate

  The rest of you like you're the TSA

She powers through, even though Sirius always cringes at that line. The TSA? Really? 

    I wish I could go along

   Babe, don't get me wrong

  You know you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain

  Pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape

   If you can sit in a barrel, maybe I'll wait

  Until that day

  I'd rather take my whiskey neat

  My coffee black and my bed at 3

  You're too sweet for me

  You're too sweet for me

  I take my whiskey neat

  My coffee black and my bed at 3

  You're too sweet for me

  You're too sweet for me

Everyone claps for her, even Regulus, as she returns to her seat.

“That was so good Lily!” James says, nodding earnestly. 

Lily smiles tightly. “Thank you James.”

Sirius nudges him. “Who do you think that was about?” He whispers.

James sticks out his bottom lip, thinking. 

“It was about you, you idiot. She’s saying you’re too soft for her.”

Instead of deepening his pout, James lights up. “You think I'm sweet?” He asks Lily, beaming.

Marlene giggles. Lily just shoots Sirius an irritated glance without replying, talking to her friends instead.

“Wait, is that a bad thing?” 

Oh James.

“Regulus, that leaves you then dear,” Trelawney says.

Regulus gets up, his back perfectly straight. He doesn’t look to anyone for reassurance as he moves the microphone over to the keyboard by Remus and Pete. 

“Is it okay if I play and sing?” He asks Trewlaney, innocently. Sirius’ eyebrow twitches. ‘Is it okay?’ show off. 

“Oh wow,” James breathes beside him. What is that supposed to mean?

Regulus sits at the keyboard with his perfect posture, he runs his fingers along the plastic keys. Beside him, Sirius feels James adjust his own posture. Sirius slouches.

When he hits the first notes, James inhales sharply. “It’s not that cool,” Sirius says. “I can play too.” James just nods, his eyes fixed on Regulus deft hands hitting the notes beautifully. Regulus was always better than him at piano, but James doesn’t need to know that. 

 When Regulus opens his mouth, even Sirius is momentarily stunned. He knew his brother was talented, that he has a gorgeous singing voice. ‘Like an angel!’ his mothers friends would always coo. It’s been a while since he’s heard it though, and it’s gotten deeper with age. Fuck. Regulus is by far the best singer of the group- and no one is lacking in the talent department.

   There is a house built out of stone

   Wooden floors, walls and window sills

   Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust

   This is a place where I don't feel alone

   This is a place where I feel at home

The soft notes of the piano and Regulus’ haunting voice make Sirius uncomfortable. Especially with James’ wide eyes taking it all in behind his glasses, which have slipped down his nose. Sirius focuses on that instead. 

  'Cause, I built a home

  For you

  For me

  Until it disappeared

  From me

  From you

  And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust

It’s easier when it’s just the piano, even though Regulus plays each note so gracefully. Outside the keys, the room is eerily silent; like everyone is holding their breaths. Sirius wants to scuff his feet on the ground.

  Out in the garden where we planted the seeds

  There is a tree as old as me

   Branches were sewn by the color of green

  Ground had arose and passed it's knees

  By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top

  I climbed the tree to see the world

  When the gusts came around to blow me down

  I held on as tightly as you held onto me

  I held on as tightly as you held onto me

  And, I built a home

  For you

  For me

  Until it disappeared

  From me

   From you

Sirius watches James blink. Are those tears forming in his best friends eyes? 

  And now, it's time

  To leave and turn

  To dust

For a moment after the last notes, no one makes a sound. Then Trelwaney speaks up, sniffling slightly. “That was beautiful Regulus.”

“Excuse me,” Sirius speaks up. Eight pairs of eyes turn to him. He shrinks back a bit. “Sorry, I’m just confused. Wasn’t the assignment to pick a song related to our backgrounds?”

Regulus eyes become slits. “The singer is French,” he says sharply.

“He’s Quebecois, not French,” Sirius shoots back.

“They speak French there,” Regulus replies primly. Sirius wants to scream.

“Yeah, but-”

“What, did you want him to sing something by Celine Dion then?” Barty jokes.

“She’s Canadian too!” 

Barty sticks out his tongue. Is that a tongue piercing? 

“Well, whatever the case may be, you did a wonderful job,” Trelawney says.

“Yeah,” Peter agrees- the traitor. “You’re so talented.”

James puts a hand on Sirius’ shoulder to stop him from doing something drastic. Regulus smiles sweetly at his brother.  Sirius turns to face James, ready to unload all his vitriol but stops when he sees James' concerned expression. 

“Don’t you think that song was kind of sad?”

“Huh? Of course it’s sad. That’s Regulus’ whole thing.” Sirius shrugs, confused.

“Do you think he was trying to tell me-I mean us, something?”

“No?” Sirius crunches his nose. “He just likes depressing music. Even when we were kids, I would try to get him to practice his music lessons by trying to get him to write songs and he was always coming up with lyrics like ‘the sky is so grey/today is the worst day/’. Even when I tried to come up with something fun he would always change it back to something emo.” Sirius shrugs again, surprised at his own honesty. He tries to avoid thinking about his brother, let alone talking about him. “I wouldn’t worry about it,” he says.  James nods, but Sirius can tell he’s still thinking about it.

“What a lovely session we’ve had today,” Trelawney says gathering her papers. “Everyone should be very proud of themselves.” She smiles at Evan as she says this. “Next week, the theme is ‘pop punk’ so everyone should start thinking about what they’ll want to perform.” To Remus, she says “I have access to a database for sheet music and chords, so i’ll be able to get whatever you need to learn the songs as long as people let you know ahead of time.” Barty grins.  Sirius is only focused on the fact that this is finally over.

James is hovering around, shooting glances towards Barty and Co. Sirius grabs his arm and rushes him towards Remus. “You have your car right Moony?” He asks. “Let’s get out of here, now!” He grabs Pete too, linking their arms together and ignoring James pout as they watch everyone else leave. “I’m thinking we should try to sneak into the Three Broomstick, Remus you’re almost eighteen now…”

Chapter Text

In the middle of English class on Monday afternoon, Sirius has a realization. As soon as the final bell rings, he meets James to share his revelations.

“Moony’s turning eighteen soon!” 

James nods. 

“Soooo?” Sirius prompts.

“Soooo we should get him something really cool?” James tries as they walk towards the band room.

“Well, obviously. But also…We have to throw him a party!”

James raises his eyebrows. “Damn it- I can never do that thing you do, you know-”

Sirius raises one eyebrow.

“Yeah that.”

“It’s really easy, i’ll teach you- wait. Why do you want to raise an eyebrow at me?”

“Padfoot, it’s Remus. He hates parties.”

Sirius sighs. “And he hated musicals too, now look at him. Clearly, things change.” 

James rolls his eyes, fondly. “Well, okay, maybe. I overheard Barty say his folks are gonna be out of town that weekend, so we could-”

“No.” They’re on the stairs now, headed down to the basement where Glee Club is unfortunately held.

“Why not? His place is huge. Well, not as big as ours- but there’s no way mum would let us throw a party unsupervised. I think it’s-”

“James are you crazy? You’re talking about Barty. As in evil, annoying, loud, kind of sort of irritatingly hot, best friends with my brother Barty.” 

“What was that last thing?” 

“Best friends with Regulus?”

“No, the other last thing.”

Sirius waves James off. “Irrelevant. The main thing is, we can’t have it there.”

They stop in front of the open door. 

“Why not? We’re all spending time together now anyway. It doesn’t hurt to ask-”

“If we have it at Barty’s, then Regulus will be there,” Sirius says, biting the inside of his cheek.

“And is that really so horrible?” James’ lower lip puffs out a bit, his brown eyes pleading.

“Oh my god James just drop it! I know you have this great big fantasy of us reconciling but it’s not going to happen.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t understand why you don’t get it. He’s an annoying, stuck up, narcissistic, control freak and I never wanna talk to him again.” Sirius takes a deep breath, his hands are shaking now. “I hate him!”

James' eyes are wide, his face paling. Sirius hears a sharp intake of breath behind him. He turns around to see who it is and- Shit . 

“Reg-” James starts, but Regulus just stalks into the room, holding his chin up high and refusing to acknowledge either of them as he pushes past. Sirius’s stomach twists. 

James looks at Sirius with a mixture of pity, and sadness on his face, his mouth turned all the way down.

“I didn’t…” Sirius trails off. I didn’t what?

Sirius doesn’t say anything else as he slinks in the room and drops into his chair. He keeps his eyes on the ground. There’s no reason to feel guilty; he was just telling the truth- wasn’t he? 

Everyone else is already there, except for Remus who’s the last straggler to arrive. Sirius doesn’t even look up to greet him.

“Hello everyone,” Trelawney says. “Does anyone have anything they’d like to share? Or perform maybe, before I give you all some time to practice?”

From the corner of his eye, he sees a pale hand go up across the room.

“I have a song I’d like to sing.” His brother’s voice is flat, emotionless.

“Oh, yes of course dear. Go ahead.”

Sirius feels James' eyes boring into his skull. If only Sirius wasn't so protective of his hair- a hat would be useful right about now. 

He sinks even further into his chair as the song begins on youtube- he knows those blinker sounds.

   I got my driver's license last week

   Just like we always talked about

Regulus’ sounds incredible, of course. 

    'Cause you were so excited for me

   To finally drive up to your house

   But today I drove through the suburbs

   Cryin' 'cause you weren't around

Maybe he was just really feeling Olivia Rodrigo today? 

   And you're probably with that blonde boy

Boy?

     Who always made me doubt

    he's so much older than me

    he's everything I'm insecure about

He??  Despite his sour stomach, curiosity gets the better of him and Sirius lifts his eyes.

  Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs

  'Cause how could I ever love someone else?

Regulus is standing in front of the microphone, holding it in his grip. His eyes are closed; 

combined with the raw emotion in his vocals he seems younger, softer-vulnerable. 

    And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one

   And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

    Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me

    'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

James is no longer harassing Sirius with his gaze, at least. Instead, his eyes are wide and his bottom lip is wobbling as he watches Regulus on ‘stage’.

   And all my friends are tired

   Of hearing how much I miss you, but

For a second, Sirius swears he sees Regulus’ eyes open and flicker towards his friends. 

    I kinda feel sorry for them

   'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah

  Today I drove through the suburbs

   And pictured I was driving home to you

Sirius  looks back at the ground.

    And I know we weren't perfect

   But I've never felt this way for no one, oh

   And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

   I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me

   Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

   Red lights, stop signs

   I still see your face in the white cars, front yards

   Can't drive past the places we used to go to

   'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

Regulus’ voice falters slightly on the word babe, Sirius cringes.

  Sidewalks we crossed

  I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing

  Over all the noise

  God, I'm so blue, know we're through

  But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

  I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one

  And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

  'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me

  'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

  Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

There’s a ragged breath into the microphone before Regulus steps away and straightens his back. Sirius can almost see the mask slipping back on; his eyebrows going slack and his gaze hardening.

“Lovely, as always Regulus,” Trelawney says gently. There’s a scattered applause- no one seems quite sure what to do with that performance. It sounded beautiful, of course, but it was so, well, intimate. Then again, Regulus has always been a great actor.

“Anyone else?” Trelawney asks. Crickets. “Okay, well then everyone is free to use the rest of the hour to practice for Thursday. Don’t forget to check in with the boys about your song choices if you want their help,” she adds, referring to Remus and Pete. He overhears Lily tell Marlene that they should go talk to them.

James is back to his staring. Sirius picks at a loose thread on his sleeve.

“Sirius-”

“James.” 

James narrows his eyes. Sirius continues ignoring him.

“You should talk to him,” James says.

“Who Moony? I don’t know what song I’m doing yet though. Do you? I was thinking maybe a Panic! At the Disco song but you know how last week-”

“Sirius.”

“Do I have to?” Sirius asks, petulantly. 

“You hurt his feelings. Come on that song was clearly a message-”

“Why would that song be about me? It’s a break up song, a romantic break up song- I know our family is fucked up, but we’re not that inbred.”

James' eyes narrow further. “Don’t play dumb.”

Sirius groans, his stomach in a giant knot. “Fine, I'll try.”

He gets up and heads over to where Regulus is sitting with his friends. His feet are blocks of lead, but he makes it there eventually.

“What do you want?” Barty sneers. Evan glares at him and places his arm on the back of Regulus’ chair protectively.

“I want to talk to my brother. Alone.” He manages to make the words sound authoritative without belying any of his conflicting feelings. Slay. 

Regulus’ eyes are still cold, but he stands up.

Barty’s eyes stay narrowed at Sirius and Evan crosses his arms but neither of them say anything, watching the brothers go.

In the corner of the room Sirius lightly kicks an empty chair. Regulus watches him.

“So?” Regulus asks, his tone flat.

Sirius toes the chair again, he can feel James watching them. 

Regulus huffs. “If you just wanted to waste my time, I’m gonna go.”

Sirius’ instinct is to say please do , but he forces himself to say something else. “Look, about earlier-”

Regulus' eyes somehow grow icier, Sirius can’t meet them. 

“It’s fine. Nothing I didn’t already know,” Regulus says. Sirius’ stomach turns unpleasantly.

“Right, but-” Ugh why is this so hard! “-your song. It um, I just…” He’s not sure how to word this, and he’s not even sure he wants to.

“You think that was about you? You know she’s singing about Josh- her ex right? I know our family tree is a wreath, but really?” 

Sirius surprises himself by laughing. “That’s what I said. But James was all like-”

“James sent you?” Regulus blinks, seemingly forgetting for a second to hide behind his unbothered demeanor. 

“Yeah he wants us to be friends again or whatever. But, um. Well.” Sirius falters. Regulus doesn’t interrupt him, just looks at him as he stalls, the mask returning.

“Well, it’s just that I used to write songs for you. Like, when I wrote you that song ‘forever’. I just thought, maybe. I dunno.”

Regulus' face completely slips, his eyes widening in surprise, his ears turning pink at the tips.

“You remember that?” He says, so quietly it’s almost a whisper.

Sirius’ eyes the chair he was kicking. “Yeah, I remember.”

Regulus seems so small now, vulnerable- his kid brother who cries at commercials and slept with a teddy bear until he was twelve. Sirius finds the words tumbling out of his mouth before he has a chance to think about what he’s saying. “I didn't mean it. What I said to James. I don’t- I don’t hate you .”

“And the other stuff?” Regulus asks, but his voice is fractionally lighter, the corner of his mouth twitching up almost imperceptibly . 

“Well, I do think you’re an annoying stuck up control freak.”

Regulus rolls his eyes. Oddly enough, it feels like a win.

“Whatever Sirius. It really wasn’t about you though.”

“Sure.”

Regulus glances over Sirius’ shoulder, Sirius instinctively turns to see who he’s looking at, but all he sees is James hovering near Remus and Pete. 

“Glad we cleared this up then, I’m going to practice now.” Regulus walks back towards his own friends. Sirius turns too, and James gives him a big thumbs up. Now it’s Sirius' turn to roll his eyes. He takes his phone out of his pocket and opens spotify. He might as well pick a song for Thursday, since he’s here anyway. 

Wednesday after school, the marauders all meet up at the Potter’s’ after school. More specifically, in their shed-recently turned makeshift studio. Remus is gaping at the red electric guitar in his hands.

“Dad said you can have it if you want. He’s got like three, and I think all he knows how to play is Smoke on the Water.”

“James, I can’t-”

“Oh shut up Moony of course you can.” Sirius is a bit jealous of the way Remus is cradling it in his hands, like it’s the most delicate flower that he also wants to, well- deflower. 

“At least for tomorrow!” Peter says. “It’ll work so much better for everyone’s songs.”

Sirius is also a bit jealous how this Glee club is taking up so much of Moony’s free time too, that everyone keeps asking him and Peter to practice and learn new songs for them. Even if that’s why they’re all gathered here today in the first place; that’s  different. This is his Moony. Sirius is allowed to demand his attention and resources.

“Unfortunately, Wormtail is right,” Sirius agrees. “It sounds so much cooler, like you’re a real rockstar or something.”

Remus tears his gaze away, looking directly at Sirius. “You think?” he asks Sirius- as if they’re the only two people in the room. Sirius’ face grows a bit warm. 

“Yeah,” he nods. “I really do.”

Sirius, Remus and Peter practice his song for a bit, then James kicks Sirius out when it’s his turn, citing that his song is a ‘surprise.’ Sirius can’t help but be a little bit afraid. 

On Thursday, when James and Sirius walk into Glee club, James waves at Regulus and his friends. Barty waves back, mockingly. Regulus doesn’t react at all. There’s something comfortable about it all, which Sirius hates. He also hates that this morning, he almost grabbed his eyeliner and looked through his closet  before remembering himself. It was like he was possessed or something- Sirius, wanting to put effort into singing for Glee club? Now, he looks down at his black cotton shirt that has a suspicious green stain near the collar; somehow this doesn’t feel much better.

Trelawney is wearing a giant oversized knit sweater today, decked in patches of various witchy things- planets, tarot cards, crystals, and mushrooms. Sirius kind of loves it.

“Hello everyone! I hope we've all had a lovely week. Jupiter is opposite Saturn today, and it’s nearly a full moon, so I hope we’re all doing our best to be gentle with one another. It's a good time to let go of old prejudices and seek forgiveness within ourselves and towards others.” Trewlaney’s big eyes seem to be pointed right at him as she speaks. 

“Alright, I’m assuming we’ve all gotten our songs. This week’s theme is ‘Pop Punk’ and I’m looking forward to seeing what you’ve all come up with. Anyone want to go first?”

When James doesn’t immediately jump up, Sirius can’t decide if he should be relieved or nervous.

“We’ll go first,” Barty says standing up. He’s wearing all black; ripped jeans and a tight sleeveless shirt that shows off his surprisingly muscled arms. Regulus and Evan too, are wearing all black- but that’s Regulus’ standard outfit anyway.

Sirius shoots Remus a smile as he gets ready to play. The three boys stand beside each other, Barty standing at the mic first. Fuck, they look kind of cool. 

       I wanna take you home

    A night out on the town

   Say that you're pretty so you stand up stand up

   Before I drag you down

The way Barty sings it is almost seductive, and really good.
He steps to the side swiftly and Evan sings the next lines, his confidence clearly grown since last week. Barty watches him through his annoyingly thick eyelashes.

     Crawling up your skin

    Potions pills and medicines

   To drain you

    And bleed your magic out

The three of them harmonize oooh oohh ooh . Sirius has to admit, their voices sound super well together. Especially with Remus and Pete in the background, it almost feels like a real performance, not like their in a dingy high school basement that smells vaguely like mold.

Regulus steps up and grabs the microphone for his lines.

    Lonely little life

  And nobody believes you now

  You're bleeding magic out

Sirius’ heart hurts a little bit, but he’s not sure why.

  Don't want to scare you off

  Don't want to know your name

  You'll never know a single thing about me

  Until it's far too late

Barty sings those lines, holding the microphone and leaning into it. Evan frowns a bit. Sirius is beginning to think in an alternate universe where a) Barty wasn’t friends with Regulus and b) Sirius wasn’t hopelessly pining for his own best friend, that he may have developed a bit of a crush on him because… damn.

Barty and Evan switch again, Barty’s fingers lingering on Evan’s waist for a fraction of a second during the shuffle.

   Crawling up your skin

  Potion, pleasing medicines

  To circumvent your brain

The way Evan sings ‘circumvent your brain’ scratches an itch in Sirius’ brain.

They harmonize again and Regulus repeats his lines. Sirius has never heard his brother sing anything like this before- he would’ve assumed that Regulus was mostly into singing ballads or slow  sad french songs, but it works.

Lonely little life

And nobody believes you now

You're bleeding magic out

Lonely little life

And nobody believes you now

You're bleeding magic out

And nobody believes you now

You're bleeding magi c

Regulus finishes the song, his hair falling into his face. Everyone claps, even Sirius, begrudgingly. Barty smiles, and it’s a different smile than Sirius has seen before. It’s not mean, or sarcastic- but a real genuine pleased smile. He’s standing in the middle of his friends and throws his arms around their shoulders, Evan’s mouth turns up too, and he looks up at Barty. Regulus doesn’t show anything on his face, but he doesn’t flinch away from the touch. 

“Wonderful,” Trelawney says.

“Sorry, but was that really ‘pop punk?’” Lily asks. 

Barty shrugs. “Maybe not, but it’s not like we’re getting graded on these assignments are we?”

It truly is an unfortunate set of circumstances that this is not the alternate universe he was pondering about before, because that’s exactly what Sirius was just thinking. Alas, his eyes find their way to Moony, whose face is slightly flushed, and the butterflies rattle around in Sirius’ stomach.

“Dallon Weekes was in Panic at the Disco,” Evan says, as if that explains anything. 

Trelawney sighs. “Who wants to go next?”

James still does not put up his hand, although Sirius can sense his best friend's buzzing adrenaline radiating off him in the way his knees are bouncing.

“Should I be worried?” Sirius asks him.

Marlene and Lily end up taking their turn instead.

Lily nods at Remus to start. Sirius is so glad Remus accepted the guitar, because he really is in his element. Sirius’ pants get a bit tight watching Remus nimble fingers strum, his hair falling into his face. He’s just so fucking good, and it sounds incredible.

Lily takes the mic first, Marlene bopping beside her- not doing any particular dance moves but just vibing to the music.

   All that I want

   Is to wake up fine

   Tell me that I'm alright

  That I ain't gonna die

   All that I want

  Is a hole in the ground

  You can tell me when it's alright

  For me to come out

Sirius does love Hayley Williams. 

The girls  share the mic to sing the chorus, Marlene's alto voice blending nicely with Lily’s higher one.

    gonna make you wonder why you even try

  (Hard times) gonna take you down and laugh when you cry

  (These lives) and I still don't know how I even survive

  Hard times

  Hard times

Marlene says the last line, swinging the microphone stand while she does.

   And I gotta get to rock bottom

After the small musical interlude, in which Sirius can’t tear his eyes away from Moony, Marlene does the next verse, singing while her eyes dart across the audience. She’s having a lot of fun, and it’s infectious. Sirius doesn’t bother trying to stop his foot from tapping out the beat.

   Walking around

   With my little rain cloud

   Hanging over my head

   And it ain't coming down

   Where do I go?

   Gimme some sort of sign

   You hit me with lightning

   Maybe I'll come alive

They do the chorus together again, both leaning into the singular microphone.

   gonna make you wonder why you even try

   (Hard times) gonna take you down and laugh when you cry

   (These lives) and I still don't know how I even survive

   Hard times

   Hard times

   And I gotta hit rock bottom

Lily:

   Tell my friends I'm coming down

   We'll kick it when I hit the ground

Marlene:

   Tell my friends I'm coming down

   We'll kick it when I hit the ground

Both of them together sing the final parts, including the chorus. They abandon the microphone to sing freely, jumping around the stage and singing to the audience. Lily seems to sing directly to James, Marlene sings to Regulus. James smiles widely, Regulus does not.

   When I hit the ground

   When I hit the ground

   When I hit the ground

   When I hit the ground

   gonna make you wonder why you even try

   (Hard times) gonna take you down and laugh when you cry

   (These lives) and I still don't know how I even survive

   Hard times, hard times

   Hard times, hard times

   gonna make you wonder why you even try

   Hard times gonna take you down and laugh when you cry

   (These lives) and I still don't know how I even survive

   Hard times, hard times

  Hard times

  And I gotta get to rock botto m

Again everyone claps. 

“Great job Lily! And you too Marlene,” James tells them.

Mary congratulates her friends as well. 

“Very nice, girls!” Trelawney says. Lily’s mouth turns up. 

James looks between Mary and Sirius, the three people left to perform. 

“Don’t look at me,” Mary says. “I’m going last.”

James raises his eyebrows at Sirius in question. Maybe Sirius should go before. But then James squares his shoulders, seemingly have come to his decision. “I’ll go.”

Sirius exchanges a glance with Moony, like “is this going to be crazy?”

Remus shrugs and mimes sealing his lips. Hater.

James goes to the microphone, standing tall- which he is, just not as tall as Moony, but then again hardly anyone is.

He looks at the ‘band’ and takes a deep breath, adjusting his glasses.

Remus is grinning as he plays, Peter looks like Sirius feels, which is to say mildly concerned and already partially embarrassed.

   Gonna make a heart-throb out of me

   Just a bit of minor surgery

  These desperate times call for desperate measures

Oh God. Sirius nearly breaks his neck trying to gauge Lily’s reaction. Doesn’t have a crush on anyone, my ass! Lily is sitting stock still as James sings, Mary and Marlene are giggling, as if they too can not believe this.

   I'll give you something to cry about

   Show some skin-

James pulls down the neck of his shirt, revealing his collarbones. Lily blushes. Across the room, so does Regulus.

   -and would be, catch it

   How could you let this get to desperate measures now?

   For a first effort this,

    Feels kinda last ditch 

   I guess this just

  Got kinda drastic

   Trust us you just fell off the bus, baby

James is singing into the microphone, and oddly enough his gaze seems to be turned towards the other side of the room, away from Lily and towards Sirius’ brother. James does turn back though, to look at Sirius, his eyes twinkling. Sirius groans. What a grand  ‘first effort’.

   I can't let this, I can't let this, I can't let this go

   I can't let this, I can't let this go

   (Desperate measures) I can't let this, I can't let this go

James is putting his heart into it, singing with gusto. It’s obvious that he really means it too. 

   When I got you right where I want you

   I been pushing for this for so long

   Kiss me, just once, for luck

   These are desperate measures now

   I can't let this, I can't let this go

Barty is burying his face into Evan’s shoulder, probably hiding his laughter. Not that James is bad, he’s very very good actually. But it must be painfully obvious even to Regulus’ friends that this isn’t going to work. Although, Lily’s pink face does look perhaps a bit secretly pleased? 

   Have a piece of American dream

   Open up, and swallow, on your knees

   And say Thank you

    I'd like some desperate measures, please

During that section, James looks up at the ceiling and puts his hands together in prayer, bending his knees towards the ground and lowering himself halfway to a squat. It’s almost obscene. Regulus’ eyes are wide and panicked. Sirius forgot to add ‘prude’ to the list he told James.

   For a first effort this,

   Feels kinda last ditch

   I guess this just

   Got kinda drastic

   Trust us, you just fell off the bus, suckers

   Yeah, well, payback is a mother fucker

Trelawney gasps loudly at the way James spits out the swear. James flushes, looks at her apologetically.

    I can't let this, I can't let this go

   When I got you right where I want you

   I been pushing for this for so long

   Kiss me, just once, for luck

    These are desperate measures now

   Desperate measure now

James sings the rest at no one in particular, though he does occasionally swivel to look at Sirius with an almost guilty look in his eyes. 

    I can't let this, I can't let this go

   When I got you right where I want you

   I been pushing for this for so long

     Kiss me, just once, for luck

    These are desperate measures now

   (Desperate measure now)

   I can't let this, I can't let this go

He finishes the song and there’s a beat of silence. Barty, Marlene, and Mary clap. Sirius, Lily, and evidently his brother are shocked into silence. 

James’ bravado seems to wear off slightly  as he steps back to his seat.

“For what it’s worth James, that would work on me!” Mary titters.

“That was, um really good James!’ Lily says, unable to meet his eyes. Huh? That’s not the reaction Sirius was expecting from her.

“Thanks Lil!” James smiles at her.

Sirius slow blinks at his best friend, who just shrugs and adjusts his glasses again. Trelawney speaks again, and out of the corner of his eye Sirius catches James looking over towards Regulus and Co. Regulus does not look pleased, his cheeks still rosy.

“Mary? Sirius? Which one of you would like to step up?” 

Sirius has no choice but to go, since Mary won’t budge on going last. It feels a bit unfair though, going after James.

His heart is beating a bit quickly as he takes his place. It’ll be his first time doing a song with Remus and Pete in public. Not that he’s particularly trying to impress anyone here, but still. Remus gives him a private encouraging smile, then bites his lip as he gets his fingers into place. It does not slow Sirius’ heart one bit. He takes a deep breath, waiting for his cue.

  If home is where the heart is

  Then we're all just fucked

There wasn’t a particular reason he picked this song. He was just looking through his spotify playlist and this one felt right. As he sings the first lines though, he finds himself glancing at his brother. 

  I can't remember

  I can't remember

  And I want it so bad

  I'd shoot the sunshine into my veins

  I can't remember the good old days

It’s actually really nice, doing this with his friends. He starts to lose himself in the song, the world fading away outside the words escaping his throat and his best friends playing their hearts out behind him- the three of them in their own private bubble.

   And it's kind of funny

   The way we're wearing anchors on our shirts

   When being anchored aboard just feels like a curse

   My mind is a safe

   And if I keep it then we all get rich

   My body is an orphanage

   We take everyone in

  Doing lines of dust and sweat

   Off last night's stage

   Just to feel like yo u

It’s almost embarrassing how right it feels to be here. 

    The milligrams in my head

   Burning tobacco in the wind

   Chasing the direction

   Chasing the direction

   Chasing the direction you went

   You're a bottled star

   The planets align

   Just like Mars

   You shine in the sky

   You shine in the sky

   Are all the good times getting gone?

   They come and go and come and go and come and go

     I've got a lot of friends who are stars

   But some are just black holes

He flicks again to Regulus, to find him looking at him too, his gaze searching, for some reason.

   My mind is a safe

   And if I keep it then we all get rich

   My body is an orphanage

   We take everyone in

   Doing lines of dust and sweat

   Off last night's stage

   Just to feel like you

Sirius can’t help himself again, despite being in front of Remus, to look back at him during the guitar solo. He feels his heart swell, but this time with pride. Sirius has to convince him to keep the guitar.

   And it's kind of funny

   The way we're wearing anchors on our shirts

  When being anchored aboard just feels like a curse

   My mind is a safe

   And if I keep it then we all get rich

    My body is an orphanage

   We take everyone in

    Doing lines of dust and sweat

   Off last night's stage

     Just to feel like you

    If home is where the heart is

   Then we're all just fucked

When the song ends, Sirius has a ridiculous urge to rush back and jump into Moony’s arms. He doesn’t though, he just dips his head in a small bow and rushes back to his seat. When he looks over, Moony gives him another small private grin. Maybe this Glee club thing isn’t so terribly deeply horrible.

Finally, it’s Mary’s turn. She gracefully walks over to her spot, her eyes sparking with something like mischief. Regulus goes to the keyboard for the first time today. He sits down and stretches his fingers.

Peter and Moony have mysterious looks on their faces too. 

“What’s going-” Sirius is interrupted by Regulus’ fingers hitting that starting G. There’s a collective groan from the room, but it’s not really an angry one. Sirius catches his brother’s mouth ever so slightly lifting as he plays the next notes until Mary’s voice cuts in as well.

   When I was a young boy

  My father took me into the city

   To see a marching band

Sirius rolls his eyes at Moony, fondly. Of course Mary would pick this song. 

   He said, "Son, when you grow up

   Would you be the savior of the broken

  The beaten and the damned?"

  He said, "Will you defeat them?

  Your demons, and all the non-believers

  The plans that they have made?"

  "Because one day, I'll leave you a phantom

  To lead you in the summer

  To join the black parade"

Sirius knows that Remus loves this song too, but even if he didn’t Remus looks like he’s having so much fun it’s contagious. 

  When I was a young boy

  My father took me into the city

  To see a marching band

    He said, "Son, when you grow up

   Would you be the savior of the broken

   The beaten and the damned?"

Peter too, looks like he’s having the time of his life over there on the drums, his head bobbing so quickly.

When it’s time to sing the next verse, Barty stands up before Mary gets a chance and belts the lyrics from where he’s standing. Mary doesn’t even seem phased, as though she expected something like this.

  Sometimes I get the feelin'

  She's watchin' over me

  And other times I feel like I should go

Then Marlene is jumping up to sing:

  And through it all, the rise and fall

  The bodies in the streets

  And when you're gone, we want you all to know

The two of them join together, singing at each other.

  We'll carry on, we'll carry on

  And though you're dead and gone, believe me

  Your memory will carry on

   We'll carry on

  And in my heart, I can't contain it

   The anthem won't explain it

Mary takes the lead again for a few bars.

   A world that sends you reelin'

   From decimated dreams

   Your misery and hate will kill us all

She looks over at James and (metaphorically) hands him the mic.

  So paint it black and take it back

  Let's shout it loud and clear

  Defiant to the end, we hear the call

The four of them sing all together. 

    To carry on, we'll carry on

   And though you're dead and gone, believe me

   Your memory will carry on

   We'll carry on

    And though you're broken and defeated

   Your weary widow marches

It seems like this is no longer Mary’s song, but rather the Glee Club as a whole- everyone chiming in at some point. 

Mary:

   On and on, we carry through the fears

   Oh, ah, ha

Lily: 

   Disappointed faces of your peers

   Oh, ah, ha

Barty:

   Take a look at me, 'cause I could not care at all

Evan:

   Do or die, you'll never make me

   Because the world will never take my heart

   Go and try, you'll never break me

  We want it all, we wanna play this part

Sirius finds himself standing up too:

    I won't explain or say I'm sorry

   I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scars

   Give a cheer for all the broken

   Listen here, because it's who we are

Mary: 

   Just a man, I'm not a hero

   Just a boy, who had to sing this song

  Just a man, I'm not a hero

   I don't care

After that, they all give up on having any semblance of order. Everyone just sings together, a blend of voices, not all perfectly in tune but all full of passion. 

  We'll carry on, we'll carry on

    And though you're dead and gone, believe me

   Your memory will carry on

   You'll carry on

    And though you're broken and defeated

   Your weary widow marches, oh

   Do or die, you'll never make me

   Because the world will never take my heart

   Go and try, you'll never break me

    We want it all, we wanna play this part (we'll carry on)

   Do or die, you'll never make me (we'll carry on)

    Because the world will never take my heart (we'll carry on)

   Go and try, you'll never break me (we'll carry on)

   We want it all, we wanna play this part (we'll carry on!)

At the end, they’re all panting a bit, their energy expunged. Lily even beams at James, before turning away quickly. Regulus too, seems to be in good spirits. Sirius catches Moony’s eye once more. Maybe-

“That was wonderful! We should put that on our list for regionals.” Sirius' smile slips. Regionals? He almost forgot for a second what this really was. “For next week it’s an easy assignment, you just have to pick a song by a female artist. Any genre, any time period.” Easy enough, but Sirius is once again bothered that he has to do it at all.