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It was normal for you and Charlie to spend time like this. Side by side in a quiet home, books propped in hand, glasses hung low on your faces. Sometimes it was pleasant to have someone to spend those quiet moments with and not feel the need to fill the silence with unnecessary conversation. You could just coexist, in one spot, and one moment, enjoying the presence of another while imagining another world in itself. You lived for nights like this and loved the man beside you. Normally nothing could keep you from shattering such a perfect moment but then you see it.
At first you think you’re imagining it but as your eyes flick up from the page of your book into the window outside you realize it’s snowing. Probably has been all afternoon and you both had been too busy reading to notice. It’s almost impossible to sit still as the excitement rushes through you. You loved snow. Especially the first real snow of the season. There was something magical about it and it reminded you of all the good in the world. Thing was, the boy beside you didn’t quite feel the same. Snow was not something that brought him happiness, instead it reminded him of moments lost in time, full of grief and heart ache.
You were torn and doing everything you could not to burst with excitement because it was snowing and had been long enough to cover the ground in pillows of fluffy white snow. They flakes were thick and falling heavy. The wind blowing them around and the lights from peoples homes illuminating them on the ground. It was as if the lawn was covered in sparkles and its spot light was the moon. Nothing would make you happier than going outside and breathing in that fresh snow air. The only thing stopping you was finding the right way to get the boy beside you to agree.
“Charles?” you hummed out, eyes finally moving from the window pane in front of you to look at the boy beside you. Your hand fell softly on his leg and his stomach instantly erupted in butterflies from your touch.
“Yes honey” he asked sweetly, eyes struggling to pull from the page he was on in his book.
“If I ask you something can you promise not to say no?” now he was confused, eyebrows furrowing as he glanced up at you.
“I could never say no to you” he told you earnestly and the sentence almost made you feel somewhat guilty for what you were about to say to him.
“Would you go outside with me?” you quickly asked before you lost the nerve and Charlie wore his confused look until his eyes flicked to the window and then back to you. It was snow. You loved snow. He hated snow.
It was snowing the last time he had ever seen his friend, wearing that devastated face as he got in the car with his Dad. It was snowing when he was woken up by that dreaded phone call. It was snowing when he had to tell all of his friends and see their heartbroken faces. It was snowing when they chased Todd outside. That very snow clung to his eyelashes and melted beside his tears. He had to scoop a handful of that snow to wipe away Todd’s puke. It was snow that tripped up Todd as he cried and yelled out for their friend. Snow was nothing other than frozen tears falling from the sky in mourning of Neil. He hated snow, but he loved you.
“I- baby” he didn’t want to say no. How could he? Not after what he just said.
“I know, I know you hate it. I know what snow means to you, but Charlie it’s beautiful out there. Can’t you see it?” you begged and Charlie nervously looked to the window. It was beautiful, and maybe that was why it hurt so much. That something so beautiful can become ugly after moments in time. Snow once did remind him of Winters at Welton, throwing snowballs at each other’s heads, sneaking out at midnight to the old Indian Cave. Snow used to be youthful and now it was dreadful.
“Ten minutes” he finally said, eyes softening towards you. Probably the only person he’d be willing to face the snow with.
“Thirty” you bargained and he couldn’t help the chuckle that fell from his lips.
“Twenty and we can make hot chocolate” now you were bouncing in your seat, no longer holding back the excitement over the first snow of the year.
“Deal” you cheered before planting a wet kiss on his cheek and rushing to grab your coats, gloves, hats, and scarves. Charlie only chuckled as he finally abandoned his book and stood to make the promised hot chocolate.
It isn’t long until you’re both stood on the porch of your home. The snow flurrying around you and to the ground. Charlie thinks you’re absolutely adorable in your knitted hat and matching scarf. Your hot chocolate is half drank but you’re ready to abandon it for the snow. He doesn’t want to hold you back since you’re clearly jittery, eyes wide as you stare at the snow that you can’t decide what to do with first. A snow angel, maybe a snowball to throw at a Charlie, or best of all a snow man even though there clearly isn’t enough for it.
“Do you want to dance?” it’s you who is shocked now, eyes wide as you look at Charlie who suggested it. Dancing didn’t entirely have anything to do with snow, he could dance. He has always loved dancing with you, what difference did it make if it was in this chilly weather?
“I’d love too” you told him quickly and he smiled as he pulled you down the porch with him and into the lawn. The snow crunched beneath your feet and you couldn’t help but giggle as he swung you into his arms and started to sway.
“There isn’t any music” you told him softly, eyes fluttering to his pink cheeks, airbrushed by the cold air itself.
“We don’t need it” he told you and finally you were grinning as you held him close and waltzed through the fluffy white yard. You let the moment sink in, soft cheek pressed to Charlie’s warm chest. The snow fluttered to the ground around you and you couldn’t keep the question in any longer.
“Do you think there will ever be a time the snow reminds you of this moment and not the bad ones?” you felt him stiffen against you, shocked and bit confused by your question.
“I don’t think so, I think there will be a time that reminds me of both though. That gives me hope” you smile against his chest as your heart aches for him. You wish he hadn’t faced the things in life that he did. Charlie should’ve been too pure to be touched by the harsh world.
“Can you tell me a happy memory about snow?” you asked softly into the night air and you felt Charlie’s cheek press against the top of your head.
“When we were thirteen the first snow came to Welton. Neil loved snow. It was the only day he couldn’t focus in class because he could see the snow out of the window. He somehow convinced me to ditch Mr. McAllister's Latin class to go outside” you chuckled softly against him, knowing it didn’t take much convincing at all the get Charlie to skip Latin.
“Ditching class at Welton, risky” you commented and Charlie just grinned, trying to picture that perfect white snow behind his thirteen year old eyes.
“It was, which is why it was no surprise we were caught within twenty minutes, having been spotted from the classroom windows throwing snowballs at one another” and now you were downright laughing and Charlie chuckled along with you, the memory burning a hole through the bad ones.
“That wasn’t very clever, obviously class was still going on” you teased and he just rolled his eyes as he tipped your face up to look at him again.
“It didn’t matter to us, until Nolan came outside to break us up. Neil had ducked and my snowball launched straight into Nolan’s face. I was put on pots and pans for three weeks but the image of that snow bursting across his face made it all worth it” Charlie told you before pressing a small kiss to the tip of your nose that had now become red from the chilly air.
“Only you” you muttered and even though it was vague Charlie knew what it meant. It was your way of saying he was the only one for you. So he kissed you as the snow fell and stuck to your clothes. You hummed in delight over the chocolate taste of his lips and kissing him in the snow which was now so much better than the rain. Whoever thought kissing in the rain was more romantic than a quiet snowy night was wrong.
“Do you have your gloves?” Charlie softly asked after he pulled away, eyes searching your own and filled with adoration.
“Yeah, why?” you furrowed your brows and he cracked a smile, gloved hand pressing out the crease between your brows.
“You won’t know if we can build a snowman unless you try” and you were grinning ear to ear, hugging him tight before dropping to the ground in the soft snow. Charlie only laughed as you put on your gloves and started to scoop in the small layer of snow dusting the yard.
“I’ll find him some arms and eyes” he told you, and you nodded as you focused on combining the snow together. By the time Charlie had returned with sticks and a few rocks you had made a base of the snowman baseball size and the head as teeny as a golf ball. He snorted lightly as he dropped beside you with his sticks that were much too big for your snowman.
“He’s terrible, I know” you pouted lightly, cursing mother nature for not gifting enough snow to make the snowman of your dreams.
“No, he’s perfect. He’s just missing a few things” Charlie told you, reaching for his branches where he snapped off two twigs and stuck them into the sides. Then he grabbed the smallest two rocks he had found and shoved them in the head that was still just a touch to small for them.
“His eyes are huge” you giggled and Charlie smiled at you as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders.
“He just has a lot of things he wants to see” Charlie told you and you grinned at him as you both took in the sight of your foot tall snowman.
“He’ll grow into them” you told him and he smiled, lips grazing across your chilled forehead.
“Yeah, he’s still young” he agreed and you knew in a way that meant Charlie would be willing to do this again, when more snow finally fell to the earth and surrounded you both.
“I’m pretty sure it’s been twenty minutes” you told him and he shrugged, eyes looking up to the sky that continued to drop snowflakes to the ground.
“It’s okay, I’m okay right here” he told you and you quickly hugged him close, lips capturing his own. They were almost a touch too cold, a chance of getting stuck together, but you didn’t mind. This was progress and if Charlie could make snow happy again you would never be in a position to say no.
“I love you” you told him and he smiled as he brushed some snowflakes away from your eyelashes.
“More than snow?” he questioned and you laughed, the sound filling the cold night air around you.
“A hundred times more than snow”