Chapter Text
Cheap stale beer and cigarette smoke. The lumpy couch he slept on every night. Empty cabinets that taunted his rumbling stomach.
Only being acknowledged when he could possibly be useful in a scam. Hearing stumbling footsteps towards the sole bedroom and irate grumbles about cheating dealers.
Trying to ignore the tears falling down his face.
Glenn woke up slowly feeling tears well up in his eye. The road was extremely bumpy underneath him. Had he fallen asleep in the car? The last thing he remembered was a lot of shouting and some purple light, but that could have been the weed’s doing. Definitely a 20/20 blunt.
His mouth was dry and stomach rolled with nausea almost like he was hungover. That was new. Had Nick rolled something else into it by mistake? Not the kids fault, but definitely something to teach him to be careful of in the future.
Trying to stretch, Glenn became alarmed when his hands and feet were restrained. Jerking back, he opened his eyes to see himself sitting on a wooden bench in what appeared to a wooden carriage, like they’d have at some renascence fair nerd fest. His hands and feet were indeed bound with thick ropes. Two men sat on the bench across from him, looking amused as he took in his situation.
“Finally awake?” The one on the right observed.
Glenn’s response was a very elegant, “eh?” Still disoriented and hoping the tears in his eyes weren’t visible.
The one who spoke turned to his companion, “looks like this one is a little slow on the update. Might drop the price if they find out.”
“Hey fuck you man,” Glenn snapped his anger washing away his lethargy, “what the fuck is going on? Where am I? Why am I tied up? I’m so not into this rope shit, you know.”
The man on the left spoke for the first time, “you have the honor of being apart of the Lance’s personal stock. We’re taking you to one of his customers right now.” There was a pause as Glenn stared at him in incomprehension. “Slavery,” he grunted after a few moments of this, “you’re been sold into slavery.”
What. The. Fuck. Glenn kept staring at him, waiting for the punchline for what had to be the crappiest joke ever. Sure, he failed history twice back in high school, but he was still pretty sure that slavery had been made illegal a long time ago.
The man on the left looked him over before turning to the right man, “I think you’re right. He is an idiot.”
Rude. Whatever, the more these idiots underestimated him the easier it would be to escape and-
Oh crap, Nick.
Looking around, Glenn wasn’t sure if he was worried or relived when it finally processed that Nick wasn’t here. On one had, at least Nick wasn’t with these losers. On the other, he could be somewhere much much worse. Time to get some information.
“Some people say that,” Glenn acknowledged, “but I’d like to say I’m smarter than I look.” The men snorted in disbelief, “Now tell me,” he said trying to keep his posture as casual as he could while tied up, “is there really a market for stuff like this? Enough for it to be worth it to keep nine people locked up?”
Right smirked again, “you don’t need to worry about our bottom line. What we made from you alone is more than enough to be worth it. Sure, the brats sold for a bit less, but we still make a nice profit off of them.”
Shit. There went his hope that Nick had somehow escaped this mess. Keep it cool, Glenn. Get information, then you can bust out of here.
“I can imagine man,” Glenn agreed forcing himself to keep his voice relaxed, “kids can be wiry little fuckers. I do hope that you’re charging them for travel though. I mean sneaking that many people around the cops cannot be easy.”
Left waved a hand, “why would they care? It’s a lovely source of work for their towns isn’t it? Don’t you worry though, your journey will be over soon enough.”
Did that mean he wasn’t too far away from there base? That could have been the case if it wasn’t for the small problem of Glenn having no clue how long he was fucking unconscious for.
“I’m just saying you could increase your profits by a huge margin if you took it into account,” he argued pretending they were talking about anything beside people being sold, “but whatever don’t take my advice. It’s fine I guess, you don’t have to make more cash. Besides, after the twentieth ‘are we there yet’ from the kids I’m sure you’d want some extra compensation.”
“Not our problem,” Right dismissed, “besides, that particular customer is well versed in dealing with brats like that I assure you. Those kids will shape up soon enough.”
“Really?” It was hard to hide his eagerness, “and who’s that?”
“Oh you’ve probably hear of him.” Right answered, “he runs the local-“
Left slammed a hand over Right’s mouth, and glared at Glenn. He shrugged unapologetically as much he was able to with his hands bound and leaned back as if to get more sleep.
So it sounds like the Nick was with all the other kids in the van. That was sorta good news, power in number and all that. Him being with someone who dealt with kids a lot could be good or bad. Best case scenario it was an orphan Annie situation and Nick might have a new loathing for cleaning by the end of this. Worst case… well, Glenn was trying his hardest not to think of that. Nick was tough. He would be okay. He had to be.
For right now Glenn had to try and think ahead a bit. Cuz his current plan was rather basic.
Step one: free himself
Step two: find Nick and or the other kids and or the other dads (the latter optional at this moment)
Step three: go the fuck home.
As they traveled Glenn tried to think of a bit more elaborate plan, but it was hard when he was going on no information. Hell, he didn’t even know if they were still in America. Sure, the assholes spoke English pretty well, but that didn’t mean anything. He wouldn’t get any intel sitting here though. Time to move.
“I’ve gotta piss,” Glenn proclaimed opening his eyes.
Right snorted, “how dumb do you think we are? That’s the oldest trick in the book. You’ll just have to wait till we stop for the night.”
Glenn shrugged, “suit yourself.”
Turning as if to give himself some semblance of privacy, he began to tap his fingers against the wood to mimic the sound of liquid falling on it. He must be better than he thought, because it sounded even more realistic than he expected.
“Are you seriously?” One of the men screeched in disgust, “stop, stop, okay we’re stopping.”
A fist bang against the side of the wall and he could hear some words exchanged. Without warning the carriage stopped and Glenn was flung onto the floor. The rope around his ankles was cut, but before he could make a break for it, a hand grabbed his shoulder.
“Out,” one of the man demanded (Glenn had lost track of who was who the second they started moving around) “you can pee by that bush.”
The hand on his shoulder stayed as they walked to the aforementioned bush by the side of a barren dirt road. Looking back, for the first time Glenn saw that indeed he had been in a cart being pulled by a pair of horses. Strange. Perhaps he was kidnapped by evil Amish? Was that a thing?
“Go on then,” the man holding his shoulder demanded, “I’m waiting.”
Glenn gave him a look, “do you really wanna hold my hand and look while I’ve got my dong out?”
He wiggled his eyebrows and was rewarded when the man flushed, released him, and spun so he was facing the road, “just make it qu-“
The demand was cut off by a sharp yelp as Glenn kick him straight between the legs. As the man fell, Glenn bolted, running for the tree line. Just when he began to pass the first row, someone slammed into him from behind, sending him crashing onto the ground.
As he landed hard something in his pocket jammed into his side. There wasn’t enough time to process that thought as he was turned around and a foot was slammed into the same spot resulting in a crack he hoped wasn’t from his ribs. Still wheezing from that, Glenn was completely defenseless when a fist struck him in the face.
A hand then went to his hair pulling his head up. One of his captors glowered at him, face red with anger.
“Do not,” he growled, “try that again.”
Oh, Glenn was100% going to try that again.
To his face though Glenn gave a sheepish smile, “can’t blame a guy for trying.”
“You’ll find,” another kick to the ribs, “I can.”
The rope was retied around his ankles giving him the indignity of being dragged back to the cart. The other guy was still on the ground in pain, which made Glenn smirk. Until he recovered enough to also give Glenn a blow to the head. Rude.
He was unceremoniously tossed back into the cart. They didn’t even have the decency to put him on the bench resulting in him having to crawl his way there. As he did he was reminded of his jacket pocket when it hit against his leg again.
It made him pause, taking the time to think of what it meant. Did they… did these dumbasses not take what he had in his pocket? That felt like kidnapping 101! ‘Don’t let them have shit that they could use to escape you.’ And they called Glenn dumb!
A quick pat on the pocket revealed the weight and shape of his phone. Yep, they were morons. Officially.
One of said morons, moron one Glenn dubbed him, kicked his leg, “hey, what are you thinking about down there?”
“How nice your mom looked like this,” Glenn shot back without missing a beat.
That earned him another foot to the side. While curling up to protect himself, Glen felt around in his jacket’s pockets. There was the shape of his phone, useful for when he got out of here, wallet, keys and…. yes! His pocket knife was right where he left it. Which was good for him, but certainly didn’t speak to the intelligence of the men who had him. Honestly, Glenn was a bit insulted.
Still didn’t mean he couldn’t be careful. This was his one chance and Glenn knew he couldn’t afford to waste it. As annoying as it was, he would have to wait awhile before his next escape attempt. They were too on guard at the moment.
Leaning back once he managed to pull himself onto the bench, Glenn began to sing,
On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim, I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway, I heard the mission bell
And I was thinkin' to myself, "This could be heaven or this could be hell"
At first the moron one and two looked wary. From the way moron two was glaring at him, Glenn had the feeling he was the one who had gotten kicked in the nards. Worth it.
Without any clock, it was hard to tell him much time had passed. Enough for him to go through a usual set, but his audience was a bit more subdued than normal, so it still could have been anywhere between two to four house. Long enough that the sunlight visible underneath the door grew faint that was for sure. Darkness would be better for an escape anyways.
“So what are your names?” Glenn asked, sitting back on the bench.
“Why do you want to know?” Moron two asked.
He shrugged, “what can I say? I’m bored. Plus, gotta rest my voice a bit.”
Moron one looked a bit bummed out at that last statement, “I’m Five,” he said, “that’s Three,” he pointed to moron two, “the one up front is Four.”
Once again Glenn waited for the punch line. Once again there was none.
“You’re shitting me,” he deadpanned.
“Father expects the best of us,” Three explained, “reminding us of our rankings is the best way to ensure we strive to the top.”
A cult. Glenn had been kidnapped by a cult. It was the only explanation. A cult of crazy evil Amish people who were okay with slavery and named their children based on a ranking of who was their favorite. He needed to find Nick and get the hell out of here.
‘Keep calm, Glenn’ he urged himself.
These guys outnumbered him and were stronger too. All he had was his silver tongue and it was useless if he flipped out. Talk his way out of this situation then laugh about how messed up it was when he and Nick were back home with a ton of weed.
“Does that mean that your names can change based on how much you mess up?” He asked, “cuz if that’s the case, I’d bet you won’t be Three much longer.”
Three glared, “and what do you mean by that?”
“I mean you did almost let me get away,” Glenn observed casually, “fell for the oldest trick in the book, you even said so yourself.”
Three’s face turned red in a mixture of embarrassment and anger, “you didn’t escape though,” he countered, “and you won’t be.”
“I know that now,” Glenn lied, “but it wasn’t thanks to you that I didn’t, is it? You were on the ground in pain while this guy,” he jabbed his chin towards Five, “did all the work of chasing me down.”
Five was radiating smugness looking at Three, “you know he’s got a point.”
“Shut up you idiot!” Three snapped. He turned to Glenn, “what is this? Some attempt to escape again.”
“Nah bro,” he dismissed, “I’m just curious on how this whole thing works. Like how monumental of a fuck up does it have to be to knock you down in the ranking?”
“There was no fuck up,” Three snapped, “because you didn’t escape. Besides, father won’t even have to learn about this, will he?”
“Hey, I’m no snitch,” Glenn assured. He looked to Five who was indeed contemplating Glenn’s words.
“I mean…” Five began, “father should receive a full report of what happened.”
Three grabbed a fistful of Five’s shirt, “but there’s no need to tell him about this right?”
Almost there.
“I mean speaking from an unbiased perspective,” Glenn mused, “I’d say someone who fixed the mess up should be ranked higher than the one who messed up.”
“He’s a moron!” Three shouted, “you know why he’s Five? It’s because-“
He was cut off as Five punched him in there face.
“Oh snap,” Glenn cheered, “are you gonna take that man?”
In response Three tackled five off the bench. As the two tussled, Glenn fumbled with his jacket trying to get his pocket knife out with his bound hands. It took a few tries, but in the end he was able to get out and open without stabbing himself.
Calling out encouragements to both side of the fight that was escalating, Glenn slowly sawed away at the bonds around his ankles. Thankfully, the sharp knife moved easily through the rough rope freeing his legs in seconds. Now came the hard part. Glenn needed his hands free in case another fight broke out.
It was hard. Glenn had to hold the knife between his palms and a few times he was worried he was going to lose a finger, but in the end he did get his hands free.
While the idiots behind him were still fighting, Glenn moved to the door. Thankfully, it was a simple latch and opened easily when Glenn pushed on it. The two men did stop fighting once it was open, but by the time they untangled themselves Glenn was already jumping out, flipping the two off on the way down before tucking and rolling.
The landing was rough. His arms got cut up by small rock in the road as he moved them to cover his face and the larger ones were definitely gonna leave some bruises. Still he was free. By the time he stopped rolling and got to his feet the carriage had begun to slow.
Flipping the assholes off one more time Glenn ran to freedom. He could hear the slowing of wheels and hooves, but it didn’t matter. By the time they stopped Glenn would have made it to the trees where there were infinite places to hide. He had outsmarted them. He was gonna escape. He was going to find Ni-
Out of nowhere his body seized up. Muscles refused to listen to him commands resulting in him face planting mid stride for the second time today. Glenn tried to shout or move or do anything, but he felt like a puppet whose strings had been cut. Had they tased him? There hadn’t been a jolt, but it wasn’t like he knew what being tased felt like. Maybe that was just a movie thing.
Evil cult Amish should not have tasers. It just went against their whole aesthetic.
Within seconds the men caught up to Glenn and hauled him to his knees. Five stood before him holding a stick in his right hand. He looked irate to say the least. That was fair. Glen was rather cranky himself.
“You’re almost more trouble than your worth,” Five complained.
‘Good then let me go, asshole,’ Glenn wanted to say, but him mouth still wouldn’t move.
The stick was swung in front of his face, “thanks to you we had to use the last change this thing had.”
A… stick? What was he talking about? A stick couldn’t charge anything. Maybe he was even crazier than Glenn had originally thought. That still didn’t explain why he couldn’t move though. He hadn’t eaten or drank anything so it’s not like they could have drugged him. Nor had he felt anything hit him.
Five pocketed the stick and rewrapped the rope around Glenn’s limbs. He was tossed onto the floor of the cart left to lay there like a broken doll. Back to square one. Perfect.
By the time he got feeling back in his limb it was dark out and they had set up a campfire and some tents near the side of the road. Of course Glenn was made to stay in the cart, shivering as the night grew cold but unable to do anything to get warm. They had taken his knife at some point too meaning he was completely and utterly stuck for the moment.
Glenn didn’t really get much sleep that night needless to say. The one Glenn hadn’t spoken to much, Four, woke up first. He stopped for a moment to look Glenn over before starting to move to do whatever needed to be done to get the moving again. This could be his last chance.
“Hey man,” he called out.
Four grunted.
“What do you say you let me go?” He fluttered his lashes, “pleeeease?”
What the hell was he doing? There’s no way just these jerks would let him go if he just asked nicely. Despite all common sense though, there was this nagging feeling in the back of his head that it could work that way, if he was lucky enough.
“I mean,” the words danced in his mouth almost rhythmically, “we’re buddies, aren’t we?”
“Yeah,” the man’s eyes had an odd glaze to them all of a sudden as he walked towards Glenn, “buddies.”
No way. There was no way in hell that this was working. But, sure enough, when Glenn held out his bound hands, Four began to dutifully undo the knot holding them in place.
Once he was done, Four stepped back, eyes still glazed over, “better, buddy?”
“Yeah,” Glenn rubbed his sore wrists, waiting for the trap, “you’re a real pall, thanks.”
“Want me to get your legs too?” He offered.
Glenn waved a hand, “nah it’s fine,” he didn’t know how long… whatever was happening would last and didn’t want to risk it, “I’ve got it.”
“Okay,” Four hummed walking away.
As he did though another voice called out, “Four?”
Glenn swore trying to work at the knots around his ankles. These people may be idiots, but apparently they could tie knots like a sailor. Because of that he didn’t hear the whole exchange but did hear when one of them shouted, “oh shit! He’s a fucking bard! Why didn’t we see it before? He fucking charmed him!”
Fingers fumbling over the ropes, Glenn had just gotten them loose when he was pinned against the floor of the carriage.
“Nice try, you dam bard,” Three snarled, “but we’re onto your game now.”
Bard? Weren’t those the comic relief guys who wore the stupid pants and annoyed everyone?
“I- hmmmf!” A cloth was shoved into Glenn’s mouth.
“Can’t do your magic without talking, can you?” Three taunted.
Magic? This guy was officially off his fucking rocker.
“Hmmmm, mhhhhhm,” Glenn tried to protest.
Three turned over his shoulder one hand still holding the cloth in his mouth, “Five get over here and help me tie him back up.”
“Come on,” Four protested, “we’re all buddies. There’s no need for that.”
“Shut the hell up, Four,” Five demanded, “just sit over there until you snap out of it.”
The rope was replaced around his wrists in short order while a new addition of a cloth gag was tied firmly around his mouth.
“Fmk ymm,” Glenn grunted in annoyance.
Nobody paid him any mind. They simply tossed him back in the cart and continued to pack up their campsite. After a decent amount of time passed, Four started yelling in anger. The man appeared to shout at Glenn for a few minutes and get in a parting kick to the ribs before returning to drive the cart.
Gagged as he was, Glenn wasn’t able to much more than make increasingly rude comments (that were impossible to understand but made him feel better) about his captors’ mother. They didn’t really react. Didn’t need to. They knew as well as he did that Glenn was completely stuck. He couldn’t talk his way out of this when he couldn’t talk. As frustrating as it was, all Glenn could do for the moment was bide his time and wait for a chance to present itself.
The second it did though, he was gonna break out and find his son. No matter what.