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“Close your eyes, Daisuke.”
Swansea’s voice sounded just like Daisuke’s father’s. He listened. He closed his eyes and took a breath.
Instead of just darkness, he saw color. It was blurry, as if he had been crying. He could hardly feel all of the pain he was in, almost like it was going away.
“My little Daisuke…” he heard his mother whisper. His face was in her lap and he was crying, rubbing his eyes excessively. “I’m not going anywhere, son. I’m right here. Mama’s right here, Dai.”
His heart felt heavy in his chest. His breath felt fleeting, but so full. He sniffled and looked up at his mother.
She looked so young, nothing like she did the last time he saw her. She had bags under her eyes, and her smile lines were prominent, but she didn’t look nearly as tired.
She ran her fingers through his hair, and all he wanted to do was tell her he loved her. To ask if she was proud of him. If he did something good.
He wanted to ask if she’d be sad if the tulpar didn’t make it back safe. He wanted to ask her for advice, how should he go about it? How should he make sure everything ends up ok?
But he wasn’t in control, he realized, as tears welled back up in his eyes. And he let himself cry.
He let himself crawl into his mother’s arms as she rubbed up and down his back, the touch soft and comforting as he hiccupped.
It felt like it had been hours that they sat there, quiet as he cried. And his mother was so patient. She just sat there and held him. She didn’t yell, didn’t get angry, she just sat there.
He wanted to ask her why she’d changed. Why she wasn’t as patient. Was it his fault?
But he couldn’t, so he sat there. And they rocked back and forth. And nothing hurt anymore except for a sharp pain across his face before everything went pitch black.