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“Mom, does Santa-” the plague that Jason caught a few weeks ago rears its coughing head.
Dread spikes her blood pressure and turns her in innards to ice. Not him. Not the last of the innocence.
She's lost baby clothes and superpowers but today is too soon to lose a construct of good will and positive reinforcement. He's her last child; this will elude her forever, now.
He is her last child. He is. Nostalgia does not necessitate procreation, though her body may try and sway her.
The thought sits in her stomach, as with Stevie and Ali. Do they lie? With Stevie, they did - her eyes could have drowned fish and they had just been so big and… there is time enough to learn about injustice. Santa would hardly stunt emotional development. That - and that her baby would have shattered with a reordering of her world view.
With Ali, it had been different.
Age nine, her youngest daughter had quietly informed both parents that she was grateful for their efforts but knew they were pretending to be Santa, when she liked them just how they were.
Her noodle, always concerned about others. They hadn't lied; hadn't denied that they were pretending. But, they hadn't confirmed either. Her heart still breaks a little to think her youngest daughter felt she needed to protect their feelings and pretend. They quashed that idea.
But the thought gnaws at her mind still. She hopes, fervently, that none of her children will hide who they are.
The breath which forces it's way into her lungs is baiting her, she's certain. She's not ready for another of the discoveries which accompany uncovering Santa’s non-corporeal nature. Everyone needs something to believe in. No-one should pretend to be anything but them to spare others.
The lessons which flood the Santa-sized hole.
Jason has finished hacking to high heaven.
She forces breath from her lungs. Watches it become air.
She steels herself for the inevitable.
“Does Santa pay his elves enough for them to live?”
A valid concern, which won't uproot the belief systems of both people when answered.
“I'm sure everyone involved is paid enough.”
Just a little lie.
There is time enough yet to learn about injustice.